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Friday quickies

Family Circus, 1/15/10

Yes, Dolly, a lot of cute pictures — which all appear to be thrown pell-mell into a cardboard box. You’d think that, what with her walls being a seemingly endless expanse of white, she might find room for a photo or two of your grotesquely swollen heads, or at least of your parents. But it looks as if she prefers emptiness, infinite emptiness, to any visual reminder that you exist. That little smile is her thinking about the moment you leave, when she’ll get to shove that box back under the bed and stop thinking about you for days and days.

Apartment 3-G, 1/15/10

Here in Baltimore, “The Block” is the name for the section of downtown where all the strip clubs are clustered together, so the narration box in panel one gave me brief hope that today’s strip would have content more interesting than tales of irritating wedding planning and not marrying guys named “Lyle.” I think matching redheads Tommie and Ruby could work up quite a little burlesque act together, slowly and suggestively unwinding their matching scarves until they finally reveal their necks to a hooting audience.

220 responses to “Friday quickies”

  1. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 15th, 2010 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    Cul de Sac: So I guess Dill’s saying that the supply room is actually located in Mary Worth?

    MT: Your lunch of sea-turtle soup, followed by giant panda in pastry, with an entree of mixed jungle-cat grill, and your dessert: bonobo bon bons. Enjoy, gentlemen!

    FC: Please let the other side of that box be marked “TRASH.”

    BB: General, given that the libations appear to be cleaning supplies and chemical-lab containers, I think you have more to worry about than gravel.

    SM: So Spidey just stands there and watches Sabrertooth get loose and then seals the deal by maneuvering himself into a corner? I don’t know why I continue to be startled by his idiocy, but I am. You’d think he’d at least have picked up a few moves from watching Jack Bauer on TV—or even repeats of Knight Rider.

    MW: Oh, Wilbur, your “rival”? That’s cute—but “rival” suggests some degree of equality between the two of you.

    I admit, though: the Moy & Giella Angry Faces frighten me a little.

    A3G: Wait—Ari was just about to become a character in The Burning Bed, and we switch to Ruby putting the kabosh on her potential plot? Focus, ADHD3G, focus!

  2. Baron Bizarre
    January 15th, 2010 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    A3G: Did Ruby’s bow explode between panels?

  3. Dan
    January 15th, 2010 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    @Baron Bizarre (#2) I think it flares away from her head to emphasize her point, like a frill-necked lizard.

  4. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
    January 15th, 2010 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    A3G: Ruby is one quick-change artist. In panel one, she had a Rosemarie bow on the side of her hair (lesbian subtext thoroughly hidden). In panel two, the bow has moved to the back of her head and become a huge swath of white pubic hair with her mouth and eyes forming a wrinkly vagina.

    MW: Man! Wilbur sure can get mad! Must be ‘cuz Abby ain’t wearing a hat.

  5. survivor
    January 15th, 2010 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    I love the look on Tommie’s face. One eye pointed to the right, one eye looking straight forward, and a desperate smile. I think she combs her hair to cover the lobotomy scar.

  6. Patrick
    January 15th, 2010 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    In the most interesting development in Apartment 3G‘s history, Ruby’s head has been replaced with a Kleenex dispenser!

  7. The good ship thetis
    January 15th, 2010 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    MT: Do suspiciously bushy eyebrows count as facial hair?
    GT: I think what we have here is a hostile takeover. In a few weeks, this comic will be renamed “Steve Luhm” and only a couple of old-timers will say, “remember that square-headed guy who used to be shown sitting on the team bus every now and then? How come they don’t draw him any more?”

  8. Greg
    January 15th, 2010 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    I haven’t really been keeping up with A3G lately, but all this talk about guys named Lyle has me wondering if a crossover shouldn’t be in the works.

  9. Terry in Silver Spring
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    MW: I have a prediction. Wilbur gets all attached to his new “son” only to find out that the young man’s father is really the rich snob’s son. Wilbur will be crushed and return to gorging himself on sandwiches while sitting in front of his computer and completely ignoring his daughter.

  10. TheDiva
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    C’shaft: Yeah, who would have thunk that there wouldn’t be a single football game on at 2:30 in the middle of the week?

    FW: Wow, and here I thought it wasn’t humanly possible to make Funky more sad and pathetic…

    Luann: No, his first mistake is the passive-aggressive “Nice Guy” shit you pull every time an opportunity to ask Luann out presents itself. The second mistake is that shirt.

    Marvin: Does Marvin really need advice on how to be a loathsome hellspawn?

    MW: “And all because I wanted to control who she spent her time with, keep her locked in the house and make her wear a chastity belt to ensure her fidelity. I still don’t know what went wrong.”

    Pluggers: If you count the weight he put on while sitting on his duff eating bologna sandwiches and drinking beer all day, that’s actually the truth.

  11. The Big Swerve
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    FC: She has a big box full of actual photographs of a children seven years old and younger? Pictures taken mostly by the kids’ parents? The Big Swerve wants to know what kind of parents in 2009 have been using a film camera for the past seven years?

  12. commodorejohn
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Just “having fun” together, eh? Well, at least someone is willing to admit to the transitory nature of relationships in this strip. Do you think Lyle will get killed? Or will he be revealed as some sort of criminal? Or will he, perhaps, just disappear?

    AS – Note to Scott Hilburn: while having an actual bear in place of a bearskin rug has pretty good potential as an element of a joke, it does not really serve as a joke in and of itself.

    BB – General Halftrack is willing to let slide on a lot of things, but by God you better not screw up his booze.

    FW – So the people in the Winkerverse actually acknowledge the existence of Enterprise? That fits. Actually, it’s probably the only Star Trek they have.

    JP – Toronto? Oh no…this can only mean that Joe answers to that most horrifying of underworld forces – the Butter Tart!

    Luann – Toni’s right. Gunther is way beyond dorky. He’s even beyond “the kind of nerd other nerds avoid.” Gunther is some sort of unique concentration of every negative part of every nerd stereotype ever held by anybody, with an added dash of serial-killer vibes for flavor.

    MT – William Jennings Bryan, no!

    Marmaduke – What.

    MW – Wilbur, it really should have been obvious that if she’d sleep with you, she’d sleep with anybody.

    MC – As pregnant badasses go, she’s not up to Kazumi Kato standards, but still, she looks pretty damn imposing.

    Peanuts – Aww.

    Phantom – Come on, Captain Sea Goddess!

    RMMD – So June hates Brook because her mother stole some stuff. Charming.

    SF – Really, Sally, should anything Ted does surprise you anymore?

    SM – The proportional bantering ability of a spider, ladies and gentlemen.

    Ziggy – Thank you, Tom Wilson, for proving that Wilbur isn’t the worst person to be picturing in DNA-related activities.

  13. Three-nineteen
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    Last night on Modern Family, Phil got an e-mail with a picture of a topless woman in it. The co-worker who forwarded the picture? Gil Thorpe.

  14. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Oh, you don’t suppose… Has the name of Bobbie’s husband ever come up? If he’s Ruby’s stud Lyle, I think we could be in for an epic cougar fight.

    H&L: Dolly and Ditto had a running side bet on whether Chip was gay. Hey Ditto, there’s still hope this date could go badly.

    MT: This story is starting off pretty good. Elrod busts out his best drawing of Ed Asner (i.e., vaguely recognizable as the same species) to portray a Senator so practiced at deception that he can actually say he read’s Mark’s articles with a straight face.

    MW: “And I said, ‘Listen Abby, you can be with other guys or you can be with me.’ And she said, ‘Really? I can?’ That was the last I ever saw of her.”

    SSmith: You might want to start working after all, Snuffster. Doc is just waiting for you to pass out so he can take your kidney. Better for you if he has to get past the wife.

    S4th: I had the same question as Sally. On reflection, I think Ted dropped that reference to prove that he was not, in fact, an impostor.

    GA: Ah, Mussolini’s, Montoni’s, what’s the dif?

    Archie: Credit where credit is due. The creators were trying for weird here, and they achieved it. I won’t ask how Archie’s aim got that good.

    OBH: A brief dramatization of Conan O’Brien’s reign on The Tonight Show.

    DtM: “Oh by the way, I used your gold card to order a dozen pizzas. Some people at a website were bitching that I never do anything menacing.”

    GT: Suddenly William H Macy rises and gives the black power salute, because that makes as much sense as anything else happening on the court.

    Phantom: “Ah, nice inset memory I have of her. But who are those two kids with her? Eh, couldn’t be anyone important.”

    Marvin: My hope here is that Marvin will drop the wrong N-bomb and get a well-deserved ass kicking from the babies in Jump Start.

  15. Josharella
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy: I, for one, am utterly horrified at the prospect of the government needing Ziggy’s DNA. What if they clone him? Can we really stand the prospect of living in a world with two Ziggys? TWO ZIGGYS.

  16. Krankenstein
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    Darn it, just missed the opening of a new post. Reposting from the previous thread:

    FW: Somehow, it seems appropriate that an obscure, miserable comic that is nothing but hackwork on the part of it’s creator should refer to a miserable episode of an obscure, hackwork television series. Maybe that’s all that’s on TV in the Winkerverse.

  17. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    FW — Trellium D? The stuff that makes Vulcans sick? This explains so much — Lisa was a Vulcan!

  18. Baron Bizarre
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @Dan (#3):

    Awesome.

  19. Buck Ripsnort
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    FC:”Gramma, the Catch A Predator team will be here any minute, so take a seat, just take a seat.”

    A3G: Can anyone think of a Lyle other than Mr. Wagonner, from Carol Burnett and Wonder Woman?

  20. BowToTheBard
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    I’m guessing The Block is also where they filmed a-ha’s “Take On Me” music video.

