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Metapost: More podcastin’ comments of the week!

Your COTW coming in a moment, but first: It’s another podcast starring your favorite blogger (assuming that I’m your favorite blogger, which I OBVIOUSLY AM). I did the War Rocket Ajax podcast with comics bloggers Euge Ahn and Chris Sims. We discuss, among other things, our secret love for Curtis, and fought our way through various technical difficulties. I even took questions from the newfangled Twitter machine. Good times!

And now, your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“You gotta admire Peter Parker. It takes a lot of skill, determination, dedication, and guts to watch as much TV as he does and still be unable to work the remote buttons with one hand.” –Dragon of Life

And the runners up! Very hilarious!

Mark Trail has got to be Monday’s funniest comic strip. Look at Sassy run from Rusty and his terrible, perverted promises!” –sloopygoop

“It appears to be a fashion frump-off. Who can have the highest neckline?” –Rusty

“Peter is going to surprise MJ by going to his wife’s show instead of watching TV all night? Who is he trying to fool? Kudos though on setting the marital bar so low that any effort to care about MJ gets you showered with sex.” –Shawn S.

“‘Too close’ to Marvin means ‘within smelling distance’. So … pretty far, actually.” –Sue D. Nymme

“I’ll surprise MJ by finally pretending to show interest in something that she does. I truly AM a hero … now for my morning bowl of gin and breadcrumbs.” –Cooler King

“What’s that can in Peter’s hand? Is it a special energy drink for whiners?” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“The rain is just a red herring. Dennis is holding a newspaper over his head, asking if he can stay with Mr. Wilson until the inevitable demise of print media. Luckily, that will happen well before the thunderstorm is over.” –Patrick

“Am I the only one who gets that Margo, in order to set an example, is going to assault Lu Ann using sticks and stones?” –Push Trot

“The intimate moment between skilled farmer and nostalgic cow would be easier to bear without the two pairs of eyes staring directly into my soul, probing me for judgment. You will find none here, you two, continue for all time.” –Nachos Supreme

“I fear that the terrible green shirt in Mary Worth is headed for the ‘keep’ pile. Oh Mary, haven’t you hurt Bonnie enough?” –Les of the Jungle Patrol

“I completely connect with the Senator’s need to announce the vague details of his job. Many’s the time I stopped by the local watering hole, proudly held my finger aloft, and said ‘I delivered educational instruction to fourth graders today!’ Then an old guy talks about poop.” –salmo

“You know what would be a really funny Luann strip? Quinn: ‘So, tomorrow we’ll both get naked and I’ll thrust my penis into your vagina repeatedly until I ejaculate.’ Luann: ‘Be sure to stimulate my clitoris so I have an orgasm.’ Tiffany walks in and for some reason gets the mistaken idea that Luann & Quinn are planning on having sex. Hilarity ensues.” –Nekrotzar

Luann’s eyes have always looked like a Muppet’s eyes to me. Vacant, soulless Muppet eyes.” –Josh N.

“If this storyline follows the Trail template, the overalled driver’s next move will be to break into a closed store to get some kind of canine first-aid kit. Meanwhile, Mark will punch the horse because its face is hairy.” –Steve S.

“Since there are no bottles at the ‘British Pub,’ should we assume that the Bloody Mary will actually be made from blood?” –Digger

“I find it fascinating that the Gossip Fence in Hootin’ Holler is constructed merely by threading its railings through holes that have been cut into the uprights, whereas the barrette in Elviney’s pony-tail appears to be firmly riveted into place, if not in fact anchored in reinforced concrete.” –seismic-2

“The one-on-one intervention in Mary Worth has clearly been harrowing on our helmet-haired protagonist. She may look as fresh and put-together as always, but her usual icy rictus grin can’t hide her visibly missing index finger, no doubt bitten off by Bonnie when Mary tried to take the former’s credit cards.” –Paddy

“The letter M on the runner’s cap marks how far he got in learnin’ the alphabet before he had to quit school. Since he made it into the double digits (13 letters!), he is alternately feared and mocked as the community’s sole interlekchual.” –boojum

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And here’s where we might be giving thanks to advertisers like you! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

125 responses to “Metapost: More podcastin’ comments of the week!”

  1. Poteet
    May 17th, 2010 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

    Hoorah for Dragon of Life and the merry float band! Flowers tossed, capering, etc.

  2. boojum
    May 17th, 2010 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

    I am honored, sir.

  3. dyslexic dog
    May 17th, 2010 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    Anybody have a keyboard detritus cleaner?

  4. Poteet
    May 17th, 2010 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    Sloopygoop’s comment reminded me that LoFo rabbits are so psychologically messed up that they turn white in summertime, thereby guaranteeing their futures as furry snacks for almost any large predators with functional brains. That excludes Sassy, of course.

  5. intrepid spaniel Stigg
    May 17th, 2010 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    I know you don’t discuss funny comics here, but I was expecting some mention of the video battle between Stephan Pastis and Mark Tatulli.

  6. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 18th, 2010 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    The new COTWs are here! The new COTWs are here!

    Well, guess I can go to bed now.

  7. Ed Dravecky
    May 18th, 2010 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    Congrats to Dragon of Life and all of the funny folk on the float.

  8. bats :[
    May 18th, 2010 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    Just caught up with the Monday Luann. Quill, a Dingo hugger? Well, I guess that puts an end to all the speculation regarding his sexuality.

    (Dingo, I don’t know whether to congratulate or sympathize with you…)

  9. True Fable
    May 18th, 2010 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    Congratulations to Dragon of Life and the Float riders! Hey, toss some beads over this way! The ninja goats are going for a new look!

  10. Poteet
    May 18th, 2010 at 12:38 am [Reply]


    A3G — “No, I mean the big news that I finally told Margo off. I’ll be dead within a week, of course, but it felt great!”

    CRANKSHAFT — All this over one lousy ant? Here, Pam, have a tick. Have several. Have a couple dozen. Have fun.

    MT — It would have been nice if the vet had said something caustic about irresponsible dimwits who let their collarless dogs run loose and get hit on highways. My vet, who is otherwise a saint, would have said plenty.

    RMMD — Isn’t Brook the daughter of June’s aunt? Under what system of family nomenclature does that make her a niece? And even that doesn’t bug me as much as her name. Put an “e” on it already!

