The Comics Curmudgeon

52 responses to “Metapost: In like a comment of the week!”

1. Rocky Stoneaxe
   March 1st, 2013 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

   After 1500 years, Broom-Hilda finally got involved in a threesome.

   March 1, 2013 is also National Pig Day. Unfortunately, the sight of Jeffy’s
   pork butt in Friday’s Family Circus has turned me into a vegan for life.

   Congrats to this week’s winners™!

2. Rocky Stoneaxe
   March 1st, 2013 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

   Fred Basset — Time to put another log dog on the fire!

   Tundra — A half-naked Smokey Bear and Winnie the Pooh trade fashion tips.

   I read Tundra in my deadtree copy of today’s Tampa Bay Times. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find an online source for Chad Carpenter’s strip. Can anyone help?

3. bourbon babe, unbuckled
   March 1st, 2013 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

   Congrats, float-folk! Quite a small an exclusive group this week!

4. Baka Gaijin
   March 1st, 2013 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

   @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#3): I agree on both counts. This week Josh had better have finished at least 2 more chapters…

5. Baka Gaijin
   March 1st, 2013 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

   @Rocky Stoneaxe (#2) on Tundra: Chad’s done an excellent job of keeping Tundra off the Internet. His website has older comics.

6. Sequitur
   March 1st, 2013 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

   @Rocky Stoneaxe (#2): & @Baka Gaijin (#5): Tundra can be found here. I don’t know how old these strips are; there doesn’t seem to be a date on it.

7. Cassandra Cat's Lawyer
   March 1st, 2013 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

   Dear Diary….

   Today I made the Comics Curmudgeon’s COTW short list!

   That makes it official. As of right now, I’m giving up my very promising research on eradicating all known diseases from the face of the Earth, and focusing my energies on winning the coveted “Comment Of The Week” award. Accordingly, I must get in prime snarking shape…

   Perhaps I should purchase the collected works of Brooke McEldowny and practice making comments about each and every cartoon?

8. tallyHO
   March 1st, 2013 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

   Congrats to Cloudbuster and to…waitasec?

   Cloudbuster is leading the Floats? Well, may the guidance of Cloudbuster lead the parade of wittiness on a week-long, fun field trek that delights all who may witness it.

   May it not rain on the parade!

   HUZZAH!

   // ^sorry about that. It wasn’t an exclamation as much as I was clearing my throat. I’ve been hanging around Professor Heathcliff and have developed hairballs. Oh. Should I have kept that to myself? TMI?

9. Elk Meadow
   March 1st, 2013 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

   *****************
   Congrats, floaters!
   *****************

   Am I the only one to notice that Mary’s new target has the last name “Harpman”?

   Is it because he’s an angel, or someone who nags at people?

10. Droopy Says
    March 1st, 2013 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    Congratulations to all the floaters!

    Josh posted Luann in yesterthread, so I don’t count seeing that as a violation of my New Year’s resolution. So. When I saw the expression on the male deGroot’s “face,” I thought it meant he was drowning in his own puke.

    Mark Trail: Can it please hurry up and be Sunday?

    Creepy Les: Um, Coach Bullshitka, I know exactly as much as you and Batiuk put together know about sports and coaching (zero plus zero equals zero). But at a guess, coaching doesn’t involve throwing tantrums during a game or grumbling about failure afterward. It involves learning about a sport, and learning how a team operates, and watching your players, and watching the other players, and advising your players on how to avoid their weaknesses while exploiting their strengths. In other words, you aren’t a loser because you no longer have those two stellar players who were mean-spirited enough to graduate. It’s because you can’t do your job of coaching a bunch of average kids. Which is what the other coaches win with.

11. Zerowolf
    March 1st, 2013 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to Cloudbuster and this weeks floaters.

12. Zerowolf
    March 1st, 2013 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#yy281): You sure do know our Mary. You nailed that one.

13. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    March 1st, 2013 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#12): Let’s hope the follow-up also happens!

    —

    Congrats to the floaters!

14. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 1st, 2013 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    @Elk Meadow (#9): Am I the only one to notice that Mary’s new target has the last name “Harpman”?

    His name was originally “Tomas Harpmentsh” *, but he had it legally changed to Tom Harpman after he went into show business got the Mary Worth gig.

    *mentsh is Yiddish for “human being”

15. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 1st, 2013 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#5): I’ve come to the same conclusion, Baka. Apparently, Chad Carpenter self-syndicates Tundra, so he’s managed to keep the newer strips off the web.

    @Sequitur (#6): Please see my response to Baka Gaijin above.

