My dinner with Logan
Spider-Man, 7/17/09
God bless the newspaper Spider-Man strip; it’s more powerful than even I could have imagined. Its ability to suck the drama and excitement out of any storyline it touches and replace it with its own imperatives — cheesy jokes, endless domestic scenes, and totally pointless, neurotic fretting about the revealing of secret identities — is truly impressive. So overwhelming is this anti-dramatic forcefield that here we have Marvel Entertainment, Inc. uber-badass Wolverine sitting with Peter and MJ at some terrible no-star restaurant and making his first-ever friends.
I seem to recall a bit in the first X-Men movie where Wolverine admitted, in an emo but manly way, that every time his claws popped out, it was painful, so naturally he’s using them here to manipulate the brown globby food slabs that he’s ordered. Look at MJ, Logan! You should cut your slabs up into blobs and eat them with a shrimp fork.
Ziggy, 7/17/09
You might think that the joke here is that a toaster is not, in fact, fun for the whole family, and thus the sign is deeply misguided. But it goes deeper: Since Ziggy has no family, and nobody loves him or ever has, he has no context for what might constitute family fun. Thus, he stares at the window display, expressionless. Is this the sort of device that families use, to enjoy themselves? He may buy it just to find out; when it fails to alleviate his soul-rending lonliness, he’ll just take it into the bathtub in an attempt to end it all that will end up failing, furthering his humiliation.
Marvin, 7/17/09
Ha ha, Marvin is going to be pecked to death, by seagulls! I take back everything bad I ever said about birds.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:37 am
Archie – Veronica’s maid makes the worst potato salad.
AD – Ha ha! He picked up one of Ziggy’s old shells.
GAlley – Looks like a major change of life for Upton Nogood! From now on, he’s going to be one of those grasping, mendacious fake preachers on TV.
Mduke – And here I thought that took some sort of injection.
MWorth – It’s pretty clear Mary has a crush on Delilah. A meddle-crush. She keeps giving her these sad looks and having covert thoughts directed to her. Make that a meddle-on. She’d better do something about that soon, or she’ll get blue platitudes.
note – There are several decent strips today. I ordinarily don’t comment on decent strips, but Luann’s bro’s moving the plot along, I think the giant dodo in Non Sequitur’s a cute touch, and elsewhere, there’s a sign that the world is coming to an end. That’s just part of it, but I thought those were the most remarkable.
Pluggers – On the other hand, this makes no sense whatsoever.
RMorgan – Even in the context of the tragedy of Alzheimer’s, golf is just so damn funny!
Ziggy – Comparatively speaking, when you put a toaster next to Ziggy, it is fun for the whole family.
sugarpie @y70 – Thirty years ago, a friend and I were approached by a Hare Krishna (that wasn’t what we called them), who desired to impart a booklet called “Back to Godhead.” My friend agreed to take it if the guy would promise to get a haircut. Not long after, said friend had produced a handsome replica of the logo, with Zippy giving a benediction, and the title “Back to Pinhead.”
Mr. O’Malley @y89 – As one who took radio-tv repair at the end of the tube era, I used to look at a lot of those little dials. For years, I had some squirreled away, just in case. You’re right that the vertical hold and horizontal were more often in front than in back, but sometimes there was a dial that just said “picture” and made some nebulous changes in the degree of sharpness or something. Perhaps it was a color set, in which case it would be “tint.” There’s also an outside chance it would be “tone” to squelch the treble.
ohyes @y121 – I used to play piano at a ‘home,’ and one day one of the nice old ladies who I liked was very worried. She told me, quietly and urgently, that the place had been taken over by people who replaced the staff, and something bad was going to happen. This was one of the more alert and sweet residents, part of my most faithful audience, and it just broke my heart.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:37 am
Damn. I killed the thread dead. Re-post.
7/17
DtM: Hell with Mr. Wilson. Do Joey’s parents even know that the Mitchells took him on their vacation? Does the kid even have living parents, or does he sleep in Henry’s toolshed?
A3G: “Well I’ve just met the young lady. My educated guess is that she grabbed a bottle of tequila and somehow found a dressing room to lock herself in while she threw furniture.”
9CL: $12.95. That’s all it takes to make the farmer go away. Just out of curiosity, what’s Thorax’s asking price?
Archie: And so, seemingly at random, the bigfoot story arc resumes and ends on the same day. With the elusive woodland creature struck with diarrhea, apparently.
RMMD: “On a similar note was that poor old man who insisted we call him ‘Clambake.’ He claimed to have played in the Negro Leagues, but his story never checked out.”
S-M: From what I understand, Wolverine’s claws tear through skin and flesh every time he extends them, and he feels every bit of pain. So maybe when he’s in a restaurant and has to cut up whatever Mary Worth foodsubstance they’re having, he could learn the concepts of “knife” and “fork.”
Baldo: Out of context, “I never eat my mother’s either” is an impressively filthy line.
DT: Circus? The hell you say. No way anyone could have seen that one coming.
MW: “Take a walk” indeed. I think Delilah’s just had an epiphany. She’s going to pack a duffle bag, run down to the depot, and catch a Greyhound for somewhere, anywhere, that’s not Santa Royale.
JP: “Only one, but that’s enough for me. By the way, have I mention that I have $700 in outstanding speeding tickets?”
July 17th, 2009 at 10:41 am
Considering that is more than likely an accurate depiction of what a seagull is saying when it swoops around you squawking its ass off when it sees you with anything remotely edible, I have to commend the Marvin people on this one. Yet on the other side of the coin, I have to decry them for not including a shit joke.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:46 am
I have to admit that I’m charmed by the over emphasis on domesticity in the newspaper Spiderman. It’s like Stan Lee said to himself “You know what….we need to tap into all of those Mary Worth readers. Their numbers are Kablam Zow! Now who can we get to play “Chinbeard”…I know! Wolverine!”
And that’s how you write a comic.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:46 am
I’ll also add that the strange chunks of food resemble Mary’s salmon cakes.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:46 am
Is one of Wolverine’s mutant powers his utter lack of table manners? Maybe that’s why most people “non-mutes” shun him–no one wants to be sprayed with bits of food as he chops up his meat and stuffs it in his mouth with both hands. For MJ, of course, anything is a change for the better from Peter’s passive-aggression and prissy neuroses.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:47 am
Seagulls are notoriously aggressive about food.
Go gulls go!!
(Also, josh: “lonliness”? I don’t think Ziggy has anything to do with Mr. Chaney…)
July 17th, 2009 at 10:53 am
Speaking as a fellow enthusiast of CHIPS Brand Potato Chips, I can understand why Marvin might not want to share their light, crispy, deliciousness. But I don’t recall them ever having left a splattered brown mess around my mouth. What has he been eating?
July 17th, 2009 at 10:53 am
Dick Tracy: I’m genuinely frightened with what Locher and Brozman will come up with about depictions of circus clowns. They’re already creepy menaces in real life, but this will be grade-A nightmare fuel. (Link to tv tropes not even considered. I have work to do today.)
July 17th, 2009 at 10:55 am
I think that toaster is an old Sunbeam Stainless, but I can’t find it here.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:56 am
y 130 sequitur and y132 Kajjansiblackmamba,
I don’t necessarily want the whole strip to go away. “Annals of Felinity” can stay. And I don’t mind Amos/Edda and Francis/Diane doing cute couple stuff, as long as they don’t expect the world to kiss their horny asses for it.
#1 Muffaroo,
You had me worried for a second. I misread your comment and thought you said something about a giant dildo in Non Sequitur.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:02 am
I’d mentioned the “hurts every time” comment from the first X-Men movie when Logan first landed in NYC and was popping them out as nonchalantly as picking his nose (not that he was picking his nose with his claws, mind you).
Logan is a masochist.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:07 am
You know, I usually prefer to stick with one user name. But if ever I was tempted to switch, it would DEFINITELY be to “Emo But Manly.”
July 17th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Hell, if I had twins, I would want to name them Emo and Manley.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:13 am
Peter’s look in that third panel is definitely one of “Woman smart, me stupid.”
July 17th, 2009 at 11:15 am
So Marvin has been left by himself on a filthy beach, with nothing but chips to eat and a tattered old blanket to protect him from the sun. Clearly this is some kind of “Jungle Book” situation — these seagulls will take pity on him and raise him as one of their own. And someday people will wonder about the strange naked teenager who runs around supermarket parking lots pretending to fly, dive-bombs scraps of old bread that fall out of the dumpster, and does his business on their car windshields.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:18 am
Here’s hoping the “circus” Dick Tracy will visit is the Family Circus.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:20 am
I wonder if Wolverine ever looks at his claws and says, “This one’s the dinner knife; this one’s the steak knife; this one’s the butter knife….”
July 17th, 2009 at 11:21 am
@#13: Emo “Butt Man” Lee would also work. Just sayin’ …
July 17th, 2009 at 11:24 am
@#18 Big Ted:
If Logan ever followed up that thought with: “Huh. The salad fork should be outside the dinner fork…” and then ripped out two of his claws and reinserted them on different fingers, it would be the best Spider Man strip ever. Hell, just the sound effects on that one would be epic (”Snikkkt! Splortt! Kluuudge! Squerrrkk!”)
July 17th, 2009 at 11:27 am
Y102 Katya,
I don’t really miss snarking on The Scottish Comic. I have enough fun with bad art and baffling storylines without throwing politics into the mix. My only concern has ever been that a new commenter might post something about it without realizing it was taboo. Haven’t seen anyone being punished though. I guess other people are more conscientious about reading the policies than I.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:32 am
Part of my soul keeps dying every damn day I have to see this Spiderman and Wolverine relationship. It reminds me of those Tom and Jerry cartoons, where they are friends instead of trying to beat the crap out of each other. I could just see the baloon for next week- “Next week: Wolverine orders more food? How will Peter keep his identity safe?” SHOOT ME NOW!!!
July 17th, 2009 at 11:32 am
Peter would shoot his webbing to pick up his own food wad, but even that little bit of excitement would overwhelm him, and he’d need to lie down on the couch.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:32 am
Am I the only one who sees Ziggy not as a pathetic no-pants loser – but rather as a former Dictator of a banana republic that was ousted many years ago, and is thus even more pathetic? “Hail Ziggy!” they used to shout, until he was overthrown for wanting to give rights to animals – hence his statements of authoritarian legalese to his pets when he stated “No, you do not have the right to a fair trial” which would be ended with “because they never gave me the chance” as his eyes tear up and he looks wistfully in the direction of his former country.
Here we simply see his depraved loneliness – assured by the government so he does not try a new coup in some far off land – as he looks at a toaster and thinks about the family he once had that left him when he lost power – and his pants
July 17th, 2009 at 11:34 am
y107 buckyswife:
Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease — LET there be, somewhere out there, an alternate A3G that we never see. I am giddy at the very idea of a “strip in which everything else happens.” This would explain not only Nora’s time-and-space travel and the Young Lama’s Gaffe, but why the hell Margo would care. Does she not want Tim to reunite with his wife?!
I didn’t think Margo was necessarily against human happiness, per se. I always just assumed it failed to interest her, unless it affected her plans in some way.
Maybe, there’s a whole alternate universe of strips out there. A world where Judge Parker plots actually complete an arc, instead of just bouncing incompletely off one another when a new pair of ta-tas comes along to distract the authors. A world where someone finally asks Mary Worth, “And just what the fuck business is it of yours, anyway” — and she has an answer! That makes sense! A dream world where Brad and Toni get it on with their bad selves, and Rex Morgan shows up at Dingo’s door at midnight — soaked to the skin, trembling with cold and desire — and says simply, “Teach me.”
I WANT TO BELIEVE!!!
July 17th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Funky Winkerbean:
All depression! All the time! Don’t try to escape; it is futile!
Judge Parker:
And why shouldn’t a judge be a fabulous kisser? Hmmm?
July 17th, 2009 at 11:37 am
…… Nah.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:39 am
katya @ 26:
And why shouldn’t a judge be a fabulous kisser? Hmmm?
Uh, many judges, I believe, start out as lawyers…..
July 17th, 2009 at 11:43 am
I realize bringing historical points to bear against the entertaining Citizen Dog is sulking, but: the tax Parliament “raised” on tea that set off so much fuss in the 1770s was, in fact, cutting the tax to one-third of what it had been. The (reasonable) theory was that if the tax were low enough then the Colonists might actually pay it for a change instead of going to smugglers. But it’s still a funny comic strip.
Dad-Man in Jump Start is somehow able to detect reruns on the arthritic, might-as-well-be legacy strip he favors. He could almost join here.
Momma spent a fortune on tutors without checking that they were not actually a clumsily-built sort of homonym passed off as a punch line? And I didn’t even know the Love Is … pair played trumpets.
I would like it if Pibgorn could decide to just have one inexplicable storyline in which nothing happens at great redundant yet unhelpful expository length instead of its current twelve. Also, the Mets haven’t played baseball in Manhattan since 1963.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:43 am
I vaguely recall an issue of the X-Men from may years ago where Wolverine uses his claws to slice freshly baked bread and nobody else wants to eat the bread because they all know exactly where those claws have been.
It might have been a fever dream.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Marty Moon and Gil Thorp are currently having a 140-characters at a time flame war on twitter. (no really: http://twitter.com/CoachGilThorp http://twitter.com/MartyMoon ) It’s full of non-sequiturs, sudden jumps and incomprehensibility, which is just as it should be. Oh, and it’s dull.
So, speaking of Gil Thorp on Twitter, I note that his user icon is not the most recent version of him. In fact, it’s the same version that I used when I did that very short You-tube video which slowly zooms in on his face. The way I did that zoom, the upper right hand stays in focus while the lower left hand gets kind of blurry and I can’t help but note that not only did he crop the picture in the same way that I did, but the lower left hand of it is kind of blurry, but the upper right hand stays in focus. I assume this is a coincidence, but it’s weird. Everytime I see him pop up on my twitter feed, I get slightly confused.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:47 am
^That was probably a Claremont run.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:48 am
I distinctly remember an old Ziggy cartoon that read: “Loneliness is a one-slice toaster.” This appears to be the sequel, a determined attempt to hammer into the hearts of the readership that Ziggy needs help going through a whole loaf of bread before it gets moldy.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:52 am
#10 Uncle Lumpy— I’ve got one of those toasters. It’s a “Toastmaster”. It was given to my parents as a wedding gift in 1939, and it still works. There is one slight problem, though. If you touch it just right, it can give you a nasty shock. I guess that’s what makes it “Fun for the whole family!”.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:53 am
Does Wolverine have a head cold in this adventure? Because, really, he ought to just be able to recognize Peter as Spiderman by scent.
