Archive: Beetle Bailey

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Hi and Lois, 1/19/21

Do you think the Flagston kids are being sarcastic here? I mean, kids generally have, um, let’s say “unrefined” palettes, so I imagine they’re actually quite jazzed about getting spaghetti and hot dogs on nights when Lois is showing her clients McMansions after dark because you “really get a sense of how quiet these gated communities are at this hour” or whatever. This, to me, makes Hi’s sour, gloomy facial expression in the final panel even funnier. He hates that his kids are excited about the extremely basic things that strain his limited cooking skills, and holds both them and himself in simultaneous contempt.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/19/21

Welp, it seems Buck’s meek, mild-mannered, easily winded persona has been an act, a front to hold back the monster within, the monster who dreams of nothing but carnage. But now that he’s going to have draw blood from his finger every day … well, Buck can’t speak to what’s going to happen next. But it won’t be pretty.

Beetle Bailey, 1/19/21

Oh, Sarge. Foolish Sarge. Did you think that you could pound a man into a puddle of goo and then reshape him into a human form three times a week and not create something … more pliable, but also something essentially inhuman? Something no longer tied to a stable physical form, or to our sense of morality? Be afraid, be very afraid of what you have wrought.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/16/21

Sorry for spending so much time on the Li’l Sparky subplot in Barney Google and Snuffy Smith this week! In my defense, it’s the most interesting thing to happen in this strip in years, even if that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s interesting in some absolute, objective sense. Anyway, one effect of this whole thing is that we’re learning that the animals in this strip, including the chickens, are sapient, which really adds a layer of horror to all the jokes about Snuffy stealing chickens, to murder and eat. Today we see that the chickens are attempting to teach themselves the STEM skills necessary to rise up against their human oppressors, only for Li’l Sparky, who probably doesn’t worry too much about being eaten and is thus happy to cape for the H. sapiens regime, to bust up their revolutionary education project.

Blondie, 1/16/21

Man, when the police start investigating who in the neighborhood knew Elmo planned to run off and join the “hobo lifestyle,” there are going to be some awkward questions for Dagwood, huh?

Beetle Bailey, 1/16/21

WELP IT’S NOW OFFICIAL BEETLE BAILEY CANON THAT GENERAL HALFTRACK PISSES AND/OR SHITS HIMSELF ON THE REGULAR, I DON’T LIKE THE BURDEN OF THIS KNOWLEDGE ANY MORE THAN YOU DO BUT WE ALL HAVE IT NOW AND WILL HAVE TO LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT

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Beetle Bailey, 1/11/21

I refuse to believe that Beetle and Sarge are watching PBS or that Camp Swampy shells out for premium cable, so I’m left to assume that nobody at Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC knows that you can pause streaming video.

Blondie, 1/11/21

“Did I think you looked goofy? Well, the two of us are, what, 40? 45? Not much older than that, surely, which means that when I saw you wearing bell-bottomed jeans it was the mid ’90s at the absolute earliest. So yes, I absolutely thought you looked goofy. Or wait, are you referring to JNCOs? Because those were exceptionally goofy.”

Pluggers, 1/11/21

Speaking of the shift of cultural signifiers over time, I feel like either Pluggers or I have absolutely lost the thread. Wearing shorts when there’s snow on the ground, usually on a day where it’s unseasonably pleasant but still “cold” by any objective standard, is something I associate strongly with my college days and therefore Gen X generally, which means that [checks Wikipedia for generally accepted dates for beginning of Generation X, subtracts from 2020] oh my GOD no, no, please, absolutely not