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Metapost: Triumphant return comments of the week!

Hello, everybody! I have returned from my Northwesterly sojourn and am as ever extremely grateful for Uncle Lumpy’s incomparable guest-hosting duties. And I am of course also extremely grateful to everyone who gave money in last week’s fundraiser! You will all be getting individual thank-yous this week, obviously, but for now I give a blanket thanks.

Uncle Lumpy was also kind enough to keep a list of the most amusing comments you made this week! Here is the top comment, chosen from his curated list using the top-secret COTW algorithm:

“This whole makeover story is what Sex and the City would have been if it was written by heterosexual men.” –Gabacho

And the runners up! Also funny!

Mary Worth: “If I could invent a way to stab comic characters through the Internet I’d be rich!” — Dan

Pibgorn: “This is a little like a ‘choose your own adventure’ book written by someone high on mescaline who spent too much time reading Ann Rice books and staring at 1970s van art.” — Hank

“Re-running a Pluggers without any notification is about as Pluggers as it gets.” –Dood

Dennis the Menace: “Margaret: ‘Maybe someday we’ll share the same last name, Dennis.’ Dennis: ‘Yeah, and then you’ll write Gone with the Wind!” –[Old Man] Muffaroo

Spider-Man: “HAHA! I am going to take control of Tony Stark to blow up a plane! No! Nevermind that! My real plan is to show the city my power! I mean, make the city terrified of Stark! Actually, my plan is to disgrace and then destroy Stark. Because… because… for… uh… for vengeance of course! That’s the ticket! Yeah, I’ll get revenge by making him kill Spider-Man! That’s my plan! Has been all along! Yes, my plan! My perfect plan to… to… to destroy Stark Industries! Yes that’s my plan! My perfect plan to destroy Stark industries… as a means of killing Spider-Man because… because… he’s the ultimate victim! For my revenge! Which is to make Spider-Man afraid of Iron Man! Yes, yes! My plan is coming together — my perfect, unchanging plan to disgrace Spider Man! Soon! Soon! Soon my plan, which has been and always will be to turn Tony Stark into a murderer, will be accomplished! MWAHAHAHAHA!” –Le Pompadour de Lynch

Funky Winkerbean: “Patrons be forewarned: No one will be seated during the spinechilling ‘walking through the door and looking at his watch’ scene!” –Pop Goes the Weasel

“The thought of a bus full of elementary-school children crying out in cornpone terror (‘Please, Gawd, naw! Don’t let me kick th’ buckit!’) is just too much for me to handle. But then — I’ve just remembered — that bus can’t have passengers, because there’s no way little children actually go to school in Gasoline Alley. Phew.” –Mollie

Luann: “Hi Tiffany, can we use you as bait?” –zerowolf

Brenda Starr: “Yes, it’s quite the chic thing for Bubba Haskins to stop by and get a mess of crickets or redworms to take to the river and fish, and while he’s gone his girlfriend Amber Faye Handful will stretch out under the tanning lamps until she’s the exact shade of her Lane hope chest she got at graduation back a while. Ain’t nothin’ like an all-purpose gas station/shit-n-git…” –True Fable

Pluggers: “The only explanation for a graveyard that crowded is that pluggers purchase vertical burial plots as a space/cost saving move. But no that can’t be right, most pluggers are just as wide as they are tall so that wouldn’t save any space at all.” –Thomas B.

Curtis: “If SuperCaptainCoolman can rip through 50 feet of solid rock like it is tissue paper, what in the world happens when he wipes his ass?” –Thomas B.

Apartment 3-G: “Love how Doris just blows her off. Luann’s problem is new hair covering the same old brain.” –Roman Fingers

“God is flooding the Earth to cleanse it of Fred Basset.” –commodorejohn

Mark Trail: “Judging by the length of the lens and the size of the front element, Mark seems to have recently purchased a 2600mm f/32 telephoto lens, probably from a sketchy Korean eBay account. If he sets up 50,000 watts of lighting he may be able to get a decent exposure, I hope it doesn’t blow his cover. Alternately, that may be a smaller lens with two feet of extension tubes to give it 10x macro magnification, for getting a real close look at the pores on whatever chin he’s going to have to punch.” –B

Again, HUGE thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And we must of course give thanks to our advertisers:

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146 responses to “Metapost: Triumphant return comments of the week!”

  1. ElkMeadow
    September 27th, 2010 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    Welcome back, Josh!

    Congratulations, Gabacho and Riders of the Float!

  2. Baka Gaijin
    September 27th, 2010 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    Ditto. Welcome back, Josh and congrats all floaters. It was a great week for snark.

  3. cj
    September 27th, 2010 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    Re: Le Pompadour:
    Comic strip Puppetmaster appears to have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or something similar, what with his constant interest in the affairs of several other individuals and constantly shifting goals.

  4. bats :[
    September 27th, 2010 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    My gosh, how did I miss so many hysterical floater comments (well, aside from the shit-n-git)? Kudos to all! Throw me some Tootsie Rolls, or I’ll go camp in a dry river-bed!

  5. Hank
    September 27th, 2010 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    Awww, shucks (blushes).

  6. Rana
    September 27th, 2010 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to all!

  7. commodorejohn
    September 27th, 2010 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

    I love the COTW roundup, because it catches the gems I might otherwise have missed, like Hank’s description or Pompadour de Lynch’s hilarious summary. Great job, all!

  8. True Fable
    September 27th, 2010 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#4): The local shit-and-git’s tanning booth has been immortalized! Ha, and they thought only the hot dog warmer would ever host leather-like weiners!