In fact, I bet he does, and this is just one long mind game on his part. Or Stan Lee’s!
(Also, I find it somewhat implausible that Logan would say “non-muties,” since Marvel mutants aren’t historically prone to referring to themselves with what is generally connoted to be a practically racial epithet.)
July 17th, 2009 at 11:58 am
A3G – “You know Margo! She’s beheaded the ambassador, raised a mercenary army and is attacking China as we speak. After she’s done, I think we’re going out for coffee. I hear it’s really good in this part of the world.”
July 17th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Spiderman continues to crush my optimism.
When Wolverine entered the strip, I thought, “Cool! Think of the possibilities!” And this is what we got – Wolverine uses his claws to cut up his food at Chez Mary Worth while Peter frets about accidentally revealing his identity. I really should have known it would look like this.
If we could look inside his tiny, tiny spider brain this is what we would find:
Percent of brain devoted to worrying about revealing his identity while simultaneously doing boneheaded things like wearing his spider suit to the doctor’s office – 18%
Television – 60%
Feeling emasculated because his wife makes more money than he does – 11%
J. Jonah Jameson – 8%
Fighting actual villains – 3%
July 17th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
I should really preview these posts. Yes, it should read “most non-mutes.”
July 17th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
I don’t usually comment on Spider-Man because… well, it’s Spider-Man. But I have to wonder: Just how much time did Lieber devote to drawing those tablecloths in the Escher Café today? I mean, it was clearly more than Stan Lee spent on the entire plot, but that’s not a statistically significant quantity.
And wouldn’t a better answer to Wolvie’s question been a simple, “This is New York, ‘Bub.’ You’re not even the strangest guy I’ve met since lunch!”
July 17th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
More on Gil Thorp’s Twitter Icon:
The icon: http://twitter.com/account/profile_image/CoachGilThorp?hreflang=en
The original image which is the basis for said icon: http://www.toonopedia.com/gilthorp.htm
My very short video which uses that image: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p__XzqnLDCQ
(Pause around 19 seconds)
. . . I have too much free time.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
A3G – I don’t know what Roger thinks, but I rather expect Margo is handling it by merrily tearing limbs off of assorted Chinese soldiers and/or unlucky bystanders. And probably viciously insulting them, as well.
Archie – Okay, seriously, is Bigfoot becoming a recurring character in Archie? I’m not really opposed to the idea, mind you, but I can’t help but fear that the fascinating and mysterious sasquatch will wind up being grossly misrepresented for the sake of a cheap laugh.
Crock – The poor accordion. Only the bagpipes are more unjustly vilified.
Curtis – You could completely alter the feel of the strip just by removing the inital panel, you know. Not that I would ever do such a thing.
DT – You know, I immediately thought of “Cirkus” by King Crimson, but really, even that isn’t quite nightmarish enough for what I expect Dick Tracy’s take will be like.
FW – Cindy finds misery and pessimism arousing? She must be the horniest thing this side of 9 Chickweed Lane.
GA – Wow. Gasoline Alley is bringing me closer to apostasy than Jerry Falwell ever did.
GT – Ah, the age-old hollow lie: selling sports to youngsters by promising them sex. I remember this from my own time as an aggressively un-sports-liking youth. Not that I’m bitter or anything.
Luann – Hear that sound? That’s the status quo, rushing back in upon them.
MT – “Be vewy qwiet! We’we hunting cowpowate executives! Uhuhuhuh!”
MW – “No, go ahead, Delilah. I’ll be all right. Watch out for any cliffs.”
Pluggers – What? No. No, that’s not even some kind of play on the term. You’re not allowed to do that.
Edison Lee – Wow! 1,000 strips later, it still sucks! Well, keep it up, Hambrock! Some day you too can celebrate your seventy-fifth anniversary with a giant wank-a-thon, just like Gasoline Alley! You’ve certainly got the right attitude about yourself.
WoI – Uh, what exactly are “prouects?”
July 17th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Boojum, AKA emo but manly, how’d you enjoy your trip to N.O.?
BTW, Emo but Manly would get you a lot of friends in the lower stretch of the quarter known as Boys Town.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
9CL: I hate thinking about this strip, but where’s he going to get the $12.95 to pay off the country bumpkin?
July 17th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
A3G: Does anyone have a clue what’s going on in Apartment 3-G?
What protocol did the lama not follow? Maybe letting the readers in on that little bit of information would have made yesterday’s strip more interesting.
And how’s Margo handling what? Did seeing Nora’s amazing technicolour hair-style send her into some kind of an epileptic seizure?
Archie: Another Bigfoot-related strip? And Betty’s wearing some kind of winky-eyed demon t-shirt. Did we catch the Riverdale gang at lunch just after their weekly ritual summoning of creatures from the netherworld to the mortal plane?
DT: I can already see a potential conflict here. Who’s going to pay to see the sideshow freaks when they can stare at the Tracy family for free?
FC: That’s a hot dog… yeah.
GA: Remember the good old days, when Slim would do things like toss meteors at black youths in a racist rage? Whatever happened to those days?
GT: Yes, my hands are very large. I’m gonna go take a nap. Then maybe I’ll call some doctors.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
But toasters ARE fun for the whole family – and here’s the photographic proof:
http://toaster.org/cards/best_toast.jpg
http://toaster.org/cards/happybreakfast.jpg
http://toaster.org/cards/kids_at_table.jpg
http://toaster.org/cards/toastmaster_toast_tavern.jpg
http://toaster.org/cards/1965TOASTMASTERkiss.jpg
Even Harry Truman agrees:
http://toaster.org/cards/truman_toasting.jpg
July 17th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Ziggy: Shouldn’t that sign read “Fun for the whole Pluggers family”?
July 17th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
heh. think I’ve luann’s strip pegged. the liberty meadow strip oddly features an “hello sailor” word balloon.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
My God, don’t any of you see it? That look in Marvin’s eye? He has laid a trap! Enticing the birds close enough he will now spring from beneath his beach bankie to devour them!
Tomorrow’s strip is sure to comment on him crapping feathers…
July 17th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
y108: Re FW:
f: Poop in her hand! Poop in her hand!
(Have I seen that ad too much?)
July 17th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
boojum #25: Sweet Jebus! I’ll be thinking about that comment of yours tonight. About 10:25 and again at 11:40.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Bootsy! How you, chère?
Yeah, the Quarter was the first place I was ever approached by a guy in, uh, quite that way. At 20, I was terrified and completely freaked out. But oddly… smug, as well.
You were sure ’nuff right about the heat. 100 degrees or more the entire time we were there, with humidity hovering around 120 percent. Maybe 130. Even our daughter, The Sylph, found it a trial. Me, I felt I was being rendered for the lard.
But hey, it’s New Orleans! While my wife attended her convention during the day, The Sylph and I prowled antique shops and vintage clothing stores on Magazine. (Who knew she would have a fondness for French Empire? THIS is why you take kids places!) And since she’s big into photography, we toured cemeteries everywhere, and the French Market.
We never stayed in NO during summers when we were in school, but we wanted the kids to experience the city at different ages. Now, at 16, our daughter’s near the age I was when I roamed the Quarter for the first time.
And the food! I can’t talk about it. Camellia Grill, Mahoney’s, The Gumbo Shop, Joey K’s, Mother’s, Salt Water Grill, Crescent City Steaks… we hit a bunch of neighborhood favorites, and splurged on Sunday bunch at Brennan’s for our anniversary. And do you know Hymel’s, out in the country on the River Road, near the base of the Sunshine Bridge? We took one day to tour plantations and gardens, and wound up there for their All-You-Can-Eat Boiled Shrimp Special. The Sylph stopped at three pounds of shrimp, plus boiled corn and potatoes. She was very nearly full.
So… yeah. We had a good time.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
And someday people will wonder about the strange naked teenager who runs around supermarket parking lots pretending to fly, dive-bombs scraps of old bread that fall out of the dumpster, and does his business on their car windshields.
Let’s be real, BigTed. That’s going to happen whether Marvin is raised by gulls or not. Ahhh, the beauty of the world. The paragon of animals. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust. Marvin delights not me.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Ziggy stares longingly at what promises to be the answer to his life’s crushing boredom. But the unemployable gnome lacks the income to buy this toaster… or, for that matter, toast.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
…and beignets and café au lait at Morning Call. And muffalettas at Central Grocery. And a coffee-and-mocha sno-ball (large pail) on Plum Street…
Dammit! Now I can’t concentrate on what I’m supposed to be doing!
July 17th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
So that’s what Peter considers “quick thinking.” This strip suddenly makes so much sense.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
If Ziggy follows up on that thought he’s having right now, we’ll never have to worry about teddytoad’s COTW scenario.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Marvin: “Mine?” “Mine.” “Mine.” “Mine.” “Mine.” “Mi-pyeeeow!! No, dude, if you want that you can HAVE it.”
July 17th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
S-M: Want to avoid looking suspicious? Then avoid doing whatever it is that Peter Parker is doing in panel 2. The flummoxed facial expression, the classic “I just barely got away with something” brow wipe — these are clues to the world that you are, in fact, flummoxed and have just barely gotten away with something . Such obviously-suspicious behavior should only be practiced in private. And probably not even then, I mean, what with Google Earth and all.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
I guess waiting for the RSS feed is not the way to get the jump on the Comics Curmudgeon comment page.
(Feed hit Google Reader five minutes ago, but there are comments above from three hours ago).
July 17th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Also, what happened in the last panel of Archie today? “Shucks! My favorite 0.2 mm ran out of ink, so I guess I’ll just finish up with a fat-ass Sharpie marker.”
July 17th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Today’s last-panel guest artist for Mary Worth – Margaret Keane!
Isn’t big eyed Mary cute?
July 17th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
#25 boojum: Actually, from your description, that alternate comics universe is kind of this site.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Good thing MJ was on the ball, as Peter’s attempt at “quick thinking” left him holding his head in pain.
I’m thinking Ziggy’s confusion stems from not knowing what a toaster is. It’s quite probable that a man who has yet to discover pants may also be unaware of toasted bread.
If Marvin were to do a Funky-style time jump, we would likely see a middle-aged, 400 pound Marvin sitting in the exact same spot on the beach, angrily shielding his coveted potato chips from hungry seagulls. Also, he would still be experiencing involuntary bowel movements.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
is it just me, or do “Red and Rover’s Sizzling Summer Suggestions” invoke memories of peanut butter and years of therapy?
July 17th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Marvin is a horrible comic populated by horrible characters horribly drawn who spout horrible dialogue.
Consider further: this horrible enterprise actually feeds and clothes an actual adult or group of adults, presumably with families. It is responsible for its own horrible little microeconomy.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
#28 — boojum:
I certainly hope you haven’t inadvertently offended Lawyerbob @ #6. Perhaps he can enlighten us to a degree as to the kissing prowess in general of attorneys. I’m sure this knowledge would be much appreciated by all and sundry.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
#62 Digger – I had gotten the impression that Marvin’s bowel movements are, in fact, quite voluntary indeed, and simply malicious in intent.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Logan admitting, in an emo but manly way, that it hurts every time his claws come out is one of the pillars on which my whole sexuality is based. The other one is him stabbing Anna Paquin through the chest.
Am I…. is there something wrong with me?
July 17th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
“Just wait untill THE WOLVERINE shows up!
He’ll eat stuff! At a resteraunt! And … uhm … watch broadway shows! Feed the pigeons, maybe?
Oh yeah! Just you wait. Just you wait.
Excelsior!”
July 17th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
“Thanks for the invite to dinner in your secret identity! Oh, wow, you guys are pretty cool for SUPERHEROES! Let me POP MY CLAWS so slice that food for you, PETER PARKER, WHO IS ALSO KNOWN AS SPIDERMAN!”
July 17th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Actually, what bugs me most about this arc is that Wolvie is supposed to have a superhuman sense of smell that allows him to track enemies from miles away. So why doesn’t he recognize Peter as Spiderman? Or is Peter’s Old Spice overwhelming the Mighty Mutie Nostrils?
July 17th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Josh, are you just cracking jokes now because that’s the schtick you’ve set for yourself and you can’t deviate from it anymore, or do you really believe the entire “Spider-Man” mythos would be better if it had no story at all and was just nothing but violence?
The reason “Spider-Man” became popular in the first place was because it was the first super-comic to depict more than just the hero’s crimefighting life. Yes, people read it because they WANT to watch the guy do his laundry.
And that’s not gonna change no matter how loud you whine. Now complain about something legitimately disturbing, like Wolvie’s blue hair.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
# 53, Boojum, I’m about to head out of the office for lunch, and am pondering the fastest avenue to a shrimp po’boy. You’re making me hungry! Since I’m lucky enough (some would disagree with how lucky I am to live here, esp. in July, August and September) I’m always pretty close to something delicious.
Ooh, maybe a muffaletta! Wait, what was I doing?
Oh, yeah, and something something the comics. Thorax sucks.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
I… I don’t read Spider-Man because i want to see him do his laundry. I had no idea that this was the comic-strip version of a reality TV series. Though it does explain a lot.
And if I had to choose between “no story at all, and just violence,” and “no story at all, and just having a nice piece of fish,” I’m pretty sure where my preference would lie.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
#51 zooby: Tee hee! :D Though, shouldn’t it be, “And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of crap?”
July 17th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
#71 Mars — Surely there’s some middle ground between “nothing but violence” and, uh, this? This is the strip wherein Peter Parker’s #1 activity is watching TV, his #2 activity is feeling inadequate because his wife makes more money than he is, and his #3 activity is either forgetting his costume or forgetting that he has his costume on under his clothes, whichever makes for more hijinks. My complaint is less about the lack of violence and more about the fact that the non-violent action is so consistently and laughably lame, and the violent action not really much better. (Spider-Man was disabled by a butler with a lead pipe, you might remember. And a brick. A brick!)
