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Metapost: Fun Josh times COTW!

Your comment of the week shortly, but first: don’t forget that I will be reading in New York on Tuesday and doing comedy in Baltimore on Saturday the 8th, so you should be coming to one or both of those things. But will I be funnier than this week’s COTW? Enh, probably not!

“To save time, ‘How dare you?’ should be printed on Margo’s business cards.” –Pozzo

I might just barely edge out these hilarious runners up:

“I’m sorry Jim, but your incestuous feelings for your dead sister are getting in the way of my incestuous feelings for my living father.” –liam

“Evan is pretty sassy for someone who appears to have coordinated his outfit so as to best blend in with the oddly-colored walls and furniture. Maybe it’s his defense mechanism: he planned for this epic Margo confrontation with all the cunning of a chameleon.” –Marzipan

Stop acting like you own this agency! Just go out there and sell some real estate! … We don’t sell real estate? You’re wearing a Century 21 jacket. I just figured … So, who were these clients that you were trolling for?” –hogenmogen

“Petey Parker asks what’s going on. What’s going on is the start of Kraven the Hunter, After Dark!” –Baka Gaijin

“I must admit, Dawn’s psycho friend Jim has gestured more with his one remaining arm these past few weeks than I have with TWO arms and nearly fifty years of living. Granted, they have almost ALL been ‘I’m going to KILL you!’ gestures, but still, way to cope with your recent disability, Jim!” –mojo

“I don’t know about the students’ perspective, but I know from the teaching side of things that if my class includes Peppermint Patty, Betty Cooper, and that Russian boxer from Rocky IV, then I sure as hell don’t need to worry about my Super Ego.” –Bud

“I love the fact that Crankshaft, Decrepit Lord of All Things Unpleasant, actually seems depressed by Rose’s ranting. It’s like he’s trying to work up the willpower to die so he won’t have to hear it.” –Inkewell

Does he bring me a strategy? No, he just brings me jewelry. Have you thought about that, son? Why not get your friends matching necklaces and earrings? And maybe some nice pink cashmere turtlenecks. I got this the last time your father ‘messed up.’” –Christopher

“When your dad messes up, he doesn’t bring me a strategy. He bring the ruckus. And he brings it all night long. Have fun in therapy, son!” –Chareth Cutestory

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89 responses to “Metapost: Fun Josh times COTW!”

  1. Ed Dravecjy
    November 30th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to Pozzo and all the funny folks on the float!

  2. Poteet
    November 30th, 2012 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    Hail, Pozzo, and hail, hilarious runners of the up! A good week.

  3. Marzipan
    November 30th, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    “tied up trolling for some clients”

    I just realized how fascinating a choice of words this is. Frankly it feels a little bit…submissive male prostitute – ish. but I like the active verbs he uses, he’s definitely attended a spice-up-your-resume class! I’m also impressed: he’s both tied up AND trolling, simultaneously, while I don’t exactly know what that entails, it seems like it’d be pretty difficult.

  4. Liam
    November 30th, 2012 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    Damn! Two weeks in a row and they are both Mary Worth related. I must have been at work when I made this comment because I didn’t capitalize my first name like I normally do.

  5. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 30th, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#y141): It always struck me as a hoot that Scott Adams of Dilbert had an AOL email address for many years. I see he’s gone over to Gmail now, though.

  6. Horace Broon
    November 30th, 2012 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to all!

  7. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 30th, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#Y121): I propose we take a strip a week (not just Archie) and put new dialogue in, sort of like the NY caption thing. Winner gets to clean up after the Charterstone pool parties.
    This could lead to some really surreal stuff!

    Splendid idea!

    // Mickey Rooney & Judy Garland simultaneously: Hey kids, let’s put on a show!

  8. One-Armed Jim
    November 30th, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    I wasn’t chosen for COTW?

    IT’S BECAUSE I HAVE ONE ARM, ISN’T IT????!!!!!

  9. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 30th, 2012 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#5): Inferring from some of the comments in his books, it simply took that long to wade through the red-tape to close his AOL account.

  10. Liam
    November 30th, 2012 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    @One-Armed Jim (#8):

    It’s not you, Jim. It’s Josh. He just isn’t ready for a regular COTW commenter at the moment. He wants to try out lots of different commenters.