    I’ll aim the Tootsie Rolls right atcha, bats :[ !

  9. Canaduck
    September 27th, 2010 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    These are all hilarious, but [Old Man] Muffaroo’s comment makes me happiest of all.

    Welcome back, Josh!

  10. Poteet
    September 28th, 2010 at 12:18 am [Reply]

  11. ElkMeadow
    September 28th, 2010 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: “Can I help?”

    ADRIAN’S THROWN GAS ON A FLAME!! Bridezilla Full Meddle Ahead!!!!

  12. Poteet
    September 28th, 2010 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    All hail, Gabacho, and all hail, snarky runners-up! A great lineup this week.

    And special thanks to Le Pompadour de Lynch. Since I can’t actually enter the world of S-M and put a bullet through The Puppet Master’s head, your comment was something I needed to see.

  13. ElkMeadow
    September 28th, 2010 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    Hmm. That last panel is quite the cliff-hanger.

    Did the secretary just tip her hand, that she knew what the newspaper guy was there for? Is he going to follow through in finding out who got the story going?

  14. Anonymous
    September 28th, 2010 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    welcome back!

  15. Poteet
    September 28th, 2010 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    9/28 MT — One of the most annoying things about MT, and it’s hard to pick one from such a long list, is that it completely skips over what could be some of the most interesting scenes in the very strange stories. For example, did Beth actually agree to greet the Important Friends as demanded of her, and if so, what did she say when they made genial comments about how much they are looking forward to gunning down large mammals? Or did she refuse? Is she chained in the attic to keep her out of the way?

  16. Poteet
    September 28th, 2010 at 12:55 am [Reply]

    9/28 JP — “I know! See my lower lip? I’m pouting! Pouting and self-pity are what I do best!”

  17. Poteet
    September 28th, 2010 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    9/28 SNUFFY — AIEEEEE!

  18. Aviatrix
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#15): The alternate ending to my “how does this hunt work?” vignette a few days ago involved muffled female protests coming from the cupboards, but we’re so used to voices coming from the furniture and scenery that it wouldn’t really convey their predicament.

  19. Poteet
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#18): Dang, I missed that. Sorry to cop your idea:-).

  20. Citric
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:08 am [Reply]

    I’m tempted to note that I don’t think Jack Elrod has ever seen a real long lens for a camera, but then I realize that the list of things Jack Elrod has never seen or experienced is varied, and consists of pretty much anything that’s not random wildlife.

  21. Poteet
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:10 am [Reply]

    9/28

    9CL — UGH.

    DT — Maybe you’re alone because, per earlier strips, you smell really bad.

    PBS — The sad thing is that I think Sean is about as hot as any guy as I’ve seen in the comics recently. As in “tepid.”

  22. Poteet
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    9/28 LUANN — I’d ask if Toni has been apprised of this flawless plan, but I’m afraid I already know the answer.

  23. Aviatrix
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:27 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#19): No fears! That was the alternate ending, as in the alternative to what I actually posted. I’m relatively certain that you didn’t steal the idea out of my head, so as the first to voice it, you get all credit.

    Now I have to go to bed wondering if maybe Poteet is ransacking my brain for ideas to improve on.

  24. Roman Fingers
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:38 am [Reply]

    Hey, it’s my first float ride! I’m happy, proud and thrilled! Bats:[ Incoming Toosie-roll!

    9CL: And that’s one line Amos hopes he never hears from Edda.

    Cranky: If my nurses looked like that, I’d get sick more often.

    DtM: Start of childhood weight problem in 3…2…1…

    DT: Panel 2 may be the worst unintentional gay pickup line ever.

    FC: And no, you can’t dip in chocolate frosting.

    GT: Bright kid, leaving the money in a bank envelope on the car seat. Why didn’t he just leave the bills under the windshield wipers?

    Luann: And in about 3 years, she can use the same wording in a Craigslist ad.

    MW: Adrian, you opened the door. You, and only you, are responsible for whatever happens now.

    RMMD: I’m thinking the secretary should be the mayor. She’s the only one with a lick of common sense. Come clean, tell your story, and it’s no longer an effective weapon.

    Zits: The magic 8 ball, and Walt’s expression, both say “Outlook not so good”.

  25. This Guy
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    9/28
    BB: Even a 2-pound bag of medical marijuana can’t improve the general’s mood.

    Crank: What, to keep their smirking muscles in shape?

    H&J: Shorter and punchier, like this: “An ex-girlfriend is like an okay movie: I liked at the time, but I don’t really want to see it again. Especially if the movie is kind of a bitch.”

    Peanuts: Did people back whenever really think ZIP codes were part of some Orwellian conspiracy to destroy individuality? Or is this just the usual bitching about having to remember short strings of digits?

    R==R: If I ever have grandchildren who call me “peepaw,” I’m disowning the little bastards.

    WoI: Why the archery target? Does this kingdom face a lot of archery targets in battle?

  26. dale
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:52 am [Reply]

    How convenient that Mark Trail has a high point that overlooks Frank’s property.
    Of course, living on a reclaimed toxic landfill could explain some things.

    Be sure to silhouette yourself against the skyline, Mark.

    I really hope Frank has covered all the legal issues. It’s hard to believe he wouldn’t.

  27. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 28th, 2010 at 2:12 am [Reply]

    @This Guy (#25):

    “Peepaw” and “Meemaw”? Does anyone talk like this? It is a fine line between being twee and severe mental retardation. Wait, it isn’t a fine line at all. “Jimbo” and the gang clearly live in some form of residential mental institution.

