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The key: Keeping their expectations low

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/14/06

I’m guessing that, on Valentine’s Day, a lot of my readers who like the ladies wish they were all domestic with June Morgan, N.P. And it’s not just because of her ample bosom, or unnaturally bendy physique. No, June is a dream girl because she’s so gosh-darn easy to please. I mean, this is a Valentine’s Day strip, and I don’t see any flowers, or candy, or any of the stuff that Cathy of Cathy has been obsessing about for weeks. But all Rex has to do is brush his nose against her cheek and offer up a little air kiss, and all of the sudden she’s so over the moon that she’s got a little heart floating over her head. If that’s his Valentine’s Day gesture, under what circumstances does he actually deign to touch her skin with his lips? Anniversaries in years divisible by ten?

49 responses to “The key: Keeping their expectations low”

  1. blueeyes
    February 15th, 2006 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    June and Sarah are going to clean each other’s closets? Their closets?? Isn’t that a euphamism for their, um, ya knows….? I think June and Sarah are both in the closet…

  2. michael
    February 15th, 2006 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    Blueeyes beat me to it. I had a po-mo take on it. I think they know they are being observed by us and therefore are speaking in euphemism:
    “My car won’t be ready until later this morning” = I should have chewed the Viagra instead of just swallowing it. I’ll need an hour or two for it to kick in.

    “No problem. Take mine. We’re staying home today” = Ain’t no thang. Do what I do and try to engage in some extended foreplay once in a while. We plan to get right at it and keep going until you are ready to join in.

    “Sarah and I are going to clean closets.” = For Valentine’s Day I am going to do that thing you said you wanted to watch but then tried to pretend you were just joking because it’s so very, very sick.

    “Have fun. We’ll pick up my car this afternoon. Gotta go.” = You two go at it. I will slip in later and try to be unnoticed and just watch a while. Then when you give the signal, I will jump right in.

  3. Howard Erk
    February 15th, 2006 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    Rex gave June the ultimate gift this year.

    Full Health Insurance.

  4. Uncle Lumpy
    February 15th, 2006 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    And if she does that thing he wanted to watch, she’s gonna need it.

  5. rich
    February 15th, 2006 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    What is Wilbur Weston doing in that last panel? “They threw out the lawsuit! I’m off the hook, Dawn! Now toss some sardines in my mouth and let’s celebrate in style!”

  6. Concerned Citizen
    February 15th, 2006 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    Maybe it’s not the kiss that has produced the Felix the Cat inspired object hovering overhead, but Sexy Rexy’s bizarre hand gesture promising an evening of sanitary delights. Sort of like a hanky code.

  7. Concerned Citizen
    February 15th, 2006 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    Whoa! I’ve not been following MW lately (striken by sanity, no doubt). Instead of the famous comb-over, why doesn’t Wilbur get one of those swell medieval hats that Dawn is wearing?

  8. Tommyp
    February 15th, 2006 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    Those are some seriously pouty lips. She doesn’t look like the collegen type, so they must be natural. Cripes!!! This girl could do some major league closet cleaning…

  9. RBF
    February 15th, 2006 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    My question is, WTF is Rex going anyway? I thought they worked together. Guess he and patch-eye’s wife are off in search of something… again…

  10. Anonymous
    February 15th, 2006 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    Rex would never go off with a married woman.

    He has his heart set on Lt. WilCOX

  11. yellojkt
    February 15th, 2006 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    And in (DT)GT we are about to get to tour a REAL women’s shelter. Any chance of running into Rita Begler?

  12. RBF
    February 15th, 2006 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    Good point yello – surely her long-lost cousin has kicked her and her creepy monster-doll-creations out by now. God knows he has no glass figurines left.

  13. Mountain Mama
    February 15th, 2006 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    11. And will we eventually see FBOFW’s April at that women’s shelter? If Pop buys that tiny house, she’ll be tossed out and truly “roadside.”

  14. Library Cat
    February 15th, 2006 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    #13

    No doubt. “April, I’m concerned about where you’re surfing on the Internet. Where you’re going to live……not so much.”

  15. Sassy_Rocks
    February 15th, 2006 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    Rich: You’re right, Wilbur Weston is waxing walrus with wide open mouth, barking for Dawn to toss him a herring. The real question now is how will Mary Worth make it her personal responsility to meddle her way into the empty life of workaholic’s ex? Mary Worth already knows that she’s a sucker for foolish advice, smells blood and see’s an opening… She’ll be all over workaholic’s ex like reporters on Scott McLellan after a Dick Cheney shooting.

