The Comics Curmudgeon

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The very model

Beetle Bailey, 1/16/10

I guess General Halftrack is supposed to be a one-star general — he has a single star on his uniform, anyway, and it’s kind of hard to imagine him getting promoted. It now appears that he has chosen this star as his logo, as if he were a supervillain or some kind, buying an enormous and hideous stained glass star window for his front door to boast of his status as a general officer. This may also be the origin story of the general’s starry pajamas, although those may indicate that he secretly harbors fantasies of someday becoming a 147-star general.

Also, have you noticed that very few people send personal letters anymore, which means that bills and bulk mail make up of most of what you get in your mailbox? That’s pretty funny, right? Right?

Apartment 3-G, 1/16/10

Is it possible that Ruby’s friend/casual sex partner Lyle is a bit player from Mark Trail? Because she seems to have acquired that strip’s random bolding syndrome. Remember, kids, always use protection when getting intimate with a cartoon character, because you too can fall victim to the heartbreak of RBS.

Panel from For Better Or For Worse, 1/16/10

Speaking of getting intimate, if you feel like your overactive libido is interfering with your life, why not print this panel out and look at it whenever you need to make those erotic feelings vanish in a puff of disgust? Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go wash my mustache for the next nine hours.

This entry was posted on Saturday, January 16, 2010 at 05:17 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Beetle Bailey, For Better or for Worse. |

176 responses to “The very model”

Colorado
January 16th, 2010 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

Your mustache needs THAT much washing???
Nate
January 16th, 2010 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

There were about three seconds there when I looked at Ruby in that last panel and thought she’d had her skull impaled by several shards of glass. Those three seconds before I realized they were just really poorly-drawn hair bows were some of the best of my day. Here and I just had sex about an hour ago.
Judas Peckerwood
January 16th, 2010 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

A 3-G: Actually, I think Ruby’s bolded words are appropriate in this case, which I’m interpreting as kind of a “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” moment.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
January 16th, 2010 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

BB: Perhaps the general is a little unclear on the definition of “mail”: the stuff your mail carrier brings you is “mail”; what the general wants, I suspect, are “letters.”

But that level of precision would spoil the gut-busting hilarity of this joke, right?
Patrick
January 16th, 2010 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

Do you think Ruby has found out about the smart, funny redhead who’s been walled in the crawlspace in Apartment 3G? Tommie and her roommates are going to have to kill her before she tells anyone else to let her out!
doug rogers
January 16th, 2010 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

What’s the worst that can happen? Something interesting?
Sister Sestina
January 16th, 2010 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

You think RBS is bad, what about Intermittent Italicism? Guaranteed to clog a simple “What’s the worst that can happen?” with a sticky film of foreboding.
John E.
January 16th, 2010 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

FOOB – that salty taste is probably from dried Canadian snot.
Muffaroo
January 16th, 2010 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

Foob – It’s not that kind of “mustache.”

@Ed Dravecky (#y180): “Petifors.” “Guess list.” I told them it was a mistake to let Crankshaft copyedit Dick Tracy. “If you don’t heed my advice,” I said, “Wackiness will surely ensue.” And oh, ’tis true, ’tis true!

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#y213): It’s not just awkward looking — it’s the fact that Abby has clearly been cut out and pasted over the photo. She overlaps the edge and her hair sticks into the white border.
Trent
January 16th, 2010 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

#8: FOOB – that salty taste is probably from dried Canadian snot.

Ugh. I’m afraid that the aforementioned salty taste isn’t snot.
Joe Blevins
January 16th, 2010 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

A3G: I can almost hear the thoughts of the Apartment 3-G coloring drone: “Oh, I guess that wasn’t a huge wart growing out the side of Ruby’s head. It’s actually part of her earring. Should I go back and fix panel one? Nah. Hell with it.”

My heart goes out to the “smart, funny redhead” trapped within the dank, mossy prison that is Tommie Thompson. I picture this poor hypothetical individual as one of the emaciated, hopeless long-timers in Wizard of Id, shackled to the wall of a dreary, inescapable dungeon.

BB: Is General Halftrack actually married to Mrs. Claus?
cliky
January 16th, 2010 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

The whole world is digging deep for Haiti and General Halftrack disses charitable giving, nice timing.
Charlene
January 16th, 2010 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

What’s the worst that could happen? She could end up dating someone from Funky Winkerbean!
Jamus The Bartender
January 16th, 2010 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Isn’t Salty Moustache the name of Uncle Phil’s jazz band?
Mischief Maker
January 16th, 2010 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

I was expecting Ruby’s answer in the final panel to be “Trepanation!”
Bryan
January 16th, 2010 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

Salt on the mustache…I totally missed that until it got mentioned in the comments this morning.
I’ve never had a mustache. Do mustaches get salty? Is it from food or snot or sweat?
Toby
January 16th, 2010 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

Like the dinosaur said, “Evolution is not for sissies.”
Ribinin
January 16th, 2010 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

Since I don’t read FOOB I wondered what all the “EWWWWW” was about; salt in the mustache = getting a little gray in the upper lip.

Then I saw the panel. Ewwwwwww.
Calico
January 16th, 2010 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

@John E. (#8): Hahahahah!
Don’t forget, though – in Canada there’s Federalist snot, and there’s also Separatist snot.
At least two different types for your kissing pleasure!
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
January 16th, 2010 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

FOOB: I think Michael Scott puts it best when he says,

“NO! GOD! NO, GOD! PLEASE, NO! NO! NO!

…

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Ed Power, Cage Writer
January 16th, 2010 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

Repost from earlier:

“Hi CC-er’s,

Official announcment is coming soon, but head’s up:

The ‘My Cage’ book is on sale! It’s POD book currently available on amazon.com’s POD branch, createspace:

https://www.createspace.com/3415444

Also, KFS itself will be re-lauching our cafe press store in conjuction with their larger store.

