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Metapost: Would you like to fight about the election? Do so here!

Ha ha, yes, Momma, it would be amusing if the two candidates in today’s election were forced to share the White House, and the presidency! But alas, it appears that one of them will in all likelihood defeat the other. If you would like to argue about their relative merits, feel free to do so, in the comments on this post! The usual discussion policies are suspended on this post, so knock yourself out. If you’d like to talk about today’s comics, you can do so over here. If you’d like to see what I think of the election, I’ll be posting things all day on your Wonkette.

309 responses to “Metapost: Would you like to fight about the election? Do so here!”

  1. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    November 6th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    So what phone number am I supposed to dial to vote for the candidate of my choice?

  2. Little Guy
    November 6th, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    Um….. vote Quimby?

  3. Vanya
    November 6th, 2012 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    I hope we can alll agree that either candidate is better than Thorax.

  4. Vanya
    November 6th, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    The truly terrifying thought is that Ohio is the crucial swing state – which means Les Moore, Crankshaft, Wally etc. will be deciding the fate of our nation.

  5. LP2004
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    So. Brewster Rockit or Dirk Raider? Decisions, decisions…

  6. Roger Ln
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    @Vanya (#4): Les is just the right combination of smug and lazy to vote for a third-party candidate at random. I think that makes him the primary target demographic for Virgil Goode’s campaign.

  7. Inspector Butterflyfish, LFHD
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    I just voted … for your mom!!!

  8. Chareth Cutestory
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    Pfft, like Romney would ever settle for a house that small!

  9. But What Do I Know?
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    I refuse to even consider this issue until the President gets to live in a cool joint like the Skull Cave. How do you say “Executive Mansion” in the Bandar tongue?

  10. terrapin
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    I go Pogo!

  11. Little Blue Bicycle
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Life is about to be brutal for someone.

  12. Fraser
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    A special message to all my Republican friends: don’t forget to vote tomorrow

  13. gleeb
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    If you’re in Maryland, I urge you to put the most important ballot question over the top. I refer, of course, to requiring judges of the Orphans Court to be licensed to practice law in the state. YES on questions 1 and 2!

  14. Matthew
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    What a great concept for a reality show: former presidential election rivals as housemates! Hijinks ensue.

  15. ctc
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Say…. I smell a hilarious sitcom, a-la “The Odd Couple!”

    Don C.

  16. bad wolf
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    According to Wikipedia, Mel Lazarus never graduated high school, but is a member of Mensa. So, maybe this bizarre strip makes sense in that context (“A child’s idea of politics!”)?

  17. cheech wizard
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]


    Thanks Josh, I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.

  18. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    I can’t believe there is actually going to be an election. The political cycles have extended so far that it seems as if there is just one continuous campaign season, and that tomorrow will just be the first tracking polls for 2016. Romney will claim that he didn’t lose, he just ran out of time, and keep right on stumping in Ohio.

  19. Previously Undecided Voter
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    Okay, I’ve made my decision. My write-in vote goes to the Snorg-Tees babe in the ‘Octopi’ shirt.

  20. Mibbitmaker
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    Who knew Mel Lazarus was clairvoyant!

    Given 2012′s pathetic need to one-up 2000, here’s someone’s comic strip’s dialogue in the coming days…

    “After the popular vote is cast, a group of assigned people will decide the next president.”
    “The Electoral College?”
    “No, the Supreme Court!”

  21. Poor Thompson
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Judging from the fact that I don’t see the fence in that picture of the White House, I assume the characters in Momma are trepassing and are about to be tackled by a dozen secret service agents. Sadly, this panel has been omitted.

  22. teenchy
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    Why does that Momma strip give me a “The Thing with Two Heads” vibe?

  23. pugfuggly
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#17):

    Well, I had to check it today once I read your post. Suddenly I’m in the mood for Peking Duck…

  24. Marc
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    “Just remember… you represent the office of the mayor. So always conduct yourself in a manner befitting… QUICK! Honk at that broad!”- Mayor Quimby

  25. Buck Ripsnort
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    I saw, I voted (I most certainly did not come); that concludes my contribution to the American Dialogue. I plan on avoiding tv, newspapers and the informative parts of the interwebz until tomorrow morning. Gonna go see Wreck-It Ralph, or something.

  26. TheDiva
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    President, shmesident…out here we’ve got marijuana on the ballot! Legalize it, mon!

  27. Stev0
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    I’m voting for Kodos.

  28. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]




  29. Arabella
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    I came to this post expecting to see anger unleashed, a lot of bold print and capitalization, but find only the usual humor and civility. You folks are just too gosh darned NICE. But I’ll check back later.

  30. Wolf
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Hopefully today is the end of an error and better days lie ahead. But my cynicism, honed by years of reading Crankshaft, has convinced me otherwise, and I expect that four more years of misery is our lot.

  31. TheDiva
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#25): We’re moving today, so as soon as the laptop gets packed up we’re going to be unpligged until cable etc. gets installed tomorrow. I’ll probably have a glance at polling results via Mr. Diva’s smartphone but other than that I will be happily disconnected from the proceedings.

  32. bobby sneakers
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    “can two elected men share a nation without driving each other–crazy?”

  33. Plag
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    Seriously, folks. Dagwood would be a horrible president.
    Vote for REX MORGAN, MD!

  34. Chad Sexington
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    It is true; even with at topic bearing maximum potential for bellicosity, this thread has less nasty trolling than my Etsy knitting discussion group. (I wish I were joking about this!) So, THANK YOU everybody for making me smile and momentarily restoring some of my faith in people.

  35. Downpuppy
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#17): Blows? Nay, I have to respectfully disagree:

  36. Greg
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]


  37. The Ghost of Jarrod
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Don’t blame me, I voted for Bill and Opus. Meadow Party ’84!

  38. The Ghost of Jarrod
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Incidentally, I’m a Democrat from Minnesota, and though I was 10 at the time, I obviously supported Mondale in ’84. (I shook Fritz’s hand after his concession speech that year. Truefact.) One Bloom County from that era, though, has always stuck with me. I can’t find it, but IIRC, the dialog is as follows:

    MONDALE DELEGATE: This isn’t the Democratic National Convention, is it?

    MILO BLOOM: No, it’s the Meadow Party. Democrats are across the street.

    MONDALE DELEGATE: Third party, eh? We’re running a former vice president. Who do you guys have?

    MILO BLOOM: A dead cat.

    MONDALE DELEGATE: [Looks over shoulder, shrugs, walks into Meadow Party convention] What the hell.

  39. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    On the ballot for Senator of the great state of Wisconsin: Nimrod U. Allen III. Top that, funny pages!

  40. cheech wizard
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @The Ghost of Jarrod (#37): Indeed, it’s a pity they’ve been term-limited.

  41. 555 95472
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (#35):
    I think, in the spirit of bipartisanship, perhaps we can all agree that Mallard Fillmore is that rare entity that manages to both suck AND blow.

  42. Notebooked
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    I thought this place was going to be full of barely-concealed aggression. I come here and find pop culture references and comics chat.
    B’aw, you guys!

  43. Stev0
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @Arabella (#29):

    Oh, bite me.

  44. Notebooked
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @555 95472 (#41): What, like a vacuum cleaner with two nozzles?

  45. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Cyanide and Happiness wins the news cycle today, I’m afraid.

  46. Vince M
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Well, I’m going for Richard Nixon’s head. He’s got the robot vote!

  47. Calico
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    Margo Magee for President!
    Seriously, I’m so fatigued from the pre-election stuff I have nothing to say, really. Perhaps later.
    I do hope those going to the polls will remain civil and polite.

  48. Esther Blodgett
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    I urge you to vote for the millionaire douchebag of your choice.

  49. Calico
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#18):
    I agree. It never freaking ends!

  50. Marco
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    If Romney loses, it will still look good on his resume when he uses his magic underwear to fly to Kolab and plead his case for becoming a god of his own planet.

  51. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    Vote! And the ads will go away.

    Hi – Nice to see that our electorate is keenly interested in the political system, to the point that they discuss it, in all caps with simple words misspelled, in the comment sections of gag-a-day strips. I hope they’re doing it instead of voting.

    Herb – I guess Herb lives in Pennsylvania. Unless that’s not really a shredder.

    @cheech wizard (#17): I’m not letting this stop me.



    @Wolf (#30): Four more years of misery. I expect you’re right. The House of Representatives isn’t likely to change parties this election.

  52. Brave Little Toaster
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    I don’t know about y’all but I vote for Mayor Dalton’s prostate (

  53. Victory Garden
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    @Fraser (#12): This I like.

  54. Chip
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    Congress has it’s lowest approval rating EVER, yet I’m betting 90% of the incumbents get reelected. Oh well…

    @Arabella (#29):


  55. Liam
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    Josh, if that was to happen I would like to see the Romneys and the Obamas divided the house up with a line separating everything like a bad comedy.

  56. Santa Royale With Cheese
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:39 am [Reply]



  57. pugfuggly
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#51):

    Four more years of misery. I expect you’re right. The House of Representatives isn’t likely to change parties this election.

    CNN reported that John Boehner saw his shadow when he left the Capitol house this morning, so we can expect 4 more years of republican majority.

  58. Chip
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    If is WAS to foray into political talk today, it would be just to say that I’m fed up with the media’s bias. Yahoo News called it for Obama at 330 electoral votes. That was the headline. When you read the article, they broke it down, and that was only ONE possible outcome, with a 15 % probability! FIFTEEN PERCENT! There’s your all caps for you… You may resume your comics-related dialogue…

  59. bats :[
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    I loved today’s Bizarro…they can change the spelling, but we all know that they’re all, way deep down, gubers.

  60. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    I’m hoping that the run of grainy black-and-white negative campaign ads: “Meet Howard Rowland. He thinks that children should all be sent to the gas chamber.” will soon fade away. For the next cycle, I want more ads that resemble late-night infomercials:

    Is this you?

    “Ah cashed in mah 401K so that I would have more money for gambling and drugs. Now I want to retire, but I don’t know if I can afford it! I wish there was some easy way to ensure my retirement security and yet still feed my many addictions!”

    Well, now there is! That’s right, this amazing new, Government-approved, wonder product will give you the security you deserve! It’s right in the name! SOCIAL Security!

    “Wow! Before Social Security, I lived under a bridge and ate the corpses of dead hobos. Now, I live in a luxury condominium and travel to Atlantic City every other week for a weekend of slots and free shrimp cocktails!”

    And all this can be yours for a low monthly payment of just 6.2%! Sign up now, and your first two months payments will be cut to 4.2%! And that’s not all!

