Archive: Gil Thorp

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Slylock Fox, 1/21/17

These three scenes may look similar, but there’s one crucial difference. In numbers one and three, this snowman is merely a crude simulacrum of a man, the destruction of which is traumatizing not even to the children who fashioned it — even the birds and bunnies can tell this isn’t a real living thing. In number two, however, that’s a magic hat, which bestows the gift of sapience upon the wearer — but, crucially, does not fundamentally alter the snowman’s physical nature. The fully-formed mind called out of nonexistence by that enchanted haberdashery is now trapped, and silently screaming, in this unstable, dissolving shell.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/21/17

Haha, whoops, I had forgotten that Buck was the broker selling those smutty comic books Rex found under the floorboards in his attic. The characters in Judge Parker have experienced nothing but disaster and madness since longtime writer Woody Wilson handed over his strips to his successors, but in Rex Morgan, M.D., the Wilsonian tradition of the main characters occasionally being handed enormous checks due to no particular hard work or virtue on their part remains in full effect.

Gil Thorp, 1/21/17

Guys, have we considered that maybe he just kind of sucks? I think we should!

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Gil Thorp, 1/18/17

Ahahahaha, I fully predicted this dumb plot twist in Gil Thorp! This reminds me of the time I successfully predicted that Gil’s ex-girlfriend would go back to teaching high school as a reality-show stunt, or that the nerdlinger basketball student manager was giving one of the players placebo adderall. I’m not sure which explanation is more unsettling: that I have a strange, psychic connection to Gil Thorp, or that, despite the fact that the “twists” in the strip’s plots are hilariously transparent, I’ve still spent a significant portion of my adult life to parsing the details with the same attention that a yeshiva scholar would dedicate to the Talmud.

Mary Worth, 1/18/17

I also predicted that Iris and Dawn would encounter each other at this dance party, but failed to predict that Dawn’s outfit would get even more hilarious below the shoulders. Is that a … romper? Or an overall dress? An overall dress with giant buckles? The crucifix is a nice touch, too. Is this … goth? Is Dawn goth? Or did she get bitten by a radioactive Hot Topic or something?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/18/17

Well, well, well, it looks like the residents of Hootin’ Holler consider forcing animals to fight for their amusement to be shameful an’ illegal, but consider forcing them to race for their amusement to be A-OK? That’s an interesting moral distinction that’s … uh, shared by society at large, so never mind, carry on.

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Mary Worth, 1/14/17

OH SNAP GUYS THIS IS A METAPHOR! A metaphor for Iris’s current romantic dilemma, where she has to choose between Zak and Wilbur! It might not be obvious at first, but once you look at the details I think you’ll find it’s pretty clear:

  • Zak is a simple grad student without much money, so his activities with Iris will be limited to things like bowling and cheap concerts for local bands. Iris is satisfied by her sexual encounters with Zak so consistently that they’ve almost become routine.
  • Wilbur, meanwhile can afford the go-go world travelling lifestyle that only a lucrative syndicated newspaper columnist career can subsidize, voyaging to exotic Antarctica and Japan on a whim. However, due to Wilbur’s age and constant mayonnaise consumption, his heart could go at any time, meaning that any relationship with him could lack longevity. Zak, by contrast, is healthy and twenty years younger than Iris, and thus unlikely to predecease her.

It seems like a difficult choice! I don’t envy her!

Hi and Lois, 1/14/17

I really appreciate the amount of care that’s been put into the accoutrements of Thirsty’s sloth here. I’m particularly fond of the fact that there are two sock but only one shoe in evidence, that there’s a can of PBR on the floor and pint and shot glasses on the coffee table (no coasters, natch), and that there are multiple books strewn about, since just because you’re a slob doesn’t mean you’re a philistine. But the best for sure is Thirsty’s big smile as he naps on the Flagston’s couch. He hasn’t been this happy in years!

Gil Thorp, 1/14/17

“Aaron, your teammates overheard you talking about taking drugs. This is extremely serious.”

“But what if … I don’t offer you any explanation, and you wait until the end of the week when I reveal the truth in a dramatic fashion at the game against our biggest conference rival?”

“Enh, that’ll work.”

Marvin, 1/14/17

Ha ha! It’s funny because Jeff is happy to let Marvin stew in his own feces, as long as he doesn’t have to smell it!