Updates coming on both these things next week. But, post about the book anywhere comic readers post. Thanks. :)

-Ed”
MRL
January 16th, 2010 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

Before FOOB became ReFOOB, we all wondered why Johnston thought Andrew was such perfect husband material when all her sane readership thought he was the intersection of Creepy Street and Bland Boulevard. Now, with our stomachs reeling in disgust, we know the reason: She’s a mustache fetishist.
Ed Dravecky
January 16th, 2010 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp: It’s very bold of today’s strip to show that much sweaty male contact with the unsubtle “M2M” code displayed across their jerseys. Next week, “Two Gils, One Cup”.
Dragon of Life
January 16th, 2010 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

I admire A3G for its unabashed literalness. When Tommie sucks all the color out of the room, by gum, you’ll have no doubts otherwise!
Stu
January 16th, 2010 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

“What’s the worst that can happen?” that’s a great question from a woman who walks around New York with bits of used Kleenex woven into her hair.
Charterstoned
January 16th, 2010 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

MW – I don’t think the pompadoured rival has anything to do with Wilbur’s misery. Instead of pointing fingers at Richy Rich, Wilbur should be checking out the person who snapped all of those photos. Was it some geeky pal with a camera who always tagged along on their dates, just in case the moment needed to be preserved on film, who secretly lusted after Abby? Or was he, indeed, a pal who secretly lusted after Wilbur, a college man too besotted with man-love to see Future Wilbur as the combed-over piece of blubber in a matching jacket and hat ensemble that we have all come to know and love? Because, believe me, that’s your man!
Amateur
January 16th, 2010 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

ACK! I had to go and read “Curtis.” And yet again a comic strip artist demonstrates a total LACK of understanding of skating. Going pro wouldn’t pay enough because YOU’VE NEVER SKATED AS AN OLYMPIC-ELIGIBLE SKATER, genius, so no one would know who the heck you were. *facepalm*
bman
January 16th, 2010 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

FOOB: I guess it’s too bad she never met General Halftrack, who I’m sure has the saltiest mustache on the comics page.
R. Riis
January 16th, 2010 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Phil drinks a lot of margueritas, right? Please say that I am right. Please.
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 16th, 2010 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

Josh, I think what you meant to say was “because you too can fall victim to the heartbreak of RBS.”
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 16th, 2010 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

#22 MRL,
Must be why Dabney Coleman’s lawyer had to send that cease and desist letter.
Thomas B.
January 16th, 2010 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

Salt on his mustache? I suppose if you kissed him right after he went down on you. Oh God, I made this more disgusting than it already was.
Thomas B.
January 16th, 2010 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

Na na na na na na na na Halftrack
Na na na na na na na na Halftrack
Halftack, Halftrack, Halftrack
Na na na na na na na na na na na
HALFTRACK!!
commodorejohn
January 16th, 2010 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

Ruby’s ribbons seem to be getting larger of late. Is she just snatching whatever pieces of fabric she can find and weaving them into her hair? Does this have something to do with Lyle? We need a Mark Trail Sunday special on her mating rituals.
Mr. Paul Maul
January 16th, 2010 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

As a self-help semi-professional, I would like to thank you for drawing attention to Random Bolding Syndrome. Love it.
ms. docweasel
January 16th, 2010 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

When I see a guy with a mustache I immediately suspect he’s probably gay. Sorry, but in my experience, every guy I see who has a mustache is usually gay, or at least latently so. So the “salty mustache” takes on a whole new meaning, and it’s not an attractive one.
dreadedcandiru2
January 16th, 2010 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

Canadian Zombie, The Rant: Connie’s revolting fixation on mustaches, salty or otherwise, is only a symptom of what’s wrong with the re-do. The original version was much easier on the eyes. What had happened is that Connie and Phil had, to expand upon Lynn’s bizarre slang, gone so far roadside, they wound up in another time zone. It was understandable, if not acceptable, that a woman reeling from a bitter divorce would have some sort of fantasy about the friendly face that made her New Years’ Eve special; about a month afterward, she came up with an excuse to maybe run into him in hopes of starting something only to come up empty-handed. It was a mildly depressing tale of a damaged and slightly dim woman getting burned by an immature cad. Lynn’s changes to the plot have, in her attempt to make Connie more pathetic and Phil less principled, sort of backfired. Just as she turned Michael’s overbearing mother-in-law into a folk hero, she’s turning Connie into what Tvtropes calls a love freak and what a psychiatrist would call an erotomaniac. It looks as if she’s convinced herself that the way he dots his I’s when he writes “What does it take to get rid of you, you parasite? Tweezers and a match?” is code for “I want to be your love slave!!” The thing is that Lynn still thinks it’s “Poor, vulnerable Connie is being taken for a ride by a cheating cheater who cheats.” The way she’s writing it, though, makes it look like a poor slob jazz cat who got in over his head is being chased by an oversexed maniac who thinks with her mommy-parts.
bats :[
January 16th, 2010 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

@Jamus The Bartender (#14): I thought it was one of the specialty drinks at your tavern, Jamus. “The Salty Moustache”…maybe any cocktail meant to be enjoyed whilst a pretzel is fitted onto one’s nose.

It could also be that new upstart seafood bistro in Santa Royale IN DIRECT COMPETITION with the Bum Boat! Heresy!
Carly
January 16th, 2010 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

My friend recently emailed me a link to what we then mistakenly believed was the worst sex (related) scene ever written. After that Foob panel, though, I can honestly say: ewwwwww. And also, that it might be the worst sex-related scene ever.
beanwean
January 16th, 2010 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

I’ve insisted that my husband be clean shaven until I can get the salty mustache reference out of my mind. That should only take thirty years or so, right?
Steve the Pocket
January 16th, 2010 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

@Amateur (#27): Bill Watterson once said one great thing about writing a comic strip about a kid is not having to know much more than a kid would. And you have to admit, Curtis probably wouldn’t know the first thing about professional skating.
True Fable
January 16th, 2010 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

#21 Ed Power – YAY!! It’s on my Wish List!
Indie Chik
January 16th, 2010 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

That mustache comment seems to indicate that she’s fantasizing about a Dirty Sanchez. Or, pardon me, this is Canada, so that would be a Dirty Saint-Chez.
Calico
January 16th, 2010 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

@Indie Chik (#43):
“And they called it
Mustache Looooove…”
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
January 16th, 2010 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#31): as did Wilfred Brimley.
CupOJoe
January 16th, 2010 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

That wasn’t salt, and it wasn’t his mustache.
DavidMac
January 16th, 2010 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

BeetleBailey: Yes, it’s sad that Halftrack only made O-7 (Brigadier General). And as for the thought of getting 146 more stars on his collar, well, he isn’t even wearing his one-star rank insignia today. With no personal snail-mail from the Pentagon to cheer him up, the old man will crawl back into the numbing arms of a bottle of Wild Turkey.

Very, very sad.
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
January 16th, 2010 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

that should be Wilford. sorry, old bean.
Aviatrix
January 16th, 2010 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

@Uncle Lumpy (Y191): I tried to interpret “really big owl” metaphorically at first. I’m not sure what it meant, but it’s at least as funny as the literal meaning. Thanks, Rusty’s Ghost for starting that one off.
mollificent
January 16th, 2010 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

Ooooh, a Saturday post! How do we rate?