    The first 100,000,000 callers are eligible to participate in our new medical insurance program. We call it Part D, but it will make you feel like you are on the A list!

    But wait! That’s right, another full set of Ginsu Knives will also be included. Store them in the attic with the other dozen sets!

    Call now – operators are standing by! English translations available for the hearing or accent impaired!

  61. BibleThumper
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#47):I had fully intended to do so, until a stranger approached me with outstretched hand and TOLD me to vote for her for school board. Ignoring her prooffered hand to shake, I promptly forgot everything I had been taught by Miss Manners. Mayhem ensued.

  62. BibleThumper
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]


  63. Ian Beste
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    @Inspector Butterflyfish, LFHD (#7): …and she thanks you for your vote.
    @Stev0 (#43): That’s not bipartisan!
    @Chip (#54): Oh MY congressman is just fine, it’s all the other guys that stink!
    @Buck Ripsnort (#25): Definitely see “Wreck It Ralph” if nothing else for the “Paperman” short cartoon that precedes it.

  64. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    I like Brak! You like Brak! Everybody likes Brak! Brak for President! Brak for President!

  65. Virgil
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    It is not that Mallard Fillmore sucks or blows; the truth is that you simply disagree with its politics.

    In fact if you are a liberal and hate the comic, it is probably because it is doing something right from a conservative point of view.

    It is a matter of perspective.

    BTW I neither hate nor love the strip.

  66. Notebooked
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#64): *Barack.
    (Is that a pun? A homophone joke? Hm.)

  67. Droopy Says
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    So where is Nehemiah Scudder campaigning, and when do we get the results from New Jerusalem?

  68. Calico
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#55):
    As long as it doesn’t come down to this:
    (I remember seeing this lith as a kid and thinking “So that’s what goes on in Washington!” ; )
    Poor guy.

  69. Droopy Says
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @Notebooked (#66): “Space Ghost Coast To Coast.” Brak was the devil-masked alien guest star. I think Space Ghost was a Sixties cartoon show; maybe Seventies.

  70. Calico
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#67):
    “There’s an angel standing in the sun…”

  71. bats :[
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    @The Ghost of Jarrod (#37): you bet! Still on the ballot, after all these years!

    My ballot is around here somewhere…oh, yeah, here is it…in my pants!

  72. Stroker Ace
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    Waited four years for this morning… wrote in Trots & Bonnie.

  73. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    What’s the over/under for votes on the Roseanne Barr presidential ticket? I’m taking the “over”, in any case…

  74. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @Vince M (#46): Nixon in ’16. He’s tanned, he’s rested, and he’s ready.

  75. sally
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @Virgil (#65):

    With all due respect, and I really mean that, the problem with MF is not that it is conservative. It’s that it is mean-spirited, and worse, not funny.

  76. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    @Fraser (#12): I see what you did. :)

  77. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    @Stev0 (#27): Go ahead, waste your vote!

  78. sally
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @gleeb (#13):

    I don’t see how you can view the Orphans’ Court qualifications more important than the “yes, you do have to resign elected office once you’ve been convicted of a FELONY, for chrissakes” referendum.

  79. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    risking the freefire zone to announce that the QG and I voted.

    very heavy turnout this morning at our polling place.

    back to the other thread, where it’s safe.

  80. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    A view from Scandanavia.

  81. Downpuppy
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    @Virgil (#65): How is pissing me off with nasty, stupid, repetitive crap helping a cause? Sure, I get that “Whatever pisses off liberals” is the easiest way to figure out what the rightwing will do, but WHY that is so is still a puzzler.

  82. 555 95472
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @Virgil (#65): I respectfully disagree. Mallard Fillmore’s remarkable ability to combine both suckiosity and blowviality is not a function of its politics; it’s a function of the artist’s laziness and complete inability to tell a joke. Put another way — if the strip’s politics suddenly changed and it began to obsessively focus on repeating only Democratic talking points ad nauseam, it would still both suck and blow.

  83. Rob
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    #65: “It is not that Mallard Fillmore sucks or blows; the truth is that you simply disagree with its politics.
    “In fact if you are a liberal and hate the comic, it is probably because it is doing something right from a conservative point of view.”

    Not necessarily; I’m a conservative, and find the comic poorly written; today’s comic I strongly dislike because it perpetuates a false myth (the idea that as the tax rate approaches zero, government revenues approach infinity).

    So from a conservative, pro-truth point of view, the comic stinks. From a Lie -> FUD -> Power point of view, it makes sense — but that is hardly “conservative.”

  84. Joshua
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    So who’s running for president this year? Anyone besides Rat and Dagwood?

  85. Mibbitmaker
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#71): “in my pants!” Are you doing a write-in for Geoff Peterson?

    I probably should. I’m just not sure if I should do that in place of Obama/Romney, or Brown/Warren (don’t tell Garry Trudeau!)….

    It would be cool to see a robot skeleton throw beads from the roof of the White House!

    And we wouldn’t have to worry about assassination — He’s already dead!

  86. Notebooked
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#69): Yeah, I know — although I don’t know how I know, since I’ve never seen it — it was just a joke. However, I appreciate the intentions behind your explanation. (Overclarifying all possible tones that could be read into this text much, self…?)

  87. Calico
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Santa Royale With Cheese (#56):

    Genesis with Peter Gabriel!
    Genesis without Peter Gabriel!


    Toxic Taco!

  88. Mibbitmaker
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    A&J, BC: Oh, you poor, presumptuous fools (in the strips, that is)!

    Curtis: Still vastly better commentary than Brooke McE is capable of.

    H&L: Not even Obama or Romney?

    PCity: Four years ago, it was decided for us — by Oprah!

    Prickly City is a far better strip than Mallard. Not necessarily because Stantis occasionally has a liberal view (or does he just hate drones because Obama’s using them?) — he rarely goes liberal where I do — but more because he’d eventually fashioned PC as more of a conservative Bloom County. And with better drawing than early PC strips, too.

  89. Not Just Any Dipstick
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    Does an American leave other Americans on American soil without any defense when under attack? When that American has the entire US military at his disposal? Then does that American watch the attack on a live feed, then walk away and go to bed, doing nothing? So that 7 hours later two more Americans die, on live TV in the White House situation room. Guess who.

  90. Not Just Any Dipstick
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    P.S. The same one that then lied for weeks about what happened. (hint hint).

  91. Inspector Butterflyfish, LFHD
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @555 95472 (#82): Granted, Mallard Fillmore, would suck and blow just as badly if spouted leftistish-sounding gibberish as it does spewing conservitesque-seeming bunkum, but if adopted a hard-line abstentionist republican position with the goal of attaining a free and united Ireland — COMEDY GOLD!

  92. Mibbitmaker
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#87):

    Chevy Chase!
    Bill Murray!
    (Chevy on SNL, Bill on SNL and after)


    Craig Ferguson before Geoff Peterson!
    Craig after Geoff Peterson!
    (“Why can’t I have both?!” — Katina Choovanski)

    (Oops — too contentious for even a 2012 political thread!)

    (love them both, with a sliiiiight preference for Joel (first watched in 1991, liked him on SNL, more bad taste in the Mike era). But, again, 1989-99 was all good!)

  93. Allen
    November 6th, 2012 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    In all seriousness, in regards to voting:

    If you live in Maryland vote *FOR* Marriage equality and fairness

    If you live in Minnesota vote *NO* Don’t limit the freedom to marry

    That’s all from me, good luck to all candidates! And remember to vote Cthulu: Why settle for a lesser evil?

  94. Mibbitmaker
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean pre-1992!
    FW post-1992!
    (Is that even a contest?!)

    SCTV, syndicated!
    SCTV, NBC!
    (slight edge to the former, though I loved the inside-TV material in the Network 90 era)

    Uncle Lumpy!
    (BOTH!!! — though Josh comes first, of course)

    Raymond Luxury-Yacht!
    Throatwarbler Mangrove!

  95. Ian Beste
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    @Stroker Ace (#72): Whoa, deep pull from the NatLamp back issues!
    @Mibbitmaker (#88): Stantis’ art has improved and the strip does try to do something beyond simply illustrating GOP talking points. Still, he hasn’t really invested his characters with much personality. Trudeau’s characters seem more “realistic”, some more than others (Mike and BD, yeah, Uncle Duke, not so much.)
    @Mibbitmaker (#92): I started with Mike, but Joel’s good too.

  96. Ian Beste
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#94): Judean People’s Front!
    People’s Front of Judea!

  97. LP2004
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    @Rob (#83): Thank you! I think you’re the first conservative I’ve ever heard acknowledge that the other half of the Laffer Curve exists (even Arthur Laffer seems blind to it.)

  98. Vanya
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    @Virgil (#65):

    No. It’s a bad strip. It’s simply not funny. It’s just smug and mean, and the “liberals” are simply strawmen/women, projections of deranged wing nut fantasies. Certainly there is left wing “humor” that is just as bad, just as deranged and just as parochial, but it tends to be found in far left fringe magazines like “ZMag”. I actually like conservative humor – I find Evelyn Waugh hilarious. Churchill was brilliant. PJ O’Rourke is funny. “Parks and Recreation” does a very good job of mocking a lot of left wing pretension without being nasty. Limbaugh, on the other hand, is just an idiot, and so is Tinsley. Maybe right wing humor tends to be done well only by “paleocons” – conservatives who have a sense of tradition and wit. Too many modern American conservatives seem to think humor consists merely of sneering and mocking, frat boy style. (This is also the problem with 9CL, btw).

    There. Hopefully that gets the meanness flowing.

    You’re welcome!

  99. Mollyscribbles
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    As a Canadian, I would like to say that all this election coverage has left me with the impression that everyone involved is a nutjob. My main feeling right now is a quiet wish that my country decides to do something to reenact the War of 1812 to mark the anniversary, if only to get people to talk about something else for a change.

    . . . seriously, if the caribou cavalry starts approaching your city, just move out of the way and relax. We’ll give you free health care and legalize everything*.

    *for a given definition of ‘everything’

  100. Ian Beste
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @Vanya (#98): Seconded. Waugh had the advantage of being a good writers as well. O’Rourke is more of a libertarian, but has disowned some of his National Lampoon material. Too many conservatives I’ve met think that being a funny conservative means that they can tell racial and/or sexist jokes because “we all know we’re thinking it, I’m just saying it.” Well, no.

  101. Rev. Susie the Floozie
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    Actually, Mel Lazarus’s joke is based on fact. In the early days of the US, the second presidential runner-up got the Veep’s seat, with the possible result of creating an executive-sized logjam between two powerful former rivals. That’s the way it went until the adoption of the 12th Amendment in 1804.
    And by the way, all politicians blow. Whether the water is salt or fresh, poo floats.

