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Metapost: Let’s get all comment-y of the week-y

Your comment of the week this week definitely falls into the category of “Wow, I wish I had written this for my own commentary”:

Heathcliff’s hot air balloon rises into the clouds. He doesn’t look back. ‘He never overstays his welcome,’ says a woman wearing a skirt and blouse the exact color of her neighbor’s house. She has no hands. A white cat stands on two legs. Fin.” –Nate

The runners up are pretty funny as well!

“Beating up Snuffy is one thing, and probably understandable within the honor code of Hoot’n Holler. But taking the time to separately beat up his hat? That’s just cruel.” –Francisco Arrowroot

‘Lasercane’? What, Kingpin misplaced his Bifocals of Fury?” –NotThatGuy

“Look at Marvin’s parents: they can’t even look at one another! Another comics couple being held together only by the whimsy of syndication and a repartee of open contempt.” –Black Drazon

“I’ve started reading Marvin’s (and only his) dialogue in my head using Morgan Freeman’s voice. And I’m glad I did.” –Damien

“Sure, Peter. Your old high school science teacher would be proud. The one who took you to a leaky nuclear reactor and let a spider bite you.” –Lorne

“Cherry doesn’t have to outclimb the mama grizzly; she just has to outclimb Shelley. And the fire, I suppose.” –Doctor Handsome

“I’m reading today’s Mary Worth as though Marie is being sarcastic and now she’s my new favourite character. ‘Did I stutter, bitch? Are you DEAF? YOU! MUST! BE! GLAD! THAT! BETH! HAS! A! BOYFRIEND! YOU! OLD! BAT! I have had it up to HERE with this shit!’” –Roto13

“They all thought it was cute, maybe even a little clever, when Coach Thorp started letting disputes on his team be settled in a fake ‘court.’ Three executions later, when Thorp was sitting in the principal’s chair and his ‘jury’ was running the school, they finally understood their mistake.” –Voshkod

Glad is not the word for it. ‘Elderly Nicholas Cage’ is.” –blah

I. BET. TOM. IS. A. GENEROUS. LOVER!” –revenge4Aldo

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

37 responses to “Metapost: Let’s get all comment-y of the week-y”

  1. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    May 24th, 2013 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    Funny stuff folks! Congrats!

  2. Shrug
    May 24th, 2013 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    Congratulations to all the Float riders! Throw rifles!

    (Unless bears show up, in which case maybe not the best idea.)

  3. Lord Copulous
    May 24th, 2013 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    THOSE. ARE. SOME. GREAT. COMMENTS!

  4. KreatureFeatures
    May 24th, 2013 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    I had not seen Lorne’s comment before, and I deem it awesome. Also, revenge4Aldo’s comment is continual source of delight.

  5. Mr. Yezpitelok
    May 24th, 2013 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    Seven days without a COTW makes one weak… congrats people! And now it’s time for another thrill-packed episode of:

    The Unbelievable Mr. Ripley — At the “Pigs of God” Contest in Taiwan, farmers compete to raise the fattest pig (some of which can weigh more than 2,000 pounds!). Not mentioned: The fattest pig at the weigh-in is then sacrificed to local Taoist god Zushi-Ye.

    Any last words before we sacrifice you to our god?

    Th-th-th-that’s all folks!

  6. Poteet
    May 24th, 2013 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    Very excellent work, Nate and the float-riders! The asterisk goes to revenge4Aldo, although the image conjured up by that comment is brain-melting.

  7. Peanut Gallery
    May 24th, 2013 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    Kudos to Nate for that surreal COTW!

  8. Poteet
    May 24th, 2013 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    MW — Somehow, at some point, for some reason, a powerful evil spell was cast on Charterstone by a demonic hairdresser. Nothing else can explain what we see on the heads of the residents. *shudder*

  9. commodorejohn
    May 24th, 2013 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    I wish I were reading this in a dank Bohemian coffee shop, so I could have everybody snap their fingers appreciatively for that fine piece by Nate. Bravo, sir, and bravo to the excellent runners-up as well!

  10. tallyHO
    May 24th, 2013 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    I’d like to
    Congratulate
    The Wordsmith Nate
    And all of the
    Great
    Float
    ers.