  11. Walker of Dog
    May 18th, 2010 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    Congratulations to Dragon of Life and the COTW Court on this fine 5/18:

    FC: “Yeah, PJ’s nodding off, but I’m just stoned. What the hell woman, don’t give me that tired old face – bring me some goddamned milk and cookies!”

    MT: A man with sideburns and another man with a mustache are helping an injured dog. Mark had better hope this trip to Bizarro World is just a dream. Otherwise everyone he meets – corrupt Senators, ground squirrels, Rusty – is going to beat the crap out of him.

    MW: Bonnie pictures herself rolling around with Ernie on a pile of unnecessary purchases.

    Phan: I don’t think a non-evil man who awoke in darkness and saw the Phantom would necessarily be totally cool with it.

    S-M: You know who looks good in green plaid? Former Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara, that’s who.

  12. Walker of Dog
    May 18th, 2010 at 12:45 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#10): If Toots liked it then he shoulda put an E on it.

  13. Poteet
    May 18th, 2010 at 12:47 am [Reply]


    BF — Do any of these women ever do anything that is actually likeable?

    FC — I don’t think real human heads turn that far, unless they’re in THE EXORCIST.

    JP — Zzzzzzzzzzz….

  14. True Fable
    May 18th, 2010 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    Sam abruptly sat up in his chair at Abbey’s mention of ‘leather’. Ahhh leather, that wonderfully creaky sound and the heady smell of tanned cowhide, form-fitted to her exact measurements… what was she saying about weatherproofing? And silk, hey what is THAT about?

    He realized she was talking to Jules, arguably the most petulant human being he ever saw. The lad had more pout to him than Neddy on her worst day, TIMES TEN. What a pain in the ASS. He made nice shoes, Sam supposed, but that was about it. He hoped Neddy was not serious about this sad sack. “Hello, Your Honor! Let me introduce you to my new son-in-law, the World’s Whiniest Cobbler!” Ohh nooo, spare me that indignity!

    Sam slumped into his chair as Jules continued to freak out over his creations. All Sam needed was for Sophie to come in proclaiming that she was engaged to some idiot boat wrestler from college and Sam would no doubt wind up supporting them, too. Damn it Abbey, he thought, Put down the half-assed shoes. Neither of us know anything about shoes any more than we do about vineyards or buying real estate. Aloud he announced, “I’m going to go get some cheese from the kitchen.”

    “Cheese? Why?” she asked as Jules fretted that his tear stains marred the silk boots.

    “Because it’ll go with his goddamn whine!” Sam roared. Christ! What an asshole!

  15. Poteet
    May 18th, 2010 at 1:07 am [Reply]

    5/18 9CL — Oh, this is bad. This is soooo bad. This is so awful that it’s almost an argument not to learn English. This is what Hemingway would have written if he’d been kidnapped by aliens and had his brain swapped with an alien from Planet Glurge.

  16. True Fable
    May 18th, 2010 at 1:11 am [Reply]

    The Amazing Floating Super-Villain Peter has all the proportional spider-sense of a tuft of lint.

    Forced Whineybutt I know Batiuk intends this to be ohhhh sooo traaaagic, but I am going to point and laugh. That’s what you do to old Three’s Company reruns; point and laugh in a hollow, forced way. It’s tradition!

    Kit Walker, Crowbar Ranger! “It is 5 to 10 for breaking and entering” – Old City Saying.

    June Morgan, MILF With her pouty lips and hate-filled eyes, Brooke even looks like her Aunt June!

    Fist O Justice Theater It’s Act Three: Andy to the rescue, already?!? Hope he sticks around because there’ll be hell to pay when Cherry comes back from her inexplicable hair appointment to find Mark GONE AGAIN. Well, she took off too, so she’s got no real complaint. Maybe Andy will go all Cujo on them.

  17. Walker of Dog
    May 18th, 2010 at 1:13 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#15): No men have entered it? Bill was a hard act to follow? Even the junior-high sexual innuendo is falling flat. Is Betty White available to finish this story?

  18. True Fable
    May 18th, 2010 at 1:13 am [Reply]

    9 Dickweed Lane I do believe Brooke and Batuik are seeing who can drum up the most pathetic love triangle possible.

  19. Walker of Dog
    May 18th, 2010 at 1:21 am [Reply]

    DT: The unscripted highlight of the show will come when Johnny Nothing finally speaks aloud one of his passive-aggressive thought balloons. Unfortunately he won’t have long to bask in the audience’s rapturous approval before Dick guns him down where he stands.

  20. True Fable
    May 18th, 2010 at 1:26 am [Reply]

    Agoney hey Hey HEY! Go back to the goats, dammit; we don’t want to hear no shit about farmers! Goats, GOATS! Keep your eye on the prize!

    C’haft Oh good; pest control can get rid of Ed too.

    Hat Boy Oh, it’ll be an education for you alright.

    I really don’t care about Dick Tracy, but just how does a featureless faced guy with no mouth talk?

    2 Generic Closeted Guys This story arc promises to be snarkworthier than even Apartment 3-G!

    Luannadana “Could you freeze my goodies?” Son, those cold showers you’re going to have to take, will settle that question.

  21. True Fable
    May 18th, 2010 at 1:32 am [Reply]

  22. bats :[
    May 18th, 2010 at 2:39 am [Reply]

    You know, Kit (and your devoted fans), there are equally valid adages, saws and cliches from all over the world, not just from “Old Jungle” lore. Sheesh!
    (You’ll need to “size up”…)

  23. Mr. O'Malley
    May 18th, 2010 at 2:50 am [Reply]

    Archie: I think somebody forget to put another deck of punch cards into the punch line hopper.

    BaBl: I think Max Linder’s famous mirror scene doesn’t have anything to worry about. Or Lupino Lane either.

    BF: You know, our morning lattes cost us just pennies a day, even though we buy much better quality beans than they have in those places. But someone in our neighborhood must be supporting the five four S*******s (one closed, must be that pesky recession thing), the Peet’s, the deli that sells Illy and the three independents. And that’s just within a five minute drive. I guess there are still a lot of people with money to burn. Plus she was blowing her money on a lot of other useless stuff yesterday, but these characters are so annoying I really don’t feel like going back to look.

    Shaft: Are there really people not living in the Arctic tundra who’ve never seen an ant in their igloo house before? And I can’t wait to see the pest control guy. “You saw one ant? Well, it might be a bit expensive! Those ants really know how to hide. It might take days to find him!”

    GT: High school kids taking tests? Why aren’t they playing sports? What kind of an unrealistic depiction of high school is this?

