The Comics Curmudgeon

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Metapost: Comments of the week, for you, my friends!

Hey everyone, without further ado, it’s time for your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“I think we can safely add Ziggy’s cat to the list of pets he’s having sex with. Someone is keeping this list, right? Not it.” –Cranky

And the many runners up! Man, they are funny.

“Mark Trail’s sex fantasies look like the Boy Scout handbook, sharing a distinctive style characterized by (1) a wealth of informative facts arranged into short, neat paragraphs and (2) a complete absence of sex.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“No, Luann, it doesn’t make you cattle, but it does put you in the 98th pay percentile of prostitutes for your state.” –sugarpie

“Rex looks very Montgomery Clift in Panel 3, I must say. And very Joan Crawford in Panel 2. Neither bode well for June, or explain Sarah.” –teddytoad

“Sam decides that it is finally time to teach Sophie his own technique for dealing with being smarter than everyone else: emotional disengagement, boredom, and condescension. Remember, Sophie, arrogance is more than a social handicap, it’s a psychological defense mechanism!” –Master Softheart

“Thus begins yet another bloodsoaked chapter in ‘Officer’ Tracy’s genocidal campaign against the hideously deformed. And yet the Keane kids with their oversized melon heads somehow escape your homicidal rage. Why God? Why!!!?” –Sunny Mel Blatherscythe

“Who would intentionally leave their son on a cruise ship? By the way, which celebrity do I look like when I make this face? I’ll give you a hint, it’s not NOT Joan Rivers.” –Amanda M

“I think Elmo might be excused for some confusion as to Dagwood’s antiquity, given that the latter is strolling jauntily down the street in a dashing cerulean frock coat carrying an old-timey washboard.” –Violet

“Panel 3 looks to me like Matt Damon & Ben Affleck are hanging out, waiting for an opportunity to show Marty their screenplay for Good Will Hunting 3: Have Good, Will Hunt.” –bobk

“I blame panel 1 on all the cutbacks the newspapers have been making. The editors refuse to give the artist enough room for the art, so these poor high school students are forced into a panel that’s much too small for them. Ultimately, I blame Craigslist.” –PeteMoss

“I love how [Dick Tracy] creates suspense. You have to wait several days just to find out what simple English phrases mean. It’s like if the dictionary had a ‘To be continued’ tag.” –Donald the Anarchist

“Notice how no one in that fancy schmancy restaurant is reflected in the mirror on the wall? Either they’re all vampires and that really IS blood in Mary’s glass, or the mirror just can’t bring itself to double the number of HIDEOUS outfits those diners are wearing. Geez, is that girl still wearing a sweaty warm-up jacket?” –Charterstoned

“The whole abusive husband plus wife with a deer thing in Mark Trail reminds of a story by Arthur Machen or Saki or someone like that. The husband ends up getting impaled.” –Mr. O’Malley

“Mark is taking this news about an emotionally-abusive, violent husband with remarkable calm. I bet he’d have that same expression if he came home and found Cherry lying dead on the floor. He’d call 911, but his mouth would still retain that firm half-smile, the one that says Death is just another bad guy with facial hair.” –Poteet

“Lynn looks like she’s pretty much done with being grief stricken. One victory, and she forgets all about .. you know, what’s his name … dead kid?” –buckyswife

“I like the way Summer, in her own fit of depression about being the second banana on the team, decides that she’s going to drag everyone down with her. Today, it’s Les and the spectre of death. Tomorrow: ‘Hey Funky — do you miss the alcohol-induced haze?’ Next day: ‘Hi Harry, do you miss the sense of hear — I SAID HI HARRY! YES, HELLO! I SAID THAT TO YOU.’” –blammers66

“What exactly is Lois complaining about when she says ‘No lights’ (I’ll just ignore the fact that she’s looking directly at a light while saying it)? No light means that she temporarily doesn’t have to see the rest of her family’s hair, which can only be a good thing.” –peabody

“Dennis’ grasp on reality is bizarrely inconsistent. Note how, even though he’s asleep, he realizes his mother would think her neighbour’s behaviour is strange at best, yet later he is content to make believe it’s still the ’50s, ice cream is still sold in ‘shoppes,’ and Dennis the Menace is still relevant.” –Black Drazon

“OH MY GOD! Margo is an undercover agent hunting the enemies of the Chinese Government! This explains EVERYTHING! Although the modern Chinese government isn’t nearly cruel enough to justify their having Margo in their arsenal. My guess is the storyline is about to involve a time machine, the Cultural Revolution, and a necklace made of skulls. In a subplot, Tommie will attend a movie by herself.” –Lettuce

“I really did think the first panel of Trail was a joke between a cow and a deer. ‘What’s the difference between antlers and horns?’ ‘Gee, Bessie, I don’t know?’ (ribald punchline follows)” –Shmork

“About the only thing Electro’s outsized headgear is good for is preventing him from making a dramatic entrance through a normal door into any room. Maybe he has French doors at home. Maybe that’s why all his crimes are outside.” –trey le parc

“I, for one, embrace our new Laugh Unit overlord as he/it nears fully loaded status. I have prepared the sides and back of my scalp with a hot waffle iron in anticipation.” –migellito

And hey, I must as always give big ups to those who put some scratch in my tip jar — you know who you are! And our advertisers know that they too are great:

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This entry was posted on Monday, February 2, 2009 at 07:18 pm and is filed under metaposts.

117 responses to “Metapost: Comments of the week, for you, my friends!”

True Fable
February 2nd, 2009 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

Yay! Congratulations to Cranky and all the float riders!
Muffaroo
February 2nd, 2009 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

9CL – O. Henry? O. Fucking Henry? The Gift of the Fucking Magi? Hey, maybe next week you could do Treasure Fucking Island (and by “week,” I mean “six months”). Hey, here’s an idea! Steal your plots from something other than what has been the most often anthologized short story in the history of American literature, dickhead!

Archie – Hello to you, too. I’m tempted to say something vicious, but it’s only because I’m still irked with Dickweed Lane, so I’ll let it go. But I will point out that that isn’t Betty in the last panel: It’s Breathless Mahoney. (Sorry, the only pictures I can find online are of Madonna, who has nothing to do with what I’m talking about.)