  11. Stroker Ace
    November 30th, 2012 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    Meh. One hand clapping.

  12. Shrug, Two Arms Good, One Arm Bad
    November 30th, 2012 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#10):

    Also, Josh is a bit creeped out ever since he realized that he looks exactly like your sister.

    Frankly, we’re all a bit creeped out also. Though I think the resemblance is superficial; it’s mostly just the beard.

  13. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 30th, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    New Archie dialog! Mr. Andrews educates Archie in the classics! The Most Tragical Tragedy that ever was Tragedized by any Company of Tragedians. I give you: Chrononhotonthologos.

    // Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

  14. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 30th, 2012 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    And, lest I forget, congrats to mighty Pozzo, and his merry krewe.

    …bid all the priests prepare their temples
    For rites of triumph, let the singing singers,
    With vocal voices, most vociferous,
    In sweet vociferation, out vociferize
    Even sound itself.

  15. bats :[
    November 30th, 2012 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    Oh my gosh! All — so funny! (Although I suspect Jim would’ve gotten COTW, particularly if he had entered! You see, Jim, you have to grab for all the gusto, just like Dawn does. Granted, this might be a little challenging since you only. have. one. hand.)

  16. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 30th, 2012 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#y45): Puppy hammock—yay!

    @Snarkotix Addict (#y126): No kidding. I don’t know why, but today’s strip just sets me off. Why can’t these people just look the fuck at each other? Why must they twirl around, circling each other like the world’s blandest Death-Match fighters? Is there some kind of weird inter-personal magnetic force that would make them repel each other if they faced, sending each person into the opposite oddly colored wall? Does Frank Bolle have some kind of doggy-style, buttsex, proctological obsession, a desire that he cannot fulfill in real life, so he expresses his frustrated fascination by rendering everyone in the strip as if one was about to say to the other, “Now, turn your head and cough”? If so, then Mrs. Bolle, for the love of god, take one for the team and give Frankie what he wants so these characters can just. stand. still.

  17. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 30th, 2012 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    Oh, yeah, and: Congrats, float-folk!

  18. Baka Gaijin
    November 30th, 2012 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    Woo hoo! I’m on the float! Enjoy the handfuls of Cadbury chocolates I’m throwing!

  19. Hibbleton
    November 30th, 2012 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to all the floaters and especially mojo. His comment gave me a good laugh.

  20. pastordan, snark late shift
    November 30th, 2012 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#7): It’s called détournment, and as a bonus, it comes straight out of French left-wing philosophy.

    Who’s got your Gauloises? ^^^^ This guy!

  21. Baka Gaijin
    November 30th, 2012 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    I got so excited to see myself on the list I forgot to write that I knew either Pozzo or liam’s comment would be at the top of the list when I read them originally.

  22. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 30th, 2012 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    Congrats, floaters!

  23. Calico
    November 30th, 2012 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    Charterstone deluxe recipe for nachos and dip
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKxhI4I5kq8&feature=player_embedded

  24. Peanut Gallery
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#20): Indeed. And while it must be admitted that The Return of the Durutti Column (not to be confused with The Return of the Durutti Column) is really more of a fumetti than a comic strip, I think that as curmudgeons we can all relate to the court’s opinion of it:

    “…their minds confused by ill-digested philosophical, social, political and economic theories, and perplexed by the drab monotony of their everyday life, [they] make the empty, arrogant, and pathetic claim to pass definitive judgments, sinking to outright abuse…”

    Just doin’ our job!

  25. tb4000
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Fanservice coupled with cancer. Batiuk, this is how you do it.

  26. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to Pozzo and the rest of the float folk. I actually got a case of the LOLs from Chareth Cutestory’s Thorp comment this mornng, so I’m glad to see it here.

  27. Poteet
    December 1st, 2012 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    CRANKSHAFT — Y’know, Crank, there are small but thriving businesses now that churn out many kinds of edible holiday decorations specifically intended to be hung outside for birds and squirrels. I’ve seen birdseed-and-dried-fruit wreaths, suet wreaths, peanut wreaths, popcorn wreaths, wire bells filled with various kinds of nuts, small angels encrusted with sunflower seeds, etc. But if you want to just hang a big regular Christmas wreath on your feeder, go for it. You should probably be prepared to see it encrusted with bird droppings within a week, however, if your birds are anything like mine.