  28. ElkMeadow
    September 28th, 2010 at 2:41 am [Reply]

    @This Guy (#25):

    Peanuts: Did people back whenever really think ZIP codes were part of some Orwellian conspiracy to destroy individuality? Or is this just the usual bitching about having to remember short strings of digits?

    I was a very young kid when this happened. Our school books had how to address a letter, which included postal zones for big cities, so that the letters would go to the right post office for distribution. So of course our text books were out-dated for the rest of the year. And there were some who thought that it was The Book of Revelations (number of the beast) come to pass, and the end of the world.

    Poteet, you might be interested in this: There were posters at post offices, libraries and other government offices, showing Steve Canyon proudly saluting a departing airplane, saying, “There goes the U.S. mail!” and in the foreground, Poteet Canyon holding a bag marked U.S. Mail, sadly saying, “Except for these letters that don’t have zip codes.”

    Speed your mail along! Use Zip Codes!

  29. Alfred E. Neuman
    September 28th, 2010 at 3:24 am [Reply]

    FW— Jeez, Wally, couldn’t you at least play along. After all, she’s offering to show you her etchings.

    Jumble— Earlier tonight, Two and a Half Men featured Charlie sitting on a toilet trying to solve Jumble. LUJBEM FEJF must be so proud.

    Red & Rover— This looks like a job for bats :[.

  30. The Ridger
    September 28th, 2010 at 5:35 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#27) and @This Guy (#25): : It’s definitely a regionalism, but I know plenty of people who use those terms. It’s not twee at all, or doesn’t seem so to me, though we called ours Nana and Daddee, and our cousins (for whom they were greatgrandparents) called them Mamaw and Papaw. My own sister is Meemaw to her grandkids, while our father is “Grandaddy” to their mother (my niece) and them. On the other hand, while I don’t read that strip, I wouldn’t have thought those would have been the terms of choice.

  31. The Ridger
    September 28th, 2010 at 5:39 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#28): Indeed, many feared the Apocalypse was at hand. As with bar codes and others – just Google “ssn number of beast” to find out how many people believe “There is overwhelming evidence that the Social Security Card and Number has ALL the characteristics of the Mark of the Beast mentioned in Revelation.”

  32. Ed Dravecky
    September 28th, 2010 at 6:19 am [Reply]

    Congrats to Gabacho and all the funny folk on the float.

    @The Ridger (#31): When I took typing back in middle school, one kid refused to type an address on an envelope because the zip code included “666″ and he would not even type that number. Seriously. The teacher was a devout Southern Baptist but that didn’t save his grade on that day’s work.

  33. John C Fremont
    September 28th, 2010 at 6:28 am [Reply]

    As a general rule, I don’t get Gil Thorp. But today, I really don’t get Gil Thorp.

  34. whozitwhatzit
    September 28th, 2010 at 6:47 am [Reply]

    Luann: Yes, Brad. Entering into a lifelong commitment in order to escape a stalker built like an adult bear who doesn’t stop grinning and who probably wears his sunglasses inside because his bloodshot eyes never blink was a WAAAAY better idea.

  35. Mordock999
    September 28th, 2010 at 6:59 am [Reply]

    Today’s – 09/28/10

    Hey, Tiffany! I’ll PAY You $50.00 IF -YOU- JUST- SHOOT- TJ!!

    NOW!

    ________________________-
    DEATH to TJ!!! HURRY!

  36. terrapin
    September 28th, 2010 at 7:31 am [Reply]

    FC- It’s a bagel, not a donut…you moronic little cretin. Be thankful it isn’t laced with cyanide!

  37. tb4000
    September 28th, 2010 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    Luann: Evans, I realize that when you were their age, that’s what the ladies of the night charged, but the times, they have a-changed.

  38. Dennis
    September 28th, 2010 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    BB: Starring Carol Burnett as Eunice Higgins.

    Pluggers: “And take my wife…please.” they’re bustin’ out the A material today.

    reFoob: I’m sorry but this one is just way too easy.

    SF: In Slylock Fox’s city can non-sentient dogs be used as witnesses in theft cases?

    MT: Meanwhile, back at The Ranch…Hoss discovers he forgot to add the fabric softener again.

  39. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 28th, 2010 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    Disgusting Personal Habits… Part One:

    Pickles 9/27 and 9/28 — Ewww… I don’t believe for a minute that those big brown stains were left by Nelson’s MOUTH! His (grand)parents need to teach this kid how to wipe his butt with TOILET PAPER!

    Dog Eat Doug 9/28 — Chew Chew Baby* eats a stale cracker he left in someone’s OLD RUNNING SHOE! Disgusting beyond measure… so I’m glad he has enough sense to spit it out afterwards!

    *A tip of the hat to Irv Spector, Jackson Beck and Jack Mercer!

  40. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 28th, 2010 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    MG&G: takes the cheap shot at the easiest target on the funny pages. Do it again!

    OBH: eww.

    6C: right up there with Liberal Arts majors.

    Tank: yup, as expected.

    A&J: heee! The QG planned her compost effort better. Used paving stones from an area that she’d previously torn out to form a planting bed.

    IP: SPOOOON! well played!

    OTH and Lio: saw it coming, but chuckled anyways.

    standard disclaimer and apologies for oversnark.

  41. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 28th, 2010 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    as a slightly off-topic webcomic comment:

    last several days of Sinfest: d’awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

  42. kkarenb
    September 28th, 2010 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – This is what Edna O’Malley would look like if she was a kangaroo.

