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We didn’t ask, so stop telling us about it

Beetle Bailey, 6/10/06

For all you haters who are still hating on Lou and Kelly gettin’ busy, consider yourself lucky: we could be dwelling on the Halftracks sex life — or lack thereof — instead. This is an unfortunate topic that Beetle Bailey revisits a bit too often for my taste. While the strip isn’t generally known for its attention to detail, the look of shock and alarm on the General’s face in the second panel brings the horror home. Also disturbingly well rendered: his neck wattle.

Check out the beret and goatee on our street artist here: isn’t there some aspect of the military code that forbids officers from engaging in financial transactions with Frenchmen? Perhaps he’s just one of Alan’s “boho friends” from Apartment 3-G.

22 responses to “We didn’t ask, so stop telling us about it”

  1. King Folderol
    June 11th, 2006 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    Yeah, this is gross.

  2. Lynny_M
    June 11th, 2006 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    I…I was correct in my assumption that this alarming strip would end up here.

  3. King Folderol
    June 11th, 2006 at 12:44 pm [Reply]


    Baby Blues: #1 thing you don’t want to hear? I’m not even a parent and I could think of several other things. I vote for: “Hammie, the bathtub isn’t where you put your poopies!”

    FBOFW – First John with his love for Michael’s friends, and now Michael fixing the porch so he can get a hug from an old woman. Is he going to cruise the nursing home next?

  4. Frank Drackman
    June 11th, 2006 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    Actually if Mort Walker put any effort at all into keeping up to date he would realize that the Army
    switched to Berets like Mr.Beatnic is wearing about 6 years ago. I stll dig the “Keep on Truckin” shoes the General is sportin though.

  5. Gracie287
    June 11th, 2006 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    6/11 RMMD: Wow, nice fatherly concern for his daughter’s health! The man can barely be bothered to lift his head away from the newspaper. I guess he was too distracted by his luvah’s plight to worry about Sawah.

  6. JonO
    June 11th, 2006 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    ow ow ow ow my eyes!

    It’s all part of a veeeery disturbing trend. I mean, did you guys check out the current “time travel” feature on foobville’s site?

  7. Meg Gone Happy
    June 11th, 2006 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    So, is that a “OMG, she thinks I’m boring in bed” face or is that “OMG, that is so getting me in mood” face or even “OMG Wait untill TONIGHT!” looks?

  8. OP Corduroy Shorts
    June 11th, 2006 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    Another beatnik! Run!

  9. Brigid
    June 11th, 2006 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Check out the headline on the front page of Rex’s paper (first panel, third row): Wilson, Nolan Guilty! Is that the creators’ sneaky way of burying their signature?

    You know, I wouldn’t have noticed this a year ago. Thanks a lot, Josh!

  10. treedweIler
    June 11th, 2006 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    Re: BB–a black-and-white painting is “wild?” Or is that a new concept–the finish-it-yourself painting?

    Re: BBlues: That’s the worst you can come up with, #3? How about, “Mommy, Hammy’s been underwater for five minutes now. Shouldn’t he come up for air?”

  11. Marc
    June 11th, 2006 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    Baby Blues: “Mommy, is the soap for the tub supposed to be bright yellow?”

  12. Ferd Berfel
    June 11th, 2006 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    Sunday, lazy Sunday

    9CL – I live in Dover. The prospect of Thorax living nearby is both frightening and exciting. The thought of Edda passing through to visit Juliette is just frightening.

    A3G – I was flabbergasted to watch Margo beg for an invite but, when she mentioned business cards, I breathed a sigh of relief. She’s off to network, boys, and we all better watch out.

    (DT)GT – Can’t believe I’m typing this… Why doesn’t this strip have a Sunday edition? I really want to see Ma Raptor in glorious color.

    GF – For a guy who plays rugby, Rob has some puny legs.

    FBOW – Anyone notice how Michael is holding that hammer? No wonder he’s a writer.

    MW – The Nausea Olympics continue.

    RMMD – Rex either disagrees with McCheesey’s diagnosis, is too busy ogling the paper’s Abercrombie & Fitch y-front ad, or is the worst husband and father in comics today. With the fender bender in the last panel, I’m guessing Skanky ‘Skank’ McSkankington makes an appearence Monday. Nice Wilson and Nolan Found Guilty headline too. They really broke the 4th wall with that one.

  13. Grendell
    June 11th, 2006 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    huh?! please explain today’s curtis to me, someone?

  14. Ferd Berfel
    June 11th, 2006 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    #13/Grendell – Granted, it isn’t much of a rib tickler but what didn’t you understand? Curtis routinely makes fun of the outlandish clothes people in his neighborhood wear. This time he’s doing it in church, that’s all. He finds himself speechless when confronted with the last woman’s hat and that little puke Barry assumes the worst.

  15. Grendell
    June 11th, 2006 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    but..but…that’s not funny at all! and why is there this stupid setup with the “women’s committee”? and curtis doesn’t look as if he’s thinking anything at all. and barry seems as if he’s trying to do magic, kind of like jeannie but with a slightly different move…is that the way he works his telepathy?

  16. Islamorada Girl
    June 11th, 2006 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    BB: Once again, the beatnik distracts from the real issue. Is that a beard or is he puking?

  17. Ferd Berfel
    June 11th, 2006 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

    #15/Grendell – Wait a minute… It’s Curtis and you want it to be funny? Huh?

    Curtis? The strip about the future stalker and/or rapist? The strip that gives us some phoney-baloney “Kwaanza” lesson every December? The strip with Bert from Sesame Street disguised as Gunther? That Curtis?

    First, Billingsley gave us all that crap about the women’s committee and the hats because he occasionally uses the strip to teach us clueless white folk about the wonderful African-American community. Just like St. Lynn and her Miggiewiggiewhizbang fodder, it’s for our own good.

    Next, Barry is making assumptions regarding Curtis because that’s his role in the strip. As the bratty kid brother, he continunally rats Curits out to either parent while maintaining the “good little boy” facade.

    That’s about the jist of it. Given the strip’s past performance, you can’t really expect much more than what you got this Sunday.

  18. dlauthor
    June 11th, 2006 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    12: As a writer, I’d like to assure you that I know which end of the hammer you hold. Also, note Michael’s expression of almost beatific suffering in the fourth panel, coupled with his condescending holy smile in panel eight. I don’t know which expression I want to slap off his face more.

    But the most disturbing thing of all, besides Old Man Kelpfart’s leprechaun pants? Michael’s hand in his crotch in the last panel. Couldn’t he at least wait till he got back inside?

  19. Rusty
    June 11th, 2006 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    Mrs. halftrack looks like Sarge in drag. No wonder the General is horrified.

  20. rodent
    June 11th, 2006 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

    That painter beatnik looks suspiciously like John Walkenbach, whose blog is on hiatus… moonlighting?

  21. Mauricem
    June 14th, 2006 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    Oh my Gosh. This gives new meaning to the phrase “don’t take me there”.

  22. Hat Hat Hat
    April 24th, 2007 at 3:51 pm [Reply]


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