  21. Og the Green Phelb
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    @Josharella (#15): Two Ziggys are preferable. If there were two then Tom Wilson would have a spare and not wear out one Ziggy. Then we would have the prospect of fresher material.

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#17): Do Vulcans get cancer? Inquiring mind wants to know.

  22. Baron Bizarre
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    @The Big Swerve (#11):

    Mark and Cherry Trail, if memory serves.

  23. LP2004
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#19): Lyle Lovett and Lyle Mays immediately come to mind. My mind, at least…

  24. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @Og the Green Phelb (#21): No, but they apparently get addicted to the stuff (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impulse_%28Enterprise_episode%29, which I can’t believe I took the time to look up)… which means that Funky is really the Vulcan!

  25. Og the Green Phelb
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    Yes, of course. And we all know that addiction leads to cancer. It does say that Trellium-D damages the brain. This could be the reason Lisa remained married to Les.

  26. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @LP2004 (#23): re A3G a Ruby/Lyle Lovett marriage would be cool is so many, very wierd, ways.

  27. Calico
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    @Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#4):
    “Whew, for a second I thought I wasn’t going to get any from you tonight, seeing that all the guys I’ve dated are either dorks or crazy.”
    Luann – boyfriend=dead
    Margo – boyfriend=same
    Tommie – boyfriend=crazy doctor, or wet rag
    Apt. 3G Lesbo style=why not?!

  28. Calico
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    Ha, I thought of that a bit too…wasn’t Julia Roberts married to him for a while?
    (I believe she said she once had-yes, kidz-a crush on Abe Lincoln when she was a kid, and it must’ve transferred onto Lyle, who kinda looks like the Honest One.)

  29. Calico
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#1):
    BB-U – here’s one for you and Mr. Trail – Squirrel pie! Really!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4KVXkdJqeQ&feature=related
    (I would not try a squirrel unless starving, but my Mom said her Dad and Uncle used to go the Eastern shore in MD and shoot ‘em, then bring them home, and Mom also said they smelled awful while cooking in the frypan.)
    Notice, though, how Marco makes Mr. Ishi try the damn stuff…

  30. Poteet
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    A3G — I’ve always been fascinated by the cheekbone lines in A3G, but have tried to shut up about them for the past few months. I just have to say, however, that recently they seem to be breaking up and multiplying so that little baby lines are appearing more often under eyes, next to noses, etc. Bobbie and Ruby are particularly interesting in this regard. In fact, I’d say *mmmph!* *mmmph!*

  31. tb4000
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    Luann: How Bradley is fighting the urge to kick the shit out of Gunther is beyond me.

  32. Anal, Annoying Minor Goddess of Pedantry
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    Please pardon that pointless cheekbone-line ramble at # 30. Poteet has been taken offline for a little while until she calms down.

  33. Black Drazon
    January 15th, 2010 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    Oh no, it’s one of those days, where if I look directly into Family Circus I’ll be hypnotized trying to work out exactly how it’s supposed to be funny even to its intended audience (Pluggers). Ha-ha, we sure do take a lot of pictures of our grandchildren, and have no idea how to use a digital camera? Yeah, let’s go with that and get the hell out of here.

  34. mollificent
    January 15th, 2010 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#14): Oh. My. Gawd. That would truly be the most awesome plot development EVAH.

    BF: Awwww. Maybe there’s hope for this strip to escape the FOOB curse.

    Curtis: You know, I used to feel sorry for Chutney. But now I’ve come to face it…she’s a friggin’ masochist. You’re on your own, kid.

    GT: My God, he IS doing the “Single Ladies” dance! “Glee”, what hast thou wrought??

    MW: Aaaand…the lightbulb goes on in Kurt’s head. “What the hell am I doing here? Daddy Warbucks, here I come!”

    Phantom: It’s worse than I thought…he has to RESCUE her? Oh, this can’t end well at all.

    Ziggy: Um, so they’re handing out random DNA samples in “Ziggy” but apparently they haven’t been discovered in Charterstone Country. Hmm.

  35. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
    January 15th, 2010 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

  36. Mibbitmaker
    January 15th, 2010 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Uh…… down, Brooke, down….
    And stop taking Howdy Doody’s name in vain!

    OBH: And that’s how Jay Leno got the Tonight Show the first time, too.

    MG&G: That, or he’s covered with teeny tiny little NBC executives (are there any other kind?)

    A3G: “GOT IT? GOOD!! …WANNA GET A BITE TO EAT?!?”

    BBailey: Even Ernie Pantusso and Woody Boyd were smarter than that!

    DtM: Oh, they’re just trying to get me to type “Ruff the Menace”! — D’OH!

    FW: Of course, in Nerdville, there can’t be a reference to “My Name is Earl”! (damn NBC!)

    GT: As opposed to their reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally sloooooooooooooooooooow whistles.

    MW: They had one cupboard just for their Moy & Giella 1-15, huh? Wow.

    Phantom: For the pirates…. or YOU, Kit?

    FC: Photoshop?

  37. Edgy DC
    January 15th, 2010 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    Tommie, do you enjoy hearing your maiden aunt tell you how she and her beau are “just having fun”? ‘Cuz I don’t.

    You can use that sort of frankness with Lu Ann, Ruby, because, well, she’s incapeable of interpreting euphemisms, but have some pity on Tommie, wouldya?

  38. Écureuil Écumant
    January 15th, 2010 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Spidey’s webjism having failed him miserably, he reaches slowly, slowly for the garbage can, hoping to find a loaded double-barreled antique dueling pistol perched right atop the trash. Sorry, Spidey, that never happens to the good guys.

    RM: Instead of all this angst, June — why not just do like the afternoon TV ads suggest and call Sam Driver, Probate Barracuda? He’s got a nice quarter-page with photo in the Yellow Pages.

  39. DeGroot of All Evil
    January 15th, 2010 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    I like that Crankshaft has never watched anything but football on television. During the off season he’d rather stand out in the garden, beset by poisonous snakes, than watch television that isn’t football.

  40. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
    January 15th, 2010 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#142): courtesy of TV Tropes, there’s also “Little Black Dress” because she goes with anything.

    MC: there can be only one!

    PBS: o this could be fun. and this.

    RwO: surreal!

    Frazz: win. I also wonder where the Torelli Deli is. a google doesn’t seem to turn up anything for Michigan by that name.

    SB: why I plan on never being genetically successful.

    CdS: metatastic win.

  41. Anal, Annoying Minor Goddess of Pedantry
    January 15th, 2010 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    PLUGGERS — Pluggers don’t need to leave room in their teeny-weeny boats for life jackets, because their grotesque bodies always float.

    9CL — I’ve helped my mother through four surgeries, and when we’re in the hospital together, we don’t while away the happy hours with colorful tales of her youth. We try to keep her comfortable, we make small talk, and we really, really look forward to getting the hell out of there. Maybe Gran has a better medical problem.

  42. Poteet
    January 15th, 2010 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @Anal, Annoying Minor Goddess of Pedantry (#41):

    Poteet: Hahaha, that’ll teach you to preview!

    Anal: Shut up.

  43. Poteet
    January 15th, 2010 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    PBS — Win, win, win.

  44. Écureuil Écumant
    January 15th, 2010 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Unfortunately, there being no Boesy handy, he had to bend her over the hood of a jeep. Fortunately, a Mosquito pilot was able to record the episode on his gun camera, although he had to fire his guns to activate it. Unfortunately, he missed.

  45. ElkMeadow
    January 15th, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    MW, actually, Wilbur, the argument was about the kitchen, how you wanted her to make you some white bread and mayo with turkey, and she was telling you how fed up she was being cornered in a bland urban dinger apartment that has the most boring kitchen. Like the one you live in now. But you didn’t listen. And now you’re dragging in some dude who knows how to make connections as the reason for your break-up?

    Or is this a rip-off of Snape and Lily, with James Potter being played by someone we haven’t seen in the strip, because those thugs we saw yesterday weren’t college students. Town boys, maybe? Angry at the college dweeb for taking the time and attention of their class sweetheart?

  46. Pozzo
    January 15th, 2010 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    To me, Grandma’s wistful smile means she’s imagining how those pictures would look on the sides of milk cartons.

  47. DAS
    January 15th, 2010 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    MW — I’ve not seen today’s strip. Is it too late or is there still hope that this story-line will get interesting (i.e. beyond the usual that Wilber’s son turns out to be a con-artist and then MW gets to meddle)? I.e. is there hope that the rich kid is Dr. Corey or that the reason Dawn is so troubled by the appearance of her half-brother is that she slept with him not knowing she was related to him?

  48. Miss Othmar
    January 15th, 2010 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @DAS (#47): Either of those would be awesome!!!

  49. Roger
    January 15th, 2010 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    Grandma is not allowed to hang any personal pictures on the walls of the cheap old folks’ home into which she’s been dumped. The orderlies have yet to discover her cache of photographs hidden in a box of adult diapers, which is good, since the labeled pictures (“DOLLY, YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER”) is the only thing standing between her Alzheimer’s-ravaged brain and complete crushing loneliness.

  50. bats :[
    January 15th, 2010 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando (#35): whew! I had a sqeeeeeeeee! moment (two, actually) for a little bit there.

    I looked at FC and thought it was too easy. But hey, all is comfort and ease…

  51. Lolsworth
    January 15th, 2010 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    “Why yes, Dolly, I certainly do have several photographs of my family, as evidenced by the large pile of them surrounding me upon this bed. What an accurate observation. Could you give your father a message? Tell him that even though it’s the Golden Anniversary year, he still has to actually tell a joke, not a flat statement of fact. It might not be any funnier, but at least it would look like he gives a shit.”

