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Let’s give Dawn a big hand!

Mary Worth, 9/27/12

Haha, Dawn isn’t even making a pretense anymore that her hospital volunteering stint is about leading a more fulfilling or spiritually rewarding life or whatever. You’d think she’d give Mary some kind of boilerplate lead-in about how “helping others is the highest reward blah blah blah” before launching into “LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT JIM THE SEXY AMPUTEE.”

Her new obsessions and her tendency to become monomaniacal about boys may explain the shocking scene here, in which Dawn is grabbing a steaming, fresh-from-the-oven pie plate with her bare hands, with a flimsy paper towel not even covering the entire hot surface. “At last,” she cries, as the odor of bubbling, searing hand-flesh fills Mary’s kitchen, “I won’t remind Jim of what he lost every time I reach to pick up a fork or salt shaker! We’ll be able to meet as equals!” (As you can see in panel two, Mary’s own hands are protected by long gloves made out of human skin.)

Archie, 9/27/12

So … the joke is that, while a teenager might accidentally use a homophone in casual writing, an adult would not? Because, as an occasionally professional editor-type person, let me assure you that there is a flaw in the assumptions here.

Ziggy, 9/27/12

Ziggy’s cat and Ziggy’s fish are sad, because they’re in love and their dreams of someday having a litter-school of cat-fish hybrid horror-children of their own has just been crushed.

235 responses to “Let’s give Dawn a big hand!”

  1. Ray Sharky
    September 27th, 2012 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    A3G: I’d really like to know where to find Comic Strip Brand Bubble Bath, you know, the kind that creates a thick, churning waves of sculptable foam, yet never overflows the tub.

    DT: Ha! Sam pooped his dive-suit! (Oh, how sad I am that I couldn’t type that comment for JP.)

    GT: “Emerald aisle”? Gil Thorp‘s transformation into Crankshaft was etc. etc.

  2. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 27th, 2012 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    MT: How are you going to stop the gun-toting poachers, Cherry? Zap them with your terrifying Mascarovision?

    @Dale (#y223): It’s a word problem:

    If a truck with two sheep killers, a cookie-dough dog, and a bizarre mutant child are traveling down the dirt road at 43 miles per hour, and a sexually frustrated woman riding a mustard-colored horse, accompanied by a big, intelligent dog, is traveling in the opposite direction at 25 miles per hour, how long will it take the woman, dog, and horse to tie a rope around a large, fallen tree and drag it into place so that the speeding truck hits it and the subsequent impact with the windshield improves the mutant child’s face?

  3. Clamps
    September 27th, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    The real joke in Archie is that Fred Andrews is actually a notorious illiterate.

  4. Chareth Cutestory
    September 27th, 2012 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    Ziggy: “A catfish isn’t what either of you think it is! But don’t be upset–I bet we could still convince a whooping, hollering redneck to stick his hand down your throats, too, if the money was right!”

  5. wossname
    September 27th, 2012 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    A3G – Lu Ann drew that bath. (Bolle must be out sick.) Lu Ann, you drew too many bubbles – it looks ridiculous.

    Crank – Here we were all assuming that Dickwad had just changed the channel to Univision. But no – he actually did press the button that makes the audio on all the shows come out in Spanish. Who says this strip doesn’t keep up with modern technology?

  6. Droopy Says
    September 27th, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Archie’s core audience is so old that they remember when literacy was the norm.

  7. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 27th, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    IP: nope. no subtext there. no sir.

    Lio: Charlie Brown never had such problems when he flew kites.

    NAoQV: *applaz*

    R&R: d’awwwww. *good dog*

    Zits: Connie, the child psychologist, folks.

    Bizarro: *gigglez*

    JP: resin in the wind. . . .

    RMMD: nice Barettos.

    RwO: SHOW DON’T TELL!!!! *applaz*

    6Cx: puppies work that way as well.

    SFx: “watch out for that tree!”

  8. Liam
    September 27th, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    A3G-This gives new meaning to all those Calgon “Take Me Away” ads.

    A3G 2-Let’s see the directions say insert fingers two and three into slit C.

    JP-Bubba is all strung out on weed. You know that marijuana makes you all high strung.

    Love Is-I hope that’s really cream he is pouring into the coffee and not something else.

    MT-Actually they didn’t see the log in time and crashed into it. Rusty was thrown through the windshield and died when he broke his neck hitting the ground.

    MW-He’s as physically crippled as I am emotionally crippled.

    RMMD-Poor June. Having to see the blonde dressed like that and unable to ravage her.

  9. Little Blue Bicycle
    September 27th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    MW: Unspoken dialogue
    Panel 1: “Eat the damn pie, old woman!”
    Panel 2: “Not a chance, it stinks to high heaven!”
    “I guess the hospital leftovers were a bad idea.”

  10. Mibbitmaker
    September 27th, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    MW:
    Lecture Mary should be giving about this: “I’m glad you found someone, Dawn. But don’t only base all your life improvements on just another man. Only your full potential will pull you through your difficulties and make you a happier person, even worthy of a mature, successful relationship.”

    What Mary WILL say: “Perfect! You did your duty and found twue lo-o-o-o-o-o-ove! It’s the ONLY WAY!”

    Ziggy: Ziggy’s watching the TV Nostalgia channel. Current programming: The Old Analog “Snow” Show.

    Archie: Nice try, Archie!

  11. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 27th, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    9CL – It’s funny, because Seth has no life or ambition of his own, but lives pathetically through the relationships of the Special Snowflake!

    I suspect that the signatures of the 3,000 witnesses are not legally binding on Edda, especially since she is a Burber, and thus emotional instability and indecision are features, not bugs.

    Finally, how could the 3,000 salivating ticket holders hear what was going on? Are ballet dancers usually miked up? Wouldn’t that lead to the sound of their panting and twisting drowning out the orchestra?

  12. Horace Broon
    September 27th, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    Crank: If only there was some source of instructions that Ed’s meddling couldn’t affect. Like if they had a physical existence on a series of flattened and dried sheets of wood pulp, or something.

    Curtis: “Boy, Dad, if you think modern African-American music must mean rap, you’re stuck in the eighties! Haven’t you heard of neo-soul or contemporary R&B?”

    FC: Jeffy has never cared less about any piece of information in his life.

    GT: Oh, come on! Firstly, Irish people know what “marketing” means. Secondly, after all Rubin’s attempts at Authentic Irish Dialogue, it’s disconcerting to have Terry say “going to the grocery store” rather than “going down the shops” or something.

  13. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 27th, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    big floofy puppies. (Mioritic, a shepherd breed from the Carpathian mountains, according to I Has A Hotdog.)

    bullsquee for bb,u.

    tomorrow’s Phantom, if True Fable was writing it.

    pony cosplay, done epic.

    welcome to my life.

    arctic fox.

    a gentleman caller for Poteet.

    corgsqui.

  14. Lenoxus
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    Wait, wouldn’t Ziggy’s fish (presumably) have made a much more accurate assumption than Ziggy’s cat would? A catfish isn’t both not-a-cat and not-a-fish. It’s a fish. Ziggy’s fish probably figures as much. (Then again, pet fish probably think of almost every creature they see as just another weird fish. Cladistically, they’re right.)

    Or maybe the original joke has nothing to do with Josh’s interpretation (even the less-squicky variant of “they just want a friend”). The problem is that I expect the cat and fish’s mistaken impressions to be the opposite of each other, especially given how Ziggy emphasizes the word “either”. But that doesn’t work (unless Ziggy is clueless about catfish?). It seems the original writer’s intention is: the pets both think a catfish is some kind of cat-and-fish hybrid. In which case the pets’ actual species is irrelevant; they may as well be human babies or children in a Keane-style “kids have the darnedest ideas” joke.

  15. The Grim Spectre of Food
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    I’m more worried about Archie’s double black armbands than I am about his illiteracy. Mrs. Grundy is cruelly neglecting Archie’s grief, and even his classmates are laughing at him. Archie tries to smile, but the tears still flow. Well, shoot out of his ears, anyway.

  16. tb4000
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    RMMD: “Yeah, we’re just friends. That provide each other with oral sex. I’m sure you and your husband do the same thing because you live together, right? Right?”

  17. Johnny Knuckles
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    @Ray Sharky (#1): You can find it at Montgomery Ward next to the Doris Day 50s Romantic Comedy bubble bath.

  18. S.Stout
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    Archie: Looks like Archie has hundreds of these premade, and just fills in the two blank spots with the class name and reason. Also, Archie is a moron.

    MW: If Dawn thinks a one-arm man won’t reject her, she is sorely mistaken. They have standards like everyone else.

