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Steeple chaste

Apartment 3-G, 6/5/06

Let’s take a break from the current brain-taxing (or is it mind-numbing?) Apartment 3-G storyline and, like our leering layabouts in panel four, appreciate the sight of these two fine ladies enjoying a jog. Apparently these two jokers are a constant discomfort-causing presence on that particular park bench, because unlike the casually limb-exposing joggers in the background, Margo and Tommie have taken the precaution of covering up every inch of potentially titillating skin. Under most circumstances, Margo’s turtleneck would qualify as the Most Prudish Workout Outfit Ever, but Tommie has one-upped her by incomprehensibly choosing to wear a black polo shirt under her long-sleeved tracksuit! This way, once their running route takes them through Little Lancaster, Brooklyn’s famous Amish district, all they’ll have to do to avoid being pelted with stones is pull out their bonnets.

This entry simply cannot end without taking a few potshots at the individual at the far right of panel three. The pulled-up white socks, the knock-kneed, falling-forward, spasmodic running style, the dark glasses — he’s got “victim” written all over him. Godspeed, buddy. Watch out for the dude in the backwards baseball cap — after that glare from Margo, he’s gonna be pissed.

39 responses to “Steeple chaste”

  1. WarrenM
    June 7th, 2005 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    I was just pleased to see that even the blind (presumably from seeing those jogging suits) can jog without fear in Central Park.

    It really is Fun City again, innit?

  2. fluffytufts
    June 7th, 2005 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    The guy in panel 3 is clearly having a seizure, but still managing to avoid these two in their matronly jogging couture. The layabouts are Joe Friday from Dragnet, and Gilligan – who’s terrible contract negotiating skills allowed for zero compensation for endless re-runs. Reduced to poverty, they must now take work anywhere their alcoholic stumblings take them, though the gig in 3-G is a lowpoint for them both.

  3. Jeff
    June 7th, 2005 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    I saw this and thought of you:

  4. fluffytufts
    June 7th, 2005 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    Has the artist for this strip even seen a woman jogging before?

  5. glubb?
    June 7th, 2005 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    guy in the hat to waldo: “You sher got purty lips, boy.”

  6. Monkey David
    June 7th, 2005 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Is Margo always this mean to Lu Ann? I mean, this three have been living together for, what, 40 years?

  7. Nom du Jour
    June 7th, 2005 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    The guy falling down is Michael Longstreet who is in partnership with Col. Hogan in busting Komic Krime Kapers.

  8. hjordanc
    June 7th, 2005 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Panels 1 – 3: Tommie on the left, Margo on the right. Panels 4 and 6: Margo on the left, Tommie on the right. Panel 7: the gals switch places again. Are they jogging or just running circles around each other.

    Which does suggest what could be a fun game to play with your friends. You can only speak sequentially left to right versus the “4th wall”. You have something to add to the conversation? Move to the back of the line bub.

  9. gershwin
    June 7th, 2005 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    The plot of this strip is shaping up to be about the same as that of “Golddiggers of 1933.”

    At least the females you see in that 72-year-old film knew how to dress scantily!

  10. Jumpcut
    June 7th, 2005 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    I think we all have to give kudos to Margo & Tommie for those perfectly preserved 1972 track suits.

  11. sickboy
    June 7th, 2005 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    I suspect if we saw the front of that guy’s baseball cap, it might say “Frank Jr.”

  12. daChipster
    June 7th, 2005 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    The Guy in Panel 3: Since Paul Reubens’ arrest for public indecency, Warner Bros. has desperately been trying to cast PeeWee’s Great Central Park Race

    with limited success.

    “There’s no basement in Grant’s Tomb!”

  13. Joe D.
    June 7th, 2005 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    Why does Margo run with both hands in front of her body? Even the blind guy who has lost both his seeing-eye dog and his fashion sense is able to run somewhat like a human being. He’s at least caught on to the fact that one hand should go back and one forward even though he hasn’t quite figured out that if the right foot goes forward, the left hand should go with it.