  28. Poteet
    December 1st, 2012 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    MW — So she’s going to a bar? A pier? A chapel? A wake? A GAME OF THRONES marathon? What?

  29. Poteet
    December 1st, 2012 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#28): An orgy?

  30. Poteet
    December 1st, 2012 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    MT — If any sharks are injured or killed in the ensuing developments of this unusually stupid story, I am going to be very pissed off.

  31. Poteet
    December 1st, 2012 at 12:38 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#29): Maybe she’ll firebomb his apartment?

  32. Poteet
    December 1st, 2012 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#31): Run him over with her car?

  33. Poteet
    December 1st, 2012 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#32): Oh God, she’s going to go visit Mary and eat something horrible and pasty-white, isn’t she.

  34. Droopy Says
    December 1st, 2012 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    Spiderbland: So both Jameson and Stage Manager Guy have forgot that they arranged for Parker to work slack around. I don’t hold that against them, as not even the characters can find the events of their lives memorable. In a real story this disruption would have consequences that lead to action and move the plot along. Here, it’s just filler until something else doesn’t happen.

    Mock Trail: I grow ever more convinced that it’s Otto who will fall in the water, only to be rescued by Trail. First, nothing is happening, which is a good indication of impending goofery. Next, Trail is standing on his tiny feet, holding nothing but a fishing rod hooked to an invisible tarpon, while Otto has a firm grip on the controls. It’s like Gomez Adams had scripted a Fifties school-safety film.

    Pluggers: Verges on being NSFBG, stays comfortably away from humor.

    Phantom: You should have brought Guran along, Ghost-Who-Risks-Becoming-A-Ghost. You can out run him . . . can’t you?

  35. Droopy Says
    December 1st, 2012 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#30): Do sharks get food poisoning? Can their teeth break on something as thick and dense as Trail’s skull? Can they die laughing? Those are the only risks I see, and in Mark Trail the first two are a real stretch.

  36. Sequitur
    December 1st, 2012 at 12:47 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#28): Since she already got to see the one-handed can crushing competition, she now will top off her day by attending a one-legged ass kicking contest.

  37. Poteet
    December 1st, 2012 at 12:51 am [Reply]

    S-M — And I admire that blonde ‘do, which is right out of STAR TREK.

  38. Poteet
    December 1st, 2012 at 12:56 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#35): @Sequitur (#36): BWAHAHA! Staying up late has its perks.

  39. Chareth Cutestory
    December 1st, 2012 at 12:57 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#26): Thanks! See, I’ve cracked the JFruh comedy codex. Any mention of parents getting it on, and vigorously at that, and you’re a COTW walk-on.

  40. Droopy Says
    December 1st, 2012 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#38): Then there’s the hope that a shark will bite off one of Otto’s arms, with consequences that could lead to anything–a raging temper and latent necrophilia. An urge to get in people’s faces with his missing arm. A vengeful insanity that makes Otto frame Trail for Cherry’s murder, turning Trail and the Fists o’ Justice into fugitives from justice, doing nothing as he travels the world . . . nah. Otto will just steal the only safety pin on the impoverished Little Island, leaving unseen babies with no means to wear their diapers in safety.

  41. Inkwell
    December 1st, 2012 at 1:19 am [Reply]

    T-the runners up! …That’s my username listed, isn’t it? With my comment…? I feel so honored!

    …WHICH OF YOU WISE GUYS STOLE MY IDENTITY?

  42. Baka Gaijin
    December 1st, 2012 at 1:47 am [Reply]

    Saturday’s Comics

    Don’t look now but Casino Janitor-Manager is going to get lucky with J. Jonah Jameson whether he want to or not.

    Good parenting there Wilbur. Completely ignore your daughter’s constant mooning about the tiny apartment for weeks yet know the intimate details of the impending Twinkie-pocalypse.

    Which is more scary: seeing Curtis’ dad’s naked butt or that closeup of Wilbur Weston?