    MT: I expected the vet to say “This dog is much smaller than most of the animals we see here”.

    So Mark will go to the vet, here’s the dog, luckily she was just stunned, here you go, end of story. Wasn’t that fun?

    Phantom: Non-citizens have the same legal rights as citizens. (Old US Supreme Court saying)

    RMMD: Brook has caught on pretty fast to the concept that the Morgans own this town and order the cops around however they feel like.

  24. curlyfries
    May 18th, 2010 at 2:51 am [Reply]

    Congrats to DOL and the rest of the floatateers for all their great snark!

    9CWL: Wellnow, which is worse? That two authoritarian representatives of the military industrial complex/psychiartic fields have been deliberately keeping an adult women in ignorance for years while they avuncularly observe her virginal life as though she’s a science experiment, since in their opinion Bill was all that and a bag of Nazi-busting chips and the very least she can do is give up her youth to his memory before moving on to a sexless later life — or the fact that a brain damaged, time-disconnected mental patient is the one who’s running the goddamn show?

    I’ll choose “50 Ways To Lose Your Lunch For $200,” Alex.

    Actually, I think what’s worse is that McEldowney apparently considers this nasty little misogynistic hanky-shredder to be the ne plus ultra of star-crossed romance. Someone needs to clue him in that since La Boheme and Affair to Remember already exist, he really should have put the time spent producing this into rounding out his Tijuana Bible collection.

  25. curlyfries
    May 18th, 2010 at 3:04 am [Reply]

    FW: Ah, yes, Les – silly of us to think that the idea of actively planning any celebratory time with someone who has a pulse might occur to you. Not too surprising anyway since you expect everyone to come to you – if Cayla doesn’t show up it’s her loss, right? Not that’s a big deal in any event, it just mean that you and Lisa can get started writing that sequel tonight.

    MW: Like the economy isn’t bad enough, Along Came Mary with her no-fail meddleplan to visualize yourself into instant mental health. Well, this is the last time I invest in a chain of rehab and treatment facilities. Thanks, Mary Worth. Thanks a bunch.

  26. dale
    May 18th, 2010 at 3:18 am [Reply]


    Does AP English refer to the English class they’re taking or the actual AP exam?
    I assume the former. If so, wouldn’t she just say English?
    In any case, did anybody ever ask if someone else was ready for a test, at least after they got beyond grade school?

  27. Mr. O'Malley
    May 18th, 2010 at 3:21 am [Reply]

    MW: My beautiful new home … I can see it now … Mary, you’ve convinced me! I’m moving out of Charterstone right now! You wouldn’t happen to have Lois Flagston’s number, would you? I hear there are a lot of foreclosures on the market at very reasonable prices.

    @curlyfries (#25): Your idea of the Mary Worth chain of mental health clinics is very intriguing. “Just visualize yourself without space aliens broadcasting messages into your brain.” “Just visualize yourself only having conversations with people who are actually there.” “Just visualize yourself keeping all your personal possessions somewhere other than a shopping cart.” “Just visualize yourself only wearing one jacket at a time.”

    How did we not think of this until now?

  28. Mr. O'Malley
    May 18th, 2010 at 3:41 am [Reply]

    @dale (#26): Fixed that for you.

    In any case, did anybody ever ask if someone else was ready for a test, at least after they got beyond grade grad school?

  29. Mr. O'Malley
    May 18th, 2010 at 3:43 am [Reply]

    Either Jules is posting his new collection or #28 is auto-generated spam.

  30. curlyfries
    May 18th, 2010 at 3:48 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#27): Actually, what I meant was that the facilities will now be going bust because all you have to do is please (*) remember that you don’t need that new purchase, drink or hit. I guess AA and Narcotics Anonymous will also be disbanding, which means all the bakeries that make those 30 day etc. cakes will take a hit, as well as all the purveyors of doughnuts and coffee.

    Damn the woman, the economic repercussions just aren’t survivable!

    My only hope is that Bonnie’s euphoric instant relief from her compulsions is entirely due to the vise-like pressure Mary’s thumb has on her carotid artery. Once the blood flow to her brain is restored, she’ll be just as dysfunctinal as before. As for that touch of lingering aphasia, it’s nothing that a brand new little scarf or a nice sweater won’t cure.

  31. WilliamPorygon
    May 18th, 2010 at 4:52 am [Reply]

    Hagar: Boy, that oil spill out in the Gulf of Mexico has really spread out fast. Even the Scandinavian waters are coated in thick black goop now. …Well, either that, or the King Features colorists are just being idiots again.

    May 18th, 2010 at 6:13 am [Reply]

    LUANN: Oh, she’ll freeze his goodies, all right. As soon as he sees her up close. @LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL (#33):

    May 18th, 2010 at 6:14 am [Reply]

    What happened?

  34. Orinoco
    May 18th, 2010 at 6:21 am [Reply]

    In today’s Luann, she calls Tiffany ‘poofy’. Here in Australia, that’s an alternate term for gay eg, that shirt looks pretty poofy. (Insulting when a straight uses it, not so when a gay does, that sort of thing, like ‘queer’ etc.) I think Quill is just going to be wondering what the hell Luann means.

  35. Mayzshon
    May 18th, 2010 at 6:39 am [Reply]

    @Orinoco (#35): That, or he’s thinking “Er, Tiffany’s not the poofy one,”

  36. gleeb
    May 18th, 2010 at 6:47 am [Reply]

    Gas: The police, in an effort to save electricity, have hired the woman in the last panel to eat unneeded reports instead of shredding them.

    Phantom: “Breaking into the wrong guy’s house in the middle of the night is a good way to get shot.” – Old Newark Saying.

    Zig: No, Zig, what’s ironic is that this is in something called “the funnies”.

  37. Écureuil Écumant
    May 18th, 2010 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    Holy batiuk, look at the timestamps on the above comments — and yet we already have a full crop of COTW contenders. Truly, this is an exceptionally impressive sample. My apartment looks like I’m re-spackling the drywall. Well, that’s what I get for eating Cream of Wheat while reading these.

    @True Fable (#9): I’m sure the metallic green and purple goat pellets will look fa-a-a-abulous!

  38. Buck Ripsnort
    May 18th, 2010 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    MW: Hands where we can see ‘em, ladies! BOTH hands, Mary!

  39. wossname
    May 18th, 2010 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    Congrats to Dragon of Life and all the other funny snarkers on the float!