    If you ran like any of these “athletes” in Central Park, there’s no doubt that people would stare at you. Unfortunately, the gals in 3-G are so pretentious that they assume that these losers — nice pink sweater, by the way — are staring at them because they’re so hot.

    Yeah, Margo. That’s so hot how you’re running and crapping your pants at the same time in panel four.

  14. drownedinink
    June 7th, 2005 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    I like how, since I’ve been reading the strips via your site, Margo keeps upping the ante in regard to her cattiness.

    I suspect in several months her bitchiness will reach supervillain proportions as Lu Ann accidently stumbles on her hi-tech hideout, ingeniously hidden in the apartment’s unused walk-in closet, and finds that Margo is preparing a synthetic virus that will kill all the young, attractive women in the city, leaving all the men in a sex-filled frenzy only dominatrix-from-hell Margo can satisfy.

  15. TwoClubs
    June 7th, 2005 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    The blind guy also seems to have forgotten that only one foot can go forward at a time.

  16. Luban
    June 7th, 2005 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    I’m surprised Josh didn’t comment on the amazing color change of Margo’s track suit — from flesh-toned last week, to blue (I think? sorry, color-blind) on Sunday… aaand back to flesh-toned today. Or perhaps Margo’s wearing one those cool outfits that changes color when exposed to sunlight? She must’ve swiped it from that sweatshop!

    More thermochromic activewear, mule!

  17. Gilmore Guy
    June 7th, 2005 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    I think it’s brave that he’s not letting the fact that his legs are fuzed at the knees prevent him from leading a full, active life.

  18. Sir H C
    June 7th, 2005 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    Why those two guys? Why. It is sort of like Mark Trail and superfluous animals.

    I was guessing they were power walking, though in panel 3 they are going from some mystery direction perpendicular to the path.

  19. Nom du Jour
    June 7th, 2005 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    Those two guys are Scott’s brothers Darrel and Daryl. They are hoping that they can score a triple date.

  20. luluchappel
    June 7th, 2005 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    I think the artist caught the blind guy in mid-trip: the split second that his legs come together but before his hands go up to break his fall and his mouth opens to yell, “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”

  21. Bill Peschel
    June 7th, 2005 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    Blind guy? Don’t y’all recognize Steve Dallas in a cameo?

  22. Suzii
    June 7th, 2005 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

    Silly, that’s not a black polo. See the black trim across the neckline of that sweatshirt? That’s a faux collar. Extremely popular ten years ago. Tommie’s a thrift-store junkie!

  23. Sourbelly
    June 7th, 2005 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    In the first panel, it looks like the gal in the salmon sweater needs to take a mean piss. Or worse.

    Either that, or she’s one of the lucky few who can actually run with their arms akimbo.

  24. grover96
    June 7th, 2005 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    I’ll be damned if those two “leerers” are not butch dykes. They are just dressing the part and are undressing out two lovelies with their beady eyes.

  25. RBF
    June 7th, 2005 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    Joe D. re: Post #13: I beg to differ, I think Tommie is the one crapping her pants in Panel 4. Maybe that’s why they switched places, so Margo could move upwind?

    Tres’ chic – the jogging nuns of NYC!

  26. RBF
    June 7th, 2005 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    Sorry, I meant Panel 3.

  27. Islamorada Girl
    June 7th, 2005 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    The thrift shop addiction would explain a lot in this fashion victim strip. It’s like 90 in NYC right now! Why are these women wearing Elvis’ old track suits? I think the two oglers are just waiting for them to pass out from heat prostration so they can steal their wallets.

  28. Curious George
    June 7th, 2005 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    The two bystanders are obviously based on real people, probably friends of the artist. I’ve no idea if they will feature later as plot devices, or whether they are plumbers whose visages the artist included as part of some barter agreement.

    I too was appalled at the inclusion of the visually impaired jogger obviously about to stumble into the flower beds.

    Please. Is nothing sacred?