  16. Tommyp
    February 15th, 2006 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    April will probably be living in one of Gord’s service bays pretty soon anyway. She’ll finally piss off her hormone-ravaged mom enough to collect an eviction notice. In a year or two, Gord’ll give her a deal on a crappy, rusted out van, and she can travel the continent following Ozzy and Megadeth.

  17. Irina
    February 15th, 2006 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    I’m trying to figure what Rex is doin here with his hands in the final panel. At first glance, I thought he might have been pointing to his wristwatch, making the “I gotta get going” tap, but his finger’s far too close to his fingers … so just what is it?

    Scratching that bothersome little back of the hand itch?

    Speaking in the Drasnian secret hand language?

    Leaning on his imaginary “Chorus Line” cane?

    Any help here?

  18. Tommyp
    February 15th, 2006 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    My paper does not run Rex Morgan, so I’m curious. Is this another strip where every statement, no matter how benign, is followed by an exclamation point?

  19. Sassy_Rocks
    February 15th, 2006 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    Yes! Rex Morgan is yet another strip where every statement, no matter how benign, is followed by an exclamation point! Mark Trail is like that , too! So is Judge Parker!

  20. Tommyp
    February 15th, 2006 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    Thank-You, Sassy!

  21. Schteve
    February 15th, 2006 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    It’s! more! fun! if! you! talk! like! this!

  22. Len
    February 15th, 2006 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    Rich commented elsewhere that he found it silly that two pre-teen boys (in Fox Trot) would have Cupid costumes at home, to torment their sister (or friend’s sister).

    Below is proof that Cupid costumes are to be found at every corner store and service outlet in Comicsland. The entire Cwockodile Fwaternity (Eata Eata Zebah) has decked themselves out in pink shorts, angel wings, and bows and quivers, for the purpose of tormenting neighbors, construction workers, and other passing pedestrians.

    http://news.yahoo.com/comics/pearlsbeforeswine;_ylt=AnH6PxTqBp49iFmuNH9cbJw0vTYC;_ylu=X3oDMTBiMW04NW9mBHNlYwMlJVRPUCUl

  23. Schteve
    February 15th, 2006 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    If only Peter Parker had found a Cupid costume for his latest adventure!

  24. Kathy
    February 15th, 2006 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    I know this is off topic, but, does anyone else find today’s Zits to be a little past the border on creepy? Specifically the ingestion of boiling tar soup in the third pannel:

    http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060215&name=Zits

  25. Sassy_Rocks
    February 15th, 2006 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    Kathy, I found Jeremy chugging the 5 gallon pot o’ swill rather entertaining but just think of the turd it will make. Now that is creepy.

  26. Schteve
    February 15th, 2006 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    John will never move into that tiny house with Ellie because he’ll be doing hard time in the Big House after the Mounties bust him for his questionable internet habits. That’s one advantage/disadvantage of living in Australia – I see FBOFW in the morning paper hours before it appears online and the strip for 16 Feb pretty much pans out as we expected.

    Exhibit A!

  27. Sassy_Rocks
    February 15th, 2006 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    What are the comics like down under, Schteve? Can you recommend any good Australian comics that we don’t get in the U.S.?

  28. Dub Not Dubya
    February 15th, 2006 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    Rich #5: I’m pretty sure Wilbur is rehearsing for his new role in “The Graduate.” Say it with me: “ELAINNNNNNE!”

  29. Marc
    February 15th, 2006 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    In today’s Mary Worth, I like how Wilbur’s phone is missing a complete row of buttons. Perhaps it is because he does not need to be reminded when he picks up the phone that he is a zero?

  30. Schteve
    February 15th, 2006 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    Ginger Meggs was a classic in its day but is pretty much bilge now.
    Snake Tales is good when the bare-breasted lady snake makes an appearance.
    The best comic strip ‘downunder’ was Footrot Flats from New Zealand though.

  31. Monkey David
    February 15th, 2006 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    Somebody may have posted this already, but it’s worth it just if only for the last line:
    http://www.nationalreview.com/issue/long200602150833.asp

  32. cjcasa
    February 15th, 2006 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    #31 — Wow, is that for real? I think I agree.

  33. Anne Nonymous
    February 15th, 2006 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    Monkey David- man, I wish I had a subscription so I could read the whole article. “Crush her to death under a boulder.” Of course, this whole satiric little piece is going to get the National Review office stoned, at the least, or burned to the ground.

  34. randomdude
    February 15th, 2006 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    Luann – will the Dirk saga (and I mean SAGA) ever be resolved? Do we care anymore?

