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Metapost: Comments of the who knows how long

Yes, your comments of the week are here! Or, more accurately, your comments of the last couple weeks, collected at various times by me and Uncle Lumpy, with significant gaps in the periods during which comments were being monitored for funniness. But still, I think you will appreciate them! Here the comment out of this batch judged most worthy:

“Aw, c’mon, nobody in Hootin’ Holler has ever heard of — much less seen or eaten — an avocado. And if by chance they had, they’d spell it ‘avercodder.’” –jvwalt

And your very funny runners up!

“I’m intrigued by the emptiness of the upper calendar page, which would ordinarily contain a picture of some kind. I was going to make a joke about this, but now I realize that it is in fact a photograph of the gleaming white, featureless background we often see in the Family Circus universe, which is what the Keanes know as ‘scenery.’” –Poor Thompson

“In twenty years, which of these two will have a better head of hair, even when she’s dead?” –True Fable

A3G: This strip is nothing more than an ongoing and perpetual sequence of random and disappointing encounters. Exactly like my life, now that I think about it.” –A. Weldon Berger

Is that really a gun, or are you just trying to arouse me? Because I have to warn you, only a prescription card will do that.” –bunivasal

“‘Sorry mommy. I didn’t dream about you last night.’ ‘Well, that explains the dry sheets!’” –SF_Reader

Dick Tracy — “Isn’t this always how it goes? You want someone to die, and then when they finally do it’s not as great as you’d hoped.”–TheDiva

Between Friends — “It’s like the Canadian Andy Capp, with coffee instead of Guinness and griping instead of fistfights.” –Rusty

Captain Savarna, Pirate Hunter — “This is simply the best comic in newspapers today. It’s slowed down a bit since the boring purple guy turned up, so I hope he leaves soon.” –Lesser Whark

Crankshaft — “Pam yells out another woman’s name while in bed with Jeff. Don’t get too excited, though.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

Funky Winkerbean — “Funky’s black PT cruiser looks like a cross between a hearse and clown car. How fitting.” –Hank

“This week, Dennis the (Not such a) Menace spring cleans his treehouse — but what sort of stuff is he tossing? Most of it is in silhouette, but among the detritus I see a rubber glove and a tiny homunculus! Was that little scamp performing abortions last summer?” –Len

The Phantom — “What a woman! I’d be blind not to notice! But she’s not Diana! Because Diana is dead, and this one is walking around and breathing and talking and stuff. Unless she’s a vampire! Or a zombie! Is there such a thing as a beautiful zombie? With a boat? She can’t be a vampire, because we’re standing out here in broad daylight — unless she’s one of those sparkly ones from that book Heloise was reading! Or was Kit reading that? I wonder who they borrowed it from; I’ll bet it was Guran! And if I were blind, shouldn’t I be Daredevil instead?” –bats:[

9 Chickweed Lane — “I’m hoping that we find out that this is all BS on Edna’s part. I’m also hoping for a pony. To hedge my bets on which one will come true, I’m buying a saddle and bridle.” –Little Guy

Spider-Man — “Peter Parker gets up late, fails to make breakfast, and reads in the paper that Iron Man has foiled Sabretooth. ‘You know what this means?’ Yes. Six more weeks of winter. Back to bed! –Muffaroo

“Meanwhile, I like to think that Dr. P’s expression in A3G is the sudden realization that the same behavior that is supposed to be endearingly kooky when Zooey Deschanel does it in a movie is, in fact, a sign of bipolar disorder in real life.” –Sebastian

“The horror that is Mr. Sam Driver’s pastel argyle sweater has been well-documented. We need say no more, except that if he had any nerve at all he would have worn a bow tie with it.” –Fashion Police

“I watched the Marmaduke trailer. Then I burst into furious, impotent tears.” –150

Also also! Faithful reader kanomi has created the fabulous Tokyo Sun Ha! Ha! Funny Pages with “Japanese-English” reimaginings of some our favorite comics. Don’t miss Nature Punchman GO! in “Epic River Quest.”

BIG HUGE ENORMOUS THANKS thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar over the fundraiser — you’ll all get personalized thanks from me soon! And here is where we would give thanks to our advertisers, were there any to thank! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot — and how you could be the launch advertiser for our new RSS feed sponsorship — click here.

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