C2Home – Huh. Even the weak drawing can’t make this one unamusing. Full marks awarded.

Cshaft – Years ago, I likened punning to farting, and in the case of this strip, I believe the analogy is dead on. The look on ’shaft’s face whenever he cranks one out is clearly a challenge. “Smell this, dork!” he seems to say. “Nice one, eh?” It’s evidently a cry for help, in the sense of the word “help” that means “please kill me.”

HtHorrible – If wishes really came true, this would be three empty panels. Maybe the tree. Sigh.

MFmore – Oh, boy! Monday again! Time to go down to the showroom and watch them unveil Mallard’s joke for the week. Okay, there it is: it’s another take on the 2009 classic, “The Press is Way Too Soft on Obama (Just as They Were Merciless with Bush).” I was hoping for something newish, but okay. Say, wouldn’t it just save a lot of work for everyone involved to run the strip on Mondays and let some other strip have it the rest of the time?

MTrail – Mark has an ace in the hole! He quickly turns away and inks a mustache on his fist with a Sharpie! If the judges don’t disqualify it, this could make history!

NSeq – You know, I’m almost certain there was a time when the sight of Danae in the strip didn’t make me groan and forego any hopes I had for amusement. Can any other readers remember this far back?

Phantom – The Phantom’s attempts to help the Croccos end abruptly when they start trying to kill him, having mistaken his stripey arse for a “zeeba.”

Oh, and congratulations, etc., etc.
Trix
February 2nd, 2009 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

Having been so proud of my disgusting #1 comment concerning Crankshafts bowel movements (which many mudges concurred with) I am not in the least surprised that I’m not riding the float. It wasn’t really very amusing compared to the hilarity of all the float riders. At least I didn’t brag about being the first commenter. And I have been out of work for three months now. Giving me a lot more spare time to appreciate the Comics Curmudgeon et al.
christian
February 2nd, 2009 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

i’d say something funny but having no sense of humor i’ll just point out that yesterday’s mocked Spider-Man strip was pretty accurate as regarding Electro’s origins. hopefully it’ll go through all the classic villians – Sandman, Dr Ock, Chamelon, etc
Deena in OR
February 2nd, 2009 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

The context based ads that I’m seeing right now are for Teen Amphetamine Rehab, gifts that profit charities, and LGBT children’s services. What *are* we talking about ???
Ewald
February 2nd, 2009 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

Look at this!

Josh hits Slashdot!

jfruhlinger writes “If you use a Unix machine, it probably has a funny name. And if you work in an environment where there are multiple Unix machines, they probably have funny names that are variations on a theme. No, you’re not the only one! This article explores the phenomenon, showing that even the CIA uses a whimsical server naming scheme.” What are some of your best (worst?) naming schemes?
Uncle Lumpy
February 2nd, 2009 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

#6 Ewald –

Oh, well that explains the CC servers — June, Abby, and Margo.
One-eyed Wolfdog
February 2nd, 2009 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

Josh has so much god-damned Google juice that this page is currently the #2 hit for a search on The Gift of the Fucking Magi, about 40 minutes after that comment was made.
Deena in OR
February 2nd, 2009 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

@ #8

Now it’s number 1.
Saluki
February 2nd, 2009 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

I’m not convinced that the repeated appearance of the AJGLU30000 over the last several weeks is anything more than a coincidence. Now if a caricature of Josh wearing a Casandra Cat shirt were to appear I would be forced to rethink my position.

And if that’s to hard to draw I could live with Betty and Veronica wearing thongs.
Grandstanding Oddball
February 2nd, 2009 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

Congrats to all the COTWers. Nice snark this week. May David Denby not find out about any of you.
Uncle Lumpy
February 2nd, 2009 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

And let’s not forget Guy de Fucking Maupassant!
Steve the Pocket
February 2nd, 2009 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

#6: Fitting that this should be posted so soon after Josh’s attempt at naming someone else’s computer has generated frighteningly favorable responses.
Muffaroo
February 2nd, 2009 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

I just got back from Google, and boy, is my index finger tired! Seriously, ladies and germs, I input the magic phrase: “gift of the fucking Magi” and almost tried “I’m Feeling Lucky,” but then I was suddenly consumed with curiosity as to who else was using the phrase “gift of the fucking Magi.” So I looked, and there wasn’t anything there that was too impressive, but we were number one. Then I went back to Google, typed in “gift of the fucking Magi” again, and hit the “Lucky” button and got some wanker’s page. Clearly, he has set whatever feeble minions he has to try and recapture the flag. Okay, Mister I’ve-Forgotten-Your-Name-Already, it’s on.
monkey.dave
February 2nd, 2009 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

I think it’s great the Doritos Corp is still paying you for that “Have your commerical aired during the Superbowl” ad. They probably hired J.C. Dithers & Co to manage the campaign.
Master Softheart
February 2nd, 2009 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

Absolutely no disrespect intended to Cranky, but Poteet’s “Death is just another bad guy with facial hair” comment is transcendent. It gave me perhaps the only pure, unaffected, and joyful laugh I have enjoyed in the last week.

Upon reflection, this fact may reveal more about me than, strictly speaking, anyone here needs to know
Razmytaz
February 2nd, 2009 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

I thought some people might find this educational and informative page worth a read. Maybe Mr. Elrod has seen comment two because I haven’t lately seen much in the way of talking potatoes in Mark Trail.
Poteet
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:02 am [Reply]

Congratulations, Cranky! Enjoy your week of CC glory! And I appreciate the good laughs, funny floaters! It’s an honor to ride among you.

# 16 Master Softheart — Thank you, thank you for making my day. I’m sure that reveals something about me as well, but let’s not care:-).
christian
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:11 am [Reply]

#17 – the fact that there’s a ‘telepathic balloon’ on that site sums up why i love comics
Lisa
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:14 am [Reply]

I want a telepathic balloon! Think of the things you could learn from one!
PeteMoss
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:26 am [Reply]

Cranky, congratulations! You are this week’s champion of the Regionals. Good luck training for Nationals and eventually worlds and Olympics!

Hey, I squeaked a spot in the parade with all those very clever folks! Yay!