    Ziggy: Ziggy sits in the dark, watches static on the TV, and occassionally turns around to harrass his…wait, his cat has two tails?

  19. Lenoxus
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    On Archie: Why did he go to school at all? If he really were sick he would try to avoid spreading any contagions, I hope. That seems a lot more suspicious than a mispelling.

    Obligatory Calvin and Hobbes doing it better.

  20. bunivasal
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    AGLU-3000′s comedy drive might be three generations out of date, but it does have the most advanced Family Circus Plagiarizing Circuit in comics today.

  21. Terry in Maryland
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    MT: Wouldn’t it be nice if Cherry at some point whipped out a cell phone and called 911? They should be within a coverage area since the airport is so close.

  22. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    MW: I love the FOOB-ish “stink vapors”…

  23. fillmoreeast
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Ha! I get it! The funny thing about Archie is that Miss Grundy’s colleagues in the English department are clearly terrible at their jobs! Ha! Ha!

  24. Greg
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    Ziggy watches snow on his television in the dark and talks to his pets. Surely Samuel Beckett never came up with anything as existentially horrifying as this.

  25. Cal
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    Also, judging from the thumb position, apparently Mary has her left hand on her right arm.

  26. The Ghost of Jarrod
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    MW – We all know what Dawn means by “physical therapy,” amirite? She means that he’s going through a health-care treatment designed for the remediation of impairments and disabilities.

    Life is brutal.

    Luann – Hey I just met you/And this is crazy/But are you kidding?/Greg sure is lazy.

    JP – Given how insistent is on breakfast, I think she might have already sampled some of Bubba’s new crop.

  27. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    3-G – As always, the interesting stuff happens offscreen. I want to see Greg literally going around turning heads, damn it.

    Slylock – In the second one, he clearly sees what’s between the gorilla’s legs. Even his vine has shrunk in reaction. It’s twue! It’s twue! Lord have mercy on my soul!

  28. Hibbleton
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    A3G: Lu Ann fills a tub with cotton balls and sighs. “If only I hadn’t already used up my water ration for this month.”

    MW: Mary drops by and bakes a pie in the Weston kitchen? That’s one way to keep your own kitchen clean.

    RMMD: So this is a setup for June to be too self-conscious to wear the skimpy bikini she bought after viewing the hotty?

  29. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Snuffy – I might believe how many emergencies happen on Sunday mornings. That’s when all the characters in nearby comics suffer the most golf-related injuries, some of them excruciatingly wacky.

    AD – Rather than spell out how BC is yet again going for the cheap anachronism, I will simply refer to numbers from a short list of criticisms and save myself effort and save everybody here from having to look at it again. That said, here goes. Ahem: “1.”

  30. nescio
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    MW: I guess they’re going to vote for Romney, they seem to prefer a white upper crust.

  31. Hogenmogen
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Pluggers don’t remember AMC motors.

  32. Doug Puthoff
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Archie–The strip presumes that all adults are smart enough to know how to spell “Soar.” As anyone who has watched HERE COMES HONEY BOO BOO knows, adults can be morons, too.

  33. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    Bizarro – Recently saw a web piece about the importance of choosing a name for your first pet, and how it should include upper- and lower-case letters, some numbers, and at least one symbol. XKCD? Don’t recall.

    Gasoline – I haven’t seen El Ropos in years. Weren’t they made of hemp? I guess we’ll have to watch Slim to find out.

  34. Marc
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    9CL- Remember, if every ounce of your attention is not completely focused on the Burber, you are dirt and are unworthy of life.

    A3G- So Lu Ann clearly has a vibrator going full blast down there below the bubbles. Although I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little surprised that she figured out where to put it.

    Mark Trail- Cross eyed Cherry has managed to move that gigantic log from wherever the hell she was yesterday to the middle of the road directly in front of the oncoming poachers truck. She was able to do it by herself and with more than enough time as to where they didn’t see her doing it. She must have crazy eye powers where she can move stuff with her mind because she sure as shit couldn’t have pulled that off physically.

    Mary Worth- I think it’s becoming blatantly obvious, if it wasn’t before, that Dawn is a sexual predator.

    Luann- Speaking of sexual predators, anybody else noticing how Ox conviently shows up to “save” the helpless females and sweet talks them about how pretty and nice they are? Ann Eiffel, until she wanted to sue Trashy the firefighter and her piss pot niece/daughter/ward of the state, and now Tiffany. I’d be more worried about Ox than Leslie Knox if I were any of the 7 females in the strip.

    Funky- Les can sit there smugly, knowing that he isn’t on the hook for a dime because his special snowflake is so great that she and black Lisa replacement unit’s daughter have full rides.

    Snuffy- The two biggest frauds in Hootin Holler are going to brawl over which one is more unethical.

  35. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    Luann: Tiffany and Ox? The plot demands it!

    Dick Tracy: It’s Sam Stinkem!

    Phantom: I freely admit this makes no sense.

  36. Hogenmogen
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    Archie: What are you complaining about? It passed the spellcheck.

  37. Marc
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    Another Mary Worth thought. What physical therapy could Jim possibly be doing at the hospital? He hasn’t been fitted for his prosthetic yet, so he’s clearly not learning to use that. Is he just there to interact with girls who are emotionally retarded and obsessed with the color purple so he can appreciate the fact that his arm may be missing, but he still has his mental sanity?

  38. Hogenmogen
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    Archie: Oh, there is no spellcheck program in Archie’s retro-world of …when? … judging by the apple on Ms. Grundy’s desk, I’m thinking the 1940s.

  39. Hogenmogen
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#37): Maybe the arm isn’t the only appendage that he tragically lost.

    Dawn will be disappointed again, I’m afraid.

  40. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    Luann – Actually, it’s the strip that attracts flies. Particularly one pervasive major ingredient in the strip.

    Mary – Wow, Dawn is really becoming a goody-goody! Don’t look now, Mare, but in panel 2, your halo is trying to sneak away from your head and over to hers.

  41. TheDiva
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    MW: This is Santa Royale, remember. Landing a man is the only way a woman will receive spiritual fulfillment, or any kind of fulfillment for that matter.

  42. Illustrator Steve
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    MT – As the VILLAINOUS SHEEP KILLING KIDNAPPING POCHERS head for near-by LFI* Cherry drops a log in the middle of the road while Andy drops a log of his own in the middle of the road.

    (*LOST FOREST INTERNATIONAL JETPORT AND CANOE RENTALS…a subsidiary of the T. Rading Company LLC)

  43. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    MW: Dawn still hasn’t said a word about where in the hospital she’s working, or what they have her doing. And let’s face it, Mary’s not going to ask. The only rational conclusion is that she’s a volunteer flirter, a severely devalued western geisha.

    Archie: Check the Welcome Back Kotter reruns, Archie. It never worked for Epstein either.

    Ziggy: “So no, you’re not going to produce one by making sweet, sweet love, although you’re welcome to try. In fact, let me go get my camera.”

    MT: Andy: Lady, take my example. If you want people to be halfway impressed by your plans, stop verbalizing them every two seconds.

    Crock: RJ Reynolds will take their product placement where they can get it, I guess.

    9CL: While having Edda recap the plot like that, I think even Brooke got the sense that something was deeply amiss, although he’s managed to ignore it.

    JP: Avery fumes, “Who does this guy think he is? Woody Harrelson always lets me hang with him when he harvests his ganj.”

    RMMD: “We’re just friends and I haven’t been having sexual relations with him or any of his other friends and no money or cocaine has changed hands as a result. Why are you looking at me like that?”

    BB: “Son, this is a volunteer army. You don’t need to pretend you’re crazy to get out.”

    DT: Okay, I really hope that Sam crapping himself in terror doesn’t become a regular thing, because the last thing we need is Marvin: The Police Serial.

    GT: Doyle Dane should be piledrived into the ground by Milford’s biggest and most savage defensive tackle, just for the “emerald aisle” pun.

    PBS: Pig is there to meet Prince and the nice girl with the raspberry beret.

    Luann: Leslie’s still there? The guy’s so slow he can’t be much of a threat, and might have some kind of degenerative muscle disease.

    A3G: As Thursday morning presents go, you can’t ask Shulock and Bolle for much better than Lu Ann pleasuring herself in the tub to thoughts of Greg. Although it might improve a little were she to say “Tommie, there’s a spot I can’t reach.”

  44. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    Phantom – “Maybe I should look into removing that enormous catnip mouse the villagers recently put up in the center of town… NAH.”

    Tarzan – Uh oh, the Mambus are on the rampage! Better send Ngura out there to dazzle them with his book learning. State capitols!