    FW – Yeah, what a great idea. The most clueless woman in the world decides to jump start a romance with Time Bomb Wally. If Batyuck’s intent is to be heartwarming, it isn’t working. If the intent is to show what post-traumatic stress in veterans is like, it isn’t working either.

    Rose is Rose – Why does that child have a porcupine on his head?

  43. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 28th, 2010 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Hooo! Muffaroo’s tired old feet get a break! Thanks, everybody, and special congrats to Le Pompadour de Lynch for that detailed linkfest snark, and Thomas B. for two dangerously reasonable thoughts in a row. Actually, everybody’s looking pretty good.

    And with that, I think I must go back to what passes for work here. I have a paying job to wrap up, and a pile of homework, and this is my only day off this week from the thing that’s caused me to vanish off the snarkosphere. Two words: JURY DUTY.

    I’ll be back, but I regret all the snark I’m missing right now. Darn reality! It’s almost as bad as those ***-**** ******* laws of physics.

  44. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 28th, 2010 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    o dear. This can not end well.

    As seen in LoFo. Would explain sooooo much. . . .

  45. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 28th, 2010 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    MT: Future Governor Crony McSportcoat, I think you mean “caged,” not “cagey.”

    And is Mark’s plan to stop the murder of the half-tamed animals, or simply photograph it for some sensationalized photo spread in Woods and Wildlife: The Blood & Gore Issue?

    F&E: Actually, “deja pooh” is the reaction I get to many of the comments here about Marvin.

    SM: Jonah Jameson may be an obsessive idiot, but at least he’s fully committed to his obsession, which is more than you can say for just about every other character in this strip.

    A3G: Okay, who ran today’s strip through Uncle Lumpy’s Random Dick software?

    MW: Wow, you can just see Mary getting all moist and dewy-eyed as she settles in for some wedding meddle: frantic bride, nervous groom, uncooperative caterers, bitchy bridesmaids…. It’s meddle-palooza, an orgy of meddle, and Mary gets to be right in the middle of it. Slow down there, Mar—a wedding is a long process, and you don’t want to “peak” too early.

    Oh, and welcome back, Josh–and congrats, Float Folk!

  46. Bootsy
    September 28th, 2010 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    FC: Aieeee! It’s the return of the toaster tooties! Or something like that.

  47. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 28th, 2010 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    Disgusting Personal Habits… Part Two:

    Monty going to the dentist without brushing his teeth first!* (Monty)

    Ralph drinking out of the toilet! (Mother Goose & Grimm)

    Grandma Bluehair giving Marvin wet sloppy kisses (Marvin)

    Jimbo using “peepaw” and “meemaw” as terms of endearment! (Rose=Rose)

    *I’m assuming… maybe the poor guy has gum disease or something!

    Congrats to Gabacho for his COTW… and a big “welcome back” to Josh… it’s good to see you again!

  48. Scott Bot
    September 28th, 2010 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    Congrats to all the float folk!

    JP – Careful, Jules – rule #457 of comic strip soap writing states: “The words ‘we have to talk’ are almost invariably followed by the words ‘I’m pregnant.’”

    Luann – If this story arc doesn’t end with Dirk saying ‘And I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for those meddling kids,’ I’m gonna get mad.

    @ElkMeadow (#28): Then you must remember the ads about the poor letters that wound up in the ‘no zip sorting bin.’

  49. ComcisFan
    September 28th, 2010 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Congreats to the winners. Funny!

    MW: Mary starts to circle as she catches the scent of a troubled bride. “Can I do anything to help? Mwaaaaahaaaaa!” Look how she sinks into the sofa, pupils dilating, at the mere hint of premarital discord. I predict weeks of Mary pointing out to Adrian that Scott should be handling some of the arrangements as well, stirring whatever bit of trouble there might be, then with an iron fist steering the soon-to-weds toward a perfectly acceptable, and loving, resolution.

    FW: “I like it dark.” Yep, that about sums up the theme of the entire strip.

    FC: And that’s not diaper cream, Billy, it’s a schmear.

  50. ComcisFan
    September 28th, 2010 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    I mean congrats.

  51. Little A and his Crystal Ball That Might Finally Be Right Predicts:
    September 28th, 2010 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    LUANN: This whole thing make NO FUCKING SENSE whatsoever. Toni is not living with Brad. How do they know that Dirk’s garbage route goes past Toni’s house, wherever that is?
    What is the point of having that nitwit appear at the door? Not only that, garbage men usually come DURING SCHOOL HOURS, and she is still in high school so far as we know (and of course no one will ever graduate from that school, since all 6 characters in the strip never age).
    WHAT FUCKING NONSENSE this is. That nitwit can’t even read the color on a crayon label, and TJ expects her to play a role, accurately?

    I miss the old-time strips that had greast characters and great plots, like HENRY. Now there was a great strip with great characters and great plots.

  52. Little Guy
    September 28th, 2010 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Welcome back Josh!

    Congrats to the Gabacho’s CoTW and the Floaters. Special props to Pompadour de Lynch and his Spidey Tour-de-Force stream on (semi)consciousness of the Puppet Master.

  53. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 28th, 2010 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    Henry – Now there is a comic that cried out for a live-action feature-length movie!

    I do remember an (I think) SCTV parody, which the youtubes are refusing to back me up on, featuring Rick Moranis in a bald cap and a typical Henry punchline.

