Archive: Marvin

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Marvin, 9/11/19

Sometimes, faithful readers, I have to take a good, hard look at myself and acknowledge that I’ve spent a decade and a half — more than half of my adult life — regularly getting angry online about how the popular widely syndicated comic strip Marvin just makes jokes about shitting, day after day after day, right in public where everyone sees it. Sometimes I feel like I do it too often and should save my righteous fury for days like today, which features a strip that’s not only about Marvin shitting but actually demands that we get into the weeds of the mechanics of the whole thing. Like, isn’t the whole deal with Marvin that he doesn’t care about getting his diaper changed? Wouldn’t he be more likely just to shit himself and the keep eating, having just made more room in his stomach, to the disgust of his fellow competitors and everyone around him? Anyway, damn you, Marvin, for making me contemplate this today, and also several times a week, forever.

Pluggers, 9/11/19

Pluggers at least has the courtesy to leave the digestive distress this plugger’s about to experience largely in the realm of the imagination. Will he endure a mere gurgle or two from chowing down on the long-expired canned food alone in his kitchen, or suffer the full-on runs? The details aren’t as important as the overall gist, which is that pluggers are cheap, lazy, and so depressed that they honestly don’t care whether they live or die.

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Marvin, 9/5/19

I’m not really a fan of the way Jeff and Guy Who I’m Reasonably Sure We’ve Never Seen Before But We’re Expected To Believe That He And Jeff Have This Long Backstory And Established Emotional Intimacy, And Also He’s Named “Bill,” I Guess, are looking at the viewer in the third panel, implicating us in their own retrograde view of masculinity. “It’s like, guys, am I right, people?” they’re thinking. “We’re incapable of feeding ourselves, and that’s why we’re dying of cardiovascular disease!”

Pluggers, 9/5/19

Pluggers know that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but more often it signifies the phallus, that potent symbol that proclaims and establishes male domination over society.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/15/19

Oh, whoops, I haven’t been keeping you up to date on the antics in Rex Morgan, M.D., for which I apologize! The antics are as follows: Rex decided to tag along with the Lewtons Miss Galexia’s live performance, partly to help his patient break free from his delusional beliefs, but mostly because it would give him an opportunity to be as smugly self-righteous as possible, which we all know is sweetest high Rex can experience. And whaddya know, he was able to recognize his daughter’s old art teacher under that fake beard! It’s a pretty impressive feat to remain smugly self-righteous when threatening someone with mafia violence, but Rex is a real pro at this.

Marvin, 8/15/19

You know, considering how many Marvin punchlines revolve around Marvin not being potty trained, this strip seems to forget surprisingly often that Marvin is a literal baby, who shouldn’t be left alone out in the yard and who definitely isn’t tall enough to be looking through that window.