  29. Anne Nonymous
    June 7th, 2005 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

    Never mind the sad fashion in the strip- why doesn’t Tommie call Margo on Margo’s transparent desire to steal Scott Gaines away from Lu Ann? Margo obviously feels that, if Lu Ann thinks he’s a dope dealer, Lu Ann loses interest, and Margo can scoop him up, although Tommie tries to give Lu Ann a wishy-washy heads up today. Is Tommie afraid of Margo? Why don’t Tommie and Lu Ann slap her and throw her out of the apartment? There should be plenty of prospective roomates in NYC to take her place.

  30. Joe D.
    June 8th, 2005 at 1:02 am [Reply]

    RBF, I think you’re right. Tommie is pooping ‘em in panel three. You can tell by the desperate look on her face. Now I think that Margo is just trying to in panel four. Don’t you just hate that one-upping bitch? I wish she’d just leave those other two alone. She can’t let Lu Ann have a boyfriend who isn’t a criminal. She can’t let Tommie crap her pants. I think this reaveals how much desperation and self-loathing Margo is truly hiding behind that electric blue facade of a sweatsuit.

  31. TwoClubs
    June 8th, 2005 at 6:20 am [Reply]

    I’d really love to see Sunday’s A3G in animated format–or even live-action (if we could find actors willing to do it). I’m just curious to see these people jogging thru the park. First of all, the route they are taking looks positively zaggy. Second, I need to see how they can pump both arms to and fro together, and still move forward without falling over.

  32. Archivalist
    June 8th, 2005 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    Those are clearly Tommie and Margo’s stunt doubles in Panel 4. And as far as the guys on the bench go, well at least we now know where Jerry Mathers’ been in recent years.

  33. TwoClubs
    June 8th, 2005 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    Could even be Scott Gaines’ brother.

  34. johnwhorfin
    June 8th, 2005 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    Re: No. 31–I second TwoClub’s suggestion, ala Mary Worth The Movie.
    With reards to Chip’s new list of suggested names on another post, I heartily endorse Revilers of Rancid, Rotten Renderings. It just rolls off of the tongue, in my opinion. Of couse, I am also all for keeping the 4K title, or even going back to the original 3C from the Night of a 1000 Posts. Just so long as we have a shared identity that all can support.

  35. Lady Penelope
    June 8th, 2005 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    Two Clubs, you’re right about the strange route. Most runners do either the six mile loop (just because it’s easy to figure out how far you went), the loop around the reservoir, or–occasionally–the dirt horse path (they always regret this). Clearly LuAnn and Margo are looking to pick up pedestrians on the back paths. Sluts.

    Hopefully there’s an ambulance stationed nearby b/c Margo’s going to pass out in that turtleneck. Or maybe she wore it so that later, just before she wretched into the reservoir, she could say, “it’s hot in here,” and whip it over her head for the attentions of the friendly pedestrians.

    The two guys in panel four, by the way, are clearly a Williamsburg hipster (dressing down) and his visiting dad. The dad, a decidedly non-progressive sort in his demin collared shirt, is smiling to himself thinking, “Just because he lives in an art colony doesn’t mean he hasn’t an eye for the ladies. Chip off the old block!”

  36. Peaches
    June 8th, 2005 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    Penelope–No sleep til Brooklyn! Young hipster needs more tats, though.

    More po-mo irony, Mule!

  37. Islamorada Girl
    June 8th, 2005 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    Apparently, in world renowned Central Park, all the loiterers are really turned on by two middle aged women covered from neck to ankle in pastel polyester jogging suits!

  38. Mr.
    June 9th, 2005 at 12:57 am [Reply]

    Nobody’s even mentioned all of the “wiggle lines” yet– what the L is up with THAT?

    I guess the uhm, “artist” thought that if he didn’t indicate motion in this way, we would think the grrlz were actually doing tai chi?

  39. Trooper6
    June 13th, 2005 at 7:26 am [Reply]

    So…know apartment 3-G is stealing its plotlines from old Hollywood backstage musicals? This the romantic plot from Golddiggers of 1933. All we need know is LuAnn to bust out in some Ruby Keeler-type tap danding.

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