The Comics Curmudgeon

113 responses to “Metapost: Slightly late comments of the week”

1. AtomicDog
   June 3rd, 2008 at 10:43 am [Reply]

   Luann – I hope that Brad and Toni have worked out their safety word in advance, or this may get messy.

2. Muffaroo (in upstate NY)
   June 3rd, 2008 at 10:51 am [Reply]

   I’m just mildly disappointed that the line about the antique chair Mary keeps by her bed for just this purpose didn’t make the semis. But then, so much of life is a mild disappointment. Congratulations to the winners (and you may read that line in a slightly whiny tone, if you wish).

3. Mibbitmaker
   June 3rd, 2008 at 11:07 am [Reply]

   Yesterthread #31 (Mr. O’Malley): I know. True Fable referenced “I Am the Walrus” in his thread (referencing today’s Mutts), but typed the “koo koo ka-choo” version, which comes from “Mrs. Robinson”, and everyone attributes it to IAtW. It’s all Paul Simon’s fault, I tells ya!

   And the slightly differing spelling of the Mrs. R. version: koo koo Katchoo, refers to Frank Sinatra’s opinion of one of the leads from Terry Moore’s “Strangers in Paradise”! ;o)

   Well, back to finishing yesterthread…

4. Darkefang
   June 3rd, 2008 at 11:10 am [Reply]

   #92 Cubiclemonkey –

   “I’m pretty sure Alfredo is not a Hispanic name. Perhaps it’s just the only ethnic one the creator of Judge Parker has ever heard?”

   Alfredo Garcia was Hispanic.

5. Laura c
   June 3rd, 2008 at 11:11 am [Reply]

   MW: We are witnessing Richard’s best pickup line. “Yep, sleeping and eating all right…speaking of sleeping…”
   Meanwhile, Jeff Cory will go home and put a bullet through his head.

6. Laura c
   June 3rd, 2008 at 11:13 am [Reply]

   #4 – If fettucine alfredo is not Hispanic, I’ll eat a bowl of bland, gooey, artery-clogging pasta.

7. yellojkt
   June 3rd, 2008 at 11:15 am [Reply]

   It could be worse. Ted could be boinking Mary. At least then he wouldn’t have to worry about more kids. And with his strategic sourcing contacts, he could get bulk discounts on Astroglide in convenient 50 gallon drums.

8. Moss_Moses
   June 3rd, 2008 at 11:16 am [Reply]

   Laura C, Doc Jeff is a free agent now. He can do way better than that meddling hag who never puts out anyway. Why’s he going to shoot himself?

   Doc sure paints with a wide brush. You’d think an advanced analytical scientist and renowned wingbone research specialist like him would know better than to call Kelly Welly “that young woman who always gets Mark into trouble”. Well, I guess Doc will know what to say if he happens to answer her call next time – “Mark, Kelly Welly, freelance photographer at Woods and Wildlife Magazine and the woman who always gets you into trouble is calling”. Lost Forest would not be so hard up for money if they had just built that road to the gambling casino through it. It could be a B&B. Cherry is pretty much domestic help anyway.

9. Huntch
   June 3rd, 2008 at 11:20 am [Reply]

   JP – Wouldn’t it be great if the very nice man with the suitcase full of money turned out to be the “Seal Lawyer” (Steve? I’ve already forgotten his name.)

10. gnome de blog
    June 3rd, 2008 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    #9 Huntch: Even better if it’s the disabled vet guy Steve Shannon met on the bus, and who signed up to be his first client. Gives new perspective to Steve’s vision to a “green” law firm.

    #6 LauraC: Fettucine Alfredo ain’t Hispanic. It ain’t even Italian. It’s from New York City.

11. bats :[
    June 3rd, 2008 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    Congratulations to all the floaters, waving and tossing stuff (even little Rusty, who I think merits a separate float with a privacy curtain around it).

    As to mojo’s comment, it had inspired me last week to “do” something with the Abbey picture in question. I put it on my blog, but here it is on flicker.com. This one’s fer you, mojo:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2547856171/

12. Calvin\\\\\\\'s Cardboard Box
    June 3rd, 2008 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    #8 – I assume Laura has confused Jeff Corey with his brother Richard, the famed industrialist.

    koo-koo ka-choo, Mrs. Robinson.

13. Dub Not Dubya
    June 3rd, 2008 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    Josh, you wrote “put many in the tip jar” rather than money. I do hope that many put money, but perhaps that’s not what you meant to write.

    Congrats to all the winners.

    PS: Quack! Aahhh! (just felt like saying it)

14. Mal
    June 3rd, 2008 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    I think the best part (which isn’t shown above) about Rusty’s comment on Ted, is that Rusty immediately followed it with an apology. It turned my horrific mental imagery into a lol.

15. Ces
    June 3rd, 2008 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Yesterthread: #52 Gabacho says:

    Sally Forth – I knew it was coming but still it hurts. What is wrong with some people who the minute they start thinking about reproduction, they have to talk to every goshdarn person they know about it?

    Sally/Ted/Ces, here’s how it works. Other than your family doctor, your surrogate baby mama, your therapist and your partner, telling people about your reproductive plans and/or difficulties is boorish. It makes the listener uncomfortable and it whittles away any affection the friend might feel for you. You can tell by the forced looks of interest and sympathy.

    I am very annoyed that a strip I like is doing this to me.

    What I like about this message is that the author chose to address not just me but also the two comic strip characters. Not only that, but I actually place third on the list, as if to the writer were saying, “Judging by your less than deft handling of the current story arc, Ces, I believe I have a better chance of reasoning with your fictional counterparts than with you.”