  43. Dale
    December 1st, 2012 at 2:56 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL, an experienced outdoorsman, wears an invisible life jacket so he will still look manly.

    Mark stands up to fight a fish that outweighs him.

    Mark knows that if he punches a shark in the nose, it will leave him alone (with his arm in its mouth).

    All good lessons for the kiddies and stupid of mind.

  44. Mr. O'Malley
    December 1st, 2012 at 7:09 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#43): In Terry Pratchett’s Nation he explains a magic spell to drive sharks away.

    We were listening to the audiobook on a cross-country drive, but unfortunately it stopped working 2/3 of the way through, so we never did find out how it ended. I must get back to that some time, because it was very entertaining. BBC 4 Extra has a version that comes up now and then.

    We switched over to The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay for the rest of the trip.

  45. lynn
    December 1st, 2012 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#30): Great opportunity for a MT/Sherman’s Lagoon crossover!

  46. lynn
    December 1st, 2012 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#32): I’d go with the car. It’s so emotionally satisfying to see the look of panic on their faces while you chase them down.
    //heck hath no fury…

  47. lynn
    December 1st, 2012 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#39): Oh, yow, definitely more information about Josh’s psyche than I wanted to know.
    //”Josh’s Psyche”, also a great band name.

  48. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 1st, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    MW – “Several weeks later”? So, he has already been not-friend for several times longer than the approximately one week you guys spent as acqaintances. And you feel the need to go off and mourn the loss of your “friend”?

    Dawn either has serious attachment issues, or a serious drinking problem that she still feels the need to make excuses for, or, best case, she just wants to get away from Wilbur for a while.

  49. lynn
    December 1st, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Just out of curiosity, as I know we have some techno-nerds here, what are ‘people’ like Betsy, Lydia and Heloise getting out of this kind of spam? I didn’t click on their links, but judging from what I get on my own site, they tend to look like URL farms. Is this some kind of SEO tactic?

  50. bats :[
    December 1st, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#33): while Wilbur thinks: *sigh*…looks like ANOTHER Italian getaway vacation and cruise…ooooh, Sergeant Resculini….”

  51. lynn
    December 1st, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    For example, does June pass the Turing test?

  52. bats :[
    December 1st, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#33): always that possibility, but I’m looking at dear ol’ Dad to come through with his usual remarkable insight…

  53. BigDave
    December 1st, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy – Wait – the male villain, who looks like The Penguin, has a brother named Oswald that has trouble with costumed crime fighters? So first we had a Gasoline Alley crossover, and now Batman?

  54. gleeb
    December 1st, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    Curtis: So, where is Greg’s ink? I’m guessing foreskin.

    ‘bean: Ah, the point finally becomes clear. Batiuk is pissed at the USPS. Probably didn’t get his Clueless Jerk Quarterly in what he considers a timely manner.

    Bunny Hoest’s No Exit: “Yes, dear, I know. I’m sitting right next to you.”

    Mary: Sure, she’s probably just going out to get loaded, but Wally is alarmed. What if she decides to feed her hunger for friendship with delicious sandwiches? And he missed getting his share? Life is brutal!

    Baldo: If this doesn’t end up a couple of months from now with Cruz cheating with a carpet sweeper, I for one will be disappointed.

    Dick: Dammit, this is not getting me any closer to the Moon!

    Non Sequitur: Magritte did it better.

  55. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 1st, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    9CL: I like this. well done, Brooke.

    JS: ROFL!!! (waa-saaaaaaaaaaaa-bi)

    Luann: ok, bats ;[, how did you get Yahoo to print your version of Luann today? or was it some other ‘mudge. anyone? Bueller?

    SBp: that, that might work!

    Bizarro: unseen behind the scenes of the Family Circus.

    Pluggers: NSFBG?

    RwO: *golf clap*

    SFx: guest-written by Mutts? also, d’awwwwwwwwww*sniffle* forebber home.

    Retail: nice! I lol’d.

  56. TheDiva
    December 1st, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    FW: Wait, I’m confused. Are we supposed to be happy or sad that Crazy Harry got unceremoniously dumped from the job he was terrible at?