Also, Josh, your FOOB snark was truly hysterical. Thanks for putting into words what we were all feeling. :)
Crankenstank
January 16th, 2010 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

As with every FOOB, there’s a moral to this one: don’t drive while sexting, particularly when you don’t have a phone handy.
The Ridger
January 16th, 2010 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

JP: Is Sam aware of the large number of people nowadays who don’t check luggage? Without being part of some cover-up, I mean?
Rusty
January 16th, 2010 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

Foob: Without reading the previous comments yet, I can only imagine the horror that Dingo and others may have committed in determining the source of Phil’s mustache salt. I pray he favors a traditional Margarita.
Amateur
January 16th, 2010 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

#41 — You’re right, of course. I just have a longstanding grudge against the comics for all the gigantic skating-related bloopers they’ve pulled over the years, and so today’s strip was like a match to powder. :-)

FBoFW: Incidentally, as if the mustache line wasn’t awful enough, how would her lips be tasting it? Does she have taste buds in her lips?
commodorejohn
January 16th, 2010 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

@dreadedcandiru2 (#37): I’m almost sorry to not be following reFOOB, because it truly is fascinating watching Lynn reinterpret her old works through the lens of her current psychoses.

Almost.
Andy L
January 16th, 2010 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

Is it possible that instead of having a relationship with a single woman, Wilbur was actually frequenting an Easter bonnet themed brothel?
Married Agnostic Woman
January 16th, 2010 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

If semen consists of mostly sugar, then why does my boyfriend’s mustache taste so salty?

Wait…OMG…I didn’t mean……*boo hoo hoo hoo hoo*
Ed Dravecky
January 16th, 2010 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

@Andy L (#56): An Easter-bonnet themed brothel? Maybe Joe Giella and Karen Moy just badly misunderstand the “Bunny Ranch” concept.
yellojkt
January 16th, 2010 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

As horrifying as ReFOOB is, imagine the train wreck if Lynn Johnston tried her hand at Mills and Boon romance novels.
Red Greenback
January 16th, 2010 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

FOOB: I’m no geologist, but wouldn’t Phil’s moustache taste more of “brine” than “salt”?
Poteet
January 16th, 2010 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

@MRL (#22):

Hahaha! As a small aside, it was Anthony, not Andrew. Keep in mind that I called Tommie “Bobbie” a couple of threads ago, even though I’d read A3G ten minutes earlier, so I speak as another name-switcher of really bland characters.
Poteet
January 16th, 2010 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

@dreadedcandiru2 (#37): Thank you for answering my yesterthread question and confirming my suspicion that Connie is being very weirdly rewritten. Too bad she can’t sue.
SF_Reader
January 16th, 2010 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

#36 Ms Docweasel – “When I see a guy with a mustache I immediately suspect he’s probably gay.”
The same is usually true of women.
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
January 16th, 2010 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

@ms. docweasel (#36): Chuck Norris and Tom Selleck would like a word with you.
Buck Ripsnort
January 16th, 2010 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

To let out that smart, funny redhead, all Tommie needs to do is rip off that hideous orange wig. And maybe the top of her skull.
True Fable
January 16th, 2010 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

#54 Amateur – You are assuming that Lynn Johnston puts thought into the purple prose she writes.
Toff
January 16th, 2010 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

Check out the link… B.C. got the F word repeatedly into the comic in 1963 without the editors noticing… (or am I imagining the LI=U as intentional?) http://www.fultonhistory.com/Newspaper4/Binghamton%20NY%20Press%20Grayscale/Binghamton%20NY%20Press%20Grayscale%201963.pdf/Binghamton%20NY%20Press%20Grayscale%201963%20-%205847.pdf#xml=http://www.fultonhistory.com/dtSearch/dtisapi6.dll?cmd=getpdfhits&u=ffffffffbf26dd4a&DocId=7138372&Index=Z%3a%2fFulton%20Historical&HitCount=2&hits=2b+2c+&SearchForm=c%3a%5cinetpub%5cwwwroot%5cFulton%5fNew%5fform%2ehtml&.pdf
mr 12 oz can
January 16th, 2010 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

come on tommie get a apartment with nice radiators then hang out at a cafeteria and hope some creep will buy you rice pudding
marvin – i dont read marvin but i heard its the preferred strip of mature gentlemen in germany
Comcis Fan
January 16th, 2010 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

Maybe he was gazing into her eyes while she was licking his table accessories.

http://design-milk.com/mustache-salt-and-pepper-shakers/
Henry Hernia
January 17th, 2010 at 12:02 am [Reply]

BB: Yeah, screw charity! Screw those Haitians! Don’t interrupt my alcoholism! (Yeah, I know, the strip was drawn up two or three weeks ago. Funny—but not in a “ha ha” way—how real life puts whiny horseshit into perspective, isn’t it?)

Funky Cancercancer: I watched The Final Destination (in a manner that ensured the makers of such crap did not get a penny) to see what the gore-porn masturbators were crying about (i.e., the x-ray ending). Now I cannot stop picturing that ending taking place at Monotoni’s (sic) Pizza, with glee. Maybe even arousal. And yet, I remain unashamed of my blatant hypocrisy.

Frazz (from Friday): I have a much cheaper method of testing your science, little bastard who spends other people’s money so freely. C’mere…

Get Fuzzy: You know, I’m thrilled that recently Conley has rediscovered the joy of drawing backgrounds and characters other than the usual gang. Now, if he could just break free of his “Bucky Does Something Stupid And His Dog And Human Sit There And Suck It Up” rut…

Hi & Lois: *gives Chip a tooth to match his name* There you go, you little smartass. That’s what. (INTERNET TOUGH GUY GOES BACK INSIDE)

My Cage: WE’RE DILBERT WITH FUNNY ANIMALS NOW! BE SURE TO WRITE YOUR LOCAL PAPER TO CARRY US! OR WE’LL DO SOMETHING! SOMETHING TERRIBLE! YOU’LL BE SORRY YOU MESSED WITH US!!
cj
January 17th, 2010 at 12:08 am [Reply]

One star insignia in the US Army signifies a Brigadier General, who oversees a few battalions. This is way more authority than we ever see “General” Halftrack ever exercise, thus lending further credence to the theory that he is either an insane renegade officer or to the theory that he does in fact oversee the newest generation of bizarre war games, which we only get small glimpses of.
TheDiva
January 17th, 2010 at 12:12 am [Reply]

@ms. docweasel (#36): I dunno, my dad had a mustache for several years, and as he and Mom are coming up on anniversary thirty-seven this year, I’m guessing he’s either straight or so far in denial as to make no difference.
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
January 17th, 2010 at 12:20 am [Reply]

@Henry Hernia (#70): and fan service, and fresh humor, and interesting characters, and better art. . . . .
bourbon babe, unbuckled
January 17th, 2010 at 12:31 am [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#34): Perhaps the hair-ribbon enhancement is on the advice and counsel of I Dressed in the Dark? If these are Ruby’s and Tommie’s looks post-makeover, maybe the title of the show should be revised: I Dressed in the Dark, but Now I Dress as Though I Have No Eyes At All.