    @Clamps (#3): The real joke in Archie is that Fred Andrews is actually a notorious illiterate.
    Miss Grundy actually taught Fred Andrews, years ago, and she knows that if he’d really written that note, there’d be more like six or eight misspellings, including his name.

  45. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#38): No, it’s the 90s. The 1790s. That apple just bounced off Sir Isaac Newton’s head.

  46. Austria
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    Luann: Gurl look at that shading. This plot is far from over.

    PBS: So, a pig and a goat are having a conversation on the phone about the pig helping the farmer…milk a cow. Now I’m starting to wonder about the animal hierarchy in this strip.

  47. TheDiva
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    9CL: “Seth was a gay man who apparently had not heard same sex couples in New York could be respectably married, and therefore he had nothing to do but marry off the rest of the world.” (Apologies to Miss Austen)

    A3G: I’m trying to figure out how LuAnn is contorted into that bath. It’s headache-inducing, but not so much as the thought of what she’s doing under those bubbles.

    C’shaft: It’s impossible to just randomly hit buttons and change the display language–you have to go into the menu to do that. More proof that Crankshaft is dicking with people on purpose.

    Luann: There is no way this will not end in an idiotic and insulting manner.

    Pluggers can’t even afford used cars anymore.

  48. Hart of Johnny
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    Judging by the color, that Sara Lee pie is still frozen. It’s as cold as Dawn’s frozen, brutal heart.

  49. Illustrator Steve
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#34): “Cross-eyed Chery has managed to move that gigantic log…She must have crazy eye powers where she can move stuff with her mind…”

    Nah, that’s just those temporary super powers Cherry gets whenever she wears a pair of her pretty Uranium 235 stone earings Rusty made for her from some OLD STONES he found glowing in the ancient Indian burial grounds.
    You know, sort of like the Incredible Hulk but with earings.
    You should see how she whips up a batch of pancakes while wearing those earings, It’s enough to make Doc have a MELT DOWN!

  50. jjmacjohnson
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    Finally Archie shows his true colors. The Fascist arm bands have been broken out!

  51. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#33):

    Weren’t they made of hemp? I guess we’ll have to watch Slim to find out.

    Scancarelli’s interpretation of the effects of cannabis should be awesome, or cringeworthy, or awesomely cringeworthy.

  52. Esther Blodgett
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#31): Or Buick.

  53. bbofun
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    ASM- Robbie, I like you- you’re a nice guy. but if you break the fourth wall again, I will kill you. (Also- for cripes’ sake, Clown-9 was “defeated” a week ago! I know it’s a tradition for Spider-Man stories to end on Sunday, but why not just end it LAST Sunday?)

    Also also, (kinda like “p.p.s.”)- if Spider-man’s big plan to defeat Clown-9 involved the taser/joy buzzer, why the whole thing with the circus? Couldn’t he have just waited for the next attack, and use the buzzer then? Plus, I can get that clown-9 wasn’t expecting that sort of attack, and wasn’t prepared for it- but it’s not like he’s stunned now? He must have plenty of other devices ready to go. (No-prize answer- the “joy buzzer” shorted out all his equipment.)

    DT- Shouldn’t this be a “B.O.Plenty” joke? (Also, they managed to drain that tank pretty damn fast- and what about the poor fishies?)

    MT- Sorry, Cherry- they won’t have to remove that log, since now they’ve activated “ghost mode”!

    RMMD- “And, Mrs. Morgan- my eyes are up here!’

    A3G- Man, her hands are moving fast- she’s churning up that water somethin’ fierce!

    Pibgorn- Hold on- what was viagra-guy’s 3rd wish? (Or did length and girth count one each?)

    Luann- Why are people assuming this is the start of a Tiffany/Ox relationship? If anything, you know it’s going to be that Ox gets infatuated, and Tiff leads him along to do things for her- SHE’S EEEEEEVIL! (And that must never change.)

    TTFN- I’m off to portray a biblical patriarch!

  54. Esther Blodgett
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    Confidential to Miss Othmar: You rock. Thanks for the support. :)

  55. bbofun
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    Wait- forgot two-

    CRANKY- Someone’s been watching “Friends” in syndication, hasn’t he?

    MW- Since this is for the Westons, i’m assuming this is “sammich pie”- 4 ham-and-swiss-on-ryes baked inside a crust.

  56. Mary Worthless
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Can she bake a ‘nilla pie
    Mary Worth, Mary Worth
    Can she bake a ‘nilla pie, meddlin’ Mary?

    She can bake it in a flash
    with no browning of the crust
    For she’s a young girl
    With two arms not like her mother.

  57. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @nescio (#30): heh (!)

  58. Nekrotzar
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    I would not rule out the possibility that in the Ziggy-verse, the cat and fish could copulate and produce catfish-like offspring. After all, it must have been a combination at least as bizarre that resulted in Ziggy himself.

  59. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#51): Scancarelli’s interpretation of the effects of cannabis should be awesome, or cringeworthy, or awesomely cringeworthy.
    Though it’s possible they’d be subtle, like if Slim’s entire character so far has been based on him being continually high, without ever drawing a lot of attention to it. Actually, I guess that’d be kind of awesome.

  60. NoahSnark
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Ziggy is hoping watching nothing but static will cause a little girl to appear and drag him into the television.

  61. Walker of Dog
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    MW: Dawn: “I’ve been busy, too!”
    Mary (chuckling): “OK, sure. Here – I just nuked a pie.”

    Plug: Pluggers can remember back longer than 10 years ago? That’s impressive.

    A3G: The security guard at the Generic State Lottery politely asks the crazy naked lady to step out of the ball machine.

    A3G2: Although it has reminded her that she’s out of bubble bath, Lu Ann regrets the chimichanga.

    FW: “However, you parents who are wearing your children’s skin are welcome to stay, because that is just too cool.”

  62. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#y61):

    My kids watched that very same episode last night. That woman is DISGUSTING and that family has some very screwed-up priorities.

    They aren’t even sophisticated enough to be called white trash!

  63. Stroker Ace
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Archie – Betty and Jughead proofread the note and said it was fine. Now they laugh while Archie gives them the behind the back double middle finger.

  64. kkarenb
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Baby Blues – Is that the little girl from Cul de Sac in the second panel?

  65. Illustrator Steve
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    MT – Conversation overheard coming from a big old truck in the woods…
    (Sheep Killing kidnapping Pocher #2): “It seems like we are forgeting something.”

    (Sheep killing kidnapping pocher #1): “Well, YOU packed the truck, not me!”

    (SKKP#2): “Yeah, lets see…cofee pot, coleman stove, sleeping bags, guns, tablecloth, china set with danty tea cups, one stupid looking mutant kid, one stupid little spotted mutt. YUP! All gear accounted for, boss!”

    (SKKP#1): “And, the BIGHORN SHEEP HEAD, right?”

    (SKKP#2): “Oh, SHIT! The SHEEP HEAD! I forgot to load the SHEEP HEAD!!”

    (SKKP#1): “You IDIOT! Now I have to turn this big old trunk around and go back to that nice little neat and tidy abandoned cabin again! And JUST when I was going to have fun jumping that big old log with this big old truck, DANG-IT! DANG-IT ALL TO HECK!!”

    (Rusty the mutant child): “COME ON! It would be cool to jump that big old log with this big old truck! COME ON, DARN-YOU, JUMP IT! PLEASE!?”

    (SKKP#1): “SHADDAP, KID! I suppose next you’ll want us to TAKE YOU FISHING or some dang thing!”

  66. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#13): Hee—I laughed out loud. (And boy, I’m with you on those cookie trust issues! Why screw up perfectly good oatmeal cookies with raisins anyway?)

    @Hogenmogen (#39): Sigh. Dave used to disappoint me.

  67. btown
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    MW: I hope that Dawn cuts off her left arm to demonstrate her undying loyalty to Jim. He then promptly dumps her in favor of a sane human, and she is forced to schlep back to Italy and sink another ship.

  68. Dood
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: Is Lu Ann doing what Dagwood would be doing if he weren’t interrupted all the time?

  69. Dood
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Mary, having just seen The Help, decides to have some fun with the Westons.

  70. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#y213):

    Re: Juggs Parker – Didn’t this story arc start last May or so? But in Juggs Parker time, it’s only the next morning now?

    Could they drag this plot out any slower?

  71. Hogenmogen
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    Spiderman: Robbie is holding out his hand to us for a high five? No, Robbie. Not until you explain “can’t win for losing”. Is that like seeing trees or forests or something?

  72. Liam
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    A3G-Lu Ann must have been very dirty. Look at that massive lather she raised.

