Archive: Beetle Bailey

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/30/22

“So, guys, it’s been a couple years and we’ve crunched the numbers and the new ‘Sparkplug’s Grandson Li’l Sparky’ character hasn’t really captured the youth market like we’d hoped. We need to come up with some ways to make him appealing to Millen– er, Zoomers, I guess. C’mon, guys, no bad ideas. [long pause] How about pumpkin spice lattes? The kids today love pumpkin spice lattes, right?”

Beetle Bailey, 9/30/22

“And what’s the phone number for HUAC, so I can report her for Communism

Mary Worth, 9/30/22

[Mary and Jeff spend the next six weeks quietly reading an anthology of the beloved comic strip For Better Or For Worse]

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Beetle Bailey, 9/17/22

God, I legitimately love this Beetle Bailey. Look at how absolutely miserable Halftrack is in that second panel! Golf is the thing he does for fun, on his day off, and he’s played miserably all day and it wasn’t fun at all and he hates it. Now he’s going to drink a mason jar full of whiskey and get blackout drunk. It’s perfect, no notes.

Crankshaft, 9/17/22

Oh hey, uh, why exactly is Crankshaft tagging along on this theater-buying expedition, exactly? Does he think they can’t do the strip without him? Did he get wind of Dennis getting pushed out of his own strip even though his name is on it? “I’m not going out like Barney Google,” he thinks to himself. “I’m gonna do a labored pun, or at least a smirk, in every one of these stupid strips. I’m the brand!”

Judge Parker, 9/17/22

Big news everybody! Remember Steve, the heroic double-amputee war vet who was Sam’s law partner for a while before running off with their legal secretary Gloria back in 2014? Well, he’s back, which is probably … exciting in some way? For the real Parker trufans? I don’t actually remember Steve being particularly interesting, but maybe he’ll shake things up in the current iteration of the strip, after he and Sam finish this elaborate social dance of mutual blame over the next six to eight weeks.

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Mary Worth, 9/11/22

Man, I wasn’t sure how Mary was going to use her Jedi mind powers to get Dawn to rationalize herself out of her rage over getting dumped by the boyfriend she never respected, but “well, we were in a codependent relationship due to our various personality flaws, but then I got too emotionally healthy for him to fix so he had to dump me, which was for the best,” is really quite impressive.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 9/11/22

Uh, yeah, going forward I’m going to want to hear a lot less about “Count Weirdly stole some top secret plans” or whatever and a lot more about “Count Weirdly has twin sisters and they keep using their genetically identical nature to commit crimes for which they cannot be prosecuted.”

Pardon My Planet, 9/11/22

Really like the contrasting faces of the couple at the lower right here: both are sexually aroused by what they’ve just seen, but she’s in touch with her kinks and fine with that, while he’s had feelings awakened he’d rather keep buried.

Crankshaft, 9/11/22

Crankshaft’s expression in the final panel is really great. “So, uh, we’re doing really doing this, huh? Sure we can’t just do another strip where I’m an asshole to children?”

Beetle Bailey, 9/11/22