    And you know, they’re right. So without further ado I’ve decided to let Ted Forth respond to the above message. Take it away, Ted.

    Dear Fan:

    Please know, I completely appreciate your frustration when confronted with someone prattling on about their plans for reproduction, as if their parturition is in any way of paramount concern to you.

    But please note, often by discussing things with others do we gain the necessary understanding to do not only what we want but also, more importantly, achieve what we truly need. Take that great 20th century character, Benson. When we first met Benson he was the butler for the wealthy Tate family in “Soap.” But despite his clear affection for materfamilias Jessica Tate, not doubt Benson spoke to friends and family about his desire to do more with his life, see more of this great world of ours. And unquestionably it was through these heart-to-hearts that he chose to leave his former employer in Connecticut and become the Head of Household Affairs for Governor Eugene Gatling (a career move no doubt facilitated by the fact that Eugene was the cousin of Jessica Tate).

    Yet even though the job was not without its rewards, Benson still yearned for more. So one can presume that he engaged in another long series of conversations with his compeers, and it was thanks to their advice that he almost certainly acquired the confidence and commitment to steadily climb up the ladder until he became State Budget Director and then ultimately to the very esteemed and enviable position of Lieutenant Governor.

    But as we all know, no matter how much you have, you dream of something more. And so it was with Benson when he–we can assuredly guess–once more sought the audience and counseling of workmates, classmates and soulmates to debate the viability of a run for the governorship. And so the series “Benson” ended on an unresolved cliffhanger, as the title character and best friend and new opponent Eugene sat together, watching the election returns.

    I guess in the end what I’m trying to say is that I, Ted Forth, have after much deliberation and discussion with my still confused family decided to run as Governor of the Great State of Where I Reside.

    Now, I understand that after 18 long months of electioneering the last thing any of you want to hear is further debates and disputes over the economy, the Iraq War, oil prices, the environment and the like. That is why I have built my campaign on a solid platform of personal and unique interests that can once more engage and enliven the electorate. To wit:

    * Round-the-clock airing of the 1983 Saturday morning cartoon “Rubik: The Amazing Cube.” I, for one, have never seen this cartoon but its very premise–a magical cube that fell off an evil stagecoach and can only come alive when properly solved–practically screams delicious entertainment.

    * Immediate availability of Astro Pops in all retail venues, not just retro candy outlets.

    * Universal healthcare as practiced by Canada, Europe and I believe President Koopa in the film “Super Mario Bros.”

    * The triumphant return of Funny Face Juice Packs, minus such less than ideal characters as Chinese Cherryand Injun’ Orange.

    * After decades of broken promises and outright lies concerning the future of transportation, I will finally make all our dreams come true by giving everyone a jetpack.

    Thank you for listening. My name is Ted Forth and I will put the past back into our future!

    Good night and God speed.
    Ted Forth

16. Uncle Lumpy
    June 3rd, 2008 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    Josh wrote:

    . . . thanks to those fine folks who put some many in the tip jar!

    And special thanks to those who put in some lots!

17. bats :[
    June 3rd, 2008 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    elyse (aka Elyse D from Chicago): KUDOS and CONGRATUMALATIONS for winning the May Coffee Stalk and breaking the FOOB ceiling! Heck, I’m just tickled if they publish my vitriol from time to time… you have a mug to pour yours into! (I couldn’t find your post in the listings; I guess Archives is a two-syllable word…)

18. bats :[
    June 3rd, 2008 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    Maybe someone put mayo in the tip jar.
    That’s NOT mayo?

19. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    June 3rd, 2008 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to the COTW crew, especially Rusty, my new hero.

20. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 3rd, 2008 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    Congratulations to Albert Camus on what may be his best work since “The Stranger.” Also to nasty Rusty and the rest.

21. cheech wizard
    June 3rd, 2008 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    Cool – always better to ride than to walk. Thanks, Josh – and congrats to Albert Camus for his keen analysis and to Rusty for his two-bagger – a truly rare feat!

22. cheech wizard
    June 3rd, 2008 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    Phantom – The fourth wall is shattered in today’s strip – only it’s the readers that are yelling “Why are you here!?”

    Aside from all the other absurdities on this abandoned oil platform, who is going to tie up a $2 million antique seaplane to the bare steel legs of an oil platform in the open ocean, let alone leave it overnight? Hey Kit, do the words “20-foot swells” and “kindling” mean anything to you?

23. Poteet
    June 3rd, 2008 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    Congratulations to Albert Camus for his mathematical insight! And deep bows to the extremely funny runnersup! And a special cautious bow in the direction of Rusty, who must own futures in brain bleach!

24. Islamorada Girl
    June 3rd, 2008 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    Rusty, you know if you can gross Josh out, you’ve got something very, very special.

    Oh, and WhooHoo! I’m on the float!

25. Colinski
    June 3rd, 2008 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    Hey, wait, I think a whippet is a dog. Did you mean Whip-Its, EFR? Thanks a lot for implanting visions of Crankshaft bestiality in my head.

26. Certified Christian
    June 3rd, 2008 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    Sorry if I’m late to the game on this, but in MW today – does Ron have a microwave in his library? I have to say that I question Ron’s statement that he’s eating normally — if he needs to keep a microwave at arms length at all times to satisfy an insatiable craving for hot pockets. Well, I guess that depends on whether he was like that before his mother died…

27. SFMarcus
    June 3rd, 2008 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @COTW Floaters:

    Ah yes, a dam’ fine slice of quiche de snark with my morning coffee!

    Life is good.

    Congrats to all the chefs. (Not sure where the culinary metaphor came from: oh wait- yes I do: I’m hungry, non-metaphorically.)

    But seriously, good work, all!