    You see (snicker!) Henry was going (hee hee) fishing! And he got a bite (oh, this was classic!) and when he pulled in his line (wait for it!) there was … A BOOT! He caught a boot! Not a fish!! Oh, the hilarity!!!

  54. wossname
    September 28th, 2010 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Congrats to Gabacho and all the funny folks on the float! And welcome back, Josh. No, no, don’t bother checking the liquor cabinet, it’s fine! Just FINE!

    A3G – Panel 3 = huh? Unless he means, “But it’s killing me in my prostate, Doris!”

    Arch – For a brief moment, I read panel 3 as “I ran the sushi machine.” I like my version better.

    Crank – (a) ewwww (b) do a lot of older guys really do volunteer work at hospitals? In my visits to hospitals in various capacities, I’ve seen lots of older lady volunteers, but never an old guy – or a guy of any age.

    Dil – some days Dilbert is really funny. This is not one of those days.

    GA – Oh come on – the whole plot (if you can call it that) hinges on the fact that his cell phone battery is dead.

    GT – I don’t know why I even bother trying to follow this hallucinatory narrative, but anyway – why is Kaz answering the question in panel 3? Why not Miles? (And I assume the money was stolen to buy that varsity-level potatoade that was being discussed a few days ago.)

    JP – Ned and Jules are reminding me of Mike and Jenna – and they’ve only been talking for one day. Can we go back to the amateur stalker in the Mercedes, please?

    MT – Only one mustache in this whole gang of villains. I presume that means Mr. Gray, on the right, will be the first one to encounter the Fist O’ Justice.

    NS – pretty cute – especially compared to the heavy-handed plot about the Ekert.

    Phan – What is this, the official “make panel 3 nonsensical” day for comics? Who is saying “My doom would soon come for me!”??? The warden? Speaking from the future? The narration box?

    RMMD – Er, your honor? If I were you, I’d temporarily quit worrying about the caught-it-early prostate cancer, and try to find out why my right ear was turning black.

  55. wossname
    September 28th, 2010 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @This Guy (#25): Yeah, there really was a lot of resistance to zip codes at first, mostly from the Tea Party types of the era (“Keep the government out of my postal service!”) Even I, as a non-Tea-Partyish college student, found it a little disturbing that now everyplace in the country had a number assigned to it.

    I was quite a bit younger when they came up with the whole Area Code and Direct Distance Dialing (woo, how modern!) thing, and don’t remember the reaction to that, but I bet there was resistance to it too. What’s wrong with just calling the operator and saying “Myrtle, I want to call Chicago – REgency 4-6789″?

    @The Ridger (#30): I agree about Meemaw and Peepaw being a regionalism. Seems like in the South, there are a million variants of names to call your grandparents, and it’s important to have different names for the two sets.

  56. Carlo
    September 28th, 2010 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    Today’s Archie (9/28): I don’t get it. Does Jughead have a muscle or not? The art is a poor indicator.

  57. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 28th, 2010 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#55):

    Re: Phantom

    I really like this strip, and the ironic nature of the Warden’s commentary. Yesterday and today, she is obsessing over what the Python might to do her, while all the while her doom really is creeping up on her from an unexpected source, wearing stripey spandex.

  58. Hibbleton
    September 28th, 2010 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#27):

    R=R: Clearly the only way to make sense of this strip on a daily basis is to assume that it takes place in a mental institution as seen through the eyes of long-term patient Roslyn Gumbo. Jim is a fellow patient with the mind of a 6 year old committed in his early teens while all other adults are members of the hospital staff. The children she sees are manifestations of the various vermin that infest the hospital grounds.

    Congrats to the floaters. It was a very funny week of snark.

  59. wossname
    September 28th, 2010 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#58): Oh, I like it too, I just find it weird that the wardeness has suddenly become the narrator, and is looking back at the current scene with knowledge of what is going to happen next.

  60. Vince M
    September 28th, 2010 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    49: SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM! A Herb & Jamaal-general post like that is a dead giveaway.

  61. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 28th, 2010 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    My take is that the third panel is an ironic pullback from the warden. The narration is of her in the present, fearing what the Python would do to her if Diana were too escape, while she should be fearing the wrath of stripeybutt, who even now is closing in.

    This does not explain how George Washington got to be a female prison warden in panel two, however.

  62. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 28th, 2010 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    “too” should be “to”. I hope that was my only error, as two would be too much to handle.

  63. Vince M
    September 28th, 2010 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#54): That is SCTV and it’s hilarious! (Ohh, a boot, that’s just rich!) It was on their ‘Siskel and Ebert’ sketch reviewing Robert Altman’s “Henry”.
    Personally I thought Altman did a nice job with ‘Popeye’, less so with the National Lampoon’s ‘OC and Stiggs’.

  64. Scott Bot
    September 28th, 2010 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#55): RE: Gil Thorp – The more important question is, ‘what is Lenny from Laverne and Shirley doing in this strip?’

  65. TheDiva
    September 28th, 2010 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Welcome back Josh, and congrats to the float-riders!

    9CL: Maybe I’m just a beefwit, but I can’t think of any ending to this setup that doesn’t involve being arrested for indecent exposure.

    C’shaft: Ha-ha, what a charming dirty old man!

    FW: Looks like we’re going to find out what happens when an unstoppable obliviousness meets an immovable despair.

    reFOOB: ….Naaah, too easy.

    Luann: Wait, so Tiffany’s a member of Actor’s Equity? Hope they don’t find out she’s doing a non-union job…

    MW: A wedding? No wonder Mary looks so serene–she just entered Meddlevana. (Divarnac says: Adrian will go Bridezilla and drive everyone nuts until Mary steps in and reminds her that she should just be happy that she’s marrying Scott, or indeed anyone at her age.)

