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Jeffy is not the worst thing that’s happened to the ocean, not by a long shot

Family Circus, 7/30/10

Rarely have I been more disgusted with a smile plastered all over Jeffy’s grotesque and unnaturally horizontal face. One can’t fault a child for hurling a rock at the ocean, but surely the vandalistic joy and apparent sense of achievement he feels as a result of this act are worthy of censure? I censure him. FEEL MY WRATH, JEFFY!

Mary Worth, 7/30/10

OK, so maybe Mary isn’t a “licensed therapist” per se, but you have to admit she’s making great progress with Dr. Mike. Just yesterday he was punching himself in the head; now he’s more healthily directing that anger outwards, engaging in fisticuffs with his invisible absent father.

Marmaduke, 7/30/10

“And sometimes he barks out demonic incantations so as to raise an nightmare army of walking corpses that will do his awful bidding!”

This entry was posted on Friday, July 30, 2010 at 09:34 am and is filed under Family Circus, Marmaduke, Mary Worth. |

383 responses to “Jeffy is not the worst thing that’s happened to the ocean, not by a long shot”

Jen
July 30th, 2010 at 9:39 am [Reply]

MW: I thought Dr. Mike was regressing back to his “Me Tarzan” phase the way he is beating his chest.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 30th, 2010 at 9:40 am [Reply]

Family Circus — That’s a smile? I thought Jeffy grew a little Hitler mustache!
wossname
July 30th, 2010 at 9:44 am [Reply]

JP – ignores human anatomy in a way worthy of GT or DT. In panel 1, Sam seems to be about 4 feet tall. And in panel 2, how long would Sam’s left arm have to be for his hand to be in that location without any arm showing?

GA – “I ended up catching 4 Pyes with 2 pies,” said Gertie, holding up 10 fingers. Fortunately her cooking ability is better than her math skills.

FboFW – OK, here comes the reveal that they were in the wrong cabin. (Bryan @Y217, several people have suggested that, and I certainly wasn’t the first.)

GT – That damn Pop Peake is a cheater and doesn’t display Good Sportsmanship – the GT equivalent of having facial hair in MT. I predict bad things for him.

Luann – heh heh, Beavis – she said “I’d rather wear nothing” and that dillweed Brad didn’t notice.

MW – If you lose the dialogue (always a good idea), panel 2 radiates joy and triumph. They sure look happy for people talking about paternal abandonment.

MC – I shall attempt to use the sentence “Oh, go lick your elbow” at least once today.
Tube Sock
July 30th, 2010 at 9:48 am [Reply]

Josh on FC: It is the state of current day child rearing in which parents laud their children’s most mundane accomplishments. Everyone gets a trophy.
The "Noodle Incident"
July 30th, 2010 at 9:50 am [Reply]

DtM- My first thought was “How is this menacing?!”.

My second thought was “Well, from the look in Dennis’ eyes, perhaps he’s planning on hurling his mother in front of a moving car.” THAT would bring the “menace” back.
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
July 30th, 2010 at 9:50 am [Reply]

As I read the horrible plight of Dr. Mike, I wonder if I’m rewatching An Affair to Remember. Maybe Mike’s father was on his way to reconcile when he was hit by a taxi and is now permanently disfigured. Not wanting the boy to know, he stays inside, spending his day writing missives on the internets.
yellojkt
July 30th, 2010 at 9:51 am [Reply]

How cute. Little Jeffy is all ready to grow up and become an oil company executive.
zenvelo
July 30th, 2010 at 9:53 am [Reply]

Marmaduke is just angry his victim wouldn’t stay buried.
TheDiva
July 30th, 2010 at 9:54 am [Reply]

C’shaft: Okay, I actually like today’s strip, if only because I have fond memories of my cousin toddling around our house yelling “Kitty! Kitty!” while our poor cats made a beeline for the most unreachable corner behind the couch.

DT: What, no multiple exclamation points?

I’m calling it: Mrs. D’Buckworth is the culprit, possibly because her husband found out she’s really Daniel Craig in drag.

FW: Come on, Holly, just a little tighter and you can break his neck the rest of the way…

MW: Unable to take Mary’s “therapy” anymore, Dr. Mike envisions putting a noose around his neck and escaping this vale of tears.

PBS: Speak for yourself–Map is pretty darn creepy.
brian
July 30th, 2010 at 9:55 am [Reply]

Nice bosom, Jeffy.
Evan
July 30th, 2010 at 9:55 am [Reply]

In the real world, when one discovers that ones date is obsessed with his (or her) absent father, to the point of being incapable of calling you back, the correct response is “phew, dodged a bullet on that one!”

I suspect this is not the case in the Worth-iverse.
Buck Ripsnort
July 30th, 2010 at 9:56 am [Reply]

MW: When there’s more punching in Mary Worth than in this whole freakin’ ARC of Mark Trail, bad times are upon us.
MattF
July 30th, 2010 at 9:59 am [Reply]

That fist coming up from the bottom of the second MW panel is emerging from an alternate multi-dimensional meta-reality in which Dr. Mike is decked by his old man for being a self-pitying whiner.
A Dude in Dallas
July 30th, 2010 at 10:00 am [Reply]

Luann: Toni tries to demonstrate to Brad how she wants white stuff all over her chest, but instead starts a food fight leading to their arrest for disorderly conduct.

Garfield: Three days of prominantly displaying Liz’s rack is followed by a strip dedicated to her pussy…. cat.

FW: Funky begins to obsess over his killer loan shark issues.

9CL: Not only am I surprised she is able to walk after last night’s activities, she decides to get over the guy by having a threesome in the lobby.

MW: Where’s R. Lee Ermey when you need him? He could handle this situation Geico-style, but I would prefer Full Metal Jacket-style.
commodorejohn
July 30th, 2010 at 10:04 am [Reply]

A3G – Do it, Margo! Make her feel as weak and pathetic as she’s trying to make you feel! Verbally abuse her until she’s a quivering lump, and then you can tear her apart! Shed BLOOD! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!

Archie – What the sam hell? Tentacle sexual-harrassment in Archie? What is the world coming to?

Blondie – I have to admit, few things make me smile like the Revenge of the Service Industry.

DT – “We need to talk to Mrs. D’Buckworth. I’ve located the missing Mr. D’Buckworth, and it seems he has a ’secret hobby’ she should know about. Damn weirdoes. I blame the Communists.”

Dilbert – Dilbert, there’s being snarky, and then there’s just being an asshole.

FW – Ha ha!

GT – Oh sure, get all nitpicky about Kemper’s scores, but I say it’s just damned impressive for a guy with a broken neck to be golfing at all.

HOTC – …isn’t there any other geek touchstone Heart Of The City could do a storyline about? What about Forbidden Planet? Or The Thing?

JP – What are you talking about, Abbey? Sam telling adults what to do is damn near what this strip is about.

Love Is… – somehow even squickier than usual.

Luann – CUT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CUT ALREADY!

MT – “Well, then, can I punch out the zoning board for you?”

Marmaduke – is our only hope against the living dead.

MW – That’s it, Mary. After all, what are old wounds for if not to be torn open with surgical precision and gleeful sadism masked by casual indifference?

PBS – Hey, don’t underestimate Dora. She’ll mess you up.

Phantom – Wait, so that whole “get word to the outside world” thing was a red herring? What is this, Funky Winkerbean?

Popeye – So…is this guy supposed to look like an alter kacker as drawn by Jack Chick?

PC – Points to Prickly City for today’s unabashed, unqualified, and wholly understandable sociopathy.

RMMD – Okay, is it me, or is Rex Morgan making our smirky jokes about erectile dysfunction for us? I’m not sure whether to be pleased or disappointed.

Ripley’s – features the apparently true story of a chicken that underwent a spontaneous sex-change, adding one to the list of species that someone has probably denounced as blasphemous.

SM – Oh God. Spidey’s not going to win this one through The Power Of Friendship, is he? That would be a new low, even for Spider-Man.
Jimmy "Legs" N'drangheta
July 30th, 2010 at 10:05 am [Reply]

Blondie: Raise me up a crop of dental floss…
SenatorPoopyDrawers
July 30th, 2010 at 10:11 am [Reply]

*Yawn* Same old tired jokes from Josh.

Really. Hang it up.
Digger
July 30th, 2010 at 10:12 am [Reply]

Hopefully Marmaduke will learn not to bury his victims until he’s sure they’re dead.

MW: Well, Dr. Mike, you didn’t call Jenna, and now you have to deal with Mary incessantly badgering you about your father. Maybe now you’ve learned that you should always call a woman back. Or just don’t allow yourself to be fixed up by Mary Worth. That’s probably the best lesson here.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 30th, 2010 at 10:14 am [Reply]

Judge Parker — Where’s the real Abbey Spencer… and what have you done with her?

Bizarro — Maybe he’s a short-order cook filling in for the regular waiter!

Hi & Lois — How about “Rick Detorie Told Me to F*** Off” for starters?

Blondie — J.C. Dithers gets out-blustered for a change!

Oh, Brother! — This joke was probably first done in the 1950s, but never better than here!
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 30th, 2010 at 10:15 am [Reply]

MW: It’s something of a comfort to see such clear evidence of Mary’s fraudulence. “Your father abandoned you and has stood you up every time you’ve tried to contact him? Well, you know what they say. If at first you don’t succeed…”

M-Dawg: Stephen King and his accountant present Cujo vs. Pet Sematary.

Lockhorns: “That’s chill. We were having second thoughts about the key party anyway.”

Phantom: Mr. Homeowner is just standing outside in wifebeater and boxers, and the prison dogs aren’t sniffing his crotch? They really are well-trained.

FB: Against long odds, Fred Basset comes up with the gayest line in today’s comics.

BB: “So we’re going to release neurotoxins in his office and take him out.”

9CL: “So who should I see in the lobby but The Dick Van Dyke Show’s beloved Jerry Paris. Well, I had never seen him without Millie before…”

FW: In a milieu of cancer and amputation, where his own brother can’t recognize his loved ones’ faces, Funky misses no opportunity to feel sorry for himself. That’s what I call getting back on your horse.

RMMD: It’s only a matter of cold and awkward seconds before Rex says, “Why? What’s wrong with denial?”

DT: When the wife of the missing man looks like a six-foot drag queen sans wig, Dick might just be the wrong person to do the interview. I think he’s already released the safety on his gun.

SFx: The most hapless pirates on the high seas are relieved when they catch sight of a nearby Gilbert & Sullivan production.

Garfield: When Ziggy beats you to a gag, you can tell it’s past its sell-by date.

DtM: Do they actually televise scout meetings now? And watching them is how Dennis spends his mornings during the summer? Can’t really blame Alice for putting a little Irish in her coffee.
Das Storminator
July 30th, 2010 at 10:15 am [Reply]

Did Marmaduke Co just recycle a strip, not caring that it was a Halloween one?
commodorejohn
July 30th, 2010 at 10:16 am [Reply]

@SenatorPoopyDrawers (#17): *Yawn* Same old tired jokes from SenatorPoopyDrawers.

Really. Hang it up.
Hi There
July 30th, 2010 at 10:19 am [Reply]

Old Funky better watch out for those killer loan shark issues.
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
July 30th, 2010 at 10:24 am [Reply]

Today on Dick Tracy the role of Mrs. D’Buckworth is being played by Dolph Lundgren.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 30th, 2010 at 10:24 am [Reply]

@Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#6):

Mike’s father is a Curmudgeon? Don’t tell me it’s Hammy the Squirrel!
Shawn S.
July 30th, 2010 at 10:28 am [Reply]

FC: Hmm, Jeffy has only one nostril. It’s too bad that’s the least of Jeffy’s physical worries; I’m actually applauding the fact he’s able to throw a rock at all with his pudgy, deformed body.

@SenatorPoopyDrawers (#17):

*Yawn*
Same old tired comment from PoopyDrawers.

No one’s making you come here and read his posts. He’s not going to pack it up, so please stop being a dick just to annoy everyone.
Weaselboy
July 30th, 2010 at 10:31 am [Reply]

Good lord, this Mary Worth storyline is getting intense! I’m waiting for Dr. Mike to tell Mary why he blinded the horses.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
July 30th, 2010 at 10:31 am [Reply]

@Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#6): Twenty comments later, and no posting by Mike’s Absent Father? C’mon, people!
Lawyerbob
July 30th, 2010 at 10:40 am [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#28): Maybe Dr. Mike’s absent father is . . . Wilbur!! We know he scatted around in his youth, has sired at least one child out of wedlock, lives near enough to meet with Dr. Mike, and is incapable of getting up off his ass and leaving his computer. It all fits!

Anyway, I think Dr. Mike is morphing into Robert Mitchum in “Night of the Hunter,” as he clearly has tatooed “love” and “hate” on his fingers and is having them struggle with each other for supremacy. Which means Mary is Lillian Gish, I suppose.
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
July 30th, 2010 at 10:42 am [Reply]

@Lawyerbob (#29): How dare you! How dare you, sir! Lillian Gish? Mary Worth is none other than Shelley Winters.
Girl Reporter
July 30th, 2010 at 10:42 am [Reply]

@Jimmy “Legs” N’drangheta (#16): Dithers is merely a CEO. The waiter is gonna be a Tycoon!
Jimmy "Legs" N'drangheta
July 30th, 2010 at 10:44 am [Reply]

BC: None of these things is quite like the other. All of these things are—COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!

JP: “They’re all adults, Sam”? What does that even mean? I mean, I know what it means in the real world, but I’m confused by this outburst of rationality in a soap strip…

RxMD: …Ah, that’s more like it. June is confused as to why the mayor would tell his wife about his prostrate when Rex is more than willing to tell June about the mayor’s prostate. “You shoulda felt it, June. The thing was HUGE. His butthole’s so tight you could crack a nut in it!” “I’m sure you did, Rex. I’m sure you did.”

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#28): I’ll bite. In the future, Mike will travel back in time and accidentally father himself. When he realizes what he’s done, he’ll adopt a new identity and try to move on with with life, sublimating his guilt and shame with compulsive sandwich eating.

@Girl Reporter (#31): Raisin’ it up! Waxin’ it down!
fillmoreeast
July 30th, 2010 at 10:45 am [Reply]

@brian (#10):

NO NO NO NO NO

It is nice to see that someone believes Bobby Jindal’s ludicrous “you know what’ll stop all that oil? Piles of rocks and sand!” claim. Sadly for Louisiana’s own Kenneth the Page, it’s Jeffy Keane.
Lawyerbob
July 30th, 2010 at 10:46 am [Reply]

@Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#30): You’re right! Forgive me! I sure hope Dr. Mike does to Mary what Robert Mitchum did to Shelly Winters.
Walker of Dog
July 30th, 2010 at 10:48 am [Reply]

@Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#6) Maybe Mike’s father is that zombie in Marmaduke, conjured back to life by the mysterious interaction of Mary’s Meddle Force and Dr. Mike’s high-pitched wailing. What a great excuse for not showing up to Dr. Mike’s bench-dates:

“But son, I was mauled to death by a hellhound and buried in someone’s backyard!”
“Mom always said you were irresponsible. Go away – you smell.”

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#20): Dick Tracy carrying a gun with a safety? No, he considered it an affront to his belief in hair-trigger violence and had it removed years ago.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 30th, 2010 at 10:49 am [Reply]

Marmaduke — Coming soon to a multiplex near you… Marmaduke’s Army of Darkness!

PBS — Does that mean Bob’s out of toilet paper?

Candorville — No “buts” about it, lady!

Doonesbury — Not only is it plastic crap, but it’s plastic crap made in CHINA!
Bitter Scribe
July 30th, 2010 at 10:49 am [Reply]

Wait a minute. WTF is up with Marmaduke?

Is that an unretouched cartoon, or did Josh Photoshop that emerging hand in there? He couldn’t have–he doesn’t roll like that–but what in the name of all that is holy is it doing there? Has Marmaduke gone off the deep end? Is it making some kind of whiplash transition from lame G-rated jokes about big slobbery dogs to full-on zombie horror?