    @commodorejohn (#9):
    snap snap snap

  11. bats :[
    May 24th, 2013 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    [insert bongo drum solo here for Nate and all the other cool cats]

  12. Heathcliff
    May 24th, 2013 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    (chimes in with a flute)

  13. Pet Store Owner
    May 24th, 2013 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

  14. Mr. Yezpitelok
    May 24th, 2013 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

  15. Calico
    May 24th, 2013 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    Roto13, thanks for many laughs today!

  16. Calico
    May 24th, 2013 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    Dood YT #125 – Hell yeah.

  17. Elk Meadow
    May 24th, 2013 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#8):

    I remember in 1984, I was living in a apartment complex that was basically studios and one rooms, and many of the occupants were seniors. That was the last time I saw these old women style hairdos that were so common in my childhood, until Beth and her mom moved in. And to look at the woman at the mailboxes, I wonder if there is a big come-back going on.

  18. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to the floaters!

  19. Nehemiah Scudder, cheaper by the dozens.
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#Y112): Archie: The Simpsons premiered December 17, 1989, which is coincidentally the last time Nehemiah Scudder changed his underwear.

    Stay classy, Rt. Ven.!

    // The Right Venerable’s maternal relation is so morbidly obese that she had to stop going to the beach. Every time she came back to shore from a swim, well meaning folks kept pushing her back out to sea.

    // Very funny floaters around here too. I am presently away from Scudder Manse, on business, but I should be back to posting more regularly, soon.

  20. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    Congrats, float folk. There really is a lot of funny here.

  21. Elk Meadow
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    ***********************
    Congrats, floaters!
    ***********************

  22. I speak Jive
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    @queek (YY57) – Those knitting needles are upside down.

  23. tallyHO
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    That look on that Gasoline Alley Pig’s face:

    It took me a while but now I recognize it.
    It is the same expression that is on my face after I’ve eaten bacon! Curse me for admiring my greasy afterglow in the mirror! But, man! Bacon make me bust out the top hat and put on the tails! Yowzah!

  24. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder, cheaper by the dozens. (#19): Somebody’s got to put a little ring-a-ding-ding in this place, you know?

  25. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    Excellent collection of COTW! Congrats, float-folk!

  26. Poteet
    May 25th, 2013 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    9CL — So what’s the next step, turning into maenads and tearing Sven to pieces?

  27. yr obt servt
    May 25th, 2013 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    The women of 9CL have plunged into an icy cold lake to temper their collective lust for a giant hunk named Sven. Who was involved in the rescue of a cow from her owner. Who seemed to want to scoop up the aforesaid cow with his front end loader, amongst other hijinx.

    I have lost the context at this point, but my point is…
    How is this is less bat shit insane than anything else in the comics right now?

  28. Dick Martin
    May 25th, 2013 at 12:51 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#26): Followers of Bacchus? I’ll drink to that!

  29. Doctor Handsome
    May 25th, 2013 at 5:33 am [Reply]

    DAAAAAMN, THAT SHIT IS DOPE!

  30. gleeb
    May 25th, 2013 at 5:47 am [Reply]

    3-G: A rough time, I can believe. Life’s not easy for a girl drawn like Arte Johnson.

    ‘bean: Maybe it’s nothing to do with teevee at all. Maybe these two are in an assault racket. Goad some yahoo into assault in a public place, then sue him into penury. Durwood’s a good choice, because his app-writing limbs can’t do serious damage, but a bad choice because he’s already reduced to living above a crappy pizza joint in Cancerdeathville, O.

    Sam Driver’s Controlled Emotions!: He’s so tired his nipples have gone all pale.

    Rex: Ya hear that, Mark Rothko, ya big candy-ass? I hope this is the real story; seeing wee Sarah brought down a couple notches would be amusing.

    Spidey: I guess the baby-blue jacket is coated with lubricant.

  31. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 25th, 2013 at 6:35 am [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#22): presactly.

  32. Nate
    May 25th, 2013 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    Wow! I finally got the COTW! It’s true what they say: it’s lonely at the top.

  33. Blynneda
    May 29th, 2013 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    I for one would like to see all Heathcliff strips described in this way.

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