    Pluggers still think mother-in-law jokes are the height of comedy.

  66. Chip Whittle
    September 28th, 2010 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#54):

    I do remember an (I think) SCTV parody, which the youtubes are refusing to back me up on, featuring Rick Moranis in a bald cap and a typical Henry punchline.

    You see (snicker!) Henry was going (hee hee) fishing! And he got a bite (oh, this was classic!) and when he pulled in his line (wait for it!) there was … A BOOT! He caught a boot! Not a fish!! Oh, the hilarity!!!

    The episode you are thinking of is from series 3, show 14, “Hollywood Salutes The Extras”. It was a Siskel and Ebert review sketch, featuring the new Star Wars movie, Empires Are A Girl’s Best Friend, and the new Robert Altman movie, Henry. It’s out on DVD and funnier than you remember.

    As for Peanuts and Zip codes: one of the things to remember is the early 60s were the early part of the “numberization of America” as Dave Barry put it extremely well (in Dave Barry Turns 50). Before then you needed to know your phone number, your street address, and that was it, and your phone number very likely started with a name anyway. But then you were starting to get computerization insisting on unique ID numbers for…everything…creeping in, all over the place, leaving people understandably upset at being pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, and numbered.

    Crotchety old people upset at the convenient new things? Maybe, but compare the days when you might actually speak to a person who’d look you up by name and maybe address when you had a billing dispute at Pine Lump Power Company, instead of going through level four of automated billing dispute resolution which insists you re-enter your 20-digit Service Expediting Number for the third time and won’t believe you when you Say “Yes” To Confirm This Is Your Number for EnGromLinkCorp.

  67. LUJBEM FEJF
    September 28th, 2010 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#29): Jumble!- I am very proud! That cracked me up when I was watching it. My goal is to get everyone who uses a bathroom to play Jumble. I’m assuming half of those who do play, are playing it there anyway.

  68. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 28th, 2010 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    To clarify – the Henry parody was hilarious, I was mocking the typical “humor” of the original comic strip. SCTV is comedy canon and for a pop-culture-aware show holds up very well (“The People’s Global Golden Choice Awards”).

  69. UncleJeff
    September 28th, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#31): ….and the really funny thing is: there is a much bigger chance of identity theft or some other invasion of their privacy being committed by someone following their IP address than from any agency of government with legitimate access to their SSN.

    MT: I’d give a million internet bucks to see Ted Nugent make a cameo appearance at the wannabe-governor’s campaign fundraiser/animal slaughter. Ted would make a little speech, shoot a few arrows and cook up some mighty fine endangered species burgers.

  70. Anonymous
    September 28th, 2010 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#53):

    I remember Henry: The Movie.

  71. Fashion Police
    September 28th, 2010 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#29), @kkarenb (#42):
    We are somewhat surprised at the lack of commentary regarding Miss O’Connor appearing on Mr. Winkerbean’s doorstep carrying not only her etchings but a suitcase. One would think Mr. Winkerbean would recognize that good fortune has smiled on him, at least for the moment, and would be a little less glum.

    One supposes, perhaps, that poor Mr. Winkerbean was disappointed that the suitcase contained no weapons.

  72. Uncle Lumpy
    September 28th, 2010 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    @Vince M (#60):

    Spam pulled at #49; comment numbers reset from there.

    Lots of “repo car auction” spam overnight — c’mon, Cialis® people, you’re falling behind!

    Those damn generic spams are getting past the filters more and more.

  73. bats :[
    September 28th, 2010 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    @Roman Fingers (#24): (hey, this standing on the sidelines, swooping up Tootsie Rolls, is a pretty sweet gig.)

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#27): Sheldon Cooper on “The Big Bang Theory,” refers to his grandmother as Meemaw. Considering his back-story has him growing up in God-fearin’ Texas (i.e., anywhere except Austin) –I think it might’ve been Dallas– Meemaw and Peepaw might be legitimate, regional terms of relationship.

  74. Buck Ripsnort
    September 28th, 2010 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    FW: Silly girl, there IS no light in Westview.

  75. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 28th, 2010 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    FOOB — I’d like to think Lynn didn’t know Lawrence’s sexual orientation when she wrote the dialogue for this particular strip!

  76. Buck Ripsnort
    September 28th, 2010 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    FC: “It was a donut, but I licked all the sugar off; now eat it and go to school, you little turd.” / many, many childhood breakfasts w/ my mother.

  77. bats :[
    September 28th, 2010 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    Oh, since we’re nearly at the end of the month, don’t forget!

    (Right-click, then click on “view image” to get rid of that pesky sidebar.)

  78. Aviatrix
    September 28th, 2010 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#72): One even got past the human moderator at my blog, i.e. me. They’ve gone beyond saying, “Nice blog. You should write more like this,” into making vaguely relevant comments on the content. I let “Jamie” through recently thinking he was a genuine if somewhat dimwitted commenter, then when it appeared I realized that his name was a spam link.

    I’m sure the quest for male sexual satisfaction has driven many discoveries in human history, but who would have thought the Turing test would be passed by a machine selling boner pills.

  79. Aviatrix
    September 28th, 2010 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    MT: “They are wild and cagey” gets my nomination for Most Unintentionally Hilarious Line (No Sexual Overtones category).