  73. greghousesgf
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    Ziggy: Shouldn’t that be “either of you thinks”?

  74. AhClem
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    9CL – My willing suspension of disbelief has been stretched to the limit with this current story line, but today’s strip shatters it into tiny little pieces and strews them across the countryside.

    I mean, 3,000 people at a Burber ballet? Come on, Brooke!

  75. Hogenmogen
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    Archie: How could Grundy have decided it’s a forgery? Well, it is printed in the same font that everyone uses for speech, for one thing.

    “Nice try, Archie.” Archie looks as if he was stifling the world’s loudest fart in history, and just could hold on no longer. I don’t know why the class thinks it’s hilarious, as they are downwind of the invisible toxic gas which has already shriveled most of them into student-shaped charcoal briquettes.

  76. Liam
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    MW-Isn’t it customary for the people to give Mary an offering when she visits? Why is she giving Dawn a pie?

  77. A New Day
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    Also, why is Ziggy watching a teleprompter?

  78. Hogenmogen
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    JP: I’m riveted by this sub plot. “Let’s talk over breakfast vs. let’s keep talking over a pre-breakfast coffee”. How will it be resolved? Will they have pancakes or waffes or blueberry blintzes? Will the syrup be real maple syrup or some 95% corn syrup artificially flavored crap? Will Sam request sugar-free syrup just to be a dick, or will Avery request it (just to be a dick)?

    Well, there’s going to be some dicking around, for certain.

    Tune in tomorrow when:

    Avery: I want my camera from Bubba.

    Bea: Bubba is busy.

    Avery: But I really want my camera.

    Bea: I want breakfast.

    Avery: Can I just get the camera?

    Sam: *smug grin*

  79. Clint Brawny
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    What tipped Miss Grundy off is actually the random bold font.

  80. sporknpork
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    Are we sure Archie’s hands are in his pockets because he’s sheepish about a piss-poor excuse note? Because I’m pretty sure that Archie sharted himself in front of the entire class and now is trying to hold his dignity in place.

  81. Paul1963
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    Take a close look at Mary’s face in today’s Mary Worth. Something’s not quite right about her eyes.
    Perhaps someone finally snapped. “You, you nosey harridan! You RUINED MY LIFE! Well, NEVER AGAIN!”
    (Stab, stab, stab)
    “Wait, all the other people in this generic apartment complex might think something was wrong if you NEVER MEDDLED IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS AGAIN YOU YOU you… Okay. Calm. Yeah.
    “Got an idea. I just need them to see you around. You can tell them…what? You won a round-the-world cruise. Yeah! And you won’t be back for a long time! Perfect!
    “Now let’s see what kinda knives you have around here…”
    Yes, I’m suggesting that someone has murdered Mary and is wearing her skin as a disguise.

  82. Hogenmogen
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    MW: The perspective in panel 1 is from slightly above Mary and Dawn’s eye level. The perspective in panel 2 is from slightly below Mary and Dawn’s eye level for the ladies, but at knee level for the background. Look at the ceiling and the underside of the cabinets. I’m catching a buzz just thinking about it.

  83. Santa Royale With Cheese
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Ziggy: I suppose it was inevitable that there would be an Avery’s Glasses Channel.

    JP: Speaking of, for some reason Avery reminds me of Lobot. And Bea is reminding me to buy more milk.

  84. Liam
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    MW-Don’t eat that pie, Dawn. Mary put some of her hair in it.

  85. Mibbitmaker
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    9CL: Magic evolved quickly into common sense realism, as heard in the penultimate panel. We know you all too well, Edda.

    Curtis: Proudly stuck in the ’80s because he dislikes rap? Rap started up at the beginning of that decade as a popular music form. Really, strip? I dislike most rap (post-1982), and I’m proudly stuck in the ’70s!

    RMMD: Rex and June, you are now Mr. and Mrs. Roper.

  86. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    @Paul1963 (#81): Sort of like the Vincent D’Onofrio alien in Men in Black, but about 3 days into the disguise, when it’s started to decay.

  87. Hogenmogen
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    Other nitpicks in MW: Even if we are to believe that the tiny towel that is supposed to protect Dawn’s hands from burning, she is placing her thumbs bare on top of the pie. Dawn Weston, weaned on the fiery hot coals of hell, burns not at all from this tepid terrestrial oven.

  88. Hogenmogen
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#62): I just read a blurb in my local paper that Honey Boo Boo is slated for a Halloween, Thanksgiving and a Christmas special. No, they’re not milking this thing for every drop or anything.

    I had no knowledge of this show until two days ago, and I didn’t think there was a gaping hole in my life that is now filled.

    As far as watching the show for a heart warming vision of a family that really cares about each other, I get the real thing at home from my own kids. When I watch TV, I want to see people in rage and stuff blowing up.

  89. DAS
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    Do I dare make a Chris Rock or David Chappelle style joke about the whiteness of Mary Worth’s pie. Is it some sort of albino pie?

  90. Shrug, Speaker to Spam
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    @office 2010 free (#y224):

    I knew your brother, Scott Free, a.k.a. Mister Miracle. I assume “Office 2010″ is a traditional Apokolipsian name, probably given to you by Granny Goodness when you trained to become the vile Mister Spam?

    // I’m not reading your comic book, though.

  91. Liam
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    MW-”It’s great. It would be even better if there wasn’t all these sick and dying people.”

    Curtis-And also proudly stuck in a cultural stereotype.

  92. Liam
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    MT-”The airport? But you said you were going to take me fishing.”

  93. Red Greenback
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    Ziggy dashes Sid and Goldie’s dream of becoming Pluggers.

    Today’s terrific writer is Ricky Santorum, age 54.

  94. Shrug, Speaker to Spam
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#y43):

    ” Remember that in JP Sophie’s rival for the guy that she’s trying to purchase with the Bender Blaster is her cheerleader nemesis, who is named Honey something-or-other.”

    And there’s Honey Huan in DOONESBURY (not seen lately, though) and MARK TRAIL had a bear named Honey some time back. I think all of these characters work for APARTMENT 3-G’s “Queen Bee.”

  95. Walker of Dog
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    @Santa Royale With Cheese (#83): Interesting. Bea is reminding me to clean my awnings this weekend, and I don’t have any awnings.

    Does Bea have Rorschach boobs?

  96. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Speaker to Spam (#94):

    Honey Huan did appear in Doonesbury earlier this year, as part of an anti-Romney diatribe. It was a one-note cameo, but she’s been a fully-realized character and part of the cast since at least the early 1970s.

  97. Roktober
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    Catfish isn’t what you think it is? Do Ziggy’s pets think Catfish is a nature show rather than faux-documenatary a thriller about the nature of expectations in the social media age?

    Holy crap, Ziggy that is some meta-shit right there!

  98. bats :[
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Are the various and sundry comics collections repeating CdS from the beginning? If so, that’s cool!

    MW: I think that’s one of those “take and bake” pies (I’m pretty sure it’s stenchberry, too) — either that, or Mary has no clue what “until the crust browns” means.

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#207Y): you asked for it, Billy got it…

  99. Ray Sharky
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @Johnny Knuckles (#17): Is that the same aisle where you can find SplatRite(TM) Screwball Comedy Creme Pies?

  100. Snarkotix Addict
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    MW – Poor Dawn has high hopes for meaning and purpose and all that, but most important, she thinks she’s found a new boyfriend. But she doesn’t realize that Jim is married. How could she know? It’s an understandable, but tragic mistake, given that he’s not wearing a ring on the ring finger on his left hand.

  101. Christopher
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    MW: Dawn: By the way, the crust of this pie is still solid white, indicating it hasn’t been cooked, but there’s a plume of steam or smoke or…WHAT THE HELL IS IN THIS PIE?

  102. Anonymous
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    Who put the razor blade in Miss Grundy’s apple?

  103. Little Guy
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: “Junior!” and “Jack Tripper’s Ghost!”

  104. sporknpork
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#102): Woops, that was me.

  105. sporknpork
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    @sporknpork (#104): Me being the poster of the comment, not the one committing the cartoon action… okay, I’ll stop now.

  106. Little Guy
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Grandmaster Flash *and* Cee-Lo proudly frown on your shenanigans, Greg.

  107. Ray Sharky
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

  108. Baka Gaijin
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#34) on Apartment 3-G: Lu Ann hasn’t figured out where to put the vibrator, hence the overflowing mounds of bubbles in the bath.

    @Dood (#68): Yes.

    @Liam (#84): Pubes?

  109. Shrug, Speaker to Spam
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#y223):

    “Could Cherry and horse actually have moved the log? In the time available?
    What is the direction of travel relative to the log and conveniently placed boulders? Did Cherry know about them in advance?”