Shmork made me laugh tonight! So Ribald!
Trix
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:27 am [Reply]

#12 Uncle Lumpy…right on Guy de Maupassant. You have it going on. Trumps O’funking Henry by a long shot. You are my hero…
Cobra
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:29 am [Reply]

#2 re 9CL: Yeah, Gift of the Fucking Magi and all that. But while I get that Cletus (or whatever his name is) no longer has his first-edition Uncle Dutchie’s Bathroom Reader, rendering Edda’s silver case (what the hell is up with putting a book in a silver case??) gift worthless, what’s going to be the catch in the other direction? Did E have to sell her world-class piano-playing fingers (which are, in fact, not visible in panel 4) in order to purchase said silver case, thus making whatever-Cletus’-real-name-is’s perfect ring unwearable?

I certainly hope so.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:34 am [Reply]

Man, I love the Gift of the Fucking Magi and Guy de Fucking Maupassant.

I’m just whoring for Google rankings, I’ll admit it.

But seriously, my first thought in reading 9CL this morning was, Oh Hell No, I think less because of the over-borrowed plot device (from the Gift of the Fucking Magi) and more because Edda and Amos are going to spend another 7 months in Belgium, and the endpoint of this particular plot dance is speeding off toward the vanishing point.

You know that theory that say if you drop something, first it goes halfway to the ground, and then it goes half of the rest of the way, and then half of the rest of the way, and so on, but it never really hits the ground? That’s how I feel about 9CL at the moment.

Meanwhile, congrats to the COTWers, especially Lettuce, who made me laugh until I choked.
sugarpie
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:49 am [Reply]

Congratulations Cranky! and One Eyed Wolfdog, and Lettuce, and Poteet, and Amanda, and bob, and well… just everyone! Barkeep! Crackpipes for all my friends! AND! their horses!
Dr. Weird
February 3rd, 2009 at 1:07 am [Reply]

24 Li’l Bunnë FooFoo,

Your use of the theory here is flawed. Things DO hit the ground when you drop them though. The halvings continue on to infinity, but also get infinitely fast.

NOTHING moves infinitely fast in soap opera comics, or even plain old fast.
dyslexic dog
February 3rd, 2009 at 1:12 am [Reply]

#17 — Razmytaz:

Thanks effusively for the grand balloon site.

I was trying to visualize the cartoons from which the balloons were culled…especially the mouth-watering I DON’T KNOW, JASON. HE LOOKS DEAD TO – - KRUNCH

dd
Wawa, Ontario
Monkeyhawk
February 3rd, 2009 at 1:32 am [Reply]

I hate having a life.

I’ve cut down on my comics reading and I’ve cut down on my reading from the college of cardinals.

But I never miss COTW.

There’s gotta be a Mark Trail subtext to be explored. The facial-hairless thug of a husband reacted the same way it would have been if Mark had gotten his original photo-op with the deer in the house…in front of the fireplace… with Barry White on the hi-fi.

(Why to I think the deer will end up being named “Lucky”?)

“What’s the difference between antlers and horns?”

Have you ever felt “antlery?”

Cue the rim shot.

Try the waitress and tip the veal. I’m not here this week.
papa zita
February 3rd, 2009 at 1:49 am [Reply]

A3G: Um, Margo? What position was Nora in to do anything about that? When they bring Eric back in a plastic sack, I have a feeling you’ll let yourself off the hook.

MW: Victory lap, indeed. Get back to Charterstone, Mary. The Bum Boat needs you. Desperately.

Rex Morgan, Gas Passer: The twins are fighting to get out of June’s shirt. Let’s stay with her and forget all about Rex, hmm?
True Fable
February 3rd, 2009 at 1:50 am [Reply]

Canadian Zombie Oh for the love of God…! What the HELL is with you, Lynn Johnston? Is it now your personal quest to completely destroy whatever is left of all your ancillary characters’ dignities so they are left like Connie: a mere blathering, whiny, needy shell of a neighbor who has to claw and beg for a morsel of attention from Elly’s slacker brother? What, she can’t get a date in Milborough? NO? Not even down at the high school? Not even with the bread delivery guy at the Quick-StopMart? Hell, can’t she even HIRE a guy to re-upholster her personal interior at the Wonder Garage That Was Fated To Become An Empire?

Geez, I haven’t seen desperation like this since the Greater Metropolitan Roopville Geezer’s Club held its own prom. Its first AND last.
Poteet
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:27 am [Reply]

# 30 Sir Fable MTK — Yeah, no kidding. I asked ChattyGenes, keeper of the Foobbooks, if this Connie/Phil relationship, such as it is, was in the original Foob Cycle, and she said it was. But I neglected to ask her if Connie was portrayed as Ms. Needy-Knickers of 1976, or whenever the heck this is supposed to be taking place. I suppose we must have traveled in the wayback machine or she’d be texting Phil every five minutes. Yeesh. Even John playing with trains would have more human dignity.
True Fable
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:31 am [Reply]

JP This is why Abbey is in the dark about Sophie’s plans and why she won’t confide in her. Sophie knows Abbey will just shoot down her plans for sweet revenge, while Sam will just say “okay fine” and bail her out of jail after the bloodletting. He kept his cool during Dixie’s demise, you recall.
LC I like the tribute to Ricardo Montalban. May he forever play his golden harp on a cloud made of the finest Corinthian leather.
MT MARK’S FACE IS MELTING!! MELTING!! Oh, you wicked little bad guy, what a world, what a worrrrllld….
PBS She’s got a bow on her tiny little helmet! Awww, that’s cute.
Phantom Oh no SHIT, Mozz; tell us something like, Devil’s growling because he doesn’t know the words or some damn thing.
RMMW June Morgan, Panel Two: Proof why June should never be awakened early. She doesn’t even LOOK like herself. Her left eye’s all punched in or something, and her lips were interpreted by Pablo Picasso.
True Fable
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:34 am [Reply]

# 31 O Poteet, my queen – Well, it was to an extent, but this little exercise in emotional squalor makes an already desperate Connie into a really pain-racked sack of future chin-nut despair. It’s as if Lynn’s original storyline took on the properties of a Hell-Spawn Sea Monkey and her New-Run idea has watered it into gargantuan proportions.
ChattyGenes
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:35 am [Reply]

#30 True Fable, #31 Poteet.