This is very disturbing. What happened? Maybe the failure of the Marmaduke movie drove the artist insane. Or maybe it was the cumulative effect of all that treacle.
Mibbitmaker
July 30th, 2010 at 10:51 am [Reply]

A3G: She’s been saving her drama for a while now — I think (hope) she’s going to explode! The Kitties are doomed if she is! (Clampett-era Tweety instant grin)

BF: Alive women do.
(The more you know… CBS Cares)

DtM: Dennis the Farthest Thing from What a Menace Could Ever Be.
Next episode: Curing Cancer and AIDS.

DT: Are you kidding, Mrs. D’? Nixon made a list!

FW: It’s a sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-prime strip. (Prime: 1972-92)

GA: Someone please throw a pie in her face! Yes, that ipecac one.

HotC: Wow — I can roll my eyes at both the nerds AND the anti-nerd, with equal intensity!

JP: “Well, I’ll klack these two cans together (that’s what she said) and what you just said will disappear!” KLAK-KLAK!

Marmaduke: Dog Translator: “When I bury people, dammit, they stay dead!!”

MW: Mary can’t take a hint. She refuses to!

Phantom: No, the real cruel joke here is this storyline element! Strip, you suck!

Edison Lee:
Every president from the last 100 years (in unison): “You got that right, bucko! And they come after the midget in the labcoat NEXT!”
WarmOtter
July 30th, 2010 at 10:53 am [Reply]

Hi & Lois: Panel one, Hi walks by Chip’s room in fear as he feels the change to Lois caused by the children’s shenanigans coming on…
Professor Fate
July 30th, 2010 at 10:57 am [Reply]

MW: Therapist? The man belongs in a straightjacket with maybe just a little thorizine or maybe a lot of thorizine a whole lot of thorizine and maybe a pez dispenser filled with cherry flavored chewable prozac.

FW: Borrowed time. Yes any moment now Masky McDeath may come and collect so lets feel sorry for ourselves like there’s no tomorrow.

9CL: sorry i’m late honey i was boning the kraut.
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 30th, 2010 at 10:58 am [Reply]

@Weaselboy (#27): COTW nom.
Mela
July 30th, 2010 at 10:59 am [Reply]

That panel is a nice example why I refuse to read Marmaduke on a daily basis. Apparently, it went from “gee, our dog is big” and “gee, our dog is naughty” to “our dog is trying to hasten the zombie apocalypse”. What the hell?
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 30th, 2010 at 11:06 am [Reply]

In other news… my local newspaper (The St. Petersburg Times) dumped Barney & Clyde this week. Goodbye, Weingartens… we hardly knew ye!
Carlo
July 30th, 2010 at 11:08 am [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#20): Can Mary Worth be sued for malpractice under these circumstances? She certainly sucks at this.
commodorejohn
July 30th, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]

@Bitter Scribe (#37): Marmaduke has done battle with supernatural monstrosities on multiple occasions. It’s one of the less frequently-recurring themes of the strip, but it does pop up every now and again. What does it mean? Beats the hell out of me.
fishmorgjp
July 30th, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]

I did not see the clutching hand clearly at first in Marmaduke, and first thought it was the snaggle-toothed head of one of his fellow demons come up from the netherworld… but now I realize Marmaduke had buried his owner, Mr. Hitler, who has become one of the undead, thirsting for vengeance.
Spiff Bereft
July 30th, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]

MW: Mary, hoping to steal the Magical Couch of Truth and quadruple her meddling quota: “Yeah, whatever. Give your dad another chance…go see him now…I’ll lock up.”
Aviatrix
July 30th, 2010 at 11:14 am [Reply]

@This Guy (Y199): “Doctor” Laura ought not to be allowed at family functions, and anyone who thinks she dispenses useful information has a far worse problem than Tourette’s. In any other context you can say “this disease is not funny!” but on the comics page cancer gets punchlines. We are dealing with a medium where authors can get away with daily poop jokes, daily “gosh that dog is big” jokes, and daily no joke at all but people keep reading. Sort of like people are reading this comment in the hopes that I’ll say something funny. But, as Dingo said once when someone complained about one of his comments, “I put my name on it.”
Jacquie
July 30th, 2010 at 11:19 am [Reply]

MW: Maybe Dr. Mike should try setting up a meeting with his dad in the garden where that kid found the severed hand.
Baka Gaijin
July 30th, 2010 at 11:19 am [Reply]

Pluggers: “I forget…Where was I going with that?” I can guarantee it wasn’t about the angel faces on his knees. Like he’s seen anything below his belly button since the Carter administration.

Baby Blues: Yeah, I’m glad they made it clear this is taking place at home and not at the rectory.

Rose is Rose: Jimbo, how about do some proactive parenting. There are age limits specified on the raft’s packaging.

Cathy: Irving might talk to you and fondle you if you stop whinging constantly imaginary calories and calling to your controlling mother all the time and whinging about imaginary calories to your controlling mother.
Calico
July 30th, 2010 at 11:20 am [Reply]

Excuse me if this has already been mentioned, as I haven’t read back, but nice Zappa reference/hint in Blondie today!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzPUZwev7V8
Baka Gaijin
July 30th, 2010 at 11:21 am [Reply]

@Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#6): Judging by yesterday’s flashback, I thought I was watching a YouTube mashup of “MacArthur Park.” Mike’s sad because he’ll never have that recipe again, again, ahgaaaaaaaaaain!
Calico
July 30th, 2010 at 11:23 am [Reply]

@Jimmy “Legs” N’drangheta (#16):

Annnnd there it is folks! : )
Mes apologies pour la repetition!
Jimmy "Legs" N'drangheta
July 30th, 2010 at 11:24 am [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#45): I think it’s Anderson’s take on the “invisible” things that seem to set animals off, sort of like H.P Lovecraft having cats being about to see and travel through the higher dimensions to explain their night-time freakouts and ability to appear and disappear at will.

Still, the gruesome goblins that populate the Marmaverse (I’ve decided the “-verse” meme is so played out, we might as well play them all out) look to be very corporeal and seem to affect the environment around them, so I’m at a loss as to how the humans don’t see them.
Major Ypres
July 30th, 2010 at 11:24 am [Reply]

9CL: finally, after weeks of creepy ‘Gran relives her sex life on her death bed’, we can get to the climax (so to speak) that Juliette is not her father’s daughter, because, after D-day, Bill O’Malley was (to quote Monty Python) ‘not a complete man anymore’.
Push Trot
July 30th, 2010 at 11:26 am [Reply]

S-M Hmm… perhaps the Puppet Master is Dr. Roberts’ father? Or, more likely, the Puppet Master is Mary Worth’s long lost son.

B.C: Gary Brookins’ to-do list:

1. insert horribly obese furries
2. insert “a Pluggers…”
3. take half a week off
tb4000
July 30th, 2010 at 11:32 am [Reply]

I honestly believe the Marmaduke people are lurking your board for comedy, Josh.
Victor Von
July 30th, 2010 at 11:37 am [Reply]

I actually like today’s Marmaduke. That’s… that’s never happened before. I mean, seriously, it’s almost got a Chas Addams vibe to it. An unknowing populace about to be devoured by the walking dead… now that’s comedy!
Comcis Fan
July 30th, 2010 at 11:39 am [Reply]

RMMD: Welcome to Subtext Theater. Are we talking about the mayor’s prostate cancer here or something else?
Panel 1: How could a wife possibly not know everything important about her husband?
Panel 2: Contemptuous smirk from husband, mention of different ways of handling things.
Panel 3: Sudden onset of emotional exhaustion, aka the vapors, with bold-faced talk of denial.
Hmmmm.

Blondie: I snickered unironically.

Zits: It’s called Facebook, Jeremy, Facebook.
Joe Blevins
July 30th, 2010 at 11:41 am [Reply]

A thought has been brewing in my mind throughout the last few days of this Mary Worth storyline: what if Dr. Mike, in his confusion and anger, suddenly punches Mary in the jaw? He’s been throwing punches for days now. Suddenly, unexpectedly, one of them connects! Imagine the repercussions — Mary injured, Dr. Mike instantly remorseful, both of them shocked. They’re in a hospital aready: does she seek treatment there? Won’t there be a lot of nosy questions? And what then for Mary? And what then for Dr. Mike? Karen Moy could drag out this storyline for months and months and months.
Here come ole Flattop
July 30th, 2010 at 11:42 am [Reply]

FW: OK, Holly, you’re doing this all wrong. The next time you “hug” ole Funk, all it takes is just a little twist to the left. There’ll be a small “pop” and we’ll all be out of our misery. I can provide you with a storyboard if the directions are too obtuse.
bunivasal
July 30th, 2010 at 11:43 am [Reply]

Joe Giella has apparently and finally gotten bored of drawing heads talking about inane problems and decided to return to the action-infused rendering style of his youth.

That’s right, folks, the guy who draws Mary Worth spent the 40s and 50s working on comics like the Fantastic Four and Green Lantern.
Mustang
July 30th, 2010 at 11:44 am [Reply]

@SenatorPoopyDrawers (#17): OMG! Jeffy! Is it you?
Hank
July 30th, 2010 at 11:52 am [Reply]

@fillmoreeast (#33): Did Josh lift the ban on discussing partisan politics or are you just ignorant of it?
Rana
July 30th, 2010 at 11:53 am [Reply]

There’s something about how Mary Worth is drawn today that makes me think that since the last strip Mary has rolled the Meddle-Bot 2000 in to handle Dr. Mike (since he’s so agreeably beating himself up with minimal encouragement). Meanwhile she has gone off to prowl the hospital in search of more challenging prey.
Little A. from Da Bronx
July 30th, 2010 at 11:55 am [Reply]

@SenatorPoopyDrawers (#17): As has been suggested to me (because of all my complaining about OBH) — nobody forces you to read this blog, if you don’t like it anymore.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 30th, 2010 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

@A Dude in Dallas (#14): that would involve him getting shot, then? (I do love the Gieco ads with Mr Ermey.)
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 30th, 2010 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

Snuffy Smith — GAAAHHH… John Rose decided to remake The Incredible Shrinking Man as The Incredible Shrinking MOUNTAIN Man! (Jughaid and Uncle Snuffy are now the same size!)

Crankshaft — It’s time for Pickles to get the hell out of Dodge … or wherever he’s supposed to be!

Edge City — What’s not to hate about a woman who spells her last name S-T-E-Y-N? (Pretenious much?)

Beetle Bailey — This Whovian was hoping Beetle and the other soldiers would shout “I want my mummy!” at Chaplain Staneglass!
Brick Bradford
July 30th, 2010 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

tb4000 By George I think you’ve got it. The Marmadukes are messing with the Mudges.

MW Mike can take a hint but Mary clearly cannot.

A3G Oh Kat, just wait ’till Margo gets on the air. Heh. Heh. Heh. Margo, knock off a pint of bourbon before you go on–that will help.
gnome de blog
July 30th, 2010 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

June is about to release her inner Margo. First, she’ll march over and tell Rose and Stu what’s what, then, sensing weakness, head over to City Hall to file for Mayor.
Bootsy
July 30th, 2010 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

@fillmoreeast (#33):

When Jindal grows up to be a real politician, he’s going to change his name to “Greg” Jindal. When he comes out of the closet, it’ll be “Mike”.*

*referencing the fact that as a youngster, Piyush Jindal was so enamoured of the Brady Bunch and all things American, he took lil Bobby Brady’s moniker for his own. True story.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 30th, 2010 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

@Hank (#64):

I went back and reread the post in question, but I don’t see what the problem is. What does partisan politics have to do with making fun of Bobby Jindal? Politically, I’m an Independent… and I make fun of Gov. Jindal all the time! (Maybe if you lived in a Gulf state — like I do — you would understand why so many of us fail to take this man seriously!)
gnome de blog
July 30th, 2010 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

So what happened to Sally’s zoning code violation?
Cranky
July 30th, 2010 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

It’s all just a setup for the film sequel, Marmaduke of the Dead demanded by the public’s insatiable appetite for the first Marmaduke film. That Owen Wilson classic is ranked #34 on an all time box office returns list… oh… wait… never mind.
Naked Bunny with a Whip
July 30th, 2010 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

FC: I’d hit that.

The ocean, I mean.
Bootsy
July 30th, 2010 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

@Bootsy (#71):

Whoops, me! I’m not talking politics! I’m not talking politics! I only mentioned the name thing, which Jindal has talked about and is proud of.
Jimmy \"Legs\" N\'drangheta
July 30th, 2010 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

@gnome de blog (#73): Wasn’t it the Health Board that was after her? Or both? Or maybe they’re the same in the Punchoverse.
Little A. from Da Bronx
July 30th, 2010 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

227.queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 30th, 2010 at 11:36 am [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#224): the sad part about this, Rocky Stoneaxe, is that Mr. Detorie didn’t ignore it. He gave a well reasoned argument about why the art had shifted, and THEN told Little A to F-off. This has yet to sink in, despite rehashing this same conversation every other month since the event.

Dear Rocky Stoneaxe: Oh, it has sunk in, all right. And I am going to repeat myself until Josh bans me from this site. To reiterate. OBH used to be my favorite strip. I loved the art. I loved the humor. I loved the characters. It is starting to go down the toilet, in my personal opinion, mainly because of the sloppy drawing style. Mr. or Ms. Queek, I don’t kvetch too often, here. If my repetitions annoy you, then you had better complain about many of the other snarkers who complain (humorously mostly) about some of the same strips, about the same features, day after day! Go after them, and leave me be. Detorie has disappointed me, and I feel that I can complain about it, every once in a while. And if you think I have no basis for my complaints, get hold of one of Detorie’s compilations, for instance, Should I Spit on it? and compare the careful, clean drawing style of those older strips with the slop jobs he has been putting out nearly every day now for too long a while.
gnome de blog
July 30th, 2010 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

@Jimmy \”Legs\” N\’drangheta (#77):
I was just trying to help by giving Mark somebody to punch besides a sweet old lady who loves animals, while simultaneously tie up a dangling plot thread. I forgot this is Elrod an sensible plotting isn’t required. Carry on.

Next up: Cherry is disappointed because no one notices that she went to the beauty shoppe.
hilzoy fangirl
July 30th, 2010 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

They see Jeffy trollin’. They hatin’.
A Dude in Dallas
July 30th, 2010 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#67): Not necessarily. Mike is such a wussified drama queen that yelling alone would trigger a heart attack.
lynn
July 30th, 2010 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

@SenatorPoopyDrawers (#17): Well, Senator, no wonder you are crabby. Time for a ‘change’?

Heaven forfend that Josh should ‘pack it in’.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 30th, 2010 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

@A Dude in Dallas (#81): but I had such a mental image of a crazed Mike, an assault rifle, and Mary in a Charterstone rest room. . . . .

@Little A. from Da Bronx (#78): I can’t help it if you can’t understand *why* the art changed due to printing realities. Unless/Until the funny pages start growing again, bringing the art shift up time and again is like screaming “THE EARTH IS FLAT!” at random intervals. The results are pretty much the same. Oh, and it’s Mr. queek, fwiw.
Girl Reporter
July 30th, 2010 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

Rhymes w/Orange: It has been a long time since I cut out a comic and hung it on the ‘fridge. Starr and Twinkle are entering the monkey-see-monkey-do phase. They hold flat objects up to their ears whenever we’re on the phone or we say “hello?”.

They still sell that corded-dial-phone toy with the eyes that go googly as you pull it along the floor. Which makes me wonder if today’s toddlers even know what it is supposed to be. How soon until there’s a Fisher Price bluetooth?
Bob Wber Jr
July 30th, 2010 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

Good news from Modesto, CA! The Modesto Bee gave six comics, including “Oh, Brother!, a one month trial run. “Oh, Brother!” tested very well and is being picked up daily and Sunday. I’m thrilled and I thank you if you supported the comic during the trial!
Larry Fine
July 30th, 2010 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

S-M — “But I’m afraid if he sees me, he may flip out again. I’ll just call the Fantastic Four and let them handle it. Sofa, here I come!”
Bob Weber Jr
July 30th, 2010 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

There now! I CAN spell my own name correctly!
Mr. Paul Maul
July 30th, 2010 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

As a faux motivational speaker, I heartily endorse Mary’s regression therapy techniques. The whole thing smacks of Dr. Melfi and the Peter Bogdanovich guy from “The Sopranos” helping each other work out their issues. And it’s no coincidence that Dr. Mike looks a lot like Tony Robbins.
Mr. Paul Maul
July 30th, 2010 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

@Weaselboy (#27): Fantastic!
A Dude in Dallas
July 30th, 2010 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#83): I had the same mental image, too. I thought you were setting up a rant about gun violence, so I was trying to nip a potential flame war in the bud. (And BY NO MEANS did I say “nip in the bud” to create a mental image of Don Knotts loading his gun with a single bullet.)
gnome de blog
July 30th, 2010 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

@Girl Reporter (#84):
“Starr and Twinkle?”