  102. hogenmogen
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    Momma: 12 years ago, SNL did a dual presidency skit as a satire of “The Odd Couple”. SNL’s was well done. Momma, you SUCK.

  103. DAS
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @Inspector Butterflyfish, LFHD (#91): I disagree. Comedy gold would be if the drunken duck was so out of it he become an unreconstructed Jacobite. Yay Bonnie Prince Charlie!

  104. Ian Beste
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @Mollyscribbles (#99): Re-enact War of 1812 battles? please, do! Crazy fact: most of the “British” troops the US fought in Canada during that war were actually Canadians! And you kicked our hineys more than once. Good times.

  105. Inspector Butterflyfish, LFHD
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @Rev. Susie the Floozie (#101): Connie/”Bob” ’98!

  106. Anonymous
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#92):


    Wabbit season!
    Duck season!
    (Elmer season!)

  107. hogenmogen
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    4 years ago on this blog was a lively conversation invloving lots of insults and politics. Today, it’s a resounding “meh.” That’s what a nonstop campaign that cost two billion dollars will get you.

    So, I voted. I’m not much of a fan of either, but, for the record, Romney is a douchebag plutocrat. I’m not even sorry if I offended anyone that doesn’t share my opinion.

  108. Marc
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#74): Well his head did become president again in Futurama.

  109. hogenmogen
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#92):



    Yeah, I get violent about my toothpaste, ok?

  110. Calico
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    Anybody remember the short-lived Parker-Stone comedy “That’s My Bush?”
    I really enjoyed that show – Timothy “Paper Chase” Bottoms played the President.

    I also enjoy Robert Smigel’s “X-Presidents” cartoons.

  111. Calico
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    New England Clam Chowder!
    Manhattan Clam Chowder!

    Anthony Bourdain!
    Mario Batali!

  112. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#107): I agree with you, HM… this year’s thread isn’t nearly as fun as it was 4 years ago. Too much burnout.

    Therefore, I’m going to limit my participation mainly to posting links to Bloom County election episodes, starting with this one:

  113. Johnny Knuckles
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    Occupy White House

  114. hogenmogen
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    @The Ghost of Jarrod (#38): The ’84 Bloom County that I remember is where the cast is looking really, really bummed. They take turns expressing why.

    Polls in… groan… Eighty points.. behind Reagan…. ugh…. Ten points… over Mondale..

  115. hogenmogen
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#111):
    Potato (but pronounced differently)!

  116. Virgil
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @Vanya (#98):

    I disagree there is little in Mallard Fillmore that is not the equivalent in tone than what is found on say The Daily Show. I think many liberals are just not accustomed to taking jabs–satirical humor in this country predominately skews to the left.


  117. Baka Gaijin
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#8): Good one!

    @TheDiva (#31): I’m even further disconnected; I voted almost 2 months ago and I’m half a world away. It’ll be like a non-Lamaze birth: I’ll wake up to a new president without the pain and screaming of Election Night Coverage.

    @Chad Sexington (#34): Bellicose Etsy knitting discussion group? Indeed, everything can be found on the Internet.

    @Mollyscribbles (#99): I agree with your assessment. Nutjobs all around.

  118. hogenmogen
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#110): I loved the Ex-Presidents when they had to let Bill Clinton in. They kept rolling their eyes and groaning when he’d do something like show up in pink spandex.

  119. Nehemiah Scudder, renowned Dickens scholar
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#17): What he said.

  120. Mibbitmaker
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#109): Just don’t knock out anyone’s teeth being violent over toothpaste!
    (This is my main contribution to Fun with Irony)

  121. Nehemiah Scudder, First Prophet
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#67): So where is Nehemiah Scudder campaigning, and when do we get the results from New Jerusalem?

    No need to worry, fellow patriot! I’ve made arrangements with the godly folk at Diebold and their friendly competitors. Just expect a surprise tomorrow morning that Nate Silver never contemplated!

  122. AhClem
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    George Papoon for President! He’s not Insane!
    [Paid for by the National Surrealist Party]

  123. hogenmogen
    November 6th, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @Virgil (#116): More creative people tend to skew left. Actors, musicians, artists, comedians, etc. Yes, I’m saying that there aren’t a lot of right wing comics because Republicans just aren’t funny.

    But about “liberals can’t take a joke”, I loved this one:

    Bill Clinton and George H.W. Bush were doing a golf for charity thing. On the 9th hole, Clinton turned to Bush and said “When I get home, I’m going to rip off my wife’s panties.”

    The elder Bush, ever the statesman, nodded, but otherwise kept his mouth shut.

    On the 14th hole, Clinton again remarked “Yep, first thing I’m going to do as soon as this thing is done is rip my wife’s panties right off.”

    Again, Bush, lacking anything to add, remained silent.

    On the 18th hole, Clinton was almost pedantic. “I’m going to take those panties and chuck them.”

    This time, Bush felt that he had to put a stop to it. “Bill, I really don’t want to hear about your wife’s panties!”

    “But George, they’re riding up my ass, and it’s been bugging me all afternoon!”

  124. Inspector Butterflyfish, LFHD
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]





    “Why not sodapop?”

    “Go ahead — throw your vote away!”

  125. hogenmogen
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Yeah, a doctor saved a patient and it’s news. While he’s posing for the cameras, there’s a squad of EMTs saying “Uh, I saved like, six people last week with chest compressions. Who’s going to give ME a boat?”

  126. Rob
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @LP2004 (#97):

    Yeah, it seems most of the arguments about the Laffer curve involve people who are bad at math. They hear “Tax Cut,” think “more money for me!” and a short circuit takes the place of actually _thinking._

    A 90% top tax rate made sense in the FDR and Eisenhower years, and a tax cut made sense in the JFK years.

    In a _different_ economic situation, it made sense for Reagan to raise taxes, especially since he was expanding government spending (e.g., the 600-ship Navy).

    What does NOT make sense, and is far from conservatism, is to massively expand the size and spending of the Federal government (a la LBJ or GWB) while running expensive overseas wars (like LBJ or GWB again) and then to -cut- taxes and pay for it all on credit (GWB, you didn’t leave soon enough).

  127. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#107): You’re not offending me at all — he is a douchebag plutocrat. That may not be enough to stop a lot of people from voting for him, however. For all I know, you may have even voted for him yourself — it really isn’t my place to question your motives or situation.

    Truth be told, the last 4 years have been very good to me. Business and economic opportunities have been flowing like water in my neck of the woods. I understand, though that it hasn’t been that way for some folks, however. On the other hand, my family hasn’t done well under past conservative administrations, so I guess it kind of evens out in the long run.

    For the record: I’m a Christian, military veteran, Master’s holding, and employed, but I do tend to vote slightly left of center. But I have no horses in this year’s national races — there just aren’t a whole lot of good choices this time around.

  128. commodorejohn
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    I’m writing in for Theodore Roosevelt. Didn’t want Romney when he was in the primaries, don’t want him now.

  129. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#115):



  130. hogenmogen
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    @Virgil (#65): Mallard Fuckmore does suck and does blow. Even when he’s grousing on something that I agree with, like when he makes fun of terrorists or foreign dictators or congress in a general way without mentioning parties, it’s NOT FUNNY. It’s badly drawn. Half the time it’s a duck in front of a tv. Other times it’s even worse, like a line or two of dialogue with a picture of a duck stuck in between. It would be a terrible comic if it went for everyday non-political gags. Infused with politics, it’s even worse. If I were conservative, I’d be embarrassed that this piece of crap is the standard bearer on the comic pages.

    So I don’t hate it because it’s like a piece of Fox News in comic form, I hate it because it’s like a piece of Fox News if Fox News had no budget and was being shot on a webcam in someone’s basement.

  131. sally
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Allen (#93):

    Amen to that, brother. Marriage equality for all.

  132. bbofun
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    @Ian Beste (#104): Well, that’s because the canandian troops were all so polite. They were also funny.
    This comment brought to you by Positive Stereotypes, Inc.- Positive Stereotypes; Just as false, but nicer (like Canadians).

  133. Esther Blodgett
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    I voted, bitches! Now put up or shut up. Democracy is not for pussies.

    I am so pumped up with voting hormones right now, I could bite Anderson Cooper’s head off. BOOYAH!

  134. UncleJeff
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    “Momma”‘s scenario of a divided government is just a little off: there is a small chance that if the presidential election should go to Congress, we would have the chance of a Obama/Ryan or Romney/Biden administration.
    Which reminds me of one of my favorite political stories in which I was personally involved.
    I was a reporter for a radio station in Duluth during the presidential primary of 1976. Then (and current) California Governor Jerry Brown was in town for a campaign appearance.
    California law gave all of the powers of the governor’s office to the lieutenant governor when the governor was out of the state. Because of the state’s weird politics, Brown’s lieutenant governor was a very conservative record company executive named Mike Curb, who delighted in doing partisan things with the governor’s power when Brown was out of the state.
    I was chatting with Brown when he asked if he could use one of the phones in the radio station to do “some state business” (this was before cellphones, kids).
    I took the gentle “Governor Moonbeam” to a vacant office. He thanked me and asked me to close the door so he could have some privacy.
    I closed the door and walked down the hall when I heard a thunderous “CURB! You no-good #$@&@)#$!!!! I’ve had it with your &#@#%!!!” And things got louder and nastier from there.
    About 5 minutes later, Brown emerged from the office and knew I had heard the entire “conversation” because I was about in a puddle from trying to suppress my laughter. He just noddded. Thanked me for use of the phone and left.

  135. Inspector Butterflyfish, LFHD
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#129): POTCHEEN! The key to a better tomorrow is forgetting about today!

  136. Virgil
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#130):

    I disagree. I think the drawing is as good as any other strip. Its humor is not amazing, but not bad enough to draw anger and vitriol–unless, of course, such a response is driven by political leanings.

  137. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#128): That’s kind of the point I’ve been making to my conservative friends (as opposed to my Republican acquaintances, who all send me emails about how leftists like me will be shot during the next Revolution)… “If the only choices we have are crap, then we will be forced to choose crap!”

    Case in point — in 2008, I would have sworn that the GOP had the election all sown up. The DNC was intent on nominating somebody more poised to piss off the opposition rather than be a viable candidate (disclaimer — I voted for Sen. Clinton). All the GOP had to do was choose a moderate conservative. I thought they had done so with Sen. McCain, but he checked his credentials/interests into blind trust to claim the right-wing and Morale Majority, and all hell broke loose.

