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High rollers, big ballers

Gil Thorp, 12/7/05

Great God and saints in heaven above, if this strip were any whiter, it would belong to a country club and have a whole closet full of pastel golf shirts. Having the words “streetball” and “sweet passes” come out of the eager, post-orthodontia-perfect mouth of überhonkey Steve Luhm is just icing on the cake. (I also can’t read the latter phrase without hearing Napoleon Dynamite saying “sweet jumps.”)

I once knew a guy who had a haircut identical to Mr. Ithaca there; he was a 70-year-old French medieval history professor with a bad hip, and he wasn’t much of a baller. I also went to school in Ithaca, and trust me when I say it’s not really a streetball town. You can now buy t-shirts that spoof the city’s traditional “Ithaca Is Gorges” motto, reading instead “Ithaca Is Gangsta.” That might have thrown the good people at Gil Thorp off. Guys, I know it’s a little late for this but: trust me, they’re ironic.

In the category of Things I’m Going To Draw Your Attention To That You’re Going To Really, Really Wish I Hadn’t: check out the package on the black-sweatshirted dude on the left in the second panel! Them’s some tight sweatpants, and that ain’t right.

33 responses to “High rollers, big ballers”

  1. Dub Not Dubya
    December 8th, 2005 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    OMG, first! Also, I’ve maintained since early on that Steve Luhm is actually Austin Powers.

  2. Marc
    December 8th, 2005 at 10:00 pm [Reply]


  3. Non sequitur
    December 8th, 2005 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    Bernanke is a dove.

  4. Heynoni
    December 8th, 2005 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    Don’t know what it’s like in the US, but over here in Oz the whole hip-hop culture has infected our youth to cringeful levels. There’s nothing as pathetic as seeing a bunch of white pubescent 17 year olds with peachfluff chins getting around in baseball caps and low-riding cargo pants doing the whole “yo! mutha” attitood, looking all rebellious and misunderstood. And all the while you just know their mums (see: “moms”) are going to come and pick them up any minute and take them home where they’ll be told to wash up and clean their rooms before din-dins.

  5. Marc
    December 8th, 2005 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    Looks more like a camel toe on Mr. Black sweatshit, to me…

    There’s something very disturbing about several guys with their backs facing us, doing something that can’t be seen, and the next speech bubble is from one of them saying: “Front to back, one smooth motion. Like this.”

    Mr. Ithaca with your unintended sexual inuendo!

  6. Mark
    December 8th, 2005 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    Those guys are pretty clearly having a circle-jerk against the chain link fence. No biggie.

  7. kippetje2000
    December 8th, 2005 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    is this what the kids today mean by I like to watch? First panel GT has us viewing from over the shoulders of a third group who themselves are spying on the pratice. and where are the hands, folks? Is this an example of reach around basketball? Is that an offense on the street court? Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

  8. Marc
    December 8th, 2005 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

    Chain link fence=free make-shift vagina for those lonely, horny teens in GT. Only downside is possibly getting tetanus on your meat stick, but those kids will see it through!

  9. Doug Puthoff
    December 8th, 2005 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

    If this strip were really whitebread, Gil would be coaching a hockey team.

  10. Marc
    December 8th, 2005 at 11:24 pm [Reply]


    even whitter

  11. Dr. Laura
    December 8th, 2005 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of package: what is that hairy looking thing protruding from “Ithaca’s” left shorts leg??

  12. Heynoni
    December 9th, 2005 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    11: An equivocal image. It’s actually the ball he’s dribbling, but yeah it does look kind of sus at first glance.

  13. Steamboat Willie
    December 9th, 2005 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    Oh my, champagne observation Dr. Laura.

  14. Kaliflower
    December 9th, 2005 at 5:41 am [Reply]

    #11, with that observation, the phrase, ‘Front to back, one smooth motion,’ takes on a whole new meaning. That’s not ‘streetball’ lessons, Luhm…

  15. Frank Drackman
    December 9th, 2005 at 6:35 am [Reply]

    Those guys in the first panel look like theyre takin a group piss..Mr. Basketball in the 2d panel looks like hes givin ass wiping instructions..and the guy in the last panel…does anyone remember the strip “Dondi” ? thats his hair..

  16. Smitty Smedlap
    December 9th, 2005 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    First panel — “Ok, guys, line up for the glory hole!”