Oh. Girl Reporter. I get it.
Hank
July 30th, 2010 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#72): “Making fun” of specific politicians is political. It invites others to defend that politician and/or attack other politicians out of a sense of (for lack of better term) fair play.” Soon, the whole thread is a debate about that politician or policy. So take it to Daily Kos or Free Republic or someplace like that.
H-Bob
July 30th, 2010 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

@Joe Blevins (#60): Would her injuries be covered by Dr. Mike’s malpractice insurance when she was playing therapist and Dr. Mike was the (impatient) patient ?
Hank
July 30th, 2010 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

@Bootsy (#71): See post 92.
A New Day
July 30th, 2010 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

I, for one, can’t wait for Mary to track down Dr. Mike’s father and to badger him about why he can’t make an emotional commitment to his son – “it’s because…,” he will say, burying his face in his hands as Mary hands him a tissue, “it’s because my dog was stolen when I was a boy!” “No problem!,” Mary will say, “all you need to do is confront the dog napper!” But then how will she solve the dog napper’s deepest emotional trauma? Stay tuned!
(Yes, I borrowed from Mark Trail to invent this scenario. If that isn’t proof that television has completely rotted my imagination, I don’t know what is.)
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 30th, 2010 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

yesterday’s comics are right behind me aren’t they?

If Blondie can make Zappa refs, so can I.

requires insulin.

requires insulin ^2.
spike
July 30th, 2010 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

@Bob Weber Jr (#87): Congratulations!
Dan
July 30th, 2010 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

Jeffy has quite an arm on him for only three years old.
Victor Prime, the Ghost-Who-Waddles
July 30th, 2010 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

@Hank (#92 &c.): If you’re so thin-skinned that you see making fun of a public figure as some sort of sweeping attack against their politics, then you might want to take your paper-thin skin and get off the Internet before you get REALLY offended.

We make jokes. Sometimes they’re about actual people. Deal with it.
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 30th, 2010 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

#85 Bob Weber Jr,
Congratulations on the new pickups for “Oh Brother!” I think both you and Jay Stephens are doing a tremendous job on it.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 30th, 2010 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

@A Dude in Dallas (#90): I am that rare creature, a gun-loving liberal. We get all kinds here. :-) [*]
Stripes55
July 30th, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

@Bob Weber Jr (#87): Actually, you should have just made 5 more changes, and seen if we could have found the 6 differences between the 2 posts. :)
Toby
July 30th, 2010 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

Sometimes, I think Maramduke was written by Shakespeare
UncleJeff
July 30th, 2010 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

@Bob Weber Jr (#87): Pssst. You forgot the period after ‘jr’.
Also — your fly is open.
Anna Nimity of the 2010 Jungle Patrol
July 30th, 2010 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

Hey Josh! Compulsive Editor here – Don’t you mean Jeffy is not the “worsT” thing?
(Kind of sounds Palin-esque the other way… Ya know, gettin’ that grammar thing all right now…)
Girl Reporter
July 30th, 2010 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

@ various: Ohhhhhhkaaaaaayyyyy, everybody! Please take a deep breath, join hands, and sing Kumbaya. This site is an oasis in the arid desert of the blogosphere; respect and support and good naured humor bloom here. Please don’t harsh the mellow.
Girl Reporter
July 30th, 2010 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

naured? Oh please. Way to get taken seriously.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 30th, 2010 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

@Stripes55 (#102): ROFL! well played.
Hank
July 30th, 2010 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

@Victor Prime, the Ghost-Who-Waddles (#99): I guess you weren’t here the day that Josh made a big announcement about not discussing certain comic strips here because he didn’t want political discussions. And making fun of politicians for doing something while in the course of their official duties IS discussing politics, regardless of whether it’s Bobby Brady Jindal or Barack Barry Soweto Hussein Obama.

I know, I know: when the politician targeted is one a poster doesn’t like it’s “not political” or “free speech” and when it’s one the poster likes it’s “cheap politics” and “hate speech.” And people who complain about either are “thin skinned”.

But that’s exactly why we aren’t supposed to start in on politics here.
Peter S. Conrad
July 30th, 2010 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

Please! That’s not even his arm punching! And yes, my comment applies to both Mary Worth and Marmaduke!
McManx
July 30th, 2010 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

M – Duke — Marmaduke meets Lio: twice the macabre fun, twice the mangled dead bodies.
M – Worth — This is like the Sixth Sense where you find out the hero was dead all along. Here we find out Mary was the psychologist all along and “Dr.” Mike was really a patient. Oh, it all makes sense now.
M – Trail — “I’m not helping these animals for a reward son. I’m on food stamps, and these animals help supplement my diet.”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 30th, 2010 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

It’s been one of those days.
commodorejohn
July 30th, 2010 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

@Hank (#92): IIRC, there has never been a ban on political discussion here (Josh, please correct me if I’m wrong.) The only ban of which I’m aware is on the discussion of M****** F*******, with the added implication that the flamewar-level fighting it seemed to engender was also verboten. Making (obviously light-hearted) fun of a political figure is hardly in the same class as the no-holds-barred Halloween clusterfuck that inspired that ban.
Comcis Fan
July 30th, 2010 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

@Bob Wber Jr (#85):

Congrats on the pickup, Bob!
Walker of Dog
July 30th, 2010 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

@A New Day (#95): Eventually, after cycling through many more damaged comics characters, the chain will come back to Dr. Mike (maybe he text-dumped that cellphone girl who forced Funky off the road). Then the circle will be complete, and Mary can die.
McManx
July 30th, 2010 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

@Bob Weber Jr (#87): Congrats! We enjoy your comics very much. Found today’s “S” puzzle particularly attractive. But since you left it for us to find “any more” S words, I am now in my third hour of seeking EVERY possible S variation on the damn boat.
ArtisticPlatypus
July 30th, 2010 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

Oh joy. Half a panel of Jeffys gratuitously floppy pectoral.
A Dude in Dallas
July 30th, 2010 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#101): Cool. So, forgive my ignorance, what does [*] mean?
Marion Delgado
July 30th, 2010 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

Josh is completely off base. Hitting the ocean with a thrown stone is in fact the greatest accomplishment anyone in the Keane family has ever achieved – or ever will again. Savor the moment, Jeffy. Savor the moment.
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 30th, 2010 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

@Hank (#109): So my recurring Dan Quayle hottub dream, that’s off limits?
Hm. Maybe it is something I should talk to a professional about.
Marthas Rolling Pin
July 30th, 2010 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

For the record, from our infallible Pope’s Official Bull on posting policies, the only specific rules:

1. Don’t post a FIRST POST! just for the sake of posting a FIRST POST!
2. Don’t post commercial spam.
3. Don’t consistently, persistently, and mean-spiritedly attack your fellow commentors or forum members, and remember that this is a very diverse community and that racist, sexist, homophobic, and other prejudicial stuff will inevitably be an attack on one of your fellow commentors.
4. Don’t be an insufferable prick.
UPDATE: Based on long experience, I have chosen to add a very specific rule to this list:
5. Discussing Mallard Fillmore in the comments only pisses everyone off and contributes nothing. Anyone doing so will be banned on the first offense I catch.

No specific ban on political comments, except for those stemming from the Waterfowl, but a strong suggestion that mean-spiritedness in any comment is outside the pale. There used to be a Cockpit penalty for that sort of thing, but I see the Cockpit is pretty much empty now except for a few scattered feathers.

Just me, but I didn’t see either fillmoreeast’s original post, Hank’s response, or any of the succeeding colloquy as being in violation of the Prime Directives.
commodorejohn
July 30th, 2010 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

@ArtisticPlatypus (#117): I was trying to forget that, thank you so much.

@A Dude in Dallas (#118): That’s a trick we’ve adopted around here to hide spoilers or meta-commentary; you can hover the mouse cursor over it to read it. [*]
Jimmy "Legs" N'drangheta
July 30th, 2010 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#120): Tell it to Mary.
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 30th, 2010 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

@A Dude in Dallas (#118): [*] is an indicator of mouse-over text. And knowing is half the battle.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 30th, 2010 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

bebeh leopard haz a bukkit! SQWEEEEE!
Aviatrix
July 30th, 2010 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

@SenatorPoopyDrawers (#17): Are you starting your own website with the tagline “The Senator Reads Comics Curmudgeon So You Don’t Have To?” We’ll come by and tell you when your snark on Josh’s snark on the comics gets old. And then we’ll start another level of recursion.
Hank
July 30th, 2010 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#113): “the flamewar-level fighting it seemed to engender… verboten.” In my experience once you start letting in the one little “harmless” dig against “politician [fill in name]” it’s only a matter of time before the flame-war begins. I figure we can police ourselves and say “hey let’s keep it apolitical because we’re all friends there to talk about comics” as soon as the politicians start getting mentioned or we can wait until the war is in full bloom, Josh comes back on Sunday to pick on Apt 3G and the whole thing has gone to hell.
Stroker Ace
July 30th, 2010 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

Marmaduke – Please let this be the last Marmaduke ever. Like Hagar being burned @ the stake – a fitting end.
Push Trot
July 30th, 2010 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#125):
It’s a good thing “Don’t be ADORABLE” isn’t on the list. [*]

I’m not sure how the rules are to be interpreted, but I follow the Johnny Carson approach: “Your chances of getting struck by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say “Storms suck!””
Crankenstank
July 30th, 2010 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

Jeffy already has Tony Heyward’s hair, and obviously his attitude, so clearly the sky’s the limit for this young go-getter in the corporate world.
Crankenstank
July 30th, 2010 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

I used to be amused at your conceit that Marmaduke was a demonic presence intent on devouring the bodies of the chattel around him, but today’s strip clearly shows that you are 100% correct in your assessment that Marmaduke’s world is that of the possessed, the undead, the living dead, the macabre, the grotesque, in short, the supernatural. I expect tomorrow we’ll have a guest appearance from Vincent Price spouting some verse of Edgar Allen Poe’s while Marmaduke chomps the newly emergent zombie’s head as an appetizer before moving on to his piece de la resistance, the corpus delectus of his lord and master, Phil.
commodorejohn
July 30th, 2010 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

@Hank (#127): Policing ourselves is a noble goal; policing others, not so much. It’s one thing to remind someone who’s starting to flame that that’s not allowed around here, but it’s an entirely different matter when you react to mention of political topics by bringing up a “ban” that doesn’t exist. I’m sure that was unintentional on your part, but the simple fact is that political discussion is not specifically discouraged, and certainly not disallowed.
Jimmy "Legs" N'drangheta
July 30th, 2010 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

Man, that Jeffy! He’s got bigger boobs than Sulla, a bigger mouth than Antonius, and takes more pride in middling accomplishments than Cassius!
commodorejohn
July 30th, 2010 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

@Crankenstank (#131): You’d think that if you placed someone as awesome as Vincent Price in something as horrible as Marmaduke, it would cause some kind of obliterative reaction. Then again, there are a number of ’60s horror cheapies that would attest otherwise…
Syndi
July 30th, 2010 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

Looks like Dr. Mike has resorted to beating his chest ala King Kong.
Victor Prime, the Ghost-Who-Waddles
July 30th, 2010 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

Hank, drop it. I don’t care whether you voted for Jindal and are offended at a joke about him, or if you’re honestly trying to keep some shadowy cabal of political flamers from descending on these comments, or what, but I’m going to tell you flatly: Your personal opinion is not the rule here. The guidelines were posted verbatim above your last post, and yet you seem fully ignorant of them in your efforts to establish yourself as Nanny Of The Day. You are not in charge here. End of story.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
July 30th, 2010 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

Well. While all this discussing has been going on (interspersed with some much-needed queek-squee), I was having a delightful lunch with Ecureuil Ecumant and Muffaroo (and Muffaroo’s lovely family)! I’m feeling quite fortunate to live in a ‘mudgeon hub, let me tell you!
Victor Prime, the Ghost-Who-Waddles
July 30th, 2010 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

Anyway, to more pressing matters, re Jeffy: If this were the Grand Old Days of the DFC, I’d be pointing out how he only has one nostril and how he happens to have thrown something round into the water and invite those reading to make the connection. (I would then be promptly put into the Stupid Zone for yet another nostril joke.)
Thursday Next
July 30th, 2010 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

@Bob Wber Jr (#85): I just read it for the first time today. I like it–it’s making me think of bubble gum.
Victor Prime, the Ghost-Who-Waddles
July 30th, 2010 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

re MW: “Only in America! Only in America can a young man engage in pugilistics against a meddling matriarch in a national newspaper! And all the people in Indonesia, and all the people in India, they know her, ‘cuz she got Double Meddle Powah!”
Ned Ryerson
July 30th, 2010 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

Blondie: Hey Zappaphiles, wouldn’t it be cool if the J.C. Dithers and Company chiefly manufactured Zircon encrusted tweezers? Talk about you conceptual continuity!

FC: I wonder if the CEO of Kruger Industrial Smoothing was at the beach at the same time as the Keane Klan.
hibbleton
July 30th, 2010 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

Fisticuffs with an imaginary foe is a longtime psycho-therapy technique pioneered by Brooks and Lillolman in their seminal work on high anxiety.
wagmore
July 30th, 2010 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

@Girl Reporter (#106): Amen, sister! Wow, everyone is crabby today! Is it the heat? Humidity? Lack of punching in Mark Trail? Funky’s refusal to die, or at least be interesting? Fear that your regular therapist will go on vacation and refer you to a new one, who turns out to be Mary Worth?

Actually, that last one is understandable. Carry on.
Bob Weber Jr.
July 30th, 2010 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

@McManx (#116):
Sorry about that!! I add the “Any more” as a saver. There were times in the past when readers found more answers than I gave.
Bob Weber Jr.
July 30th, 2010 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#100):
Thanks so much!! I LOVE Jay’s art!
Larry Fine
July 30th, 2010 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

FC — Today the ocean, tomorrow the side of a barn! Is there nothing Jeffy can’t do?
Dennis
July 30th, 2010 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

Marmaduke has every right to bark. The hand from the old 1980s skateboard advertisements is invading his doghouse. You’d bark too if disembodied hands were invading your turf.
Hank
July 30th, 2010 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

@Victor Prime, the Ghost-Who-Waddles (#136): So, your position is that it’s wrong and “nannying” to b***h at other posters and you’re going to drive that point home by b***hing at me? And you’re so against people telling others what to post that you’re demanding I “drop it…end of story”? Mm’kay. I’m just going to ignore you after this. Better for every one, I think.

@commodorejohn (#132): Yeah, really, my only point was “let’s play nice and not let things start.” I think I understand your point and you understand mine. And the last thing I want to do is start a flame war over not starting a flame war. Have a good weekend.
Graddy
July 30th, 2010 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

Some great exposition in Marmaduke today. Normally, his victims are left as nothing but a pile of bones. Today, we learned that on occasion he’ll only partially devour his victims, so that they will one day rise from the earth as fellow servants of Satan.