@ms. docweasel (#36): Hmmmm….. That never occurred to me. Former husband was a mustache-wearing musical theater guy—singing and dancing. We had enough problems, but his being gay was definitely not one of them.
Amateur
January 17th, 2010 at 12:40 am [Reply]

#56 for COTW!
dreadedcandiru2
January 17th, 2010 at 12:57 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#62): No problem; Connie has been touched by what I like to call the Frakk-up Fairy. That’s because Lynn’s attempt to make her more sympathetic has turned her into some kind of freak.
Mary Worthless
January 17th, 2010 at 1:48 am [Reply]

my first thought after reading today’s Apt 3G was “cannibalism” and Ruby was referring to a time Tommie had devoured ( probably at Margo’s insistence ) Carol Burnett
DavidMac
January 17th, 2010 at 1:51 am [Reply]

@cj (#71):

Maybe he’s an ADC (Assistant Division Commander) or a separate Brigade Commander (normally brigades are commanded by an O-6 – a full colonel – but in this case, BG Halftrack is posted at Camp Swampy, so he probably is a rogue).
yahtzee
January 17th, 2010 at 2:11 am [Reply]

The “smart, funny redhead” that Ruby is pleading to be “let out” can’t be Tommie, so it must be some never-seen, imprisoned fourth roommate, perhaps kept as some sort of domestic slave by Margo. This is why you should never find a new living situation via Craigslist, kids.
Poteet
January 17th, 2010 at 2:16 am [Reply]

ReFoob — While the moustache is obviously the run-from-the-room-gagging point, the “so young, so sweet” so-misty part is also deeply cringe-making. Deeply.
Poteet
January 17th, 2010 at 2:33 am [Reply]

1/17 MW — DNA test. DNA test. DNA test.
Aviatrix
January 17th, 2010 at 2:35 am [Reply]

@Amateur (#75): I second! I couldn’t even read #56 aloud without pausing three times for breath, because I was laughing so hard.
Warren
January 17th, 2010 at 3:20 am [Reply]

You know, some depictions of Hell describe the place, not as a realm of eternal suffering, but as a land of infinite, empty despair. A land where there are no colors, no music, no love. A land so utterly devoid of excitement and pleasure that it leaches the will to do anything at all from the unfortunate souls within it.

What I’m trying to say is, if there is a smart, funny redhead in Tommie, I fear it is already far too late to save her.
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 17th, 2010 at 3:35 am [Reply]

#48 queek,
Don’t worry too much. His wife probably makes the same mistake.
spazmodeas
January 17th, 2010 at 3:49 am [Reply]

@Jamus The Bartender (#14): “FOOB: Isn’t Salty Moustache the name of Uncle Phil’s ~~jazz~~ jizz band?”

There. Fixed that for you.
ms. docweasel
January 17th, 2010 at 4:35 am [Reply]

re: 64
gay and gayer
Henry Hernia
January 17th, 2010 at 4:40 am [Reply]

@queek (#73): Interesting characters? Which one? The geeky loser with the thick glasses? The morally-decrepit boss? The self-absorbed asshole co-workers? The main character who’s only slightly less morally decrepit AND a geek AND a self-absorbed asshole, yet is supposed to be somehow likable? His ditzy girlfriend who can’t take care of herself? His work-girlfriend, the craaaazy grrrl who can’t take care of herself? The Hot Chick with the kid who’s smarter than everyone else combined? Toss me a line here, I’m drowning in all that freshness.

(I guess what I’m really trying to say is, don’t get butthurt if someone kicks your favorite strip in a site where people kicks strips. Also, I don’t recommend announcing that you consider anything in that strip to be “fan service.” Ew. HAY GUYZ I BEAT OFF TO MARMADOOK, WANNA SEE)
Steve S
January 17th, 2010 at 4:58 am [Reply]

General Halftrack desperately hopes his wife won’t sort through the mail and find that it’s actually an assortment of sexual harassment lawsuits, AA materials, and funeral home advertisements he actually requested.
Kibo
January 17th, 2010 at 5:49 am [Reply]

I’d just like to say that “Beetle Bailey” still has some of the best hand-lettering of any strip, especially in an era where most other strips either use digital fonts or sloppy lettering (or both, in the case of ones with Comic Sans.) The “Beetle Bailey” lettering is amazingly uniform, neatly spaced, and not mechanical-looking. And check out how round that “Q” in the second panel is!

If I keep looking at how well-executed the lettering is, I won’t accidentally try to find the joke.
Baka Gaijin
January 17th, 2010 at 6:19 am [Reply]

Sunday’s Strips:

Dennis the Menace: “Visitor ID?” No, you putz, you need a sympathetic judge and restrictive restraining order.

Blondie: You think the copier that faxes is great? How about a combination oven and fridge?
Baka Gaijin
January 17th, 2010 at 6:25 am [Reply]

* * * MARY WORTH MEDICAL UPDATE * * *
.
.
SANTA ROYALE, CA: Mary Worth has an inoperable meddleopathy and is on the waiting list for a meddle gland transplant. “Waiting” in the sense that Ella Byrd will wake up after a wild night of Shirley Temples and Yahtzee in the bathtub of a cheap motel, surrounded in ice, meddle gland long gone.
.
.
* * * MARY WORTH MEDICAL UPDATE * * *
Baka Gaijin
January 17th, 2010 at 6:30 am [Reply]

Apartment 3-G, Saturday: “…Tommie. There’s a smart, funny redhead in there–LET HER OUT…What’s the worst that can happen?” To answer your question Ruby, cupcake?
Ed Dravecky
January 17th, 2010 at 7:04 am [Reply]

1/17: If there’s one good thing the TSA has ever done, it’s to make sure Ziggy is wearing pants at the airport.
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
January 17th, 2010 at 9:23 am [Reply]

@Henry Hernia (#87): haven’t been here long, have you? Marm takes the cake as perhaps the unspeakably filthiest strip in the funnies.