    9CL – Who are these people? Who’s that guy in the (I guess) plaid suit who knows (or thinks he knows) about Edie’s love life? But wait – don’t tell me, I don’t want to know. The little I already know about this horrid strip is too much.

    DT – You know, Locher, if J. Nothing is going to pull some huge surprise in the play, it might help if you showed us what the play is supposed to look like without the surprise. Silly me – next I’ll be suggesting you have a coherent plot.

    MW – Oh puh-LEEZE! As has been said over and over, Mary’s technique amounts to “Picture yourself sane and healthy and with a good job and not needing heroin. Now wasn’t that easy?”

    Phan – “If a man who is not evil awakes in darkness and sees the Phantom, he just turns over and goes back to sleep.” –New jungle saying

  40. TheMagicMel
    May 18th, 2010 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    Realizing how behind I am in making this statement:

    A whole week of logs falling over? Fuck you, Crankshaft. I have better ways to waste my time.

  41. AhClem
    May 18th, 2010 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    ReFOOB – Jon is an arrogant, chauvanistic douchebag, 63,682nd edition.

  42. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 18th, 2010 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    link says it all. video of adorable bebeh otters.

    Snark-wise, I’m braindead.

  43. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 18th, 2010 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    Hey, I’m awake now. Congrats to the floaters!

    Bizarro – I invented 2D glasses years ago. It was simple, really: one lens is opaque. Not even patentable.

    Crock – Oh, that Lucky Eddie! Always saying something inappropriate!

    Luann – If looks could freeze goodies, Quill’s would be frozen already.

    Mary – “This is not my beautiful home! You are not my beautiful husband!” Sane as she ever was. Sane as she ever was.

  44. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 18th, 2010 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    Zippy – A donut for cuddling purposes? And what if it’s… rolling?

    @True Fable (#16): I’m guessing Pete’s looking down at the floor, saying “Hey! It’s one of those new nickels!”

    @20: It’s flesh-colored cheesecloth over the face, which works better on the page than it ever could in person.

    @Walker of Dog (#19): I’m looking forward to the moment when Johnny Nothing pitches forward, too weak from hunger to stand, and curses the idea of a cunning disguise with no mouth hole.

    @LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL (#34): Causality loop. You are now your own Grandpa! Be sure and claim yourself as a dependent.

  45. Dragon of Life
    May 18th, 2010 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    Good lord, this day got off to a much better start than I expected!

  46. wossname
    May 18th, 2010 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    @This Guy (#Y141) and @The Poster with No Name (#Y147): I don’t usually read Argyle Sweater, but your conversation finally made me insane with curiosity and drove me to it. I’m sure you’re right about the phrases, but I keep trying to make it some variation on “Is the Pope Catholic? Does a bear shit in the woods?”

  47. TheDiva
    May 18th, 2010 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: Unless it was one of those man-eating ants from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Pam needs to put on her big girl panties and deal.

    FW: If this ends with Susan and Les splattered all over the hood of Cayla’s car, maybe there’s hope for this strip.

    reFOOB: I THINK Lynn might have some issues with men. It’s very subtle, though.

    Luann: I thought she already did, and that was why Quill was with Tiffany.

    MW: Mary has a copy of The Secret on her nightstand, doesn’t she?

  48. Mibbitmaker
    May 18th, 2010 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    A3G: Jeez, it’s so damn hard getting anything out of Ruby, isn’t it? …..Yeah…. Tommie singing…… whoop…ee.

    Cranky: Hey, Lois Flagston…. there’s another situation you can exploit right here…!

    RMMD: The policeman: “Oh, dear Lord, there’s two of them!”

    R&R: Aw.

    Curtis: Mary Worth is proud of you, Curtis.

    DtM: His mantra?

    DT: Oh, just shut your lack of mouth, Nothing!

    FW: …Pointless melodrama, I believe, Les.

    Luann: You have to ask?

    MW: Picture yourself on a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and…. that’s what I waaaaaant, yeh, that’s what I want! — 2 song Beatles mash-up.

    PCity: Oprah’s only 3 of them? You displease the Queen of the World, o furry one!

  49. Alien from Planet Glurge
    May 18th, 2010 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#15): Don’t blame that crap on us. And we didn’t write LISA’S STORY, either.

  50. Sequitur
    May 18th, 2010 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    @Alien from Planet Glurge (#50): You write The Argyle Sweater, don’t you.

  51. Ed Dravecky
    May 18th, 2010 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#51): What, are you trying to provoke a war with Planet Glurge?

  52. Sequitur
    May 18th, 2010 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#52): Well, we need an explanation for yesterday’s “comic”. If that involves war then so be it.

  53. Les of the Jungle Patrol
    May 18th, 2010 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    Gah, today’s Mary Worth is the most disturbing seduction scene in the history of comics. tomorrow, she’ll ask Bonnie to visualize herself naked. At the rate this comic progresses, we’ll be watching Mary work her mack for the next six months or so. And people wonder why print media is dying. . . .

  54. wossname
    May 18th, 2010 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#53): Eeeeww — it just dawned on me belatedly, on seeing the color version of this, that the white thing beside the bishop is supposed to be a stinkcloud. War it is!

  55. Alien from Planet Glurge
    May 18th, 2010 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#53): Your accusation and the example you have presented will be brought before the Glurgian High Council. We try to be a tolerant race, but you are really pushing our buttons. (Each of us has seventeen of them.)

  56. Another Alien from Planet Glurge
    May 18th, 2010 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    Oh, by the way – do any of you happen to know anything about some clown who goes by the name of Chennux? He’s been making a real nuisance of himself around here lately.

  57. bats :[
    May 18th, 2010 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    9CL: why is Bill so damned important that two upper-level government guys are so concerned about his welfare? Is his sperm liquid platinum, or what?

  58. Ed Dravecky
    May 18th, 2010 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#55): Smoke. It’s smoke. The bishop is taking a holy smoke after dumping a holy sh!t which will annoy the holy cow just outside holy Toledo. How they managed to leave out Batman wearing roller skates while holding a platter of mackerel, Swiss cheese, and doughnuts as Robin pointed and exclaimed is a mystery.

  59. bats :[
    May 18th, 2010 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    OTOH, after being continuingly, thoroughly annoyed by 9CL, I’m in a much better mood thanks to Mr. Pastis: who thought I’d live to see the day with a shrimp in the comics? A SHRIMP! With a CLIPBOARD! Oh, huzzah!