Jeffy’s got a hell of an arm for a 3-year-old. A lot more than you could say for Ditto (who’s over twice Jeffy’s age, and yes I actually had to research Hi and Lois to make this observation).
Dark Corner
July 30th, 2010 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

@Toby (#103):
Or perhaps by T.S. Eliot:

‘That corpse you planted last year in your garden,
‘Has it begun to sprout? Will it bloom this year?
‘Or has the sudden frost disturbed its bed?
‘Oh keep the Dog far hence, that’s friend to men,
‘Or with his nails he’ll dig it up again!
Calico
July 30th, 2010 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

@McManx (#116):
I would say
Shovel
Steering Wheel (ok, this is cheating a bit, but it is Friday!)
Bob Weber Jr.
July 30th, 2010 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

@Thursday Next (#139):
Thank You!!! Ahhh, Baseball cards, Bazooka bubble gum and comics …
By the way did you ever try Razzles? I remember when they were first introduced in the mid 60’s!
Marthas Rolling Pin
July 30th, 2010 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

@Dark Corner (#150): T.S. Eliot and Marmaduke. Just another reason I keep coming back here. Bravo!
Bootsy
July 30th, 2010 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

Louisiana is known for colorful nicknames for everyrone from polititians to musicians. Gov. Huey Long was the Kingfish. The first African American mayor of New Orleans was Ernest “Dutch” Morial. Don’t forget current Baton Rouge councilman Smokie Bourgeois and Judge Cooter Hale. Horseman and legendary track character Alan Black Cat Lacombe, Pistol Pete Maravich, long time French Quarter denizen Ruthie the Duck Lady, who rollerskated around the Quarter followed by, yes, ducks. Eddie “Cleanhead” Vinson, Huey “Piano” Smith, Gatemouth Brown. And everybody know someone named Tee Alcide, Tee Roger, or Tee something else, since that means “little”.

The mention of Bobby was to his name, nothing else. it’s a time honored tradition. And that’s coming from someone whose real name is Boo Boo.
And I am very sad that the week ended without any punching in Mark Trail! First he finishes the poaching senator story with a meeting around a conference table, and now this! Mary Worth has more fist waving than Mark Trail. Mary friggin’ Worth!
Calico
July 30th, 2010 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

@Bob Weber Jr. (#152):
I used to EAT Razzles, until I learned they were really gum.
Oh well.

Bazooka Joe old joke – “Last night I had a dream where I was eating a giant marshmallow, and when I woke up, my pillow was gone.”

Bob, do you remember Wacky Pack stickers? That sh*t is some of the most demented yet clever satire I’ve ever seen.
A Dude in Dallas
July 30th, 2010 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#151): sand, shovel, shirt, shoe, skipper, stern, skin, symbol, strongbox
Calico
July 30th, 2010 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

@A Dude in Dallas (#156):
Starboard?
: D
McManx
July 30th, 2010 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#157): Oh, oh!! And don’t forget SHORE, SCARVES, STAVES… Oh, dang you Bob Weber, Jr.! Here we go again.
Jimmy \"Legs\" N\'drangheta
July 30th, 2010 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

@A Dude in Dallas (#156): scared pirate, shy pirate, startled parrot, sanquine captain, sexy cat, scooped fish, swinging boom, submarinous practical joker, wearing a shark-fin, summer moon, stereotypical desert island, scurcy-mouthed boatswain…
Jimmy "Legs" N'drangheta
July 30th, 2010 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

@Jimmy \”Legs\” N\’drangheta (#159): …SCURVY-mouthed boatswain…
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 30th, 2010 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

@Hank (#92):

I “take” it to Fark and similar sites all the time, so I definitely know the difference between snarking on a comic and a Pier Six brawl over a politician. Frankly, I don’t care what your political ideology is, but you need to stop jumping on people who don’t happen to share your view of the world. As I told another Curmudgeon earlier today, everyone who posts on this site is entitled to their opinion. But don’t be surprised if expressing it evokes a strong reaction from someone else… or the loud chirping of crickets!
A Dude in Dallas
July 30th, 2010 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

@Jimmy \”Legs\” N\’drangheta (#159): Several schnozes!
Jimmy "Legs" N'drangheta
July 30th, 2010 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

@A Dude in Dallas (#162): Oh, and the sea.
Shawn S.
July 30th, 2010 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

Is their any chance that the artist of Marmaduke reads the blog and did this as a shoutout to Josh? This would be similar to Jumble and Pearls recognizing the blog, as well as the AJGLU3000 reading the blog while spidering the web for jokes involving human teens.
Jimbo
July 30th, 2010 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

9CL: Did they a condom each of the six dozen times they got it on? It must sound like someone is carrying a wading pool down the hallway.
Calico
July 30th, 2010 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

@McManx (#158):
Salt Water!
(Again, it’s Friday!)
Calico
July 30th, 2010 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

In the bird’s mouth: Sardine?
gnome de blog
July 30th, 2010 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

@Bootsy (#154):

Don’t forget current Baton Rouge councilman Smokie Bourgeois

Was Smokie Bourgeois connected in any way to former Major Leage catcher and pinch-hitter deluxe Forrest Harrell “Smokey” Burgess?

(Burgess was from North Carolina by the way, not Baton Rouge. Hence the name.)
But What Do I Know?
July 30th, 2010 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

@Dark Corner (#150):

T. S. Eliot!!!! While we’re in the Waste Land. . .

I myself once saw Mary Worth hanging by the pool at Charterstone. When the small boys asked her what she wished, she said, “I wish to meddle.”
Jimmy "Legs" N'drangheta
July 30th, 2010 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#167): Silver slipper on the boatman’s foot and a shit-house in the middle of the ship.
Bob Weber Jr.
July 30th, 2010 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#155):
I love Wacky Pack stickers! Here’s a little background into cartoonists involved, including the creator of Zippy!

Product Description
Wacky Packages—a series of collectible stickers featuring parodies of consumer products and well-known brands and packaging—were first produced by the Topps company in 1967, then revived in 1973 for a highly successful run. In fact, for the first two years they were published, Wacky Packages were the only Topps product to achieve higher sales than their flagship line of baseball cards. The series has been relaunched several times over the years, most recently to great success in 2007.

Known affectionately among collectors as “Wacky Packs,” as a creative force with artist Art Spiegelman, the stickers were illustrated by such notable comics artists as Kim Deitch, , Bill Griffith, Jay Lynch, and Norm Saunders.

This first-ever collection of Series One through Series Seven (from 1973 and 1974) celebrates the 35th anniversary of Wacky Packages and is sure to amuse collectors and fans young and old.
About the Author
The Topps Company, Inc., founded in 1938, is best known as a leading producer of baseball cards and other trading cards and stickers. They are also known for Bazooka bubblegum, which was introduced in 1947.

Art Spiegelman is an American comics artist and editor, best known for his Pulitzer Prize–winning comics memoir, Maus.
wagmore
July 30th, 2010 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

spyglass
Écureuil Écumant
July 30th, 2010 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

@3 wossname said:

GA – “I ended up catching 4 Pyes with 2 pies,” said Gertie, holding up 10 fingers. Fortunately her cooking ability is better than her math skills.

“And I only needed 2 teaspoons of ipecac in each pie,” added Gertie … holding up 10 fingers.
fluffy
July 30th, 2010 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

I just assumed that Marmaduke had buried one of his victims but did a terrible job of it, and now he’s trying to save face. “How the hell did THAT get there?! POLICE! POLICE!” Because nobody suspects the gigantic maniacal terror monster of murder.
Master Softheart
July 30th, 2010 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

9CL: Ooooh! This is surely most romantic and touching plot development yet – back in the 21st century, we’re about to learn that Kiesl was pregnant with Edie’s child after their several months of ~~grinding, thrusting, animal-like sex~~ graceful caressing of hands. Her unknown adult son has come back from Vienna to find Edie after hearing that she was sick; Dr. Burber’s expression in the second panel suggests that she is equally nervous at meeting her long-lost half-brother and intrigued at how her mother managed to leave the Nazi officer schwanger.
bman
July 30th, 2010 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

I never thought I’d say this, but today’s Marmaduke was awesome. Could it be that another comic has gone off the rails thanks to Josh’s blog?

Dr. Mike throwing a temper tantrum on his couch is now the second-best thing in the comics this week.
Écureuil Écumant
July 30th, 2010 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

MW: Aha! Dr. Mike’s problem is clear. He has a rare disease. Its name is Kurtness’ Palsy. It is a speech disorder. Utterances are very simplistic. Short declarative sentences only. We have things for that.
Dagger
July 30th, 2010 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

It’s all part of Poppa Keene’s training. Start off by training Jeffy to hit a target half the size of the planet, and in a few years’ time he’ll be an expert sniper. It would take longer, but assassinations are easier when your target’s head is the size of a file cabinet.
Shrug
July 30th, 2010 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

@bunivasal (#62):

#

“That’s right, folks, the guy who draws Mary Worth spent the 40s and 50s working on comics like the Fantastic Four and Green Lantern.”

Since FANTASTIC FOUR didn’t appear until late 1961, he had lots of time to get it just right.
zerowolf
July 30th, 2010 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

MW: With so much meddle in so little time, I hope Doc Mike had that chair Scotchgarded and Mary has an extra set of panties in her purse.
zerowolf
July 30th, 2010 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

GT: The only thing more boring than watching golf on TV, is reading golf in Gil Thorpe
zerowolf
July 30th, 2010 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

Pluggers: Didn’t they do this if you’re getting senile you’re a Plugger not all that long ago? I don’t really remember… … oh shit….
Dark Corner
July 30th, 2010 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

@But What Do I Know? (#169):
“I think we are in Gasoline Alley
Where Old Walt lost his marbles
And Old Woman won’t shut up about pies
To Charterstone then I came
busybodying
busybodying
busybodying
but Dr. Mike I sucketh thou off
Mike I sucketh

busybodying”
Dark Corner
July 30th, 2010 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

“thee”
*tsk*
Some Guy
July 30th, 2010 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

A couple of people have commented on how very, very unmenacing Dennis is today; he wants to be a boy scout and help his mother across the road.

But who do boy scouts help across the road? Old ladies. And by the admittedly low levels of menace in this strip, I think “snarks about his mother’s age by implication” is as good (or rather, as bad) as we’re going to get…
Poteet
July 30th, 2010 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

MARMADUKE — If we’re going with this theme, I want to see another panel in which the other hand appears and they both start to throttle Marm.
Poteet
July 30th, 2010 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

9CL — I’ll be out of town for most of next week, just when Eva/Edie/Echidna/Gran meets and commits to the guy who still wants her to think he’s dead. Thanks in advance to the Mudges who will be saying all the things I’ll be thinking.
Jimmy "Legs" N'drangheta
July 30th, 2010 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

@Some Guy (#185): Implied snarking on his mother’s age (especially a hottie like Alice) it setting the bar pretty durned low menace-wise. Don’t let Dennis fall victim to the soft bigotry of low expectations. Give that boy a supersoaker full of bleach and send’em to Sesame Place already!
Fashion Police
July 30th, 2010 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

@bunivasal (#62):

That’s right, folks, the guy who draws Mary Worth spent the 40s and 50s working on comics like the Fantastic Four and Green Lantern.

And the gentleman who draws Apartment 3-G used to draw Winnie Winkle, whose fashions were often curious and occasionally unlovely but never dowdy or cheap-looking.
150
July 30th, 2010 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

Jeffy is not the worst thing that’s happened to the ocean, not by a long shot

I don’t know what you’re talking about. Jeffy is the worst thing that ever happened to anything, anywhere.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 30th, 2010 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth — Fight trainer Mary is getting Mike “Doc” Roberts ready for next week’s bout with Joe Palooka!

Ripley’s — I wish someone would name their band “Resurrection Men”!

The Flying McCoys — He also needs a new tailor! (“Hello, Fashion Police? There’s a wardrobe malfunction over at the House of Frankenstein!”)

Dog Eat Doug — Brian Anderson is doing his version of Them! (1954) and/or Bert I. Gordon’s Empire of the Ants (1977). James Whitmore was in the former and Joan Collins was in the latter. Which one is Doug supposed to be?
boojum
July 30th, 2010 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

I don’t even read Mary Worth any more (the intense loathing I feel for her smug self-righteousness cannot be good for my spiritual health), and even I am mesmerized by Jenna’s “would-be suitor.” The meteoric shifts from “Dr. Mike, Rat Bastard Prick” to “Dr. Mike, Emo Loser” and thence to “Dr. Mike, Drama Queen” have been a thrill ride. I haven’t seen so shameless an Oscar bid since For Your Consideration.
Alfred E. Neuman
July 30th, 2010 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

DT— I’m calling it:
When Dick finds the location of the missing man, he’ll say, “D’Buckworth stops here!”

FC— Although Jeffie’s accomplishment is modest at best, he’s still more accurate than the New Jersey Nets.

@Bootsy (#154):
And don’t forget Huey Kingfish Long’s esteemed bodyguard, Harry Battling Bozeman.
Mike Roberts Sr.
July 30th, 2010 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

Hey, nice chatforum or blogroom or whatever you got going here. Ya see, I spend a lot of time writing missives on the internets, like that Dingo guy said. And you meet a lot of great people on those internets. Like this guy Wilvert or something I met in the “Fathers of abandoned offspring” chatroom. I says to him, “Wilmer, I’m thinking about answering one of those whiny e-mails from that kid of mine.” He says to me, “Mike Senior, don’t you do it! I answered an e-mail from my kid, and he showed up, and my girl kid freaked out, and we frolicked, and then all of a sudden he took a powder! And the worst part of it was — he wasn’t even my kid!”

Kinda reminds me of what my old friend Martin Clark, may he rest in peace, told me about his kid showing up out of nowhere, and his old drunk of a sister had to run him off.

So I says to Wilver, “OK, you’ve convinced me. I won’t meet with him. He can take a hint.”
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
July 30th, 2010 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#83): I can understand what you and Mr. Detorie are trying to tell me. And I know that drawing styles evolve. It seems to me that if an artist has to draw in a smaller space, he would take more care with his drawings, not less. Anyway, i won’t say anything more about this, for a while.
Alison
July 30th, 2010 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

Oh shut up, Mary Worth. He’s tried and tried and dear ol’ dad doesn’t give a shit. Dr. Mike is wise to give up. Pay attention, because you could learn a good lesson from him.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 30th, 2010 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

@bunivasal (#62):

Actually, Fantastic Four #1 didn’t come out until 1961, and Joe Giella was firmly ensconced at DC by then. However, he was one of the main inkers on Gil Kane’s Green Lantern from 1959 on. He also inked Carmine Infantino’s Flash and worked on Batman after the character was revamped by Julius Schwartz and company.
Dan
July 30th, 2010 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

WAH! Daddy didn’t love me! WAH!

Where’s R. Lee Ermey when you need him? Dr. Mike needs someone to call him a jackwagon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhlWddAXSRA
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 30th, 2010 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

@LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL (#195): Take it from someone who used to spend a lot of time at a photocopier reducing comic art to fit on character sheets. When the art is being reduced, less is more.

Srsly, try it some time. Heavily detailed art looks *terrible* if it’s reduced too much. A much looser and less detailed version reduces to a better quality result.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 30th, 2010 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

@Bob Weber Jr. (#171):

Did you know Norman Saunders has a daughter by the name of Zina Saunders, who’s also a painter?
Écureuil Écumant
July 30th, 2010 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

@56 Push Trot said:

S-M Hmm… perhaps the Puppet Master is Dr. Roberts’ father? Or, more likely, the Puppet Master is Mary Worth’s long lost son.

Yes, that makes perfect sense because his fake hair and beard are made from the same orange wool as Dr. Jeff’s trousers. Evidently they have the same tailor. And Mary’s swain back in the day was surely clown-maned Mayor Stu before too late he got schmardt and ran off with the circus.
commodorejohn
July 30th, 2010 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

@Écureuil Écumant (#201): “Got schmardt?” Is that a reference to Siegfried?
pensivefool
July 30th, 2010 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

I hope the next Mary Worth features Wilbur sitting at a park bench and eating a sandwich, occasionally checking his watch as if waiting for someone.
Zla'od
July 30th, 2010 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

As a Nazi, I am offended by the repeated comparisons of our beloved Fuehrer with characters from a comic strip about a dog. Surely such hateful, insensitive remarks should be banned. (Can’t we all just get along?)