    This time around, the GOP had it sown up again, “if only”. But NO, they had to go for the “kill shot” — and it just might backfire. Gov. Romney is the best GOP candidate of a pretty sour bunch.

  138. hogenmogen
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Rob (#126):
    I understand the Laffer Curve. The difficulty for most people is pinpointing exactly where we currently are on this curve. When taxes went down 10 years ago, government revenues dropped. To me, this suggests that we’re on the left side of that curve. When a candidate promises all these great initiatives paid for with tax cuts, there is something wrong. That candiate is lying or deluded. Obama, is at least timidly advocating some minor tax increases for a small percent of the population. It won’t help the deficit, but it won’t make a multi-millionaire poor if they pay an extra thousand or two in taxes.

    Not every high wage earner is a “job creator”, by the way. Kowtowing to the rich in hopes that they somehow feel rich enough to hire a maid and a gardener is the definition of a plutocracy. Trickle down didn’t work under Reagan, it didn’t work under Bush II. I hear Republicans rant about “wealth redistribution”, and I agree that it is a bad thing. The last 30 years has been redistributing wealth from the poor and middle class to the upper fraction of a percent.

  139. Sans Sense
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    I just found out that Canadians can’t be elected President. FUCK THE POLICE! I’m voting for Mike Patterson anyway!

    Patterson-Caine, Dope and Strange!

  140. Mibbitmaker
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#134): Slogan: A vote for Romney/Biden is a vote to utterly exhaust Jason Sudakis!
    Brought to you by the Lorne Michaels league to keep cast members on SNL long after they want to leave, formerly the Should’ve Never Let Chevy Go Committee 1976.

    Great story, btw. I remember alot of jokes about both Brown and Curb by Johnny Carson back in the day.

  141. Ian Beste
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#134): That’s my Brown. Saw him several months ago doing a “standup” interview in Burbank in front of an elementary school. He did his pitch for his budget and then took questions from the gaggle of reporters. When one reporter threw out a question that started with “Some people say..” Brown said, “Who said that? You guys?”

  142. Gal Friday
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    The office I work in (Chicago, IL) is 2 floors down from Obama Reelection HQ. Everyday has been a hustle to get to a coffee shop before the campaign workers–who travel in packs–do. Or face a long wait for coffee!

    Whoever wins, I’ll miss the “ObamaKids” that I’ve shared elevators with for many months.

  143. chistery
    November 6th, 2012 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    Sigh…where IS Ms. DocWeasel? Now that was some fun!

  144. Baka Gaijin
    November 6th, 2012 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#133): Are you Margo Magee in real life?

  145. Gringo
    November 6th, 2012 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    Has McElClowney … er, I mean, Thorax instructed us beefwits yet on whom we’re supposed to vote for?

  146. Inkwell
    November 6th, 2012 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    So! Politics! Yup!

    Why is it that Mallard Fillmore is the worst comic in the universe (writing, art, and layout-wise), but Doonesbury is very well done? I’d like to go, “hey, guys, Republicans aren’t all idiots”, but they’d be all like, “oh, yeah, then what’s with the comics page?” and I’d be all like “oh, snap! I done got told!”

  147. Sans Sense
    November 6th, 2012 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    If he does win, I hope he respects the Office and goes by the more formal “Mitthew”…

  148. Patrick
    November 6th, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    People seem to dislike down and dirty campaigns, but from a historical standpoint, this is sissy stuff. There was a time when cane fights were common on the Congressional floor. I say we bring back this proud tradition of beating the crap out of people for the smallest transgression. If anything, it would make CSPAN more watchable.

  149. bats :[
    November 6th, 2012 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#25): we’re going to Denny’s…today starts its movie tie-in with “The Hobbit.” (Don’t judge me! The pumpkin pancakes there are worth French-kissing Gollum for!)

  150. Dood
    November 6th, 2012 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    Elections? Isn’t the world ruled by Margo?

  151. DAS
    November 6th, 2012 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#137): I guess being a biology-type-scientist-person and hence used to thinking in evolutionary terms, I tend to think a wee bit differently about the whole “If the only choices we have are crap, then we will be forced to choose crap!” issue. If the least crappy candidate consistently wins, then there will be strong selection pressure for politicians (who presumably want to win elections) to be less crappy.

    IOW (to bring it back to comics): “we have met the enemy and he is us” doesn’t just apply to the environment environment but also the political environment. Of course it doesn’t help that the media, which is supposed to inform us about candidates, consistently (in the name of “fairness” and “objectivity”) refuses to treat candidates as anything but equally bad. And it doesn’t help that “ambition” cannot be “made to counteract ambition” when people so disdain politics that political ambition is not rewarded so the actual politically ambitious thing to do becomes to be as mediocre as possible. And our collective shallow Aristotleanism of “both sides are equally bad and the truth is always somewhere in between” (even in cases where the debate is “the Earth is flat” vs. “the Earth is round” or the middle cannot even exist because there is in reality a chasm between the sides) coupled with our shallow Platonism of disdain for the life of the polis doesn’t help us produce a better, less feudal democratic republic either.

    But still, I really think we should turn your formulation around — if we vote for less crappy candidates, the candidates we’ll get will be less crappy.

  152. Maggie the Cat
    November 6th, 2012 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#17): Here here!!

  153. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    November 6th, 2012 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    Just came back from voting. Here in Hawaii, we have to show ID to vote. Always have. Now I guess is my chance to say how much I hated Doonesbury’s Jim Crow/Voter ID series. How can it be a common-sense provision in Hawaii and racist voter suppression elsewhere? There’s no possible upside to not having voters identify themselves as if they were cashing a check or getting on an airplane. If voters don’t have ID, that’s a solvable problem. Get them ID. You have their goddamn name and address!

    Mallard Fillmore is poorly-done propaganda.

    Romney is indeed a plutocrat, and if your definition of douchebag includes “a guy who’ll say anything at all to get elected” I see your point. But I feel like with Obama, we’re drifting slowly down the drain, and I fear a recession at least if he’s re-elected. I work for the government, in social services, and there’s no doubt the democrats are better in that regard. Bot the amount of money we’re borrowing, the amount of debt we’re piling up, the government services we’re getting but not paying for, is immoral and obscene. Not that I don’t appreciate my kids and grand kids paying billions in debt service just to keep us more comfortable now. I have little confidence that Romney can find a way to stop this, but I know Obama won’t.

  154. Liam
    November 6th, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    I just came from voting and there were people who didn’t know that you have to be registered to vote.

  155. Marthas Rolling Pin
    November 6th, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    My write-in this evening will be for Ted Forth.

  156. Jasper
    November 6th, 2012 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    Trail for President

    Fists-O-Justice Rule.
    . . . somewhere in the southern part part of DC.

  157. Inkwell
    November 6th, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @Marthas Rolling Pin (#155): Ted’s a good guy, he can relate to the common voter. I’m only afraid that his mildly zany schemes will land this country in another war.

    My vote’s on Margo Magee. Like most jobs, she’ll probably show absolutely no dedication and then drop it when her love interest leaves the picture. But dangit, that’s why I love her.

  158. bats :[
    November 6th, 2012 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @Chad Sexington (#34): heck, your *screenname* makes me smile! :) See?

    @Ian Beste (#63): boy howdy, everything/everyone I’ve read about Wreck-It Ralph has been a definite recommendation!
    I suspect “Twilight” will be following upon its heels with similar glowing words. Yes? No? Maybe?

    @Mibbitmaker (#85): I fear for Geoff’s throwing ability. But if he distracts us with his Liam Neeson impersonation, I don’t think anyone will mind.

    @Anonymous (#106):


    Onion rings!
    Seasoned fries!

  159. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 6th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    Vote for ME!

  160. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 6th, 2012 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @DAS (#151): That’s the kind of intelligent thinking I can fully support, and I suspect will get us both shot when the Revolution (c) comes.

  161. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 6th, 2012 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

  162. StriderGirl
    November 6th, 2012 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @Gladly, the cross-eyed bear (#153): Up here in the Frozen North, we have to show both proper ID and our registration card in order to vote – even in municipal elections. It’s always seemed like just common sense to me too.

    Boy, I’ll be glad when your election is done, one way or the other! In the past few weeks, we’ve hardly heard about anything else on the Canadian news.

  163. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 6th, 2012 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    @StriderGirl (#162): The problem is, some Induhviduals in this country managed to pervert the ID-getting and voter-registration processes along racial and economic lines — and did so for damn near a hundred years. Makes some folks squirelly enough to disdain common sense.

  164. Dr. Weird
    November 6th, 2012 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    Voted today, this year’s polling place was at an apartment complex’s lounge/rumpus room. People who didn’t want to wait their turn for one of the booths were just filling out their ballots on the pool table.

    And just outside the 75 foot no electioneering zone, there was someone holding up a campaign sign and putting it through the spinning motions you’d expect for someone advertising a sub shop.

    Mallard Fillmore has no craft, wit or subtlety or interesting characters whatsoever. If a leftist set out to do a parody of a conservative comic strip showing how awful and unfunny conservatives are, I find it hard to picture how it would differ from Mallard Fillmore.

    November 6th, 2012 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    @555 95472 (#82): if the [Mallard Fillmore's] politics suddenly changed and it began to obsessively focus on repeating only Democratic talking points ad nauseam, it would still both suck and blow.

    It would be La Cucaracha.

  166. bats :[
    November 6th, 2012 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    At least with a plutocrat, we know that we’re talking about dogs. What the hell is Goofy supposed to be?

  167. SF_Reader
    November 6th, 2012 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    @Virgil (#65): Agree – it’s too insipid and juvenile to take seriously.

  168. Sans Sense
    November 6th, 2012 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    Quake over Quisp!

  169. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 6th, 2012 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    Safe Havens — Can we all agree on Jenine Argus for Governor? Or does Bill Hollbrook have some hidden agenda that I’m missing?

  170. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 6th, 2012 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#157):

    If we are going to end up with yet another war, I’d much rather it be the result of some cartoonish Zany Scheme gone horribly wrong than any of the justifications for the past half-dozen or so armed conflicts we have been involved in.

  171. Virgil
    November 6th, 2012 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    @SF_Reader (#167):

    Interesting, I never said it was insipid and juvenile. If you got that out of my post, then you seriously undercut your credibility as a critic of the strip.

  172. Daniel
    November 6th, 2012 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    Keane 2012!

  173. Chaze
    November 6th, 2012 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    I am running for a school board seat on the Mudge party line. If I win I will immediately fire Frazz and and have Caulfield (sheeeesh!) expelled.