16. Liam
    March 1st, 2013 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    BC/MT-Teach a man to fish and some horrid mutant child will constantly ask you to take him fishing.

    BC/MT 2-Teach a man to fish and then you can accuse him of cheating when he catches more and bigger fish than you.

17. Majicou
    March 1st, 2013 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    Long live the floaters!

    Lio: Still better than Montoni’s.

    R==R: Rose? Rose, this is a safe place. You can be honest here. Now, Rose, when you talk to the bird, does she tell you to do things? Maybe things that you know are bad?

    WoI: Really, this would be funny if I hadn’t seen it so many, many times. Still, the mere fact that such a joke got into this ancient-ass legacy strip is pretty impressive.

    Ziggy: The sad part is that’s actually Ziggy’s own dining room.

18. Ratiocinator
    March 1st, 2013 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    Grats to everybody!

    @Droopy Says (#10):
    

    But at a guess, coaching doesn’t involve throwing tantrums during a game or grumbling about failure afterward.

    As somebody who’s watched his share of basketball even if he isn’t paying much attention this year, I can tell you that some coaches are relaxed while others aren’t. The ones who aren’t will yell at the ref if they feel a bad call was made, or yell at one or more of their players if it looks like they’re half-assing it in a way that might cost them the game.

    One example I remember was when a guy named Kevin O’Neill watch coaching the Raptors during one of their (many) losing seasons, and he was trying to get the team to emphasize defense like the Detroit Pistons of the early 2000s (where he’d been part of the coaching staff as I recall). So I remember reading an article in an honest-to-Jebus dead tree newspaper that described how he’d be yelling at the players “GET BACK! GET BACK!” after they scored, meaning “Hey guys, it’s great that you just scored and all, but if you don’t move your asses and GET BACK down the court to get in the way of the other team, they’re gonna get two points of their own, and WE DON’T WANT THEM TO DO THAT!”

    O’Neill didn’t turn around the Raptors’ fortunes. Whether that was because of his approach, the players he had, or both is anybody’s guess.

19. Jamus The Bartender
    March 1st, 2013 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    @Cassandra Cat’s Lawyer (#7): Perhaps I should purchase the collected works of Brooke McEldowny and practice making comments about each and every cartoon?

    Congratulations on making the float. The above sounds like a fine idea. Oh, could you stop by and file an injunction so Cassandra can have her tracking collar removed by St. Patricks Day? Thanks.

20. Jamus The Bartender
    March 1st, 2013 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    Oh, and congratulations to everyone else, as well.

    Luann and Tiffany….Makin’ Out!: Now THIS is some nasty.

    Spider-Man and Daredevil….Together: Yeah, did anyone ask if that missile was made by Justin Hammer? Because according to the second Iron Man movie, he can’t build weapons for sh*t.

    Jeffy’s Big Fat Ass: At least I think that’s Jeffy bothering Bil. I’m assuming anyway. Billy is too smart to bother Daddy like that, Dolly would be helping with lunch, and PJ can’t talk yet. Also, Uncle Roy isn’t allowed within fifty feet of the house.

    Rex, June and The Strippers: Next week. Rex and June get arrested for solicitation and Honey meets the man of her dreams….IN THE HOLE!

    Rufus an’ Becky….Together Forever An’ Ever: Oh dear Lord in heaven…

    The Strip Cassandra Cat used to be in a lot, but twice a year tops now: Oh, hey, Buster Bear is back, looking for change, yaaayyy…

21. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    March 1st, 2013 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#14): <Pedant>Mensch is the Yiddish word for “human being” (“man,” really).</Pedant>

22. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    March 1st, 2013 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#14): Well now, don’t I feel dumb. Coulda sworn your comment said “Hebrew.” Disregard, and pass that dunce cap over here.

23. seismic-2
    March 1st, 2013 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    @Elk Meadow (#9): Am I the only one to notice that Mary’s new target has the last name “Harpman”?

    No, I noticed that too. Of course, all of us ‘Mudges were secretly hoping that he would turn out to be Harpo Marx, but that would have been just too good to be true.

24. Baka Gaijin
    March 1st, 2013 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#6): Wooooo! Current Tundra! I’ve looked back to the beginning of the year in the past few minutes. I fear nothing will get done this weekend, I don’t know why but I just have that feeling.

    PS-That’s a big “Thanks!” to Sequitur.

25. yaoi huntress earth
    March 1st, 2013 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    @Cassandra Cat’s Lawyer (#7): Could you imagine if Brooke had creator’s commentary in his treasuries like Pastis does. The comments would take half the page.