Okay, I’ll bite. What is “M******* F*******”?
Roman Fingers
July 30th, 2010 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#202): Either that, or a Don Adams reference.
But What Do I Know?
July 30th, 2010 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

@Dark Corner (#183):

That’s some good stuff–the best I’ve seen since the Love Song of J. Funky Winkerbean.
ElkMeadow
July 30th, 2010 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

@This Guy (y#199):

I had to wait until I was able to see the strip to see what you were talking about. This strip is jaw-dropping crap. To blame a spoiled despot’s behavior on Tourette’s is beyond the pale.

I wish that editors still had what it took to pull strips. I remember when the Oregonian dropped Dick Tracy. They had blown up a villian–”Where is he?” “You’re breathing him.” It was after one of the Kennedy assignations. The Eugene Register-Guard pulled Steve Canyon on a Chinese torture theme.
Smokehouse
July 30th, 2010 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

If Dr. Mike’s problems don’t get better, it’s going to harm my theory that punches solve everything and crush my fragile psyche.
ElkMeadow
July 30th, 2010 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

@pensivefool (#203):

Ooh, I like that! Wilbur being Mike’s dad, waiting to meet him, but thought they were meeting at Arthur Park, not McArthur Park.

And poor Mike sat in the rain, where it was raining at McArthur Park, all the sweet green icing flowing down….
commodorejohn
July 30th, 2010 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

@Roman Fingers (#205): That’s what I was getting at, yeah.
ElkMeadow
July 30th, 2010 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

@Fashion Police (#189):

Ooh, I loved Winnie Winkle! I thought that the whole “Husband returns from the grave, his jealous brother kills him, and who is that dark person sneaking around behind parked cars?” story line was really stupid. And unlike editors today, someone at the Oregonian thought so too and pulled the strip.

As for her other story lines:
I thought that the patchwork thing was really stupid, though, as they would have to sew the patchwork before making the outfits, but maybe it was just the stuff that was needed for the fashion show, before orders could be taken.

I’d still like to do the Egyptian jewelry bit. And one thing that it probably unique to the whole of comicdom–her over-weight side-kick married a hunka-kunka buff cute guy from Polynesia!

(Everywhere else it’s usually the pretty and smart and sarcastic girl going with the rather homely (and sometimes overweight) shmoo. Example: Toni and Brad. Or they’re evenly matched. Rex and June.)
kkarenb
July 30th, 2010 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#202):

I think it’s a Pennsylvania Dutch expression – too soon old and too late smart, which is pronounced schmardt.

Dr. Mike is actually doing physical therapy. His arms are drawn as if the right one is at least 12 – 18 inches longer than the left one.
ElkMeadow
July 30th, 2010 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

@Girl Reporter (#31):

I remember that plot line in the Hallmark Hall of Fame production of “What the Deaf Man Heard,” starring James Earl Jones.

I”m putting that DVD on my wish list. I think it’s more likely that I’ll get that than a fresh storyline at Garfield or a decent one from 9CWL.
ElkMeadow
July 30th, 2010 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

@Zla’od (#204):

Surely (or do you prefer to be called Shirley?), you are thrilled with the story line at 9CWL.
ElkMeadow
July 30th, 2010 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#161):

……..CHIRP, CHIRP, CHIRP, CHIRP….
Roman Fingers
July 30th, 2010 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#210): Sorry for missing the ref. I blame demon rum. Sweet, delicious demon rum.
Crankshafts Funky Smelling Corpse
July 30th, 2010 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

@Hank (#109): It’s Sotero. Soweto is a place in South Africa.

Or is that some sort of sarcasm that I’m missing?
gleeb
July 30th, 2010 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

@Crankshafts Funky Smelling Corpse (#217):

Soetero, actually.

And the more effective way of making fun of Governor Jindal is to bring up his interest in exorcism.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
July 30th, 2010 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

@Mike Roberts Sr. (#194): Oh, yay! Mike Roberts Sr.! Sir, let me commend you on your choice of abandonment; if I had an adult child who flailed around like a toddler in a tantrum, I’d keep my distance, too.
Poteet
July 30th, 2010 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

GA — Gaaaah, don’t talk to me! Your insane reality and my reality must never connect!
Poteet
July 30th, 2010 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

LUANN — As an aunt, Toni, I would like to point out to you that your taste in men reeks to high heaven. Pee-yoo.
Baka Gaijin
July 30th, 2010 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

@zerowolf (#180): Ewwwww!
Rana
July 30th, 2010 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

@Zla’od (#204): Zla’od. This.
DaveyK
July 30th, 2010 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

Say what you like about Mary Worth, but I have been inspired by the bravery of her artists. They have managed to soldier on despite the apparent delivery mix-up in which July’s ink shipment only included brown and green ink.
Zla\'od
July 30th, 2010 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

Thank you Rana! Ooh, yeah, I can totally see why this degenerate filth should be banned. Or given over to George Lucas to make a movie of.
Girl Reporter
July 30th, 2010 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

@ElkMeadow (#207): I heard-tell of a local TV producer who was working on a show with a cast of children. She was born a piece of work, and her various chemical habits magnified her personality flaws including that she was just a big fat pants a-fire liar. When the cast members’ parents complained that she used profanity in front of their children she lied that she had Tourettes and invoked the ADA. And they bought it. So she got to continue swearing in front of children with their parents’ blessing and sympathy for her disability.
The Ridger
July 30th, 2010 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

Well, I for one am deeply impressed with Mrs D’Buckworth’s impressive geometrical stacking of her laughs.
Ian
July 31st, 2010 at 12:02 am [Reply]

@zenvelo (#8):
That’s exactly what I thought!
Dr. Weird
July 31st, 2010 at 12:04 am [Reply]

Doonesbury – An exceptionally unsubtle and mean-spirited attack on someone he clearly dislikes. I expect better from him.
cheech wizard
July 31st, 2010 at 12:18 am [Reply]

I never thought I would ever see Blondie making Frank Zappa references. But it’s a trend other strips could pick up on. For example (revising and expanding on the list in yesterthread):

“The torture never stops” – MW

“I’m the slime oozing out from your TV set” – Tank McNamara

I have been in you – 9CL

“Titties ‘n beer, titties ‘n beer” – Judge Parker

“She’s got a bet with her sister, who’s a little bit dumb, she could prove any time all men was scum.” Sallie Forth (original artist)

“Why does it hurt when I pee?” – Rex Morgan, M.D.

Catholic girls – 9CL

“She ruled the toads of the short forest – and every newt in Idaho.” Family Circus

“Spent all of my life, tryin’ to grow me a chin” – Dick Tracy

“I wanna be dead – in bed please kill me, ‘cause that would thrill me!” – Funky Winkerbean

“We did it ’till we were uncouncho, and it was useless anymore.” 9CL

“I’m a moron, and this is my wife. She’s frosting a cake with a paper knife.” Judge Parker

“Maybe you should stay with yo’ mama – you’re really kinda stupid and ugly too” – Cathy

“Look here, brother – who you jivin’ with that Cosmick Debris?” – Bizzaro

What’s the ugliest part of your body? – Gil Thorpe

“Watch for where the huskies go, and don’t you eat that yellow snow!” Mother Goose and Grim:

“Be a crew slut” – Luann (recent class play story)

Ship arriving too late to save a drowning witch – Phantom (per Savarna)

“You’re probably wondering why I’m here” – Zippy the Pinhead

“Fuck me, you ugly sonofabitch!” – Luann

Broken hearts are for assholes – 9CL
sugarpie
July 31st, 2010 at 12:32 am [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#137): While I try to avoid envy (as a deadly sin it is one of the least attractive), your lunch today sounds better than any of mine from the past year or two. Yep, I’m definitely envious!
bats :[
July 31st, 2010 at 12:49 am [Reply]

@Mibbitmaker (#38): re BF: I realized two things about the 7/30 strip:
1. the writer is Canadian (wtf? is there something in the water that makes for unlikeable characters?)
2. if you contact her and mention that women who cannot afford mammograms are apparently not real women, to her way of thinking, you don’t get a reply.

(Yeah. I don’t feel about that maxipad slip earlier in the week now.)
bats :[
July 31st, 2010 at 1:09 am [Reply]

7/30

Luann: strangely enough, I liked this one. I think this comes closer to couples’ joking around/give and take than to a 25-yo mooning around like a 15-yo.

7/31

Crankshaft: awww, kind of sweet. Kinda like how my dad saw our pets, a nuisance unless they went on a walkabout.

MT: kind of a nice resolution here. Needs more punching, but maybe Pencilstache McGee can mysteriously end up in the bottom of a filled grain silo.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 31st, 2010 at 1:25 am [Reply]

Pluggers… pretend they actually went somewhere interesting once!

Beetle Bailey — Ha ha… Sarge is impotent!

Gil Thorp — You mean the clown in this storyline ISN’T the one wearing a divot on his head?

Blondie — Dagwood gets de-bunked!

reFOOB — John’s cheap vacation comes to a screeching halt!

Love is… trying not to get splinters in your ass!

Wizard of Id — Bung cleans up nicely!

H & J — Pssst… Jamaal killed a hooker and then told Herb about it!
JasonTKD1981
July 31st, 2010 at 1:31 am [Reply]

Zits: Being nosey a**holes? Check. Being p*ssed that their youngest kid has a life? Check? Yelling instead of apologizing for being a**holes? Check. Jeremy’s parents have turned into John/Elly.

MT: Great idea, Mark. Now the other dogs will be able to run around loose and get hit by cars, too!

S-M: “And my next move to destroy Stark, will be to put an action figure in the toy stores that no one will want: Spin-Blade Iron Man!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! “
Anonymous
July 31st, 2010 at 1:33 am [Reply]

@Girl Reporter (#226):

Man…. It gets me that people can do that and get away with it. Where I used to work at as a slightly above minimum wage cashier (but with union benefits) you needed to have a note from a doctor to have a water bottle at your checkstand. And the supervisors would ask to see the note, too. I’m guessing that a parent who would have asked for a note would have been treated like a cancerous leper in the year 1303.
Mike's Absent Father
July 31st, 2010 at 1:37 am [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#28): I’m not really here. I’m, y’know, absent.
Anonymous
July 31st, 2010 at 1:41 am [Reply]

FW: Looking like a potato with a bad case of mange, Old Funky considers this latest turn of events. Which is a dream and which is reality? After forty-five years of drinking cheap rotgut and sniffing glue, Old Funky can’t tell the difference either.
ElkMeadow
July 31st, 2010 at 1:42 am [Reply]

Whoops, that was me at #236.

@bats :[ (#232): Thanks for doing that, bats:[ I can’t afford one, even though I have my 35% COBRA, as I don’t have the money to pay the deductable.
Rana
July 31st, 2010 at 1:55 am [Reply]

@bats :[ (#232): And even when we can afford them, most of us don’t see them as happy sexy time, as apparently her character does. (Is there anything that character doesn’t see as sexy time?)
Farley's Revenge
July 31st, 2010 at 1:57 am [Reply]

Zits: I don’t get the angst. This isn’t the first time Jeremy’s left his FB page up on his computer nor is it the first time his parents have seen his page. There was a strip a while back where Connie saw Jeremy’s FB page was logged in and did a little “editing” of his profile. Something along the lines of he loved his mother, IIRC. When Jeremy saw that, screaming ensued.

MW: Mary is so excited about Dr. Mike’s comment that he doesn’t need love that she has to clap her hands over her mouth to keep from yipping in meddlegasmic bliss. Never has she come across someone so in need of her efforts. Everything she’s done and said in her life has led her to this moment. Here is her chance to interfere like she’s never interfered before. Or her dentures just about shot out of her mouth. Six of one, half dozen of another.
Sheila Sternwell
July 31st, 2010 at 2:12 am [Reply]

@Bob Weber Jr (#87): Congrats on everything, including spelling your name right!

@Zla’od (#204): It stands for “micturating feoffee.”
Anonymous
July 31st, 2010 at 2:21 am [Reply]

@McManx (#111): “Marmaduke meets Lio” wins the thread, I reckon
Sheila Sternwell
July 31st, 2010 at 2:24 am [Reply]

DT: Holy shit, it’s Mother Carlson, back from the dead!

A3G: Nice subtle jab, Lu Ann. I’m thinking that time spent unconscious in a derelict apartment filled with an assortment of toxic fumes did you some good.
Baka Gaijin
July 31st, 2010 at 2:59 am [Reply]

Saturday’s Strips

Apartment 3-G: “Bring it on! The bigger the change, the better!” Little does she know, Kat has a round trip ticket to Denmark with Tommie’s name on the outgoing segment and Tommy’s name on the return.

Beetle Bailey: When male monkeys are confined with male monkeys for so long then a female joins the pack, the male monkeys will pick on her but lavish love on each other. Seems familiar but I can’t quite place where I’ve seen this dynamic before. Where, where, where?

Heart of the City: “How did YOUR dad get it [the film]?” Blow jobs. Lots and lots of blow jobs, Heart. If you don’t improve your grades, this may be in your future, too. The blow jobs, not the mysterious home movie that looks like it’ll get a million on eBay but is really someone’s early fanfic flick.
Push Trot
July 31st, 2010 at 3:14 am [Reply]

Crankshaft: So, the bitch is back? And I’m not talking about the cat.

Archie: Where’s that shotgun-totin’ home-owner from The Phantom when we need him?

Hagar: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!!
Ahem, sorry.

Popeye: This looks horrible… just plain horrible. First of all, the awful little man looks like something Julius Streicher could have come up with, and now he’s saying all the problems of the world are because there’s too many people, and that he’s going to ‘cure it’? I’m not being funny or anything, I’m horrified. I hope things are going to change dramatically pretty freaking fast, because… Jesus.
Farley's Revenge
July 31st, 2010 at 3:34 am [Reply]

9CL: So Gran spends the night making the sign of the double-humped mastodon with the singer, then somehow manages to stagger to wherever Bill is lurking-apparently in a waiting room, but on the upside, the out-of-date magazines will seem current to him-and promptly picks up with him where they left off so many years ago like she’s not missing Opera Boy one little bit. Uh-huh. Right. As if.

Frankly, I’m still curious about how Gran was so tall when she was younger and is now a shrunken prune. I know some women shrink as they age but c’mon! She went from statuesque to lumpy Hobbit! If we could see her feet, we’d probably notice she needed a good shave on her tootsies. What the heck happened?
Mars
July 31st, 2010 at 4:00 am [Reply]

So not even the “about:config” trick works for the Comics Kingdom Viewer anymore. I think we’re all screwed now.
Roman Fingers
July 31st, 2010 at 4:01 am [Reply]

FC: That’s not “suds” Jeffy–that’s a protein foam formed by the decay of plant and animal life. Yes, by all means, play in the rotting fish.

DtM:I have to admit–I like the play on words.

Lockhorns: I guess his “Official Breast Inspector” t-shirt was in the wash.

MT: Isn’t a “vacant farm” another way to say “field”? Basically Mark is suggesting that the animals just be dumped in an open field, presumably to fend for themselves. It’s probably a good thing they got Sassy back-after a week with no food for the animals, cookie dough would look mighty appetizing.

GT: Flash forward 20 years. Kemper grows up and ruins his father financially. The old man asks where he learned to cheat and steal. Kemper looks at him and says “From you, alright? I learned it by watching you!”

Luann: Hmmm-”easy to be with”. There could be some subtext there, but I’m guessing not. If there was, TJ wouldn’t have to ask how the date was. He’d know, because Brad would have stumbled in at 3AM, shirt half-tucked in, with a doofy look on his face. OK, doofier.

9CL: The first sentence in three days, and it’s a total of six words. It’s called writing.
Norton I Emperor of these United States and Protector of Mexico
July 31st, 2010 at 4:05 am [Reply]

Marmaduke and Audrey II are going to have a people eating contest.
Baka Gaijin
July 31st, 2010 at 4:09 am [Reply]

@Mars (#248): Try the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel.
Baka Gaijin
July 31st, 2010 at 4:18 am [Reply]

Cow and Boy: “You were invited to a party?” “Invited? No.” Which cartoonist(s) could hold this same conversation with their best friend(s)?