    Luann: Wow, Luann turned into a hardcore porno so gradually I didn’t even notice.

    MW: Great, now he’s going to have to capsize another cruise ship…

  57. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 1st, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    just like that book by Nabokov.

    determined beagle.

    big kitteh tummyrubz.

    meanwhile, in Sherman’s Lagoon. (or possibly MT.)

    tasty cosplay. (pg-13ish)

    how to improve couch art.

    sharing is corgi.

    my thoughts on the ‘mudges.

  58. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 1st, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#57): usually, it’s Bizarro doing the Magritte riffs.

  59. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 1st, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#39): have you any idea how many times I’ve mentioned that in ref to the Duncans, Forths and Days?

    *forever floatless*

  60. Liam
    December 1st, 2012 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    MW-Did she kill another friend and bury them in a shallow grave again?

    RMMD-What will Rex do for an encore? Will he make the blind see, lame men walk, turn water into wine?

    MT-Otto likes the way Mark is handling that fishing rod. He wishes someone would handle his rod like that.

    FC-Let’s see. Generic brand skateboard. Check. Generic brand robot that turns into a vehicle. Check. Generic brand flying disc. Check. Generic brand doll. Check. Generic brand automobile. Check.

  61. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 1st, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @lynn (#54):

    For example, does June pass the Turing test?

    No, but she’s hot in those Saran-Wrap bikinis, so we tend to cut her some slack.

    Oh, wait…

    Yes, this kind of spam is typically URL-farming. Notice that “June” has her own website! (You send your blog/website link to Yahoo! news for them to evaluate. Sometimes they’ll go for it, more often not.)

  62. This Guy
    December 1st, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    H&L: Three shoppers trample Hi Black Friday style. Guess they ran out of money to hire extras.

    xkcd: I hope Tom Batiuk reads this, and I hope he feels INFINITE FUCKING SHAME.

  63. Inkwell
    December 1st, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    (A late congratulations to all the funny commenters. :D)

    Does anyone else think Funky is turning into Crankshaft? I posed the theory earlier this week, but I swear the dude got more unhinged and disjointed in under 7 days.

    I like how Crazy goes from sympathetic to idiotic in a couple of days. It’s like Batuik was just wrapping up the storyline when suddenly he thought, “what the hell am I doing? Screw the USPS!”

  64. Liam
    December 1st, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    Archie-Archie the hoarding years.

  65. Sequitur
    December 1st, 2012 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    I may be moronic but I don’t get today’s Ziggy. Is the squirrel trying to get Ziggy to believe that he’s Rocky? Or Bullwinkle? Is he trying to use celebrity status to get free stuff? If the squirrel wants to do that he should say that he’s Sam Driver.

    //Why am I obsessing over Ziggy? Let it go.

  66. seismic-2
    December 1st, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    FW: I suppose it was inevitable that after wallowing in so much miasma for so long, Batiuk would eventually snap and go postal on us. Next week – Wally Winkerbean buys a rifle with a sniper scope and then climbs the Westview water tower.

  67. Lenoxus
    December 1st, 2012 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    Hmm, I may as well ask here. Can anyone explain what the Gil Thorp Irish kid did wrong? (I don’t think it was covered by Josh.)

  68. Uncle Lumpy
    December 1st, 2012 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    @Lenoxus (#67):

    Can anyone explain what the Gil Thorp Irish kid did wrong?

    He hot-dogged. We will not speak of this again.

  69. Uncle Lumpy
    December 1st, 2012 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    In other news, gaaaah! — a truly epic volume of spam last night. Seriously, you people want some Ugg boots, you are not bereft of opportunities to purchase them! Also: “Fastidious content! I have bookmarked your guestbook!”

  70. Not Greg Evans
    December 1st, 2012 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    Tank McNamara: RIP Jeff Millar

  71. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 1st, 2012 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    Baby Blues — You see, Hammie, when a boy dog and a girl dog love each other very, very much…

    http://www.seattlepi.com/comics-and-games/fun/Baby_Blues/2012-12-01/

  72. Sequitur
    December 1st, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#71): They were probably dog sumo wrestlers.

  73. groddeck
    December 1st, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    I’m feeling pretty obtuse. Could someone explain today’s Bizarro?

