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Mary Worth, 9/29/24

I’m going to remain neutral on some the big moral questions being raised by this storyline for the moment (Is it fair to fall in love with a passionate man then demand that he give up his passions to focus on you? Why, in a relatively small community that nevertheless can support a whole convention’s worth of veterinarians, is Ed somehow the only vet available for seemingly every emergency call? Does it make sense to put “a reunion dinner with a once beloved but subsequently estranged family member” and “a visit to the bakery to taste cake” in the same “wedding stuff you can skip” bucket?). Mostly, I want to say that chucking your engagement ring directly into your fiance’s chest at full speed and watching it bounce off is a very funny move, and I’m glad we got to see it in today’s strip.

Marvin, 9/29/24

There are all kinds of dubious things that I am willing to accept as part of the Marvin world-building, such as the fact that babies and dogs have adult-human-level cognition and ability to communicate, but neither has mastered the simple art of shitting in a toilet. However, seeing dogs just casually wandering around suburban neighborhoods unleashed immediately exceeds my ability to suspend disbelief. I realize that the idea of this has been ossified into comics lore but I refuse to believe that anyone actually involved in producing the comics in the futuristic year 2024 personally remembers a time when this was commonplace.

Six Chix, 9/29/24

I find the drawing of the plumber at bottom right interacting with a undersink cabinet that has been removed from its context (the sink) very funny. “Welp, let me see if the problem is from inside your Portal and–” [horrified screams as he is pulled into the ~v o i d~]

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/20/24

Oh no! In this rustic retelling of Jack and the Beanstalk, Jughaid traded Ol’ Bessie for a handful of beans. The beanstalks grew to the sky in the traditional manner, but there were no gold coins, eggs, or magic harps on offer up there. Deprived of essential amino acids from Bessie’s milk, the Smifs will now die, and Barney Google will at last reclaim his strip.

Hi and Lois, 9/20/24

Chip Flagston, like Alexander Bumstead, is an anti-Dustin, attracting pretty girls without the slightest effort. But in a strip with 1950’s-era family structure, work environment, social mores, and frankly jokes, how does anything here really qualify as “retro”?

Beetle Bailey, 9/20/24

In an vulnerable moment, Sgt. Orville Snorkle is at last ready to let the sun shine into the black pit of shame and anguish that drove him to a half century of verbal abuse, savage beatings, and arbitrary punishment of his subordinate. Beetle is having none of it: this may not be the life he chose, but it’s the one he’s got and he’s not going to change it now. “Things are just fine, Sarge, do you hear me? Fine!

Judge Parker, 9/20/24

Ronnie, you’re the sensible, grounded one, remember? And yet here you are confiding in Neddy Spencer about a self-centered emotionally needy person who is not Neddy Spencer? Sure, you can always talk to her, but God help you trying to get her to listen.

Marvin, 9/20/24

Marvin‘s Jeff Miller gamely steps into Ed Crankshaft’s role now that Ed’s strip is off fighting 1950’s-era censorship or something. Got to admire how deftly he blends Crankshaft‘s negligent arson into Marvin‘s central theme, filth.

Just a reminder that there’s no Comment of the Week on my watch, so 2+2=7’s comment will ride up there for another week or until the math checks out, whichever comes first.

—Uncle Lumpy

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Gil Thorp, 8/30/24

America yearns to know: What’s up with the beloved new character “Torch” in Gil Thorp? Have we figured out if “Torch” is his first name, or his nickname, or his last name, maybe? Well, we haven’t, as it happens, and some people are getting desperate to find out. Rodney Barnes, for instance, is trying to instigate a little on-field fracas, just to see if Gil hits the new kid with a “Mister” so we can find out his surname. Alas, however: Rodney miscalculated and ended up on the receiving end of a “Mister” himself! Ah, well, good try, son. We’ll get this figured out someday, don’t you worry.

Marvin, 8/30/24

“Jordan, you ready to swim in my pool?” “Is the water in the pool going to get befouled by your piss and shit?” “Yes.” “Pass.”