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No

Cleats, 3/20/06

No.

No, no, no.

Simply unacceptable.

No.

Simulated gang sign in panel three: also no. Especially no.

Meanwhile, Rex and Troy are getting ready to chow down on wieners!

Ah, it shouldn’t be funny, and yet it is.

93 responses to “No”

  1. Josh R.
    March 20th, 2006 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    To be fair, now that “Three Six Mafia” have won an Oscar, they must appear to be fair game for all sorts of mainstream “thugs” who want to be “down” with the “ballaz” on the “streets”.

    Me? I’m “going” to go and “drink” myself a “cup” “of” “tea”. Or as we call it on the mean small town streets of A-Train, “hawt leaph jewce”.

  2. Lisa
    March 20th, 2006 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    Maybe I’m the last one to notice, but did everybody see that it’s Grab Ass Day again in Foobville?

  3. Brenda
    March 21st, 2006 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    I thought that was a cute pun myself. But perhaps I’m not one of the cool kids.

  4. mumbles
    March 21st, 2006 at 12:16 am [Reply]

    MW: speaking of gay subtext, I find this strip infinitely more amusing if I replace any reference to “power walking” with “lesbian sex” (or a crude metaphor referring to the same.)

    And as far as FOOB is concerned, I found the reference to “picking up girls” with his daughter a little yucky.

  5. Some Guy Here
    March 21st, 2006 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    You know, the sad thing about RMMD is that it may very well supposed to be funny, and yet at the same time shouldn’t be funny, and yet at the same time is funny anyway.

  6. Dr Alice
    March 21st, 2006 at 1:41 am [Reply]

    Yes, yes yes, Josh!

    Thank you so much for picking up on the weiner subtext. I read this and thought, “Oh they did NOT just do that.”

    Who TF is drawing Rex Morgan now? The membership of GLAAD? This is just too funny.

  7. Hysterical Woman
    March 21st, 2006 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    Not just weiners. Growing weiners.

  8. Mibbitmaker
    March 21st, 2006 at 3:30 am [Reply]

    The Cleats strip would’ve been funnier if she’s just silently roll her eyes. And I like cheap puns based on topical subjects, plus I’m not a rap fan, so no “No” from me.

    Cheer up, Josh, the woman in the strip seems to agree with you.

  9. Mibbitmaker
    March 21st, 2006 at 4:05 am [Reply]

    3/21:

    FOOB: The next, censored, panel has Elly saying, “Are you insulting our parenting, John?” Punchline, Lynn, punchline!

    Candidates for “No” from me: Shoe and Monty. Now, if the male bashing crapola could be redirected to THE Scott Gaines, specifically, in the 3/21 A3G, I’d agree whole heartedly.

    Beetle Bailey: Now THAT’s a Freudian!

    Mutts: It’s hard out here for a “peep”… naw, that just sounds like regular rap jargon. Okay, it’ll lose pun power alittle, but use the words in the strip… It’s hard out here for a “tweet”. Nice try, Mib, but…no.

    Zits: I don’t think the ‘angry Jimmy Carter’ immitation’s working, Pa Zits…

    Spiderman: Uh, Not!Spiderman, that’s like saying, “I won’t let us die, even if it means us dying”. Fake SM’s stupider than real SM!

  10. Frank Drackman
    March 21st, 2006 at 6:40 am [Reply]

    When do we get to see Troy deep throating his wiener??

  11. Happenstance
    March 21st, 2006 at 6:54 am [Reply]

    Ball Park Franks…they plump when you cook ‘em.

    Oh, come now. If Volkswagen can do those commercials*–“Vee-dub!! Representing Deutschland!!”–then anything goes.

    http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/mallard.asp?date=20060317

    Oh, and congrats to Li’l Brucie, Smirking Scourge Of The Lefties. You’ve not only focused on the VP’s drunken shooting incident longer than anyone in “the liberal media,” but with this strip you’ve also settled any debate about your caricature “skills” (Who’s that supposed to be? The Joker?), your sense of humor, and your hamfisted straw-man usage. Yeck.