28. Baka Gaijin
    June 3rd, 2008 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Tuesday’s Mary Worth: BOOTY CALL!!!

29. Baka Gaijin
    June 3rd, 2008 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    Many kudos thrown to the COTW floaters and a box of Tide© with Brain Bleach to Rusty.

30. Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
    June 3rd, 2008 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    Ces (@ 15), or rather Ted (@ 15), I can’t believe you’d fail to point out that “Rubik: The Amazing Cube” was one of the first mainstream cartoon shows to feature a mainly Hispanic cast, but target a general audience, thereby paving the roads so effortlessly trod today by “Dora the Explorer”.

31. Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
    June 3rd, 2008 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    Colinski (@ 25)
    I was just travelling in Wales. Funniest sign I saw posted:

    LOST
    Whippet Bitch

    Call me juvenile. The pathos of a lost dog cannot stand up to the hilarity of the correct and ingenuous use of the word “bitch”.

32. Mac
    June 3rd, 2008 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    Okay, I think we can solve the problems of these two similarly-named strips, Mary Worth and Sally Forth. It’s really simple. Dr. Jeff, who obviously was fertile at one point and has access to medicine and medical procedures which can make him so again, should get together with Sally Forth. Meanwhile, Ted Forth is exactly the sort of easily manipulated individual who can satisfy Mary Worth’s need to meddle. Obviously, a trade is in order. Perhaps Mary Worth can throw in Wilbur or something to balance it out.

33. gh
    June 3rd, 2008 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    #15 Ces –

    Just don’t give up your day job. This is your day job, right?

34. Gabacho
    June 3rd, 2008 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    Yesterthread #74 dariaclone and Today #15 Ces and Ted

    This is a banner day for me – I not only got schooled by two real people but a cartoon character as well. Very cool.

    Let me respond, first to the real people and then to the cartoon character.

    Yesterthread #74 dariaclone - Congrats on the baby and it is obnoxious how people drop all boundaries with pregnant women. I’ve seen it and been taken aback by it.

    Complete strangers offering bizarre opinions to women who aren’t feeling all that well anyway. It’s weird.

    I promise never to do it.

    The one exception should be women who are clearly grandmothers. They usually know how to be polite about it. I like the grandmothers.

    In the last year of her life, my own sainted grandmother asked me when I was going to find the right girl and start a family. Her memory was failing and I had to explain to her again that my roommate Garbanzo and I were not just confirmed bachelors but a couple. She replied, “So, find two girls.”

    # 15 Ted – Your astute point about the inner life and the social interactions of 1979-1986 sitcom character Benson is well argued but I must also remind that if television has taught us anything, it is that there is comedy gold in adopting an already established character. I refer you to “Different Strokes”, Ernie in “My Three Sons”, and does anyone else remember Peggy McCay in “Room for One More”? Don’t forget that Ted and Georgette also adopted David.

    The message is clear. Adopt Faye. I say no more.

    On your plans to run for governor, AWESOME. You have a great platform and I volunteer to run your PR. I know it’s derivative but with that platform, you could take the slogan of my favorite candidate “Yes, We Can” and improve it by making “Yes, We Should” or “Cool You Can Believe In.” I’ll give it some more thought and get back to you.

    Any ‘mudges want to set up the website?

    PS How come Sally doesn’t write to me? Kinda cold. She might be a liability. I’m just saying

    # 15 Ces Now for the cartoon character. Ted’s not bothered by my whining and ranting. What’s your T, baby?

35. Laura c
    June 3rd, 2008 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    #8 As Calvin’s Cardboard Box notes, I was parodying the old middle school chestnut by Edward Arlington Robinson – “Richard Cory.” (”And one night Richard Cory went home and put a bullet through his head.”)
    #10 I kind of figured that.

36. Saluki
    June 3rd, 2008 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    Luann:

    !

    ! ?

    !?!?!?!?

37. gh
    June 3rd, 2008 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    I(?)GT —

    Help me out here. So if Elmer waits until he’s 17½, he can’t return for 3 years, but if he waits till he’s 18 he can’t return for 10? So . . . if he waits till he’s 17 ¾, he can’t come back for, what, 7 years? Is it any wonder people sneak in? The immigration paperwork — the math section alone is a killer.

38. gnome de blog
    June 3rd, 2008 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    #15:
    Dear Ted,
    Let me be the first to say that your decision to run for Governor is both admirable and courageous. However, your campaign theme, “putting the past back in the future,” has passed its sell-by date. The current Administration has, unfortunately, used it all up.

    As an alternative, you would be perfect for the part of the transvestite killer Bohdan Kravchenko if they ever decide to make a movie of Elmore Leonard’s Up in Honey’s Room.

    Hollywood, not politics, is your destiny, young man. If you play your cards right, you might yourself become a Saturday morning cartoon.

    Very truly yours,

    gnome de blog

39. Kate
    June 3rd, 2008 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    The comments made by Rusty have scarred me for life. Especially because my ex is named Rusty.

40. commodorejohn
    June 3rd, 2008 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    9CL – 9 Chickweed Lane in a nutshell: artful, yet infuriatingly empty.

    A3G – For being a “stuff” fiend, Alan is remarkably perceptive. I can’t recall any of the characters ever offering a better summary of Margo.

    AS – GEE I’M SURE THIS ISN’T STOLEN FROM THE FAR SIDE NOPE NOT A CHANCE

    Crankshaft – I’m sure this is supposed to be just another “ha ha, Crankshaft is saying stupid things because he’s old” strip, but I’m choosing to believe that he’s intentionally screwing with this person, who appears to be Old Lady #2’s nurse after a diet.