  35. Natural Medicine (of Humor) Man
    February 15th, 2006 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    The thing I always wonder is, where is their child? Do they keep her doped up on good psychiatric drugs or something? She’s always “out of the way.”

  36. mooselet
    February 15th, 2006 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    #27: Beyond the Black Stump isn’t a bad comic from Down Under, either.

    In FBoFW, when addressing your offspring who refers to the other parent by their first name??? Isn’t it usually “Your mother and I” and not “Elly and I”? Would April somehow be confused otherwise?

  37. Mibbitmaker
    February 15th, 2006 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    In Zits, it’s actually Jeremy throwing up backwards.

    In the above RMMD, he’s really just very very clumsy. He was trying to make the sexual intercourse hand gesture but screwed it up; he bumped his nose on her cheek (that’s a heart instead of a cartoon pain star because she’s secretly into S&M – she has her outfit and gear in the closet!) accidentally.

    He’s so clumsy, in fact, that he should’ve been in the 2006 Olympics… or go quail hunting with Dick Cheney.

  38. Mibbitmaker
    February 15th, 2006 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    #36: …or did he forget she was their daughter altogether. Oh, well, that’s what happens when you’re a Foob kid who has no real-life counterpart.

  39. Len
    February 16th, 2006 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    So Jeremy in “Zits” is eating his Mom out of house and home. This sudden appetite surge could be a sign of the following:

    a. Jeremy will soon have a similar growth spurt to his friend (Hector? the Hispanic kid next-door)…

    b. Jeremy will begin bursting out of his clothes, with a fat gut that will rival Mark Trail’s hill-billy enemy…

    c. Prepare for the introduction of a new character, Timmy the Tapeworm.

  40. Len
    February 16th, 2006 at 2:32 am [Reply]

    Whew! For a moment there, I thought they’d give Hamhock a CUPID costume!

    Them squirrels are good eatin’! (Cupid is better southern fried.)

    http://www.ucomics.com/inkpen/2006/02/13/

  41. Occam
    February 16th, 2006 at 3:16 am [Reply]

    I see where “Safe Havens” has brought onomatopoeic to a new low: Menace! Menace! Menace!

    http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060216&name=Safe_Havens

  42. Mysterio
    February 16th, 2006 at 4:40 am [Reply]

    #40-Jeremy ALWAYS eats his parents out of house and home. “Boy howdy, do teenage boys eat alot” is a standard Zits joke, along with “Teenage boys sure are surly/uncommunicative, are they not?” (Fox Trot also gets milage out of BHDTBEA)

    And today (2/16) Mallard Fillmore goes after the anti-fur crowd. Boy, Bruce Tinsely is always on the cutting edge.

  43. Mysterio
    February 16th, 2006 at 4:40 am [Reply]

    That should be #39 regarding my “Zits” comment.

  44. Posthumous
    February 16th, 2006 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Fools! Can’t you see she’s planning something! ? But since this is two days old I guess it’s already happened. I’m only sorry I came along too late.

  45. MotoMike
    February 16th, 2006 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    Randomdude (34) : I think the short answer is “No”. The sad part is that Brad is stuck in this triangle where he should see the light of day and figure out that there are other females around in his town that don’t have a Dirk grafted to them. Too bad, unless the writer can think of some interesting twists. (Brad saves Toni’s life in a department store blaze, giving her a reason to show him her patented “Fireman’s Grip”?) (Dirk gets off the Zoloft and reverts to his usual Steven King-villain type of character – but injures Toni in his mayhem?)

  46. katya
    February 16th, 2006 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    Mooselet (36): Same thing (the FBOFW father referring to “Elly and I”) bothered me, too.

    And speaking of FBOFW, what are the “gross sites” online which April and I are father are discussing? I assume pornography, unless they’ve both been looking at one of my favorite sites, http://www.ratemypoo.com

  47. Adouble
    February 16th, 2006 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    “thank you for your time. We now return you to your regularly scheduled debates on class and gender.”

    Dangit Josh, I’m reading my afternoon dose of Salon, not laughing at you. That’s what I do in the mornings. Please keep your funny to your corner of the web — don’t just go spilling it about all willy-nilly.

  48. King Folderol
    February 16th, 2006 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    I’ve always drooled over June Morgan, but perhaps Rex is a himbo and June feels like he could do better than her.

  49. Cathy Viviano
    April 25th, 2007 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan and his lovely wife, June need to discuss about having another child. A brother/sister for Sara (or Sarah) would be nice.

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