I admit to never having read the Spidey comic books, so maybe this exactly what you get from them too. But you know, the strip is meant to read by anyone, not just those who’ve read the Spider-Man books, and this is my honest reaction to it. Of course I don’t expect or even want anything to change based on my whining — if it did, I’d be out of business. I just think it’s funny. This blog is for things that I think are funny. Therefore, I shall continue with the whining; apologies if it offends.
Josh
July 17th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
I’m a former English major and current literature geek. I like books and movies that don’t have a lot of plot or action, that are character focused, and that rely on small, everyday moments to convey meaning. I’m not drawn to fantastically violent, action-packed fare.
But still: Spiderman sucks.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Uncle Lumpy @10: My parents still use that toaster. It’s a GE from around 19s61 (when they received it for a wedding present. Holy crap, that toaster is 48 years old!).
July 17th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
I don’t think Ziggy would ever commit suicide, because he’s far too happy being completely miserable. Only the promise of eternal damnation and torment in the fire pits of the inferno on the other side would be enough incentive for him to actually go through with it. One suspects that’s the main reason he keeps staggering through his miserable existence: the secret suspicion that he may not have sinned enough (likely, given the degree to which he fails to engage life around him) to actually qualify as one of Satan’s minions. Stay the course, Ziggy, maybe you won’t be redeemed after all in the end.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
71. Mars: I don’t mind that Wolverine has blue hair. Rex and June Morgan are on occasion shown with blue hair as well.
Hmm. The Morgans…two new X-Men?
July 17th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Josh: And the brick wasn’t even wielded by anybody – it just fell off a building!
Where’s your spider-sense now, Parker?
July 17th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Yeah, toast! What’s not to love?
July 17th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
DT- So if all the criminals are sideshow freaks does that mean that the circus is just left with normal looking people in business suits.
Luann- When Brad was kissing a girl I thought there goes all the gay jokes, but then he goes and faints and we are back
Marvin- For everyone questioning how a guy could just walk up to a baby on the beach and start messing with its hair, now we have the answer, his parents left him there to die.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
buckyswife @61: Yes. But I want the alternate comics universe to be real.
Katya @65: Good call! (And isn’t Lawyerbob looking especially fetching today?)
BE IT KNOWN BY THESE PRESENTS that I, boojum, AKA Emo But Manly, AKA Second Officer Boojum (Retired), have no personal knowledge or experience in the kissing of Lawyerbob. For all I know, he is One Hell of a Kisser. Kissing Lawyerbob may be a life-altering moment, a chest of dreams. (His chest may be a chest of dreams; I wouldn’t know. Really!) In fact, I imagine he IS a great kisser. Or I would if I, you know… imagined that. But I don’t. Imagine it. Or HIM! I’m not saying he — I don’t know what Lawyerbob imagines. If he does.
Not that lawyers, you know, don’t, much less can’t imagine…
Oh God, don’t put me in jail!
Not that a lawyer would, necessarily…
(whimper)
July 17th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
#1 Muffaroo – Regarding Luann, sometimes, once in a great while, there is kissing. Luann kissed Gunther right on the mouth once. The repercussions of that echo to this very day! Well, OK, they don’t. It’ll was swept under the rug and never spoken of again, just as this will be.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Wow – Marvin’s found himself dropped squarely in the middle of a puzzle from the Slylock Fox Sunday strip — “One of these seagulls is different from the others. Which one is it?” (Hint: It’s the one with his mouth open.)
July 17th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Come to think of it, if that’s a thought balloon above the seagull’s head, rather than a speech balloon, why is his mouth open at all?
July 17th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Okay, serious question for people who know more about comic books than I do (which would be pretty much everybody); is it out of character for Wolverine to basically refer to himself as a superhero in today’s Spiderman strip? I never would have thought that he would think of himself that way.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Wait, does that last line mean josh takes back everything he’s ever said about Shoe. Thats a lot of taking back.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
87# – When he says “superhero”, he’s usually just being ironic, or cynical. None of them in the Marvel universe think of themselves as superheroes, they just know that’s what the term is that the flatscans call them. Don’t ask me about flatscans.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Is there a font for Ziggy?
July 17th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
#88 Rob — I said “birds,” not “hideous mutant bird-man-hybrid-things that are an affront to God’s law.” My commentary on Shoe and the Pluggers chicken-lady stands.
Josh
July 17th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
I’ve been peeking at the latest Spider-Man story with horror ever since Wolverine first showed up. I am.. deeply shocked by the patheticness on display here. Pathetifail! I just.. I have no more.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
YY166. Chip Whittle: I actually also did long paragraphs incorporating the strip name in the middle of sentence with sometimes links at the beginning, back when I started snarking here. It all changed when I found out about the Build-A-Chron page. Sometimes, I’m glad to not see a strip being discussed; my imagining it is often more interesting than the real one. Also, after a while, I sampled most of the strips being discussed and just skip those that don’t interest me in the snarkage. But lesser-snarked strips always benefit from links, and many regulars provide them.
YY171 Baka Gaijin: Actually, Dingo’s phrasing of “returned to the States by Hillary Clinton in a gorilla suit” could men that either you or Hillary is wearing the suit… which one is worse? Discuss.
Also, now you know what happens when you fuel disturbing writers. I should know better, when in my APA I made the mistake of calling what one rather freewheeling writer had done, pushing the rating limit of the publication, as “literary slamdancing”. He took it as a challenge to produce what he would describe as such, and it took a few years for the shock to wear off. But, just like Dingo, it was fascinating and impossible to look away. :)
YKatya: What may be lesser-known to newer blog responders is that there is a forum for the blog, accessible from a link on the left column, where all kinds of discussions can happen for long pages if they want, even on political discourse (in the “cockpit” section), without breaking the flow of the comics discussions for long periods of time on the blog responses. There are numerous digressions on the blog responses, too, but usually not for very long, or for humanitarian reasons (such as a beloved pet passing away and a flood of sympathy stories being shared). The forum, however, does require registration; it figures that if you’re willing to spend time registering, you’re more willing to spend time thinking about your arguments. Not that there isn’t thought given to many speculations here!
July 17th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Will #43 – And if he’s been keeping it where I think he’s been keeping it, is the bumpkin even goona want it?
July 17th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
22. Shlomo: I take it you never watched the Tom & Jerry Movie, or else you’d have committed suicide.
25. boojum: I was shaking in giggles throughout your post, but the last sentence about Rex and Dingo nearly floored me. You’re the one on fire today.
29. Chip Whittle: I’m all for raising historical points in comic strips when the punchline is directly tied to them. It’s also, sadly, lazy cartooning to stay on clichés and not do research, especially today when it’s so easy to do it yourself – because if you don’t, your readers very well might. As for providing links, I still won’t click on Momma (can’t make me, can’t make me), and if you proclaim some sort of unholy team-up with Love Is, the whole should be buried in the darkest, dankest pit of Hell where even there it might fester the place with its stench.
71. Mars: while Wolvie always had blueish hair, the current palette in the newspaper strip is indeed perplexing; but so is the level of mundanity of the plot. I fully agree it’s the mix of quieter times and personal life with the requisite action that can make Spider-Man such a compelling hero. It’s also that Parker is supposed to be an intelligent individual, but does not act as such in this strip. The amount of Out Of Character acting is off the charts. The personality bits that make Peter charming and interesting are not there, only the pale imitations of some of the mundane actions with no understanding of how they’re made to add to the character. Same with Wolverine – in fact , here, the contrast is more than striking, it’s almost explosive, except that much action seems verboten to be shown in the strip. Josh is, as per usual, exaggerating for comedic effect a fault that is all-too-common in the strip recently.
…or, what Josh said in #75. And yes, let’s not forget that when there was action, the writer – purportedly the co-creator of the character, himself – seems to not have a clue what his “spider-sense” means, and lets him be knocked unconscious from a loose brick. This is similar to us proclaiming anything (even said brick) as more menacing than the supposedly-titular Dennis child. Ferns look more menacing than him. When a strip’s very foundation has been cut away and hollowed-out, and left to rot in front of our eyes, this is when we take keyboard to hand and proclaim our sadness in varying degrees of creativeness and humour.
75. Josh: No, rest assured, some of the best Spidey stories in the books have been fight-free, even conflict-free, even devoid of his costume for the entire 22 pages, yet have been moving, riveting and emotionally satisfying – because there was depth and feeling, not empty and falsely-setup “highjinks” and setups avoidable by a three-year-old. The bad spidey stories are the gratuitous ones, and the stip is nothing but gratuity. Yet we’re the ones paying… with our gnashing of teeth. And our soul.
81. Uncle Lumpy: I do not own a toaster and often decline toast at restaurant breakfasts; I feel toasting destroys what little nutritional value a piece of modern processed bread still possesses. And yet, occasionally, the urge to have a thick slice golden-brown and slathered with margarine can overwhelm me, especially at my sister’s place. So I can’t fault anyone.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
And finally, to bring comics back: I actually chuckled at today’s F Minus. Though I figure those shirts probably exist already – they’re too obvious not to.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
MT: Hey, isn’t that guy in the hunting cap the same guy who chained the raccoon to the log? Not many bit players get repeat roles in the same strip.
91: In the case of a comment on “Shoe”, I think your comment perches rather than stands. It also looks at the shiny mirror and rings the bell.
Yesterthread on JP: When my mother was in the early stages of Alzheimers, I visited a number of care centers. One nurse told me of the retired farmer who would dress himself in his bib overalls at 4 every afternoon. He was waiting for someone to take him out to the barn so he could help his (by then deceased) son milk his cows.
Boojum: Right now, I’m hearing Tom Waits sing/croak “I Wish I Was in New Orleans.” Have a great time with the family.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
S4th: How did the reasonably attractive Forths become such social misfits, showing up uninvited at cookouts, unable to fit in even with most of the other misfits at school, and Ted, apparently repressing his forbidden like for Aria from his own self and his own wife while nearly coming to blows with a male coworker over her? On that last one, I look forward to seeing how Ces will find the humor in it when Sally finds out about Ted’s open jealousy.
This week’s strip may disprove the theory of the Ted defenders that Sally was being unreasonably jealous as Ted had done nothing maritally improper with regard to Aria. Ted is clearly smitten, and a tango away from a rambling interview with the South Carolina news media.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
90 Jackuul
Here ya go. Fifth and sixth font down.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
75 Josh says: “This is the strip wherein Peter Parker’s #1 activity is watching TV, his #2 activity is feeling inadequate because his wife makes more money than he is, and his #3 activity is either forgetting his costume or forgetting that he has his costume on under his clothes…”
Let’s not forget #4, worrying about his dear Aunt May, and #5, dumping his dear Aunt May in the E.D. driveway. “Ugh, me hoot it hurts, sonny boy.”
July 17th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
41: “Cindy finds misery and pessimism arousing? She must be the horniest thing this side of 9 Chickweed Lane.”
It’s the Funkverse; misery & pessimism is all she’s got to work with.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
MW: “You go ahead, I’ll be just fine. No, go, have a good time. Don’t worry about me. I’ll just stay here.”
I’m wondering if Mary has traded in her salmon squares for some nice gefilte fish. Here, ess a bissel. It’ll cure your spilkes already.
July 17th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
S-M: I thought when Wolverine showed up this strip would get less lame. I underestimated the power of the writers to reduce the character of Wolverine to nothing more than the palest reflection of what he is in the comics. Then again, considering that’s what they did with Spider-man, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.
So, in short, can we axe Spider-man from the strip and have it star MJ? Maybe there won’t be any more action, and the plots will still be lame, but the strip will star a gorgeous redhead who wears tight/skimpy outfits. After all, it works for “Judge Parker.”
July 17th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
#95 Niall – Hell, I only watched the first ten minutes of the Tom & Jerry movie, and I damn near did myself in.
July 17th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Belaboring the Cindy Summers point (& isn’t belaboring one’s points what life’s all about? except for Ziggy, where it’s about toasters), I’m pasting in this multiple-choice that went into yesterday’s post this morning (oh god, my chronology is becoming Batiuked):
FW: CNN apparently hired Cindy for her mastery of that basic reportorial skill: Insulting Your Sources Before You’ve Even Asked Them a Question. She even managed to rub in the fact that this poor drunken slob hasn’t seen a woman (including perhaps a WIFE back in the States) for months. What are the likely results of her clever conversational gambit?
a) The lieutenant will get her press credentials revoked.
b) The lieutenant will punch her lights out.
c) The lieutenant will throw her down, rip off her Nam-era fatigues & spend months of pent-up jism inside her.
d) The lieutenant will pull his pistol & plug her between the eyes.
e) The lieutenant will say, “I’ve just learned my wife/fiancee/daughter/mother (pick one or more, this is Funkyland) has cancer… you BITCH.”
July 17th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
DtM: What’s with body parts sticking outside the panels? Dennis’ leg and Mr. Wilson’s elbow. How about Joey’s butt and Ma Mitchell’s back and Wilson’s left foot? Why don’t they leave the confines of the box? Is DtM trying to get all “artsy” on us?
Oh, well. That’s just art. What about Dennis pining away over Mr. Wilson. What does that say about Dennis’ relationship with his father. Unless, Mr. Wilson is….hmmm.
July 17th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
65 Katya and 83 boojum: Um, oh my. Let’s just say that because of my duty to maintain attorney-client confidentiality, I cannot kiss and tell (rimshot). Anyway, considering most of the judges I’ve appeared before, I don’t want to think about how they kiss.
July 17th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Actually, I can kind of get into Wolverine as a confused homeless man the young Parker couple found on a park bench and are now treating him to the meal he messily devouring. It’s happened several times in the comic that Wolverine lost his memory and had to be taken care of while he regained his strength and his mind.
Oh, but wait. In this strip, he’s supposed to be normal. And on vacation.
July 17th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Josh,
If you were out here, you would certainly stash your comment #91 away for COTW consideration.
July 17th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
105: redux
f: Poop in her hand! Poop in her hand!