    DT – Dick Tracy in support of expanded wiretapping privileges? Not surprising in the least.

    FC – “Remember! Anything wonderful can be turned into a money-making opportunity if you put your mind to it!”

    FOOB – Yes, April, you should be giving glory and honor to the selfless martyr who provides everything for you and only asks for the opportunity to emotionally abuse you in exchange!

    JP – Too much Elvira, not enough Abbey.

    Luann – AAIIIEEE THE MENTAL IMAGE DO NOT WANT AAAAAHHHHHH

    MW – “I’m finally eating and sleeping normally after my mother passed away. Unfortunately, I’m also turning into Jack Thompson.”

    MC – Hahahahahahaha I love this strip.

    Popeye – He took Swee’Pea along? The hey?

    RMMD – Ooh, nice WILSON & NOLAN shirt, June!

    SFx – That is totally Cassandra in diguise. Wonder what she’s trying to pull here; is she trying to make an honest job out of cheating people out of their money like most fortune tellers? Or is the “gypsy” thing just a front for something more sinister? Either way, we’re again seeing her curious ability to get hotter the more clothes she has on.

    Ziggy – The bird is at it again…

41. Kate
    June 3rd, 2008 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    Also, what in the fuck just happened in Luann? No, that’s not the right question. Is the thing that happened in Luann intentional? Because if it is, I am *so* down with the direction this strip is taking.

42. Tweeks_Coffee
    June 3rd, 2008 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    #41 – Kate: I can’t figure out any meaning for this that doesn’t involve Toni and Brad having some kind of weird shaving party. I’ve been thinking about this all day too.

43. NotMe
    June 3rd, 2008 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    MW: At first I thought Ron was living in a hotel room because of the microwave in the bookshelf behind him. Then I saw all the books and realized it couldn’t be a hotel.

    So what’s up with the microwave in the bookshelf? Was Ron so depressed that he couldn’t make it to the kitchen to nuke his bag of popcorn?

44. True Fable
    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    Congratulations to Albert Camus and all the float riders!

    I think This is in order. Let’s hope it makes up for my foolishly switching my koo-koo-kachooing with my goob goob g’goob or whatever the hell I’m looking for. :D

45. indichik
    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    Laura C, gnome de blog: Fettucine Alfredo was invented in Italy. According to Wikipedia, “it was popularized among American tourists in Rome by the restaurateur Alfredo di Lelio, who served it with his own name attached…the dish was invented by di Lelio at his restaurant Alfredo alla Scrofa in 1914 as a variation of fettuccine al burro” (fettucine with butter, an authentic Italian dish).

    Actual Italians never touch the stuff; the only people who order it in Italy are American tourists who think “authentic Italian cuisine” means “the stuff they have at Olive Garden…but in Italy!”

    As far as I can tell, there were no Mexicans involved.

46. bats :[
    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    Huh, I don’t know whether to dedicate this to Mac (#32) or Gabacho’s grandmother (that’s a great story about her!):
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2548316637/sizes/o/

47. Moss_Moses
    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    32. Mac, I think Doc Jeff should grow a pair, grow a pornstache and make a housecall to Lost Forest for the porn flick he’ll be in with Kelly Welly. They are perfect for each other. Mary Worth doesn’t really like sissy types like Ted Forth, anyway.

48. gh
    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    #46 bats :[ –

    You are BAD. Maybe not Rusty bad, but you’re still bad. That final panel is a stand-alone classic.

49. Mr. Fogarty
    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    All I can see happening with Brad and Toni is they send the brat to bed, engage in some CFNM shaving fun, and Brad winds up getting home late and will have to explain to TJ just why he is totally hairless.

    c’mon, that isn’t TJ’s style.

    If there were a truly gay spin-off strip, Brad would never shave anywhere.

    Title?

    TJ and the Bear.

50. Sheila Sternwell
    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to all the COTWers! And Rusty: seek help. I say this because I am your friend.

    indichik, I now want some fettuccini al burro. Yum.

51. cheech wizard
    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    Luann – Reminds me of the opening minutes of Titanic -

    “What did Jack Dawson do, Rose?”

    “He shaved me. He shaved me in every way that a man could shave a woman.”

52. Poteet
    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    # 51 cheech — You owe me a keyboard.

53. Old School Allie Cat
    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    Luann – You know, for a cartoonist who documented Luann’s first menstrual cycle without using the word “period”, Greg Evans has come a long way.

    Of course, Brad will be coming a long way shortly after Toni lathers him up and pulls out her Lady Remington.

    Confidential to Rusty – You don’t need help – maybe just a week at the Chicken Ranch in Vegas.

    Confidential to Kate – I too have an ex named Rusty – should we start a support group?

54. off-model
    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    Congratulations all!

    The Chef Meowrice ads in Gasoline Alley reminded me about that tail-less black cat that didn’t get along with Kitty and now I wonder what the heck ever happened to it.
    No really, I do care. I didn’t really care about Rural Stereotype’s failed engagement to Freakishly Large-headed Upper-Class Big City Stereotype, but I do wonder what happened to that poor cat.

55. cheech wizard
    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of Toni shaving Brad, I’m sure many of you have seen the Edge gel commercials with the miniature dancing bimbos hosing each other down with foam, supposedly on the surface of some guy’s face. I just hope there’s someone out their with the video skills to show the bloodbath and curdling screams that ensue when his double-bladed razor cuts them down like jiggly, silicon-enhanced wheat.

56. cheech wizard
    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    Poteet – Just put it in the dishwasher – it’ll be fine. Or so I’m told.

    Don’t try this with a laptop, though.