  52. Joe Blevins
    January 15th, 2010 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    A3G: “Oh, thank God you’re just having wholesome, meaningless, NSA sex. For a second there, I thought you were sullying yourself with filthy, filthy matrimony.” Meanwhile, this strip seems to be a reverse Pleasantville scenario in which you become more colorful as you become less interesting.

    FC: I’ll say this for Grandma: great set of gams.

  53. Kibo
    January 15th, 2010 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    The reason Grandma has that box out is that she’s sorting the pictures to decide which ones to burn for warmth.

  54. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
    January 15th, 2010 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#50): the fennec pic was my moment of squee. :-) day so kyoot!

  55. Baka Gaijin
    January 15th, 2010 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: I’m waiting for Margo to arrive home, take the milk out of the fridge, and see LuAnn’s picture on the side. That chick is seriously lost!

  56. Og the Green Phelb
    January 15th, 2010 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#38): Rex Morgan and Judge Parker take place in the same town? Fascinating.

  57. H-Bob
    January 15th, 2010 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#12): Thanks for the chart but it needs a new box for the “Avatar” nerds (can we dub them “Avaturds” ?).

  58. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 15th, 2010 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#29): Those seemed like mighty big guns for such small squirrels!

    @Joe Blevins (#52): NSA sex? That took me a minute to figure out; at first I thought that Ruby had some kind of deep cover going on for a government agency.

    Now that I’ve been thoroughly immersed in Squee from Queek, it’s time for a nap!

  59. Muffaroo
    January 15th, 2010 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    Beetle – “It’s a bucket of gravel… in case you want somebody smarter than me to talk to.”

    Family – I never thought I’d notice when Fred Basset started seeping into this strip, but it turns out you can actually tell the difference.

    Barfield – Spoke too soon, but ended the strip just in time.

    Gil – Penalty on the ref! Hanging from the panel border. Free throw to the other ref.

    Mary – I’m waiting to see if Kurt is still alive. Looks like he might have willed his heart to stop beating during that touching story.

    Rose – They say “Sweets to the sweet.” And, since these are the Gumbos we’re talking about, two boots full of nuts seems about right.

    Id – “Rock through window? Call 555-…

  60. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 15th, 2010 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    From Pastis’s blog—the song titles are the best part.

  61. Muffaroo
    January 15th, 2010 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    @yaoi huntress earth (#y130): Ah, but Nazi Boy is one of those reluctant Nazis! “I didn’t want to liquidate the Jews, but they threatened to revoke my Party membership!” Except since he’s a good singer who performs Mahler songs, it’ll probably turn out that he’s been working for the Resistance all along, and is (as you say) trying to get secrets from Young Granny Sue. Nonetheless, this is still the best storyline I’ve seen in this title during the time I’ve been reading it. From what I’ve been told, it’s not as good as the strip’s glory days.

    @Mela (#y171): To you, the soaps are dying an overdue death. From where I sit, it just looks like they’ve metastasized to the rest of television. (Not all of it, of course. I stand by my statement from years ago that TV is a vast wonderland, and there aren’t enough hours in the day to watch even just the good stuff.)

    ps: Actually, knowing as much history as you do, or even half as much, puts you out on one end of the bell curve. Sadly, the majority of kids in school seem to be somewhere near as ignorant as Walt says they are.

  62. bats :[
    January 15th, 2010 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

  63. Muffaroo
    January 15th, 2010 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    @Lucky (#y175): Yes, but why would anybody want a sample of Ziggy’s DNA?
    Maybe to develop an antidote?

    @One-eyed Wolfdog (#y181): Here’s a pretty good door-to-door salesman for you! (Seriously, kids, click the link for some ace piano playing and seriously warped lyrics: “Oh, what a wife that man would make if he could only cook!” indeed.)

    ps: While you’re at it, try She’s Gonna Get Her a Robot Man from the same guy.

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#1): Hey, remember the Monty Python sketch that starts with an old lady describing and handing photos to Carol Cleveland, who tears each one in two as she gets it?

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando (#35): I got to pet a baby fennec once, at a fall festival. I recognized it as a fennec at once because I’d read “Mischief in Fez” years ago. By coincidence, I just finished reading it again, out loud, to my daughter at bedtime over the course of eight nights or so. (And in fact, I went online and bought a used copy of the Collier’s Children’s Classic volume “Magic in the Air” just for that story.)

    @Mibbitmaker (#36): “Howdy”‘s only in there so she can say “Holy Doody!”

  64. Aviatrix
    January 15th, 2010 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @Mela (Y171): Fishing: it provides the illusion of being engaged in a gainful, manly activity while requiring almost no physical effort, and leaving the participants completely free to drink beer and talk about personal issues without meeting each other’s eyes. Take away the fishing poles and what’s left is a tender story by Dingo.

    @Lucky (Y175): They look alike because Sheriff McSideburns is the Senator’s brother. Or maybe second cousin. Or maybe both.

    @Tom (Y179): There’s my laugh of the day: you pretending the momentary physical appearance of someone in MW bears any relation to how the person will look the next day, let alone to the appearance of their offspring.

    @Écureuil Écumant (Y183): That introduces a completely new angle to the story. If Wilbur knows Abby died without issue, is he staying close to Kurt to find out the kid’s angle?

    @Gary (Y193): As in “the nasty”? I thought we were pretty much agreed Wilbur had never done that.

  65. Calico
    January 15th, 2010 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#58):
    I guess Hootin’ Holler ain’t got nothin’ compared to that! Yee Haw!

    And EE – my apologies if I have offended you and your kin with my YouTube postie.
    When I lived in VT, for about a year I had a family of squirrels (5, I think) that lived across the street, but would individually come and scratch on my metal screen door or hang on to the screen and make noise when they wanted food.
    : )

  66. Tim Cavanaugh
    January 15th, 2010 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    Time for a Family Circus retcon. At the way outside, Billy is the only kid old enough to be preserved in photographs.

  67. Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball
    January 15th, 2010 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Ruby also has a pair of interesting earrings dangling from her ears. She must have also just paid a visit to the caterer: she wearing a nice pair of cocktail frankfurters.

  68. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 15th, 2010 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    9CL — just thought of this… The Lt. claims to have been conscripted. I’ve never heard of an officer being drafted before.

  69. Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball
    January 15th, 2010 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    A3G: she’s, she’s. My Bronx edication showing again.

  70. trey le parc
    January 15th, 2010 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I’m starting to appreciate Luann– the character, not the strip. Luann has recently developed the sense to avoid her own comic strip, showing up only to heckle the losers who’ve been pressed into service in her stead. Good move, toots.

  71. Fashion Police
    January 15th, 2010 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    Miss Thompson looks especially perky today. Dowdy, but perky.

  72. teddytoad
    January 15th, 2010 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    “…slowly and suggestively unwinding their scarves until they reveal” themselves to be Jude Law and Sen. Joe McCarthy in red wigs.

  73. Sister Sestina
    January 15th, 2010 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Has prolonged exposure to bridal boutiques caused Ruby’s hair to spontaneously generate bunches of wedding-veil tulle, or is the stuffing in her head finally leaking out?

    MW: Maybe another kind of fishing’s occurring. Trail a lure of an alternate — and far richer — potential “dad” in front of the possible grifter. If he takes the bait and leaves to pursue McSpectacles, then one can go back to sandwich-chomping in peace.

  74. McManx
    January 15th, 2010 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    FC — I’m not sure if this is Grandma’s beehive hair-do, if her head is exploding into a mini mushroom cloud, or if her brains are turning into cauliflower. This is Family Circus, though. Cauliflower it is.

    Phantom — In the panel two inset, Captain Savarna looks alot like Diana Walker, except she appears to have four nipples.

    Luann — Toni and Brad seem to have slipped in to a reality where they are the only 3D figures in a cut-out world.

  75. gnome de blog
    January 15th, 2010 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#19): Lyle Alzado, NFL defensive lineman famous for bouts of ‘roid rage.

  76. Écureuil Écumant
    January 15th, 2010 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @65 Calico said:

    And EE – my apologies if I have offended you and your kin with my YouTube postie.

    No harm, no foul. Eating squirrel carries its own, shall we say, karma (especially in the case of squirrel pizza). Those who partake are afflicted with a slow CNS virus similar to kuru, which renders them moronic and also gives them a sparkling set of squirrel incisors, like these.

  77. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
    January 15th, 2010 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    I grew up eating game fairly often. Squirrel is a lot like rabbit, only smaller. Usually browned then braised in a dutch oven. ‘taint no big thing.

  78. Sister Sestina
    January 15th, 2010 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @McManx (#74):
    Our Friday quickies today are actually textbook diagrams of “follicular popcornification”, which occurs when thoughts and sentiments have been so corny for so long that the kernels start popping. We see the onset occurring to Ruby; Grandma Circle’s do is the full Jiffy-Pop endstage.

  79. Mollificent at work
    January 15th, 2010 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#60): OMG. Don’t let Dingo see that. “A Big Hunk O’Pastis” might just cause him to keel over! :)

  80. Mollificent at work
    January 15th, 2010 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#62): Words cannot express how I treasure you, bats :[ :)

  81. Ribinin
    January 15th, 2010 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    </pause snark> @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#68): In WWII, well connected people became officers. Everybody was conscripted pretty much. This happened on both sides, you could buy your way into being an officer if you weren’t too blatant. <resume snark>

  82. Hank
    January 15th, 2010 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    @Tim Cavanaugh (#66) Re: Family Circus: In defense of the Family Circus, a lot of people, especially senior citizens, still print out pictures taken with a digital camera, using the kiosks at the local drug store, Wal-Mart, etc. I wouldn’t be surprised is some of them end up a shoe box for storage.

  83. Bryan
    January 15th, 2010 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    @Hank (#82): …a lot of people, especially senior citizens, still print out pictures taken with a digital camera, using the kiosks at the local drug store…

    I don’t have a decent printer so when I want to print a picture (as a gift, perhaps) I also use the kiosk at the pharmacy.