(Have I seen that ad too much?)
July 17th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
75. Josh – Mark Trail, on the contrary, could never be disabled by a butler with a lead pipe. He’d punch off that frenchy mustache in a heartbeat. Mark Trail would also roundhouse kick the brick while apologizing to it.
July 17th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
#103 MsCynical: Cool things don’t make Spider-Man cool; Spider-Man makes cool things lame.
July 17th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
104. commodorejohn: I only saw clips in the Nostalgia Critic’s review of it. It hurts to alternatively gasp in horror and clutch your sides laughing back and forth. (No linkie to clickie, work frowns on that website. Goggle works well though.)
July 17th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
(…google, that is. The Goggle, it will do nothing. *exeunt, stage left*)
July 17th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Take note (especially True Fable). Spiderman can be replaced by a goat!
Spidergoat, Spidergoat.
Does whatever a Spidergoat does.
July 17th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
The first Spider-man panel makes sense if you consider the context. Between MJ’s direct-to-video starlet lifestyle and Peter’s utterly gutless inability to stand up to Jameson (coupled with the proportionate photographic talent of a spider) the Parkers can only afford to eat at the worst restaurants in New York. Such eateries often have insufficient flatware sets during peak hours and the pork chops are so dry and underprepared that nothing short of unbreakable adamantium combat claws can cut through them.
Tom Wilson seems to have a poor grasp on the look of technology as we’ve seen in his attempts to draw a web accessible computer terminals (shaped like toilets), answering machines that are indistinguishable from bricks and undialable telephones. Any seasoned reader should know that that’s not a toaster. It’s obviously an X-Box 360 as seen through the, let’s say,… unique eye of Tom Wilson.
July 17th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
“You two ain’t like most non-muties I’ve met”?
Did he… did he seriously just use an ethnic slur towards his own race?
July 17th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
#114 Niall – Yes, I’ve seen his take before. Believe me, it’s even worse when you don’t have a snide commentary track. I was never a huge T&J fan, myself (give me the Looney Tunes any day,) but damn, watching the movie not only ignore, but systematically destroy everything that was good about the cartoons in the first ten or fifteen minutes of running time just about made me want to cry.
July 17th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
I remember Wolverine’s claws being painful for him in the movie, but in the comic books, didn’t he have some sort of metal things on the back of his hands that the claws popped out of instead of just ripping thru skin? (I’m i saw those metal things in the comic strip, too )
July 17th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Your desperation has led you to forget everything you know of either seagulls or Marvin. Death pecking is not a possibility. A relentless diarrhetic war of pitiless, sphincterless attrition is indicated.
July 17th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
121 Jp
You’re right. We are about to witness the crappiest fight of the century. Arial gull attacks countered by Marvin dropping his diapers and shooting back (hippo style).
Remind me not to visit that beach anytime soon.
July 17th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Gack. That should be Aerial, not Arial.
July 17th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
#123 Sequitur: I don’t know, maybe Ted Forth’s office flirtation is visiting that beach.
July 17th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
124 Comics Fan
Arial Gull. I guess that could be her name. In which case Ted better watch himself when she flies over him. But if she can get rid of Marvin, more power to her.
July 17th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
Thank you 100 – but I meant the squiggly font in Ziggy today, and we often see now.
July 17th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Ya know, I’m feeling a bit Friday goofy right now and contrary to what Katya might say, I haven’t even had a drink yet. I think I’ll retire early tonight. I feel Ziggymortus setting in. I think I’ll go make some toast.
July 17th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
#108 — Lawyerbob:
Are you implying (or even just flat-out saying) that as an attorney you kiss your clients, perhaps even on a regular basis?
Ha, ha, ha!
So sorry, but the way you worded that just jumped out at me…
July 17th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
Spiderman:
It must be just me, because I haven’t seen any other comments along this line, but I gotta say:
In panel three, it looks more to me as though M.J. is smoking a crack pipe than using a fork to eat a bite of food. I don’t know why I see it that way, but I do. Maybe it’s the poorly drawn “artistry.”
For the record, let it be known that I don’t smoke crack, never have, my friends and family don’t either, and I don’t know anyone who does. Ha, ha!
July 17th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
#84 — boojum:
Good sucking up, boojum, good sucking up. I’m sure you’ve well-appeased Lawyerbob. Not that it was ever necessary in the first place, I’m sure.
Just wanted to say that your comment was really funny and enjoyable to read.
July 17th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Look at the cord on that “toaster”. It’s really a telephone, see? Family fun! Ziggy is merely . . . well, I can’t come up with a logical explanation for why Ziggy’s reaction is funny. But, then, what else is new?
July 17th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
Boojum Just remembering eating at some of those places has left me *swoon* delirious and faint and ravenous. I’m eyeing the cheap fares on Southwest’s site. Years ago, Tim Reid had a TV show set in the NO restaurant world that was, at the time, one of the best things being broadcast. Each episode made me sorry I didnt live in New Orleans anymore.
y110, Katya So sorry you took my comment the wrong way. I didn’t mean for it to seem cold, just amusing (CC is a sort of a humor site, after all). Thank goodness buckyswife, y105, got my joke.
I figured the more veteran posters could, would, (and ultimately did) give a more cogent and succinct reply to your question, and thought I would just leave a brief reply before going off to do battle against the forces of landscaping darkness. The great thing about the CC is there’s lots of people around to answer any questions. I suppose I should refrain from posting here until its 5 o’clock somewhere. Again, sorry for seeming so abrupt- I’ll know better next time.
But “cowed”? Really? Tsk. My, my, my.
Spider Man This is the first Spider Man story I’ve paid much attention to in forever. I love the absurdity of them all in a restaurant after vanquishing Doc Oc. I’m also thinking Wolverine is probably a much better tipper than Spidy.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
I don’t know how many people know this, but today is Josh’s birthday.
^-.-^ Cassandra wishes you a Happy Birthday, too, Josh .
July 17th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
Josh Happy Birthday! Thank goodness Jamus and Cassandra remembered (how do they do it?).
July 17th, 2009 at 9:50 pm
I kinda skimmed the comics and comments today, some things popped out at me, so to speak. April and her boyfriend in JP are kissin’…..Brad and Toni are FINALLY kissin’, but I don’t think anything’s gonna come of it….Edda and Amos buck naked in the lake reminded me of a cellphone picture a friend and co-worker showed me a few days ago of a lady being pleasured by an octopus….trust me, you DON’T wanna know….and there’s all the questions of Wolverine’s antics…
1. Wolverine’s Hair. Since the thirties, it was traditional for colorists to use blue to highlight anything colored black, like Superman’s hair or Batman’s cape. Black ink was expensive as hell to reproduce at the printer’s, you see. This is why Batman was dressed in blue for over fifty years until the movies came out and printing processes improved.
2. Wolverine’s atrocious table manners. Wolverine is a crack black-ops agent with close to ninety years experience. In that time, he’s wined and dined with fabulous women, Nazi officers he was about to kill, warlords of various nationalities, politicians…i’m sure he knows how to use a knife and fork. I think this is the Marvel equivalent of Superman taking a kid for a fly in the sky.
3. Wolverine’s claws hurting ” every time”. Okay, yeah, I gotta call bullshit on this one. See, back when he lost the adamantium, and it was discovered that he has bone claws, sure, it hurt like hell the first time he popped them, but then he explained to Jubilee ( nineties teenage X-Man) that it was like with pierced ears and that the pain went away. It was only AFTER Hugh Jackman delivered the line to a sympathetic Anna Paquin as Rogue in the first X-Men movie that popping the claws hurt” every time”. Talk about milking it.
4. Wolverine’s not being able to smell Peter.
If this were a regular comic i’d guess he was playing with Peter and MJ, but as it is, i’m expecting them to sit in front of the TV for hours watching ” Dog The Bounty Hunter” or something.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Oh…forgot
5. Wolverine’s use of the term” non-muties”.
I think it’s an example of taking back a word of hate. If anyone could pull it off, it’s Wolverine.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
Straw at Yesterthread #101 – You’ve pretty much got the gist of A3G’s plot. I think we’re supposed to see Tim as being weak, thin, and disheveled though, not fresh as a summer ham. We don’t yet know what happened to Eric, and I can’t for the life of me figure out why the ambassador is upset, unless it’s because the happy reunion undermined the real reason for the press conference.
Katya yesterthread – I’m actually glad you brought all that up, because I completely forgot about that rule.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Spider-Man: Interestingly, last week on Chris’ Invincible Super Blog, I saw a panel from a 1980s Spider-Man comic which had the gag of him forgetting to change into his spideypants. He had on pajama bottoms instead. So I guess the forgotten uniform IS part of the Spider-Man milieu, a decades-long meme that only Spider-Man aficionados appreciate.
FW: I guess this strip would depress me if I knew what the fuck was going on. All I can muster now is a vague shrug and a desire to re-read today’s Sally Forth.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
Spider-Man: Well, the tablecloths are nice.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
#120 Jason1981 –
“I remember Wolverine’s claws being painful for him in the movie, but in the comic books, didn’t he have some sort of metal things on the back of his hands that the claws popped out of instead of just ripping thru skin? (I’m i saw those metal things in the comic strip, too )”
His costume’s gloves have a metal housing for the claws, probably to save on glove replacement costs.
Also, Wolverine has been shot, stabbed, disemboweled and incinerated until he was nothing but bones. The claws might hurt when he uses them, but it’s a trivial amount of pain compared to what he goes through in the average X-Men adventure.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
122. Sequitur: Hmm. Arial gulls attacking Ziggy, who couldn’t ask for help as the Seriff’s office would be ineffectual against them…
*ducks real low*
July 17th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
See, we non-mutants have to be careful with our use of the M-word, but they can say it whenever they want. At the XMCA, it’s all “Mutie, are you out of your mind?” and “Mutie, please!”
Or as they like to say in the barracks,
“For it’s ‘Mutie’ this, and ‘Mutie’ that,
And ‘Tell ‘em where to go!’
But it’s ‘Save us, Mister Mutant’
When Magneto’s minions show!”
July 17th, 2009 at 11:12 pm
… or should that be
“But it’s ‘Xavier of ‘is country’
When Magneto’s minions show!”
?
July 17th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
Marvin: Surrounded by the ibis-headed minions of Thoth, Marvin cleverly disguises himself as Pharoah Ramses in order to protect the Chips of– uh, Chipness! This is actually a greater adventure than the Spider-Man newspaper strip! Then again, so was my last prostate exam.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:36 pm
“Tho’ they’ve belted you and flayed you, after Col. Stryker made you, You’re a better man than I am, Wolverine” ?
July 17th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
Josh:
Nothing in Pluggers™ is inconsistent with this story line:
Plugger DogHusband killed and partly cannibalized Plugger HenWife. Any later appearances by HenWife are Classics or flashbacks. Hence the many scenes of buying heavy doublestrength trash bags, driving out to lonely woods, burying and digging, dodging phone calls, etc.
Hence her lonely and desperate look when the car she tried to flee in ran out of gas and she tried pitifully to beg for enough change to get anywhere.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
I’ve missed the last couple days of comics and, since the Wednesday (arguably Tuesday) thread, have only gotten to Josh’s comments and this thread. This was because I finally got the chance to go outside the country for the 1st time (47 years). To visit Canada.
I didn’t get a chance to post about it in advance. I was going to say to pray for me as I would be going into the land of the FOOB! However, since we went to Montreal, I figure it was far enough away to remain safe — and even further from Mtiguffin!
I loved how, as soon as we crossed the border, it was like suddenly entering Europe, what with all the kilometer signs, French language, etc. I liked that the other way through the border stop showed a nice, big “United States of America” sign across over the lanes.
One of the highlights was a bus tour of the city, bilingually recited by a driver with a major Chicagoan accent. I liked that guy.
The Globe & Mail has a small comics section, eh? (I liked the drawing style in Fisher, though)
I’ll try to sum up some strips Wed-Fri at the best time ever — when the new Saturday strips come up.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
#132 — sugarpie:
Sorry, sugarpie, that I didn’t get your sense of humor. In my defense, however, you were the first to answer my query, and I had no way of knowing how serious Josh might be on the issue.
I get, obviously, that CC is, more than anything else, a funny website, of course. That’s one of its main attributes! Second to that is the wonderful intelligence displayed by all here.
So, again, I apologize, and please, let’s let bygones be bygones. ‘K?
July 17th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
Although I have never been inclined to work up the hatred for seagulls that I have noted omnipresent in the psyches of all true psychopaths, (and perhaps that’s why), nevertheless I am forced to admit that I am in sympathy with Marvin today.
I once took a can of tuna fish to the beach with me and opened it for a simple appropriate seaside lunch. If I had known the scent of that tuna would literally drive the gulls insane I would have done it long before. And, like Marvin, I shared nothing – not a single bit of it – with the screeching desperados.
July 18th, 2009 at 12:24 am
148, Katya Well, of course! Bygones should always be bygones. Mmmwah! There! Now we’ve made up.
One of the nice things here is there’s always some new comic strip to make fun of (instead of each other).
July 18th, 2009 at 12:46 am
Is this really Wolverine, the most beloved mutant of all time? Given that this is the Spider-Man strip, I believe what we are seeing is some neutered alternate reality version of the true X Man. Really now, would any man with a set of functioning testicles use adamantium claws to play with his food like a bored five year old?
July 18th, 2009 at 1:34 am
When Peter thinks, “Quick thinking, MJ!” he is referring not to MJ’s comment but her brazen pose, calculated to distract Wolverine. I think we all know exactly what kind of “Superhero Movie” she has just “starred” in.
July 18th, 2009 at 1:34 am
Sorry for the late programming notice but Turner Classic Movies is showing a bunch of Dick Tracy movies from noon Eastern Time on Saturday (July 17). Featured villains include Splitface, Cueball (with a “speeding train [judging] the bald strangler”), The Claw, Gruesome (Boris Karloff), and finally Warren Beatty. And there’s probably almost no chance of them trying to explain the casino crime scheme in all that.
July 18th, 2009 at 1:54 am
For the past I-don’t-know-how-long, I have been blithely reading Apartment 3-G every day, thinking that eventually all would become clear to me. It hasn’t happened.