    This message was approved by the FireFrazz Coalition.

  174. Chaze
    November 6th, 2012 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    Heading off to vote. I will be writing in: Dagwood Bumstead.

  175. Anonymous
    November 6th, 2012 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    @Virgil (#171): I agree with everything you’ve said. Mallard Fillmore IS an ink-wasting piece of hackwork that contributes nothing helpful to the political discourse.

  176. SF_Reader
    November 6th, 2012 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    @Virgil (#171): I was agreeing with you last comment that you neither hate or love this comic. However from your posts it is pretty clear that you do actually love this comic, which contradicts with your initial assertion. And yes, the way half truth, lies, and instults are tossed around in this comic, it is indeed insipid and juvenile.
    Thank you

  177. Virgil
    November 6th, 2012 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#175):

    That it gets your panties in a knot must be very gratfying to conservatives. I imagine it is what the left feels when someone gets all whiny about liberal slanted strips.

  178. Virgil
    November 6th, 2012 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    Sorry, you don’t get to assign positions or other people’s positions based on assumptions.

  179. LanceThruster
    November 6th, 2012 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball, but
    tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward,
    and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.

    – Kodos gives a speech, “Treehouse of Horror VII”

  180. Mike
    November 6th, 2012 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    @Fraser (#12): Because nothing screams humor like a touch of electoral fraud.

  181. Inkwell
    November 6th, 2012 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#170): Good point. Ted it is!

  182. Baka Gaijin
    November 6th, 2012 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    @LanceThruster (#179): Twirling toward freedom? Interesting. Vedddy interesting.

  183. Carleton Rockwood
    November 6th, 2012 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    No votes for Rat? He is one of few comic characters actually running. I vote for Rat.

  184. 555 95472
    November 6th, 2012 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    @Virgil (#171): Ah, now it’s falling into place. It’s not political at all — as your response to SF Reader makes clear, you’re defending Mallard Fillmore because you don’t understand the concept and/or the practical application of “jokes”!

  185. Midtown
    November 6th, 2012 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#173): And once you’re on the school board, please take a look at the “incompetent deadwood faculty” issue at Westview High.

  186. Virgil
    November 6th, 2012 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    @555 95472 (#184):

    Yes, it is making sense. You don’t have an argument, save ones that are ad hominem. How clever.

  187. Major Huff
    November 6th, 2012 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    Aaaaand, here’s where it gets trolly and shouty. I’m going back to Soapy Tuesday.

  188. Jamus The Bartender
    November 6th, 2012 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    Well, I voted. And if anyone knows anything about me at all, you KNOW who I voted for….
    Here, let me eludicate.

    Neither candidate of either major party has been able to, or will be able to get this country back on track.
    Cassandra Cat will!!

    The Economy: Job Creation: Cat has a twelve step program designed to facilitate job creation to help “improve” security in our nation’s banks, liquor stores, gas stations, department stores, and museums with shiny things.
    The Economy: Balancing The Budget: Cat has a twelve step plan to balance our nation’s budget. One of those plans is making it to the Del Amo Shopping Mall fitting room to make the hand-off to either Sheronda or Melanie, whoever can make it that day.
    Energy Conservation: Cat has a twelve step program designed to steer this country towards a more “greener” energy program. It involves the funding of long hose and funnel manufacturing centers, designed to go hand-in-hand with Cat’s “Share Gasoline With The Neighbors” program.
    Foreign Relations : Cat has a twelve step program designed to finally bring peace to the Middle East. While not giving too much away, it’s safe to say that both sides of the conflict are willing to co-operate….just so long as Cassandra doesn’t release the photos to the papers or major websites.
    “Hi. My name is Cassandra Cat, and I approved this message. Does this dress make me look fat?”

  189. mollificent
    November 6th, 2012 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    @Virgil (#116): Oh, yes, clearly liberals can’t take a joke. (Admittedly, this is a liberal satirist, but he’s indulging in a very clever bit of self-parody that also manages to take a jab at stereotypes ABOUT liberals. Have I mentioned before, ad nauseam, that Roy Zimmerman is a genius?)

  190. Anonymous
    November 6th, 2012 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    @Virgil (#177): I agree totally with your assertion that Mallard Fillmore lacks the satirical bite to so much a lightly bother even the most partisan Democrat.

  191. Gal Friday
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    Can’t wait the campaign tv ads to stop . . . to be immediately replaced by Xmas ads.

  192. Borp
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    @Virgil (#136): “Its humor is not amazing, but not enough to draw anger and vitriol–”
    I think you must have missed the header. This is the Comics Curmudgeon. In which we’re curmudgeonly about comics. Glad to help!
    “Its art is as good as any other comic strip–”
    I’m fine with the art in Mallard Fillmore. I’m not fine with the fact that it’s lazy art. There are seldom backgrounds, few consistent characters, one recurring character who’s often only seen from above the waist. Today’s comic shows a duck with hardly any change in pose or expression. If it was copy-pasted, I wouldn’t notice the difference.
    “Sorry, you don’t get to assign positions based on assumptions.”
    Eh? If you say you neither hate nor love the comic, then consistently come in to defend it — well, defend is probably the wrong word, more confront its detractors with the argument that they’re only upset because they dislike its message — then to think that you like it would be a deduction, not an assumption.

    I can’t get upset about Mallard Fillmore as a comic strip, because I can’t see it as a comic strip any more than I can see Jack Chick’s comics as comic strips. It has no narrative, it tells no story, it has only one character with no characteristics sans to serve as the author’s speaking tube. If it was a weekly column or something similar, I’d probably be fine with it — then the author would have to elaborate on his arguments and ideas. As it is, it’s a bunch of simple images next to stupefyingly simple jokes that boil down complex issues to setup-punchline. Also it seems a bit smug. I don’t know about that though.

  193. Gal Friday
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    Can’t wait for the campaign tv ads to stop . . . to be immediately replaced by Xmas ads.

  194. Borp
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    @Virgil (#186): And sorry, a little addition — isn’t “you don’t have an argument except those that are ad hominem” a leeeeetle hypocritical, since your own argument is “you don’t like it because you can’t accept an opinion other than your own”?

  195. Gal Friday
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    Oops, technical difficulties . . .

  196. Gal Friday
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    Is Mallard Fillmore really worth all this discussion? I like the posts about which strip characters would make good POTUS . . .

  197. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläüts!
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#84):

    Running in the Federation Party: Picard and Riker for President – MAKE IT SO!

  198. Virgil
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#190):

    Your sentence is unclear, but I take it that you mean partisan democrats don’t get upset at Mallard Fillmore’s satire. No doubt, some don’t, but many do. Some who frequent this blog apparently.

  199. Ian Beste
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    @OMEGA SUPREME (#165): Oh, I’ll definitely second that one.
    \@Virgil (#178): Well, there goes over half of this nation’s political invective.

  200. Inkwell
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    @Gal Friday (#196): There’s one day, every 4 years when we can discuss how horrible it is. It only makes sense we’ve got so much pent-up bile.

    On an unrelated note, I voted for the first time in my life today. For some reason I wasn’t expecting to vote on anything other than the presidential election and wasn’t prepared. Now some of my family’s annoyed with me for not voting for any other offices.

  201. mollificent
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#189): P.S. Also, apologies to everyone…I know I haven’t posted about anything comics-related in months, so to suddenly pop back up on the political thread is kinda lame. But it’s mainly because I can never think of comments that are a) clever enough to stand up to the competition ;) or b) haven’t already been thought of by the time I get around to reading the comics…

  202. Virgil
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    @Borp (#192):

    I am we’ll aware of the nature of the. Log, and have come here frequently. I have seen a lot of snarking on strips, but have yet to see genuine anger and vitriol, just exaggerated emotional responses — exaggerated for humorous effect. I assume that is the case, or are posters here really that exercised about Crankshaft? If so, that would be a great irony.

  203. Jamus The Bartender
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan MD: “Teaching CPR? I can do that. As a matter of fact, I know about a half a dozen female test subjects I can practice on before the camera. They’re holding a party for their friend. I’m on my way there right now !!”

    Luann: Well, they’re either gonna become “engaged to be engaged” or Knute is gonna be on the bad end of a dog collar. Which WILL it be?

    Blondie: Huh. He’s really doing it. His look of desperation is sure to turn some voters away, but you gotta admire his stance on the grocery and food service economies. Too bad I already voted today….

    9CL: Hmm….high brows hump one another while the world comes to the edge of salvation or oblivion. This crowd reminds me of Czar Nicholas II and his family before the revolution. I mean, i’m all for fine arts and perverts, but not together.

  204. Virgil
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @Borp (#194):

    Not hypocritical at all. Arguing that satire is not received well by some because it hits a nerve is not an argument ad hominem. If one is going to discuss satire certainly that it upsets some while amuses others is a legitimate topic.

  205. Vanya
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    @Borp (#192): Jack Chick is much, much better than Tinsley. Why? Because Chick is at least sincere and writes with conviction. Tinsley seems to have no purpose other than to “provoke” liberals. He, like many modern “conservatives”, seems to have a very weak sense of his own principle and beliefs – he just knows that if liberals like it, it must be wrong. It’s not even political, it’s more like a Red Sox fan writing a strip with daily jokes about how Yankees fans are stupid.

  206. Ukulele Ike
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    Also, Tinsley enjoys drinking alcohol and then sporting about in his motorcar. A position with which I am in disagreement!

  207. Buck Ripsnort
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    Anybody else vote for the Rabbit to get the Trix? Take that, you damn kids!

  208. 555 95472
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    No, not an ad hominem argument, merely a bit of reportage. I was simply trying to figure out why you were defending this comic so strenuously, and then — Eureka! There it was! You clearly don’t understand it when people are making jokes, as you’ve demonstrated on this thread over and over (and over) again. Hence your continued defense of Mallard Fillmore, a feature which makes statements that — to someone who doesn’t understand the concept of jokes — could conceivably seem joke-like in nature.

    Again, Mallard Fillmore doesn’t suck and blow because of its political bent. It sucks because it’s lazily written. And It blows because the lazy writing is poorly executed.

    (Hmmmm….actually, maybe MF *isn’t* so rare — a lot of comics we snark about here are the same way….)

  209. bbofun
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    @Rev. Susie the Floozie (#101): [Puts pedantic political nerd glasses on- damn! Need to get this prescription updated!] Actually, although you are correct in your post, it still does not explain the MOMA strip, as the Vice President does not even have an office in the White House.[Takes glasses off, takes aspirin for the headache they caused]

  210. Chance
    November 6th, 2012 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    I’m going Obama.

    Obama is better at basketball, has big balls of pure grade-AA steel, cares about the oppressed and underprivileged, and came up from food stamps to being a lawyer, turning down lucrative jobs to help the poor, amazingly to become one of the few black senators, and then mind-bogglingly won the presidency of the United States.