26. tallyHO
    March 1st, 2013 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth is missing some awesome story possibilities.

    She really needs to meet someone who tries to out-meddle her.

    Just look at Mary in panel two. She’s so dang smug that someone needs to wipe the smug off her mug and leave her S hanging.

    Am I right?

    What are we gonna do about?

    Snark!
    Say it again!

27. Peanut Gallery
    March 1st, 2013 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – I can’t find it now, but wasn’t there another strip recently where the “solution” was to tell someone to go into the catering business? I think maybe it was Bea in the Judge Parker marijuana-farm story. Apparently, comic strip artists think that anyone can become a caterer at the drop of a hat.

28. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 1st, 2013 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to the COTWers. Well done!

29. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 1st, 2013 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    @Elk Meadow (#9): Hartmann?

    oh, HarPman.

    nm.

30. kanomi
    March 1st, 2013 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    I will never get COTW because my comments are moronic, even Mary Worthian in their uselessness. Fair enough. But if it is because I don’t don’t donate, well I don’t donate because I won’t use PayPal, not ever. They are a rotten outfit that knuckles under to mafias like the RIAA, they are abysmal when it comes to securing private info (they simply don’t care, and sorry I am not poor and I am not exposing my credit info and email to those incompetent lackeys), and they are utterly vile when it comes to privacy and consumer protection.

    I would be happy to donate to this site otherwise, it’s one of the few sites on the Internet I genuinely enjoy. I also like Drew’s Toothpaste For Dinner site and I bought some t-shirts from them, as presents for my family. So my family has to wear Drew’s t-shirts to prove their love to me. They are standing around in 19th Century clip art with hipster captions, crying softly.

    While they cry, I chastise them and tell them they are supporting some fat people in Ohio who hate America. They kind of dance half-heartedly, like Sims 2 sims who are shy and dance badly.

    OK, just kidding about that last part.

    This site is actually funnier than Toothpaste For Dinner (and both sites are way funnier than Cracked.com, which is getting way too preachy — can David Wong be even more of an Establishment mouthpiece tool? — and let’s not even talk about the Onion, which died when it got bought by heartless mercenaries and moved to New York).

    So yeah, Internet comedy struggles. I want to support the indie stuff. I think Josh also has some T-shirt sales affiliations but they are not very good products so far. Nobody outside this blog will understand “More Zippers, mule!” but you should partner with the actual comic syndicates to sell actual Mary Worth, Judge Parker, etc. shirts.

    If I could buy a simple Mary Worth t-shirt through Amazon or some other faceless corporation that would be okay. And yes I know Amazon is also slaver. You can’t always win in a psychopathic tyranny.

    So tl;dr make it easier to support this site outside PayPal.

    Thanks for reading.

31. Peanut Gallery
    March 1st, 2013 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#Y63):

    Non Sum Qualis Eram Bonae sub Regno Cynarae.

    “I am not what I was under the rule of Good ARTICHOKE”?

    That’s how Google Translate has it.

32. CanuckDownSouth
    March 1st, 2013 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    @yaoi huntress earth (#25): You mean you’ve managed to forget the (Mozart-switch? mercifully it dims in memory) rerun story? Because that’s exactly what he did.

33. seismic-2
    March 1st, 2013 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#32): Yeah, that one was truly ignominious, even by Brooke’s standards. Every day’s Glibporn was accompanied by Brooke’s seemingly endless commentary about just how wonderful that day’s story and art both were. Every now and then he would bemoan his having to endure the stupid letters from his critics, who fail to appreciate art of the highest level because they are beefwits and yahoos. The “theme” of the Mozart story was that during his lifetime the composer was never fully appreciated as the genius that he was. The not at all subtle context, of course, was “I know just how that feels, Wolfgang. You and me, Wolfy, you and me.”

34. Droopy Says
    March 1st, 2013 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#18): Hm. Yeah, I managed to forget about those coaching hissy-fits that make it onto the news every so often. But as for the FW approach to sports, the coaches seem to rely on assorted forms of incompetence and nothing but incompetence. It may be Batiuk’s idea of comedy but it’s a lot more annoying than it is funny.

35. zerowolf
    March 1st, 2013 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#13): Pretentious platitudes and amorphic aphorisms full speed ahead.

36. Uncle Lumpy
    March 1st, 2013 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

    @kanomi (#30):

    Sorry, but the creator of Nature Punchman Go! gets a lifetime permanent eternal funny pass, COTW or no.