  17. Sourbelly
    December 9th, 2005 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    #15: Take it easy. I’m not supposed to laugh out loud at work.

  18. Kristen
    December 9th, 2005 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    Actually, they all have rather tight sweat-pants. I never really wanted to be able to check out the butt of a cartoon character but now…. I knew my first inclinations on that were right.

  19. Doug Puthoff
    December 9th, 2005 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    Nyahh, Mark. Jim Brown played lacrosse. He definitely wasn’t whitebread.

  20. Phil
    December 9th, 2005 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    I just got a huge kick out of “uberhonkey.” I’ll have to figure out how to work that one into a conversation.

  21. Len
    December 9th, 2005 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    Note to Josh: Don’t think about man-parts in tight sweatpants! Don’t think about man-parts in tight sweatpants!

    It’s enough to drive me to see “Breakback Mountain” with Huey’s grandpa!

  22. Micah
    December 9th, 2005 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    You are wrong about that Ithaca hoodie. You see, our basketball star beat-up some poor Ithaca College freshman who was home on Thanksgiving break. After a thorough pummeling, he took the shirt off the freshman’s back. It’s a trophy hoodie. Of course getting one from a Cornell student would have been even more desirable being an Ivy League school.

    I know because it used to happen to me all the time before I started employing isometrics.

  23. Archivalist
    December 9th, 2005 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    Anybody remember the Addams Family cartoons? Well, PackageBoy in panel 2 looks a lot like Puggsley Addams — pointy ears, short stature, and that up-to-no-good evil smirk too. Propps to Gil Thorpp!

  24. Mibbitmaker
    December 9th, 2005 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

    The unintended innuendo of “Sweet passes from this guy” is even worse with the black-shirted dude observation. Not that there’s anything wrong with i—— nah, I take that back; it IS wrong in (DT)GT!

    Btw, I really, really wish you hadn’t, Josh.

  25. Islamorada Girl
    December 9th, 2005 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    Something is bothering me even more than usual about DTGT.
    Does anyone ever graduate from M*llF*rd? Or is this really set in some kind of upstate reform school where everyone’s doing life?

    Or all they all dead and this is hell?

    Death to Gil Thorp! Death, I say!
    Queen Isla has declared fatwah on Gil Thorp!
    Thank you and drive safely.

  26. Charles
    December 9th, 2005 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    I know snarking perspective in Gil Thorp is sort of like sandblasting an animal cracker, but that’s one huge basketball that kid in panel 2 is holding. Is he supposed to be under 8 years old, or is that basketball supposed to be 19″ across?

  27. Dub Not Dubya
    December 10th, 2005 at 1:02 am [Reply]

    Isla, I’m down with you on the fatwah, but we do know that Von Haney (the young DJ who was not-dating the Cher lookalike with the abusive ex) did graduate and is at Yale now. Perhaps he is just the exception that proves the rule.

  28. VB
    December 10th, 2005 at 2:15 am [Reply]

    #21: Good to know someone else is following the Boondocks at the moment. Josh, I’m surprised you haven’t covered any of the current run of strips.

    And I thought of the Napoleon Dynamite thing too… they even look kind of alike!

  29. 'Anon'
    December 10th, 2005 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    I’ll bet that ‘überhonkey’ is going to be next year’s Oxford Dictionary Word of the Year.

  30. Pantsman
    December 10th, 2005 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    While the panel 2 package is highly disturbing, I’m becoming even further disturbed by various sweatpants issues in panel 1. The left two sweatpants seem to be wedged completely into the butt cracks of the wearers, (or are they not wearing any pants??) while the guy on the right appears to have a noticeable erection. Ick. I really grossed myself out. I need a shower.

  31. Frank Drackman
    December 10th, 2005 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    Wow I did some web surfing..and the guy who draws Aprt 3G has his own website..Hes only done 3G for a few yrs..but hes drawn different comic strips since the 50′s..he did draw some of the stories from “the twillight zone’ and ‘ripleys believe it or not ‘ comics from the 60′s and 70′s. And Yes I have NO life..

  32. Lolsworth
    December 23rd, 2007 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    Even the black guy in Gil Thorp looked white.

  33. buddy budshough
    December 5th, 2009 at 1:52 am [Reply]

    Hillarious! Reading through the postings makes one feel like a total Martian… try thinking you dunno who Gil Thorpe and his crowd are, let alone the Adams family.

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