    * http://homepage.mac.com/cvervais/MKV/iMovieTheater68.html

  12. Hank Kimbel
    March 21st, 2006 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    WTF? GT 3/21: The absolute worst illustrations ever.

  13. Sturgeon General
    March 21st, 2006 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    Rex and Troy are going to be looking for Mac Divot.

    Ahhhh, now there was comic.

  14. King Folderol
    March 21st, 2006 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    The gay references in RMMD are the polar opposite of Pacino’s line in Godfather 3 – everytime I think they’re pulling out, they stick it back in.

    Cleats is generally a cute comic, though I admit I haven’t read it in a while. The widowed father and his daughter (the one with the glasses) often offers up some touching storylines. This isn’t really a funny comic so much as a cute one, and I cut it some slack because it’s generally for kids. But, yes, this strip is a groaner.

  15. BassoGap
    March 21st, 2006 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    GT — Yes, Hank (#12), those are the worst illustrations ever. They look like clip-art from a ’70s-era PeeChee. Then again, maybe the best way to play defense is to stick your feet in your opponent’s armpits (1st panel).

    RMMD — “Nevermind the gay sex…well, we’ll do that after we finish the round of golf…but what we’re really here to discuss is how to get stinkin’ freakin’ rich from poor kids, Rex.”

    “How will we do that, Troy? I thought it was about helping kids w/o insurance?”

    “Oh, we’ll do that, too…but w/o insurance forms and limits, we accept only cash, have no paperwork overhead, and we can charge more per procedure. We’ll be swimming in it. Plus, we’ll have a lot of hot single dads…um…I mean moms, coming into the office.”

    “Speaking of swimming…let’s get naked and dive into that water hazard, while nobody’s looking.”

  16. dlauthor
    March 21st, 2006 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    Mallard: Oh, hopping Jesus. Now we’re facing a week of joke-free strips canonizing one of the biggest freaking lunatics in Congress. This “maverick conservative,” Coburn, is the same guy who protested the airing of Schindler’s List on television because of nudity, publicly denounced the Schiavo autopsy because it didn’t line up with what he wanted it to be, is so “pro-life” that he advocates executing abortionists, called global warming “just a load of crap,” tried to solve a crossword puzzle during the Roberts hearings, and was accused of sterilizing a woman without her consent when he was an OBGYN. What a hero.

    Naturally, Tinsley accompanies today’s strip with one of his reverse-caricatures that look nothing like the subject.

  17. dlauthor
    March 21st, 2006 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    Oh, yeah, and I forgot this little gem from Saint Coburn:

    “The gay community has infiltrated the very centers of power in every area across this country, and they wield extreme power… That agenda is the greatest threat to our freedom that we face today. Why do you think we see the rationalization for abortion and multiple sexual partners? That’s a gay agenda.”

    That and saying that lesbianism is so rampant in Oklahoma schools that they’ll only let one girl go to the bathroom at a time.

    And Mallard complains this guy doesn’t get enough attention …

  18. Sturgeon General
    March 21st, 2006 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    Troy has a scam for bilking the state for treating uninsured kids. It will keep Rex and him in “relish” for years to cum.

  19. fuzzmaster
    March 21st, 2006 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    Hey, cartoonists! Get your free punchlines here!

    Crankshaft: It’s hard out here for a gimp.

    Dick Tracy: It’s hard out here for a perp.

    Zits: It’s hard out here for a pimple.

    RMMD: It’s hard out here.

  20. Sassy_Rocks
    March 21st, 2006 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    Dr. Troyser Trout’s gay pedophilia weiner is plumping up as he tells “life partner” Rex about his plan for luring little boys to his clinic for free rectal colonoscopies with his own trouser scope.

  21. MLH
    March 21st, 2006 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    #2 – It is indeed – and the “picking up girls” reference does make one want to report FOOB to the Canadian child protection people.

    Did anyone else notice that the third powerwalker in “Mary Worth” is about 12 feet tall?