    Well, sure. Cherry seemingly has no idea of the existence of the old abandoned cabin maybe three miles from her house, but she knows the location of every boulder and dead tree in Lost Forest. Probably every pile of Giant Squirrel Droppings on the ground, too.

  110. Dale
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    Did MARY WORTH carry that stinking hot pie to the Westons’ apartment, or did Dawn hand it to Mary after remembering all about oven mitts?

    Why would ARCHIE go to school with a note, bogus or not, to get out of just one class? Gym class, maybe. Otherwise, skip entirely.

    To be fair, the LOST FOREST TRAIL regional airport is most likely a flat grassy area with Quonset huts for facilities.

  111. Baka Gaijin
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#88): And friends wonder why I won’t subscribe to American TV.

    @Walker of Dog (#95): Does Bea have Rorschach boobs? I think St. Thomas More pondered that in “Defence of the Seven Sacraments.” Five chapters if I’m not mistaken.

    @Christopher (#101): Contents of Pie: Fossilized Dog Poo.

  112. fnord12
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    I think Ziggy’s television program is in Morse code.

  113. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#98): Hahahaha–brilliant!

  114. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Speaker to Spam (#109):

    If a giant squirrel shits in the forest, and Cherry isn’t there to see it, does it make a mound?

  115. wossname
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#110): I’ve been trying all morning to figure out the nuances of the pie-handling scene. First of all, whose kitchen is that? The lack of mayo jars suggests it’s not the Westons. Did Mary invite Dawn over to her condo to watch her bake pie? Or (as most are assuming) did Mary carry the smoking-hot-yet-still-white pie across the courtyards of Charterstone to the Westons’? OR did Mary bake the pie at the Westons’, to instruct Dawn in the womanly arts now that she almost has a sort-of boyfriend?

    If Mary had any respect for tradition, she would have left the pie on a windowsill to cool, where it would have been stolen by a rascally yet charming hobo.

  116. Snarkotix Addict
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    A3G – “… fun to be on the arm of a man who literally turns heads!”

    Silly LuAnn! Greg’s not a chiropractor, he’s an actor.

    Now, put away the styrofoam peanuts and go to bed.

  117. Ray Sharky
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    @fnord12 (#112): It could also be biorhythms, or maybe a graph representing Tom Wilson Jr.’s effort to create a quality comic (blue) against audience response (black flat-line).

  118. Baka Gaijin
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#115): Charming hobos aren’t interested in Plaster of Paris pies.

  119. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

  120. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#119):

    Oh, that hobo is looking to get him some pie, just not the plaster-of-paris kind.

  121. Baka Gaijin
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#120): You beat me to the punch line. Damnit!

  122. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#88): As I’ve said elsewhere, I lost any interest I might have had in the show when I found out it wasn’t about talking bears.

  123. billman
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#64):

    That does look like Alice Otterloop, and in the 3rd panel Peppermint Patty!

  124. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#121):

    Timing is critical … no …. important … no, wait. Damnit, can I come in again? No? Is the Veal still on special?

  125. Calico
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    And haha, Ziggy’s TV is circa 1973!

  126. Not Just Any Dipstick
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#92): The Airport? What is it? – A place for airplanes, but no time for that now.

  127. Calico
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    OK, someone please “do something” photoshoppy with these images of LuAnn in the tub.
    Ha, she had to get all personal with herself after meeting Greg!

    MW – Should it be “The Weston Apartment” or “The Westons’ Apartment”?
    Or even better, “Chez Weston”?

  128. bats :[
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    More speculation, hearsay and wild rumor: Hm. Maybe it’s Wilbur’s birthday, and Mary’s made him her special Miracle Whip pie…just five jars of the crap spooned directly into the shell. The secret of the crust is mayo instead of shortening!

  129. AndyL
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    “A catfish isn’t what either of you think it is! … but keep going; I like to watch.”

  130. Dood
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: I think it’s very thoughtful for Mary to have prepared a hot, steaming mayonnaise pie for Wilbur and Dawn.

  131. Ray Sharky
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#127): How’bout “Villa Westoni” to commemorate the Italian Adventure?

  132. Baka Gaijin
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    Oh God, J. Jonah Jameson, just fuck Spiderman already.

    Mary’s next advice for Dawn should be: “Onanism: A man need only one good hand or a warm cherry pie. Think about it.”

    Roscoe the dog (Pickles) eats more neatly than Elly Foob.

  133. Calico
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#22):
    Mystery pie, yum!
    EatGlutMunchSnarfBurpChewMmmmfUuurpChomp

  134. Dood
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#128): Wilbur’s long been a sucker for Mary’s Mayonnaise Meringue Pie recipe.

  135. tallyHO
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    @Christopher (#101):

    I know, right?

    In going through my mental recipe rolodex of delightful pies, I can not think of any hot pie which looks luminescent or has a bleach white crust…unless it is one of two pies.

    I had to consult my non-mental recipe rolodex (mainly because of the crazy recipes in the mental one).

    There’s two possibilities:
    One, It is a VooDoo Love Pie.
    The reason why it lacks color is because it is Zombified. As for the filling, I presume it contains lots of calories….and voodoo!

    Two, it isn’t a pie at all. Instead it is just a pan filled with hot towels for Mary and Dawn’s long post-poned, weekly spa day.

    I’m leaning towards the pie…because voodoo pies command anyone who sees them to lean towards them. Be honest, after seeing today’s Mary Worth, aren’t you too a little off-kilter?

    It’s the pie.

    Just imagine what spell Meddling Mary is casting upon Dawn and Jim as a couple.
    (by the way, “Dawn Et Jim” might go down as the worst Truffaut film ever after “Dawn Et Dave Et Brutal!) The rummified vapors must be filling up the kitchen with an intoxicating fragrance which will soon have Dawn under the thralls of Mary’s will. Soon, we will witness Mary’s meddling expand two fold, the usual meddling and now with meddling happening in a young teacher’s life and on the campus of Local University!

    //yay! coffee!

  136. Down With OPP
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    I know Josh doesn’t like “Archie” very much, but there’s nothing in this comic that suggests Archie is gay, or that he’s using a phone, or a gayphone or whatever it is that you’re insinuating. Does it always have to be about sex with you people?

  137. Calico
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @Snarkotix Addict (#100):
    Dawn: “What’s this ring on a chain around your neck? Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiii not again eeeeeeeeeeeee”

  138. tallyHO
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#135):
    ^
    ^
    ^
    ugh. I forgot. That probably reads better if you think of the voice of Peter Graves. Or, Phil Hartman as Graves.

  139. tallyHO
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @Down With OPP (#136):

    Well, played. That was a thinker cuz you had me going: do I use a gay phone? It’s so…grippable! And, it does look like it turns on… Oh noes! It vibrates! Oh yes, It is useful!

    Gay phones rock (and expand my vocku-blary!)

    You had me worried for a bit.

  140. Uncle Lumpy
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    … as an occasionally professional editor-type person …

    It’s funny because Josh is only occasionally professional!

  141. Red Greenback
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    Come and listen to a story ’bout a man named Jim
    People ’round these parts never, ever heard of him
    Then one day he was riding on a ferry,
    And ended up in a soapy strip called Mary
    (Worth that is, salmon squares, white pies)

  142. Ray Sharky
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#128) & @Dood (#134): Nosey, nebby, meddlin’, advisin’

    She’s my mayo pie,
    Cool drink o’tater-ade with salmon square surprise,
    Taste so bland you’ll think you’ve died,
    Sweet mayo pie, yeah!

    Woaw!

  143. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Down With OPP (#136): Does it always have to be about sex with you people?

    Yeah, you know me!

  144. commodorejohn
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#85): and I’m proudly stuck in the ’70s!
    Hey! That’s my line!

    I would pay so much money for Josh’s take to be the actual direction for this Mary Worth storyline.

  145. Calico
    September 27th, 2012 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    @Down With OPP (#136):
    OK, Willard, calm down! LOL

  146. Calico
    September 27th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    Oh look, Dawn has a halo almost in proximity with her head! All hail Dawn!

  147. Batman Beatles
    September 27th, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#64):
    It looks like it to me.

  148. seismic-2
    September 27th, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    Dawn: “Mary, may I ask you something?”
    Mary: “Of course, dear.”
    Dawn: “Is it true that in the Depression you sold apples out of a pushcart?”
    Mary: “Yes, Dawn, that is indeed how I made ends meet, for several years.”
    Dawn: “And were you known as ‘Apple Mary’?”
    Mary: “My goodness, Dawn, I hadn’t thought of that in years, but you’re right!”
    Dawn: “So you knew all about apples and the recipes for using them?”
    Mary: “Yes, dear, as ‘Apple Mary’ I became something of an expert.”
    Dawn: “Then let me ask you about pie!”
    Mary: “Up yours, dear.”