  84. Steve S
    January 15th, 2010 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    Grandma’s just smiling because she finally set off that miniature nuke in her brain. At least I assume that’s what’s going on on top of her head.

  85. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
    January 15th, 2010 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @Mollificent at work (#79): Alas, Pastis has drawn himself with a cigarette dangling from his mouth. The only thing that should dangle in front of his mouth is my sweet, briny manhood. I’m a virulent nonsmoker.

  86. bats :[
    January 15th, 2010 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#85): consider it a poor, poor replacement for something much superior…

  87. Poteet
    January 15th, 2010 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    A3G — I don’t see the point of wearing a heavy neck scarf if you aren’t going to wear a hat. A hat protects something like a quarter of your body heat, whereas a neck scarf doesn’t do much. Theoretically, a neck scarf could be worn just as an attractive fashion statement. But in this case, Ruby’s making her statement with her, um, bows. And Bobbie never makes fashion statements, just vague mutterings. Her blue coat and green scarf look like something a MARK TRAIL duck would wear.

  88. Wally Ballou
    January 15th, 2010 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    Frazz: Has it come to this? Today’s kids are so spoiled rotten that they actually have to get fancy store-bought tongues to pole-freeze instead of using their own?

  89. Og the Green Phelb
    January 15th, 2010 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    @Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#85): From bios of Stephen Pastis I have seen, he does not smoke. He drew his character smoking for no apparent reason. However, I understand you may want to be careful of the snaggletooth.

  90. Baka Gaijin
    January 15th, 2010 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#42): Poteet, dear, when Dr. Papapillpusher gets back from the bathroom, please ask him for a referral to an expert in multiple personalities. That is, when you can remove your gaze from the “most beautiful radiators.”

  91. Baka Gaijin
    January 15th, 2010 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: I totally missed Ruby’s Kleenex dispenser head until it was pointed out here. It was always there and now it always will be. It was just like looking at the 2012 Olympic logo and not seeing Lisa Simpson in a compromising position until someone pointed it out.

  92. nightcrawler666
    January 15th, 2010 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    @Baron Bizarre (#2):
    Exactly, it is some mutant bow that continues to expand until it consumes the universe.

    Also anyone who wears bows like and dresses like that is not someone who should be planning weddings, unless she specializes in $100 or less nuptuals.

  93. Ed Dravecky
    January 15th, 2010 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    FW: Confession time: I’m a hardcore Star Trek geek with autographs, action figures, a complete set of the Hallmark ornaments, and even hold the “rank” of Commander in Starfleet International. That said, nobody I know quotes Enterprise. Nobody. (And you should have coated the outside of the store, you fool!)

    Garfield: Based on how fast they got sick, Garfield’s enemy is obviously Montoni’s Pizza. Oh hell, now Odie has tongue cancer.

  94. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
    January 15th, 2010 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    if you thought the first fennec was kyoot, check out the bebeh versions!

  95. Poteet
    January 15th, 2010 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#90): Don’t worry, I’ve got Anal under control. She pops up a lot less often than she used to, since I started using these really great little pink pills recommended by Cherry Trail. I feel so calm now…so very calm…

  96. gnome de blog
    January 15th, 2010 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail has always strained credibility, but a state senator buying lunch defies the founding principles of Western Civilization.

  97. Écureuil Écumant
    January 15th, 2010 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    @94 queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando said:

    if you thought the first fennec was kyoot, check out the bebeh versions!

    That’s quite a difference. Do their ears grow as fast as bamboo shoots? Because they kinda look like bamboo shoots.

  98. mr 12 oz can
    January 15th, 2010 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    mark trail – so whos the bigger celebrity mark or the senator of unknown state . if the senator pays for your mail mark dont ask for the receit to fudge your expense account .
    mary worth- i think they were having a fight over who made the salad ? of course it was seven seas the salad maker
    gil thorp- it says in the third panal there ready to play there first game so what was bulky brock reed and the other mudlarks doing last week exibition game in china
    scary gary – was good as ususal

  99. Poteet
    January 15th, 2010 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando (#94): Wow. The bebeh fennec looks like bait designed by aliens to lure unsuspecting susceptible humans into peril. Must..touch…cute…bebeh…

  100. Écureuil Écumant
    January 15th, 2010 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    @96 gnome de blog said:

    Mark Trail has always strained credibility, but a state senator buying lunch defies the founding principles of Western Civilization

    Speaking of alliterative eateries, this one could be named “Ethical Entanglements”. It wouldn’t be the first such. The archetype might be “Signatures” in DC, owned by Jack Abramoff the felonious lobbyist, who famously used it to wine and dine politicians in the reverse scenario of MT’s Senator Scumbag.

  101. Miss Othmar
    January 15th, 2010 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

  102. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
    January 15th, 2010 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    @Miss Othmar (#101): d’awwwww! hummingbirds are amazing things.

    @Poteet (#99): its not obvious, but there’s *two* bebeh links. One requires insulin.

  103. Mollificent at work
    January 15th, 2010 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#85): Oh God, I knew better than to sneak a peek at CC during a slow moment on the floor. My coworkers and customers think I just had some kind of seizure. :D Bad Molly! More harp selling, mule!

  104. yaoi huntress earth
    January 15th, 2010 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    9CWL: Once again, Brooke, we get it. Your character have the world’s most awesome physical romances ever and we should be honored to even witness them. Surprised you didn’t go with an Amos clone (without the glasses) like you usually do.

  105. Anonymous
    January 15th, 2010 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    @Muffaroo (#63):

    Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

  106. zerowolf
    January 15th, 2010 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    FC: Grandma is showing Dolly her collection of graven images. Soon she’ll be showing Dolly the joys of dancing naked under the… BRAIN BLEACH! BRAIN BLEACH!

  107. bats :[
    January 15th, 2010 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    @Miss Othmar (#101): great…I just spent 20 minutes watching a hummingbird…

  108. zerowolf
    January 15th, 2010 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    June is showing an emotion other than rage. Three weeks ago Margo went into a church and Ziggy wore pants. The end is nigh my friends.

  109. zerowolf
    January 15th, 2010 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Third mistake, getting romance advice from Brad and Toni…..

  110. Jamus The Bartender
    January 15th, 2010 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    Spider Man: Say, there’s a coincidence, the long haired pimp is looking for his ho, also named Wolverine, just like the X-Man, so he can smack her around for holding out.

  111. Jamus The Bartender
    January 15th, 2010 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan: Ohh…Aunt Betty was a stickeyfingers….yeah, I think I know something about this kind of thing….

  112. thunderheels
    January 15th, 2010 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    Josh,
    As you were thrown off by the A3G “the block” I, too, was thrown by your reference to “hooting”. In my college days hooting was what you did when you drank to much and had to expel the extra. Of course, as I thought about it hooting would be an appropriate response to Ruby and Tommie removing any piece of garment.

  113. Jamus The Bartender
    January 15th, 2010 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    My Cage: F**k. Pregnant Violet T. Chihuahua. With a broadsword. If Norm runs NOW, he might escape with minor lacerations.

  114. Jamus The Bartender
    January 15th, 2010 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Okay. Wilbur, the secret to good storytelling is “embellishment”. Did Abby throw dishes at you when you called her a good for nothing, gold-digging whore? Did you two have great angry sex afterward? Did she steal money from you to spend on blow before she left town? Did Abby star in a series of porno movies under the name Abby Gales? These things are very important to a story.
    Trust me.

  115. Jamus The Bartender
    January 15th, 2010 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean: Really, Funky? Not even, “Hey, is that a dead rat behind the counter?!!”

  116. wossname
    January 15th, 2010 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    FC – Grandma obviously bought her matching rose cardigan and sensible shoes at SantaRoyMart.

    RM – Apropos of nothing – June looks like Josie Packard in Twin Peaks.

    A3G – Tommie: Whew! For a second I thought you were no longer pitifully, pathetically single like the rest of us.

    Queek, Miss Othmar et al. – Thanks for the mindboggling onslaught of cuteness. Why is it that big ears are so appealing in animals? In people, not so much.

  117. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
    January 15th, 2010 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#116): must . . . resist . . . elf-pr0n . . . links. . . . .

  118. Ed Dravecky
    January 15th, 2010 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    @Tim Cavanaugh (#66): You can buy fairly inexpensive photo printers for home use, some that don’t even require a computer attached. The shocker here is that Grandma doesn’t have a photo album, just a shoebox crammed hapahazardly, meaning she loves her grandkids with the same intensity she loves credit card receipts, baseball cards, and those little soaps you only find in hotels.

  119. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
    January 15th, 2010 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    I am not responsible for any diabetus related injuries caused by watching the following fennec video

  120. Rita Lake and the Special Goddesses
    January 15th, 2010 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#19): I’ve never met anyone named Lyle. The first Lyle to come to my mind is always the eponymous hero of a book I read in first grade, Lyle, Lyle Crocodile, who is an anthropomorphic, city-dwelling crocodile. I hope that’s who Ruby’s dating; it would certainly be more interesting than whoever this guy actually is.

    And speaking of A3G, I must say that when the creators disposed of all the roommates’ love interests in such short order (well, I guess it was something like a year between the death of Alan and the death of Eric and the dumping of Gary and the crazy-going of Dr. Joe, but you know what I mean), I kind of thought we were being set up for a story wherein all three girls would be competing for the attentions of the same guy. I’m not yet certain that I was wrong, but all this time we spend dwelling on the love lives of Aristotle and Ruby, I wonder.