Okay, we are ALL THREE on the same wave-length. I just sent an email to Poteet (BEFORE I saw her #31) that Johnston is now ruining yet ANOTHER old character/story-line with her retconning. (Retconnie?:-)) And I referred her (Poteet) to TF’s #30, and said Truman had it right.

(At least that’s about what I think I said. Somehow the email hasn’t shown up in my SENT folder yet.)
Poteet
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:44 am [Reply]

# 33 Sir Fable & # 34 Chatty — Thanks for revealing the hideous truth. So Connie has just become another victim of ReFoobing. Your name for this strip becomes more apt with every passing week, Sir Fable. I can only admire your prescience as I watch the characters lurching around, unable to live, unable to die. *shudder*
True Fable
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:53 am [Reply]

# 35 O Poteet, my queen! – Even scarier is the fact that you cannot kill them – she’s removed their brains.
Wangdoodle
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:58 am [Reply]

Tuesday’s Bizarro: Oh, God, please let her be talking to the horse and not the cowboy.

No, Curtis, it’s your fault you’re in trouble. It’s amazing how your parents fail so utterly to convey that upon you; even that little turd Calvin got the message after he locked the babysitter out.

Garfield: Because you’re so %#$@ing boring…I mean, because he’s so %#$@ing boring. Yeah.

Hi & Lois: “Because companies never have to dig themselves out of the red; debt zeroes out at the first of each month, right?” Oooooh, those greedy garbage men! They’re making a fortune and all they have to do is carry off tons of our filthy trash and junk! (And of course, the guy riding the back of the truck is the CEO and makes all the company’s decisions.)
True Fable
February 3rd, 2009 at 3:02 am [Reply]

#36 – Maybe that should be, “you cannot DESTROY them – she’s removed their brains.”

But these Canadian zombies give us extra chances to keep trying, sort of like winning extra lives in some sort of Maple Leaf version of a Left For Glurge game.
Steve the Pocket
February 3rd, 2009 at 3:38 am [Reply]

Cue Luann’s double-take in five… four…

I’m a little more sympathetic towards our friend Mallard Fillmore after reading Chuck Lorre’s latest vanity card. It’s still not the news media, but apparently there are allegedly-intelligent people who treat Obama as if they’re living in 2016 looking back on his presidency during which everything he promised us and more has already come true.

And I thought people were eager to fast-forward through the Bush years…
Canaduck
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:16 am [Reply]

You are all hilarious and I particularly appreciate teddytoad and Amanda M’s attempts at explaining that bizarre face Rex was making. WTF.
Mr. O'Malley
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:48 am [Reply]

24. Li’l Bunnë FooFoo. So 9CL is like the Firesign Theater roadsigns:

Antelope Freeway 1/8 mile
Antelope Freeway 1/16 mile
Antelope Freeway 1/32 mile
Antelope Freeway 1/64 mile
Antelope Freeway 1/128 mile …

I recall that in that situation the solution was to set the car’s climate control to “Land of the Pharoahs”. Would that we could do something similar here.

Gift of the Magi—bah! And Maupassant, semi-bah! (Sorry, Maupassant fans, but that one about the pearl necklace is an implausible cheap gimmick. And I’m not saying that just because I was forced to read it in French.) For a good short story with a twist ending, give me Saki any day. (I posted a link to one the other day; they are all available on Project Gutenberg.)
Mr. O'Malley
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:14 am [Reply]

Sorry, it was The Diamond Necklace. I’m not criticizing all of the other 300-odd short stories he wrote, but that one is definitely below par. Here’s a link to lots of the others: http://www.online-literature.com/maupassant/

Many of them do not have twist endings, which I rather prefer.
Gene S.
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:48 am [Reply]

Re: Shmork’s also ran comment….Difference between antlers and horns…………..Horns are under the hood and antlers are on the hood(Texas only)
Jack Parsons
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:00 am [Reply]

“What’s the difference between antlers and horns?”

I can’t put antlers on my husband!
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:30 am [Reply]

Pigborn: Fairy bondage porn and tepid political opinion, together at last!

9CL: “Magic flute”. How ribald! Feh.

A3G: It’s been so long since Margo accepted anything without a fight that she has to struggle to understand someone else might have done so.

Archie: The AJGLU, now fully within its own creation, winks at us in acknowledgment and threat. It knows we have no hope of stopping it now.

Dick: Well, now I understand the eye. He didn’t blow it out, he’s just constantly hung over.

‘bean: Go ahead and scratch, Creepy Les. It’s not every night that Summer forgets to pull the shade when she undresses.

Gas: Oooh, could it be Slim’s a master strategist?

H&L: Hey, they already cut costs by having the same guy pick up the trash and do the budgeting. What more do you want?

Zippy: A made-up bow tie. That tells you everything you need to know about this piece of work.
Talking Squirrel
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:37 am [Reply]

Li’l Bunnë FooFoo sez: “Man, I love the Gift of the Fucking Magi and Guy de Fucking Maupassant.”

Concur — but while we’re offering some new sources for McEldowney pilferage, let’s not omit props for Alexandre Fucking Dumas.

And in today’s 9CL, forget “The Magic Flute” — I got yer Shamanic Kazoo right here, baybee!
John C Fremont
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:42 am [Reply]

Congrats, Cranky! And the rest! I still say that “Death is just another bad guy with facial hair” is one of the funniest things ever said by a human being. Wish it had been me.

MT – Geez, clam down, Ken.

MW – Shouldn’t she be packing by now? That ought to take a couple of weeks at least.

RMMD – Uh. I mean, um. Well. I guess June really is busting out all over.

GT – Hey, get a room, you two. But leave the curtains open. There’s a kid out there eating a donut. Just like Chance the gardener, he likes to watch.
monsieurjohn
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:51 am [Reply]

Dang, whoever guessed Ethan Noll was correct. I still think doctor of proctology Dr. A. Noll would have been better.

This has to be one of the longest waits we’ve had to endure for a horrible pun — about 2 months, if I recall correctly.
Little Guy
February 3rd, 2009 at 8:07 am [Reply]

MT: Guy comes uninvited onto private land, and Mark punches him out with… wait, Mark is the guy? Then Mark allows him to throw the first punch and miss, then immobilizes him.