  60. Bootsy
    May 18th, 2010 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#60):

    Don’t get too used to shrimp. They’re about to become few and far between, as BP continues to employ Kramerica Industries to work on the oil spill. Scary clowns indeed.

  61. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 18th, 2010 at 11:32 am [Reply]


    I hardly feel worthy to be in such funny company this week. Still, nice birthday present. Congratulations everyone.

    DtM: Thus begins our new series, “Zen Koans with Dennis and George.”

    9CL: Little do they know that Edie is now having a foursome with Kiesl and two maple trees.

    GT: On Derek’s suggestion, Cassie sings “You guys ready for that AP English test?” to the tune of Hank Williams Jr’s “All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight.” Her teammates forgiver her because they come to the conclusion she’s not responsible for her actions.

    RMMD: “Actually she’s my only niece and I just stopped loathing her about ten minutes ago, but technically she’s my favorite, yeah.”

    PBS: Love ya, Pig, but you’re next. As Vincent Vega said, “Bacon tastes good. Pork chops taste good.”

    Luann: So, reading between the lines, it seems Quill wants to have a syringe full of Novacaine injected into his scrotum. Heh. Kids.

    S-M: And now begins Sabretooths bloody all-day siege/Cole Porter medley.

    H&J: Fossilized misogyny? Check. Barely repressed homoeroticism? Check. If our favorite restaurateurs are going camping at That Wilderness Area Everyone Is Talking About, this just may be the perfect Herb & Jamaal.

    Garfield: “Geek chic” is actually a thing. You can’t just drop it into the dialog and expect it to be funny. Especially when Jon looks less “geeky” than “creepy and evil.”

  62. Sequitur
    May 18th, 2010 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    @Another Alien from Planet Glurge (#57): I assume the Chennux to whom you refer had something to do with this. If Chennux is indeed a clown it would be best if you did not present the being to Baka Gaijin. At that point you would know what war really is. [*]

  63. Sequitur
    May 18th, 2010 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#58): I believe the only shrimp allowed to handle clipboards are Jumbo Shrimp. It was found that the smaller ones only tended to write dirty limericks on them.

  64. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 18th, 2010 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    SM: So crowd-surfing has caught on in the Miami theater scene.

    NS: How much would you have to pay Wiley to get him to learn subject-verb agreement?

    MT: Mark not only lets Sassy run loose, he lets her do so without a collar. Christ, what an asshole.

    A3G: A little jumpy, aren’t we, Ruby? Maybe her big secret is that she was just diagnosed with paranoia.

    Congrats to all the Float-Folk—very funny!

  65. Sequitur
    May 18th, 2010 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#64): Ruby’s paranoia is nothing compared to Pam in Crankshaft. If you look up “paranoia” in the dictionary, you see a picture of Pam next to the definition.

  66. Chip Whittle
    May 18th, 2010 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    Somehow I expected more people to be happy that The Lockhorns are off to a Chinese prison sentence and rapid execution.

    For most of us, being abducted by a psychotic vaguely eastern European madman and stuffed into a trunk is a life’s defining adventure; for Annie, it’s Tuesday. Still I’d think by now Annie should be an expert in getting out of car trunks. I mean, Norman Drabble was able to handle it, indicating most forms of moss are capable of dealing with the situation.

    Close To Home, Crankshaft, and Daddy’s Home today are all about overreacting to bugs. Is anyone fumigating the Reuben Awards this year?

    Mark Trail: Wait … the driver is Mark Trail! And he’s stopped the car, taken the stricken dog to the vet, probably paying the bills … the Mark Trail we’ve been following is a replicant! Or an evil twin! This is madness! This is the biggest plot twist ever! Or they pulled clip art from 35 years ago for the driver and didn’t realize it was Mark again.

    The Doozies wants in on some of that hot New Adventures of Queen Victoria action today. (The Doozies does better when it’s not just presenting a joke but is also presenting in-character commentary on the joke.)

    By the way, soap opera panel parody strip Last Kiss is doing an actual story this week which I think is mocking Mary Worth, although I know so little of the secret origins of Mary Worth that I might be wrong. It may be starting off a more general parody of the genre.

  67. odinthor
    May 18th, 2010 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    Y#66. commodorejohn.

    ♫ Need a whole bunch of lovin’ ‘cause it’s a long way to Mars:
    You can’t get me past the freakin’ moon just on candy bars.
    Can’t get my super rocket to go off with a bang,
    If all my lady gives me is a little sip of Tang®.
    And how my rocket gonna shoot off in the void
    If first I don’t get charged up on your pretty asteroid?
    So, baby, just keep at it and we’ll both be seein’ stars:
    Need a whole bunch of lovin’ ‘cause it’s a long way to Mars! ♫♪

  68. boojum
    May 18th, 2010 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    Okay, seriously. Who’s in for a T-shirt that reads “I need a whole lot of lovin’. ‘Cause it’s a long way to Mars.”

    I figure that, sooner or later, some young lovely would have to turn to the wearer and ask, “So. How long is it?”

    And I, for one, have my answer ready.

  69. wossname
    May 18th, 2010 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#58): OH, that’s a relief – I guess.

  70. MaryAnnTheRest
    May 18th, 2010 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    She came from planet Glurge
    Told Bonnie not to splurge
    She was Les’s evil muse
    She whines about French crappy shoes

    Some say its our brains
    Too attuned to language that causes pain
    But it isn’t!
    It’s her attack from planet Glurge
    It’s her attack from planet Glurge
    Ow ow ow ow

  71. AhClem
    May 18th, 2010 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @Alien from Planet Glurge (#55): If you are the one responsible for the craptacular Liz/Blanthony wedding glurge storm from a couple of years ago, you don’t want to turn your back on this crowd. We have looooong memories.

  72. boojum
    May 18th, 2010 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    @Alien from Planet Glurge (#55): And if a certain Thorax is one of your bright ideas, much less one of you

    Shit. Is goin’. Down.

  73. wossname
    May 18th, 2010 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#68):

    I figure that, sooner or later, some young lovely would have to turn to the wearer and ask, “So. How long is it?”
    And I, for one, have my answer ready.

    Well of course you do! Anywhere from 54.6 million km to 401 million km, depending where they are in their orbits.

  74. commodorejohn
    May 18th, 2010 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    Agnes – No, no, Trout! If you’re not a simple, humble farmer you don’t get the Plugger-like sense of moral superiority!

    A3G – I bet Tommie sings like the drone of an air-conditioner.