    BTW, fund-raisers always have options for check, cash, or in-kind contributions.

37. Elk Meadow
    March 2nd, 2013 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#23):

    Sorry, didn’t see yours yesterday. Got to the party too soon.

38. Droopy Says
    March 2nd, 2013 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    Spiderbi: Of course, MJ, when he comes home to you he’ll be singing “I Left My Heart In San Francisco.”

    Mock Travail: A little louder, please, Rusty, otherwise Mr. Catfish and Mr. Bassy might miss their cue to abuduct you.

    Creepy Les: I’m sure there’s a comment to be made, but this is too boring to deserve attention.

    Family Circus: Getting the kids out of he hose won’t help Bil feel better, but it will make it easier for Thel to tell him that his “illness” is really sympathetic morning sickness.

    Phantom: The end? Now you’re toying with us, Walker, like a cat with a mouse.

    Pluggers: At least he’ll look more pregnant than the bride. Pluggers know how to distract everyone at those socially awkward moments.

39. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    March 2nd, 2013 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    Pibgorn is FUCKING SICK, in a bad way! That is all.

40. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    March 2nd, 2013 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#38):

    Re MT: Golly, who’d a guessed?!

41. jim, some guy in iowa
    March 2nd, 2013 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#39): it’s the intersection of art and dismemberment porn. a really terrible neighborhood

42. Droopy Says
    March 2nd, 2013 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#40): We still have to guess how Trail will handle an abduction. Will he call The Authorities? If so, will he use a phone that has a dial or a crank? Or will he take matters into his own hands and unleash the Fists Of Justice? The possibilities are limited only by the Elrod Clpart Archives.

43. Dale
    March 2nd, 2013 at 2:28 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    Is this comic strip supposed to be a positive influence on children?
    Snooping may have worked for the Hardy Boys, but in real life it’s a bad idea.
    Even in horror flicks, the dumber / less attractive kids get killed off.

44. Dale
    March 2nd, 2013 at 2:45 am [Reply]

    GIL THORP

    Now the team knows there is an actual peacock running around the neighborhood.
    Shouldn’t they still be concerned that Scott thought it was his dead brother?
    Maybe the bird was inspirational only as long as it was in the fig between Scott’s ears.

45. Baka Gaijin
    March 2nd, 2013 at 3:57 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#26): Been there, done that. Mary had competition. Mary banished competition. In between, competition meddled Mary.

    Below are a few interesting strips I found while researching this answer:
    Mary leaves Charterstone.
    Mary prunes roses.
    Aldomania!
    Aldomania bummer.
    Charley!
    Charley’s swinging bachelor pad.
    Wilbur celebrates! Note: not related to sandwiches or kite flying.
    The Great Gildersleeve lives!

46. Baka Gaijin
    March 2nd, 2013 at 4:03 am [Reply]

    More interesting strips from the past:

    Slim asks a favor.
    Emergency box?
    Randy Parker, judicial candidate.
    Fried Froid.
    Mrs. Morgan finds a garage cleaner.
    Red Spandex Cosplay.
    They actually printed this in family newspapers?

47. Droopy Says
    March 2nd, 2013 at 6:19 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#43): I don’t think Rusty is meant as a role model for children. I think his target audience is the same people who read those Jack Chick tracts: “Evolution, huh? Let’s see you explain Rusty!”

48. gleeb
    March 2nd, 2013 at 6:37 am [Reply]

    ‘bean: Bull Bushka admits his ability to train is nugatory; he needs ringers to win. Credit where it’s due: the shadows in the first panel are competently done. But, if the game just ended and the lot is full of cars, where’s everybody else?

49. Liam
    March 2nd, 2013 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    A3G-Why not? We’re not going to be getting any sort of resolution on it at the pace we are going

    FC-It will give Mommy plenty of time to get rid of his dead body.

    MT-Because they like to go diving when they aren’t fishing, Rusty. People can do more than one thing.

    MW-”So tell me about your mother,” Mary asks going into full on pseudo-pyschological counselor mode.

50. Liam
    March 2nd, 2013 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    MW-”All I want to do is to feast on your soul as you tell me every little detail of your life. Slowly I will drain you until you are one of my followers.”

51. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 2nd, 2013 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#31): Hah! Interesting.

    My reference was to the poem by Ernest Dowson. “I have been faithful to thee, in my fashion.” The title is from Horace, I think.

52. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 2nd, 2013 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#51): I’ll never think of the poem the same now.

    // And I’m starting to wonder about Horace. Was “artichoke” some sexy nickname?

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