  22. Goober
    March 21st, 2006 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    GT: The first panel shows us why GT’s “artist” normally has someone talk about the action, rather than trying to show it. But the guy with the fur collar/feather boa in the third panel has been in crowd scenes before. I’m pretty sure it’s clip art. or, in GT’s case, clip “art.”

  23. Ianscot
    March 21st, 2006 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    Further proof of the inversion of reality: Today Mallard says he’s “not much to look at,” but Tom Coburn actually has an almost pitch-perfect senatorial image. That’s about all he has going for him. He’s on TV a fair amount, mostly because he’s likely to say something idiotic but also ’cause he’s “telegenic”… or maybe that’s the same thing.

    I have Oklahoma relations, that being Coburn’s constituency. Once I was talking about how it’d be easier to teach my kids to read coins if there were numbers on them instead of “One Dime,” “Quarter Dollar,” and so on. My relatives told me they wouldn’t want that — it would encourage world government. ‘Nuff said.

  24. Sturgeon General
    March 21st, 2006 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    Why Rex, where did you find these mayonaise filled wieners?

  25. Lloyd S.
    March 21st, 2006 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    So do you think the creators of RM, MD are aware of the speculation and innuendo here? Are they trying to provoke us?” And mayonnaise in wieners???

  26. Sassy_Rocks
    March 21st, 2006 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan mayonaise filled wieners – They spooj when you cook ‘em.

  27. Abbey the Wonderdog
    March 21st, 2006 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    It must be mayonaise, because something white,hot, and creamy is oozing out of Rex’s wiener.

    BARK! BARK! BARK!

  28. Concerned Citizen
    March 21st, 2006 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    It looks like a battle looming: Mallard’s apotheosis of Sen. Coburn and the antics of two pinko gay medicos pushing their agenda of government mandated free abortions. Is it mere coincidence that Rex attempted to bean a duck on the course?

  29. rich
    March 21st, 2006 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    So who WAS that “mainstream media” woman in Friday’s Mallard Fillmore? (Check out the link on post #11, above)

    I thought it was Hillary Swank…or Marilu Henner.

  30. anon
    March 21st, 2006 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    for dessert, Dr. Troy has thoughtfully brought along some Twinkies.

    Cream-filled Twinkies®

  31. BigJoe
    March 21st, 2006 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    #29 – Actually, to tell the truth when I first saw it I thought it was supposed to be Michael Jackson!

  32. yellojkt
    March 21st, 2006 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    Love those, fuzzmaster. More free punchlines:

    Ted Forth: It’s hard out here for a wimp.

    Bo Nanas: It’s hard out here for a chimp.

    Tiffany from Luann: It’s hard out here to primp.

    Funky Winkerbean: It’s hard out here for “Pomp and Circumstance”.

    Months of pimp-talking, beyotch-slapping hilarity to ensue.

  33. bigoldgeek
    March 21st, 2006 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    Today in Rex Morgan we find out that Troy wants to build a pediatric clinic for children without insurance. You know, so he can get close to the kids.

    So now we have not a gay golfing story, but a gay pederast golfing story. It’s an embarrasment of comedic riches, really.

  34. Benicillin
    March 21st, 2006 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    That panel of Rex & Troy sharing a hot dog: I don’t know, it kind of touched me. They have this look of recognition on their faces that transcends the hot dog; it’s a “moment.” Like when you find out that someone you’ve known for years also thinks that Caddyshack 2 is their favorite movie. “Look, we both are eating hot dogs! Isn’t this crazy? We both hold them like a dead hamster! Wow! I love you!”

    Does anyone feel this way too?

  35. Sassy_Rocks
    March 21st, 2006 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    You are right, Benicillin. It is one of those magic moments when Rex dribbles that bukake weiner mayonaise on his chin.

    btw: I envy your antibiotic name.

  36. Benicillin
    March 21st, 2006 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    Thanks, Sass. I don’t feel so alone in the world now. Maybe, in some crazy way, we just shared a hot dog too.

  37. lilybdcsa
    March 21st, 2006 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    And we got to watch….thank you for sharing that with the rest of us.