    Bizarro – “Fantasy Blue People World” is my new official name for Avatar.

    Crankshaft – So yeah, for all you people who chortled merrily as it was hammered into the ground a while back that the women, they know nothing about cars and must ask their husbands to deal with them, it’s another high-larious week of Idjit Wommun: The Pam Crankshaft Story!

    Curtis – Oh, Curtis, don’t tease us like this!


    FW – I have to hand it to Batiuk: it takes a special talent to come up with a face that you instinctively want to pound into hamburger no matter what expression it wears.

    HOTC – Yes! Called it!

    Lockhorns – …so then. I assume this is what a Chinese lady looks like in the Lockhorns universe? You know, I’m no ethnographer, but I’m fairly certain that the Chinese do, in fact, have noses. Although maybe it’s just the contrast between the Lockhorns’ gigantic bulbs and this woman’s flat, reptilian nostrils that’s throwing me off. Huh.

    Luann – You know, it’s funny how accurate the old “be careful what you wish for” chestnut can be. For instance, long have I wished for Luann to cut the bullshit and just advance its plots without all the “comic” misunderstanding crap. Then today the characters suddenly start acting like sane, rational (if dickish) human beings and I’m bored stiff. Gah.

    MT – And once again, it falls to Andy to get anything done.

    MW – Oh great, next Mary’s going to whip out the E-meter and measure her thetans.

    MC – Well, actually, if a doctor can perform a C-section on herself, I don’t see why a sufficiently badass woman couldn’t film herself giving birth. And if anyone in this strip is sufficiently badass, it’s Violet. (Note to the ladies: not that this in any way makes Rex’s suggesting it better.)

    PBS – I think Pig’s been hanging around Rat a little too much.

    Phantom – And now, a nuanced exploration of the causes and implications of vigilantism some guy about to get punched out and hauled off to an undisclosed location.

    Pickles – Ooh. I’ll have to try that one in court sometime.

    RMMD – Not that watching June and Brook verbally abuse a cop isn’t awesome, but…does Woody Wilson have any idea how the police work?

    SM – Please welcome special guest star Don Knotts!

  75. Push Trot
    May 18th, 2010 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    A runner up? Me? I’m honoured as well as humbled by being in the company of so many merrymakers greater than me. You are my inspiration.

    And, for the jokes du jour:

    MT: Are the Fists of Justice Mark Trail’s sole property, or do they haunt the valleys and groves of Lost Forest, like the spirit of wendigo among the algonquian tribes? If the latter is the case, the unfolding of events in the current story line could mean that the Fists will leave Mark in disgust, and indstead will bond with the kind and caring overall-clad hilbilly.
    That the good veterinarian can’t find any broken bones in Sassy is no wonder, as she is made entirely of raw cookie dough.

    BB: This should be funny… why, exactly?
    - Oh, he got hurt and needs medical attention. Ha ha ha!

    RMMD: June, June, June… We’ve done the cousin/niece shtick to death already. December 14th you told your daughter that Brook was: “My mother’s sister’s youngest daughter, Brook …my cousin!”, and just five days ago – that’s like like thirty seconds in Rexmorganworld – you told the copper that she’s your cousin. My cousin had a daughter today (and no foolin’ – you’re not alone, @Artist formerly known as Ben (#61)) what’s she gonna be, June – my great aunt?

  76. commodorejohn
    May 18th, 2010 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#67): *rockin’ Hammond solo*


  77. Sequitur
    May 18th, 2010 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#74): SM: I don’t see Don Knotts but I do see Floyd the Barber next to Peter.

  78. Push Trot
    May 18th, 2010 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    I want to give a shout-out to Six Chix, who today has made a bird-in-a-diner joke that, while it’s funny on its own merits, makes Shoe look even crappier. That’s not a small feat.

  79. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 18th, 2010 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @Push Trot (#78): Agreed on Six Chix, or “Sickened Chickens” as it could be called today. The dark humor really does work.

  80. dale
    May 18th, 2010 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#28):

    The question was right for me, certainly don’t know about you.

    I might have asked the question if I had been walking in to the actual AP Exam. I don’t remember a thing about the exam, but I wrote a 3. That was as much as I needed for a future engineering major to skip English.

  81. Fashion Police
    May 18th, 2010 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    Oh, my! Some time after leaving her apartment, Miss Thompson changed into a new shirt and left her collar unbuttoned! She certainly has thrown all caution to the winds, hasn’t she? We certainly hope this is only a harbinger and not the extent of the long-awaited Abigail Thompson makeover.

  82. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 18th, 2010 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Farley’s Revenge (#y128): I don’t think Rusty is their son; after all, he calls Mark “Mark,” which would be too subversive for this strip. His lack of parentage raises the eternal question of where in the hell he did come from, and I think various theories have been proposed here: cooked up in Doc’s lab, badly carved from a rotting piece of wood, broke loose from a mutant fungus, spawned by swamp gas gone horribly wrong, etc.

  83. Trogdor
    May 18th, 2010 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    9CL: My take on this storyline is that Brooke has seen Casablanca one too many times. Here we have Edie (Ilsa Lund) in love with two men: the steady guy, Bill (Victor Lazlo), and the guy who makes her heart leap, Keisl (Rick Blaine). Edie/Ilsa has a history with Bill/Lazlo, but real passion with Keisl/Rick. (For whatever reason the American in this seems to use his first name, and the European his last. Must be European formalities.) She seems initially devoted to Bill/Lazlo. But when he’s reported killed, she falls into the arms of Keisl/Rick, and their passion erupts.

    My prediction is that when Bill/Lazlo arrives on the scene again, Edie/Ilsa will be torn. She was with Bill/Lazlo first, so feels she kind of owes a certain loyalty to him. And he did sort of ask her to marry him. But in her heart, Keisl/Rick is the guy she really wants to be with. Then the bomb drops If she doesn’t stick with Bill/Lazlo, the entire resistance effort against the Nazis may fail – I mean, he may never fully recover from his coma. Edie/Isla will resist, wanting to stay with Keisl/Rick. She may even tell Keisl/Rick that he has to do the thinking for both of them. But in the end, she’ll go with Bill/Lazlo out of a sense of duty. After all, both Edie/Isla and Leisl/Rick owe Bill big time for what he did back in WWII. And they’ll feel guilty about him being in a coma.

