Metapost: YOUR TICKET TO INSTANT PRETEND INTERNET FAME!
Ah, Finger Quotin’ Margo. How do we love thee? Let us count the ways. Or, hell, let’s just trot you out again for everyone to see.
Now, here’s the thing, kids. We all know that the Comics Curmudgeon merch store is desperately, desperately in need of freshening up. And it seems that what the people really want is some sort of Finger Quotin’ Margo product. But if there’s one thing that will bring down the wrath of the Syndicates with enough force to smash this little enterprise into dust, its me selling artwork to which I don’t have the rights on t-shirts. Only King Features can sell garments festooned with drawings of Finger Quotin’ Margo, and if they haven’t wised up to the obvious goldmine that such garments would represent, well, ours is not to wonder why.
But we can do the next best thing. We can’t use this drawing, but is there any reason we can’t … dress up like Margo and re-enact this scene? I’m betting the answer is “No”!
Yes, in a move that is totally and 100 percent not even a little ripped off from Drink At Work’s “Medium Large guy lookalike contest”, we’re having a “Finger Quotin’ Margo lookalike contest!” Just e-mail me a digital photo of yourself looking as much like Finger Quotin’ Margo as possible. You don’t have to wear a red turtleneck sweater, be a brunette, have hair in a bun, be stacked, or even be female, but all of those things will help your cause. (You definitely do have to make the finger quotes, though. C’mon people, put forth a little effort!) I’ll post the best of the pics here (so you also have to have a tolerance for public humiliation) and, if any of them are even close to the real thing, I’ll photoshop in a word balloon into the best and then slap it on a CafePress mug. (I’m thinking photos won’t really come out very well on a CafePress t-shirt, but if I’m wrong, please let me know! Also, I suggest you take the pic against a light-colored background.)
“Why should I subject yourself to your mockery?” you’re no doubt asking. Well, other than the fact that it’ll be totally boss if this comes even close to working, if I pick your picture for the mug, you’ll receive … a free mug! With your own picture on it. Just like the kind you can get down at those kiosks in the mall. Only, you know, awesome.
So don’t delay! Find a photographer and a red sweater and send in those pics!
Update: Mrs. C. has told me in the strongest terms that Finger Quotin’ Margo’s sweater is fuschia, not “red.” Make of that what you will.
June 5th, 2006 at 4:38 pm
This is an amazing idea….Two of my favorite websites are both doing contests!
MW: Shut up already! I want to bludgeon Kelly Stirling into tiny bite-size pieces.
FC: Oh silly Dolly! That burly looking construction worker can’t hear you due to the Noise Cancellers he is sporting! PS: Why is Thel letting Dolly roam near construction sites…and letter her sass-mouth them? I’m sure if Dolly got taken hostage that would wake Thel up!
June 5th, 2006 at 5:12 pm
Might the saintly Pattersons have played a part in foiling the Canadian terr’r plot? They overheard kids sayin’ they were gonna blow up buildings an’ stuff an’ reported it straight to Dudley DooRight. The evil Kourtney of bad cheque fame has been charged with handling the group’s finances and Mel Klepforth’s safehouse is where the secret terr’ist planning was done.
June 5th, 2006 at 5:36 pm
Do you get extra credit for six fingers on each hand? How about seven?
June 5th, 2006 at 5:49 pm
Oh darn. Now I REALLY regret getting my hair cut short and leaving my red sweater at my parents’ house.
June 5th, 2006 at 6:01 pm
All -
Josh misspoke. You DO have to wear a red turtleneck sweater (magenta, actually), be or seem brunette, wear your hair in a bun (…mmmm..bunssssss!), be stacked (!), and be female.
It would be especially nice if you would also come over here and mercilessly mock my pathetically inadequate use of quotation marks and other instruments of punctuation as I writhe in helpless agony before you.
But that first part is enough to get me to buy a mug.
June 5th, 2006 at 6:16 pm
I can’t find any fuschia turtleneck sweaters. Anywhere.
Pluggers- UUUUUUUhhhhhnnnnhhhh…. WHY? WHYYYYYYYYYYYY????
June 5th, 2006 at 6:32 pm
Margo Rocks!
Mallard Fillmore on June 3 – Is he really that important or is he dilusional?
June 5th, 2006 at 8:29 pm
Okay, interestingly enough, in the recent issue of FAIR’s (Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting) Extra! there’s an article on protected speech and the use of copyrighted material for parody purpose. I think you might be able to get away with using the “finger-quoting Margo” (that is, if you don’t mind being a test case and spending mounds of money on litigation). At least you might be able to tell Lynnie Johnston to stick it where the sun don’t shine (I think that’s a town quite close to Mtigiwakkawakka).
June 5th, 2006 at 8:48 pm
But fair-use or not, you still have to have the contest. And the winner still has to come to my house.
June 5th, 2006 at 8:58 pm
Trust me, if I can locate a plum-colored turtleneck, we’re so going to be seeing a finger-quotin’ Maughta.