57. Poteet
    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    # 46 bats — I’ve seen SWINGTOWN promos over and over and over on the local news, and now you’ve made all that suffering worthwhile. Bless you. And now I’m going to try not to think about what your next panel might have been.

58. Mac
    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    Bats, that’s great. We could even make space for a new strip on the comics page by combining the two. Mary Forth, your time is now.

59. Poteet
    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    # 54 off model — Me too! I hated the way that storyline just left the black cat abandoned. And the current storyline is partly based on serious littering, ugh.

60. commodorejohn
    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    #54 off model, #59 Poteet – Indeed. That cat was more likeable than the entire rest of the cast put together.

61. mojo
    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    Wow! Awesome! Runner up! I feel like I’ve just been invited to the Cool Kids’ party!

    Special thanks to bats :[ for the graphic. It’s not just for breakfast anymore!

    I only pray the initiation prank isn’t too humiliating…

62. Poteet
    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    # 53 Allie Cat — Intrigued, I used advanced Google on “my ex-husband Rusty” and “my ex-boyfriend Rusty.” Only three hits, but all looked strange.

63. gh
    June 3rd, 2008 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    #62 Poteet –

    Try “my Rusty ex-boyfriend.” You might get more hits.

64. Vakar
    June 3rd, 2008 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    Yesterthread, 74 dariaclone: I still burn in shame for something I did two months ago. I was telling the mother of a toddler that my wife was pregnant with our second child. A small conversation ensued, and I asked her, “So, are you planning to have another child?” Not like that’s a personal question or anything! Asshole me.

    26, 43: Beat me to it! Except that it looks more like a miniature conventional oven to me, making its bookshelf home all the more unwise.

    Camus, float riders, I raise a toast to you. As for you, Rusty, I look forward to your Mary Worth erotic fan fiction.

    What?

65. gnome de blog
    June 3rd, 2008 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    45 Indichik:
    Overheard in the only place in Portland, Oregon with even the slightest flavor of authenticity:

    “No, ma’am, we don’t have fettucine Alfredo. This is an Italian restaurant.”

    As for your history lesson, I stand corrected.

    P.S. The lady hung up on him.

66. Harry Worth
    June 3rd, 2008 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    I look forward to your Mary Worth erotic fan fiction.

    Mary is a MILF . . . a meddler I’d like. . .

67. Old School Allie Cat
    June 3rd, 2008 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    #62 – Poteet – in college, I had a number of friends, many of whom had dated a guy named Chris (not the same Chris for each girl), who was inevitably a jerk. Thus we coined the phrase, “Into every life a little Chris must fall.” The name Eric later became interchangeable.

    I just wondered if the same was true for Rusty…

68. Baka Gaijin
    June 3rd, 2008 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    #66 Harry Worth: Ewwwwww! A box of Tide© with Brain Bleach to you, too.

69. Tom
    June 3rd, 2008 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    Regarding today’s Opus …

    Just how far south can Steve’s flag jams go before we see his Dallas cowboy?

70. Tom
    June 3rd, 2008 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    In today’s Spider-Man, do you think Peter is gonna grab the phone or snag him some wife-boobs?

71. This Dope Is Super For My Naked Ringless Fingers
    June 3rd, 2008 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    HtH — I swear I’ve seen this exact same joke in a half dozen guises, and I seldom read Hagar.

    http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/hagar.asp

72. Orange Doorhinge
    June 3rd, 2008 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    MW: “chi meddle il meddler?”

73. TheDiva
    June 3rd, 2008 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    I never inquire into the pregnancies of strangers, because I hate it when it happens to me. I especially hate it because I am not and have never been pregnant–I just have what may delicately be called a lack of muscle tone in my abdomen. So quite apart from the general rudeness of it all, I don’t want to take the chance that I might be wrong.

74. Thinks He's Brenda Starr
    June 3rd, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    I’ve always hated the kind of people who wave around their ultrasound pictures. I found my graduating class’s alumni website, and for the longest time, the front page had a picture of an unborn baby of someone I didn’t know.

    Seriously, if I wanted to look at the inside of a uterus, I’d be married to a woman.

75. compass rose
    June 3rd, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    MW – Apparently, Dr. Jeff left in a huff to practice some voo-doo. Mary’s head is already shrinking in panel 1.

76. Alfred Jarry
    June 3rd, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    Scene II of the surrealist masterpiece “This Week in the Funnies”:

    Vladimir: Food prices are soaring! Gas prices are skyrocketing! House prices are crashing! The climate’s in crisis! Let’s sell tickets for rides in daddy’s chair.

    General Malaise: The wrestling mats never made it to the landfill! This means war!

    Vladimir: We could use the money, with everything being so expensive.

    General Malaise: It’s gonna be a hoot! And it’s all because of a virus we couldn’t control.

    Evil Clown #1: I should give my mom credit!

    Vladimir: Your classmates will be a glass hammer and a bag of nothing. I’m launching my own talk show! But in the meantime, I’m still broke and almost out of dope!

    General Malaise: You don’t really want me to shave right now, do you? After the chickens died, Alfredo suggested we grow marijuana.

    Evil Clown #2: I just saw your ex-wife in the back of the store. Maybe you two should take a mini-vacation together!

    Princess Britney: Oh Jeff! My naked ringless fingers!

    Vladimir: They were in the trunk of my car for half an hour! You know, we could still practice making a baby.

    General Malaise: In a related story, the battle for sanity is officially over, and the trial lawyers have won.

77. Orange Doorhinge
    June 3rd, 2008 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    Oops! That was Italian. Here it is in Latin:

    “Quisnam mos meddle meddler?”

78. gnome de blog
    June 3rd, 2008 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    (#76) Mon Cher M. (or is it Mein Herr) Jarry:

    Have you considered writing English dialogue for Japanese monster movies?