Cathy: Ménage à trois. There’s an app for that!
Irving, Cathy & iPhone 4®,
Sittin’ in a tree
Kay eye ess ess eye enn gee!
Reman
July 31st, 2010 at 4:31 am [Reply]

Funky already owned the comic before going back in time, yet now he attributes his purchase of the comic to the time travel episode? He changed nothing, he should have told the younger Funky to buy every issue.
dale
July 31st, 2010 at 5:27 am [Reply]

@bats :[ (#233):

The problem with MT is that we don’t get to see the resolution of the crime story, as was the case with the poachers. What was the guy charged with and how could he be convicted? Officer Murph said he stole the dog. We know he removed it from the pen of someone else who didn’t own the critter. But nobody saw him do it. Maybe Sassy just escaped and Reed found it. Also, it’s not like Sally is running a licensed animal rescue facility.
Ed Dravecky
July 31st, 2010 at 5:38 am [Reply]

ReFOOB: Hold up a second. Elly had the map in her hands on July 1st and July 9th but it’s John who left it on the dresser on July 15th? All so Elly could scream at him today? My sympathy for Rod Johnston just went up another 14%.
chococotton
July 31st, 2010 at 5:50 am [Reply]

MW: This whole “Mary as therapist” thing is bugging me so much that the only thing I can do to take my mind off the stupidity of it is to look at today’s strip and pretend that in the last panel, the bright-green cushion is actually Dr. Mike’s body, and he’s some sort of hunchback. It might sound like a stretch… but so is the thought that Mary spouting Freud and Jung is actually helpful in some way.
zerowolf
July 31st, 2010 at 7:10 am [Reply]

MW: I know what happens if you leave a relationship unresolved, Mary resolves it for you.
zerowolf
July 31st, 2010 at 7:21 am [Reply]

A3G: This radical makeover is moving into its third week with nothing madeover.
zerowolf
July 31st, 2010 at 7:25 am [Reply]

MT: Isn’t anyone going to get punched?
zerowolf
July 31st, 2010 at 7:29 am [Reply]

GT: For the third year in a row vote the Dad most likely to be beaten to death by a nine-iron.
zerowolf
July 31st, 2010 at 7:30 am [Reply]

Luann: I almost feel sorry for TJ. He went out and got a slinky black dress and still Brad doesn’t respond.
vanya
July 31st, 2010 at 7:34 am [Reply]

Mary Worth: Hey! Single Moms! Your sons will never love! Is Phyllis Schlafly writing this strip?

FW: @253 is right. This is not how a time travel twist works. So Funky hallucinated he was that unknown old man who told his younger self to buy the comic. So what? A time travel twist would be if Funky found a mint condition 1970s GI Joe in his jacket.

BC: Holy crap. Is this a reference to Genesis 9:20-25? That’s pretty daring and offensive in a family strip.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 31st, 2010 at 8:33 am [Reply]

posting without reading the overnighter/earlybirds, so apologies for any oversnark.

Zits: Jeremy shows more balls in one panel than Brad has in years.

Luann: speaking of Brad, this is NOT the gayest strip of the day.

IP: This is.

RwO: grooooooaaaaaaannnnnnnn. (also, men don’t wear tutus in ballet.)

MC: awwwww, WoobieWoobieWoobie. also, nice BC ref. *golf clap*

F-: use the hammer, your Honor. No jury will convict you.

OTH: ye gods, all that just to set up THAT old pun?!? Even Jay Ward is shuddering at that one.

Frazz: after midnight, somewhere that it is dark.

A&J: Happy 25th, and here’s looking for many more of such high quality and wonderful strips.

CdS: *snurk*

Lio: not a fish slapping bear, but in the same ballpark.
Baka Gaijin
July 31st, 2010 at 9:08 am [Reply]

One Big Happy: See how Gramma solved that little problem? Imagine if Dr. Mike talked to this gray haired old lady. He’d be on his second date and third base by now, with someone who’s not such a dead fish, so to speak.

Maybe Jenna needs a fish slapping bear instead of Dr. Mike. Ya think?
Mordock999
July 31st, 2010 at 9:24 am [Reply]

Today’s Luann 07/31/10

Oh DON’T worry if Brad KICKS you OUT of the house to make room for Toni, ‘Smiley’.
There’ll be PLENTLY of ROOM for You at the YYYYYYYYMCA!

_____________
DEATH to TJ!!!
John C Fremont
July 31st, 2010 at 9:42 am [Reply]

@Roman Fingers (#249): Having the “privilege” growing up in the country, I saw way too many times what happens when you take dogs to live on a “small farm.” It’s not pretty, and usually ends up involving Joe Don Baker and Richard B. Shull.*

@zerowolf (#257): In Soviet Russia, if you leave a relationship unresolved, the state resolves you! </Yakov voice

Phantom – "…What it is ain't exactly clear."

*The "B" stands for "value!"
Push Trot
July 31st, 2010 at 9:45 am [Reply]

@zerowolf (#259): Perhaps punching is too much to hope for, but I have a hunch that a bunch of dogs are going to Heaven pretty soon – or am I the only one who doubts that the dogs will go off to a farm far, far away, where they can run n’ play all day long?
cheech wizard
July 31st, 2010 at 9:46 am [Reply]

Marmadoom: Well, at least this is better than the time he was wearing human skulls. He does like to show off his victims, though.
zerowolf
July 31st, 2010 at 9:53 am [Reply]

@Push Trot (#267): But Mark Trail without punching is like Mary Worth without meddling….
Baka Gaijin
July 31st, 2010 at 9:58 am [Reply]

@zerowolf (#269): Buh buh but…but Mary Worth’s picture is right there in the dictionary under both “meddle” and “buttinski.”
Écureuil Écumant
July 31st, 2010 at 10:26 am [Reply]

JP: Rex references trumpet as stand-in for phallus: “Trust me, it wouldn’t be pleasant for either of us.” Abbey ripostes “I don’t think ~~Abbey~~ Neddy loves ~~Sam~~ Jules.” And folks, at the end of the first round it looks pretty even. But wait! Sam’s leaving the octagon!
Push Trot
July 31st, 2010 at 10:29 am [Reply]

@zerowolf (#269): Hey, I’m not saying I’m happy about it, but I can’t see punching happening. I blame the Murph – how can we expect Mark to deal out swift justice when there’s an officer of the law standing right next to him? If only it’d been one of those old school Irish beat cop stereotypes, like Sean Connery in The Untouchables.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 31st, 2010 at 10:31 am [Reply]

Mary Worth — Mike must like to put a lot of starch on his ties… the one in today’s strip is stiff as a board! (Geez… I wonder how much starch he puts in his SHORTS?)

Heathcliff — Deep in the heart of text-us!

The Pajama Diaries — I hate to say it, but this also looks like something a PEDOPHILE might keep on hand!

Soup to Nutz — Sounds like a whale of a tale, Andrew!
John C Fremont
July 31st, 2010 at 10:32 am [Reply]

@John C Fremont (#266): You know, I kid Richard B. Shull, but the man was a serious actor and a class act who went out with a heart attack while performing on Broadway! Plus, he went to Iowa State, which gives him something in common with the half of my graduating class that chose not to enroll at “Area XI” which, I think, had something to do with black oil and a couple of young upstarts named Scully and Mulder. Or was it Holmes and Yo-Yo?

Anyway, I like Richard B. Shull, dammit, and I’m not afraid to say so!
Buck Ripsnort
July 31st, 2010 at 10:49 am [Reply]

FW: But the “Starbuck Jones” comic was supposed to replace Comicbook Guy’s rent, so if she spent it on Funk’s hospitalization, then they’re STILL gonna lose Montoni’s, and OOOOH GAWD I’VE ACTUALLY COMMITTED THIS STRIP TO MEMORY GET THE MELON SCOOPER STAT!!!!
Écureuil Écumant
July 31st, 2010 at 10:49 am [Reply]

@Écureuil Écumant (#271): Errrr, “Sam references trumpet…”

I guess I musta got their embouchures mixed up.
Soundman
July 31st, 2010 at 10:59 am [Reply]

Sadly, Bil couldn’t work out a funding deal and “attacking the sea” was the only scene ever filmed from “Jeffy Keane in ‘Li’l Caligula”.
gleeb
July 31st, 2010 at 11:03 am [Reply]

A 3-G: If they change her hair color, how will we know she’s Tommie? Oh right, she’ll still be the one everyone walks all over.

’shaft: True to his nature again, Ed treats the cat like something it dragged in. So what was this week’s comics drollery about? I take away the lesson that Pickles, apart fro the unwelcome attention of rambunctious children could have a marvelous life. And that instead of living that life, he stays around Ed. It’s like some predestined Calvinist damnation, and thus in keeping with Batiuk’s hatred of the world.

Dick: Is that a venetian blind seen close up or a representation of a slab-sided Modernist office tower?

Drabble: Here, we see the argument that no one is truly capable of enjoyment, simply of fulfilling social roles to hope to please others. Look out, Batiuk, there’s someone gunnin’ for ya.

‘bean: Why the look of dull confusion? The readers already knew about this months ago. Oh, I get it, he’s confused at being complimented, especially by his wife.

Gil: As interesting as a comic strip about golf is, I’d like to ask what’s up with Kemper’s head? Is that an attempt at a “Mohawk” haircut? A bad rug? Is he wearing a breaded chicken cutlet on his head? Whatever it is, it distracts from the excitement and drama of teenage golfers.

Non Sequitur: I feel like the villagers in Seven Samurai. It’s going away now, but you know the elephant fairy crud is coming back when the grain is ripe.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 31st, 2010 at 11:18 am [Reply]

@gleeb (#278): re Kemper: he’s trying a Sokka, just without the wolf-tail.
Ed Dravecky
July 31st, 2010 at 11:30 am [Reply]

Luann: Dammit, TJ, it’s not subtext if you keep saying it out loud.
John E.
July 31st, 2010 at 11:31 am [Reply]

@vanya (#262):

Yeah, next on BC – awkward moments between Lot and his daughters at the family reunion…
commodorejohn
July 31st, 2010 at 11:35 am [Reply]

A3G – Kat? Kitty? Give her a sex-change.

A.D. – ??!??!!???!? What…what “incident” would that be, and how does it tie into barbecue? The one where he got blitzed and then his son walked in on him with Li’l Noah hangin’ free? Beats the hell out of me.

BB – Sarge is one of those people who are so completely lost in a specific fetish that they can only get fired up under thusly-dictated circumstances. That’s pathetic, of course, but I’m not really that surprised.

Crankshaft – And the moral of the story is, “Ed Crankshaft might be a spiteful old bastard, but at least he doesn’t stand bemusedly by while his little hellion grandchildren torment a cat.”

FW – You know, people make fun of M. Night Shyamalan for his various awkwardly-enforced twist endings, but…Mr. Shyamalan, sir, we owe you an apology. This right here is much lamer than, say, homicidal mind-control trees.

GT – “Rips a 3-wood.” Thank you, Gil Thorp, for continually ~~enriching~~ enstranging my vocabulary.

JP – I think one of these people is crazy, but I honestly have no idea which.

MT – Next month: the zoning board in Lost Forest causes trouble for a small-farm owner!

MW – My God, I think the strip is about to collapse into a singularity of pure ham.

Pluggers – Pluggers are so old they’ve completely forgotten that Woodstock was one of those God-damn hippie things. Decades prior to the Carter administration have all run together into a single mass of unwarranted pining for a world that never existed.

Popeye – Suddenly Popeye just got completely awesome.

RMMD – So tell me, as thoroughly as Woody Wilson is in love with the smug and super-rich, why does he have such a hate-on for developers?

SF – “Just” a hatchback with a catapult!?

SM – “And I must periodically remind myself of my history and abilities! Or I might forget!”

Edison Lee – GO AWAY AND STOP BEING A JOYLESS LITTLE FUCKWIT.
Josh N.
July 31st, 2010 at 11:48 am [Reply]

Why didn’t I see Ralph from Mother Goose and Grimm in “Dinner for Schmucks?” That little bastard has tried dating everything from a milk carton to a steaming pile of cat feces, all with the most cheerful inanity. What a reassuring representation of the cartoonist’s creativity.
TheDiva
July 31st, 2010 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

DT: GAAAAAAAAH! Why does every woman over the age of 35 in this comic look like she just stared into the Ark of the Covenant?

FW: What a twist!

reFOOB: What a twist!

Luann: Evans is actively trying to get on the TVTropes Ho Yay page, right?

MW: In panel two, a rare appearance by the black void of Mary’s soul.

Pluggers: The exact same sandals? Really? Those things must be held together by duct tape and faith and have an odor that could fell an elephant.
Baka Gaijin
July 31st, 2010 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#282) on Apartment 3-G: Whew! I thought I was crazy thinking the same thing.
Ed Dravecky
July 31st, 2010 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

Apartment 3-G is shaking things up for their upcoming 50th anniversary as Abigail “Tommie” Thompson gets her “big change” wish and becomes Abner “Tommy” Thompson. The trio still shares the apartment but when they meet new landlord Stanley Roper, wackiness ensues!
tb4000
July 31st, 2010 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

Luann: I am waiting for this strip to go the route of Marvel’s Alpha Flight and finally give TJ his Northstar moment.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 31st, 2010 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

@tb4000 (#287): *gigglez* That would be fun to see.
bats :[
July 31st, 2010 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

@Rana (#240): maybe a less happy sexy time for her would to wear a paper examination gown to the local Starbutt’s.
Nah. She’d like it.

@dale (#254): that’s true. But Mark will probably read the outcome of what happens to the Nefarious Puppynapper aloud from the “Lost Forest Dispatch” to Cherry, Pops, and Rusty a couple of weeks from now.
No. Andy will read the article aloud as the family digs into their hot stacks o’ pancakes. Poor Andy–always served last.

@Ed Dravecky (#255): run, ~~Rod~~ John, run! Don’t stop! Don’t look back! You can contact your kids later!

@zerowolf (#269): a little practice for Mark…
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 31st, 2010 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

Prickly family and it’s submitter.

Teh Power of Kewt compels you!
carbunicle
July 31st, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

@Soundman (#277): That is good stuff.
bats :[
July 31st, 2010 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

@Soundman (#277): just remember, Dolly is his sister.
O_o

@Baka Gaijin (#285): we’ve dealt with this before. Well, I have…

And even if Tommie’s hair color is changed, it’ll probably be from a bottle called “Doormat Brunette.”
Rembrandt36
July 31st, 2010 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

9CL: Within two strips of Keisl leaving, Edna/Eva/whatever is already in Bill’s arms. Proof that even Brooke is sick of his own story arc.
dale
July 31st, 2010 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#289):

In re MT: I keep thinking (and wish I couldn’t) about how Dragnet used to end. A trial was held in *impressive name* Court in and for the county of Los Angeles. (in a moment the results of that trial) The defendant was found guilty and is now doing time in some place that good people don’t want to be. Now all you little shits go do your homework.
Ukulele Ike
July 31st, 2010 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

@gleeb (#278): Thorp: Der Wienerschitzelkopf! I love it!

Speaking of which…

9CL: “Snf…snffff…do you smell Nazi spooge, or is it just me?”
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 31st, 2010 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

7/31

Popeye: Your solution is mass genocide? Um, Prof… I think your people had a bad experience with this one a few years back.

SFx: If a crow thinks your shoelace is a worm, that’s a bigger problem for the bird than it is for you.

Pluggers: You see, this profession is filled to the brim with unrealistic motherfuckers. Motherfuckers who thought their ass would age like wine. If you mean it turns to vinegar, it does. If you mean it gets better with age, it don’t.

A3G: Tommie is sadistically gleeful at the thought of further confusing comics readers. See? There is something edgy about her.

D-Bert: Guess you can’t work with Wally for twenty years without learning something.

A&J: Thank you Jimmy Johnson. And Janis looks much better with short hair.

S4th: On a non-snarky note, I do like the way Ces finishes with two punchlines a lot of the time. They tend to complement each other for a funnier overall effect.

FC: Jeffy’s discovered where Daddy keeps the beer.

MW: Yes Dr. Roberts, we can all see how over it you are.

9CL: “You’re home now from the war. And the ten-odd additional years of cowardice. Kudos.”