I wonder if someone here might be able to explain the current story arc to me? Because I am completely lost. I can’t tell WHAT’S going on. Or who’s who. Or even how many “who’s” there are (meaning Generic Guys distinguishable only by hair color).
Or, if such information has already been posted, could someone please direct me to it?
Thank you in advance!
July 18th, 2009 at 2:07 am
Saturday
MW— Delilah is already considering an immediate major life decision: How best to purge herself of Mary’s salmon squares before they kill her. I’m predicting that the next strip begins with a “HROOP!”.
July 18th, 2009 at 2:22 am
Ooh, Chatty, your fatal flaw was waiting for it to make sense! I discovered about, I dunno, a year into reading A3G that it will never really make sense, so you just let the plot wash over you and hope Margo flips out every so often. Her anger is like punctuation in A3G plotlines.
So far, the best I can tell, is that Tim Mills went to Tibet (or a Tibet-like country) quite some time ago, was taken prisoner by the Chinese, and his wife tried for a long time to find him, but he was given up for lost and/or dead. Meanwhile Tim’s brother Eric decides to go rescue Tim, as he’s sure Tim is alive.
So Eric leaves his gallery to Margo’s charge, goes off, wanders around with a monk for a while, talks to some old dude, finds Tim ill but still alive, and leaves himself a message knowing Margo is a snoop and will listen to HIS answering machine. He proposes to Margo and also leaves a message for Tim’s wife Nora that Tim is alive. Nora was ready to move on with her life so the message upsets her, and she doesn’t believe it.
Other plots happen. Margo overhears a breaking news story that Eric has helped a lama escape imprisonment, so Margo’s rich dad flies her to India/Tibet/China/where ever for the news conference. There we see Tim come out and Nora there to greet him, but so far, no sign of Eric.
Yes, I like A3G. There, I said it.
July 18th, 2009 at 2:39 am
#154 ChattyGenes: Oh, how I long for your songwriting gifts! I’m itching to do a Forbidden Broadway-style A3G plot synopsis like the one they did for “Les Miserables”. “Then he gets involved in the French Revolution…but not the big famous one a little later one you thought you didn’t know anything about…”
Unfortunately, even if I did have your lyrical genius ;) I’d still be required to have a freakin’ clue what’s going on in A3G. Damn.
July 18th, 2009 at 2:49 am
ChattyGenes: I gave a smart-assed answer to your question a month or so ago: June 19th, 2009 at 8:10 pm.
Since then, the nightly news announced that the long-missing Young Lama has been smuggled out to India, with the help of Eric Mills, AKA Margo’s Maybe Fiancé. Margo and her father Martin, from whom she is semi-estranged, have flown to India — presumably to meet him, or at least for Martin to be proud all over him. .On the plane, Martin read Tim Mills’ journal. (I don’t believe we were told what it contained.)
On arrival, Margo was unimpressed. (Cows in the street!) Since Martin has Capital-C Connections in India and China, they were met by Roger, the right-hand man to the ambassador, and taken to a press conference, where we rather expected to see Eric Mills. On the way, Roger tells them that Nora, Tim’s wife, had earlier made valiant and long-sustained efforts to find her husband, only to be rebuffed at every turn; in the end, she returned to New York and apparently gave up the search. (This may explain why she is currently engaged to another man, Tom, with whom she had the rather uncomfortable little conversation about the death of her husband which might not actually be, you know, a death and all.)
At the press conference, it is not Eric but the Dali Lama who emerges for the press conference. Since his English in only good enough for Eton and Harrow, he brings someone else out on stage. Surprise! It’s not Eric, either. It’s the escaped Young Lama, who tells of the heroic friendship of a brave American, whom he brings out on stage next. Surprise again! It’s not Eric Mills again. Instead, it’s his brother Tim, who was imprisoned with TYL and now looks rather the worse for wear. How somebody (who?) went back to the prison and got Tim out at this stage of the game is, of course, never explained. Perhaps it was Eric, who has STILL not been produced when a joyful cry of “Tim!” pierces the marketplace. Everyone turns to see (wait for it): Surprise! — not Eric (again) but Nora, who must have done some fancy booking on Expedia to get here in time. Then we’re back in the hotel room and the Ambassador is pissed for some reason and Margo is stressed out for some reason that is supposed to be clear to everyone.
In today’s strip, of course, we find out the reason: Margo is as confused and frustrated as we are. This does not bode well.
Stay tuned. You’ll pay for your entire seat, but you’ll only need the edge!
July 18th, 2009 at 2:52 am
And yeah, by the time I posted, Sheila Sternwell had already beaten me to the punch. But there was NO WAY I was going to make my brain all hurty for nothing.
July 18th, 2009 at 2:53 am
666CL: (15th)”Nihilistic”? Not the word I was thinking of, but….. yeah. (16th)They just wanted to avoid obnoxious jerks, but Brooke is antireligiously obsessed, so forget it. (17th) Whatever, at least it’s not Thorax.
MW: (15th) Mary the fascist: ‘express feelings or I declare them nonexistant, even if you do indeed feel them, and — of course, only the “right” conclusion is allowed!’ (17th) Mary tries old cornball preachy “story” quasi-endings.
A3G: (15th) Margo, in a flash! (16th) Who? …..Wha’?!? (17th) last panel = all A3Gs!
DT: (15th) Tess, you’re wanted in Mary Worth! And….. “Swade”??? (16th) “Hi, Dad — Mom’s gone Kookoo!” (17th) They already ARE a circus.
ReFOOB: (15th) Eric training early. (18th) More adulthood-changing-nothing. (17th) Pacing, Lynn, pacing…
The Catching-Up-In-Vain Mind of Edison Lee: (15th) If 3-year-olds tried political satire… (17th) Who cares?
Ghost-Who-Is-Just-A-Prick: (17th) All that crap for nothing?! BOXCAR!!!
Popeye: (see Phantom)
S-M: (17th) It isn’t!
July 18th, 2009 at 4:41 am
140: I can see why Wolverine would have something that would keep his gloves from being ruined, but those metal housings have been shown on the back of his bare hands.
(IIRC, the 90s x-men animated series showed that some woman he knew put them in to keep him from feeling pain when the claws came out. Dunno where the metal housings came from in the comic book, though)
July 18th, 2009 at 4:42 am
arrgh, stupid keyboard….i typed in the e-mail address wrong with my last post. lol
July 18th, 2009 at 5:14 am
It takes a long time to type up an A3G summary, doesn’t it, boojum? I was shocked. Almost as shocked as when I went back to refresh my memory and saw that this is a story that’s been going on for over a year.
At this rate of one day lasting 2 months, A3G must be in about 1977 by now.
July 18th, 2009 at 6:57 am
But for one lousy ‘l’, this could have been a tale of true high adventure. Forbidden romance! Bravery and derring-do! Traditions challenged and borders breached! Highly prized fibers! Even-toed ungulates and the men who love them!
But no-o-o-o-o, we’re stuck with this boring “Tibet-like” shit.
July 18th, 2009 at 8:34 am
Between FriendsSo, how long until he starts beating her?
July 18th, 2009 at 9:12 am
S-M: I hope Wolverine heads for the kitchen sink before he retracts those claws. It would be really tacky to go lunging at Doc Ock with a set of greasy blades smeared with A-1 Sauce.
July 18th, 2009 at 9:19 am
#156 Sheila Sternwell and #158 boojum. Thank you to you both! You had me laughing:-) And I think I’ve got it now…well, sort of anyway.
# mollificent. You’ve got me blushing:-) Unfortunately, I’m not that familiar with Forbidden Broadway and Les Mis, but it has occurred to me that this crazy Apt 3-G plotline is about as confusing as a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta. (Do you know G&S?)
Don’t know if anything will come of that, but it’s a parody possibility I’ve been thinking about…
July 18th, 2009 at 9:38 am
Here in garbage-strewn Toronto, the Spider-man strip ran in the largest daily for several years in the 80’s and 90’s. Over the course of that long run, it never ceased to amaze me that a story line about a super hero could be so utterly boring and action-free. Apparently, it has actually gotten worse. It makes Mary Worth look like a Mixed Martial Arts tournament.
July 18th, 2009 at 9:51 am
158 boojum: somebody actually gets paid to think this up??! And this is only the Margo story!!!
Also it’s nice to know that the hotel rooms in India are decorated by the same firm that decorated Motel 6.
July 18th, 2009 at 10:03 am
So Dagwood was serious???
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090718/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_wienermobile_wreck
July 18th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Little A @ 169 (May I call you Little A?) —
Yeah. I had to leave out the current Luanne sub-story elements for the sake of, er, clarity. But it is, after all, so very sub a story.
Here it is: Back on the purported prairie, which we haven’t seen, Luanne’s possibly abusive daddy may have to sell the ranch. Her brother took two whole panels to tell her this before he, too, lost all interest.
There is no current Tommie plot line. Imagine our collective surprise.
July 18th, 2009 at 10:34 am
DTracy – The question now is how soon Tracy will make the connection between freakishness and eviltude and start blasting.
GThorp – “Hello, Mr. Thorp. You and I have something to talk about, hmmmm?”
Luann – “Ah, this is what I… hey, was that tree there a minute ago?”
MTrail – “Joey! Don’t kick the bucket now!”
Non Seq – “Forget the bird. Follow the river!”
Pluggers – You’re a plugger if you think expensive candles are worth buying. You’re also a plugger if you don’t think expensive candles are worth buying. You’re a plugger because we say so. Submit. SUBMIT!
R=R – I like the idea that the ice cream truck is bedecked with ice cream cones and other little bits of detritus that manifest around the brain-damaged Gumbo family. It gives me hope that this will camouflage it sufficiently from them that it might be able to run all of them over, and maybe take some of the bleeding squirrels with them. Clem can hog hors-d’oeuvres at the funeral and blog about it before he realizes that without his perennial victims, he’s doomed to a slow death from starvation.
Brenda Starr Destroyer @152 – I always imagined Ginger on “Gilligan’s Island” having starred in an endless string of low-budget porno movies that took place on tropical islands, with titles like “Dick Lovers of Donga Donga” and “Pole Smokers of Pago Pago.”
Jumper @149 – I thought I’d read somewhere that vultures were the only birds with a sense of smell. Then again, “somewhere” could have been Mark Trail, or Wikipedia! Still, is it possible that the gulls were already insane?
July 18th, 2009 at 10:44 am
One-eyed Wolfdog: Well, I mean… Who doesn’t love a little even-toed ungulate, once in a while? Or, uh, so I’ve heard. On the intertubes.
Sheila Sternwell: Yes, A3G plot summaries are like sculpting water. I believe they’re time-consuming for the very reason you suggest @ 156 — they’re against nature. A3G, like all high poetry, must be experienced directly and whole, with the whole person alive to nuance and minute sensations. There is no prose “meaning.”
ChattyGenes: Yes, please, on the G&S! A Mikado tone will work nicely for the Dharamsala second-unit stuff — with Margo, of course, playing both the Grand Poobah and the Lord High Executioner. (And please, please, please have a chorus line of identical A3G males singing “If You’re Wondering Who We Are….” I smell TONY!)
For New York, you might need a more contemporary and chaotic injection of Sondheim. Again thinking only of Margo (and who doesn’t?), a blend of Assassins and Sweeney Todd seems about right. But mavbe a little retro, going back to his Sharks and Jets vibe, to explain the fashion choices.
July 18th, 2009 at 10:47 am
Working title: A3G&S!!
July 18th, 2009 at 11:00 am
A3G – Lose it, Margo. Lose it.
BR – Okay, the first emoticon thing wasn’t really that funny, but the foray into proper ASCII art made me smile.
Crankshaft – What.
DT – Yep.
FW – Wow. I haven’t seen banter this free of chemistry since Star Wars Episode II. Just hope she doesn’t ask him about sand.
GA – Please, someone kill him already.
GT – Oh my God, are we going to do a “Gil has a crazy stalker” storyline? Is that where this is going? Oh please oh please oh please…
JP – Why do I have the feeling that Randy’s interrupted dinner is actually going to be more exciting than Spider-Man’s?
Love Is… – a vacation in Funky Winkerbean.
Luann – “So now do we do the thing where you put your thing in my thing?”
“My God, woman, what kind of scum do you take me for?”
MT – WHAM! Kick those no-good barrels, Joey!
MW – Meanwhile, Delilah thinks, “Wow! I can touch both ends of my digestive tract at the same time!” Also, I think Mary is turning into Ethel Merman.
MC – Aww…
PBS – I love this strip.
PC – Buzz Aldrin is pretty kickass for an old man, isn’t he? You can’t even discuss the event without using three whole exclamation points!!!
Shoe – This is what Gary Brookins thinks a yuppie looks like.
SM – “Meanwhile, where things are actually happening…”
July 18th, 2009 at 11:01 am
I’ll start you:
If you’re wondering who we are…..
We’re a little confused ourselves…..
Did we each come out of a jar…..?
Are we from identical shelves…..?
July 18th, 2009 at 11:15 am
#160 Mibbitmaker – I’m glad you’re up to speed now. I particularly appreciated your Dick Tracy recap. Love that Swade guy!
#170 SandyH – That must be June Morgan’s house. Thank you! Goodnight, everyone!
Y’know, Jack Ziegler did a lot of toaster-based cartoons (”Born to eat toast” being a favorite) so maybe that Ziggy comic was an homage..? Or not. Food for thought, anyway. Or rather, toast for thought.
Yeah, toast.
S-M – Wolverine’s been hanging out with Lynn Johnston. At least the words “Chomp!” “Chew!” “Slurp”and “Smack!” aren’t printed next to his head.
Phantom – Boy, there’s an Old Jungle Saying for any occasion. I’ll bet there a little kiosk somewhere in the Bengalla jungle that sells Jungle Saying greeting cards. In the Bandar tongue, of course.
I wonder what “Born to eat toast” looks like in the Bandar tongue.
Pluggers – Thanks again to Reed Hoover for once more pointing out that everyone is a Plugger.
Crankshaft – * “Old men work in gardens to keep from going to seed.”
* Old jungle saying.
