Archive: Beetle Bailey

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/19/19

Lots of today’s comics are doing special strips for Red Nose Day, but I’m only going mention one because otherwise it’d get pretty repetitive, and that one is going to be Snuffy Smith, because the point of Red Nose Day is to raise money to combat childhood poverty and there are few clearer examples in the comics of children living in poverty than the (literally, desperately) poor children of Hootin’ Holler.

Beetle Bailey, 5/19/19

You have to respect how acutely aware Miss Buxley is of the progress of General Haltrack’s sundowning: she knows that his “I’ve been in the army [X] years” diatribe is good for a solid 10 minutes where she won’t have to do anything but stand there and nod politely, and she’s going get it out of him even if she has to wave the calendar in his fact to start it. You also have to respect the comics colorist who made Halftrack a white-haired old man in the first flashback panel, then realized in the next panel that he was supposed to be young, but didn’t bother going back to fix their earlier mistake.

Family Circus, 5/19/19

Sure, this is a cute comic about how Sam the dog fetches Big Daddy Keane’s slippers and greets Grandma at the door and, uh, takes care of PJ when all the adults are ignoring him or gone altogether, but let’s not neglect Billy’s look of creeping panic in the center panel here. He feels like he has to denigrate Sam’s skills because he’s not good at anything and he’s never going be good at anything, and he knows it.

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Pajama Diaries, 4/26/19

I’ve got a solid five months of reading the Pajama Diaries under my belt, and I feel comfortable in saying that I pretty much know what its lane is, and that lane is “anxiety-ridden parents of teens try to enjoy life but can’t, really, because of anxiety.” Their lane is not “middle aged suburban lowkey kinksters.” That lane is occupied by Arlo and Janis. Sorry, Pajama Diaries, I’m going to have to request that you stay in your lane.

(Also, the strip’s Wikipedia page claims that it takes place in Ohio, so I’m going to assume that “safety word” is a regional variation for “safe word,” like how my cousins in Columbus thought “sneakers” was the dumbest word they ever heard but said “tennies” like it was totally normal.)

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/26/19

I like Sarah’s pensive look in the first panel here. She seems to be thinking, “Wait, I know I have amnesia, but I have this feeling that I’m the one who’s supposed to be getting free stuff from some person of inexplicable means. This doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel right at all.

Hagar the Horrible, 4/26/19

Ha ha, it’s funny because Lucky Eddie’s uncle was injured, leaving hin unable to continue the violent means by which he gained sustenance in his medieval environment. Probably he’s going to die in poverty, and soon!

Beetle Bailey, 4/26/19

Ha ha, it’s funny because Beetle got mauled by a bunch of raccoons! There’s a good chance he has rabies now?

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Dick Tracy, 4/3/19

Well I for one am excited that this current Dick Tracy storyline, about a journalist who’s also a serial killer, seems to be entirely focused on the journalist-serial killer’s dissatisfaction with the nickname he’s had foisted onto him. He apparently would prefer to be known as “The Professor” because he “teaches the teachers,” which, not to sound like an elitist or anything, implies that he wholly misunderstands the distinction between secondary and tertiary education. Also, since I guess I’m going to sound like an elitist no matter what, it’s a little less impressive to “teach the teachers” when the teachers you teach are all gym teachers.

Gil Thorp, 4/3/19

Ahh, finally we’re learning what the “family stuff” was that kids were missing precious softball scrimmages for: doing “stuff” at a convention with your “family” of fellow content producers in the pop culture industrial complex. It looks like our spring Gil Thorp storyline is going to answer that age-old question: can a jock also be … a nerd?

Mark Trail, 4/3/19

Whoa, check out the quick swivel Mark’s got going on in the first panel here. “I’m sorry, is someone other than me needlessly reassuring a woman who’s talking about outdoorsy stuff that she hasn’t made an embarrassing error? And does that other person have the hint of a beard? I sense trouble brewing!”

Beetle Bailey, 4/3/19

As the U.S. military crumbles and the homeland itself is subject to enemy invasion, we’re down to our last line of defense: the troops garrisoned at Camp Swampy. With artillery raining down on the command post, things are not looking good.