GA: The Pye brothers’ latest con is more likely to get a bunch of innocent circus animals taken away and executed than it is to net them any cash. There goes whatever vestigial respect I may have had for them.

BB: “She can learn to sublimate, dammit, just like the rest of us do.”

WofI: So now we can narrow it down a little further on the question of when Wizard of Id is set. It takes place sometime in the era when Shamwow jokes were current.

Phantom: “The old person stench is thicker than usual.”

GT: “Sorry, dad. Something keeps distracting me during games. Can’t imagine what.”

Lockhorns: “Don’t you remember the last time, when that woman died?”
Push Trot
July 31st, 2010 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

An excerpt from the local news:

The local political community was shocked today by the arrest of one of the most recognized community organizers, Mr. Roger Reed.
Mr. Reed has in his long history of public involvement spearheaded a number of projects, from the intercity basketball team to the relocation of the old city dump. The lastest of his public involvements, as our reader may be aware, was an initiative to close an unlicesened dog pound. The pound has been causing the neighbors a great deal of unease, partially because of the smell and noise, but also because of the fear of ill-treatment of the dogs on account of the supposed ineptitude of the owner, an elderly woman known in the neighborhood only as ‘Sally’.
Surprisingly, the arrest of Mr. Reed today was on account of him breaking into this very pound and stealing a small puppy of indeterminate origin. Luckily this reporter found himself on the scene of the arrest, and was able to land an exclusive interview with Mr. Reed before he was led away by the police.
When asked why on earth he would risk ruining his reputation and livelihood by stealing a puppy, he at first tried to avoid answering the question, until finally blurting out: “I… I don’t know. It all seem so silly now. It was like, like I was being watched. Yes, that’s it. I was being watched by these …people. All of them watching me, all of them wanting me to do something… evil. I know this will sound insane to you, but is clear as day to me. They said it was my moustache. My moustache! Ah, ha ha ha!” From then on I was unable to make any sense of his statements.
“It’s a sad, sad thing”, said Pat Murphy, the arresting officer. “I’ve been walking this beat since 1927, and I’ve never seen anything as bad as this before, to be sure.” He shook his head, and continued to shake it as he led the still rambling man to the waiting car.
Aviatrix
July 31st, 2010 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

@Anonymous (#236): I could get my doctor to write that:

To Whom It May Concern: On account of Aviatrix being a human being, whose body chemistry is water based, her health requires her to have access to fresh drinking water at her work station at all times.

Would that do? Did you need a note to get access to oxygen, too?
Violet
July 31st, 2010 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

You know it’s a great date when you’re home watching TV with TJ by ten-thirty. “Wow, you know what, TJ? America really does got talent!”
Mibbitmaker
July 31st, 2010 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

The DOONES ZONE
Da-daaaaaaaa-da-da-da-da-da-da-DUN!

Serling: “The following is merely a commentary on the content of the strip in question, and not necessarily an opinion of Mrs. Palin one way or another…..”

Doll: “My name is Talking Looks-Like-Tina [*], and I don’t come cheap, Buster!”
Aviatrix
July 31st, 2010 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

@Push Trot (#267): When I was a little kid, my parents told me that the dog ran away too much, so they had found it a new home on a farm where it could run around all it wanted and be happy. I’ve actually told or recalled this story dozens, possibly hundreds of times without noticing until today that it perfectly matches the cliché of what you tell small children when their dog is dead. Holy crap. My parents smoked my dog. Where’s the green couch? I have some punching to do!
Ed Dravecky
July 31st, 2010 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

9CL: “Bill, you’re home now, from the war. By home, I mean you’re about to be ridden like Seabiscuit. And by war, I mean even the frickin’ Korean War has been over for two years now, so where the hell have you been hiding?”
Baka Gaijin
July 31st, 2010 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#301): The avacado green couch is in 1973, next to the harvest gold kitchen appliances, along with the idea that a woman can’t possibly be happy until she has trapped a man into marriage. I didn’t mention Jenna or Mrs. Worth but don’t let that stop you from making the connection.
Baka Gaijin
July 31st, 2010 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

Did I scare everyone off with my misspelling of “avocado?”
Poteet
July 31st, 2010 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

9CL — “Bill, you’re home. Because I am Home, the Universal Home. I’m the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the Destination To Which All Military Personnel Aspire. Plus I totes forgive you for making me think you were dead for ten years, and on top of that, I’m one fabulous lay. Allow me to demonstrate!”
GotFuzzy
July 31st, 2010 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#304): Yes, yes you did ;-)

Personally, I’ve been stunned into silence by the revelation in 9CL that Edie/Eva/Echidna can cure a nasty case of dick-got-shot-offness. That, or that Pluggers went to college.
Poteet
July 31st, 2010 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

@Anonymous (#236): Deep retrospective sympathy. That’s beyond stupid.
Push Trot
July 31st, 2010 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#301): I’d say doing the green couch would be a case of the remedy being worse than the disease. I’d at least give electroshock, leeches and trepanning a try before contacting Mary Worth.

And it’s not completely impossible that the dog went off to a farm somewhere. I’d really hate to have ruined your weekend.
Push Trot
July 31st, 2010 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

@Anonymous (#236):
@Aviatrix (#298):
What about:

To Whom It May Concern: What are you, insane?

And that must’ve be one sorry union.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 31st, 2010 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

for bb,u and other raccoon fans.

Lab-pup squee.
Écureuil Écumant
July 31st, 2010 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#310): “I didn’ think you’d miss one little tomater, Mister Squarl, truly I did’n… I swan I won’t swipe no more of ‘m, promise I won’t!”
Buck Ripsnort
July 31st, 2010 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

@GotFuzzy (#306): 9CL: Sort of the opposite of The Sun Also Rises. Inasmuch as that was GOOD writing.
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
July 31st, 2010 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#199): This is my whole , repeated over and over point: it does not look better!

In my opinion.
Mibbitmaker
July 31st, 2010 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

DT: Mrs. D’ is, indeed, Mama Carlson. Since we also see a city scene with wacky comedy going on in one of its buildings, clearly this is WKRP in Cincinati.

FW: And, like Funky’s “better” moves, they were done when he was a teenager.

Garfield: Maybe NBC will cancel it, Garfield — they’ve done it before! (bad karma, NBC!)

JP: Oh, give it a rest, can boy!

MT: Jeez, Trail has more “friends” than Michelle’s nemesis Peaches!

MW: You forget, Doc Mike — LOVE (L.U.V.) is to Mary what (a perverted form of) Islam is to Osama bin-Laden: No person on earth is allowed to not choose that way of life. Mary, at least, isn’t violent about it, if you don’t count interventions.

Zits: “Keeping Up With The DeGroots” will be right back after these commercial messages…..
TIM
July 31st, 2010 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

I think Comic Strips will be the next thing to vanish from the pop culture
landscape. Like Soap opera which are slowing dissapearing, with the
newspaper business losing money, comic strips that are not making money
will be next. Annie was first, then Dick Tracy, Gasoline Alley, maybe
Hi & Lois, Beetle Baily ect. The greats of course will remain.
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
July 31st, 2010 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

@TIM (#315): In your opinion, what are The Greats? Agnes?
Ed Dravecky
July 31st, 2010 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

@TIM (#315): Unlike a soap opera which requires dozens of cast and crew plus significant amounts of money to create at a professional level, comics strips require only one person to conceive, create, and distribute. The success of Penny Arcade, xkcd, and so many others proves that comic strips will outlive the print newspaper. What will fall by the wayside are the strips just getting by on inertia rather than any creative spark. (Yes, I’m looking at you, about half the strips in the Dallas Morning News.)
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 31st, 2010 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#263): Whatt’s “IP”? Outside of famed author/urologist IP Daley, I mean.
Nick Theodorakis
July 31st, 2010 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

@GotFuzzy (#306):

In the 9CL-iverse, all they need are their hands.

Nick
Darryl Heine
July 31st, 2010 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

The Family Circus “I hit the ocean” is part of a rerun package of a Family Circus beach vacation from 1976 (which was also rerun in 2005).
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 31st, 2010 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#318): Ink Pen
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 31st, 2010 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

*grrrrr*

I hate “edited for TV” versions of movies that I like. >.<
Aviatrix
July 31st, 2010 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

@John C Fremont (#266): Sally recruits her animals in the inner city, where she meets many sadly delusional people like Mark. She, unlike Mark and me, knows what it means to send a dog to a happy farm in the countryside.

@Push Trot (#308): It hasn’t been so much a downer as a revelation. I held two parallel ideas in my head all this time and their connection brought new knowledge. It’s exciting to wonder what else I know that, correctly combined, could do the same. A cure for cancer is too much to hope for, isn’t it?
Écureuil Écumant
July 31st, 2010 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

FC: We’re a bit hasty if we assume Jeffy’s projectile is a rock. Its regular lobulations remind me much more of a rabbit’s brain … yet not quite, and I shrink from attempting to classify it any more particularly. But Jeffy, having jettisoned it, seems only relieved. Nay, released! Verily, glilding forever through that sea of sparkling warm milk.
Poteet
July 31st, 2010 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

@Darryl Heine (#320): They only waited five years this time? At this rate, I suppose the next rerun of these strips will occur in 2011.
tb4000
July 31st, 2010 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

@Ed Dravecky (#317):

Yeah, with the currently popularity of webcomics, as risque as they can get due to the freedom of the webz, i doubt comic strips are going anywhere. I would like to see some of our favorite cartoonists do some stuff online where they can have carte blanche to say and draw anything though.
Poteet
July 31st, 2010 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

CRANKSHAFT — This story is so heartwarming. Gee, I wonder where Pickles is. Not enough to look for him or ask the neighbors or call the animal shelter, of course, or perhaps even rethink my policy of just letting him wander wherever he wants. But I do kind of wonder. Meanwhile, the other protagonist lets her grandchildren torment Pickles while she smiles and looks the other way.

Batiuk, your world sucks.
bats :[
July 31st, 2010 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

@Darryl Heine (#320): really? This is a rerun of a refun, with only five years between the second and third runs? That effin’ sucks.
Nordstrom Lundquist III
July 31st, 2010 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

Jeffy has grown stupider and stupider in the last few weeks. I’m pretty sure PJ is already whipping him regularly in games of “peekaboo.”

“Mommy! PJ’s invisible!”
Poteet
July 31st, 2010 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

S-M — If the Puppet Weirdo can keep repeating himself, so can I. I still want to know if he lets Iron Man use the head.
Voxel
August 1st, 2010 at 12:31 am [Reply]

@Bitter Scribe (#37): Yeah, that was my reaction. What’s the non-’terrifying demon hound alternate narrative’ version of what’s going on here? That’s almost certainly a decomposing human arm. So it’s either a zombie or an incompletely buried victim. Either way, there’s a corpse buried next to the doghouse. What the hell, illegible signatured comic artist, what the hell?
Farley's Revenge
August 1st, 2010 at 12:34 am [Reply]

9CL: If, after some hot hand work*, E-nonymous develops a wart, would she think she was pregnant?

*I will never be able to look at hand work in sewing again without sniggering.
bats :[
August 1st, 2010 at 1:27 am [Reply]

8/1 MW: Dr. Mike appears to be vertical. Please please please let this session be over.
Or not…
Artist formerly known as Ben
August 1st, 2010 at 1:59 am [Reply]

@Mibbitmaker (#300): I see what you did there, and I like it

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#321): Ah, thanks. It threw me at first because I was desperately looking through the chron.com strips for something starting with the letter “i”. Only later did I remember not to make an ass of u and me.
This Guy
August 1st, 2010 at 2:12 am [Reply]

@Girl Reporter (#226): And incidents like that only serve to enhance the other big myth about TS, which is that “Oh, they could stop it if they really tried.” Well, we can’t. At all. I mean, you can exert yourself to postpone a tic for a very short time, generally measured in seconds, but it’ll come through, and it’ll probably all the stronger for it. This lady sounds like a real-life Eric Cartman. And thanks to all the misinformation going around thanks to… people… like Dr. Laura, the parents and other staff at the station wouldn’t have known enough to dispute her.
Farley's Revenge
August 1st, 2010 at 2:30 am [Reply]

True Fable! Lookee what I found for you!

http://purinaanimalallstars.yahoo.com/?v=7888575
Rocky Stoneaxe
August 1st, 2010 at 2:45 am [Reply]

Funky Winkerbean — Crazy Harry talks about finding a cure for Alzheimer’s and most forms of cancer… BLASPHEMY!!!

The Pajama Diaries — It seemed L-I-K-E a good idea at the time!

Edge City — Grandma’s neighbors get cheeky with Colin and Carly!

Mutts — Ozzie likes to kvetch about playing fetch with Earl!
Rocky Stoneaxe
August 1st, 2010 at 3:48 am [Reply]

Apt. 3-G — Hearing about Lu Ann’s pain and suffering has driven Margo into a feeding frenzy!

Crankshaft — Only Ed’s dapper son-in-law would think to color coordinate his suit jacket with this week’s church program!

Pluggers… like to keep shredded newspapers on the floor for when they take a dump!

Rex Morgan — June’s unnaturally elongated face in the last panel will haunt my dreams tonight!
Sterling
August 1st, 2010 at 5:04 am [Reply]

Very good, Jeffy. Now bring that rock back, and don’t come up until you do.
Push Trot
August 1st, 2010 at 5:04 am [Reply]

A3G: That Kat fails to provoke Tommie by calling her a ‘frumpy loser’ is no surprise. Trying to humiliate Tommy is like throwing water at a lake.

BB: I think Beetle’s dead.

Crankshaft: “The Power of Christ compels you!”

FC: All I can say Jeffy, is you’d better get used to failure.

FW: Leave it to Funky Winkerbean to find the downside to curing Alzheimer’s and cancer.

Hi and Lois: Well, let’s see: There’s General Halftrack from Beetle Bailey, there’s the King from The Wizard of Id, there’s Gil Thorp and his students, there’s Hagar the Horrible…

MW: I think Mary’s barking up the wrong tree. Dr. Mike has already admitted he has strong feelings for Jenna. His ony problem seems to be about fear of abandonment. Why does she keep saying he has problems with loving people?
Oh, right, she’s an old, crazy lady.

S-M: Well, Peter, that’s the last thing anybody needs.
Roman Fingers
August 1st, 2010 at 5:14 am [Reply]

MW: Gosh, you’re right, Mary. In fifteen years of medical practice, I had never once considered that my “father issues” might affect my relationships. You’re so wise, Mary.

JP: Never doubt yourself. Even if what you’re doing is stupid and foolish.

A3G: It appears that Tommie’s conversion to a Stepford woman is complete. While she was being brainwashed, and Lu Ann felt sorry for herself, Margo put her free time to good use digging the escape tunnel.

BaBlu: Drunk? OK. Standing on a pool table in your underwear? No problem. Abba medley? You, sir, have breached the bounds of decency.

Cranky: OK, I’ll admit it took me about four readings to get the wordplay. Ed shouldn’t worry–those Schmenge Brothers rock!

FC: Today, Jeffy learns that no matter how hard you work, you’re always one rogue wave away from having your dreams shattered. Which means that today’s guest artist is Tom Batiuk.

9CL: Oh, goody. Thorax. That’s always interesting reading.

Marm: Multiple Marmadukes in the last two panels means he must have crossed his own time stream. This could blow a whole in the universe the size of, well, Belgium, at least.

Pluggers: Let’s just say the comics are the only part that’s, well, used.

Blondie: Looks more like “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hedgeclippers”.
Roman Fingers
August 1st, 2010 at 5:26 am [Reply]

Marm: “whole”=”hole”
Luckily, there’s a sale going on at “Homonyms R Us”
This Guy
August 1st, 2010 at 6:02 am [Reply]

8/1
9CL: After my second encounter with this ~~Head~~ ~~Abdomen~~ Thorax character, I can say with total certainty that he serves no other purpose than to give Brooke (Plrooke?) an opportunity to dazzle the readers with his balletic prose. The formula seems to be: T. makes an insane suggestion for no reason, another character points out how insane it is, T. insults the other character. Wow. Brooke can’t manage to do with hundreds of words what Hemingway (supposedly) did with six.
True Fable
August 1st, 2010 at 6:34 am [Reply]

@Farley’s Revenge (#336): GOAT! Flying goat!! Baby Flying Goat!!