July 18th, 2009 at 11:18 am
LuAnn is back home in Fargo
And Tommie’s been checked as cargo
We’re here in Tibet with Margo
Oooooooo . . . .
July 18th, 2009 at 11:19 am
@177 John? As to linking Wolverine with zombieFOOB – he’s Canadian and unkillable. Works for me.
July 18th, 2009 at 11:24 am
C’shaft: Why is Batiuk wasting his time writing comic strips? Why, with sharp wit like this, he could be creating bumper stickers, or T-shirt slogans, or submissions to Pluggers.
Frazz: “Why do you need $10 worth of giant underpants?” Oh, if I had a dollar for every time I’ve been asked that question…
FW: You know what’s worse than sullen, terminally depressed people? Sullen, terminally depressed people trying to flirt.
MW: Panel 1: Mary tips the hat to another strip well-known for its celebration of mundanity and extremely limited view of gender roles. Panel 2: Delilah sobs with relief as she breathes glurge-free air for the first time in weeks.
July 18th, 2009 at 11:31 am
If you try to know who we are
It will tax your attention span
Not a one of us has a scar
Not a one of us has a tan.
In city hotel or prayer hut
We vary alone in haircut
There’s nothing else to compare but
Oooooooo . . . .
July 18th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Blondie – Seriously, Elmo is five years old? I figured he was maybe eight or ten. Now I just wonder if whoever it is who produces Blondie has ever actually seen a child up close.
Tundra – Seriously, snowmen jokes in July?
July 18th, 2009 at 11:46 am
9CL: Thorax’s junk: the next great athletic performance enhancement scourge?
July 18th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Sunday FOOB Warning: In tomorrow’s reprint, Elly, having had her fill of Mike trying to get her attention, decides to stick John with watching the kids so she can saunter off somewhere else and be filled with despair that her children play and want her to look at them instead of doing what she thinks children really love: sitting very quietly, staring off into space and not bothering Mommy with their cruel, selfish, unfair demands for love and attention. Eventually, she will want to control their lives because they failed to realize that everything is about her needs, her hopes, her fears, her everything.[/rant]
July 18th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Uncle Lumpy: I bow, sir, in true admiration. And the Sondheim?
July 18th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
The way she’s hectoring Delilah to stay in a loveless marriage, Mary Worth is starting to remind me of the Aunts from The Handmaid’s Tale. Indeed, Santa Rosa as a tacky Gilead would make a lot of sense. What bothers me is that I’ve only just come to this conclusion.
July 18th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
#161 JasonTKD1981 –
“140: I can see why Wolverine would have something that would keep his gloves from being ruined, but those metal housings have been shown on the back of his bare hands.
(IIRC, the 90s x-men animated series showed that some woman he knew put them in to keep him from feeling pain when the claws came out. Dunno where the metal housings came from in the comic book, though)”
I don’t recall ever having read any dialogue in the comics discussing the housings, so it could be a situation where each individual team of writers/artists have come up with their own interpretation. Since Wolverine appears regularly in about a dozen comic book titles, a cartoon series and movies, I guess we could have a few dozen different interpretations.
July 18th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
#182 Winky’s Spleen –
“Blondie – Seriously, Elmo is five years old? I figured he was maybe eight or ten. Now I just wonder if whoever it is who produces Blondie has ever actually seen a child up close.”
I’m pretty sure Elmo has been represented to be much older in previous strips. Whichever zombie is currently writing Blondie must not have done their homework.
July 18th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Brad and Toni Show
It’s not that they are just kissin’. He clearly has his hand on her butt today. That’s the daily strip equivalent of “a night of utter abandon.”
I’m just saying.
July 18th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
If feeding the pigeons is all the imagination Logan has as to what constitutes an awesome time in NYC, I can’t imagine that ANYONE would find hanging with a superhero to be anythin’ special….that’s right, even Ziggy would be bored.
July 18th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
I’ve recently noticed that the denizens of Rex Morgan, M.D. have only two expressions available to them: worry/concern or righteous anger/determination. Guess that’s ‘cuz in their world, unlike in our normal one, serious, potentially earth-shattering events could occur at any moment!
July 18th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
#167 ChattyGenes,
I love Gilbert & Sullivan, though I’m mostly familiar with “The Mikado” (due to the movie “Topsy-Turvy”, which I’ve watched WAY too many times.)
If you do write a G&S parody, I swear by all that is unholy (i.e. Margo) that I will sing it and post it to YouTube. I’m not sure if that’s a threat or a promise. (I’m good with Sondheim too, of course. ;))
July 18th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Funky Winkerbean:
Ooh! The tiniest of smiles on the army guy’s face!
But it won’t last. Sigh…I know it won’t. I’ve been well-trained.
Hagar the Horrible:
All I can say is: Hagar is so whipped.
July 18th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
Hey, it’s fun for the whole family!
(I couldn’t find “Born to eat toast” and I don’t have access to a scanner, but there’s more toast-related Jack Ziegler stuff out there…)
July 18th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Judge Parker:
Ah, our good old class system, alive and well even in the comics, as in the following dialogue spoken at a restaurant:
“Good to see you, Judge Parker…”
(Yeah, I’ll bet it is; if the guy acts subservient enough, the judge just might leave a big fat tip. So you give up your dignity for a little cash; isn’t that the American way?)
“Thank you, Armand…”
(Note the casual use of the first name here. The judge, of course, has never even had to request permission to call the employee by his given name; the fact that he is a judge and the other man is a lowly restaurant worker is all the permission that is needed.)
As an added fillip, the guy has a French name, which shows that the judge and April are going to a classy restaurant. Ha, ha!
July 18th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Mark Trail:
Is Joey kicking those drums really hard to disguise the sound of the gun firing when the hitman sends the bullet straight into Mark’s poor, unsuspecting back?
Mary Worth:
Whaddaya wanna bet that Delilah, looking so lost and upset, is going to run straight into that rat Charley, who (really) wants nothing more than to console her in her hour of need?
July 18th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
A3G: Pssst! Third-Panel Margo: Your shoulder harness has slipped off. But, uh, given the William Shatner level of emoting, perhaps it’s just as well…..
Seriously: Wouldn’t a Shatner Index of Dramatic… Tension! be great? Margo seems to be at about 7 Shats right now. (Only the Great One himself has ever achieved the full 10 Shats. I believe it was in that Twilight Zone thing.)
JP: Okay, I knew something was up yesterday, with the kissing! Is CIA Agent April Bowers only nuzzling up suggestively to Randy Parker — not that I’m complaining, any more than Randy here — only because she’s assigned to wrap up the Frankie D’Vito mob case? Did anyone call this yet? And if the tension is, however implausibly, still real, I vote for “April Bowers” to be modern Cockney for “Golden Showers,” and for Young Parker to learn a whole new way to … work it like a claw, and call him Randy.
I hate to disagree with Katya’s brilliant Marxist analysis, but I’m seeing bourgeois sexual awkwardness here. (Besides, has anyone ever had a waiter introduce himself as, “Hello, I’m Lieutenant Colonel Himmelfarb-Pfyphe, and I’ll be serving you this evening”?)
Armand (dripping with Joan Collins malice): Well, well… Judge Parker. Haven’t seen you around here in a while. (Not since you got a little something fum between my legs a few weeks back.)
Randy (nervously interrupting): Oh, hey — Armand! Did you happen to notice I’m here with a GIRL…..?” (We’ll talk soon. Promise!)
Just because his former opponent was a dick doesn’t mean he can’t add 2 and 2.
MW: Is… Mary waiting for the third plate to come down? Her sad clown eyes seem to suggest it’s stuck to the ceiling. Group Topic: Are Salmon Squares the New Flubber? Discuss.
Of course, I always get that sad look, too, when the continued existence of FBOFW arises from my deepest subconscious.
MT: I’m sorry — that is not a WHAM! dance move. Try a little more Fosse, a little less Twyla Tharp. And put your groin in it!
And pssssst again! Narration Box: Young Dick Cheney there can hear you!!
July 18th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
#197 — boojum:
Oh, my poor boojum, do you see sexual awkwardness everywhere? So sad.
I’m just “josh”ing you; please don’t be insulted! :)
July 18th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
#197 boojum – I’ll grant you the Twilight Zone episode, but “KHAAAAANNN!!!” has to be at least a 9-Shat scene.
July 18th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
The Gross Trilogy of the Day — Curtis (spotted complexion — plus using own unfortunate condition as cynical ploy. Sad), BBlues (hairy womanlegs — apologies to unshaven feminists out there), and the worst of all, 666CL (Thorax dipping even less than before. Brooke is just evil!)
July 18th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
#197 boojum – I don’t think that’s Fosse so much as Mel Brooks. That looks like the deleted breakdance sequence from Springtime For Hitler.
July 18th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Oh my god. I woke up a bit drowsy, looked at the Marvin strip, and although I knew it was chips yesterday – it looked like he was eating his own shit today.
July 18th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Mark Trail: I’m not sure if that guy was shot or discovered George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley among the barrels.
July 18th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Katya:
Not at all. If there’s one thing I wear as a badge of honor from having read this site, it is my growing ability to see sexual awkwardness everywhere, yes everywhere, in the comics. But with JP, it’s a little like shooting fish in a barrel. Great, big, wall-eyed, denial-in-a-flopsweat fish.
Join me, won’t you? It’s fun!
July 18th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Blondie
Elmo is 5 the same way Jack Benny was 39.
He walks into the Bumsteads’ house any time he wants to and spends his mornings at a bus stop with Dagwood.
July 18th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
MW: Mary Worth is really Lynn Johnston, which explains almost too much. And panel 2… the hypermelodramatic posing of Troubled Woman du Jour is enough all by itself without need of context, dialogue or story to get in the way. Or not.
A3G: This is the first time in her life that Margo has ever shown empathy. With the reader, in this case.
DtM: They showed “Animal House” by mistake.
DT: Fe Fi?? AAAUGH! Ringo the Ringmaster?? Bash Locher with your drumsticks please, Mr. Starr!
ReFOOB: Restless Nag Syndrome (as we saw the other day, John has that, too)
FW: Some things never change. With this strip, I wish everything never changed (since the ’80s).
GT: The baseball itself did it! Gil will be hounded by that furshlugginer baseball all summer. And it plays hardball!
JP: Romance interupted.
Luann: Romance (sex?) not interupted.
Luann and Judge Parker swap places?
MT: WHAM! goes the shot. And when Trail punches the perpetrator, it’ll go BANG!
Ghost-Who-Chills-The-Wine-Later: The real Old Jungle Saying actually goes, “The voice of the douchebag Phantom fills the smug.” (in the Bandaid Tongue)
Pluggers also have different ideas of what is worth wearing. For example, husband plugger here thinks wife plugger should wear a burqa.
July 18th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
I think Shep Trumbo is using a proxy. He has some sap doing his dirty work while he establishes an alibi. I think he hates Coach Thorp, not because he kicked Trumbo off the team, but because Gil’s father caused Shep’s grandfather, Dalton, to be blacklisted from Hollywood. This is a whole generation-spanning vengeance thing.
July 18th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
Luann: So, not only does Brad kiss Toni to shut her up while she was apologizing , he actually put her hand on her buttt while they’re lying there.
I think this is part of Doc Ock’s plan to get Wolverine’s adamantium. “Step 1: Secretly remove Wolverine’s balls and give them to Brad Degroot. “
July 18th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
177: I doubt Wolverine’s been hanging with Lynn Jonston. He doesn’t have slobber and food flying everywhere while he’s eating.
He may be more pathetic than Spider-Man, but at least he has better table manners than the Pattersons.
July 18th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
boojum #197: One word: “KHAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
If that ain’t 10 Shats I don’t know what IS!
July 18th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
7/18
S-M: That’s not a darker note. It’s the soon-to-be-dashed hope that something might actually happen.
GT: We don’t know who’s playing these pranks on Gil, but I can tell you one thing. He’s got a lot of balls. (Ducks)
Phantom: “Shoot you? What, am I made out of ammo? Nah, I’m just gonna wait for you to fall into a pit or get bitten by a snake or some damn thing.
Luann: Awwww. But if I see Chickweed-style fuckhands, I’m switching the channel. For one thing, there’s only so many positions that are credible with Brad’s leg being how it is.
M-Dawg: See comics? This is how you deal with the sexting issue.
S4th: Considering that his new ardor for softball is somehow related to a repressed desire to bone his office wife, yeah, you don’t need that.
Popeye: Okay, so how long until these idiots resort to cannibalism? (Sadly, Olive is pretty safe on that one.)
July 18th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
Ziggy: Ha, ha, it’s funny because young people define everything in computer terms. [/sarcasm]
Zits: Is it just me or is the mix that’s highlighted really hard to read? I stared at it for a few minutes, mostly getting weird things like “Shady,” “Slady,” and “Sucky.” Then I finally realized it was “Study,” which isn’t quite as interesting as trying to think of what would be on a “sucky” mix and why he would have it on his MP3 player in the first place.
July 18th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
brick bradford and commodorejohn:
I only said I thought it was the Zone. “KHAAAAAAN!!” would certainly have to be a strong contender. There might even be a tie for the honor of the Golden Ten Shats.
In fact, for my own purposes, I’d like to have a semi-definitive scale for my shiny new Index of Dramatic… Tension! But I’m not as up on movies and actors as many Mudges here. And since Josh has left us to play by ourselves…
Anyone want to weigh in on what documentable emotive performance — film, TV, radio, theater, cartoon, commercial or infomercial — might define different levels, from 1 to the coveted 10? We might also name the different levels.
I’m thinking Keanu Reeves (I really don’t think the particular performance matters much, here) for 2 Shats, or “Meh” Level. Hayden Christensen, whose performance as young Anakin Skywalker has been unfavorably compared to a Connecticut red brick (http://www.sheldoncomics.com/archive/070205.html), might be a shoe-in for 1 Shat (** Snork ** I’m awake!!) As I’ve said, since Shatner is the standard, it’s only fair that he stand alone at 10 Shats.
But where would Billy Mays’ OxyClean rants fall on the scale? Or Kate Hepburn, whose early performance famously “ran the gamut of emotions from A to B” — where is she? Or Kirk Douglas, The Clinched One? I’m open to suggestions.