Sunday observations:

PV: “That is why I am here” = you needed someone with the Mountaineering Skill Package on this jaunt.

SFx: busted. I really should have seen that one coming.

HotC & Lio: I’m not sure which snowman is scarier, actually. nice job, Dean!

’shaft: nice job on the art. The last panel totally ruined it.

Frazz. some jokes never get old.

InkPen: sweeeeeeeeeet!

Phantom: classic fan service. old school!

9Cl: more fan service, but that’s expected on non-Solange Sundays.

FW: coherent sports action! GT, take note.

MT: mmmmmm, catfish! break out the cornmeal and cayenne!

JumpStart: squid hat!

MC: win.
John C Fremont
January 17th, 2010 at 9:36 am [Reply]

MT – “Sagging prices in farm products channeled many farmers into the catfish business. Get it? Channeled? Channel catfish? Huh?”

Yes, Mark Trail is joking und making mit der funny shtuff.

GF – It’s about friggin’ time.

PBS – Maybe Pig ought to take a lesson from Satchel.

JP – Hey Beavis. He’s trying to get a rise out of him. Huh, huh.

DT – I knew it! I knew it. Battle of the Bands! Geez, I’m sorta like that Kreskin guy. That is, I make up crap and once in a blue moon I’m accidentally right.

BTW, one of the greatest things ever is sitting in a theater for the second half of an Ed Wood double feature when “Criswell Predicts” comes onto the screen. None of us were planning on groaning in unison, it was just one of those magical moments that heppen only once in a young man’s life. Even better than finding out that someone’s been tasting your moustache.
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
January 17th, 2010 at 9:38 am [Reply]

proof that everything is better with platypi (and bad puns.)
John C Fremont
January 17th, 2010 at 9:38 am [Reply]

“Heppen?” Geez, I just had an El Brendel moment.
True Fable
January 17th, 2010 at 9:59 am [Reply]

Sam Driver’s Pretty People Posse! “Of course I know that, Jim…that’s why you are going to owe me Big Time, I mean motherfuckin’ BIG TIME, dude; like every time I take a deep breath you’d better be there with a silk hankie so I can blow my nose on it. Every time I get a parking ticket, you’re going to fucking FIX IT for me. And it should go without saying that the next time I feel the need to let one of my friends beat the living hell out of a photographer, I can tell him to punch away! Because I know that you know that I know I can make your life miserable! Say, did I tell you my friend Mark Trail was flying in for a visit on Ginormous Mallard Airlines? He ought to be good for at least a couple of rounds of punching and drinking and peeing in a public park, but that’ll be okay, am I right?!?”
Ribinin
January 17th, 2010 at 10:35 am [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#55): As a person who is also a member of FoobAnonymous, getting the bloopers reel from Josh and y’all is more than enough. Like an AA member driving through a holiday sobriety checkpoint or reading about a drunk driver wiping out a family, it makes me glad to be more than two years Foob Free.
Binder's Butter Beans
January 17th, 2010 at 10:37 am [Reply]

The salt in Phil’s mustache must be from all the tequila he drank to make Connie look young and sweet.
wossname
January 17th, 2010 at 10:56 am [Reply]

@Amateur (#75): I second the motion.
wossname
January 17th, 2010 at 10:58 am [Reply]

me @ 101 – Actually, I guess I third the motion, because now I see that Aviatrix seconded @ 82.
Jonn
January 17th, 2010 at 11:08 am [Reply]

To be fair to BB, that comic was doubtless drawn weeks ago. However, one has to wonder why no one at Walker-Brown HIA-LLC caught this.
wossname
January 17th, 2010 at 11:08 am [Reply]

DT – Ah, now all the pieces are in place, and I can stop my fretting over how they were going to have the doctored Strad be at the embassy. Prediction: The Strad is set up by Chris Chendo so that hitting an impossibly high note (a Virgil Ohso-ic note, if you will) will make something happen – like an explosion, maybe. The rock band and the string quartet will be trying to outdo each other and we will have weeks of white-knuckled tension waiting for the violinist to hit that high note. (Hey, if making stuff up works for John C Fremont @ 95, it might work for me.)
mr 12 oz can
January 17th, 2010 at 11:18 am [Reply]

mary worth – the dock is slowly disappearing the weeds are drawing closer and all you people can think about is wilbers sex life when its obvious this story is a remake of a 1950s sci fi classic like the creeping terror
wossname
January 17th, 2010 at 11:20 am [Reply]

I’ve spent too much time lately trying to decide if it’s possible that MW is meant to work on both the nonironic and ironic levels, as has been suggested a few times in here. I really couldn’t believe it, but the arrival of Josh’s swag made me wonder. Still, when I try to imagine the planning sessions at Moy & Giella LLC…

*wiggly lines and weird strings indicating dream sequence*

Moy: OK, Joe, I had a great idea – when Wilbur and Kurt are fishing, I’m gonna have Kurt say he feels an uneasy restlessness! Or wait, maybe a restless uneasiness – which do you like better?
Giella: BWAhaha, Karen, you’re a laff riot! Let’s see, what could I draw that would (snert) complement that nicely? Well, I could have all the characters’ faces and facial features change shape in every panel…
Moy: But Joe, you do that every day already.
Giella: And I’ll have the size of the dock and the relative positions of Wilbur and Kurt change from panel to panel.
Moy: OK, that’s good.
Giella: I know — in one panel, I’ll just draw Kurt without any legs!
Moy: BWAhahaha, pure genius!

* wiggly lines/ weird music indicate dream sequence ending *

No, I just can’t see it.
gleeb
January 17th, 2010 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

Zippy: Are you still complaining about not being able to sell Zippy to the movies, Griffy? Or is this just generalized “they don’t understand my genius” griping?

Rex: How petty do you have to be to want to throw someone into the maw of the criminal justice system over some silverware?

Driving and Talking: Sam Driver, barreling down the road on his phone. When he hits some one, the cops will just cover it up for him.

‘bean: There’s always a death reference, even if it’s just metaphorical.

’shaft: I bet there’s other words Batiuk is pissed he can’t use anymore.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
January 17th, 2010 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

MT: Sure, a cane pole and a line can make you pretty happy, but for a truly great fishing trip, you need a long-lost son and would-be father comparing notes, ad nauseum, about the drugged-out town skank that they both knew in the past.

And don’t forget, kids: Always color-coordinate your shirt and canoe!

(I confess that I’m charmed, however, by Andy’s lip-lickin’ anticipation.)