  149. bats :[
    September 27th, 2012 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#141), @Ray Sharky (#142): clapclapclap!

    Of course, Jim is just as enthusiastic about your talents, only he expresses them much more quietly because…well…you know…

  150. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 27th, 2012 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    @Christopher (#101): WHAT THE HELL IS IN THIS PIE?
    Ceci n’est pas une pie!!

  151. debussy fields
    September 27th, 2012 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    MT– And from the looks of that truck they’re driving, Orville Wright will be in the cockpit of the plane.

  152. Getafix
    September 27th, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    MW: Mary hasn’t been “available” lately. Available for what??? And what has kept her so busy? Is she still covering Wilbur’s column for him while he continues to contemplate saving his newspaper by writing ultimate survival story of the events that took place months ago? Perhaps I’m naive, but it doesn’t seem like writing a few responses to letters from readers would consume much time, even on top of volunteering at the hospital a few hours a week, tending to one’s roses, and cooking up beige masses of some food-like substance. Now Thelma from Family Circus, she’s busy!

  153. Ed Snyder
    September 27th, 2012 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    What the hell kind of pie comes fresh out of the oven with a WHITE crust? One that isn’t cooked yet.

  154. Dood
    September 27th, 2012 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#148): Still one of the funniest strips ever.

  155. Liam
    September 27th, 2012 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-All the while June wishes she could dress like that. “But I’m a wife and mother, ” she silently thinks to herself.

  156. Illustrator Steve
    September 27th, 2012 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#92): “The airport? But you said you were going to take me fishing!”

    (Sheep killers): “Yeah, kid, SURE we will take you fishing. *giggle* Here’s the plan…once we board the BIG OLD airplane you make sure you pick a window seat, see? Yeah, then all you have to do is crack open the cabin window next to your seat and once we are over water just toss your tackle out the window while holding onto your rod. Then, when you get a nibble, yank on your rod really really hard and the attendant will have the on board security team assist you. Be nice to those fellows because after we land they will take you somewhere safe. Yeah, kid. You will like Guantanamo…lots of warm sun and they say the fishing’s great down there!”

  157. Shrug, Speaker to Spam
    September 27th, 2012 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Snyder (#153):

    “What the hell kind of pie comes fresh out of the oven with a WHITE crust?”

    Sweeney Todd just had an albino customer. Mrs. Lovett is willing to try anything once.

  158. Liam
    September 27th, 2012 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    MW-I think the pie in today’s comic is supposed to be another type of pie. Notice how the pie is white. No pie that is cooked is white. I think Mary wants Dawn to eat another type of pie.

  159. Ray Sharky
    September 27th, 2012 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    @Getafix (#152): “Sorry I haven’t been available,” is just politetalk for “I’ve been avoiding you because you a dreary, mope-a-dope with hair like a polecat, and I really don’t feel like doing twenty-to-life on a murder-two beef just ’cause I unexpectedly found myself alone in an enclosed space with you, but I just fortified my nerves with a belt or twelve of Woodford Reserve Single Barrel, so you should be safe-ish for another ten minutes or so.”

  160. popamatic
    September 27th, 2012 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    The Judge: I’m not familiar with how pot is harvested, but I didn’t think it all came “ripe” at one time. Please show us the harvest, please! I want to see Bubba driving around on a combine harvesting rows of pot. Then driving trailers full of product to the local market/mill.

    MW: It appears no one here has yet noticed that the pie has white crust! It hasn’t even been baked!

  161. bats :[
    September 27th, 2012 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

  162. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 27th, 2012 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @popamatic (#160):

    Wow! Good catch on Mary Worth and her raw pie!

    Also, did anyone notice that, in yesterday’s H&L, the garbageman looks a lot like Thirsty?

  163. Kwazzymodo
    September 27th, 2012 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    MW – Dawn is wearing a heart- shaped locket. I’m willing to bet she already has baby pictures of her and Jim in there. This isn’t going to end well. #lifeisbrutal

  164. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 27th, 2012 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    @Getafix (#152):

    And what has kept her so busy?

    Would you believe that she and Dr. Jeff have been obsessively poring over the Kama Sutra, trying every permutation at least once?

    No, of course you wouldn’t. I just wanted to see the look on your face.

  165. seismic-2
    September 27th, 2012 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#162): And Aldo Kerast looks just like somebody who used to be on TV, but I can’t quite put my finger on it at the moment.

  166. tallyHO
    September 27th, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#164):

    Is that what you heard?

    Well, I heard that they’ve been performing Kama Sutra Style in Public While Camouflaged as Chameleons. That’s why there is no photographic evidence.

    Now, you didn’t here this from me.

    /alice kramden

  167. Calvin\'s Cardboard Box
    September 27th, 2012 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#166):

    I guess that is art … of a sort!

  168. tallyHO
    September 27th, 2012 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    Genuinely Perplexed.

    That is how the latest Snuffy Smif leaves me feeling.

    Why is the Parson doubting the Man of Medicine? Is it because he believes he knows that the Medicine Man’s emergencies involve ritual vomiting from a Saturday (or, colloquially, Sattiday) Night Boozing?
    Does he doubt an aftermath of problems which bespeak of Hootin’ Holler’s Dionysian Debaucheries that occur on the middle day of the weekend?

    I just don’t understand his skeptical answer. If he is alleging the Doctor is backsliding, that seems kind of harsh.

    As it goes, I could only hope this ended in a fist fight betwixt the two.

  169. Marc
    September 27th, 2012 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#166): They’ve spent so much time on it that they’ve become…..wait for it….. Kama Chameleons.

  170. Illustrator Steve
    September 27th, 2012 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    MT – I see Cherry’s earings are still on, every hair still in place and not a wrinkle or sweat mark on her pink blouse even after the exertion it must have taken for her and her horse to drag that big old log across the road. Yes, that Lost Forest area of the southern part of the state sure is one amazingly enchanted magical place!

  171. Illustrator Steve
    September 27th, 2012 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    MT – Is Cherry cross-eyed or is she just dizzy after dragging that big old log across the road? I think if it were dizzyness Jackelrod would have shown rings of little clip-art stars circling around her head, you know, sort of like the ones we’ve noticed circling our heads when we read the Mark Trail comic strip.

  172. Ray Sharky
    September 27th, 2012 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#170): Obviously, she’s a customized Cherry 2000 and Lost Forest is one of the few remaining habitable surface environs. Just how a Cherry 2000 wound up “married” to a Mark T Punch-o-tron or how the two of them came to “parent” a wild mutant Rusty is too complicated to get into right now.

  173. Hart of Johnny
    September 27th, 2012 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    @popamatic (#160): I noticed it(#48)

  174. Alison
    September 27th, 2012 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    “Zits”: So, Jeremy just admitted that he’s a shitty kid? Because usually when you say someone is a bad parent, it means their kid is a brat.

    “Mary Worth”: “*Volunteer* duty? Derp! I forgot to do that part [smacks forehead].”

  175. billman
    September 27th, 2012 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#162):

    If i didn’t know better I’d say that was sarcasm, oh wait . . .

  176. demoncat
    September 27th, 2012 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    mary worth. as dawn talks about her new soon to be romance mary is going poor dawn just when you showed sign of being your old self you will be back to life is brutal when the guy reveals he either has a girlfriend or lover . ziggy. sorry a cat fish is not a cat that can swim like a fish fellows. dispointing his pets who were looking forward to a new companion to help them escape ziggy

  177. Chance
    September 27th, 2012 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    each of Mary’s fingers looks like a tiny arm with tiny hand at the end straining upwards

  178. odinthor
    September 27th, 2012 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    @billman (#175):

    Snark-asm.” FTFY.

  179. tallyHO
    September 27th, 2012 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    Pardon Our Dust.

    whrrrrrrr. bang bang bang. squeakle squeakle. rattatat tat. squeeeeeeak. bang bang…. Ouch! sucksuck. grrrrr….

    whrrrrrr.whrrrrrrrrr. rivet.rivet.

    Okay. I ain’t so good at fixing things but maybe I can get this thread back together so it makes it close to Mexico.

    hmmm…let’s try this out: Molly and The Bear

    It doesn’t seem to be hilarious with a capital Larry but–unlike some comics I snark on– it seems to have multiple drawings and they are sorta of…what is the word….appealing?