  121. Kyledude
    January 15th, 2010 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    FC: good observation on the lack of background art. I used to love FC as a kid so much that I owned almost every book. Not that they were overwhelmingly funny, but Bil Keane always did a great job of making his cartoons extremely detailed which made them muck more entertaining. Something I’ve notice does not exist in the current strips (unless they’re recycled like the grandparents visit.)

  122. Soccerhead
    January 15th, 2010 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    GT: I didn’t know Drunken Duncan was on the basketball team. You don’t get many chances to smack people in basketball.
    Would micah’s sister tell Bulky Brock Reed to set picks like he means it?
    BB: How did Zero become the bartender?
    They couldn’t find anybody else?
    Cathy: In that outfit, she’s almost a Person of Walmart.

  123. Poteet
    January 15th, 2010 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando (#102): Thank you. The one with the long ears is the insulin version for me. Holy moly.

  124. gnome de blog
    January 15th, 2010 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    @Rita Lake and the Special Goddesses (#120): I don’t care about their love lives. I just want the glamorous 1960′s Tommie back, who could freeze Margo in her tracks with a single icy glance.

    aside to Margaret Shuloch: “Lyle” ain’t bad, but if you want a real down-home Texas name, go with “Lamar.”

  125. Poteet
    January 15th, 2010 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    A3G — If we don’t see Lu Ann soon, I’m going to revive my monthly Lu Ann shout-out. She might as well be in South Dakota again, for all we see of her.

  126. Poteet
    January 15th, 2010 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    A3G — Per the Lyle discussion, I know three of them. Lyle, LaVern, and Lloyd are fairly common Iowa farmer names.

  127. McManx
    January 15th, 2010 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    @Sister Sestina (#78):
    Ha, ha, Sis. And this is a case of Jiffy Popcornification if ever I saw one.

  128. Red Greenback
    January 15th, 2010 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#126): Poteet, I know a guy named Lowell. Lowell Ballentine (he was born and raised in Iowa)!

  129. UncleJeff
    January 15th, 2010 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#125): No, Poteet. East Dakota.

  130. Poteet
    January 15th, 2010 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#128): Yep, that’s another Iowa farmer name:-). I know a couple of Lorens, too.

  131. Poteet
    January 15th, 2010 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#129): From the mountains we saw in “South Dakota” when Lu Ann was there, East Dakota does make about as much sense.

  132. Broth
    January 15th, 2010 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    My paper doesn’t carry 9 Chickweed Lane and I usually try my darndest to avoid it, so perhaps I’m missing something, but why have the protagonists of this pretentious artistic abortion been replaced by sympathetic interchangable preening Nazis? Did the perpetrator of this strip decide that the world was finally ready to confront the artistic passions of the goose-stepping gentlemen in the cool uniforms? I’m surprised that deathbed Eva Braun hasn’t yet turned into a cockroach, or whatever the hell the last storyline was about.

  133. Fashion Police
    January 15th, 2010 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#87) said:

    A3G — I don’t see the point of wearing a heavy neck scarf if you aren’t going to wear a hat. A hat protects something like a quarter of your body heat, whereas a neck scarf doesn’t do much. Theoretically, a neck scarf could be worn just as an attractive fashion statement. But in this case, Ruby’s making her statement with her, um, bows. And [Tommie] never makes fashion statements, just vague mutterings. Her blue coat and green scarf look like something a MARK TRAIL duck would wear.

    Practically speaking, you are quite correct about heavy scarves. However, we submit that everyone, even Miss Thompson, makes a fashion statement whenever she sets foot out the door – even if all she says is, “I am a Mark Trail duck!” In her case, that might be more aspirational than definitive.

  134. Poteet
    January 15th, 2010 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#133): Good point. And thank you for tactfully not mentioning my Bobbie for Tommie substitution. Good grief.

  135. Poteet
    January 15th, 2010 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#133): And re the aspirational duck, bwahaha!

  136. KarMann
    January 16th, 2010 at 12:02 am [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando (#119) et al.: Damn you people! I bet you know I’ve got a subconscious needle phobia, don’t you? You’re all out to get me hooked on that needle regardless, I just know it!

  137. nil zed
    January 16th, 2010 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando (#102): insulin indeed! I don’t keep up, so I don’t know what those are, but they are seriously sincerely cute.

  138. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#107): I can think of far worse ways to spend 20 minutes!

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando (#117): Please, just keep up the cuteness—no weirdness! (I just went to a group dining-out, and one of the women there was most sincerely insane—I mean, actually mentally ill. So I’m finding the unadulterated cuteness completely refreshing.)

    Oh, and I want one of the little running-around foxes. Of course, I’d have to quit my job so I could stay home all day and watch it….

  139. Just some guy
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    She’s still Tommie from the Block.

  140. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 16th, 2010 at 2:12 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Take a risk and meet some new people”? Um… are Tommie and I about to live parallel lives? If so, then I need to change directions.

    MW: I’ve not been fishing in some time, so I might not be aware of the latest fishing techniques—but why are they holding their fishing poles off to the side like that?

    Perhaps Abby never talked about her past because she was too high to remember it. That is one drugged-out expression in that photo!

    MT: Mr. Elrod, are you sure you know what “personable” means?

    And that’s quite the Mad Men scene in panel 1. It’s almost like looking at a couple of Don Draper types, out on their expense-account lunch. Except that there’s no suaveness, or sophistication, or sexiness. Or booze, for that matter. As with so many things in life, it’s far less interesting without cocktails.

  141. Rusty's Ghost
    January 16th, 2010 at 5:39 am [Reply]

    I’m just going to totally spoil new Foob by saying that Connie never DID get together with Phil. This entire plot is a dead-end bagatelle. Sorry about that, but then again, I’m #@$%ing DEAD, okay? All of this is pretty much Owl Creek Bridge from here on out. Thanks again, Jack Elrod!

  142. Strangefate
    January 16th, 2010 at 5:57 am [Reply]

    What exactly is the joke in that Family Circle comic? I suppose it’s a little naiveté of me at this point to think these spots are supposed to have jokes, still…I’m confused. It’s just someone doing something mundane — Grandma Keane organizing photos of her grandkids. There’s no point to it as far as I can tell. I mean, might as well show a picture of the Keane parents discussing the weather or washing dishes. Am I missing something? Or is the target audience of this strip space aliens, uncertain of how everyday humdrum life was lived ten to twenty years ago, and eager for poorly drawn examples?

  143. Sheila Sternwell
    January 16th, 2010 at 6:17 am [Reply]

    Sally Forth: I like SF and I get sucked into it quite a bit, which is why I hollered OH GIRL YOU DID NOT JUST OOOOOH at today’s strip. Sally has forgotten that Ted found his testicles a few months ago, I guess.

    A3G: In 6 to 8 months, Tommie will be walking slowly to the morgue, thinking to herself, “What’s the worst that could happen, she said. Take a risk, she said.”

  144. Peter Hillock
    January 16th, 2010 at 7:29 am [Reply]

    I thought the musical Texan in the Big City named Lyle was clearly inspired by Lyle Lovett– almost too clearly, like having Ruby date an Austrian bodybuilder named, oh, Arnold. Or an English drummer named Ringo.

  145. Ed Dravecky
    January 16th, 2010 at 7:29 am [Reply]

    1/16 Mary Worth: Who the heck was taking all these candid photos of Wilbur and Abby? And for the love of Benji, why?

  146. KarMann
    January 16th, 2010 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#145): The same guy who took all those pictures of the Groovy Blinkerlegume cast and puts them in those old sticky corner holders. That’s who.

  147. 8th Man Fan
    January 16th, 2010 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    Friday Phantom: So Ghost-Who-Moves-On is already picturing Capt. Savarna as the new mother of his children? Hope Diana isn’t holding her breath waiting for that rescue.

  148. 8th Man Fan
    January 16th, 2010 at 8:20 am [Reply]

    A3G: “What’s the worst that can happen?”

    Phantom: Please let this be a spurned, pissed-off Capt. Savarna trying to blow stripey-pants out of the water.

    S-M: If Sabretooth’s claws are strong enough to break through bricks, why did he start his attack with a punch? Now that I think about it, how can he make a fist?

  149. mordock999
    January 16th, 2010 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Somewhere OUTSIDE of the Luanniverse….,

    Gunther – “Just WHERE are we, Brad?”

    Brad – “We’re in LIMBO, Gunther, the Spacetime Continuum between the publication of the Luann Strips. Here we can do and say anything, almost!”

    Gunther – “Awesome, OWWWWWW!!! What was that??”

    Brad – “I FORGOT to tell you. There ARE some Rules in LIMBO. Cliche Words and phrases are Strictly Forbidden, punishable, by EXTREME pain. Words like ‘COOL’, (OUCH!) Or phrases like ‘It sounded JUST like a BOMB, going off’ (OUCH, DAMN-IT!) Get the picture? (OWWWW!)”

    Gunther – “Yeah, got it”

    Brad – “Anyway heres what I wanted to show you. Look at all these rooms.”

    Gunther – “Wow! (OUCH!) There must be Billions of them!

    Brad – “Right! Each room leads to the mind of every living person on Earth. By entering a specific room you can influence the thoughts of that person while they are asleep! And here’s Greg’s room!”

    Gunther – “Wow (OUCH!) he’s got some fantastic ideas floating around here!”

    Brad – “Think so? Here’s what he has YOU doing in about 6 weeks.”

    Gunther – “Oh geez NOT again! (OWW!)”

    Brad – “Yeah, really. BUT forget about that. Just go to those NODES over there on that wall, wait til he’s asleep and whisper that you want to be depicted as being LESS nerdy, MORE confident, and you want to WIN the hand of Luann! Oh, and TELL him to quit drawing You in THAT damned shirt! TRY It REALLY works! THATS how I got Toni!”

    Gunther – Wow! (Ouch!) I ALWAYS thought Your getting Toni was due to Fan Demand.”

