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Quickies from Friday that would have run on Friday, except the King Features servers were down, so here they are today

Judge Parker, 5/30/08

“A virus called … reefer madness! How could we resist, when it sold like hotcakes?”

Spider-Man, 5/30/08

Uh-oh! The last time a guy with a mustache like that bellowed “This means war!”, the world was in a heap o’ trouble, for about six years or so.

43 responses to “Quickies from Friday that would have run on Friday, except the King Features servers were down, so here they are today”

  1. Comixchick
    June 1st, 2008 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    Actually, I believe the original mustachioed fellow yelled “Ich mach Krieg!!!” Sounds much fiercer in the original Deutsch.

  2. Vakar
    June 1st, 2008 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    Come on, Elvira, MRSA isn’t a virus! Repeat after me: bac-ter-i-a, bacteria. Get it right!

  3. Ethan Shuster
    June 1st, 2008 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    And so, the great saga of “Spider-Man vs. The Media” continues!

  4. Rusty
    June 1st, 2008 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    Luckily for us all, I have been hanging on to my pithy comments since Friday. But not for these two strips. Meh.

  5. yellojkt
    June 1st, 2008 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    But JJJ doesn’t look a thing like George Bush and we’ve only been in Iraq five years.



  6. Bitter Scribe
    June 1st, 2008 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    Jonah Jameson’s hostility to Spider-Man is the most baffling, pointless animosity to be found in all the world’s comics.

  7. Snicker
    June 1st, 2008 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    I love just how hip the prisons are in the JP Universe, what with the lowercase “i” on prison uniforms and all. If they shorten it to “iNM8″ they’ll be all set!

  8. blurg
    June 1st, 2008 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    Is JJJ supposed to be taken seriously, though? So far, he’s been a goofball in every moving-picture interpretation. He’s the Annoying Boss stereotype, and Annoying Boss stereotypes hate Main Characters for no reason, to make them more relatable to Average Readers Who Work For Annoying Bosses.

    I wish the Sunday Spidey was being displayed here. Now Vulture says he WANTS Spider-Man to appear, so he can “get revenge.” Mere strips ago he was in rapture over how easy it is to rob rich people now. Why’d he suddenly change his mind when things were going so well for him, and Spidey would probably just clean Birdman’s clock like usual if he wasn’t pinned to bed?

  9. Inspector Dim (Spider Powered)
    June 1st, 2008 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    Q: What’s the difference between New York and Los Angeles?

    A: For Spider-Man, almost nothing except where the TV is located. In New York, it’s up a few more floors.

  10. captnkurt
    June 1st, 2008 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    iNMATE”, huh?

    Apple reaches out to a new demographic.

  11. cheech wizard
    June 1st, 2008 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    Abbey looks pretty alarmed about this “virus we couldn’t control” – apparently she realizes that if you’ve had sex with Biff, you’ve also had sex with all his chickens.

  12. Mac
    June 1st, 2008 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    Oh, there’s a huge difference between NY and LA. Because of the time zone difference, sporting events and many of the cable programs are available at an earlier hour for LA residents, allowing Peter Parker to catch up on his sleep.

  13. Laura G
    June 1st, 2008 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    Wow. J. Jonah Jameson just provoked you to cite Hitler, thus breaking Godwin’s Law, ending the debate, and giving him the win. Crafty bastard, isn’t he?

  14. teddytoad
    June 1st, 2008 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    If J. Jonah Hitler goes to war over Spider-man’s guest TV appearance, that would make Spider-man, what, Poland? Not a bad avatar for an old, tired, and forgettable country that can be taken out with the military-strategic equivalent of a dropped brick.

  15. Anonymous
    June 1st, 2008 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    #2 While it is completely understandable, you are referencing the wrong strip. The MRSA is in Rex Morgan MD.

  16. True Fable
    June 1st, 2008 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    My five year old goldfish Dooley could take out Spider-Man; what’s all JJJ’s fuss about?

  17. Thinks He's Brenda Starr
    June 1st, 2008 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    Um, Mister Jameson? You know she can’t see or hear you, right?

  18. Jack Parsons
    June 1st, 2008 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    Oh, don’t be silly. The other guy with the mustache was planning their Burning Man camp.

  19. Vakar
    June 1st, 2008 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    15: Yes, Anonymous, I know. I thought it could be amusing to someone or other.

  20. Craig
    June 1st, 2008 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    I am suddenly intrigued by A3G’s resident troublemaker Margo sneaking into the Spider-Man strip under the clever alias “Maria” and declaring war on Jonah Jameson! Maybe Alan will visit Peter Parker and offer him some “dope”, thus explaining why Spidey’s life has gone from patrolling the city for trouble to sitting on the couch and watching television.

  21. Frank Parsnip
    June 1st, 2008 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    Laura G (13): JJJ leads people right into it, always suckering them with a blatantly Hitleresque statement that, upon further enquiry, turns out different.

    JJJ in meeting with Jewish reporter: “People like you ought to be sent to a gas chamber… (hugely long pause)… like, some sort of special room where you can burp and fart all frickin’ day if you want. Frankly speaking, you look uncomfortable and uptight whenever you come into my office, and letting out a bit of gas without social awkwardness could do wonders for you. Just an idea. Look, give it a rip right now if you want — I won’t think less of you for it. Here, I’ll start it off with a barkin’ spider or two.”