But please — no Luanne or Tommie. The system is not equipped for negative numbers.
July 18th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
Jo-osh (said in a petulant, whiny tone) –
I know it’s the weekend and all, and I suppose you have the right to a life, too, but you have us all so spoiled. I need my daily fix, and I need it now!
I’m tired of yesterthread (stomps foot)!
I want fresh new snarkiness from you (pouts)!
Is my short attention span what’s wrong with this country much? Ha, ha, ha!
July 18th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Wolverine: “Y’know, you two aren’t like most non-muties I’ve met. Most of them have run screaming in horror from my atrocious table manners. And my unbridled neediness doesn’t appeal to them too much, either.”
July 18th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
“He may buy it just to find out; when it fails to alleviate his soul-rending lonliness [sic], he’ll just take it into the bathtub in an attempt to end it all that will end up failing, furthering his humiliation.”
Wow. Even Ziggy would have to be pretty pathetic to fail to kill himself with a toaster in the tub. Either that or immortal. My god, that’s it! Characters from zombie comics are immortal! Trapped forever in the forced, unfunny Truman Shows that are their lives, a textbook immortality-worse-than-death. Some have learned to continue smiling and playing along, knowing there are worse fates than being funny forever; others have simply gone mad and let themselves get sucked into the Stepford world; but those whose humor revolved around being fate’s punching bags, like Ziggy… well, what goes on behind the scenes of those strips is best left to the imaginations of far sicker minds than my own.
July 18th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Well, since we’re surely near the end of another thread and at that point where it’s considered socially acceptable to go a little off-script, I’d just like to say that I have just a few moments ago discovered a key component of the Ultimate Question to the Ultimate Answer of Life, the Universe and Everything – and that component is; Young’s Double Chocolate Stout. Mmm… (Hey, that was worth at least a couple of Shats.)
In conclusion, I’d like to now do for you my Harold Saunders impersonation;
“Water. Thoisty. Sick man.”
Thank you. You’re too kind.
Gotta go take the Night Train to Mundo Fine now…
July 18th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
MT: Joey was just knocked down by the JackElrod ball, which is now flying past Mark.
July 18th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
In our paper, Garfield is printed right below Luann, so today (Saturday the 18th) I got this:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v298/wraithakamrak/garfield_luann_2009-07-18.jpg
July 18th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Luann I suppose today’s strip is as close to fruition as any Evans plot will get. And as irritated as I usually am by Evan’s perpetual comicus interruptus, I have to say I think today’s single panel is, um… sort of sweet. With that embarrasing admission, I acknowledge forfeiture of all snarking rights for
a weekuntill Monday.192, Mollificent I’m with you, sister! Topsy-Turvy is one of my all time favorites, too. It has it all, doesn’t it? Laughs, great acting, ridiculous yet engrossing musical productions, social commentary, inspired madness…
July 18th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Moving at a tangent…
A wand’ring meddler, I,
A bag of syllogisms.
With mealy aphorisms
I snipe the whole day long,
My nose is set to ‘Snoop’
And should a victim listen
Their free will I’ll be dissin’
Until their spirits droop!
Until their spirits droop!
Are you in love with someone wrong?
I’ll lecture you,
Oh, blather, blather!
Has your mate been away too long?
I’ll hector too,
Oh, blather, blather!
I’ll lull your brain to sleep
With notions paper-deep
And many bromides cheap
Make dust seem new
Oh, blather, blather!
For if ’status quo’ that’s ‘ante’ is what’s wanted
I’ve yards of good advice I can bestow!
If you think that the Tow’r of London’s haunted
I’ll haunt you more than they will ever know!
I’ll show up at your home all uninvited
With salmon squares to poison all your mirth
And even when you sleep, you’ll still be frighted
Before the awful face of Mary Worth!
…
July 18th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
221, Muffaroo Bravo!!!! I can just hear it (and well, actually I was singing along), being performed Mary, but actually dubbed in by Jimmie D. Gilmore.
July 18th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
“Loneliness,” under Ziggy, is misspelled.
*withdraws with apologetic wave*
July 18th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
Re the MIKADO parody and Apt 3-G: Great! GO FOR IT all of you who have already begun! Seriously. I LOVE what’s up so far. (I’ll comment further on your collective efforts when I have time to do more than just skim this thread–right now I’m in a hurry.)
I love Mikado (and the movie Topsy Turvy!) too. But I was thinking of writing a parody to a different G&S song from a different operetta. If I can and do, it will only add to the fun.
Back later…!
July 18th, 2009 at 9:52 pm
#217: Um — things you say in a prison! Pass!
#221:
I am the very model of a modern old-aged medd-le-r
Of all advice that’s stilted, tired, and dull, I am a pedd-le-r
If you should need a spouse or child or parent put back in his place
I’ll be there with a grin most menacing upon my ghastly face
My salmon squares will heal the breach, I’ll make your life all bett-l-er
I am the very model of a modern old-aged medd-le-r!
I guess I’d better stick with my day job. . . .
July 18th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
225, Amateur No, no, no! Stick with the G&S! Day jobs? Hmmmph! Who needs them? The real money is in light operetta these days. Again, Bravo!
July 18th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
OMG!! This is awesome. I wish I was better at songwriting…
July 18th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Blondie – Elmo is supposed to be FIVE??
July 18th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
S-M — In that third panel, Peter looks like a crazed hybrid between Alfred E. Neumann and that really bummed-out guy in THE LAST JUDGMENT.
July 18th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
Okay I’m back. Kudos to all the G&S parody writers above!
Heavens, why have we never stumbled upon this before?–the idea that comics and comics characters are fantastic material for G&S parodies?
Or perhaps we have, and I wasn’t CC reading at the time…
I’m off to work on my own…:-)
July 18th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
LuAnn – Well, Josh called this one – too bad Saturday arrived before they could actually start screwing on the sidewalk. But what would really make this complete would be TJ, hiding behind a tree and weeping angry, bitter tears. Or Dirk showing up to beat Brad into a bloody pulp with his crutches.
But I don’t expect this new romantic angle to go too far – something’s got to throw the wrench in things. Most likely Brad discovering that his new girlfriend has a history of appearing in pornos. I mean, “Toni Daytona”? Give me a break.
July 18th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
Old friends. New techniques.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3734236818/sizes/o/
July 19th, 2009 at 12:38 am
Family Circus: Say, has anyone else noticed the book they’re reading? “Pig and Rat get Lost”, featuring the characters from Pearls Before Swine. What the heck is this? Stephen Pastis is way too cool for this comic!
(I just checked the online version, and it’s too small to see the book clearly. I guess you need a newspaper.)
July 19th, 2009 at 1:00 am
#229 Poteet— I’m sorry, but I don’t see the resemblance at all. In my opinion, I’m much better looking than Peter. He’s lacking two things that are absolutely necessary for achieving my level of comics handsomeness: a sensuous set of beady eyes and a suave gap in his teeth. Thus, unlike myself, he’ll always be on the plain-to-ugly side. Frankly, I think he looks more like Frederic March:
http://www.altfg.com/Stars/d/dr-jekyll-and-mr-hyde-march-hopkins.jpg
But thanks for thinking of me!
July 19th, 2009 at 1:14 am
# 234 Alfred — So sorry! I momentarily forgot that you post here, and of course you definitely have a roguish charm that Peter completely lacks.
When I clicked on your link, I saw the unnerving word “Forbidden.” But I googled an image of Frederic March as Mr. Hyde, and yes, I agree with you. Now I hope that Frederic March doesn’t post here too. Best wishes!
July 19th, 2009 at 1:36 am
#235 Poteet— Aw, shucks. (Blushes in a roguishly charming way…)
As to the link, it works just fine for me. I guess it’s the Jekyll-and-Hyde nature of our computers.
July 19th, 2009 at 1:50 am
@232 naughty naughty!
July 19th, 2009 at 2:23 am
S-M: After establishing that we’re ignoring the whole “heightened sense of smell” thing we get confirmation that we’re ignoring the “heightened sense of hearing” too. I’m going to have to go out on a limb and assume that Stan Lee is completely unaware of the whole “heightened senses” thing.
July 19th, 2009 at 6:50 am
dropped by from Wings…ha. love it. the whole spiderman strip just seems awkward. i have many times wondered about the casual moments between adventures, not any more. someone knock a wall down quick…
July 19th, 2009 at 7:39 am
233 NoVan: It’s worth it to get the print version (freshly plucked from the Charlotte Observer box). Pig and Rat from PBS are on the back cover of “Pig and Rat get Lost,” which is as much of a fervent wish as a title, considering how many times FC has been lampooned in PBS.
Is it on? Oh, it’s SO on.
July 19th, 2009 at 8:25 am
BTW, the Keane children retire from Bill’s reading to watch an episode of The Simpsons, a detail that may not be visible in digital format. Comiccon must be coming up, what with all these meta-references.
July 19th, 2009 at 8:54 am
Sunday thoughts:
MT: all that info, and no mention of mad photoshop mash-up skilz?!?
CdS: Alice as Madusa of the Inhumans!
SF, A&J: Ces goes meta again, as does JJ.
SFx: number of winning answers determines the starting couples for tonight’s festivities.
PV: leave the puns to other strips, please!
MC: awwww.
Lio: made of win and PV.
July 19th, 2009 at 9:05 am
Boojum: I’m not at all sure how we’d rate The Hamisaurus’ performance in “Boston Legal”. It was all totally over the top, yet also totally self-aware. Self-parody carried to the level of fine acting, actually. Quite an achievement, if you think of it.
Kirk Douglas in “Spartacus” saying, “All the power of ROOOOMME!” 7 Shats.
July 19th, 2009 at 10:07 am
214, 217: I don’t know if we’re near the end of this thread. Josh may well be doing fun and artistic-type things this weekend.
Brenda: I think Pug just got back after having constructed a crude raft from fallen branches and monkey dung. And now Brenda’s in the same danger!
Ziggy: Sorry, Zig, you still only qualify for the Tunnel of Despair.
Pluggers: …delight in tearing up green, living things for no reason.
Rex: Man, you don’t need any more excitement when you’ve got electricians.
Phantom: Why is Captain What’s-her-name out of uniform?
Dick: More importantly, if you’re in a crowd, why are you reading the funny papers? Look where you’re going, you lout!
July 19th, 2009 at 10:14 am
It’s Zig-gy, it’s Zig-gy
He’s bland, he’s fleshy, he’s nude
It’s Zig-gy, it’s Zig-gy
He’s fun for a family that’s crude
July 19th, 2009 at 10:15 am
PLUGGERS: You are a Plugger if you get thrown a few bucks to fire up your rattling old payloader to level a field in the exburbs. (Because a developer needs to throw up a cheap cinderblock cube that will become a new, desperately needed auto parts store, {true story where I live! they put the eyesore up, it went out of business in a year and has sat there empty for a decade} – even though modern cars are increasingly made to be too complicated to tinker with.) A few years ago, the Plugger would have been ripping up farmland to make room for McMansions, but the bright spot in the lousy economy is, these monsters have been put on hold…..Anyway – need something flattened, call on a happy Plugger – the clanks and wheezes are music to his flappy ears as he plans a major shopping spree at Walmart using the Big Bucks they’re paying him!
July 19th, 2009 at 10:15 am
reFOOB: “I need a break from pretending I care about my children; you take over for a while.”
FW: Never, ever say “scuttlebutt” again, please. (Does anyone actually use that phrase in real life? I’ve only heard it in movies featuring a spunky gal reporter from the 1940s.)
Lio: Eva’s just passing on a message from Delilah in “Mary Worth.”
Pickles: This has happened to me. Trust me, Earl, even if you don’t remember, she will. And you’ll be stuck wondering why she always “accidentally” bags your heavy items on top of the bread and tomatoes.
Pluggers like to plow up pristine landscapes just for fun.
July 19th, 2009 at 10:24 am
A3G – The press conference dissolves into chaos and Margo isn’t there in the middle of it, slaughtering bystanders in the confusion? Not fair.
BB – Uh, yeah. Lieutenant, you realize that you’re not actually in the Army, right? This whole thing is just an elaborate simulacrum designed to keep (the very officially military) General Halftrack from issuing his senile, deranged orders to a group that actually has to listen to and obey him.
Crock – Every time Crock revisits this concept, it gets more horrifying and grotesque. Now it’s revealed that the chicken is actually complicit in his own demise? Oh God.
DT – EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
FC – Oh how I hope Pig and Rat Get Lost is one of those childrens’ books written by Rat. I would pay a lot of money to see the looks on the faces of the siblings Circus when a dozen innocent bystanders die in a hitchhiking attempt gone horribly wrong.
FW – ARGH STOP IT
JP – Oh, come on. After all the foreshadowing with Mimi, we get some two-bit con for our villain?
Lio – Aw man, if only the Giant Gila Monster had made an appearance…
MT – Hey bats :[, Jackelrod’s got your number…
MW – There is so much to love about today’s Mary Worth: the increasingly strained look in Mary’s eyes as she tries to justify not meddling until things get interesting to herself, the radiant aura of lovey, loving love around the two lovebirds in her addled brain, Delilah’s neckerchief, apparently borrowed from Blaze. However, my very favorite has to be Mary wondering why people make relationships difficult. Read from one point of view, you could almost come to the jaw-dropping conclusion that Mary Worth is advocating free love, in a proposition amusingly refuted by xkcd. While this is doubtless not the intended meaning, it’s so hilarious that it really should be.
MC – Okay, even if it doesn’t lead to the doubtlessly hilarious attempt at a relationship we’ve all been hoping for, I really like this strip. The writing’s good, and there’s a lot of nice subtle changes in expression on Ashley. Bravo, Team My Cage!
PBS – Wow. It’s like Funky Winkerbean, only it doesn’t suck.
PV – Wow, someone is finally dealing with the rampaging kaiju by trying to get it to go away without having to kill it! Val apparently has more sense than the entire JDA.
RMMD – Should I feel bad for laughing at this?
SF – Ted, you’re wonderful.
SM – Can we get “Even Dr. Octopus can learn something from the Internet!” on a T-shirt? Pleeeaaase?