    // ahhh….@odinthor (#178): you got here before I finished this up.

    But, hoo! “Snarkasm”. That’s Snarkastic!

    (oh yeah. it is thursday! keep ‘em comin’, puntender!)

  180. Chaze
    September 27th, 2012 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    Seth is a gay bully, by golly.

  181. Katzenjammer Kid
    September 27th, 2012 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    Josh: It says clearly, in the box, that Mary is visiting the Westons. Therefore it is Dawn’s kitchen, not Mary’s, that is filling with the smell of burned flesh. You really need to pay closer attention to these relevant details.

  182. Liam
    September 27th, 2012 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    MW-”We’re going to get married next June. I would be honored if you would marry us, Mary.”

  183. Red Greenback
    September 27th, 2012 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    Here, Dawn. I froze you a pie.

  184. Hibbleton
    September 27th, 2012 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    @popamatic (#160):
    JP: Best Farmers Market ever.

  185. The Ridger
    September 27th, 2012 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    JP: Just delete the damn pictures already. Avery gets his fish, Bubba gets his weed, Bea gets her peace and quiet, and Sam gets whatever it is he wants at the moment. And we get the fleeting hope of a story with some real drama.

  186. seismic-2
    September 27th, 2012 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#185): And we get the fleeting hope of a story with some real drama more Peaches.

    FIFY

  187. tallyHO
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    Here’s my thing about today’s Ziggy:

    (and pardon me if someone already pointed it out)

    How the heck is Ziggy interrupting a conversation with the cat and the fish?
    Were the two of them hanging out behind Ziggy and having a debate about Evolution?

    (CAT: It would be de-volving!
    FISH: Evolving! Because it could outswim you and still kick your cat ass!)

    So, what does Ziggy do now? Does he lecture them on what a catfish is? How do they even know about, what must be to them, exotic chimeras that combine the best of their respective worlds?

    Or, do the two pets fear that the Catfish is the end of the line for all cats and all fish? Are they concerned that that is their fate, each of them turning into a catfish and, as a final act worthy of nothing or noone, they are fated to chase and then eat themselves?

    So, how the heck is it that Ziggy is interrupting a conversation between a cat and a fish?

  188. kkarenb
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    @Snarkotix Addict (#100): Becky wears her wedding ring on her right hand. (Batiuk always includes this detail, as well as the safety pin holding up her sleeve. What does it say about him that he renders these details as lovingly as Brooke draws and shades Edda’s legs?)

    Hey, everyone – tonight on Jeopardy the word “defenestration” came up, in the category “There’s a word for that.”

  189. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#187):

    Ziggy has special powers.

    That’s
    why
    he
    doesn’t
    need
    to
    wear
    pants.

    Pants would hide his power.

  190. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    Rip Haywire – Can somebody explain to me what is going on in this strip? At the end of the last arc, Rip and Cobra get married, then suddenly something happens o him which scared him so much that he turned into a wimp, then somebody shoots at him, making him drive off of a cliff, he wakes up two years later, and Cobra wants to marry some other guy.

    I know this strip is a bit of a parody, but what am I missing here?

  191. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail, the long version

    The two villainous sheep killers are barreling down the backroads in their 1970 pickup truck. Rusty is wedged between them on the sticky plastic bench seat. There is no air conditioner, so the heat of the engine is blasting into their faces. Road dust drifts through the holes in the floor.

    SK1: Christ, who would have thought a little puppy like that could smell so bad!

    SK2: It’s not the puppy, it’s this…kid, I guess! Why don’t we pull over and, uh, you know, look for a good fishing spot!

    SK1: (winking) Oh, yeah, a fishing spot! What do you think, kid? Wanna go fishing?

    Rusty: Fishing! Oh, boy!

    SK1: Kid’s not the sharpest tool, eh? How do you want to do it? Any ideas?

    SK2: Something that involves battering his face beyond all recognition. Just for the fucking aesthetics of it!

    Meanwhile, Cherry, waiting for the sheep killers and Rusty, talks to herself out loud.

    Cherry: Wow, bouncing up and down on that galloping horse reminds me that I haven’t seen Ranger Tom Martin in a couple of weeks! God, I’m getting wet just thinking…STOP IT! Rusty’s in danger…have concentrate…ooh, look at that pine tree, standing up tall and straight, just like…OK!…STOP! I’ll call, Tom, as soon as I get back, but right now I need to focus on getting Rusty out of those poachers’ hands…yeah, tomorrow I’ll feel Tom’s hands all over my..FOCUS, GODAMMIT!

  192. Liam
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    Archie-Yes. It’s not like adults are capable of making speelling mistakes too.

    FW-Don’t worry we will still coddle you like your parents did.

    Zippy the Pinhead-Avery could learn something from these two about breakfast time.

    JP-Oh just give Avery the incriminating pictures of him and underage children already.

  193. Peanut Gallery
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    A3G – “He literally turns heads! Just look at this beautiful wooden doll-head he made on his lathe!”

  194. Chaze
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    Is there anything going on in Judge Parker today other than a great pair of boobs in panel two? No, not Avery and Sam. Sheesh.

  195. Chaze
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    LuAnn “draws a bath” and does a better job of it than Frank Bolle.

  196. Liam
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    A3G-Greg should really get that habit of breaking people’s necks under control. If he wasn’t such a big Hollywood star he would have been arrested for murder by now.

  197. Liam
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#195):

    Lu Ann should try to work on perspective and size. One moment the tub is higher than her head and in the second panel the bubbles come up to her chin.

  198. Miss Othmar
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#54): Any time.

    Hey ‘Mudgeons — you ought to click on the blue names once in a while — you find good stuff that way. (Hint: start with Esther’s name)

  199. tallyHO
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#189):

    Well, you learn something new everyday.

    I thought the reason why he didn’t wear pants was because he was a monk who went through demonksteration. ( I can’t demonstrate how that works) and was sent to live the life of St. Francis of a So So amongst (friendly-enough) critters).

    The thing isn’t that he can talk with them or understand them, like a modern day (really pathetic ) Doctor Dolittle. It isn’t that.

    If your cat and your goldfish started arguing about what a catfish is, wouldn’t you just sit and listen, wondering if the dog slipped you some acid? Or, the parrot. The parrot would know and if he did it, he’d admit it because that is just what parrots do, brazenly. Cracker-wantin’ cage dwellers!

    I’m just sayin’ that interrupting what must be an impressive conversation between two separate species (that are probably not allied in the great Survival Scheme of Things) seems unwarranted and…oh crap.

    What….ah geez. I’m writing about Ziggy, aren’t I? How lame is that?

    //of course, as usual, i keed. ‘Sall in fun!

  200. Chaze
    September 27th, 2012 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#197): Hah! That supports my previous supposition.

  201. Chaze
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    Rusty’s kidnappers appear to be driving a Ford 150 body sitting on a Fiat 500 chassis. A small stick and a pebble in its way will render it undriveable.

  202. tallyHO
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#201):

    And then Andy Dog could jump onto the rear bumper and flip the MFer….or just knock out the puppets by forcing them to bump their heads on the ceiling of the cab.

    //i have no idea how Cherry Trail believes she is going to stop two armed men…..

    now that I think about it, two one-armed men with guns would be a problem, too.

    But, I just don’t get it. She’s a mom and she’s in supermom mode. I get that. But, after months of Spider-Man and Clown-9, I’ve learned not to get my hopes up.

    Furthermore, I finished my fake Rusty kidnapping story WEEEEEKS ago. Weeks. It’s taken this long to get to this point. And god knows when it will end. I’m still thinking Thanksgiving, our time. That’s when the two timelines will merge and the storyline will officially end. With a new storyline of turkeynappers (men who like sleeping with turkeys) will begin!

    Make it so, Elrod!

  203. Chaze
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#202): The poachers seem to be also driving the Pleasantville Ford Fiat 500. The one that remains black and white in a color world and makes all inhabitants do the same.

  204. Sgt. Stoned
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    Archie: Ms. Grundy caught on to Archie’s excuse forgery because it is obvious that both of his parents are dead. That is why he is wearing two black armbands.

    Pickles: It’s funny because Earl is an impoverished senior forced to eat Alpo.

  205. tallyHO
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#203):

    Ah! The power of cheese!

    There is something brilliant about how that panel looks though.

  206. tallyHO
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    Something’s been buggin’ me about Mary Worth’s pose in the second panel.

    She’s gesturing like she’s laying out some sort of wink-wink innuendo.

    She could be easily asking, “But, salmon is salmon, right?”

    Instead she seems to be inferring that “volunteer work” at the hospital meant Dawn’s duties would be to “cheer up” the hospitalized. If you know what I mean.