  38. fuzzmaster
    March 21st, 2006 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

    This is disturbing … and new to me, at least:

    According to a survey of libraries, the 15th-most common holding of libraries around the entire globe is …

    Garfield books.

    Garfield. The fat cat. With the dumb owner and the goofy dog pal. That Garfield.

    More common than Tom Sawyer. Catch-22, number 325; Garfield, #15.

    OK, they fudged by apparently counting all the Garfield books as one (they ARE all the same, though, aren’t they). But they did the same for Peanuts: #69. Calvin & Hobbes: #77. Doonesbury: #88. Far Side: #115. Far Side, for crying out loud.

  39. Marc
    March 21st, 2006 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    Ah, Mary you’re so nice! Referring to WASP in building B as an “it.”

    and look!!!! Something in FC that wasn’t created by the white, American man, Suduko! Too bad Jeffy doesn’t know his numbers!! HAHAHH!!!!

  40. Minivet
    March 21st, 2006 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

  41. Ferd Berfel
    March 22nd, 2006 at 1:54 am [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley – Just what the hell is going on in this strip? An escaped lunatic with a .45 has just been overpowered by an 85-year-old man and an elderly lady armed with a tree branch? Gertie must be dreaming while waiting for Skeezix to arrive. Patrick Duffy has a lot to answer for.

    Get Fuzzy – If you don’t think this strip is funny, please re-read the last 10 days. How you like THESE apples! I own a Siamese cat and I know they are batshit insane, but Bucky has passed through insane and gone out the other side.

    Luann – Why does every woman in this strip have lips except for Luann? And why do I care?

    (DT)GT – The H.S. basketball playdowns are finally over. Too bad this strip isn’t finally over. The crowd scenes full of extras from the road show of ‘The Island of Doctor Moreau’ were getting to be too much for me.

    MT – Basil Exposition must be filling in for the regular artist. The strip has been cracking along in its story arc. Tony will soon be visiting Doc’s cabin armed with his trusty new digital camera. After growing bored of snapping pictures of ginormous animals and his own genitalia, he’ll hike off to watch the ‘fireworks’ as Pappy Sam’s goons blow up the mountain road.

    Popeye – Impending regicide is a good thing.

    RMMD – After over a month of crypto-homosexual banter, Dr. McCheesey had finally revealed just what he’s recruiting Rex for; the Deputy Tonsil Yanker position at a free children’s clinic. In the interests of good taste, may I suggest we lay off the obvious sexual innuendo that implies? Nah…

    SF – Ralph is back, Sally is worried, and the strip still sucks. Get to the action already. Sally already whined and fretted enough about Ralph being rehired, watching her whine and fret about his first day back is just mind numbing. Let’s get to the machiavellian mind games already.

    Monty – I’ve worked the bar at a few female divorce parties before. Believe me, if men acted that way to celebrate a divorce they’d have our guts for garters. Ditto with strippers. I’ve never seen a more dangerous crowd than broads watching male strippers. If men in a strip club acted like that the bouncers would pound them into a paste. Ditto Hallmark cards too. Hypocrisy thy name is…

  42. Mibbitmaker
    March 22nd, 2006 at 2:31 am [Reply]

    JOHN McCAIN is a maverick; Coburn’s just a nutjob. Mallard’s latest “hero” is a throwback to 2nd half of the 20th century when the RIGHT-wingers were insane.

    Between this week’s Mallard and last Sunday’s Non Sequitur (a veritable cornucopia of anti-Bush paranoid talking points), I’m glad I’m an independent!

  43. Mibbitmaker
    March 22nd, 2006 at 2:45 am [Reply]

    3/22:

    Spiderman: Used to be a fireman… still knows a few things… like destroying a chair for no known reason (snark void on 3/23, when the strip will invariably show why firemen do this).

    FOOB: I dare anyone to make sense of this one by or before 3/23.

    Lockhorns: “I have abandonment issues. Loretta won’t leave me.” Why not? Loretta, just leave the stupid shmuck already! (Or the reverse, for that matter)

    (DT)GT: …and proud of how you talk in bizarrely gigantic lettering that crowds out the pictures.