    Cut scene to the three of them standing together with Edie/Ilsa having to make her choice. If Brooke is feeling really mischievous, he’ll make some sidelong reference to Lisbon, as a nod to the destination of the last plane out of Casablanca. Maybe it’ll be the Lisbon Hospital that Bill/Lazlo is at. (Though maybe that’s too clever for him.)

    Keisl: Last night we said a great many things. You said I was to do the thinking for both of us. Well, I’ve done a lot of it since then, and it all adds up to one thing: you’re going to that hospital with Bill where you belong.
    Edie: But, Peter, no, I… I…
    Keisl: Now, you’ve got to listen to me! You have any idea what you’d have to look forward to if you stayed here? Nine chances out of ten, we’d both wind up living in Paris or Vienna.
    Edie: You’re saying this only to make me go.
    Keisl: I’m saying it because it’s true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Bill. You’re the thing that keeps him going, keeps him healthy. If he heads back into that hospital and you’re not with him, you’ll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.
    Edie: But what about us?
    Keisl: We’ll always have the POW camp. We didn’t have, we, we lost it until you came to New York. We got it back last night.
    Edie: When I said I would never leave you…
    Keisl: And you never will. But I’ve got a job to do, too – with the Metropolitan Opera. Where I’m going, you can’t follow – because you’ll give up your singing career to become a mom. What I’ve got to do, you can’t be any part of. Eva. I’m no good at being noble, but it doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world, no matter how much Brooke tries to make it look like they do. Someday you’ll understand that.
    Edie lowers her head and begins to cry
    Keisl: Now, now…
    Kesl gently places his hand under her chin and raises it so their eyes meet
    Keisl: Here’s looking at you kid.
    And the band plays Edelweiss as Keisl disappears into the mist.

    It fits too perfectly to be a coincidence, especially after the Edda-Amos Casablanca thing from a few months ago. Heck, even the oblique way Edie and Keisl talked when they first met. “I once knew a young woman…” and “I knew a young officer in that same insane world…” remind me very much of the oblique way Lazlo and Rick talk about Ilsa when they finally have a chance to speak alone.

    In any case, that’s my theory.

  84. boojum
    May 18th, 2010 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#73):

    Anywhere from 54.6 million km to 401 million km

    Well, I was thinking something a little less… intimidating.
    “Long enough, darlin’. Long enough.”

    MW: [Quivering and trembling] “It feels great, Mary! It’s what I want!!”
    Gah. You know, my grandmother had those long, sensitive toes. She just used HERS, though, to kinda pinch your leg when you walked by her unwarily on the porch. It’s funny — You never know what you’ll be profoundly grateful for, later on.

    And, “Imagine better?” Really?! This is how Karen Moy’s resolving a four-month plot line? We’re a long way from “Shoot-Out at the SantaRoyaleMart II,” folks.

  85. Sequitur
    May 18th, 2010 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#82): From the Wikipedia article on Mark Trail we find the following:

    Rusty – Introduced in 1999, Rusty is the son of an alcoholic and abusive father. Mark’s intervention saved his life and he was adopted by Trail in 2001

    That doesn’t answer the question of where Rusty came from before the alcoholic and abusive father. Your theories still hold.

  86. Walker of Dog
    May 18th, 2010 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @Trogdor (#83):

    Keisl gently places his hand under her chin

    You lost me.

  87. Sequitur
    May 18th, 2010 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

  88. Bootsy
    May 18th, 2010 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

  89. Trogdor
    May 18th, 2010 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#86): Wait, does that qualify as oral sex?

  90. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 18th, 2010 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @Trogdor (#83): I advanced the theory a while back, but you’ve expounded it much more completely.

  91. Buck Ripsnort
    May 18th, 2010 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#85): I’m guessing Yuggoth. He’s a fun guy.

  92. UncleJeff
    May 18th, 2010 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    Arlo & Janis: Let’s give credit where credit is due: in a visual medium, you’re supposed to be able to show the joke (or at least a reaction).
    Johnson sets up the joke and plays it to a unique conclusion.
    No dialogue necessary (eh, Herb & Jamal?)

  93. commodorejohn
    May 18th, 2010 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#85): Child abuse is never funny.

    Except when it’s Rusty.

  94. gleeb
    May 18th, 2010 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#74): Re June Morgan, RN, BLT, u.s.w. – You forget, June is on the good side of the mysterious Count Morgu. I bet the cops don’t want to piss him off.

  95. Alien from Planet Glurge
    May 18th, 2010 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    This has been a horrific day for our small world. Disturbed by accusations involving at least three dreadful “comics,” I presented the accusations and samples of the comics to our High Council. They are gentle beings who focus on the welfare of our planet, and they have traditionally left all contacts with other planets to diplomats and travelers like myself.

    Looking back, this was probably a mistake. Sudden abrupt exposure to your culture in the form of “The Argyle Sweater” and the comics you call “Foob” and “9CL” has caused the entire Council to void their intestinal systems and go into comas. Our physicians say it will take months to restore them to health. And that’s only if I prevent them from ever learning your planet’s definition of “glurge.” I did some research on that term on, and will now need long-term therapy myself.

    A visitor who calls himself “Chennux” has offered to carpet-bomb your entire planet on our behalf. But all we want now is to be left alone to recover. We do not, repeat not, have anything to do with your dreadful comic strips. We were never involved in any brain transplant. And now, please excuse me. I’ll need at least three hours in our Trauma Recovery Chamber just to sleep tonight.

  96. Sequitur
    May 18th, 2010 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#91): Ewwww. Just right for Rusty!

  97. Alfred E. Neuman
    May 18th, 2010 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Alien from Planet Glurge (#95): You may be dealing with the notorious Fake Chennux. The real Chennux spells his name “Chennux®™©”, and he uses a magmacannon, not carpet bombing. Neither should be confused with the FOOB character, “Chinnuts”.

  98. Walker of Dog
    May 18th, 2010 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    @Trogdor (#89): For today, we should probably keep our 9CL discussions limited to traditional hand-on-hand action only. Anything more perverse will just upset the Glurgians.

  99. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 18th, 2010 at 3:12 pm [Reply]


  100. Bootsy
    May 18th, 2010 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    @Trogdor (#89):

    See, cuz no one haz chins in 9CL.

  101. gnome de blog
    May 18th, 2010 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    With all due respect to the Glurgians, I’d like to suggest that perhaps, like Earthers, they named their planet after what it was made of. In other words, a dense but variegated opaque mass that’s often impenetrable but also can be shoveled. Therefore, I hope they don’t take it too much amiss if we have, perhaps, innocently expropiated the word to describe such material as “foob” and “9CL.” No harm intended, dear Glurgians. And if the real Chennux®™© should happen your way, you might let him know there’s a party Saturday night with potato-ade® and everything.