79. Old School Allie Cat
    June 3rd, 2008 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    #74 Thinks he’s Brenda Starr – back in January, I threw a baby shower for a friend with two other women – we got wind that the girl in charge of the cake got one of those photo cakes – the photo being the mother’s ultrasound.

    I posted on this site about it then, and we were all pretty much floored.

    While it ended up being cuter than we expected, there were a lot of furtive e-mails about “feed us fetus cake’, and praying it wasn’t red velvet.

    I was happy to look at my sister’s kid in utero, because hey, I want to be a good aunt, but why does she have to get all huffy when I think it looks like a gummy bear? It did.

80. Vakar
    June 3rd, 2008 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    79: As long as you didn’t then mention that you hoped it was a particular flavor, I’d say she was just oversensitive.

81. Nil Zed
    June 3rd, 2008 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    A year ago today, I gave birth. Today, I made the float.

    It’s been a good year.

    (as for the ultrasounds, except when the tech. was explaining it to me, I never could figure out what was what on the picture. Modern Art, that’s all.)

82. Rusty
    June 3rd, 2008 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    I would like to take this opportunity to thank my creator, my wife and kids, my faithful Lab Toby, and a special shout-out to all the scotch I drank last week.

    I wasn’t getting anywhere so I decided to work blue.

83. Kate
    June 3rd, 2008 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    Rusty, “reed-thin forearm” isn’t blue. It’s … green. Or it makes everyone else that way, anyway.

84. TeacherPatti
    June 3rd, 2008 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    What the heck is up with the look on Alan’s face in panel three of Apt. 3G? He has that “pretty sneaky sis” look on his little mug.

85. boojum
    June 3rd, 2008 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    Late to the party, but congrats to all the float-riders!

    And mojo — Don’t worry about the initiation rituals. They’re no big deal. Usually, we just get Rusty to come up with something…….

86. Madsci
    June 3rd, 2008 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    Cathy: Somehow, a strip with Cathy talking about shoes is no more boring than any other woman talking about shoes. It’s also no more boring than any other Cathy strip. Odd.

    Hi & Lois: It’s still really startling to see Hi go from fresh-faced go-getter to Shelley Levine in a single panel.
    “Just don’t try putting it in second — oh, I shouldn’t have said that. Aw, Gil.”

    Momma: First day at Committee for the Propagation of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice Beach! Hooray!

    Non Sequitur: Too soon!

87. Moss_Moses
    June 3rd, 2008 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    84. Teach, that litlle smirk dimple is a permanent fixture on Alan’s guilty face. After all he’s “doing” marijuana surreptitiously behind the innocent and virtuous Luanne Powers’ unsuspecting back. Perhaps Elvirus Dickens could hook him up with some good hootch once her dream team springs her from the klink.

88. gnomo di blog
    June 3rd, 2008 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    72:
    Chi ficca il naso al ficcanaso?

89. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    June 3rd, 2008 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    Ah, it seems my lucky streak has run out. Still, I’m sure I can improve my snark with lessons learned from this week’s winners.

    Note to self: Make sexual imagery more disturbing.

90. Thinks He's Brenda Starr
    June 3rd, 2008 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    #79: I’d have joined in on the fetus-cake talk, but I spent a while catching up on the archives. For my own sanity, I stuck to reading only the posts and not the comments. Sounds like it was a fantastic party. Someone needs to come up with a delicious Jell-O treat featuring tiny prawns suspended in goo for just such an occasion.

    I find that the best way to irritate a mother is to refer to her newborn son as “it” and “this”.

    I was holding my nephew one day and, “Can someone hold this while I put on my coat?”

    My sister hissed at me, “HIM! This is a HIM!”

    I looked at her blankly and said, “Right, but could you hold it for a second?”

91. anonymous
    June 3rd, 2008 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Is NO ONE except me ALARMED that Amos has apparently given Edda the heave-ho?

92. Old School Allie Cat
    June 3rd, 2008 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    #91 – I’m alarmed that Amos isn’t running fast enough and that she may catch up to him. Otherwise, I’m kind of delighted.

93. KH
    June 3rd, 2008 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    #15 Ces/Ted:

    I have not been the same since Freckle-Face Strawberry vanished from the grocery aisles and wish you nothing but success.

    However, I’m going to why there is such a a huge giant glaring omission from Sally’s angst. “IF” – we haven’t heard the word “if” – age has only been mentioned in the context of being old while the kid is young. Sally’s got 40 year old ovaries – they don’t just pop ‘em out like they used to. Now it could be very interesting to send her down the rabbit-hole of that angst, as long as you’ll pull her sanely out of it and not just have her and Ted drain every last cent on “one more IVF” while Hillary wails “how come I’m not good enough for you?”

    Unless, of course, there’s a New York bun already in the oven, in which case all of this is irrelevant.

94. Tilaney
    June 3rd, 2008 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    #91
    You might be the only one alarmed. I’d be relieved if I could be sure it was over. For now I’m just irritated the nerdy boy meets self absorbed / insecure girl, improbably draws interest of different self absorbed yet more secure girl (who doesn’t interest him in the slightest btw) then inexplicably dumps first girl fantasy is going on so so long.

95. AtomicDog
    June 3rd, 2008 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    9CL – Hey, that’s right! The Diva-Bitch has a clear shot at Amos now!

    Go, Diva-Bitch, go!

96. Doug Puthoff
    June 3rd, 2008 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    6-4 GT: Either Will Smith has a new partner, or Tommy Lee Jones has started to wear the Prince Valiant cut.