    Romney is the super-rich son of a man who fled from Mexico to live off welfare when he came to the USA. He also once taped a guinea pig to a classmate’s face because he thought the lad was “a sissy,” bought a mom ‘n’ pop corner store just for the thrill of sending their jobs to China (where it became a mama ‘n’ baba corner store), and believes that his magical underwear was sent from the star Kolob to guide him to the White House. Also, what we humans believe to be his hair is a sentient brain-eater named Flurgles.

  211. Calico
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    @Gal Friday (#196):
    God, I love how this thread is becoming Duck related.
    I’m a Dem and even tire of Donnesbury sometimes, but the main reason I don’t like MF is because it really does seem mean-spirited, even cruel at times. For me, it is not so much the “Red” viewpoints of the canard, but the bitterness with which they are usually uttered/delivered.

  212. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    @Gal Friday (#196): This is the one day a year when we can talk about MF without risking the ban-hammer. Of course we’re going to milk it for all its worth!

  213. Calico
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    *Doonesbury, desolée!*

  214. Lenoxus
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    @Chance (#210):

    Also, what we humans believe to be his hair is a sentient brain-eater named Flurgles.


    Flurgles must be starving!

    (Actually I don’t think Romney is unintelligent, though I do oppose him… but it had to be said.)

  215. Calico
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    And what would President Fillmore think of all this…hmmmmmm

  216. Virgil
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    @555 95472 (#208):

    I am not defending the comic; I am defending my position–see my first post today. There is a difference.

    Trust me I understand the nature of this blog and the nature of humor very well. My posts here today was in response to Josh’s invitation because of the day to discuss ideas, perhaps in a serious way–not the usual for the blog. Fret not, once tomorrow comes, I will return to snarking on the comics along with the rest of you in a way that is not controversial.

    Given the day, however, given the license given to us by Josh to discuss and given that a number of posters critiqued severely the comic in question,I felt it was very much in my purview to challenge their critique and suggest it was based on politics rather than usual snarkery. I think the tone of the responses to my comment support the legitimacy of my critique.

    Your statement (Hmmmm….actually, maybe MF *isn’t* so rare — a lot of comics we snark about here are the same way….) further supports my point. It is not very different; yet people’s charged responses in condemning it suggest more than just a commentary on it as a comic. It points to the fact that people’s dislike also stems from a political bias. I do not know why people get upset about me pointing out what seems obvious. Do these same people just expect conservatives to not feel a barb when watching the Daily Show?

  217. Sans Sense
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    Cut out the middleman, VOTE FOR FLURGLES!

  218. bbofun
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    @Gladly, the cross-eyed bear (#153): The major problem with the most recently-created Voter ID laws is, basically, just that- they were recently-created. In some cases, the laws meant (until challenged) that people would have to get ID within just a few weeks of the law being passed in order for them to be eligible. Other laws (until challenged) mean that voters would have to go to central DMV 9r MVA) offices if they didn’t have a driver’s license, to get the non-driver ID. These offices are often open only on weekdays, during working hours, and/or can only be reached (if you have no car) by long bus trips- made longer if you go on Saturday. Plus, the iD’s weren’t free.

    I have no problem with people needing to show ID to vote- it’s just the changing of the rules in battleground states shortly before the election irks me. This wasn’t helped by the declaration by the PA house republican leader stating, on-camera, that they passed “voter ID, which is gonna allow Gov. Romney to win the state of Pennsylvania…”

  219. Ukulele Ike
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    @Lenoxus (#214): I think just a light rinse would be sufficient.

  220. Jackie W.
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

  221. IagoPogo
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    @terrapin (#10): Why, than kew ver’ much! I’d be pleased as punch (& judy) to be yer president!

  222. Ukulele Ike
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    @Chance (#210): Don’t forget the part where prep-school-age Romney and his pals ganged up on the gay kid, held him down on the ground, and forcibly cut his hair. That really bothered me, for some reason.

    Wasn’t too crazy about the dog on the roof of the car stuff, either.

  223. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#201): Not being funny never stops me from trying to make the float. :)

  224. bbofun
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @Virgil (#216): “Your statement (Hmmmm….actually, maybe MF *isn’t* so rare — a lot of comics we snark about here are the same way….) further supports my point. It is not very different; yet people’s charged responses in condemning it suggest more than just a commentary on it as a comic. It points to the fact that people’s dislike also stems from a political bias.”

    Earlier-”I am we’ll aware of the nature of the. Log, and have come here frequently. I have seen a lot of snarking on strips, but have yet to see genuine anger and vitriol, just exaggerated emotional responses — exaggerated for humorous effect. I assume that is the case, or are posters here really that exercised about Crankshaft? If so, that would be a great irony.”

    But, before your first post, the only things said against Mallard was that it sucks and/or blows. That’s no worse than the discourse we have normally about, sat, Brooke McEldowney or Tom Batiuk. Yet- you act like we’re all calling for Bruce Tinsley to be tarred, feathered, drawn, quartered, and then have his entrails put on public display as a lesson for the children.

    We’re really not. We just think he’s abysmal at his job. And yet, he gets to keep doing it, in most cases, in the name of “balance”- that’s the stated reason for many newspapers who carry his strip- balance with “Doonesbury”. Doesn’t seem right, somehow.

  225. Little Octagon
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    Momma just made me think of Barack and Michelle and Mitt and Ann in a “swing state”, if you catch my drift. Hehe. And eww.

  226. Lenoxus
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    Any electoral college fans out there?

    As a swing-stater, I strongly support the disproportionate effect of my vote. As I Pennsylvanian, I resent people in smaller swing states for having an even more disproportionate vote. As a gaming fan, I just think the system is cool; like baseball, it almost seems designed to lend itself to intense analysis.

    But when I’m not wearing any of those hats, I think it’s kind of dumb.

  227. Chance
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#222): Well, everything after the part about his dad being a welfare immigrant from Mexico was made up, obviously, but the guinea pig riff was inspired by both the dog and the haircut stories. As for “some reason” why it should bother you, I think that’s clear. This is a guy who proclaims himself Christian, as does his VP contender, but both are about as bone-dry on Christian compassion as anyone could be – “my job is not to care about those people,” “I’m not concerned with the very poor,” “we’re gonna repeal Obamacare,” etc. Not to mention the cognitive dissonance it must take to call yourself a Christian (which, again, nearly every Republican politician is decidedly not) and a fan of Ayn Rand, atheist and prophet of stand-on-the-little-guy Objectivism. I think if Christ came back he’d just look disgusted at Romney until he cried.

  228. Chance
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    @Sans Sense (#217): Haw haw, thank you for that.

  229. Droopy Says
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder, First Prophet (#121): What surprise? We already know your HOLMES IV rigs elections.

  230. Droopy Says
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    The paradox of Mallard Foulmore is that it bites without having any bite. Care to deny it, Tinsley? I’m standing here tapping my foot impatiently but I don’t hear you denying it!

  231. Ukulele Ike
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    @Chance (#227): “Well, everything after the part about his dad being a welfare immigrant from Mexico was made up….”

    Wait….Flurgles was made up?

  232. Virgil
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#224):

    Check out post number 17 in which the person states how much the strip blows by copying and pasting it many, many times. Then he says, “Thanks Josh, I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.”

    That statement says a great deal. It says that this comment is different from every day good humored snarking. It shows a pent up hostility toward the strip that he finally has the chance to release.

    This does not represent “normal discourse” as you put it. The door was opened.

    I don’t blame that poster for doing it, but then don’t blame me for responding.

  233. mollificent
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#223): Oh, I gave up on the float long ago. I know when I’m licked. ;)

  234. Chance
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#231): It’s a half truth. Flurgles isn’t as sentient as he claims to be.

  235. Vince M
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    @Marthas Rolling Pin (#155): Amen – with liberty and robot monkeys for all!

  236. Zla'od
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    Yes, today the 18th National Congress of the Communist Party of China will select Xi Jinping for elevation to its Politburo Standing Committee. But was Bo Xilai unfairly sidelined? Has the CCP lost touch with its revolutionary ideals? Next March, will Xi Jinping and Wen Jiabao become president and premier, respectively, of the National People’s Congressm as expected, or will other events intervene?

    Remember–your vote counts!!!

  237. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 6th, 2012 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

  238. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 6th, 2012 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#110): Yeah, “That’s My Bush” was pretty good, I thought. I liked it when Cheney told Bush he was fired, and Bush went around sadly, sullenly pouting, picking up souvenirs from his office to carry away.

  239. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 6th, 2012 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    By the way, I’m perfectly neutral on the subject of some comic strip, and I will endlessly debate anybody who says anything bad about it, questioning their motives and taking whatever response they make to that as an ad hominem. And I’m not a T R O L L !!!11!

  240. Sans Sense
    November 6th, 2012 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    @Chance (#234): That has never been a barrier to the Presidency! Flurgles 2012!

  241. endless sky
    November 6th, 2012 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    As if any of this will matter after 12-21-2012….

  242. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 6th, 2012 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    Non Sequitur, which used to be pretty good, has turned into the weak-ass lefty comic strip. I’ll agree that LA CUCARACHA also achieves that as well. Ted Rall sometimes makes me want to hide my face, but he’s gone so far overboard recently, I only get embarrassed when he hits close to one of my own viewpoints, and that’s increasingly rare. Chickweed Lane? Is this week the only time it’s been overtly political recently? I can’t even assign a side to it; it’s like those old Bloom County strips where they were trying to be controversial by saying that all politicians were poopy. Toothless and self-congratulatory all at the same time.

  243. Freemage
    November 6th, 2012 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    @Gladly, the cross-eyed bear (#153):

    The problem with the Voter ID laws is that they are invariably instituted in a way that DOES penalize those least able to meet all the requirements.

    1: IDs are cheap, but they do cost money in most states. They also cost time and effort to get. Many folks below the poverty line simply do not have those resources to call up. The effect here is no different than the Jim Crow poll taxes.

    2: Poor folks move. A LOT. Sometimes it’s for good reasons (you get a job that will be an extra buck an hour, but you need to live someplace that lets you walk/take transit to work); sometimes it’s for bad (evicted/foreclosure). It might even be horrific (you need to move closer to the state penitentiary so that taking your daughter to visit her daddy while he’s doing time for that pot bust doesn’t take four hours of round-trip travel). If you’re on your third address in five years, you might not feel like getting another ID–but if your current ID doesn’t have your new address, no vote for you!