    Brad – “Naw. FAN DEMAND is a MYTH, Gunth. ALWAYS has been. Okay now, STEP up to that NODE in the far left corner where THAT guy is standing and WAIT your turn.”

    Gunther – “Who IS that Guy, Brad??”

    Brad – “DAMNED, if I know. (OWW!)”

    __________________________________

    “Pssst, Greg? DEATH to TJ!!! (OOOOOOOUCH!!!)

  150. Écureuil Écumant
    January 16th, 2010 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    MT: It will be extra hard doing anything that Senator Scumbag doesn’t approve of, when you sit there in his restaurant plotting your strategy at one of his thoroughly-bugged tables.

    MW: Abby’s pupils were blown (acid) on the 14th when she visited the Rich estate, and today in the photo they’re pinned (heroin). Ah, nostalgia!

    S-M Yeah, with claws like that I can sure see why that dude has trouble tuning his Strad.

    FW: “The happiness police never even get a whiff of it.” So let me see if I’ve got this straight: Trellium-D is sort of the futuristic equivalent of stuffing a towel into the crack at the bottom of the door?

    GT: “And by end…”? Sounds like Micah Huang’s also writing the strip.

  151. Motorposus
    January 16th, 2010 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    @Rusty’s Ghost (#141): Do you mean to say that Connie’s lips never did taste that splendid, salty moustache? And incidentally, is moustache salt a given, or does Connie perceive that Phil is a sweaty, sweaty man, or that he blows his nose a lot, or eats a lot of kimchee, or what?

  152. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
    January 16th, 2010 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    NS: best . . . NS . . . EVAR!

    RwO: lil pink sock shout out!!! (and a truly atrocious pun to boot!)

    Luanne: *glurge*

    Lio: wow. kid could give lessons to Calvin when it comes to snowmen!

    Ink Pen: nice wrap-up. Cleats, not so much.

    SpeedBump: would have been better with an empty opium pipeglass or something on the night stand.

    A3G: I can’t help but think that Ruby’s comment is intended for the folks here as well. (see gnome de blog’s comment @124.)

  153. Gnoll
    January 16th, 2010 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    A3G: “What’s the worst that can happen” Ruby? Oh, I don’t know, maybe being kidnapped and forced into slave labor in a factory? It’s not like this hasn’t happened before!

  154. Mardou Fox
    January 16th, 2010 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan should have had a warning in panel 1 today! June blindsided me with that Look of Death in the final panel!! Excuse me, I have to go administer first-aid to myself–her laser eyes blistered my skin.

  155. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
    January 16th, 2010 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    @nil zed (#137): they are fennecs, a big-eared desert fox that lives in Africa. One got posted to Daily Squee yesterday, and I made the mistake of google-image searching for more. My brain was turned to kyootness mush as a result.

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#138): I was looking for a *ahem* furrier sort of fennec pic for Niall and Jamus, but the ones that I found were a bit much for here. So, here’s teh kyoot turned up to eleven!

  156. zerowolf
    January 16th, 2010 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    A3G: Gee Ruby, you’re right. I’ll put an ad on Craigslist and see what happens

  157. Ed Power, Cage Writer
    January 16th, 2010 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Hi CC-er’s,

    Official announcment is coming soon, but head’s up:

    The ‘My Cage’ book is on sale! It’s POD book currently available on amazon.com’s POD branch, createspace:

    https://www.createspace.com/3415444

    Also, KFS itself will be re-lauching our cafe press store in conjuction with their larger store.

    Updates coming on both these things next week. But, post abou the book anywhere comic readers post. Thanks. :)

    -Ed

  158. Ed Power, Cage Writer
    January 16th, 2010 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Sorry for all the typos above. I’m getting my kids breakfast as I’m typing this. :)

  159. zerowolf
    January 16th, 2010 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft: “Your regular doctor is out, but this nice Doctor Kevorkian says he can see you this afternoon.”

  160. Mibbitmaker
    January 16th, 2010 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    A3G: Famous. Last. Words.

    DT: ENOUGH of the freakin’ “longhair” already!

    FW: The whole strip’s gone insane.

    JP: “Wait — no…. that was me. Sorry.”

    R&R: It’s good enough for an alligator/croc puppet! Whatta do, Rover!

    S4th: LUUUUUUUUUCYYYYYYYYYYYY…!

  161. TheDiva
    January 16th, 2010 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    FW: Congratulations guys, you just made Mopey Pete look good.

    reFOOB: Never let Michael Patterson write your fantasies.

    Luann: “Well, Gunther, all I can suggest is that you keep doing what you’re doing. You have absolutely no physical, mental, or personal traits which a woman would ever find attractive, so all you can really do is hope to wear Luann down with your persistence. Worked for me.”

    MW: “The way she drew devil horns and mustaches and wrote the word “LOSER” in big letters over your image was especially telling…”

  162. John C Fremont
    January 16th, 2010 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    @Ed Power, Cage Writer (#157): Very cool! I can’t remember exactly when I started reading My Cage, but I’m pretty sure I missed most of year one, so this’ll be great for me!

    DT – So will The Maestro and His Orchestra also be playing at this gala? Maybe it’ll turn into a wacky Battle of the Bands, just like that scene from Xanadu. And then maybe, oh, I dunno, Dick and Tess will get all sparkly & then turn into Don Bluth fish and dance to an ELO “power ballad.” And really, is that any more insane than anything else that takes place in this strip?

    JP – When I first read this, I swear I thought Sam was saying, “Someone’s getting us up again, Jim…” As you might imagine, I had a number of things to say in response.

  163. wossname
    January 16th, 2010 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    DT – “petifors”? Is this supposed to show that Dick is a illiterate moron regular all-American guy who doesn’t know how to spell or pronounce “petits fours”? I mean, certainly no comics writer who cared about the quality of his strip would just throw in a misspelled word, right? Oh, wait.

    I am actually curious to see how this is going to play out, though. Presumably the embassy gala will be where some sort of action will play out, endlessly, like the circus in the previous arc. But where is the doctored Strad going to come in? We should know the answer by, oh, July, I guess.

    JP – Somebody’s setting you up, Sam? Now who could that possibly be?

    MT – Watch out, Mr. Tuggle — the squirrels are dropping giant Elrodballs on the canoe! Panel 3 will have one of those Phantom-style watery BOOMs as the Elrodball detonates.

  164. dreadedcandiru2
    January 16th, 2010 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    Sunday ‘Funnies’:

    ReFoob: In tomorrow’s effort, John builds a snow fort to show his family how they survived in the old days; when he’s done, he finds out that they’ve gone inside.

    Cancer Cancerbean: A discussion of Keisha’s basketball skills ends up comparing her to a handgun; I guess we know who Wally will accidentally shoot now.

    Sally Forth: Ces reminds us that he writes the webcomic Medium Large by having Sally’s former assistant spout non sequiturs and act like a maniac.

  165. dreadedcandiru2
    January 16th, 2010 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    Canadian Zombie, 16 January 2009: Is it just me or does everyone else feel sort of disgusted by the phrase “salt on his mustache”? I don’t know what they’d be doing for her to experience that; all I know is that I want it banned.

  166. Baka Gaijin
    January 16th, 2010 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Sound effect of the week: PRONK! as Curtis’ ice skate lodges up his teacher’s massive Pluggerlike ass.

    Curtis: Just exactly what are the physics of Curtis’ ice skate getting shoved up his teacher’s butt? In the first panel he’s gliding forward with his skate out, then all the sudden that skate has a teacher impaled upon it. Was she skating backward? Was she hoping for another kind of incursion of her booty? Enquiring minds want to know.

    Curtis, again: PRONK? That’s the sound of an ice skate hitting an Coca Cola machine, not a sofa-sized fatass. How about BOYOYOYOYINNNNG! or SLICE! QLUNQ, not so much.

  167. wossname
    January 16th, 2010 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @dreadedcandiru2 (#165): It’s not just you, there’s something very eeeewwww-producing about that whole strip, and especially the salt on his mustache. Ick.

    Let me also be the first of many to point out that Rue des Feves means Beans Street. Why would she choose Beans Street as the venue for her fantasy? The least disgusting answer I can come up with is that she doesn’t speak French, like most Ontarians of her generation.

  168. gleeb
    January 16th, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    ‘bean: I guess whatever lie you have to tell Psychotic Henry to keep him from killing again, you tell.

    Candor: Every time a cartoonist references twitter, another chunk drops off of culture, never to be seen again.

    Brenda: Oh yeah, them priuses are real panty-peelers.

    Phantom: The ghost-who-motorboats don’t need no dang twitter to dodge shells.

    Pluggers: …name-check large retailers, probably for kickbacks.

  169. John C Fremont
    January 16th, 2010 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    I asked Mrs. Fremont to read today’s Foob, and we were both equally creeped out. Not only was the thought of flavored facial hair not even an issue to consider for her, but I have been assured – and please don’t ask for details – that my facial hair is completely void of any sort of flavor whatsoever.

    Seriously, I was so creeped out by today’s Foob that I was actually prepared to start shaving again for the first time in years. Or in yahrens, as Commander Adama might say.

  170. Aviatrix
    January 16th, 2010 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    MW Abby is such a free spirit that her hair overflows the photographic border. Also she looks thirty in that photo.

  171. Red Greenback
    January 16th, 2010 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    FC: Grandma K. looks like a gigantic Q-tip®.

  172. Motorposus
    January 16th, 2010 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#169): Thanks, Fremont household, for shedding some light on the issue of flavored facial hair, even at the risk of lasting squeamishness.

    Today’s reFoob reminded me of a Don Martin cartoon in which a hippie offers his pal a meal of egg yolks, beef gravy with rice, and watermelon juice, then squeezes the concoction out of his beard into a bowl. The sound it makes is “shklurch”.