97. Tats
    June 3rd, 2008 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    A3-G: “Margo Magee is a cold-hearted witch!” is possibly the least necessary piece of exposition ever.

    FBoFW: Turns out we were being misled all this time when we thought this was some sort of grand Requiem for a Dream-esque drug fantasy/salute to young prince Michael. Lynn has actually made it so that the end of the strip builds up to everyone finally appreciating Elly and falling neatly into the life plans she’s carved out for them. And then, finally, at the banquet that will doubtlessly be held in her honour, it will all have been revealed to be a horrible delusion. We’ll rejoin reality as John signs off on the papers and the men in the white coats drag Elly off laughing hysterically, her mouth more frighteningly triangular than ever before.

    FW: To be fair, in Funky Winkerbean, an “emergency medical form” is really more accurately named a “medical inevitability form.”

    MW: It’s nice to see that Ron has apparently turned his air conditioner to face the wall. The draft that surely emits from the phone as one speaks to Mary Worth has to be bone-chillling enough.

98. Muffaroo (in upstate NY)
    June 3rd, 2008 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    GA – They’re arguing about whether Chef Meowrice is a cartoon! Get it? It’s funny because Rufus, in silhouette, looks like Donald Duck trying to swallow Goofy!

    H&J – This seems like a fake to me. The punch line of a real Herb & Jamal would be, “When did they start putting cars in boxes of that popular snack?” At least the art’s good, by the strip’s standards. By which I mean, none of the faces came out so bad that the artist had to fill them in completely with ink.

    JP – In the words of Hershel Krustofsky, “They backed a pickup full of money to my door! I’m not made of stone!”

    Luann – Okay, the beard was worth it. Go, Brad.

    MF – It’s funny because the duck is talking out of a large, fleshy growth that comes out just below his shirt.

    MW – Talking on the telephone changes the color of your voice! Who’s their provider — Ma Beige?

    Mutts – “I was the walrus! Paul wasn’t the walrus! I was just saying that to be nice, but I was actually the walrus!…”

    Non Seq – Good one, I thought. Unfortunate timing, what with the crane accident in NY, but still funny on its own merits — funny in more than one panel.

    Peanuts – A classic, where a second phase Charlie Brown actually pulls a sneaky trick on somebody else and gets away with it.

    PC – Ha ha, Prick City’s initials are PC. “Kenneth Watt said something wrong about global warming in 1970.” That is so profound. James Watt said something wrong about Jesus coming back in the 80s, so I guess that’s never happening, either.

    S-M – “Hello, Mr. Jameson? Peter is–” “–fondling me! (I’m not the only one who noticed that!)

    Tats @97 – Re FW: ’strewth!

99. commodorejohn
    June 3rd, 2008 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    #91 anonymous – I actually don’t hate the Amos/Edda relationship the way most people here do, but I’m not at all concerned about this. For one thing, their relationship is such a fixture of the strip that there’s no way in Hell it’s actually over for good, and for another, it has spent so long going absolutely nowhere that I don’t care where it goes so long as it goes somewhere. Amos, Edda, either start making out or call it quits, for God’s sake!

100. Pepperoni Détournées
     June 3rd, 2008 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

     #90, thinks: people get annoyed when you talk about hypothetical children, too.

     Me: I don’t like kids.
     Classmate: You’ll feel differently when you have them.
     Me: Sure, if I had one, I’d love it.
     Classmate: It? You’d love IT?
     Me: You want me to guess at the sex of my future hypothetical possible child? It’s barely even an it! It doesn’t even exist!

101. Rusty
     June 3rd, 2008 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

     MW: Speaking of disturbing images, has no one remarked upon the shadowing of actual breasts on Mary today?

     9CL: If Amos takes a run at Seth than we have an interesting turn of events. As it is, his blueballs are probably making it physically impossible to keep straddling his cello or whatever-it-is he plays. It sure aint Edda.

102. Artist formerly known as Ben
     June 3rd, 2008 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

     #98 Muffaroo,
     I tend to overlook the Classic Peanuts while clicking on the comic links. But that was a really good one and I have to thank you for pointing it out. His relief at getting rid of that damn cat is palpable.

103. Joe Btfsplk
     June 3rd, 2008 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

     But, Ted has no dignity to begin with. So Jeff’s dignity level must be a negative quantity. I’m not sure how that works, but it sounds about right.

     Fred Basset – No, no, no… It’s coffee. The line is, “Coffee, please!” That’s a believable lunch counter order. No one in history has ever gone up to a lunch counter and ordered a nonspecific sandwich. There is no such thing. The setup has to be somewhat plausible, see, or the twist won’t have any comic effect. I keep telling you – run your jokes past me first.

     In the UK, is a Subway shop called a “Tube?”

     As long as we’re in a metathread, I will go a bit off-topic with a question that maybe someone more tech-savvy than I am can answer: I am using Opera as my favorite browser at the moment. It works just fine for everything except when I go to view comics at chron.com. The comics list page displays OK, but when I click on links to individual comics, what usually comes up is a screenful of garbled text characters; there appears to be a bit of weather information at the top, but the rest is gibberish. I have JavaScript enabled, but not Java; Firefox handles the page OK with the same settings. I have tried enabling Java as well, but this makes no difference. Sometimes the page will display properly if I close it and reload it, but usually not. I haven’t run across any other site on the wwweb that gives me this problem. I am running Ubuntu Linux and have a number of browser options, but I just like Opera.

     Thanks for any advice!

104. True Fable
     June 3rd, 2008 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

     #101 Rusty – Those are Mary’s Power Packs of Meddle. She’s got to at least give the appearance of a human figure if a succubus hopes to get anywhere close enough to suck the life from a chosen victim, you know.