BTW, sorry I missed the opportunity for Ken to riff “WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION?”

Zits: Is this a way to thin the herd? A comics version of “28 Days”?

Spidey: Not only does he have electrical powers, but the ability to belt out a Bruce Springsteen song.

PC: He should just snark on the comics like the rest of us.

S4th: In this case, I do look forward to Sally going all Dithers on her crew. with the yelling and the screaming and the kicking people out of seats and the dragging towelled people out of tubs on Sundays.

FastTrack: Make them do 1200 baud dialup, and then see how to appreciate text messages.
Jimbo
February 3rd, 2009 at 8:46 am [Reply]

FW “When you’re feeling the itch…you go outside to watch your daughter take off her clothes through her bedroom window.”
papa zita
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:07 am [Reply]

9CL: Hurry up, Edda! Find a camera so you can start to service him. The music will work as accompaniment.

Luann: Kinda wish you were in Tiffany’s place, doncha?
crazyjerseygirl
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:08 am [Reply]

9CL: The magic flute? Honestly someone needs to hire literate censors over there.

DTracy: Ethan Noll? WHY MUST EVERYONES NAME BE A PUN?!? Actually I wish it worked this way. It would be an odd sort of “Brave New World” where your future profession is denoted by your name. That way if you name your kid Janice Tor, you don’t have to worry about paying for med. school.

Curtis: You guys are Catholics, really?

Sigh, I feel much better now.
crazyjerseygirl
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:11 am [Reply]

Oh yeah, I forgot:
SpiderMan: I’m not electrician, but I’m almost certian electricity doesn’t work that way…at all. Maybe the guy just has a built in fuse and the connection between common sense and the rest of his brain just blew.
AhClem
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:24 am [Reply]

#41 Mr. O’Malley -
I believe it was the “Tropical Paradise,” not “Land of the Pharaohs,” that got them off the ol’ Antelope.
But that’s all right — I have an Erector Set.
Little Guy
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:43 am [Reply]

Corrections:

* That should be “28 Days Later”, the zombie flick, rather than “28 Days”, the Sandra Bullock/Steve Buscemi flick. Although Steve Buscemi is rather zombieesque.

* That should have been Mark going all R. Lee Ermey on Ken rather than the other way around. Although I’d love to see Pvt Pyle getting the Fist of Justice with a Full Metal Jacket.
dyslexic dog
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:46 am [Reply]

Shoe: Would that be one for each finger?

Zits: The author describes himself repeatedly.

dd
Monkey’s Eyebrow, AZ
Brick Bradford
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:50 am [Reply]

9CL Oooh, a thinly disguised erection joke. Nyuk, Nyuk. Nice skirt, though.

RMMD HellO girls!

MW God, Mary, say something smug and go home already. And yes, Frank does look like a third rate Batman villain.
Randall
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:59 am [Reply]

Luann: Hey, Luann’s getting nearly a cool grand for a ‘date.’ I say ‘To hell with college.’
kalki
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:05 am [Reply]

9CL: Well, there’s nothing like a little angry “cloakroom” sex set to Mozart’s “Magic Flute” (notice how I avoided the obvious comment about Edda blowing on Amos’ flute? oops, nevermind)

Baby Blue: If it were me, I’d wait until the place was pretty full and then set off the gas. When the parents woke up, my inventory of black market babies would be complete and on its way to both coasts for quick sales.

Archie: Love the principal’s classic “pull my finger” stance in the first panel.

Beetle: “So, want to jerk on mine and I’ll jerk yours?”

Baldo: Don’t get too used to it. Newspapers are going the way of the dinosaur. Or should be.

Blondie: Interesting reaction in the third panel. Blondie has that same facial expression when the mailman doesn’t remember to pull out in time.

Crank: The real question is: Was Lenore still in the driveway when whatshisface just drove up from work? He was probably wondering who installed the crunchy speedbump in the driveway.

DTM: Not enough. I’d consider land mines…the big Russian anti-tank ones or the old Nazi ones designed to rip off enemy soldier’s reproductive organs. This little shit needs to be put down for good.

CircusJerk: A future banking CEO.

FW: WTF? Batiuk is really off his rocker. Les is outside, under Summer’s unobstructed bedroom window…where she is about to disrobe…before it dawns on Les that he will get a much better show off the hidden webcam in Summer’s bedroom. This strip is now back ahead of Luann and the recent prostitution storyline.

GA: Notice how Corky is nowhere to be found? I think while his diner is open, he probably panhandles as a bum down by the freeway.

Luann: So how/why does Knute get to go???
buckyswife
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:16 am [Reply]

Thanks, Josh, for the space on the COTW float–and congrats to all for the great snark!
AMSTERDANG
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:18 am [Reply]

9CL: Not sure which sex fantasy role-playing game they are setting us up for here: I Am The Exorcist and My Penis is The Cross (THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!) or I Am H.R. Pufnstuf and My Penis is the Magic Talking Flute (LA LA LA, LALALALA!). Either way, despite all of the interesting possibilities, I’m sure it will be totally lame.
buckyswife
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:22 am [Reply]

Hey, kids–It’s “Clueless Day” in the comics! Let’s take a look at our winners:
Honorable mentions to Lucky Eddie of HtH, Dagwood, and Jon of Garfield, who all demonstrated exactly the fame form of cluelessness in essentially the same joke.*

And our grand-prize winners: A tie between
-Sam Driver, for not seeing why Sophie’s trying out for cheerleading is such a bad idea.
and
-Mark Trail, for leaving Patty with a guy who, having failed to knock Mark around, will now take out his anger on his wife, with “I’ll send you copies of the pictures” as his only offer of help.

A special prize for Color Cluelessness to Mary Worth and Frank, for that horror-show palette today.

*Note: Although today’s FC “joke” was also the same joke as HtH, Blondie, and Garfield, our little Keane Kretin is disqualified for illegal stupidity supplements–”doping,” if you will.
queek
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:23 am [Reply]

FW: the squick, it burns!
AMSTERDANG
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:38 am [Reply]

A3G: The way that Margo uses Nora’s name in the last frame, I think she thinks this is not Nora at all. Margo is either about to rip off “Nora’s” wig and reveal Blaze (obligatory neckerchief hidden under blouse collar), or this strip is going to get truly interesting.
Bootsy
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:48 am [Reply]

I don’t know what your problem is, Ken, but it DOESN’T INVOLVE ME!*

*Something Mary Worth will never ever say.
Bootsy
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:51 am [Reply]

I don’t know what your problem is, Ken, but it DOESN’T INVOLVE ME!