    Blondie: Proof Dagwood knows he’s in a comic strip. Maybe all those strip characters in the cross-over madness a while back clued him in.

  44. edgeways
    March 22nd, 2006 at 2:49 am [Reply]

    I wonder if Darby Conley is trying to get papers to drop him for a day? Today’s installment is damn funny but it is directly referancing either cat testicles or cat poop, not sure which, but both are funny

  45. Ferd Berfel
    March 22nd, 2006 at 2:57 am [Reply]

    #43 – Dagwood breaks the ‘Fourth Wall’ and addresses the audience fairly often.

  46. SteveDallasFan
    March 22nd, 2006 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    I have to agree with Ferd Berfel re the last ten days of Get Fuzzy. It has been getting more hilarious by the day. I’m not sure Conley can top today’s though!

    I suppose a Curmudgeon Gear thong with “How do you like these apples” on it is probabably out of the question.

  47. yellojkt
    March 22nd, 2006 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    In Get Fuzzy, I prefer the “road apples” interpretation. I hope Bucky got “fixed” a long time ago and doesn’t have genitalia to wave in our general direction.

  48. Smitty Smedlap
    March 22nd, 2006 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Oh no — the Milford Milfs have been eliminated from the playdowns. At least now they can get back to their day jobs as Breck Girls.

  49. Justafoob
    March 22nd, 2006 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    in FBOFW: Ok, so Mike picks up Mummy and Daddy at the airport and they have to ask to be driven home? Just where was he going to take them, Chuck-E-Cheeses’????

    I think that if they ask any more inane questions like that Mike should take them to THE HOME instead of TO HOME.

  50. MotoMike
    March 22nd, 2006 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    #46 SteveDallasFan says:
    “…Get Fuzzy. It has been getting more hilarious by the day…”

    Same for me.
    During my freshman year of college, I actually took part in an early-morning water-balloon-throwing incident at a bunch of loud Sigma Chi pledges, whose reaction was pretty much the same. It was one of the two highlights of my freshman year, so this series has a special poignancy for me.

  51. Occam
    March 22nd, 2006 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    There was a story on CBS’s national news last night about a group of Universal Press Syndicate cartoonists rallying around one of their own that I thought was touching. Rob Harrell, who does the comic “Big Top,” underwent surgery for cancer. Fifteen UPS cartoonists took turns guest-drawing his strip.

    I’m not familiar with “Big Top,” so I can’t say if they improved it or made it worse, but I like the camaraderie.

    UPS has a story about it at:

    http://www.amuniversal.com/ups/newsrelease/?view=295

  52. Sourbelly
    March 22nd, 2006 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    Cathy: “It’s hard out here for a blimp.”

  53. Sourbelly
    March 22nd, 2006 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Mallard Fillmore: “It’s hard out here for a simp.”

  54. TEM
    March 22nd, 2006 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    Re #49:

    Today’s strip may seem to be a bit of a stretch, but it made me laugh out loud because I have the same friggin’ conversation with my mother every friggin’ time my sister or I take her anywhere. She worries that she’s being a bother because she doesn’t drive. She frets that “we must have better things to do.” She holds out on telling us everywhere she needs to go because she doesn’t “want to use up the gas.” It drives me and my sister up a wall. Curiously, she doesn’t do this with my sister’s boyfriend or my cousins. I’ve tried to find out what secret they possess or vaccine they took that helps them avoid this nonsense, but they ain’t telling. Damn them.

    Our replies of, “It’s no trouble,” eventually come out dripping like Margo’s response bubble in today’s A3G, whicn leads to another level in the neverending circle of guilt. That bubble has to be the coolest image I’ve ever seen in that strip.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/comics/king.htm?name=Apartment_3-G

  55. juggernaut
    March 22nd, 2006 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    Get Fuzzy – dialogue ripped off from Good Will Hunting + cat defecation = COMEDY GOLD.