     See, I don’t even care if that is accurate action for a succubus. It is a workable solution for me and that is what I’m going for. :-)

105. cheech wizard
     June 3rd, 2008 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

     98/Muffaroo & 102/Ben – I’m not sure, but that might be the only time Schultz ever drew a cat in that strip – I don’t remember seeing this one first time around and I sure don’t recall seeing any in the collections. Anyone else have any insights on this?

106. True Fable
     June 4th, 2008 at 12:13 am [Reply]

     #105 cheech wizard – I never really followed Peanuts that much (omg, what heresy! unbeliever!! UNBELIEVER!!) so I always thought when Snoopy referred to “that cat”, that it was a perpetually off-panel cat.

     Huh. Well, what do you know. See, that’s why I come here, for the enlightenment and snark, with a side order of twisted minds. mmmm.

107. Vakar
     June 4th, 2008 at 12:25 am [Reply]

     90 Thinks He’s Brenda Starr:

     Someone needs to come up with a delicious Jell-O treat featuring tiny prawns suspended in goo for just such an occasion.

     Thanks a lot, now I wont be able to eat fetuses without thinking of Jell-O. Bleagh!

108. Trixie Belden
     June 4th, 2008 at 2:07 am [Reply]

     #54 off-model & #59 Poteet – Yes! Add my name to the list of people who were disgusted by that witless GA story about the black cat. The cat wasn’t simply abandoned but had things thrown at it and was tossed off a moving wagon, IIRC. GA must die!!!

     #91 anonymous #92 Old School Allie Cat # 94 Tilaney # 99 commodorejohn
     Well, you could kind of see it coming. As I recall, there is some sort of important competition or concert coming up – I think it’s supposed to be in Europe – and some time ago it we were told that Amos would be performing in it and would have Isabel as his accompanist. This led Bernhart Kriegle (sp?) to decide that he wanted Edda as his accompanist. To spite Isabel, she agreed. I anticipate the next few weeks or months will have Brooke playing around with the possibility that perhaps either one or both of his now separated sweethearts will be seduced by their respective pursuing sexpots. This being Brooke, I don’t think he’ll go much of anywhere with the idea.

     When it comes to the Amos character I’ve always thought Brooke way, way overdoes the “nerdy yet sweet guy” characterization. He’s made a point of telling us that Amos is heterosexual, and supposedly he and Edda were soul mates who were waiting until marriage to consummate their love. Even given that, I’ve always thought it was weired how whenever Isabel made one of her voracious passes at him, his reaction was never anything but goggle-eyed, uncomprehending terror. Always. Never “flattered or even perhaps mildly titillated, but too in love with someone else to really be interested”; just terror. It’s supposed to show how pure and sweet Amos is, but it just makes him seem feeble -minded.

109. dale
     June 4th, 2008 at 2:17 am [Reply]

     True Fable

     There is an unseen cat living next door. It can reach out far enough to take a paw shaped chunk out of Snoopy’s doghouse.

     The cat we’ve been seeing is the only one I can remember in decades of reading Peanuts.

110. mojo
     June 4th, 2008 at 6:09 am [Reply]

     I was gonna say, “Didn’t Frieda have a cat?” because I recall a childhood friend had a poster of Frieda holding a cat flopped in her arms. But I decided to read the comic first, so as not to look like a total doofus, and hey! There’s Frieda’s cat, just as I remembered it. So it was “famous” enough to make a poster in the early 70s.

     Frieda’s cat was NOT the Cat Next Door, which was very violent and intimidating toward Snoopy (and never seen, as far as I know, although once I remember him taking a swipe at Snoopy and damaging his doghouse). Frieda’s cat was always carried around, flopped in her arms.

     We had a similar cat when we were kids, who just sort of lay there as we little kids dragged him about the house. (I used to put him in a pillow case and sling him over my shoulder as “pirate treasure”, so it’s a wonder the poor animal survived, but he never seemed to mind the abuse and lived to be sixteen. So go figure.)

     Today’s strip with the cat opening its eyes was the most activity I’ve ever seen associated with it. Mostly it just lay there flopped.

     Of course, Peanuts predates me by about twelve or thirteen years, and predates my reading the comics by almost twenty years, so I’m hardly an authority. But my Favorite Younger Sister gave me the first two volumes of the Fantagraphics collection for Christmas, and there’s LOTS of things I didn’t know, with lots more coming, I’m sure, as I fill out the collection (hint hint).

     A sequence of Sunday strips in Volume II depicts Charlie Brown and Lucy in a golf tournament, surrounded by … ADULTS. From the waist down. I kid you not. Freaky!

111. Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
     June 4th, 2008 at 10:30 am [Reply]

     mojo-

     In an interview once, Charles Schultz said something along the lines of, he can’t draw cats, he tried to include a cat in the strip early on, and it wasn’t right, so he dropped it. That was Frieda’s cat Faron. Later on we had “World War II”, the cat next door, who was always offstage.

     Similarly, he refers in an interview to those early strips with Charlie Brown and Lucy surrounded by adults, and how he realized that wasn’t a good idea, and never did it again.

112. Lez Patterson
     June 4th, 2008 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

     http://www.fborfw.com/strip_fix/archives/003189.php

     Yeah right. There is no teen, in the history of ever, that hears about a friend’s unfettered use of her parents’ credit card and thinks “Wow, Mom, what fine financial prudence you’ve shown in limiting my spending habits.” Much more likely thought: “Hmph. Anyway, you’ll never be able to hoist those Seven jeans over your cankles. Skank.”

113. Albert Camus
     June 4th, 2008 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

     I am stunned, honored, and not an existentialist, no matter what Jean-Paul says.

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