    JJJ finishes commenting on Maria Lopez and moves on: “This means war … (huge pause) … on high prices! Come on down to the Triple-J Electronics Warehouse for savings that you’ll swear are ABSOLUTELY INSANNNNNNNNNE!!”

  22. hekatesgal
    June 1st, 2008 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    Vakar – when I saw the virus strip I immediately thought “Ooooh crossover strip between Rex Morgan MD and Judge Parker!”

  23. Muffaroo (now in upstate NY)
    June 1st, 2008 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

    S-M – Jameson has stated in the comics that his antipathy toward Spidey is because his own son was an astronaut, a “real hero,” and the dad-blasted public insisted on acting like that masked freak was a hero. Sure, it’s a lame and petty reason, but it’s a reason.

    And when he stated it, it was in speech balloons. This strip above, I think, is the first time I recall seeing thought balloons for Jonah. Up to now, I believed that if anything crossed his mind at all, he said it right out loud. Judging from the exchange between him and the TV, his thoughts travel farther than his utterances, so maybe he was doing the right thing all along. If he’d just thought, “WHAT?” in panel two, Maria’s next speech would have been, “I said, I’m launching my own talk show!”

  24. Thinks He's Brenda Starr
    June 1st, 2008 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

    Actually, on second thought, Maria appears to be making eye contact in panel one. Could it be that Jameson has access to near-magical television technology afforded to him by his editor-in-chief salary? Or are we simply being treated to his delusions, seeing the people on TV talk directly to him, overhearing the kitchen appliances plot against him?

  25. Vakar
    June 1st, 2008 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

    22 hekatesgal: Ah, glad to know I wasn’t the only one!

  26. bats :[
    June 1st, 2008 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    18. Jack Parsons: that video is priceless! It finally explains why a couple of my friends are so eager to go to Burning Man.

  27. Bobdog, Jungle Patrol - SVU (not an Elephant)
    June 2nd, 2008 at 2:10 am [Reply]

    Technically it would have been more along the lines of “Dies heißt Krieg!” — but it was still trouble.

  28. Jejune
    June 2nd, 2008 at 3:21 am [Reply]

    Aw, look! Disembodied claw hand is on loan from Milford and is making an appearance a fist in J. Jonah Jameson’s office. And there’s a female disembodied hand there, too! Maybe they’ll have babies.

  29. Lil
    June 2nd, 2008 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    #13 Laura G:


    #19 Vakar:

    It would be hard for me to tell if you were serious or not as well, since I routinely fail to grasp the difference between Rex Morgan and – wait, what’s that other one?

  30. astroboy
    June 2nd, 2008 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    #23 – To add a bit more, In the very early years of the comic Spiderman saved JJJ’s son’s life while he was on a mission, and JJJ still resents Spiderman’s stealing of the limelight (instead of honoring Spidey for saving his son’s life.)

    He even insinuated that Spidey had set up the rocket to fail so he could save the day.

  31. bartcow
    June 2nd, 2008 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    But wait–if Spider-Man is going to be ON the TV, then how will Peter Parker be able to throw things at it?

    Maybe if it’s not a live broadcast, or if being on TV finally means for him there’s something decent on.

    I’ve officially overthought this now.

  32. Sobek
    June 2nd, 2008 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    Elvira’s prison jumpsuit has the word “iNMATE” written on the back. I don’t know if she’s just a hard-core Mac user, or if Apple has branched out into owning and operating county jails.

    I, for one, am looking forward to the coming story line, when an iRiot breaks out, trapping Abbey, who through a wacky series of misadventures, is forced to turn to iSituational iLesbianism.

  33. Canaduck
    June 2nd, 2008 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    I think that Maria is doing very well for a wall-eyed woman with one enormous white tooth.

  34. Trouser Tent
    June 2nd, 2008 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    James Jameson’s hair looks especially chia pet-ish today.

  35. Little Guy
    June 2nd, 2008 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    JP: So, bird flu is a gateway drug to marijuana?

    The solution’s obvious. Eradicate all birds. For the children’s sake.

  36. Mr. Lemon
    June 2nd, 2008 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    Reafer Madness has been known to cause terrible dancing, bad haircuts, worse acting and commentary tracks by Mike Nelson.

  37. Bryce
    June 2nd, 2008 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    Looks like great minds think alike when it comes to horrible comic strips like JP.

  38. Elizabeth
    June 2nd, 2008 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    Hitler-’stache guy appears to have fish scales. w00t, ready-made supervillain identity.

  39. Michael Marriott
    June 3rd, 2008 at 2:55 am [Reply]

    Why are you worried about John Jameson’s declaration of war? This is Spiderman, so war were will all be fought off-camera, involve people completley uninvolved in the strip, and probably consist of people sending messages to each other…in an impolite fashion (with apoligies no doubt).

  40. Bret
    June 3rd, 2008 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    Of course, JJJ also said in the issue with the Enforcers he hated Parker’s alter ego due to Spidey doing things he didn’t have the guts to do. If comic-spidey was as good a man as he seemed Jolly Jonah would feel like scum for his own behavior.

  41. Carly
    June 4th, 2008 at 1:54 am [Reply]

    She knows Spider-Man well, if she’s using the television set to address him.

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    June 5th, 2008 at 12:27 pm [Reply]


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