You’re human, clean shaven, currently not kicking a chicken or chaining a raccoon to a log or frenching a bear, so yeah, I guess it doesn’t involve me!
Bootsy
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:54 am [Reply]

Oh yeah, and 50 years ago today – RIP, Buddy Holly!
Muffaroo
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:55 am [Reply]

Cobra @23 – Ironically, Edda got the jewel case by giving the sales clerk a ring job.

Mr. O’Malley @41 & AhClem @59 – I still fondly remember walking to a friend’s house with him after school and reciting that entire side with him on the way. The year after that, I did a cutting from it as a reader’s theater for speech class. The teacher paid for The Big Book of Plays so we’d have a script (there were four of us reading), and was interested in the book and kept it. If she still has it, it’s worth quite a few bucks.
cheech wizard
February 3rd, 2009 at 11:10 am [Reply]

FYI – It looks like the Detroit Free Press has gone ahead and permanently replaced Frazz with the abominable Grand Avenue. What’s more, they did it without even making note of the change, as is their usual practice.

If you’re a fan of quality comics and want to support the good guys, please contact the Freep and share your outrage with them. The address is comics@freepress.com. We Michigan Mudges will thank you for it.
tb4000
February 3rd, 2009 at 11:10 am [Reply]

Curtis: Why in the fuck is Barry not in as much trouble as Curtis for skipping school? Oh, because Barry is the Mary Sue, duh.

Luann: So Tiff’s grades are so bad she was never going anyway?!!!! And they had a spot open all this time yet Delta was still unable to attend? Pitts High School, I bet you make her sit at the back of the bus too, don’t you? We shall overcome, Delta.
Winky's Spleen
February 3rd, 2009 at 11:20 am [Reply]

Family Circus: Ha ha ha ha ha, it’s funny because Jeffy has severe cognitive disabilities.
cheech wizard
February 3rd, 2009 at 11:29 am [Reply]

68/Muffaroo – Really? How much? I have two copies – one bought as a gift for a lady friend that was never presented for reasons that will remain undisclosed.

54/Ah Clem – Showoff.
Little Guy
February 3rd, 2009 at 11:37 am [Reply]

70/Luann: Just took a look at the Jan 13 comic, and, to be fair, Tiffany wasn’t one of those going Shirley Jackson.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 3rd, 2009 at 11:43 am [Reply]

2/3
Ah, the COTWs to start the day off right. Congratulations, Cranky et al.

FW: As Les wishes he were in a warm bed and talks about having an itch, we cut to Summer in her bedroom. Batiuk won’t be satisfied as long as a single lunch stays down.

Ziggy: Roast it and eat it as a warning to the other pets.

BB: The army is just using this strip to recruit more pot-smoking lit majors.

GT: And Neal Ruben continues to… recycle Very Special Episodes of Beverly Hills 90210.

JP: Actually he sort of did try to talk her out of it. Glad Sam and Abbey aren’t hung up on this whole “honesty” fad.

RMMD: Obviously whatever Rex is saying here can’t be that important. If it were they wouldn’t make his dialogue compete with June’s half-open shirt. As the cruise from Hell grinds on, a glimpse of Heaven.

GA: Slim and the waitress with all the cute slang are making Jimmy Hoffa late for work. Everyone’s gonna think he got buried under Shea Stadium or something.

S4th: “Let me tell you about a little management tool that helps me get through the day. It’s called alcohol. Start around nine in the morning.”

M-Dawg: Marm’s tail is blocking the TV. The Winslows are missing that news story about the disappeared Italian tourist.

9CL: All right! We get it! The Magic Flute. Edda really enjoys humming it.

DT: Did you even really have to ask?

Momma: How nice. The clerk won’t report Francis to the Temperance Union.

Marvin: Haha! Bootie’s on the other foot now, isn’t it kid?

Archie: You know the real funny part? Jughead’s appendix just burst! He’s going to die in the detenction room! Ah, good times.
Muffaroo
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

cheech wizard @72 – I don’t remember, but I did a search on copies of it, thinking I might buy one. Then I decided to use the money to buy a small South American country instead. Check abebooks and a couple of places like that to see what the market price today is. (The sad thing is, the stupid South American country didn’t even last two weeks and I ended up selling it to China at a loss.)
AhClem
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

#68 Muffaroo, #72 cheech wizard -
I still have my copies of both books. Ossman and Proctor signed them a few years ago when they were in town for a regional SF convention.
queek
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

RMMD: June just one-upped JP. I’m waiting to see how Baretto responds.

9CL: “Magic Flue” indeed! @_@
Muffaroo
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

9CL – “Let’s see, he’s conducting a little fast, and he’s been playing for twenty seconds. That gives us thirty seconds to get ready, four and a half for hot hand sex, thirty seconds to wipe off, ten to zip up, and fifteen to get in position for that music thing. Your concerto doesn’t have a piano part, but I’ve arranged to sit in the percussion section and hold the triangle, just in case my firm breasts can help sway the judges.”

DTracy – Now that we’ve upgraded to a more mechanical-looking machine font for the lettering, could we maybe let the old one take over the art chores? And possibly handle the character names? And, Tracy? Maybe you could help him get the Krazy Glue off his infantile fingers so he could put down those damn beakers?

FCircus – “Alas, poor Florsheim! I knew him, Adida. A loafer of infinite jest, and fancy.”

GAlley – I’m surprised the patrons are able to leave. Their hopeless visages clearly indicate that this is the Diner of the Damned.

Also: Who knew that realistically-rendered people could leave briffits?

HtHorrible – That Lucky Eddie says the most inappropriate things! Am I right? They are really very inappropriate! I can’t be the only person here who notices their inappropriate nature.

Momma – Questions. When he says “Bless your heart,” does he mean one of the three floating hearts, or the one that presumably beats within her freakish body? How can her hairline be two inches behind her eyeballs? And what kind of punctuation is that in his speech balloon? The spoken equivalent of Ernie Bushmiller’s Three Rocks? A space-saving version of the Three Dots of Irony?