  74. Will
    December 1st, 2012 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    FW: Batiuk’s never heard of Express Mail, I guess.
    PBS: I like this idea. Scrod.
    A3G: Well, I’ll say this for Greg, he’s smarter than Margo. Not that that appears to be a very high bar to surpass.

  75. This Guy
    December 1st, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @groddeck (#73): It befuddled me too, until I noticed that the adult was wearing one of those plastic glove/poop-bag things that dog owners use. Not being a dog owner, I guess I wasn’t primed to look for that.

    Speaking of not getting today’s comics, Frazz talked about “amnesty week” at the local library, which I learned is a week when patrons can return items and not face overdue fines. My library has never done this in over 20 years, as far as I know. Also, the little bastard (I know, they all are) is stealing books and giving them to the wrong libraries.

  76. KreatureFeatures
    December 1st, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @groddeck (#73): I think the only joke in today’s strip is the plastic glove on the father’s hand. If he has the kid leashed like a dog, he must have to clean up droppings like a dog. Hahaha … gross. Not really funny. The Pie State shirt draws your attention, but that’s just a not-so-subtle was of presenting on of the omnipresent Bizarro symbols (today’s include an upside down bird and an eyeball).

  77. KreatureFeatures
    December 1st, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#76): should say “way of presenting one of the omnipresent ….”

  78. groddeck
    December 1st, 2012 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    KreatureFeatures and This Guy: Thanks! I thought the glove was central but didn’t identify its purpose.

  79. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    December 1st, 2012 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    MW: Dawn is heading for the pier. One-armed Jim will be there, Dawn’s encouragement having helped him get over his phobia. They will share 3/4 of an embrace.

  80. Baka Gaijin
    December 1st, 2012 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#59): I’ve been on the float a few times. It’s a mystery to me. I’m not so clever.

    @Uncle Lumpy (#69): Our traditional Christmas spam arrived a little early, eh?

  81. tallyHO
    December 1st, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#68):

    He hot-dogged.

    Duh-aaaaaaaaaaamn!

    From what I’ve heard, that isn’t tolerated in comic strips. In fact, in the funny pages there are enforcers like Marmaduke, Dagwood Bumstead and Wilbur Wilbomunch who swiftly mete out punishments for such behavior.

    I just pray that Archie Archiekins’ dog, Hotdog, wasn’t involved in this sorted mess. After all, it bears mentioning that dog does have a history of being involved in stunts like that.

    Hot dogging, indeed!
    Haaaaarumph!

  82. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 1st, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#75): Not necessarily. Maybe the guy in today’s Bizarro is studying to be a proctologist. (And he’s using the kid for practice…)

  83. Calico
    December 1st, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @groddeck (#78):
    I hate those child reins/harnesses – how humiliating. Ugh.
    Although, they might work for Dawn Weston – I don’t care how much she is humiliated. They might save her when she throws herself off the pier.

  84. Calico
    December 1st, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#69):
    Jim doesn’t want to mark Dawn’s guestbook anymore. How sad.

  85. Chrononhotonthologos
    December 1st, 2012 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Détournment, if you will.

  86. Liam
    December 1st, 2012 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    MW-Wilbur is so stunned that his presence is being acknowledged that he has forgotten his line in the last panel.

    MW 2-”That’s nice. Bring back mayonnaise.”

    Blondie-Some women withhold sex from their husbands all Blondie has to do is withhold food.

    Bizarro-That’s disgusting. That guy will actually let his kid take a dump on the sidewalk.

    JP-”I want to kill my wife and sleep with my father. I think that’s how the Mr. Ed Syndrome works.”

  87. Little Guy
    December 1st, 2012 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    ASM: Tomorrow, J^3 and the Manager berate Peter for not taking pictures of Kraken and Spidey while pushing his janitor broom.

    Curtis: Greg is now punishing Curtis by farting on him.

  88. Sequitur
    December 1st, 2012 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#82): Heh. Drive up, street side proctologist. Now that’s funny.

  89. Pozzo
    December 1st, 2012 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    Two CotW’s in the past two months? You guys are gonna give me big head (and I already wear a 7 3/4 hat).

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