  173. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
    January 16th, 2010 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#166):

    additional information on pronking is available on the internets.

  174. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
    January 16th, 2010 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#166):

    and in some of the most interesting of places! :-D

  175. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
    January 16th, 2010 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

  176. Muffaroo
    January 16th, 2010 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @Strangefate (#142): I’m guessing the putative joke is Dolly’s knowledge that she is “cute.” They’ll be here all decade. Try the mayo.

  177. Muffaroo
    January 16th, 2010 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    9CL – Hey, does grabbing somebody and kissing the fricatives out of them and then apologizing really work for anybody besides hunky krauts in comic-opera uniforms?

    Crankshaft – I can’t wait to see what lame malapropism makes it onto Crankshaft’s tombstone. ‘Rest in Pizza’? ‘Sacred to the Menagerie of…’? Seriously, I can’t wait. The sooner, the better.

    Curtis – I like how Curtis seems to be resting his elbow on Mrs. Nelson’s butt in panel three. (Don’t anybody spoil this for me now.)

    Dick – Dick seems to hate longhair music with the same abiding animus that coot in “The Eye Creatures” has against “smoochers.”

  178. Muffaroo
    January 16th, 2010 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    Family – “Ha ha ha! Silent But Deadly, that’s ol’ Jeffy!”

    GilOn the floor. Heh. I once called a computer store and asked to talk to the rep for our company, and was told “She’s on the floor with a client.” I resisted the very strong impulse to say “Good lord!”

    Hägar – The sound of one dick clapping.

    Mary – The way Abby’s picture has been cut out and glued in on top of a photo of Wilbur by himself (note the hair) suggests that this photo comes from Wilbur’s collection, which also includes him with Britney Spears, Marilyn Monroe, Seka, and Penny Singleton.

    PluggerHold on there, Dog-Man! Maybe you’d better get two weeks’ supply!

    R=R – What’s the big mystery about Jimbo finding all the walnuts? He’s a freaking Gumbo. He’s naturally attracted to nuts.

    Spidey – He’s a maniac! And he hates these bricks!

  179. harkaharlot
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    when i read the second A3G panel, i thought ruby said “YOU and i are just having fun together” which i thought made it a little more interesting…then i read it correctly. i’m going to misread these things more often.

  180. Ed Dravecky
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    9CL: The artwork finally reveals that this was all an twisted Quantum Leap slashfic with Sam leaping into Edie’s body and Al dressed as a sexy Nazi to keep a Swiss-cheesed Edie/Sam from helping Hitler win WWII. His task complete, Al steps out of the imaging chamber back to the future year of 1999.

    Beetle Bailey: General Halftrack has picked the wrong week to slam “charity requests” as unworthy of his attention.

    B.C. and Blondie both tackle the ripped-from-the-headlines heartbreak of cowlicks today but only B.C. makes it about bestiality. (Johnny Hart would be so proud.)

    Crock: Ha! It’s funny because… oh, wait, Crock is never funny and today is no exception. Never mind.

    Dick Tracy: WHY NOT? Because you formed as a band two days ago and you signed with a talent agency this morning! Oh my sweet and fluffy Lord, the shooting and/or maiming of these characters cannot begin soon enough.

    Dick Tracy (again): Can nobody at Tribune Media Services be bothered to read the roughly 50 words in each day’s strip? We’ve already got the Tracys on a “guess” list and now Dick looks forward to some “petifors”. They’re called “petits fours“, sir. With all the time warping in this strip, you’d think the writers could take five seconds to use Da Google to see how “petits fours” is spelled.

    Family Circus: I only pray my mother, a retired English teacher and technical writer, does not gaze upon the monstrous misuse of punctuation in today’s comic. I fear for both her safety and Bil Keane’s should that occur.

  181. Baka Gaijin
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando (#174): Huh. I’m not sure which is weirder: Curtis’s ice skate up the teacher’s titanic wazoo or gazelle’s pronking in the savannah.

  182. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    MT: So Mr. Tuggle reached the lake by plane (bad!) but goes fishing in a canoe (good!). I look to this strip for overly simplistic, black/white, hirsute/clean-shaven moral clarity. I don’t like this whole “complexity” nonsense one bit.

    I’m fully confident, though, that Elrod will come through with a nice, obvious, punch-worthy villain.

    SM: Yes, let’s imagine what you could have done if you’d used those claws to surprise Spidey, instead of pretending you were Sandman and punching him. And after eviscerating our hero, you would have been feted and praised across the comics land. But now, your future consists of cliched banter, a few narrow escapes, and, eventually, an ignominious end wrapped in webbing from which, this time, you will be inexplicably unable to escape. Sucks to have Stan Lee writing for you, doesn’t it?

    A3G: Tommie, let me tell you what can happen when you venture out to meet new people:
    –A 70-year-old man whom you’ve just met can attempt to thank you for dancing with him by trying to French-kiss you.
    –A grown woman can throw a tantrum, crying, “I am not a ghost!,” when she doesn’t get her appetizer first at dinner.
    –A guy can tell you that he loves to watch you dance while another part of his anatomy is very clearly telling you at the same time that it, too, loves the way you dance.

    No, it’s not murder or white slavery, but it can be pretty friggin’ bizarre.

  183. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando (#175): Why is that the live cutie-pie foxes just make me go all melty, and these just give me creepiness frissons?

  184. Baka Gaijin
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: WRONGO! Two aisles down, across from the XXXXXXL sweat pants is the “frozen fried” aisle. Fried chicken wings, chicken fried steak, chicken fried chicken, fried anything unless it’s those, those, taquitos. Can’t trust them Mexican dishes, nosiree. First they’re taking up a little space next to the French Freedom Fries, then they’re all over the whole freezer, taking jobs away from American foods like hamburgers.

  185. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#183): “Why is it that…” That made no sense. Geez, I’m writing like Jeff Keane now.

  186. Flipper
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#166): Curtis is skating backwards at the time of the unfortunate pronking.

  187. cheech wizard
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#180): That’s funny, I thought it was going to be the German officer who was leaping into Edie’s body.

  188. mr 12 oz can
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    mark trail – does mark wear cufflinks with his brown suit and while fine dining does he use a salad fork ??? things that make you go hmmm
    mary worth-the dock keeps getting smaller but no one worrys about there safety you people are just worried about what abbey did and shes been dirtnapping awhile who cares

  189. Poteet
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    ReFoob — And I thought STONE SEASON was bad.

  190. Baka Gaijin
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    @Flipper (#186): Really? There are no swoosh lines going toward Teachy McBigbutt. Why would someone skate backwards with a razor sharp blade at crotch level [shudder!] on an open rink with many other people around whose various dangly bodyparts could be eviscerated by said blade?

    I gotta give him credit. Curtis did look like the “black Greg Louganis of ice skating.”

  191. Uncle Lumpy
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @Rusty’s Ghost (#141):

    All of this is pretty much Owl Creek Bridge from here on out.

    All of Mark Trail is like Owl Creek Bridge — but with a really, really big owl.

  192. Poteet
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    We seem to be in a comics competition for the relative we most wish would take a long walk down a short pier. Will the winner be Brook in MW, for not only trashing the place but stealing money? Or Kurt, for bad clothes, painful prose, and possibly not being a relative in the first place? Or Sally Forth’s sister, for talking Sally into a loan which Sally is almost certain to regret, while Sis sits on the couch with her eyebrows cocked at an angle that clearly states “even I don’t believe this crap I’m dishing out”? Stay tuned!

  193. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    ‘shaft: Quickly! We must balance this man’s humours. Fetch me my fleams! I will administer a purgative of tincture of mercury.

  194. Poteet
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#192): Sorry, that was Brook in RMMD, obviously. Part of me really wishes she’d stroll into MW, meet Kurt, and saunter out of the comics with him.

  195. Saluki
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    Saturday’s Tracy: I’m still not sure what the name of this “rock band” is. Maestro’s Kid and the Deformed Left Hand or Maestro’s Kid and The Out of Panel Invisibles?

  196. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
    January 16th, 2010 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#183): sorry. I didn’t find a beefcake version until after I’d posted those. There may also be some Uncanny Valley action involved as well. Or perhaps you just don’t swing yiffy. No matter, its all good. :-)

    On a more comics related note, I discovered that googling “masky mcdeath” returns an entire page one of Comics Curmudgeon results, or TVTropes comments based on here. (I wanted to show the queeksgirl the spoofs on it from PBS and MC.)

  197. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 16th, 2010 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando (#196): Nope, the beefcake doesn’t help. Still creepy. Thanks for trying, though! =-)

    (And just about whenever I google anything comics related, a big chunk of the results are from this site. We’re colonizing the internet!)

  198. mollificent
    January 16th, 2010 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#182): Wow…did all of that happen the other night when you were out? I’m going out with you next time. We can throw in karaoke as well (karaoke and I go together like chocolate and peanut butter, except for the creepy guys who then try to buy me drinks. Clarification: it’s not the buying of drinks that makes them creepy…it just seems like the only guys who do are the creepy ones. *sigh*)

    A3G: “What’s the worst that can happen?” Depends…is Batiuk guest writing the strip anytime soon?

    FOOB: AUGH!! Some of us are trying to eat breakfast here, you know! *gag*

    Luann: *eyeroll*

    Knight Life: *snicker* as Michael Kelso would say, “BURN!!!”

  199. Poteet
    January 16th, 2010 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#180): I hate to say it, but I can sort of understand Tribune Media Services’ point of view. Odds are they don’t even like to look at DT. I’m not sure how much longer I can stand it myself.

  200. Poteet
    January 16th, 2010 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#182): Hahaha! Sorry you had the opportunity to illustrate your meeting-people point so well.