  56. Sassy_Rocks
    March 22nd, 2006 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    The 30 something profile Rusty in panel one sure looks a lot older than the Dondi-like prepubescent child Rusty in panel 3. That is some great dialogue, too. It really lets the reader know who’s who, much like the old “It’s your editor, Bill Ellis from Woods and Wildlife Magazine on the phone for you, Mark”.

    It didn’t take Mary Worth very long to catch on to that hip exercise slang “feeling the burn”. No pain no gain, Mary.

  57. Howard Erk
    March 22nd, 2006 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    During my freshman year of college, I actually took part in an early-morning water-balloon-throwing incident at a bunch of loud Sigma Chi pledges, whose reaction was pretty much the same. It was one of the two highlights of my freshman year, so this series has a special poignancy for me.

    Now I get it. Get Fuzzy is stupid un-funny frat boy attempts at humor.

    Hilarious

  58. Harry Worth
    March 22nd, 2006 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    “feeling the burn”?

    would that be rug burn, Mary?

  59. dlauthor
    March 22nd, 2006 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Fuzzy: Yay for the broken English of the dumb dog Bucky’s been tormenting (I like to think of him as Howard Erk — ours, not the Foob one, although there may be little difference). That makes today’s strip.

    Mallard: Bite me, Tinsley.

    Monty: My favorite facial expression in this strip is in the final panel: the wall-eyed, somewhat deranged grin on the leftmost woman. Usually this is seen in this strip on the faces of malicious and somewhat dim children who torment the adult characters.

    Arlo & Janis: Laughed out loud at today’s gag. Yes, folks, it _is_ possible to do a Wacky Modern Technology joke in a comic strip and make it entertaining.

    Pluggers: OK, here’s an example of why I loathe this comic with every fiber of my being. Since when did “dinner and a movie” become something that required a Plugger equivalent? Seriously. I need to know this. Am I being a latte-sippin’ homo liberal whenever I go outside my freaking house now?

  60. rich
    March 22nd, 2006 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    54: Margo’s snappy comeback today was literally dripping with sarcasm.

  61. lilybdcsa
    March 22nd, 2006 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    Is Mallard Fillmore suppose to be a duck or a loon?….’cause he’s looking pretty loonish to me.

    They’ll Do It Everytime today had me rolling my eyes until I thought they’d pop out of my head. How else is one suppose to eat eggs unless they’re cut up? Maybe the idea is to leave them in pristine sunnyside-upishness and just swallow them whole. *rolls eyes some more* Ow!

  62. Goober
    March 22nd, 2006 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    #60. Or in the words of Kelly Stirling, from building B, figuratively and literally.

    GT: Wow, the playdowns are over! The moral is : Never have a homeless player on your team, they’ll just bring you down.

  63. Concerned Citizen
    March 22nd, 2006 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    #39 – Uh…hate to say this but Sudoku was invented in the US around 1970 or so. Maybe by a white man, though I don’t know. It became popular in Japan and made a triumphal re-entry. Sort of like Jimi Hendrix, except he wasn’t a white man. Well, Les Paul was…er, I forgot where I’m going with this…

  64. brendan
    March 22nd, 2006 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    FOOB Post Here. Yes, i know it’s shameless blogwhoring.
    But it is also historic: the post also includes the first time that Ziggy has actually been funny. Plus, lots of half-naked Yenny. Am I the only one who “reads” that strip (and I mean “reads” in the same sense that I “read” Hustler for the articles).

  65. MotoMike
    March 22nd, 2006 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    Howard, Howard …
    You didn’t have the curiousity to ask what the other highlight of my freshman year was?
    However … there’s no intrinsic reason why you should find Get Fuzzy funny. Seriously, what do you find funny and why?

  66. 420
    March 22nd, 2006 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    Howard Erk forgot the J.

  67. Howard Erk
    March 22nd, 2006 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    Nope, got a J right here with my buddy Rex.

    As for strips that are funny now, they are few and far between. Nobody has consistency anymore. Calvin and Hobbes had it. So did The Far Side. And before his brain rotted on religion, Johnny Hart was brilliant.

    Get Fuzzy??? As funny as a food fight in the quad.