June 5th, 2006 at 9:26 pm
Mrs. C is totally right.
All I could think of was, “Finger Quotin’ Margo wears fuschia not red!”
It is most definitely a fuschia turtleneck.
June 5th, 2006 at 9:47 pm
Granted, no one would ever accuse “Mallard Fillmore”’s Bruce Tinsley of being overly humble, but am I the only one who’s found him especially smug these past few days?
Friday: He takes a swipe at anyone who would dare doubt the word of his right-wing waterfowl.
Saturday: He pats himself on the back for being one of the few who dare challenge those dastardly liberals who control everything except the government.
Monday: More sneering at the audience, this time to assure us that a coming installment will get liberals and sensitive-types all in a lather. Ends with an oh-so-relavant caricature of Elanor Roosevent (!) And a weird, out of place shot at anti-fur types.
June 5th, 2006 at 10:13 pm
I didn’t know Eleanor Roosevelt wore fur. It’s an outrage. Someone should go SHOOT HER IN THE FACE, so her pelt will still be valuable.
June 5th, 2006 at 10:27 pm
Josh says: “You don’t have to wear a red turtleneck sweater.” Alright – clothing-optional Finger Quotin’ Margo!
June 5th, 2006 at 10:41 pm
2fs: That reminds me of a post many many moons ago, about Apt 3-G. The title I believe was: The Worst Tijuana Bible Ever. It showed Margo in her bra reaching for something in a closet.
June 5th, 2006 at 10:42 pm
Trust me, there are some people on this board you don’t want to see me “clothing-optional”. Like me.
June 5th, 2006 at 11:06 pm
Bill, what’s wrong with you, that people wouldn’t want to see you starkers? There are ALL SORTS of tastes out there. Believe me. People who even find ME attractive.
June 5th, 2006 at 11:17 pm
Tuesday — first of all, it’s 06/06/06. Cool, and vaguely Satanic!
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060606&name=Rhymes_with_Orange
And cwockydiles think they’re DEE-lishious!
June 5th, 2006 at 11:21 pm
You could always just Andy Warhol it.
http://www.shortpacked.com/images/misc/margowarhol.jpg
June 6th, 2006 at 2:31 am
http://www.mitchclem.com/nothingnice/index.php?pageNum_Recordset2=8
check out this guys perspective on family circus
June 6th, 2006 at 5:26 am
Ah, damn… I bet I could do a pretty good Margo resemblance (I have the hair and I’m female, anyway) but I am muy camera shy. Is it okay if I vectorize myself so as to be unrecognizeable?
June 6th, 2006 at 7:37 am
If you have photoshop or some other like program, you could change a different color turtleneck sweater the right color easily.
June 6th, 2006 at 7:43 am
#19: Thank you for my new desktop wallpaper.
#21: No.
June 6th, 2006 at 10:02 am
MARGO’S TOES
God help me, but I find myself wondering if the same astonishing genetic anomaly that resulted in Margo’s six-fingered hand also produced a six-toed foot?
June 6th, 2006 at 10:13 am
Yes. Never rip off other people’s creative labors.
I think Margot would have this to say.
June 6th, 2006 at 10:47 am
#19 – Cool, David, I like it. But why when I see your collage of multi-colored Margos they seem to me to look like characters from the Archies? The original doesn’t give me that impression.
You too? No? Just me?
Never mind.
June 6th, 2006 at 11:01 am
Adfella (#24) – No, Margo has only 10 toes. And the normal 5&5 combo, not your desired 4&6.
I hear she does have a nubbin*, though.
* “Friends” reference
June 6th, 2006 at 11:09 am
I was betting on a vestigial tail.
June 6th, 2006 at 11:19 am
“Wow, Margo, you’re quite a piece of tail.”
“What? Who told you?!”
June 6th, 2006 at 11:59 am
FOOB: I think it’s painfully obvious that Elly will soon start adding little illustrations to her writing and end up with a comic strip of sorts all about her family! How precious!
P.S. More information on fair use and parody can be found on the internet.
June 6th, 2006 at 12:50 pm
FBOFW-Why does Elly ALWAYS have her hair up in a bun? Doesn’t she know that’s a sure way to make a 50-something woman look like she’s pushing 80? Maybe the waitress wouldn’t assume you need the seniors menu if you let your hair down once in a while, Elly. Look at your pal Moira, Elly. She’s not sporting a hairstyle worn by one-room schoolhouse schoolmarms from the 1700s, is she?
More FBOFW-Don’t you love Elly’s littany of what she’s been up to since retiring? Okay, it’s cool she’s taking classes. I’m all for retirees bettering themselves instead of settling into a lethargic stupor in front of daytime TV. But her other activities? Cleaning? The kids? Wow, EXCITING STUFF. You clean your heart out, Elly. When you’re gone, the message on your tombstone will read as follows: “Elly Patterson. She had a really clean house.” What a legacy!