SM: Well, Spidey, you don’t have to stay and be shredded; you could leave. There’s probably something on TV that you wanted to watch anyway, right?

A3G: As a psychiatrist, Ari has seen crazy before, right? Even though he now mainly ~~prescribes~~ hands out pills to middle-aged neurotics, he had to have worked with the truly mentally ill in his training. So other than flinging some pills (or rice pudding) at her, or looking alarmed, doesn’t he have any other responses in his professional repertoire?

MW: “Well, Wilbur, if you want to help, you can start by taking your hand off your chin and slipping it into your wallet.”

Barfield: Garfield, leave before they start the circle jerk. Although it looks as though Nose-Boy there is already getting started.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
January 17th, 2010 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

@gleeb (#107): re: JP—I wouldn’t worry; they probably own the whole county, and the roads on it, so they can simply order them cleared of riff-raff, with their “economy cars” and their “walking,” in preparation for Sam’s barreling arrival.
TheDiva
January 17th, 2010 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

Cathy: Somehow, I managed to click on the Spanish translation of Cathy this morning. It made about as much sense as the strip ever does.

C’shaft: I’m not sure what’s worse–that pun or the effort taken to set it up.

FW: Original punchline: “If it were any deadlier, Wally would be holding it to his temple right now.”

HotC: Good on Heart for calling it “Cerberus,” not “Fluffy” like most kids her age would have. This myth geek salutes you.

MW: This storyline is starting to remind me of Mamma Mia!, wherein a young bride who has got along just fine without her father for her entire life abruptly decides that her wedding will be incomplete without him–only even sillier and with more annoying characters. On the plus side, though, no ABBA music.
Dean Booth
January 17th, 2010 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

@Jamus The Bartender (#14): Salty Moustache is Uncle Phil’s porno name.
Orange Cactus
January 17th, 2010 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

A3G: In the second panel, Ruby looks like the Dilophosaurus from Jurassic Park unfurling its neck frill an instant before devouring Dennis Nedry. She’s literally going to get the redhead inside of Tommie out. The dinosaur way.
Calico
January 17th, 2010 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

MW – Kurt, maybe if you grew a mustache, that would help.
Then drive to Montreal.
Bryan
January 17th, 2010 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth: I just hope this doesn’t turn into one of those ultra-hardcore father/son incest stories that Dingo mentioned a few months ago.
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
January 17th, 2010 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

@Bryan (#114): I think that bats:[ already took it there. . . .
Miss Othmar
January 17th, 2010 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

All this talk of nasty mustaches has made me seek out a more acceptable example….
seismic-2
January 17th, 2010 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

PV: Wouldn’t the penultimate panel, both art and dialog, make a wonder trailer for the upcoming PV feature film Brokeback Cavern?
wossname
January 17th, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

@Miss Othmar (#116): Very very cute! Although I don’t know that I’d want to be chewing on Kitty’s mustache any more than on Phil’s. It probably wouldn’t be salty, but it might be — well, you know how cats clean their butts.
Aviatrix
January 17th, 2010 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#106): Your error, wossname is in assuming that every detail is planned. Here’s the way this really went.

~~~~~wiggly dissolve to MW planning session~~~~~
Moy: The nonironic storyline for this week is pretty simple: Wilbur and Kurt are fishing. Wilbur wants to find out more about Abby’s life without him. Kurt wants to connect with his father.
Giella: ‘Connect’? I thought this was the non-ironic storyline.
Moy: ‘Have a relationship with’? No, that’s worse. Well as you can see, the ironic side writes itself. Perhaps for the art you can do something suggestive with the angle of fishing poles, or the ambiguous placement of limbs.
Giella: No, too obvious. I’ll have the dock swell with excitement.
Moy: Maybe they’ll get that. The ironics seem to have completely missed the significance of all the different representations of Abby.
Giella: Yeah, all that research on the Norwegian royal family for nothing.
Moy: Oh and try not to make Kurt too happy. I don’t want to let absentee fathers off the hook. I need to show the nonironics that there’s … there’s a part of Kurt missing because of the absence of a father figure in his life.
Giella: Yeah, I think I can do that.
~~~~wiggly dissolve back to CC central~~~~

And then Giella got mixed up as to why he was drawing different sizes of dock or they shuffled the artwork before inking the letters, and there you have it.
Married Agnostic Woman
January 17th, 2010 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft: I fully stand behind this attempt to point out the utter stupidity of the average show on the modern History Channel.
Calico
January 17th, 2010 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

@Miss Othmar (#116): Oh, that cat is beautiful.
We have a black and white but his face is marked with a perfect white spade, just like the Ace of Spades but reverse color. His nose is all black.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
January 17th, 2010 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

MW: The Great Mysteries of Kurt:
What is he missing?
Why is he so restless even while ~~sitting~~ frantically scooching around on a dock?
Wilbur’s son or a con artist?
Acne or stubble?
How did he get that seagull to perch on his fishing pole like that?
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
January 17th, 2010 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

@Miss Othmar (#116): good call. :-)
Calico
January 17th, 2010 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#118): That, and why oh why does our cat always want to get all lovey-dovey kissy / marking right after he’s killed, gutted, and eaten a bird?
bourbon babe, unbuckled
January 17th, 2010 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

Frazz: You know, the person who tells the joke with “Henry Mancini” might be more of a pedant than the person who just tells it the regular way.
Miss Othmar
January 17th, 2010 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

MW: I like how the seagulls have taken it upon themselves to steal Kurt’s fishing pole in a desperate effort to move this plot along….

GF: Hooray for Satchel. Hit him harder!!

SF: Alice has finally gone off the deep end….
Digger
January 17th, 2010 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

Tommie’s inner redhead tried to get out once, but Margo beat the crap out of her and she went back inside Tommie to cower.
wossname
January 17th, 2010 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

Calico @ 121 and 124 – I have a black and white cat who has a completely black face (the white starts under her chin) but white whiskers and eyebrows. And her cute widdle paws are a mixture of black and white, so she’ll have a white toe next to a black toe. She’s 6 years old but still tiny (under 7 pounds) and oh so cute! And she knows it.

But what’s all this about eating birds? Birds (and mice and voles and moles) aren’t food, they’re just really good toys, until they quit struggling. Food comes out of a bag or a can. (Or so I’m told.) But I get the same yucky effect when somebody wants to do the kissy face/marking thing immediately after eating a can of tuna.
commodorejohn
January 17th, 2010 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

BBlue – Wanda McPherson: the Elly Patterson-in-training. What did she think she was getting into when she had kids, and why is she still unable to cope after having three of them? Geez.