    Perhaps at some point in the future, we’ll be able to watch the new, improved Tommie march up to Ruby and deck her for that dumb question. Or maybe Tommie will reenact the part of Agnes Gooch after she took similar advice from Auntie Mame.

  201. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 16th, 2010 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#198): I guess I should have mentioned one of the benefits to Tommie: You rarely have to buy your own cocktails!

    (And, thankfully, that weirdness was spread over two nights!)

  202. Amateur
    January 16th, 2010 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    The comics are really annoying me today.

    FBoFW: The SALT of his MOUSTACHE? EWWWW! Lady, you need serious help!
    MW: Enough already with the Abby pictures! She’s Wilbur’s old girlfriend, not ours! We don’t need enough pictures to make a freakin’ photo album of the woman!!

    It’s come to this . . . I’m screaming at the comics. *sigh*

  203. cheech wizard
    January 16th, 2010 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    A3G – The “worst that can happen” is that Tommie gets committed to Sunny Dale for another three months – which is what usually happens when she tries “being herself” for any length of time. She’s learned through long and painful experience that it’s best just to keep the “real Tommie” under wraps and not share with others what’s really going on inside that little red head of hers.

  204. commodorejohn
    January 16th, 2010 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    A3G – No, Ruby, I’m pretty sure there isn’t. If there ever was a smart, funny redhead in Tommie, I think she probably withered away years ago.

    BrS – Under what warped sense of vehicular aesthetics is a Prius sexy? It looks like the ultimate suburban mom car.

    Curtis – I know everybody else has beaten me to the punch, but…PRONK!?

    DT – Aha, here’s our setup for wacky hijink(s)! Dick thinks “embassy dinner” and thinks “champagne and longhair music” – buuuuttttt in reality the ambassador’s hiring damn hippies and passing around cheap beer! It’ll be like They’ll Do It Every Time, but with more murder.

    FW – Gah. I’d assume that Funky Winkerbean accidentally wandered into self-parody, but it almost seems intentional, but I can’t fathom that, so I have to assume that…gah.

    Garfield – Q: What do Odie and Wonder Woman have in common?

    GT – Wow, the sports action scene in today’s Gil Thorp is actually vaguely comprehensible. Truly, the end must be drawing nigh.

    Lockhorns – Things I really did not want to see in the funnies, #319: Leroy Lockhorn being compared to a geyser, with the added implication that he goes off like clockwork.

    Love Is… – a trip to Thailand.

    Luann – See, this is why I want TJ to murder everybody. The last thing they’ll see will be that horrible, horrible grin of his.

    MW – “Braaaiiinnnsss…”

    NS – Can anyone explain to me how mimes ever got to be not just acceptable targets, but preferred targets? I’m not really a fan of mime (mimery?) but I really don’t get the hate.

    Phantom – Oh, so that’s where Peter Parker’s spider-sense got to.

    RMMD – From what we’ve seen of Brooke, she could be called a lot of things, including a thief, but “conniving?” Hah, no.

    SM – Much as I hate to be sticking up for a loser like Spider-Man, I feel that I should point out that your claws would have to hit him, and aside from the free sucker-punch every single villain in this strip gets, you’re 0-for-2 on that count. Good luck with that.

    Edison Lee – You know that guy who has one thing he’s really obsessed with, and has a deep-seated compulsion to make every single conversation he participates in relate to his pet topic, no matter how convolutedly? Yeah. Edison is that guy.

  205. bats :[
    January 16th, 2010 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#204): re NS and mimes: I think this developed from the (modern?) mime attitude to “keep pushing,” even when an audience member (read, mime victim) asks to be left alone. As far as I remember when I was a kid in the 60s, everyone liked Marcel Marceau (and after him, Shields and Yarnell) — they might’ve been the ones to bring mimes (the white-greasepainted ones) to the forefront. While I don’t recall their humor “involving” the audience, for some reason mimes seem to have incorporated it into their routines at some point.

    Maybe it’s the “artistry” of a very good mime like Marceau that gave some legitimacy to it, and people who don’t like clowns were kinda sorta okay with a person in white-face, but otherwise fairly normally dressed. (Marceau’s Bip was in a sailor’s uniform and a black porkpie hat, not floppy shoes, a tall, pointed hat, wild hair, and squirting flowers.) Adding the audience involvement into a mime routine may be Just Too Much for onlookers (it is to me — I liked Marceau and Shields and Yarnell, but I don’t like obnoxious “let’s have fun TOGETHER!” entertainment of just about any sort–Ren Faire entertainers included), leading to the mime backlash.

    Baka Gaijin, do you have issues with mimes? Do you see them as being different from clowns?

  206. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 16th, 2010 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#205): I was fortunate to have seen a live performance by Marceau when I was in college; it was pretty amazing stuff—artistic, moving, and very theatrical. Maybe some of the backlash is against the degradation of what Marceau showed was possible?

  207. Chyron HR
    January 16th, 2010 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G – “LET HER OUT. I promise the courts will be lenient if you do.”

    Between Friends – Can we just have a comic strip about dem hips them instead?

    Luann – “Yes, Gunther, it’s unfair that fickle whoresluts don’t appreciate nice guys like us.”

    Luann bonus snark – Today’s guest cartoonist is Tim B^Uckley.

    Non Sequitur – “Class, today’s assignment is to write an actual joke for this comic.” “Uh, uh, teacher, teacher, what about… what about… ‘We haven’t been able to get a word out of him?’” “Very good, Timmy! You get a gold star!”

    Previously, on X-Men“Almost had you that time!” “The embassy has invited you to the gala.” “Somebody’s setting us up again, Jim.” “You’re being neurotic.” “I’m gonna go loot.” “So that’s what this is about… things?” “They was usin’ human greed to make us slaves!” “Coated with ‘Trellium D’…” “You can never be too unsure.”

  208. Baka Gaijin
    January 16th, 2010 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#205): Mimes? No extra problem with them. I haven’t seen any in person except for Mumenshantz performed by naked lesbians when I was in kindergarten. Wait, no, they weren’t naked lesbians, they had on high heeled black leather boots.

  209. Baka Gaijin
    January 16th, 2010 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    Come to think about it, one had a penis. They didn’t have notepads on their faces either, just black leather masks with a red ball in the middle. What you learn on a field trip to Tijuana.

  210. Baka Gaijin
    January 16th, 2010 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    Why do my repressed memories resemble a Dingo post?

  211. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
    January 16th, 2010 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#209): The Aristocrats!!

    come to think of it, there was a mime in that movie as well. . . . . .

  212. Poteet
    January 16th, 2010 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    ReFoob — This is so humiliating. *pause* Okay, what the hell. Can someone please tell me if this is a new strip or an old one? I’d like to know if Connie is being subjected to new depths of humiliation or was already subjected to the depths years ago. Though when it comes to humiliation, asking questions about ReFoob is waaay down there too.

  213. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 16th, 2010 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    A3G: What’s the worst that could happen? Well, I guess Tommie could meet a superficially charming guy who turns out to be an evil user. And I suppose that the ensuing trauma could leave her even more of a shut-down cipher than before. But that probably won’t happen, right?

    6C: What if Fred Bassett and Jock were two young newlywed women instead of dogs, but the strip were just as joke-free? I think it would go something like this.

    FW: I used to watch Enterprise, mainly because the guy playing Phlox was gave an interesting performance. But I have no idea what these two are talking about, so they’re even losing geeks at this point. While I’m nitpicking, I thought postal workers had to have at least five kills before they earned the nickname “Crazy”.

    HtH: Lucky Eddie knew Hagar needed either a hand or a hand job. So he picked the wrong one. At least he’s trying.

    Luann: It’s Saturday, so this little heart-to-heart is going to spill over into next week. Which means we’re in for about five days of Brad and Toni giving Gunther really bad advice. I mean, Rolly Church of Crete!, the kind of advice that regularly results in restraining orders being drawn up.

    MW: Congratulations to Joe Giella on drawing the stiffest and most awkward looking sentimental photo in comics history. Abby looks like Wilbur has a gun in her back and is ordering her to “just act natural.”

    FC: The best part are the sunken eyes on Billy’s just-woken face. I don’t know if he’s previously been the kid who beats the crap out of his little brother, but he’s about to become that guy.

  214. bats :[
    January 16th, 2010 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    Not a mime particularly, but the usual clown whom we all love…

  215. mr 12 oz can
    January 16th, 2010 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    hey only joe giella can have a fishing dock wide as a bulldozer start of week then small as twin mattress by the end of the week !!!!tik tok on the clock never stops

  216. bats :[
    January 16th, 2010 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @mr 12 oz can (#215): I blame seashore/lakeshore erosion!
    Or Wilbur snacking on it.

  217. Ukulele Ike
    January 16th, 2010 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#169): If your facial hair is completely void of flavor, John, then you are not deriving the full enjoyment from your soup.

  218. Rusty's Ghost
    January 16th, 2010 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    Motor: No, Connie never tasted the Mustache of Desire. Phil left her with nothing but blue notes. As for the salt on the mustache, either her imagination is warped and overactive, or my dying brain just threw that in when I imagined I read that comic, senselessly repeating itself from scratch but with new artwork, which no real comic artist would ever do. That makes sense, actually. Since I was DYING in SALT water, I mean. I guess that means I identify with Connie from the Shame of Canada? Okay, maybe I owe Mark and Jack an apology. In ancient Greece I wouldve gotten something cool like being exposed on a mountain top as eagle chow, though. Being killed by a 5-month-old puppy is teh suck.

  219. Carly
    January 16th, 2010 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    My grandmother also keeps all her photos in a box, and I should know because I just helped her go through all of them. (Also, about half of them were of me and my brother; apparently my mother is the only one of my grandmother’s four children/in-laws that knows how to use a camera.)

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