Thanks! I love that one!
True Fable
August 1st, 2010 at 6:52 am [Reply]

Sunday Worth Mary must be making a Very Important Point, because she’s gone all half blue/ half yellow, and we all know what THAT means. Platitudes R Us!

Sunday Fist O Justice Matinee! Oh look, it’s my co-worker, The Bitch From Hell.

Sam Driver’s Pretty People Posse!(plus Jules!) Oh oh Neddy; you’ve done it now. You’re talking mean to Sam’s Bestest New Friend. If that’s soda in his hands, he’ll probably give you a scolding for being so hateful. If that’s beer in his hands, he’s going to kick your ass and then take Jules for himself. Hey, problem solved.

Sunday Winkerwonder When Funky’s not in it, the strip has a 50% chance of being amusing, as in today’s. However, Les IS, so the smirkage counters that by half. It’s still a miserable world they live in, but you have to have Crazy Harry over ever day to bear it.

Children of the Circle Jeffy is taking Funky Winkerbean lessons.

The BEE GRINDING AWARDS SPECIAL MID-YEAR AWARD FOR MOST AWESOME PANEL! goes to Apartment 3-G for the next to the last panel. Margo Magee saying, “Let’s bust out of this joint!” Honey, we thought we’d never hear you say it.
zerowolf
August 1st, 2010 at 7:40 am [Reply]

A3G: Jailbreak!
zerowolf
August 1st, 2010 at 7:44 am [Reply]

FC: By itself the second scene looks like Jeffy had explosive diarrhea
zerowolf
August 1st, 2010 at 7:48 am [Reply]

RMMD: I find this plot to be completely unbelievable. Where I’m from the local developer doesn’t run for mayor, he BUYS the mayor.
zerowolf
August 1st, 2010 at 7:49 am [Reply]

Zits: I’ve got to get me one of those devices…
zerowolf
August 1st, 2010 at 7:54 am [Reply]

Luann: Bored watching ice melt? You and Bernice could go outside and watch the grass grow instead.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
August 1st, 2010 at 8:04 am [Reply]

MC: nice literary reference. *applause* (and yes, I googled it.)

PV: called it. Such an innocent way of saying that Pru rode Ig like a cowgirl . . .

Luann: implied perky nips, panel 4. [*]

Foxtrot: more implied ice + perkies.

A&J: bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! I lol’d.

MT: Musky!

9CL: Thorax. tl;dr.

many of the usual suspects were pretty “meh” today. :-/

posted without reading the overbirds and early nighters, so apologies for any oversnark.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
August 1st, 2010 at 8:10 am [Reply]

folks who don’t usually do webcomics really should check out today’s Sinfest. It’s a doozy, and very comics related.
Écureuil Écumant
August 1st, 2010 at 8:22 am [Reply]

FW: But if, they discovered that oil of snake couldn’t cure Alzheimer’s and cancer, here’s how they’d market it:

Funky Winkerboil
zerowolf
August 1st, 2010 at 8:30 am [Reply]

MT: Muskie are the Margo of the fish world.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
August 1st, 2010 at 8:31 am [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#334): yeah, hazards of forgetting that The Chron doesn’t carry *everything*. Yahoo, gocomics and any of the Comics Kingdom sites still have their uses. :-D
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
August 1st, 2010 at 8:32 am [Reply]

@zerowolf (#354): apex predator, hard to land, toothy, good eating.

yup. They are. :-D
Baka Gaijin
August 1st, 2010 at 8:38 am [Reply]

Sunday’s Strips:

Slylock Fox Mystery: Oh, come on now. We all know it was Reeky Rat. His lookouts are still right there at the scene of the crime. Before he can get to the Forest Pawn Shop, Cassandra use her wiles and end up with the jewelry around her neck and Reeky brokenhearted on the sidewalk.

Marvin: What a hypocrite. That ain’t a Baby Ruth floating in your pool.

Oh, Brother!: Where’s the cow? Where’s the flying cow??? You can’t have a proper windy scene without a cow blowing in the wind.

Zits: My universe is imploding. Zits was actually amusing. Not just “Comics Curmudgeon” funny but funny for anyone.

Pluggers: Pluggers feed their grandkids animal food!

Arlo and Janis: Wins award for “Best use of vuvuzuela outside South Africa.”

Henry: You can bet Sassy wouldn’t do that. Andy, yes, in a heartbeat.
A Dude in Dallas
August 1st, 2010 at 8:47 am [Reply]

Way to start off the month, TB! After watching Funky run around in a neck collar and suffer a non-healing forehead wound for a couple weeks, I had forgotten that cancer will kill me because nobody will be able to sell the cure for it.
gleeb
August 1st, 2010 at 8:51 am [Reply]

Slylock: I think the main reason for suspicion is that the Forest Museum is not in the forest.

‘bean: So, if you’ve known a guy all your life, and he’s called “Crazy”, why are you surprised when he says something eccentric?

Dick: Crimestoppers Textbook sez, “Join a gang for safety!”
wossname
August 1st, 2010 at 9:40 am [Reply]

DT crimestoppers textbook – See how secure those two guys look because they have each other? Together, they can deal with any threat from that shadowy sinister woman.

A3G – And does this steakhouse happen to serve cherry cola and gin?

MT – Whoa, dude – giant cannibalistic fish! Far out!

MC – Double win (assuming Ed doesn’t plan on following up on the flag discovery).
Baka Gaijin
August 1st, 2010 at 10:11 am [Reply]

One Big Happy: Within the next year expect to see Joe’s red-faced angry visage surrounded by what appears to be a tornado’s aftermath splashed across CNN.com, captioned “Small boy opens extra-large can of Whoop-Ass at local WalMart.” The story contains quotes him, “My lucky underpants are missing for the sixth day. New underpants are six for six dollars. SIX! I have an issue with the number six. My socks itch.”
John C Fremont
August 1st, 2010 at 10:16 am [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#338): Yeah, last-panel-June Morgan creeped me out, too. She looks kind of like a character from one of those weird Chuck Jones “Tom and Jerry” cartoons.

SFx – I’ve got to cry foul here. I already examined the door and noted that the hinges clearly open outward, not inward. That light not withstanding, that door opens outward toward the trash cans, darn it! Now if you’ll excuse me, my PT Cruiser told me I have to take all of the spices out of my spice rack.

9CL – Pleefwit!

JP – I woke up with that horrible “Lonesome Loser” song stuck in my head and had no idea why. Now it all makes sense. A generation ago, when Jupiter aligned with Mars, it dawned the Age of Aquarius. In 2010 it means we get a Woody Wilson/Little River Band connection. I just know Batiuk’s behind this, pulling the strings just like Jimmy Webb on that Fifth Dimension special.

MT – “Muskellunge Susie, Muskellunge Sam,
Eatin’ their children down in Muskellunge land
As they scramble,
’cause a Muskie’s a cannibal…

Looks like Muskellunge loo-o-o-ooooo-oo-ove.”

Goodnight, Gracy! And Mrs. Callabash! And Springfield!
TheDiva
August 1st, 2010 at 10:21 am [Reply]

C’shaft: Will Weird Al be doing the music? Cause I really want to hear his polka rendition of “Amazing Grace”…

FW: Les resents even the thought that The Kids These Days might be free of slow-acting, traumatizing illnesses.

MC: I don’t care if the flag is followed up on or not, as long as he makes good on the promise that he’ll drop the Lost thing.

MW: “Love is like oxygen! Love is a many splendored thing! Love lifts us up where we belong! All you need is love!”
Ukulele Ike
August 1st, 2010 at 10:37 am [Reply]

DT Crimestoppers: That’s not two guys; that’s a skid-row ventriloquist and his dummy.

MC: Damn it, I had to Google it, too. My initial instinct was that the flag had something to do with Tom Pyncheon’s muted post-horn. Wrong kind of horn.

Yesterday’s 9CL: My forecast: O’Malley’s had his manly bits shot off in the war, but Edna marries him anyway. When she turns out to be pregnant, both become bitter and angry. Juliette is Keisl’s kid, but we never see him again. O’Malley drinks himself to death; Edna stays bitter and angry up to this very day.

queek @ 352: You beat me to the shout-out again. Today’s Sinfest is a thing of beauty.
Chyron HR
August 1st, 2010 at 10:41 am [Reply]

9CL – What a load of plollocks.
mr 12 oz can
August 1st, 2010 at 10:45 am [Reply]

mary worth- when mary finds mikes father she will find that the thing that pushed him over the edge was hes now married to mikes high school sweetheart !! she will probably look like dawn and wear all aquamarine colored clothes .i wonder where mary gets the energy to keep moving the chair to different sides of the couch and also put the table and lamp outside .
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
August 1st, 2010 at 10:48 am [Reply]

@Ukulele Ike (#364): aye, that it is. It’s good enough as a stand-alone Sunday strip, but having seen several weeks worth of strips all weaving together to form the background makes it even more awesome. [*]
Hi There
August 1st, 2010 at 10:57 am [Reply]

MEMO TO BATIUK

The cartoon syndicate copyeditors send their revisions.

You wrote:
“What if we were to discover oil from a snake would cure Alzheimer’s,” says Crazy Harry. “As well as most forms of cancer. How on earth would they market it?”

They suggest:
“What if we were to discover that cells from umbilical cords would cure Alzheimer’s,” says Crazy Harry. “As well as most forms of cancer. How on earth would they market it?”

The copywriters wish to point out that there really is research on the use of stem cells derived from umbilical cords for the treatment of certain diseases. Thus, the reference to ‘snakes’ does not make sense in any medical context. Please advise us as to whether this reference is actually a ‘joke’ and, therefore, should be left alone.

Also, the copyeditors wonder whether the use of the word ‘cancer’ in Sunday’s comic strip is some sort of foreshadowing. If so, they have a number of books and articles they’d like to send you that describe the fundamentals in terms of cancer treatment, general hospital procedures, and the enforcement of the legal code. That way, they won’t have to inundate you with multiple revisions as they did the last time you explored this subject.

The copyeditors wish you a speedy recovery from that nasty fall down the cellar stairs and look forward to seeing you incorporate it into next year’s story line
DairyStateDad
August 1st, 2010 at 11:04 am [Reply]

(I’ve skipped the comments to post, so apologies in advance for any duplication…)

8/1/10

FC: The Ocean gets its revenge on Jeffy for “hitting it” two days ago.

Pluggers: The crazy thing is, that’s her husband.

H&J: Lazy husbands!!!! amirite???
Buck Ripsnort
August 1st, 2010 at 11:31 am [Reply]

@Hi There (#368): “Snake Oil” is long-standing name for any quack remedy. Therefore, IF it was found that oil from snakes cured diseases, they couldn’t market it as “Snake Oil.” See?
Breaking w/ tradition, there IS a joke in today’s FW, but at least Batiuk makes it revolve around disease and death, like old times.
commodorejohn
August 1st, 2010 at 11:33 am [Reply]

A3G – FUCK YEAH, MARGO’S GONNA JAILBREAK!!!

A.D. – Weird and amusing and kind of xkcd-ish. I like it.

BB – Ha ha! It’s funny because Beetle’s dead!

Blondie – Someone does martial-arts topiary and it’s not Ranma ½? *boggles*

Crock – …I’m just going to go burn my computer now.

Curtis – The Deliverator he’s not.

FC – I am filled with dark glee.

FW – Cancer, cancer! Always with the cancer! Always with the Alzheimer’s! Look at you, “poor me, I’m just an old man, nobody cares about the things I have to worry about!” What, you think there’s no other diseases need curing? Feh!

JP – Whoa, Neddy, did you run into Margo in Paris or something?

MT – “Big enough to swallow a Swede!“ [*]

MW – I swear there was a shot of Peter Cushing in Star Wars that was exactly like that splash panel, but Google Image Search isn’t helping me locate it.

MC – … [*]

Phantom – You know what would be interesting? If the comic brought up the issue of the appropriacy and morality of vigilantism and then dealt with it in an interesting and thoughtful manner. You know what wouldn’t be all that interesting? If the comic brought up the issue of the appropriacy and morality of vigilantism as a token conversation piece and then dropped it without further thought.

PV – Hooo! Potion party!!!

RMMD – It’s the little details that really make this awesome. For instance, we’re all well and truly familiar with Rex’s lame excuses for not spending time with his wife (“I’ll get a bite to eat in town!” is pretty standard fare for this strip, really.) But what’s really special about today’s strip is the last panel, in which June leans in for a kiss and Rex leans away so that she never actually makes skin contact. That’s just gold.

SM – Gah. Watching newspaper Spider-Man try for some of the pathos that might conceivably be evoked by a competent, interesting writer on the subject of Tony Stark’s inner demons is just painful. I’m not even a comic-book fan and it hurts.

Edison Lee – Oh good. We needed another Between Friends.
Hi There
August 1st, 2010 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

MEMO TO BATIUK
cc: Buck Ripsnort

Now that the ‘joke’ has been explained, the cartoon syndicate copyeditors will leave the reference to snakes in Sunday’s comic strip.
Ed Dravecky
August 1st, 2010 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

Whoops, typed these up but forgot to post ‘em for 7/31…

B.C.: “I’m sorry, Noah, but we were hungry, the kid’s name was Ham, and we had no idea he was your son.” [*]

Hi & Lois: Poor Chip thinks fishing is slow? Wait until he tries downloading an app over AT&T’s craptastic Edge network!

Judge Parker: I bet this isn’t the first time that Sam has told his wife “Trust me, it wouldn’t be pleasant for either of us!” and she’s quickly changed the subject.

My Cage: Nice Bloom County reference, Ed Power. Well played.

Rex Morgan, HIPAA: “Say, Rex, just who is the mayor’s opponent and how much do you think he’d pay for juicy dirt like this? Well, gotta run! Mustard yellow shirts don’t buy themselves, you know.”

Ha! Ziggy is funny because is cat is about to pe–ah, who am I kidding? There’s nothing funny about Ziggy, pretty much ever.
Aviatrix
August 1st, 2010 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#360): I thought those two guys were the reason you should go out in large groups, as defence against them.

Blondie would be amusing if the hedge were drawn as if it needed trimming in the first place.
wossname
August 1st, 2010 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#374): I thought that too. I was being silly.
Aviatrix
August 1st, 2010 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#375): It took me decades to figure out that my dog died, and you expect me to catch “silly” on the first pass?
Aviatrix
August 1st, 2010 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

And while I’m showcasing my naïvité, could someone please explain Crankshaft? What does St. Luke have to do with polka?
Snapdragon
August 1st, 2010 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

9CL: Age Kiesl, output = Thorax.
It all makes sense now.
Losing Edna/Eva/whateva caused his brain to slip.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
August 1st, 2010 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

Sassy otter risks rebuke from the Didactic Duo.

Squee, thy name is Lab pup.

For True Fable.

the whole Lol-network wasn’t working for me earlier, so here’s some belated squee.
Ed Dravecky
August 1st, 2010 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

The new ~~phone book~~ thread is here! The new ~~phone book~~ thread is here!
True Fable
August 1st, 2010 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#379):

SQUEE!!!!!!
Disingenuous Penguin
August 2nd, 2010 at 4:24 am [Reply]

It’s about time the zombified remains of one of Marmaduke’s victims came back to haunt him. However, I have an uneasy feeling that our zombie protagonist is only going to once again succumb to the gaping maw of death, the eternal tormentor that is Marmaduke, the vicious reaper who never stops killing you. Even once you’re dead.
Revenge of Chesnut
August 3rd, 2010 at 3:41 am [Reply]

I’m not going to lie; I’ve been through counseling a few times, but it never looked so GREEN as in Mary Worth. I guess I just needed color therapy to cure my depression! What was I thinking?

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Jeffy is not the worst thing that’s happened to the ocean, not by a long shot

383 responses to “Jeffy is not the worst thing that’s happened to the ocean, not by a long shot”

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