  80. Little A and his Crystal Ball That Might Finally Be Right Predicts:
    September 28th, 2010 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    Henry (which, for all I know. may still be running, somewhere) was a deightfully simple, non-plotted, simply (but carefully) drawn strip. It was so low-key and simple, it made Nancy seem complicated. And that was a stretch.

  81. Aviatrix
    September 28th, 2010 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    MW: Two sappy dates and they’re getting married? He still doesn’t know about her drinking problem, does he? She certainly doesn’t know about his necrophilia conviction. No wonder Mary is so thrilled at the prospect. This relationship is going to need so much meddling she’ll have to schedule appointments with the two meddlees.

  82. wossname
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#81): That’s Adrian and Scott getting married, not Jenna and Mike. At least I hope Jenna and Mike are not, and that we’ll never hear of them again.

  83. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#81): No, it’s Adrian and Scott who are getting married, not Jenna and Dr. Mike (yet). Your confusion is certainly understandable; the two couples are virtually indistinguishable in their brunette/blond brown miscellaneous man-color pairings, their meeting borne out of misfortune, their manufactured will they/won’t they drama, and their sappy endearments of new-found love.

    But here’s how to tell the difference: Detective Scott is the only one with bullet holes in his butt.

  84. bupdaddy
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    Thank you, Le Pompadour de Lynch. Thank you thank you.

  85. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    Lab pups and water, an irresistible combination.

    oh, and an extra floofy bebbeh corgi for bb,u.

  86. Vince M
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    @Little A and his Crystal Ball That Might Finally Be Right Predicts: (#80): Henry is still running, which surprised me (same for The Katzenjammer Kids) – Dean’s Comic Booth frequently tweaks the strip in a hiarious, immature fashion.
    Re. Zip codes, etc. as Chip at #66 cites: my favorite 1960s movie “The President’s Analyst” takes it to its logical end where The Phone Company (as they capitalize it) proposes a mandatory prenatal insertion of a micro-size phone unit and the use of numbers instead of names as ones only legal identification. They’re not evil, mind you, just terribly efficiency-minded.

  87. Bootsy
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#81): Only diff is the hair. Adrian does not sport The Off-Center Ponytail O’Stupidity and Drunkenness (TM).

    I don’t know what you’d call her horrific ‘do. Maybe the Bob O’ Brainlessness?

  88. bats :[
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#83): Scott is about as blond as a Hitler youth Hans Brinker. He still has bullet holes in his butt, though, and in that relationship, Adrian wears the doctor’s jacket.

  89. whozitwhatzit
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#75): No, she knew. And, at the same time, she’s clueless. Which is why it’s so unintentionally funny.

    Unless it’s a nudge-nudge, wink-wink kinda thing. Then it’s just offensive… Ha, no, it’s still funny.

  90. commodorejohn
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Yeah, talking with Margo tends to do that.

    BC – This just in: cavemen know more about how to retain readership than the newspaper industry.

    BR & BrS – Brewster Rockit and Brenda Starr have been AWOL since yesterday. Jesus, goComics, how hard is it to upload images? It’s not like you’re the ones doing the drawing.

    C&B – Cow & Boy has been giving Cathy the send-off it deserves. Bravo!

    DT – Jules? Guess you were forsaken by Business Plan, huh?

    FW – I’ll give Batiuk this: were this Beetle Bailey, they would be wearing “sexy nurse” outfits instead of scrubs. (Did any nurses anywhere, ever, actually wear anything like that, de-sexified? My mother’s been a nurse for almost 30 years now, and even she can’t remember ever wearing anything of that nature.)

    GT – Psst, Gil Thorp, don’t you already have a plot or three for the fall?

    JP – Okay, if we do a back-pedal from Neddy’s having shut Ex-Boyfriend down hard in order to do an Anthony rehash, I’m going to track down Woody Wilson and knee him in the gut. Repeatedly.

    Luann – nuclear strike nuclear strike nuclear strike

    MT – “They are wild and cagey! Ha! I kill me.”

    MW – You know how vampires have to be invited into a house? Yeah.

    MC – Norm, the sooner you wean yourself from the need to have people pay attention to your work, the happier you will be.

    Popeye – WHAT. Even by Popeye standards this makes no goddamn sense.

    RMMD – “Um, line?”

    WoI – That right there is a fine picture to go with a completely different joke.

  91. Uncle Lumpy
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#78):

    “I’m sure the quest for male sexual satisfaction has driven many discoveries in human history, but who would have thought the Turing test would be passed by a machine selling boner pills.” — Aviatrix

    Oh, just a day late!

  92. Uncle Lumpy
    September 28th, 2010 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

  93. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 28th, 2010 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#85): Oh, man, I love me some corgi-squee! Thanks!

  94. commodorejohn
    September 28th, 2010 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#92): And for an alternate take on the strip, Dean Booth’s Henry mashups.

  95. Aviatrix
    September 28th, 2010 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#82), @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#83) & @Bootsy (#87): Thanks for explaining the programme. I’m a little disappointed though, because this implies that I will have have to avert my eyes from more sappy Mike & Jenna strips before he finally puts that ring of never-touch-me-again on her finger and they can go off into the sunset of characters forgotten until the next pool party.

    I guess I’ll hold out for Mike meeting someone who reminds him of Richie and leaving Jenna to drink herself to sleep while the men go out to sing showtunes together.

  96. Uncle Lumpy
    September 28th, 2010 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#95):

    Oddly (how else?), incidental characters do pop up again in Mary Worth, unlike Rex Morgan, M.D., which must have its own oubliette or something. I want to see the return of second-stringers on the cast, specifically:

    Mary Worth — Carlos Alora, vaguely ethnic gardener (wears a tunic and a beret, so I’m thinkin’ Basque?)