    Is Mary Worth one of them Meddlin’ Madams?
    Is her Voodoo Love Pie symbolizing that dawn is in some sort of white slavery sex ring now?

    Lordy! Oh wait.

    It’s Mary Worth. I shouldn’t let the bad art lead me on…

  207. Dagger
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    Nice try, Archie! THAT particular Welsh rugby player has been dead for 83 years!

  208. GrafSpee
    September 27th, 2012 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#190): Well, according to a comment that Dan Thompson made on September 21st strip (see the comments here), Dan thought that the story arc was too cliched and decided to shake things up by seeing what would happen if Rip lost everything. It’s still too early in the story arc to fill in a lot of the details.

  209. tallyHO
    September 27th, 2012 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    @GrafSpee (#208):

    Now, that’s just awesome art. And, FOUR panels! Wowee!

    We should aggregate the best newer strips. If only because it is tough to discover new ones. Even with strictly web comics, it is tough to locate good ones… to someone else, most of them are “good”.

    If not us then someone should aggregate them somehow. There’s probably plenty of snark-proof comic strips being made.

  210. tallyHO
    September 28th, 2012 at 12:11 am [Reply]

  211. Poteet
    September 28th, 2012 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#13): And I’ve seen much worse in bars.

  212. Poteet
    September 28th, 2012 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    9CL — This strip is not doing much for the NYC tourism industry, giving the impression it does that everyone there is (a) a Burber, or (b) batshit insane.

  213. Poteet
    September 28th, 2012 at 12:41 am [Reply]

    MW — Weird though the white pie is, it can’t compete with Mary’s facial expressions. They both look like a deranged person coming toward you with a hypodermic needle.

  214. Percival Dunwoody
    September 28th, 2012 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    RWO: two of the reasons The Little Mermaid in 3-D will be better than the original

    MT: consider the thought process behind the poachers’ actions: “We need to kill the boy; but not here in this lonely cabin in the woods. Let’s take him to the airport and kill him there.” I guess they are hoping to sell the “boy parts” in the duty free shop?

  215. Alex Blaze
    September 28th, 2012 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    What the hell happens in Mrs. Grundy’s history class that you couldn’t participate in if you had a sore throat? Singing medieval songs about the Crusades? Yodeling the presidents in order? Or is there some horrific way that kids are supposed to take notes at Riverdale High that’s too gruesome to even think about?

    Ziggy appears to be watching static at 3am, interrupting a conversation he’s imagining between his goldfish and his cat. The cat’s worried expression is something like, “It can’t be long before… I have to learn to use the can opener myself,” while the goldfish’s contemptuous deadpan means, “Did anyone ask for your opinion? The only reason I’m anywhere near you is that I can’t pick up this bowl and move to the cool part of the house, with the parrot.”

  216. Droopy Says
    September 28th, 2012 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    Spider-bland: Wait until MJ discovers that the “news flash” is actually a Cartoon Network rerun of an old Spiderman cartoon, and it was being watched by someone in her audience. Then she’ll get more bent out of shape than that crate.

    Creepy Les: For one brief moment, I had the hope that it was Creepy Les who was about to leave the strip forever.

    Mock Trail: So ths is how it will end? The giant squirrel will grab these nuts and store them for winter?

    Family Circus: I’m sure this strip has God thinking about retirement. At his age he can’t risk getting diabetes.

    Jugs Parker: Avery will need ten minutes to check his flies? Even Sam knows he’s overselling his manliness.

    Pluggers: Misunderstanding buzzwords since the invention of language.

  217. Poteet
    September 28th, 2012 at 1:02 am [Reply]

    A2G — Yep, Greg literally turns heads. People stare at him and think “Good god, his nose looks like it’s shifting around. I have got to lay off the Ambien!”

  218. Poteet
    September 28th, 2012 at 1:02 am [Reply]

    Whoops, A3G. Sorry, Tommie, I forgot about you again.

  219. With Cat As My CEO
    September 28th, 2012 at 1:05 am [Reply]

    MW: Wait till Dawn finds out why “You Don’t Mess Around With Jim”

  220. Poteet
    September 28th, 2012 at 1:10 am [Reply]

    @Alex Blaze (#215): If I had a float, your Archie comment would ride.

  221. Gap-Toothed Starey "HOOOO!" Guy
    September 28th, 2012 at 1:36 am [Reply]

    Luann, 9/28: NO NO NO NO NO. Nope. No. And things were going so . . . relatively non vomit-inducingly.

  222. Cal
    September 28th, 2012 at 1:52 am [Reply]

    @Cal (#25):
    Now, as of 9-28-2012, Dawn’s thumb has migrated to the wrong site of her left hand, too! Is this an epidemic of hand-switching?

  223. Comcis Fan
    September 28th, 2012 at 2:47 am [Reply]

    MW: “You had the white apple pie in your hand and the spoon up your nose.”

  224. tallyHO
    September 28th, 2012 at 3:13 am [Reply]

    Meddle Leka Hi
    Meddle Hiney Ho! You will eat white pie and before you know
    You will meddle with another guy and he’ll cause you great woe.
    Nom Nomnomnom. Such is the curse of having Mentor Mary Worth!
    Meddle Leka Hi
    Meddle Hiney Ho!

  225. Tangerine
    September 28th, 2012 at 3:30 am [Reply]

    Luann: Okay, now I’m just pissed. “If you dress slutty, you’re just asking for it.” Seriously, WTF? Congrats on topping the anti-feminist 9CL Amos-Seth handshake, Greg. Maybe you can do a crossover where Edda gets raped in her sexy, sexy wedding dress–that would be about as tasteful as anything else you two come up with.

  226. parcheesi
    September 28th, 2012 at 4:27 am [Reply]

    That note in Archie is baffling my mind. Is it a boilerplate letter? The boldface text resembling the speech bubble text while contrasting with the signature, and being placed where the necessary spaces would go, would seem to indicate that; but this by itself doesn’t clearly point to any meaningful conclusions, and if we consider the strip’s iconography, it’s more rational to assume that the boldface words are intended to draw our eye to the spelling error which supposedly betrays Archie’s authorship. But written letters, unlike speech bubbles in a comic, do not normally bold words for emphasis; and even if we accepted the premise that a note’s reading level can betray the age of its author, shouldn’t we then conclude that Archie’s letter was written by a 12 year old?

  227. Liam
    September 28th, 2012 at 5:23 am [Reply]

    MW-Look at that glazed over expression on Dawn’s face in the second panel. She is so lost on her current obsession, Jim, that she doesn’t even notice Mary giving her an uncooked pie.

  228. Kirk
    September 28th, 2012 at 5:42 am [Reply]

    Hello, Comics Curmudgeon readers! For those of you who have purchased The Casual Vacancy, I will be reading the book and discussing it day-to-day on my blog, chapter-by-chapter.

    The first chapter is already up, and if any of you actually want to read it (which I sincerely doubt), here is the link: http://kirksbooks.wordpress.com/2012/09/27/the-casual-vacancy-sunday/

  229. gleeb
    September 28th, 2012 at 6:54 am [Reply]

    Baldo: He’s got them in a highly emotional mood. A few crocodile tears, and now comes the grift.

    Sam Driver, Center of the Universe!: Sam has missed the early rise. He’s missed his breakfast. And now, worst of all, no one is paying enough attention to him! I see the mother of all rich-guy tantrums coming on.

  230. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 28th, 2012 at 7:15 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#212): “9CL — This strip is not doing much for the NYC tourism industry, giving the impression it does that everyone there is (a) a Burber, or (b) batshit insane.

    “Or”?

  231. smacky
    September 28th, 2012 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    JP: “I’m about to go confront Bubba about my camera while he’s hip deep in weed swinging a machete! What could go wrong?”

  232. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 28th, 2012 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    A&J: d’awwwwwwww. *sniffle*

    CdS: I had all of those books as a child.

    IP: Doom does not steal.

    Lio: I can hear childhoods breaking.

    Dilbert and Speed Bump are both fart jokes.

    Zits is. . . . teen experiments in bondage.

    Bizarro: WIN!!!!!

    MG&G: nice to see Jen Erica’s friend Toquinne getting some work.

  233. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 28th, 2012 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . . cash for ass. we GET it all ready!!

  234. Justin Sabe
    September 28th, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    The second pannel of MW is a study of point perspective with nearly all the lines and shapes pointing in the same plane to the bottom right.

  235. Paul1963
    September 28th, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @Down With OPP (#136):

    No, it doesn’t have to be, but it’s more fun if it is.

Comments are closed for this post.