July 19th, 2009 at 11:05 am
MW: “Where there is love, there is pain”? Is this a “Funky Winkerbean” crossover?
As for Delilah, given that she seems to have suddenly been stricken cross-eyed, I hope the call is to the eye doctor.
July 19th, 2009 at 11:10 am
re: Shats.
Anthony in FOOB: “I’ve got not hoooooooooome!”
2 Shats and a STFU.
July 19th, 2009 at 11:11 am
Sorry.
Anthony in FOOB: “I’ve got no hooooooooome!”
2 Shats and a STFU
Might as well quote the mustached nerd correctly.
Remember: “preview” is your friend.
July 19th, 2009 at 11:13 am
SM: More information about adamantium claws can be found on the internet.
(Really? No one said this yet? I thought that reference was a required element of these comments!)
DtM: Dennis wears out pretty quickly for a little kid. Then again, we shouldn’t forget that he’s actually a 52-year-old “little person” with a pack-a-day habit.
MW: “Where there is love, there is pain”: Moy & Giella once again give us a discomfiting glimpse into Mary’s sexual proclivities.
And when did the Charterstone enclosure get moved to the desert? Is that supposed to decrease the likelihood of the inmates escaping?
July 19th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Did the Albany Times-Union cut its online comics, or at least the Sundays? I get a blank page when clicking on Comics…
Family Circus: okay, this has to be a dig back at pastis in panel 1. It could even have been funny; but the father blithely and robotically continuing to read the story and seemingly not noticing everyone leaving makes no sense. Maybe, though, he just took a deep breath to start, opened his mouth.. and stayed like that, immobile, and the kids waiting, waiting, then just ditching stupid daddy for real entertainment. That would make more sense.
Pearls Before Swine: Um, Pastis, I just turned 42. Not funny.
Garfield: Panel 1 scared me.
Dick Tracy: HOLY MUTHER WHAT THE FUGLY GAHHHHHHH …yeah, my call on the clowns being scary was correct, and in spades. STAY AWAY PEOPLE. Do not look!
Marmaduke: Not a single panel manages to disspell the subtext of Marm coming over to ravage the cute lady visitor. Every next panel I told myself it would disspell the notion, but no – and the penultimate panel is what cinched it. Really, if they don’t want us to read it pervertly, they shouldn’t make it so easy.
My Cage! Yessss! Ashley Sunday, and more fuel for Norm/Ashley crashing attempt at romance! :)
July 19th, 2009 at 11:30 am
MT & dying bats: No “human connection”? Well, no, if all you care about is whether or not humans can get sick. But there very well could be a connection in terms of spreading the fungus. (See Elizabeth Kolbert’s excellent—and distressing— article on mass extinctions in the May 25 New Yorker.) Sorry to be so serious—but geez, Elrod, you could at portray this situation to be as grave and horrific as it actually is.
At least he didn’t blame the economy….
July 19th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Looks like Pastis has responded to the Family Circus dig on his blog:
http://stephanpastis.wordpress.com/
July 19th, 2009 at 11:59 am
#253 Niall – Yeah, the Times Union apparently pulls from Comics Kingdom, which hasn’t opened for me yet this morning. I’m really pissed, too, because that’s where I go to use the “Zoom” feature to read the answers in Slylock Fox – and today I really, really want to use the “zoom” to see Pig and Rat in FC… and I really don’t want to shell out money to buy the damned World Herald. So, somehow, this is the Omaha World Herald’s fault.
July 19th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Mary Worth – I used to have a writing teacher who repeated the cliche “Show, don’t tell.” yet even with the graphic aspect of this horrid storyline, telling is all Moy can do.
There’s a reason these thoughts are private! Listening in (or in this case reading) Mary’s private thoughts is about as attractive as watching her masturbate, a situation I would not imagine as attractive.
And why is Delilah not wearing her slut fetish top anymore?
I don’t care for this Delilah, not one bit.
July 19th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
MW: Incidentally, why is Dr. Jeff canoodling with one of the women from Big Love in the fifth panel?
July 19th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Bats are our only flying mammels? Hokey smokes!
July 19th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Oh, since there’s always new people wondering where we get the Sunday comics: check out Dean Booth’s wonderful Sunday Comics Viewer!
July 19th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
259: gliding =/= flying. ;-)
July 19th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
9CL (yes, I still read Sundays…mock me if you will): I’m frightened. I own that dress. STOP SPYING ON ME, BROOKE!! (Also, I thought today’s comic was lovely, and had some of the strip’s old sweetness without all the egomaniacal BS that’s crept in. Sigh. Again, mock me…I can take it.)
FC: ZING! You win this round, Keane…
OBH: I’ll admit it. I “Awwwwed”. This comic consisitently manages to be endearing and slightly snide at the same time, which is a delicate balance very difficult to achieve.
MC: Awww (and also eek…I’ve actually HAD that almost exact conversation. TMI? Oh, well…)
Lio: *wild applause*
(P.S. re: Pastis’ blog: Hahaha! A very good-natured riposte.)
July 19th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Pig and Rat were lost.
“I told you we shouldn’t have taken that shortcut home from the bowling alley,” said Pig.
“Shut up,” said Rat. “We’ll just hitch a ride with somebody going by.”
But nobody wanted to stop for a rat and a pig.
“Is that a pig trying to hitchhike?” they said. “That’s the biggest rat I ever saw! Yuck!”
“Nuts! This isn’t working,” said Pig.
Suddenly Rat had an idea. “There’s a bulldozer over there,” he said. “Let’s see if the keys are in it.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” said Pig.
“Shut up,” said Rat. “Here are the keys! Score!”
Rat started the bulldozer, and Pig hopped in the big shovel on the front to ride along.
Rat put the bulldozer in gear, and it lurched backward with a big bump.
“I must have picked reverse by mistake,” said Rat. “What did I hit?”
Pig gasped. “You seem to have run over and killed four melon-headed children!” said Pig, looking down. “Oh, no! What are we going to do?”
“No problem,” said Rat. “This baby has a backhoe, too.”
July 19th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
FW A prisoner exchange? In Iraq? Ummm… no? Anyone taking US soldiers prisoner is doing a kidnapping for ransom, or else propaganda videos and murder. Anyone they would want released is a terrorist, and the US government would not do that… it would just invite more kidnappings of US soldiers.
The situation laid out in FW bears no resemblance to the situation on the ground or any historical events. Perhaps things are radically different, what with the Iraq war going on and on and on in the Funkyverse… Perhaps the “writing” should somehow make that clear.
I know, I know… forget about it, it’s Funkytown…
July 19th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
# 254 buckyswife — Thank you. I was trying to figure out what was meant by “no human connection,” especially since bat caves are being closed to humans precisely because of a possible human connection. It didn’t even occur to me that the Elrodball might be referring to whether humans might also get sick, which is of course all that ever really matters to some people (growf).
And yet I still feel grateful because MT may inform some people who haven’t yet heard about this spreading catastrophe. Sorry, rant over.
July 19th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
# 263 Airforbes — Excellent!
July 19th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
It looks like Wolverine is eating cookies. Mmm, cookies.
July 19th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Dr. Weird@264: Agreed. Batiuk also expects his readers to believe that Wally’s been held prisoner for 12 years (since he was captured in October 2008 and in the Funkyverse it’s now 2020 [ten-year time-jump + 2 of actual time]), that he actually gained weight during captivity to boot. Wait’ll everyone in Funkytown learns that he’s also converted to Islam…
July 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Duh! Make that “October 2006″.
July 19th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
…and “2018″.
July 19th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
S-M — As this bizarre-but-boring story continues, I’m trying to find reasons not to fall asleep. So, does Wolverine, as a mutant, have other interesting bodily modifications, perhaps involving his reproductive system?
July 19th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
# 167 Chatty — Thank you so much for asking about A3G. I have been going “huh??” to myself for at least the past two weeks. And if you ever do come up with a song to fit this ridiculous story, I shall genuflect.
And thank you, boojum, Sheila, and mollificent, for responding. My “huh” level is going down.
July 19th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
A few Sunday observations:
FW: a (weak) shout-out to PBS!
MT: BATS!!!! (and yes, white-nose syndrome is a current, serious problem…preach it, Jack Elrod!)
July 19th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
254. buckyswife re MT: I took “no human connection” to mean that (for once) this problem doesn’t appear to be caused by man, as it might be a result of chemical use, like DDT and eggshell-thinning.
258. buckyswife re MW: geez…is Laurence THAT MUCH OLDER than Delilah? And it’s not just the prematurely-grey hair, but the overall “appearance,” I guess. Looks more like a father/daughter photo portrait, maybe taken at the 2010 Santa Royale Chastity
BallFancy Evening Event with Dancing.Etc…
RMMD: this is very sad and upsetting to me. Where the hell is Rex?
GF: I love Bucky’s quick retorts. He sure knows his art.
July 19th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
#264 Dr. Weird – In the words of Tom Batiuk, “Writing must be earned”.
July 19th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Oh, yeah, Mary…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3735966869/sizes/o/
July 19th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
276 bats :[ Chin wattles! Ha!
I dont really believe Mary hasn’t planted a chip in Delinah’s hair band so she can monitor where all these “long walks” end up. Ol’ Mar may be a technophobe but she’s no fool-Delinah reeks of Aramis and Inglenook Chablis every time she come staggering home.
July 19th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
262 re 9CL, so, potential youtube reenactment ? ;-)
July 19th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Why does Sunday’s Family Circus have Thel dressed in a hotel maid’s uniform? Has her informal family role been made official, or is she just getting ready for a little kinky roleplaying with Bill? (The latter might be ascertained from the eager way his head whips around in Panel 4.)
July 19th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
7/19
A3G: I don’t know if anyone else has suggested this, but are they really doing the big goofy thing in this storyline? To wit, is Tim Dead? And is Eric going to spend the rest of his life playing the role of “Tim” while Nora never questions it? Lordy, Margaret Shulock is really going the distance to make sure the girls remain spinsters.
Garfield: Liz learns, if she didn’t already know, that Jon can embarass her even when his cat is nowhere near. Good thing he gives primo head, that’s all I can say.
GA: Slim is about to become acquainted with ShopMart’s enforcer, 300 pounds of hard muscle and psychopathic rage.
Ziggy: The bald man with a half dozen balloons standing by the Tunnel of Love? Yeah, if parents at the amusement park are steering their kids clear of anyone, he’s it.
July 19th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
275 Chyron HR -
“Writing must be earned?” Through pain and suffering, no doubt… The question is, his or ours?
I didn’t know it was 2020 in Funkyville, OH… shouldn’t cybered-up Solos and Rockerboys be fighting the corporations in the strip?
July 19th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
265 Poteet: Here’s the thing that pisses me off about Elrod’s occasional Sunday “conservation” strips: They usually follow the pattern of “oh, here’s an interesting critter/natural phenomenon; here are some fun facts to know and tell; and oh by the way it’s dying out completely but let’s not blame the humans and maybe someone will save it.” He’s supposed to be the Big Nature Comics Guy, but he can’t point the finger accurately, and he doesn’t get as worked up as I for one think he should.
So, yeah, as I said: Pisses. Me. Off.
But maybe you could tell from my rant…..
July 19th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
FOOB: My sister did this a LOT with Your Humble Narrator when I was visiting them up north. She’d step out for “just a minute”. A minute became five, then ten, then two hours…..it’s like this game with her now.
Slylock Fox: The strip doesn’t show it, but when Jamus and Cassandra were asked that question by Max Mouse, I said something like ” I know a game when someone moving backwards means Jamus wins, ” Then Tiffany and Melody tittered and giggled, I winked at them….damn, were they ever hot, then I grinned at Cassandra, who , I should point out, did NOT wink back, but rather….well, everything was kind of a blur, I woke up at home with a headache, sprawled out on the fire escape.
Judge Parker: All this means we’re not gonna see any cheerleaders, doesn’t it?
Mary Worth: Go sin with Charley, Delilah. Right now. Then come in all drunk, with that JBF look. That’ll teach her to mind her own business.
Spider-Man:” Is there room enough in New York for THREE super-beings?” Well…um….hell yes. I mean, that was kind of the idea with Marvel Comics to begin with, right? Plus, most DC’s are on the East Coast….oh, here I go again…
July 19th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
#282 buckyswife – I dunno, I think if Mark Trail did a lot of finger-pointing people would just tune it out (and besides, I doubt Jackelrod could really coherently express the issues, anyway.) Maybe it’s enough for it to just raise the question.
July 19th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
284 commodorejohn: I agree that raising the question is important—and that finger-pointing can alienate people. But by making them so “palatable,” he also makes it easy to dismiss them and to deny responsibility. After reading his descriptions, it’s easy to say, “well, humans aren’t really the problem here” or “this doesn’t affect me” or “someone else is taking care of this”—all attitudes that perhaps aren’t sufficient at this point.
But I must confess that this whole thing is a big personal issue with me right now and that I’m probably taking it all too seriously.
Either that, or my hormones are totally whacked out at the moment (equally likely). Or, more likely, both.
July 19th, 2009 at 11:06 pm
# 285 buckyswife — I’m an admitted fanatic (got home yesterday from a conservation conference), so I know what you mean. I am torn every Sunday between being grateful that there is a strip that deals with conservation at all, and a wish that the Elrodball would do more with the available space.
I think it would be possible to state the problems a little more clearly without ranting and raving. But I admit I couldn’t be a good objective judge at this point about what level of problem-stating would be appropriate and how much would, as commodorejohn pointed out, cause people to avoid the strip altogether. Anyway, I hope a few more people know about white-nose now.
As for hormones and mood swings, all I can say is I’m on the rollercoaster. And I was never that calm and sedate to begin with. The Elrodball doesn’t really cause me to go ballistic, but certain other cartoonists are lucky I can’t reach through the screen and grab them by their throats and choke them until…ooh, look! There’s a goldfinch outside the window! What a nice day!
July 20th, 2009 at 9:28 am
spike (268): Wally didn’t gain weight — that’s a suicide vest under his uniform. Let’s just hope his “Allah Akbar!” moment takes out as many of the dreary, doomed residents of Westview as possible.