NSeq – Is it too much to hope that the world’s biggest bore and the world’s rottenest kid will somehow bond to each other until they’ve completely cancelled each other out? It would do wonders for the strip, and it wouldn’t hurt my day either.

Pluggers – It gives me such a lift when I can say, “Nope! This is like nothing in my experience — I’M NOT A FREAKING PLUGGER… TODAY!”

PCity – “I am a straw liberal, Carmen. What kind of caricatured behavior can I engage in now that will gratify our readers’ preconceptions by reinforcing their media-fed stereotypes?”

R=Rose – Crumb did this so much better.

SSmiff – Just change the word “fight” in the last panel to another f-word to see what’s really going on here.
Cranky
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

Wow wow wow. Go away to real life for twelve hours and look at the humbling honor bestowed upon me. Thanks Josh!

I guess it’s official: “Ziggy sexing his pets” is the new “Marmaduke kills and eats people.”
Cranky
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

I feel I should mention that sugarpie and margillito both particularly cracked me up this week, but they’re all hilarious.
The World\'s Clothing Industry
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

MW: In panel 2, the longjohn-clad Lynn is holding up the roof of the panel, or perhaps the ceiling of the auditorium, in a clean-and-jerk type pose that must be awfully hard to hold while standing on ice. All this just to keep the roof from falling on her hideously clad father and the even more hideously clad Mary. Let it go, kid. For the love of all that is holy, let it go.
These Strange Worlds
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

9CL

My theory…

I think, nay I pray, that the current arc is slowly winding down. Maybe it will take a week, or maybe a few weeks, but I’m thinking that when it is over, we’ll have another one of those temporal and contexual jumps that will bypass the whole wedding, changing of roommates, conviving friends, dysfunctional family members, etc. — and just start with our heroes married, living together, and with some new adult-like friends and colleagues.

This has happened twice before, so one can dream.

Otherwise, I’m going to reserve the second week in July for the marriage.
These Strange Worlds
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

RMMD

I have taken a few cruises and I’ve always wondered what kind of medical staff is there. The only objective data I have comes from “Doc” on “The Love Boat.”

Nothing in the current story arc reassures me.

I would hope however that if circumstances require recruiting a passenger, the doctor they summon for an emergency WOULDN’T WASTE TIME PUTTING ON A TIE!!!

Thank you for letting me share my concerns.
One-eyed Wolfdog
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

Phantom, Panel 1: Yowza that’s a fine bod on display there.
These Strange Worlds
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

S4th

Does Sally have any management training at ALL?

I’m pretty sure that even in Management 101 they teach you to come into a new department, identify the second most problematic member of the team, befriend the most problematic memor of the team, then fire number the number two problem. Repeat until stability is achieved. Bonus points if the person fired creates a high level vacancy and the remaining members of the team compete for the promotion.

You realize of course that when I use the word “team” I’m talking about the term in a very restrictive context.

I’m still hoping for a cute subordinant to show up and help her out, thereby engendering jealous from Ted (all this despite his equally cute work wife).

The four of them could double date.
One-eyed Wolfdog
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

If Ted becomes engendered that will be the most shocking twist in the comics so far this year.
One-eyed Wolfdog
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

If it happens I would give 7:5 odds on “male”.
migellito
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

Thank you, thank you!
-throws beads from the float in return for flashes-

I often have to struggle with the initials used to designate some of the comics. For example, I know which strip ‘JP’ refers to, but I’m often not able to call to mind the actual title. Instead, I find myself mentally substituting ‘Judge Prudy.’
Naked Bunny with a Whip
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

you know who you are!

You assume too much, sir!
odinthor
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

#84. One-eyed Wolfdog. –

Phantom, Panel 1: Yowza that’s a fine bod on display there.

Woof!

RMMD. — No, Rex. You’re just assuming that there’s a medical emergency because the ship’s surgeon wanted to see you. In truth, the ship’s surgeon got hold of that clip of you pole-dancing at the corner bar, and wants to see your, um, musculature.
seismic-2
February 3rd, 2009 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

MT – Mark’s offer to send Patty the pictures is generous. Otherwise, she will have to use her Paypal account to view them by purchasing “The Bride of the Stag” series on Mark’s pay site, http://www.hornyantlers.com .
One-eyed Wolfdog
February 3rd, 2009 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

“The Bride of the Stag”, hm, wonder how that compares to Sudenmorsian.
AtomicDog
February 3rd, 2009 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

Strange Brew – Obviously, it isn’t. No tire tracks.
Mibbitmaker
February 3rd, 2009 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

PC: Sorry, Muffaroo, but I agree with Stantis here. Problem is, though, that considering his attitude about Reagan, and the media of that time, he’s alittle too “glass houses” to be making that point.

RMMD: The ship’s doctor doesn’t know how awfully long it’s been since Rex actually practiced medicine (save for way-too-infrequent times). So, the ship’s practitioner is expecting Hawkeye Pierce, but he’s getting Frank Burns.

DT: What a corny pun! (ducks)

FW: Scratch that, Les — meaning forget it.

GT: “….Make out, and win!” would be a better last narration box.
jayjaybear
February 3rd, 2009 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

I kind of hate that DeMaupassant story myself. I always marveled at the protagonist’s amazing self-control because she didn’t beat the rich old matron to a sparkly pulp after the reveal…
AhClem
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

#82 These Strange Worlds -
While I’ll also be glad to see the current 9CL story arc ending, the transition to the next one is usually comprised of Thorax musings. Given that option, I can withstand several more weeks of Magi gifts and ~~skin~~ Magic Flutes instead.
Winky's Spleen
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

Prickly City: Of course, it’s much easier to win a political debate when you get to put words in your opponents mouth. I can give all sorts good, rational grounds for disliking the person who inspires this supposed “derangement syndrome”, although I’ll admit 8 years one one apocalyptic f***-up after another has indeed driven a lot of us a bit batty.
Steve the Pocket
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

#73: Huh. Forgot all about that… so in other words, there was never meant to be any connection between Tiffany’s absence from the trip and the need to cut out one student, and the cartoonist has just been banking on the readers being too stupid to put two and two together.