June 6th, 2006 at 1:30 pm
#20 This one’s better
http://www.mitchclem.com/nothingnice/index.php?pageNum_Recordset2=247
June 6th, 2006 at 1:41 pm
# 31
Lyman, the Elly Bun has been a peeve of mine for awhile too. I vaguely remember, around the time Liz was a teenager, when Elly was going to cut her hair and get a more trendy style but chickened out. I think her reasoning was the ease of creating the Bun. I think the reasoning was the ease of drawing the bun because now Liz and April wear buns or ponytails on a regular basis. (And it was Liz’s teasing that made her consider de-bunning in the first place) Or maybe Lynn’s evil artist minnion doesn’t feel like branching out hairstyle-wise this late in the game.
Anyway, I’m not putting down all hair buns. Margo would not be Margo without her bun. And quotin’ fingers. I am still waiting for the “Work them like a claw and call me Randy” t-shirt though and may stay out of the Margo competition in quiet protest.
June 6th, 2006 at 3:21 pm
OK, I’ve held off all day because I thought Josh would update, but I can remain silent no longer:
Bite me, Tinsley! Your “big revelation” in Mallard did indeed raise my blood pressure, but not because I’m an eeeevil liberal. It did so because it was EXACTLY THE SAME THING you were carping on about last week. Right down to attributing to the Moonie Times while tarring the entire U.N. peacekeeping force with the same brush. Or was the Fantastic Thing You Were Going To Do Today drawing an actual _person_, albeit badly of course, in the middle of your screed?
Don’t worry, though, folks — come next week, he’ll have moved on to mocking An Inconvenient Truth, because it’ll give him the chance to make lame Al Gore jokes again, and the children of the world will vanish from Tinsley’s radar again. Or perhaps he’ll go back to proclaiming the sainthood of Tom Coburn because he wants to keep the dastardly gays from marrying. One or the other; maybe both.
June 6th, 2006 at 3:49 pm
It’s obvious that Finger Quotin’ Margo and “Call Me” Randy have to join forces.
“Work them like a finger-quotin’ claw.”
June 6th, 2006 at 7:28 pm
For the record, as a former member of the sweater-making industry, I know the the color of interest is spelled “fuchsia”, not “fuschia”.
But I guess that’s not the point…
Please continue and consider yourself educated.
June 6th, 2006 at 8:46 pm
Do you know why it’s spelled in such a backward manner?
The color fuchsia is from the flower of the fuchsia plant, a shrub native to North America and New Zealand named for the German botanist Leonhard Fuchs (1501-1566).
June 6th, 2006 at 9:42 pm
#31, 33 Elly’s bun:
I sorta remember that storyline, too, only differently. In my memory, Elly actually got the new hair style, John loved it and then she decided to wear it in a bun for convenience and who cares what your spouse thinks anyway. Was that only my imagination?
June 6th, 2006 at 11:01 pm
“The color fuchsia is from the flower of the fuchsia plant, a shrub native to North America and New Zealand named for the German botanist Leonhard Fuchs (1501-1566).”
…who went into botany because all those pricks in woodshop would snicker every time the teacher called his name.
June 7th, 2006 at 9:35 am
I understand that there was a verb named after him, too.
June 7th, 2006 at 10:19 am
#38
Yeah, it’s all coming back now. I think you are right. And that makes the bun’s presence even more distasteful. I shouldn’t be surprised that she doesn’t care about pleasing John, short of her losing 30 years and growing a penis, he’ll just be disappointed anyway.
June 7th, 2006 at 11:11 am
#37…Chet, you’re my new hero. Because that’s the best piece of useless information I’ve come across in ages, and I say that as an academic (so I know from cool but useless information).
June 7th, 2006 at 2:22 pm
if you click on the link in #25, the page that you go to has a link that takes you right back to the curmudgeon. this may very well be one of the seven signs.
June 8th, 2006 at 10:13 am
Ellie’s buns: All I remember was maybe back in the late 80s when Ellie went and got a horrendous frizzy perm that only lasted a couple of days. (I’m sure I have the clipping back home in my “Awful FBOW” file.)
June 8th, 2006 at 11:20 am
Dig her up Rich! I think after FBOFW ends, apparently with the double death of Elly and John, I will have to buy a compilation book. To fund Lynn’s retirement so she doesn’t come back and to understand where it all went wrong for me.
June 9th, 2006 at 10:56 am
43:
Wanna know what else is a sign of the apocalypse? Senior citizen car theft rings.
June 11th, 2006 at 1:14 am
45: I was dead-on. Ellie’s horrendous perm was April 3 to 5, 1989 – I found it in my files. (I’m a sick man, all right.)
June 12th, 2006 at 1:47 pm
# 47
1989! I can’t believe I’ve been reading this strip since at least ‘89. Misspent days of youth indeed. Thanks for looking it up Rich!