  102. Sequitur
    May 18th, 2010 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#101): I’m not sure a Glurgian or Glurvect can handle Potato-Ade™. I think it would make them explode. Either that or make them write dirty limericks on their clipboards.

  103. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 18th, 2010 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#101): In fact, I imagine that more than one Mid-Atlanticonvict would treat the Galactic Emperor to a Potato-Ade.

  104. True Fable
    May 18th, 2010 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#42):


    Goat babies, long and short eared editions!

  105. nescio
    May 18th, 2010 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    The 5/18 A3G shows Ruby reacting to the eternal blandness of Tommie. In the first panel, she reveals that she had not noticed Tommie’s arrival. But I especially like the reaction in the second panel, “What news?!” Ruby knows that “news” implies something interesting or noteworthy, and reacts in confusion when the term is associated with Tommie.

  106. Sequitur
    May 18th, 2010 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#104): It’s good to know the kids are being taken care of.

  107. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 18th, 2010 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

  108. bats :[
    May 18th, 2010 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#92): today’s A&J is indeed golden. And hairy.

  109. Trogdor
    May 18th, 2010 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#90): I figured I wasn’t the first. But Brooke has really been clubbing us over the head with it these days and I couldn’t remain silent any longer. (And better that I say something here than explain yet another of my comics theories to my long-suffering wife.)

  110. Anonymous
    May 18th, 2010 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#8): I’ll take on Quill. Granted, I’m 46 now and he might not have a Daddy complex but I can wrap myself around that boy like an anaconda with a sucklin’ pig. He won’t know what hit ‘im until the next morning.

  111. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
    May 18th, 2010 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    Oops. #110 was me.

  112. KarMann
    May 18th, 2010 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

  113. Alfred E. Neuman
    May 18th, 2010 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    9CL— Bill once may have been a “hard act”, but now his act is apparently flaccid.

    FC— We sympathize, P.J. This strip has been inducing yawns for years.

    Lockhorns— The foolish Lockhorns look to the Dragon Lady to bail them out.

    Luann— The De Groot women are renown for their ability to freeze guys’ goodies.

  114. Amateur
    May 18th, 2010 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    MW: “Good. Now, picture yourself giving me all your money . . .”

    #75 — I’d pay Jack Elrod money to do a drawing of the vet’s arm plunging into Sassy up to the elbow. “Good Lord! This dog is soft and squishy! And delicious!”

  115. professor fate
    May 18th, 2010 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Oh god. they are going to do hand sex.

    FW: I’d complain that Les is a self absorbed unfeeling little shit who expects the world to revolve about him and tell him how wonderful he is 24/7. But then I’d be leaving out that he’s a creepy manipulative bastard and a bully to boot. And what’s the point – Batiuk thinks this guy is great. Which tells me more about Batiuk than I want to know. really.

    Mary Worth: now picture youself the first dumpy middle aged lady to win her weight class in UFC.

  116. bats :[
    May 18th, 2010 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#110): guess there’d be a real reason to have his goodies put on ice after all.

  117. boojum
    May 18th, 2010 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    Aaahhh, salad days. If you’ve never slept all night with your goodies on ice, by the way, it can be remarkably refreshing. There’s the initial Scooby-Doo reaction, of course — Hrroooohh?!? — but then….

    Oh, dear. Once again, I’ve said too much.

  118. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
    May 18th, 2010 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    My favorite Mary Worths are the ones where it looks like someone is about to vomit a toad and today Bonnie looks as though she has three to five good toad moments ready for us. Go ahead, Bonnie! Aim for Mary’s blouse!

  119. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 18th, 2010 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @Trogdor (#109): It’s kind of inescapable, isn’t it? I was enjoying the story for a while. It was kind of a change. But it’s gone on so long now I’m ready for something else. Outside the laboratory window the sun chases the moon across the sky furiously, the mannekin in the shop window changes fashions, buildings rise and fall, and Edie is still slowly, slowly leading two men on.

    @Amateur (#114): The vet will post a picture of Sassy with the caption “IS THIS YOUR DOG?” Mark and Rusty will show up at the same time as the real owner, a doughy little white guy, clad in a baker’s toque, who closes his eyes and giggles when you poke him in the belly.

  120. curlyfries
    May 18th, 2010 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @Trogdor (#83): Works for me – I always figured Brooke had the movie running on a loop. “We’ll always have Paris” obviously means the world to him, since according to this arc the Nazi invasion of it was the worst thing that ever happened in the war.

    But you do remember what Rick’s cynical response to Ilsa’s “story about a girl” remark was?

    “I heard a story once – as a matter of fact, I’ve heard a lot of stories in my time. They went along with the sound of a tinny piano playing in the parlor downstairs. “Mister, I met a man once when I was a kid,” it always began.

    Prett apt, because IMO Brooke is the real whore here, and not just because paternalistic men who are squickily obsessed with female virginity and whose real mission in life is promoting the myth that “The Only Good Woman is One Who Remains A Good Girl No Matter What” really make me want to stab them in the eyeballs with a salad fork. If he’s going to peddle a deliberate ripoff of Casablanca would it really kill him to not utterly mangle it in some misguided quest to show that Edna retained her virginity in the face of a two front war between Bill and Kiesl? Hell, would it also kill him not to utterly misrepresent WWII through his need to create some sort of sanitized Axis hero who would respect the Rule of Heavy Petting? Because whatever prize he thinks lies between Edna’s knees is definitely not worth sacrificing that reality for.

  121. Aviatrix
    May 18th, 2010 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: No June! Don’t get Brook off yet! This is her chance to meet Cue in lockup. He’s perfect for her, and if there’s any travesty of justice it’s Cue’s case, not Brook’s.

  122. Trogdor
    May 18th, 2010 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#120): But could we really consider Edna a patriotute if she slept with Keisl? I mean, he was, after all, on the other side.

  123. Sans Sense
    May 18th, 2010 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Ruby’s sure excited and shifty all of a sudden. She must be applying for a job as a crack dealer where references are required. A bandanna’ed “artist” of independent means like Blaze should put her over the top!

  124. Poteet
    May 18th, 2010 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @Alien from Planet Glurge (#95): Geez, I guess I started this. I’m really sorry.

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