Crankshaft – What I learned from today’s Crankshaft:

#1. Jokes about PBS pledge drives are in no way done to death.
#2. Tom Batiuk does not know what the capital of Germany is, or whether it was the capital of Germany during World War II, and can’t be assed to look it up.
#3. A war against the most memorably evil force of the 20th century is the perfect topic on which to do a stupid pun about India.

DT – Both at the same time? Awesome! It’ll be exactly like that Arthur episode where D.W. brings Yo-Yo Ma to class and Francine brings Josh Redman, only people will die!

FC – Every now and again, there comes a Family Circus that I honestly like. Today is one such occasion.

H&L – That’s what she said!

JP – Why is Sam driving to a Thomas Kinkaide ~~mass-produced eyesore~~ painting?

MT – Mark Trail in a nutshell: “Isn’t nature wonderful? And tasty?”

MW – I didn’t even know you could cradle a fishing rod suggestively.

MC – I’m on Team Nuke D.C. And Let Someone Else Have A Chance Dammit.

Phantom – Hooo, more sexy, sexy ladyness in The Phantom! I love this strip.

PV – This strip kicks so much ass.

RMMD – What is this saline solution leaking from June’s eye sockets? Is it some kind of ocular lubricant? She should get that looked at.

SM – 0-for-5, now. I know dodging is kind of Spidey’s thing, but this is just sad.
Uncle Lumpy
January 17th, 2010 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#129):

Hooo, more sexy, sexy ladyness in The Phantom!

Even as the daily strip converges on the inevitable Savarna/Diana/Hawa ‘n’ Kay prison lick-down.
boar
January 17th, 2010 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

Sunday, and I am waiting for your response to the “everyone is trying to kill Jeffy” Family Circus.
I actually laughed aloud.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
January 17th, 2010 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

@boar (#131): Now I’m envisioning today’s strip like that scene in Airplane! where everyone’s lining up with clubs and bats to smack that woman—well-armed neighborhood kids coming from all directions, waiting to get their licks in.
KarMann
January 17th, 2010 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#132): Forget the neighbourhood kids, it’s all the Mudges lining up in eager anticipation!
KarMann
January 17th, 2010 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

1/17 Zits: Why is Jeremy’s teacher going to be so thrilled to see a presentation so full of comics profanity?
dreadedcandiru2
January 17th, 2010 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

Monday Spoilers:

ReFoob: We start the week with Elly going into a tizzy because she can’t reconcile her inability to be anything other than a stay-at-home mother with her feeling that she was meant for more.

Sally Forth: Sally disappoints her former assistant (who was hoping to hear something about salty mustaches) that she loaned her insane sister money behind Ted’s back.

Cancer Despairbean: It would seem that retirement has not cured Harry Dinkle of being a filthy sadist. The only difference is that, now that he’s not the slob with the baton, he can see people in torment with having to suffer with them.
Baka Gaijin
January 17th, 2010 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

@TheDiva (#110) on Mary Worth: I can totally hear Wilburrrrrr singing like Pierce Brosnan, and that’s not a compliment. Could he not have done a Milli Vanilli for that movie?
Aviatrix
January 17th, 2010 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

I have to confess to laughing at Crankshaft, because many years ago a friend wrote a parody story for me using an elaborate series of puns including Bombay/bomb bay/bombé and many others.
Mibbitmaker
January 17th, 2010 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

9CL: With most cartoonists, having drawn sexy women is just an enjoyable experience for the (male) reader to behold (and, yes, I’m including Frank Cho characters in this). But when Brooke ably does it, it’s just creepy somehow.

Garfield: …Back away from the strip… slowwwwwwlyyyyy…..

Stone Soup: Joan’s smug tirade against football almost makes me rethink my disinterested dislike for the sport…….. Nah!

HotC: Too many Lio ideas there, Tatulli? (snark aside, this one did require dialogue. Plus it was cool)

DT: “The ambassador insists on contriving the situation, Ma’am. — and no, I’m not a nazi war criminal, why do you ask?”

A3G: It scares everyone else, too.

FC: Someone ought to play that game with Jeffy Zucker.

FW: Batiuk: “See? I can still do a joke like in the good ol’ days if I want to. (pause) Well, back to the same crapola on Monday…”

MC: Independant. Think for myself, and come to good, non-lockstep conclusions. Those are my “strong convictions”.

Oh, and by the way — Team Conan!
Rhekarid
January 17th, 2010 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

I’ll tell you the worst that can happen; a Tommie-centric storyline! I’d muster up a scream but my terror is already bored.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
January 17th, 2010 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

@Rhekarid (#139): That sounds very Harlan Ellison: “I Have No Interest, But I Must Scream.”
Rusty
January 17th, 2010 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

@dreadedcandiru2 (#135): I was hoping Connie would walk in on Phil nailing some 20-something orchestra groupie. Or break into his apartment and greet him naked at the door, only to be summarily dismissed. “Oh, thanks for the pipe.”
bats :[
January 17th, 2010 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

116. Miss Othmar: I dunno. I don’t think the aroma of fresh cat food (even the dry stuff) on kitty whiskers is much of an improvement, no matter how much my kitty wants to “share” the experience with me…
Dr. Weird
January 17th, 2010 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

@boar (#131):

Billy and Dolly are going after Jeffy, but who’s the third kid? Can’t be PJ, he doesn’t talk! Sure, it’s OK to try and have dangerous fun with your family, but inviting strangers to do it?!
kkarenb
January 17th, 2010 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

I was unable to post this yesterday because I was still reeling from the horror of it. I read the comics yesterday afternoon, after the spouse and I returned from Sam’s Club, where our puchases included one of those humongous packages of toilet paper. Excuse me while I put my head in the oven…
tb4000
January 17th, 2010 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Waitaminit….moustaches don’t have salt…MOUSTACHES DON’T HAVE SALT!!!!!
Calico
January 17th, 2010 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#128): Yum, cat food breath! : )
But really, my cat eats the poor things. A little vitamin treat, I guess. I get to deal with the quasi-dignified disposing of the beak, feet, and feathers (burial in the woods).
Poteet
January 17th, 2010 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

DtM — *SIGH.* I just got my first cell phone, and Mister Wilson, don’t be in a hurry to do the same. I got mine mostly because my land line went dead and needed repair again, and partly because other people increasingly expected me to have one. Now I have to figure out how to use the damn thing. The people who wrote the manual were writing for each other. The first line is: “Left Soft Key: Use to select an action within a menu.” Obviously I’m supposed to know what actions and menus are. This is going to be a whole lot of fun.
Calico
January 17th, 2010 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

@Rusty (#141): Or, perhaps, Connie knocks, Phil opens the door-however, only he and Dr. Papagoras are standing there together, both naked.
Baka Gaijin
January 17th, 2010 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

@kkarenb (#144): If you can bend over to put your head in the oven, you obviously aren’t a Plugger. True Pluggers are arthritic and too fat to be that flexible.
Rusty
January 17th, 2010 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#148): This works also.
John C Fremont
January 17th, 2010 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

@Mibbitmaker (#138): I second your Jeff Zucker comment!