    3: We’re taking our opponents’ word for it that this is the intent of these laws. Most infamous was “we got voter ID laws; that’ll get our state for Romney” (from memory, so exact wording may be off).

    4: It’s addressing a non-problem. Investigations have been done into actual cases of vote fraud (not registration fraud, mind you–actual submit-a-ballot vote fraud). Typically, they come in under 20 fraudulent votes a year in any given state. (The big numbers that you hear? That’s fraud against groups like ACORN, who send out people and say, “Every signature for the registration drive gets you a nickel.” It’s pretty much guaranteed that some of the guys will realize they can get a hell of a lot more signatures if they just make them up themselves. But no actual votes get done with those–if anything, they might skew pre-election polling by overestimating the number of registered voters in specific districts.) If every person who committed actual fraud in, say, 2000, had moved to Florida first, and they’d all voted for Gore, it STILL wouldn’t have affected the closest call in the country that year.

  244. mollificent
    November 6th, 2012 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    @endless sky (#241): I object! If the world ends before I get to see the Les Miserables movie I am going to be EXTREMELY PISSED.

  245. 555 95472
    November 6th, 2012 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#242): Yup, I’ll agree with all of this. La Cucaracha, especially, also sucks and blows.

    Not quite as much as Mallard Fillmore, simply because MF sets such a high standard of lazy sucknitutde, and weak blow-tastic execution. But it’s definitely in the same ballpark — and perhaps, given time, it could give the duck a serious run for his money.

  246. 555 95472
    November 6th, 2012 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#242): 9 Chickweed Lane, of course, is in a universe all its own — a universe where concepts like “suck” and “blow” are insufficient to the task of describing its effect.

  247. I speak Jive
    November 6th, 2012 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#218): Voter ID was put on hold for this election thanks to a court injunction. The poll workers were supposed to ask for ID but weren’t allowed to require it. I was going to refuse to provide my ID on principle, but I ended up getting it out before they asked for it because I figured that was easier than announcing and having to spell my name.
    I did, however, adhere to my sacred moral principle of cancelling out one Republican vote.

  248. Girl Reporter
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    Hey! Anybody remember the peace dividend?


  249. Calico
    November 6th, 2012 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    @Sans Sense (#139):
    I would not mind having Lawrence as President. Not at all.

  250. Miss Othmar
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    @Virgil (#216): Ms. DocWeasel! We were wondering when you’d come back!

  251. 555 95472
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    Virgil: “…people’s charged responses in condemning it suggest more than just a commentary on it as a comic. It points to the fact that people’s dislike also stems from a political bias.”

    Nonsense. Your response to a comic may be dictated by politics, and if so, that’s perfectly fine. Not everyone else’s is. On this site, I think more people actually will react with indignation to lazy comic writing and poor execution than to political arguments.

  252. Droopy Says
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    This is from a letter a retired high school teacher sent me. If it isn’t true, it ought to be; if it is true, it shouldn’t be:

    “For you who worry about democrats versus republicans — relax, here is our real problem: In a University of Texas classroom, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States. It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age. However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president. The class was taking it in and letting her rant, and not many jaws hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating ‘What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?’ Yep, these are the 18-year-olds that are now voting in our elections! They walk among US. Lord — we need more help than we thought we did! “

  253. Sequitur
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    I got to vote. Six times!

    It’s great having a multiple personality disorder.

    Trouble is, I voted three times for each candidate.

    I cancelled myself out.

  254. Girl Reporter
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    I wish the $5.8 billion that was spent on Federal races had been used to pay down the deficit instead of to pour vitriol, half-truths, and douchery through my TV, phone, and mailbox.

  255. Gal Friday
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#200):

    Hey, Inkwell, Calico, and Al of the …, Fair enough! I forgot about Josh’s ban on MF-discussions. So I’ll add: MF is the comics version of a troll.

    And FWIW: haven’t read Doonesbury in forever–tiresome nowadays.

    Inkwell, I know what you mean: here in Chicago, there are what seems like thousands of judges to vote on (whether to retain). This year, I made a concerted effort to look into those races. There’s one judge who’s been arrested for assault–committed in her own courtroom. While that case is being decided she’s still sitting on the bench–amazing. I voted “no” (natch), but am dismayed that she seems to have the necessary percentage to stay around. So I’m now spreading the word to anyone who’ll listen to pay attention to all the races!

  256. Gal Friday
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

    @Zla’od (#236):

    Some amazing stories about this Congress in the NY Times: taxicabs had their window levers removed so that anti-government protesters couldn’t fling out leaflets and such. Known pro-democracy and anti-party-line people are under house arrest until it’s over.

    So, yes, I still get a charge out of voting! Knowing what people endure in other regimes.

  257. Sgt. Stoned
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    MT: Ah, what tact! Don’t beat around the bush, Bill. Just spit out what you gotta say.

    H&L: 60 yrs. ago Pogo ran for president,and 60 yrs. ago American men dressed just like Hi and Thirsty in today’s strip.

    Momma: The Romneys’ room is the one next to the car elevator.

  258. Gal Friday
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#218):

    Yes, thank you–it was the timing of the id laws that potentially disenfranchised voters.

  259. drifter182
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

    Vote Rat early and often.

  260. Gal Friday
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    @drifter182 (#259):

    That punk, Reeky Rat!

  261. Sequitur
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    @drifter182 (#259): As we say in the South, vote rat now! Not later.

  262. Girl Reporter
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    @Gal Friday (#255): One of my favorite voting memories was when I lived in Chicago. It was a primary, and there was a line waiting for the many Democrat booths while the few Republican booths were empty. Then the poll worker who was checking in the arriving voters called out to the poll worker down the table who was doling out the ballots “REPUBLICAN!”. Everyone in line turned at the same time to see what one of those looked like.

  263. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 6th, 2012 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#252): ‘What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?’
    So she probably just read “Macbeth.”

  264. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    I wish they’d stop interrupting the presidential campaigns for these annoying elections every four years.

  265. kahvigirl
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    Maybe I’ve missed it, but I’m surprised not to see any comments about NonSequenter or Prickly City. NS was the subject of Josh’s first Curmudgeon posting and I think that it more than Doonesbury deserves scorn as a smug liberal comic. I don’t usually agree with PC but it definitely has its moments.

  266. Ned Ryerson
    November 6th, 2012 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    I think you should all jump into your Funky Winking Orb and fly back to Comicistan where the Pluggers keep plugging, escpecially the toilets at Wal-Mart. I want leadership that will make it possible for me to fall ass backward into cash and free gifts and tig ol’ bitties a jigglin’ in my face every time I turn around. Yeah, I’m talking about the kid from Zits, uh Jimmy McZits. I know my neighbor cloned himself and his clone grew a moustache and delivers the mail so he can “keep an extra set of eyes” on the neighborhood, so anything is possible, except those kitchen cabinets in Mary Worth. Hey, I’ve got to run out and get some more tinfoil. See you after the apocalypse.

  267. Ukulele Ike
    November 7th, 2012 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    From Wonkette website, 11:20PM:

    Josh F. YES!!!!!

    Oh Josh, Josh….don’t ever change!

  268. Inkwell
    November 7th, 2012 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    I just learned that in my state, you don’t need to present an ID if your religion forbids you to have your photo taken! I need to look into alternate religions, because in my photo I’m sobbing and doing a Funky Smirk. Seriously.

  269. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 7th, 2012 at 12:55 am [Reply]

    Obama wins, Romney loses. I await the inevitable humility and gracious losing from all those Republicans who post on blogs.

  270. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 7th, 2012 at 12:56 am [Reply]

    @kahvigirl (#265): Yeah, you missed it.

  271. bbofun
    November 7th, 2012 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    @Virgil (#232): You may not be aware that Mallard fillmore is (to my knowledge) the ONLY strip which is forbidden to be mentioned of Comics Curmudgeon, due to an incident in which a comment on it devolved into political rancor- a no-no on the site (thus, this thread), Therefore, anyone who feels about Mallard the way we feel about Funky, pibgorn, or 9CL has not been able to post about it here.

    Now, imagine if no one was able to comment on 9 Chickweed Lane for a year. Imagine how frustrated that person would be to not be able to point out it’s obvious inanities- and then is given a chance to post about it for one day.

    Do you really think the response would be that different? If you don’t, you really HAVEN’T read this blog very often.

  272. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    November 7th, 2012 at 1:23 am [Reply]

    @endless sky (#241):

    Um, you do realize that’s complete BS don’t you? Even the Maya’s themselves didn’t believe that; it was just a Hollywood ploy to make money.

    It’s just the Mayan equivalent to our Dec 31th, i.e time for a new calander for the next day.

  273. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    November 7th, 2012 at 1:24 am [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#17):

    This shit fucks up my browser!

  274. Droopy Says
    November 7th, 2012 at 1:27 am [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#272): I knew that. It’s why I laid in a huge stock of fresh Mayan calendars. Come the twenty-second of December I’ll have those Mayans lining up to buy new calendars . . . oh. Well, it’s not the end of the world.

  275. Walker of Dog
    November 7th, 2012 at 1:49 am [Reply]

    @Lenoxus (#226): Even though I’m a map geek, I oppose the Electoral College. But having never lived through a swing-state election, maybe I should be grateful.

    @Miss Othmar (#250): Were we, really?

    Vote Margo 2012: Because She’ll Know If You Don’t

  276. Colonel Kurtz
    November 7th, 2012 at 2:25 am [Reply]


  277. Andrew Leal
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:25 am [Reply]

    Question: Political bent aside, would “Mallard Fillmore” be a better strip if it was called “Rover Cleveland” but still mostly consisted of dead-eyed generic characters or the title character, who mostly just seems to be a mouthpiece, behind a desk? No, no it would not.

    Would it be funny if it involved William Howard Taft and better art? Well, I’d be less anxious to avoid it!

    Also mixed on Doonesbury. It’s grown on me over the years, but my favorite aspects are those that focus on character or even combine it with politics in a way that doesn’t really come off as obnoxious (i.e. Joanie Caucus working for Elizabeth Warren, and this week at least one of her fellow campaign workers comes off pretty badly as a person, intentionally so). I also liked how Joanie had to deal with Alex being overzealous in her excitement, and I’ve enjoyed revisiting the Lacey Davenport strips. (I prefer Honey to Duke, any Jeff storylines are guaranteed to annoy, and Zonker is basically “If Jughead was a pothead.”) And ditto on the “Jim Crow” thing not really working (I have issues with the way some states, including mine in Texas, were so anxious to implement it before this election without care of how and also at a time when they were trying to redistrict to disenfranchise non-whites, but the idea itself I expect will eventually take hold).