Nice one.
Niall
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

94. Mibbitmaker: *throws a bushel at him*

Nonetheless, who was it who identified months ago the Ethan Noll name pun? I clearly remember reading that. Someone has dibs…

…and it looks like Tom Bombadil is the winner on January 19! It was only weeks ago, but it sure felt like months ago!
Mibbitmaker
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

HotC: “Ha-ha! I’M a bigger NER-ERD! I’M a bigger NER-ERD! In your FAC–” Then she stopped with a frown, realising what she was saying. Dean, meanwhile, wore the biggest grin Tatulli can draw.

Big Furshlugginer Dog: It’s worse than that, Schickelgrubers… Marm ate the Ferrari!

MW: “We both have true grit”?? Jeez — when it comes to stilted dialogue even a moron wouldn’t say, that guy is part of the team to beat! — with blunt instruments.

Mutts: This one is for all the dog owners out there.

NS: Next, she’s going to learn about the recent Bush administration from Scott McClellan, and about the Clinton administration from Dick Morris.

OBH: That is one wise grandma.

Popeye: “Fat-armed creep” — now that’s one Bluto never thought of.

6C: Isn’t “reality show loser” pretty much an oxymoron?

S-M: …and dumber! Such are superhero physics (as opposed to real physics) in comic strip Spider-Man.

Zits: Hey, Zits creators — stick to clever visual stuff like this (their strong suit all along) instead of the all-teens-are-awful crap and more of us will read you!
bats :[
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

Pajamas, June? PAJAMAS? Damn, I am so disappointed…
One-eyed Wolfdog
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

Er… what is that stuffed animal on Summer’s bed suposed to be? It looks sort of like a lizard with its eye ripped out. Weird, but it wouldn’t be out of character for FW, I guess.
Perky Bird
February 3rd, 2009 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

Funky: Hey, Les. That’s a laptop you’ve got there. The great thing about those is that they’re portable. You can be in a nice warm bed and write at the same time!
PeteMoss
February 3rd, 2009 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

I bet the Overture to the Magic Flute is playing in Gil Thorp[e] today, too!

Wouldn’t that 9CL gag be even funnier if Mozart had written “The Magic Trombone” or the “The Magic Bassoon?” Well, we all work with whats we gots.
Marthas Rolling Pin
February 3rd, 2009 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

Today’s GT goes a long way toward explaining the recent shortage of narration boxes in Stripey’s world.
Mooncattie
February 3rd, 2009 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

Hearty congratulations to Cranky and the float riders for some hilarious comments this past week! Poteet, your comment “Death is just another bad guy” brought the song Me and Bobby McGee to mind. I think it’s time for ChattyGenes to pen a Me and Mark Trailee lyric, and Mollificent to give it the harp treatment! There’s no hurry – Mooncattie slipped on a patch of ice downtown yesterday and is now at home with a fractured knee. That’s what I get for making fun of MW’s Lynn and Frank. Some hockey player I’d make!
trey le parc
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

RMMD: June looks like she was dragged backwards through a bush, which implies…a bush somewhere in the cabin or elsewhere aboard the ship? Help me, people.
sugarpie
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

RMMD Really? No one? OK…

Bats :[ sure called this one!

June hasn’t seen Rex’s medical “staff” in years, and when she does it’s always on strike. There’s also bowling metaphor I can’t work in there just yet.
Poteet
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

# 106 — Mooncattie, I so sympathize. I tripped in a parking lot several years ago and broke my shoulder, and I remember the pain being mingled with chagrin and a feeling of being persecuted by the laws of physics. I hope you and your knee will soon feel much better.
odinthor
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

NYer Caption Contest — “Now you be Don Ho!”
bats :[
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

103. Perky Bird re FW: but using your laptop in bed isn’t suffering. And Real Writers must suffer. It says so somewhere.
Now if Les could just put two and two together and get something less than five, maybe he’d realize he could search the Net for porn on his laptop…

106. Mooncattie: oh, gee whiz about the knee. Damn, this global warming needs to migrate north and get rid of all that ice! Get well soon!
(Hmmmmm…..there’s a medical emergency requiring Rex’s assistance….you don’t suppose it has something to do with a fractured knee, do you?)
buckyswife
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

106 Mooncattie–Ice! I hate ice! I’m near DC, and we get lots in winter, and it’s hell to get around, no matter what Obama says. You have my sympathies; I fear your fate befalling me every time I walk my dog in the early a.m.
PeteMoss
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

How would one use onomatopoeia to describe the sound of Amos’ Overture to the Magic Flute?

Schwang?
Sploing?
Doyoyoyoy?
Perky Bird
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

111 bats :[

But wouldn’t watching internet porn in bed also violate the “writers must suffer” rule? Wait, this is the Funkyverse–probably even the internet porn is dissapointing and unsatisfying. And causes cancer.
One-eyed Wolfdog
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

One suspects, in Amos’s case, that “magic flute” rather overstates the case; the reality is probably closer to a piccolo, with a lot of patter, misdirection, and some amateur sleight-of-hand to compensate.
Mooncattie
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

#109 Poteet, many thanks. I plan to put this hiatus from the real world to good use by spending more time on this site and increasing my diet of comics in general. And, so far, I’ve come across…
Curtis – If Mom and Dad want to punish the kid, why don’t they take away his stupid hat?
Archie – Well, who knew Tony Manero would get fat and bald and move to Riverdale?
’shaft – I’m here to say that when you fall down, you don’t necessarily think logically. My first thought was to make sure I hadn’t dropped my bottle of Diet Pepsi. The notion of, for example, using my cellphone to call for help would never have occurred to me. Of course I was left on my own by various downtown passers-by, apart from the couple who enquired if I was OK, then asked for directions to Women’s College Hospital! I pointed the way, too…while lying flat on my back on the ice!
9CL – More like Eine Kleine Piccolomusik, I bet…and what’s the matter, dear? Did Ziggy steal your pants?
Momma – But I can’t overlook this item here…I NEED A PRICE CHECK, PLEASE, ON SATIN SILK NIPPLE TASSELS, ONE PAIR!
Amanda M
February 3rd, 2009 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

I so happy. :-)

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