As long as we’re still on the subject of kitties, most of our citified cats have usually just killed critters and brought them to me, I assume to share their bounty. But the various farm cats I had been in my more rustic past used to eat about half of their poor little victims before bringing the remains to the house. One of these cats, a mother cat named Timothy (named after Tim Brooke-Taylor, of course) followed me when I moved to Des Moines. She caught an intruder bat in mid-air once (sorry, bats :[ !) and when my basement was swarmed by garter snakes, she’d catch them and eat their heads, leaving the more, er, edible parts laying around the basement floor. I always took this as a kind of Colonel Kurtz-like warning to the other snakes. It seemed to work.

Kitties. Making life better one snake at a time.
Poteet
January 17th, 2010 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#147): The sixth line is “Earpiece: Allows you to hear the other caller.” Gee, really? Thus begins the pattern, which I have confirmed by skimming the manual, of telling me the completely obvious while utterly failing to tell me what I actually need to know. I cannot believe someone got paid for writing this. Sorry, rant over.
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
January 17th, 2010 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#152): They live and work in Dilbert.
AhClem
January 17th, 2010 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

#147 Poteet -
Welcome to the RCPUC (Reluctant Cell Phone Users Club). I got my first one last spring, after a change in my job meant I would be doing a lot of traveling, and I felt that people should have a way to reach me. Ironically, many of the places I went to for work are so remote that there was no cell service there.
John C Fremont
January 17th, 2010 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

@John C Fremont (#151): Oops! A misplaced “been.” I am not, nor have I ever been, a cat.
At least, not to the best of my knowledge
Ukulele Ike
January 17th, 2010 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#148): Wait, wait! Connie knocks on the door it opens, and Phil and Suds are standing there naked!
Bryan
January 17th, 2010 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

I just figured out how to make custom ring tones for my cell phone. My first one was the TARDIS dematerialization sound. I think my next one will be those cool old phones that the Galactica had. Now all I need is to get a phone call.

Speaking of cats, my 18-year old, half-blind and mostly deaf cat has caught two mice in as many days.
spazmodeas
January 17th, 2010 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

@tb4000 (#145): Soylent Green is made from MUSTACHES!
bats :[
January 17th, 2010 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

138. Mibbitmaker re 9CL: creepy like this? I gotta agree with you.

151. John C Fremont: hey, survival of the more fit. Watch out for high-jumping cats if you’re a low-flying bat.
bats :[
January 17th, 2010 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

157. Bryan: this is what’s known as “Active Retirement”…good for your kitty! Hunt on!
[andrew.exe]
January 17th, 2010 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

So ‘For Better or For Worse’ has started making it’s characters fantasize about Tom Selleck? …I can’t tell if I disapprove or not.
Calico
January 17th, 2010 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

@Ukulele Ike (#156): Sorry to sound like a dork, but who is Suds?
The only reference i could find was in this CC archive post, with a bonus, as Toby (?) is wearing a hippie headband:
http://joshreads.com/?p=401
Calico
January 17th, 2010 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

@Bryan (#157): Go cat go! : D
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
January 17th, 2010 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#162): wasn’t Suds a nickname of one of the Mgitiwacky gals? I want to say it was the one that Liz’s First Nation beau was fooling around with.

I could also be quite mistaken.
Crankenstank
January 17th, 2010 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

By the way, props to you Josh for the Gilbert and Sullivan reference, although poor General Halftrack would need another star to qualify as a Major General. He is the very model of the guy up against his third promotion board at an advanced age.
dreadedcandiru2
January 17th, 2010 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

@Rusty (#141): That happens later in the week.
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
January 17th, 2010 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

@queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando (#164):

close, but no cigar: http://joshreads.com/?p=653

Suds was the nick *OF* Paul the Mountie, First Nation beau of Liz the Untouchable.
Calico
January 17th, 2010 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

@queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando (#164):
Got it! My memory is failing.
TY!
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Kommando
January 17th, 2010 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

bah!

who needs memory, when you have good google?

;-)
Jamus The Bartender
January 17th, 2010 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#38): I’ve got a feeling it will be now, Bats :)
Thomas B.
January 17th, 2010 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

Perhaps the single “Yellow Star” is the General’s tribute to Donovan’s 1973 album “Essence to Essence” you know, because they both suck.
Jym
January 17th, 2010 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

=v= A3G: Josh speaks the truth here. I once got intimate with a cartoon character and it didn’t take long for RBS to creep in. Things got especially bad when she said we were going to the park to play frisbee. (Yes, I had a mustache in those days, erotic but not sweaty, but I shaved it off to become a Wildlife Man.)
Anonymous
January 18th, 2010 at 2:00 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#152): I feel your pain Poteet. I’m all gung-ho with my first version of some new techy thing. But subsequent versions I get worse and worse at using due to no interest in attempting to read another manual. The first cell phone owned, I read the manual, and made sense of it, and learned many wondrous things to do with that phone. But, eventually, for some reason, we changed providers, prompting the purchase of a new phone. Which I managed to use somewhat adeptly with a glance at the manual and transfer my existing knowledge. But then I moved overseas and on that new phone I never really learned any particular tricks beyond saving phone numbers, answering calls and hanging up, dealing with the voicemail. I could still understand texting, but no one I knew ever texted me. Then we moved back, I got another new phone, which I let my kid program numbers into. I can still answer and hang up, but it’s not always easy & my texting screen keeps deciding to enter @%$@^% instead of letters so my kid has to keep resetting something.

I’m sinking into pluggerdom, one technology at a time.
nil zed
January 18th, 2010 at 2:01 am [Reply]

Now it’s starting here, that was me, above at #173.
Poor Thompson
January 18th, 2010 at 2:06 am [Reply]

Beetle Bailey: “Not unless you consider bills, charity requests, and ads ‘mail’…or blank pieces of paper, for that matter.”
Alison
January 18th, 2010 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

Congrats, FOOBs. You managed to make me physically ill for the first time ever. Not even Liz an’ Anthony’s wedding could do that.

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