    Yawn.

  68. Donut
    March 22nd, 2006 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    I’m not familiar with “Big Top,” so I can’t say if they improved it or made it worse, but I like the camaraderie.

    UPS has a story about it at:

    http://www.amuniversal.com/ups/newsrelease/?view=295

    #51: Thanks for the link.

    I read “Big Top” regularly (sometimes pretty twisted humor) and I noticed the switch, but I just figured it was one of those “cross-overs” that cartoonists do sometimes.

    They’ve all managed to do fairly well–even Jim Davis and Scott Stantis managed not to suck too much. Some of them are truly inspired, like Ruben “Tom the Dancing Bug” Bolling’s take on the strip. Even better that they were pitching in to help out.

  69. Baseball babe
    March 22nd, 2006 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    And, to top it off…it’s not even funny.

  70. dimestore lipstick
    March 22nd, 2006 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    lilybdcsa

    They’ll Do It Every Time struck me as strange, too. Strange disconnect in the thought process that came up with that joke.

    Isn’t it a bit like saying it’s okay to serve hamburger to a man who ordered a steak, because he’s just going to chew it up anyway?

  71. Library Cat
    March 22nd, 2006 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    #65

    MotoMike, I’ve got the curiousity, being a cat and all. What was the the other highlight of your freshman year?

    A3G Is it wrong that I’m loving Margo a little bit today? If she could go around heaping her abuse on people who deserve it instead of her sad roommates this could be a helluva soap strip.

    MW: What was the unidentified powerwalking woman inspired to be? A mannequin? No wonder she was worn out, it is hard to walk without joints.

  72. Library Cat
    March 22nd, 2006 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    # 71
    Sorry, forgot to put in the link:

    http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/mary.asp

    see Panel 2. Maybe she’s actually Full-Figure Barbie instead.

  73. BassoGap
    March 22nd, 2006 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    Nevermind the mostly-imagined gay subtext to RMMD or MW…take a look at today’s Medium Large:

    http://www.drinkatwork.com/mediumlarge.html

    a little duck-on-coyote action? somebody had better call Rick Santorum…

  74. Happenstance
    March 22nd, 2006 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    http://www.comics.com/comics/jumpstart/archive/jumpstart-20060321.html

    “Jump Start:” It’s not often a newspaper strip actually startles me (in a good way). I actually swore out loud while reading it…

    “Get Fuzzy:” The way Soapy talks and the way Bucky is standing in the last panel had me laughing out loud, which also doesn’t happen that often with a newspaper strip anymore…

  75. Sassy_Rocks
    March 22nd, 2006 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    I respect Howard Erk’s take on things even if I don’t necessarily agree with all his jaded opinions. Humor is strictly subjective. He disses everything consistently so there is no waffling, just steadfast resolute negativity.

    Howard Erk, do you read any soaps besides, FBOFW? There really is a lot of good humor in them, albeit inane, mindless humor, but humor nonetheless. Mark Trail and Mary Worth are numbers one and two in the mindless inanity competition.

  76. Mysterio
    March 22nd, 2006 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    #73-Given the theme of this weeks MF, wouldn’t it be better to contact Tom Coburn? He’d be upset to-more homer-sexuals in today’s society?

    On another note, something that’s bugging be about Luann. What sort of Goth girl would lower herself to hanging out with a shallow, ditzy cheerleader like Tiffany? And since when do shallow, ditzy cheerleaders hang out with “freaks” like Krystal? Does Evans know anything about high school society?

  77. MotoMike
    March 22nd, 2006 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    Library Cat, I can’t say specifically because it might lead some of the more impressionable members of this forum into evil habits. By the way, do you remember that scene from “Animal House” where Tom Hulce compares the structure of the solar system to the structure of an atom?

  78. Mibbitmaker
    March 22nd, 2006 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    #71: Margo Magee, the non-violent Everett True. I like it!

    Actually, I was worried that margo’s speech balloon was going to stab that poor couple in the background. If it was MT perspective, that is.

    Then it’d be no more non-violent, no more abuse on people who deserve it.