    Pogo succeeded, despite its political excursions, because of great art, great characters, a unique world and language… and even then, some of the later strips, with more and less subtle political caricatures (LBJ as a sort of Great Dane in a weird military outfit) and existing characters like Deacon Mushrat (one of my favorites in his prime) became more one-note, an all-purpose villain and ally of the guest caricature (compared to the famous 50s sequence when he finally rebelled against “Simple J. Malarkey,” still the great political creation in the strip and one of the most frightening villains in a “funny” strip, moreso than the Phantom Blot even) and even with great art, it at times near the end forgot to actually be entertaining or even interesting. So there are many reasons Pogo is still considered *the* great writein candidate.

    Also, today due to general incompetence, the El Paso Times failed to include enough ink on the comics page so everything was transparent. But I have grown to enjoy “Pickles.” It actually makes me laugh often, smile when it doesn’t make me laugh, and when it does neither it’s still inoffensive and doesn’t make me rage against it. (So many comics do, so I really haven’t even posted here in over a year, that and schedule and such). That and there’s been waaaaaay too much Marvin (I dislike Mallard Fillmore, but Marvin is worse). Although any Marvin is too much Marvin for me.

  278. Girl Reporter
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:28 am [Reply]

    Greetings From Ohio!

    You may now go back to ignoring us for the next four years. Our bleeding eyes and ringing ears should be about ready for your next onslaught by then.

  279. Squeaky Fromme
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:31 am [Reply]

    Poor Virgil… I think the problem is that Mr. Virgil doesn’t seem to have an actual sense of humor. Anyone who would even begin to defend Mallard Fillmore, the weakest of weak comics, is clearly not getting humor. Perhaps it is a cultural difference. Perhaps Mr Virgil is from Germany, or some other country where they haven’t invented humor yet. Perhaps he is a Vulcan and is incapable of actually getting a joke. Mallard Fillmore doesn’t appear much here at the Comics Curmudgeon because it isn’t even snark worthy. It is incomprehensible to me that the strip is carried by so many papers. It’s no fun at all, nor is it remotely profound, it’s just lame. Lame lame lame lame lame. So I’m worried about Mr. Virgil, as I think maybe he has a tumor or something which is pressing on the humor section of his brain. Let’s all pray for his recovery. Also, I’d like to point out that the real Virgil (as in the Roman Virgil), DID have a sense of humor, and would have found Mallard Fillmore to be thoroughly un-funny.

  280. Preezy Soetoro
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:57 am [Reply]

    Ohio? Bitch, we used you! C’ya in a coupla years – if ever. Just a bump in the road…. like those Benghazi type people!

  281. Mibbitmaker
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:02 am [Reply]

    I’m guessing this thread no longer has any chance to be called a “Mittapost”.

  282. Mallard Fillmore
    November 7th, 2012 at 5:06 am [Reply]

    No, it’s true, Virgil. I actually do suck. Thanks for sticking up for me though, I appreciate the gesture.

  283. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    November 7th, 2012 at 5:35 am [Reply]

    @Girl Reporter (#262): I live in Kansas, and during the 2010 local general elections (not primaries) the elderly poll worker gave me the Philip J. Fry narrowed eyes look and loudly hissed, “Democrat!” I thought she was going to point and make that horrible sound from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Everyone turned to look at me so I laughed, then waved at a couple of ‘em. Red faces all around, especially from the other poll workers. I voted early with a mail in ballot this year.

    The joy of the whole thing is that I never even registered Democrat. I registered Independent (long story) but in 2010, a local initiative was being pushed hard by the county commission, so they “updated the system” to make sure many locals were registered. Someone “accidentally” listed me as Democrat — my commie pinko scum reputation apparently precedes me.

    Punchline: I wasn’t the only one who experienced the joy of the voter registration shenanigans, and so many people were pissed off that the initiative lost by a landslide. It was hilarious.

  284. Dr. Weird
    November 7th, 2012 at 5:37 am [Reply]

    @Girl Reporter (#278):

    How can we ignore Ohio when you continue to produce Funky Winkerbean AND Crankshaft?

  285. Vince M
    November 7th, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#272): In other words, a bunch of Mayans are gonna wake up on December 22 with a massive hangover.

  286. CanuckDownSouth
    November 7th, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    don’t have anything to say about your election (and surely this is a dead thread by now), but *yikes* to the stories about divvying up voters at the primaries. Makes me very, very grateful for the Canuck system of nonpartisan government department that handles voter reg for the election proper with only the parties themselves determining their rules for who gets to join them and how to handle primaries (which happen all the time, can require you to pay dues to participate, and can allow < 18 yr olds if the party decides)

  287. Illustrator Steve
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Lost Forest has been trapped in time where voters went to the polls yesterday to cast their votes for Presidential candidates Harry S. Truman or Thomas Dewey. Early returns show Dewey took Lost Forest by a landslide but I understand Mark Trail is conducting his own investigation into the matter.

  288. Droopy Says
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#287): Of course Trail is investigating. He knows that landslides rarely occur in the well-maintained LoFo wilderness.

  289. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @Andrew Leal (#277): Actually, LBJ was a longhorn. Agnew was a hyena in a military uniform. I revisit those later Pogo strips, always hoping they were more funny than I remember them.

  290. Droopy Says
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    Pluggers want to ask Newsmax why that shocking video didn’t get Obama fired.

  291. LP2004
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    An explicit invitation from Josh to break out the political flamethrowers and the most heated argument ends up being about The Duck? Man, I just don’t know about this place…

  292. Andrew Leal
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    Muffaroo, I should have remembered about LBJ. It just shows that my Agnew recognition abilities aren’t as sharp as they should be.

    Wottasnozzle/Toar in 2016!

  293. sally
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    @mollificent (#189):

    If you haven’t, you should have, and I will second that.

    Another good example:

    There’s also this, which I think of every time I mail a letter:

  294. hogenmogen
    November 7th, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    … And in the end, $6 billion later, we get no change in the Presidency, the same parties control the Senate and the House.

    I feel like posting here the day after the fracas is like when Jimi Hendrix played “The Star Spangled Banner” at Woodstock. He was going to headline on Sunday night, but due to delays, he played for a near empty field full of trash on Monday morning.

  295. LP2004
    November 7th, 2012 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#294): Well, better that the $6 billion ended up in circulation in the economy rather than just sitting in off-shore accounts.

    I’d imagine, though, that there are a lot of contributors to GOP Super-PACs who are now very unhappy about the returns on their investments.

  296. Poteet
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    *crawls very slowly out from a deep hole dug under a giant boulder* It’s somebody else’s turn to be a swing state next time around. Nebraska, I nominate you.

  297. commodorejohn
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    Tragically, T.R. didn’t even place. I just don’t understand it.

  298. Dale
    November 7th, 2012 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    Now that he’s won twice, I hope Obama will tell the military to close Gitmo and this time they’ll do it.

  299. Kirk
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    I knew Obama was going to win. If you wanted to know so badly, you could have asked me three years ago and I would have told you.

    Eight years we have to wait for a new President every single time. Only five incumbents lost in the last century.

    I don’t like Romney, but it’s getting a little boring.

  300. Arabella
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    Do you think we can keep this thread going for four years? No? So I’ll say this about MF while I still can: Although today’s strip (the morning after) is the usual simplistic commentary posing as a “joke”, it is at least somewhat bi-partisan and doesn’t seem quite as mean-spirited as usual. I assume that’s because the strip had to be done weeks ago, with the election outcome unknown. I’m sure we’ll be able to tell when the strip catches up with reality.

  301. TheDiva
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#296): I feel your pain. I long for the golden days of 2004, when Colorado was a given for Bush and we didn’t see a single presidential ad the entire campaign. (There was the usual local crap, of course, but we didn’t have whole commercial blocks of the stupid things.)

  302. Poteet
    November 8th, 2012 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#301): Yes, I read that you Coloradans were also being inundated and felt your pain. Let’s both nominate Nebraska. The Cornhuskers have been off the hook long enough.

  303. Patrick
    November 8th, 2012 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    Because this page is the unofficial “Shit on political comics” page, I don’t like MF or Doonesbury. I dislike soapboxes, especially ones that try to disguise themselves as something else. But for Doonesbury, the one thing I really dislike is the fact that it suffers from sameface syndrome. All the characters seem to have the same half-open eyelids with dark shadows under the eyes and the same agape maws that just hang there. I don’t know if there is anyone here who reads webcomics, but Trudeau’s facial expressions remind me of slightly better versions of “Ctrl+Alt+Del” infamous Buckley face. I imagine the real reason Trudeau draws the presidents as symbols is because if he didn’t, they’d all look like Mike Doonesbury.

  304. Rev. Susie the Floozie
    November 8th, 2012 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    @Vanya (#205): Hey! Chick tracts attract CHICKS!

  305. Dale
    November 8th, 2012 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    @Patrick (#303):

    I, too, don’t like either one. I read them because they’re there (in my paper).
    When MF isn’t just making shit up, he makes some fair points.
    Doonesbury is a problem because I can’t identify the characters. They don’t all look the same; but I couldn’t tell you who any one is, how he’s related to anyone else, or what he does.

  306. Chief O'Hara
    November 10th, 2012 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    One surmises that elections are bound to be unsatisfying as long as voters can choose candidates just like themselves. Therefore, the electorate are hereby prohibited from voting for candidates of their own gender, race, or sexual proclivity. That should add excitement to the American system by promoting the hispanic lesbian sheriff of Dallas Texas to the White House.

  307. Pedantic
    November 10th, 2012 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    @Chief O’Hara (#306): “the electorate are hereby prohibited from voting for candidates of their own gender, race, or sexual proclivity.”

    A strict following of the rule would mean that if a Hispanic lesbian sheriff was running for office, that means that if you were a woman OR Hispanic OR gay then you couldn’t vote for the Hispanic lesbian sheriff, meaning well over half of the electorate couldn’t vote for her. Either the law would have to swap out “or” for “and” or candidates would have to be strategically chosen to belong to the smallest racial and sexual demographics in the country to ensure the maximum number of votes. So you’d need like intersex asexual Pacific Islanders or something.

  308. Chief O\'Hara
    November 10th, 2012 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    Aye, you’re right, Pedantic. Still, one likes the idea of discouraging people from voting for carbon copies of themselves.

  309. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 7th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Mommy, make Santa Claus stop giving me the “Liberals are full of shit” look!

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