  79. dlauthor
    March 22nd, 2006 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    75: Why should we respect Howard Erk, again? Because every opinion is valid? Feh. The vast majority of his posts appear to be of the wet-blanket, “the comic you like isn’t funny” variety. In olden days, he would have been called a troll. We have a guy like him at my office, whom you can count on to say something disparaging about anything you say you enjoy. No one cares about his opinion any more. Howard’s bound for the same dark hole, if he isn’t there already.

  80. Fred P.
    March 22nd, 2006 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    Personally, I think the only one bound for a dark hole is Rex Morgan, M.D.

  81. Marc
    March 22nd, 2006 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    I like how Mary is not afraid to flash those catchy gang symbols.

    Damn, what I would give to see her go back to the women’s shelter and see her flash “Charterstone Biiiiyatcchh” at the Jaundiced man.

  82. Hank Kimbel
    March 22nd, 2006 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    Nicely done, Fred P.

  83. edgeways
    March 22nd, 2006 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    As for strips that are funny now, they are few and far between. Nobody has consistency anymore. Calvin and Hobbes had it. So did The Far Side. And before his brain rotted on religion, Johnny Hart was brilliant.

    Ah, how very, ur band suxs. Kids these days… when I was young we had real comics!

    If you don’t enjoy it why read ‘em?

  84. 420
    March 23rd, 2006 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    “Nope, got a J right here with my buddy Rex”

    You have no buddies.

  85. dimestore lipstick
    March 23rd, 2006 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    I was ready to be all down on Pastis for running another good gag into the ground–but this storyline is maintaining the funny pretty nicely. And seeing after Jeremy in that last panel, now I don’t want him to stop.

  86. dimestore lipstick
    March 23rd, 2006 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    Pardon my dyslectic moment. That was supposed to be “after seeing”, not “seeing after”.

  87. april glaspie
    March 25th, 2006 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    At the risk of sounding serious, or like I care, about anything or anybody, what Dr. Bruce is talking about, people with the means to do so taking care of people that don’t, well that seems like a very good thing. I don’t know whether or not Rex Morgan, MD agrees, but I figure everybody has an obligation to take care of everybody else. Is what’s so funny ’bout peace, love and understanding stupid or smart? Something about democracy, being an American. This strikes me as very strange in comics.

    All of that aside, isn’t it a concern that Milford has become Loserville? They mever win in the playdowns. What in the world are playdowns? Anybody ever been in those as opposed to playoffs? Will Milford ever win again? Reminds me of the David Letterman German Shephard. When will the folks with the food return?

  88. Frankie Machine
    March 27th, 2006 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    I discovered this site today.

    I thought I was on to something over at my blog, but the community and commentary here leaves me humbled.

  89. DocForbin
    May 24th, 2007 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    This is why Cleats is not funny because every fucking joke in that strip deals with soccer, which I will say for the goddamn umpteenth time is a sport NOBODY IN THIS COUNTRY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!

    I continue to be pissed off at Glens Falls [NY] Post-Star Editor-in-Chief Ken Tingley for dropping Funky Winkerbean (which will always be infinitely funnier than Cleats) in favor of Cleats all at the insistence of his bratty soccer-loving eight-year-old kid. Jokes about Lisa Moore dying from breast cancer will always be funnier than jokes about a sport that will never overtake baseball as the national pastime because it’s dull, boring and nobody scores during it most of the time.

    And I will continue to rant and rave here about it until asshole Tingley brings back Funky Winkerbean.

    DEATH TO CLEATS!!!!!!!!!!

    LONG LIVE FUNKY WINKERBEAN!!!!!!!!!!

    BRING BACK FUNKY WINKERBEAN TO THE GLENS FALLS [NY] POST-STAR NOW!!!!!!!!!! @-0

  90. Roger M. Wilcox
    June 11th, 2013 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    WAAAAAAAAAIT a minute … since when do you use the same pump to inflate soccer balls that you do for bicycle tires? They don’t operate in the same pressure range, and they don’t even have the same kind of nozzle! I call shenanigans!

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