    Rex Morgan — Dr. Keith Cavell, who has disappeared not only from the strip but from teh Google, was a goateed roué and adventurer who got the blood running in Old June, and I’d love to see him get together with New June.

    Mark Trail — Johnny Malotte, Mark’s French-Canadian backwoods bud, last seen trippin’ here in 2008.

    Apartment 3-G — Well, Alan’s not coming back. But I betcha Eric is, and at the exact moment the gallery is catching fire and Margo has a new love interest.

  97. wossname
    September 28th, 2010 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#95): I fervently hope pray on my knees to every deity I can think of would pay a hitman to ensure think we’re done with Mike and Jenna.

  98. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    September 28th, 2010 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @Vince M (#86): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTPzTG1Lx60 — WAKE UP, SUCKER! It’s the phone company we’re talking about here!

  99. Baka Gaijin
    September 28th, 2010 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    Cow and Boy: A cow in a thong who’s AACKing. Like anyone would syndicate THAT.

    Pluggers: Missing next panel-Andy Bear viciously mauls shrew-in-law while screaming at the top of his lungs, “I work for myself you shriveled up old bag! Bounce, squeak, bounce, squeak, remember? I knocked up your daughter in the back of my work truck, remember? “

  100. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 28th, 2010 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    9/28

    JP: Euroshaggy knows Neddy’s Sunday go to meeting breasts when he sees them.

    RMMD: The mayor pauses in silence while he tries to determine if “give him the exclusive” is an innuendo.

    Pluggers: A moldy and vaguely offensive mother-in-law joke? Sure, but any Pluggers with a promise of Plugger-on-Plugger violence has to be rated above average.

    C-Shaft: “I mean, there’s so many chairs in a hospital. You’re never without a place to sit down. You guys know what I mean.”

    9CL: Amos looks to be naked under that cloak, so I don’t want to think about what he’s using as a sword.

    GT: “My parents wanted some gear from the student store” is to natural-sounding dialogue what Taco Bell is to authentic Mexican cuisine.

    DtM: You don’t wanna do that, Dennis. The ice cream jerk could be tempted to add some samples of his own.

    Phantom: The warden will be confused when her doom comes for her dressed as a grape.

    A3G: “Killing me. I swear, these hemorrhoids are killing me, Doris.”
    “You know what? You’re right. It’s none of my business.”

  101. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 28th, 2010 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#96): Rest assured, Dr. Keith Cavell hasn’t completely been de-Googled. I found this nifty PDF article that gives him his own paragraph. Nonetheless, if you’re starting a campaign to bring the good/bad doctor back, sign me up.

  102. Thomas B.
    September 28th, 2010 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    Josh is back safe AND I got my first 2-for on the float! What a wonderful day!

  103. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 28th, 2010 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#54): Re: Crankshaft. When I was in my late teens I did a summer volunteering as a transporter (apprentice orderly, I guess.) I did okay, I guess, but when a hospital is three buildings that only connect on certain floors, it’s easy to get lost. But anyway, there is a precedent for men volunteering in hospitals. Not sure about dirty old men.

  104. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 28th, 2010 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    @Thomas B. (#102): Oh, thanks for reminding me. Belated congratulations the the funny folks on the float.

  105. Poteet
    September 28th, 2010 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#28): Definitely I am interested in that! Thank you.

  106. Uncle Lumpy
    September 28th, 2010 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#101):

    Wow – 1972-era Rex Morgan: “constantly-working” Rex, and “sexless” June. And they say nothing changes in the comics! I’d forgotten about aging and vaguely ill Melissa and her seductive niece Heidi. But yes, I’d really like to see Cavell come back — you think Wilson and Nolan will buy?

  107. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 28th, 2010 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#106): I’d like to think so. Wilson has an idea of what makes an entertaining story, if not necessarily how to conclude it.

    If Dr. Keith turns out to be the one who performed the experimental libido transplant on June–much to Rex’s chagrin–everything will gel.

  108. Poteet
    September 28th, 2010 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#101): Ooh, wonderful. Thank you. I do remember that cast of characters. I just went on a Google search to find an image of Melissa, but failed. I seem to remember that she looked like a less tottering-on-the-edge-of-her-grave version of Spider-Man’s aunt.

  109. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    September 28th, 2010 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#8):

    The local shit-and-git’s tanning booth has been immortalized! Ha, and they thought only the hot dog warmer would ever host leather-like weiners!

    True, I appreciate your comment on its own merits. I would, however, like to point out that it can also be enjoyed when read as “Ha, and they thought only the hot dog warmer would ever hoist leather-like weiners!”

    @Little A and his Crystal Ball That Might Finally Be Right Predicts: (#80): Oh, I enjoyed Henry as a kid. Didn’t get to read it that often, which perhaps added to its allure. I appreciated the dotted-line sightlines, Henry’s bald head, and, best of all, the fact that Henry’s chin was a perfect little butt.

  110. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    September 28th, 2010 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    ‘shaft: Maybe I’m just hypersensitive about the nature of hospitals, i.e., they’re full of vulnerable people and worried loved ones, but this panel delivers the squick for me, big-time. Thanks, Batiuk, you turd.

    MT: First panel depicts such a convivial little gathering! I’d like to be one of those guys. Hell, I’d take a face full of birdshot to hang out with those jaunty fellows!

  111. ArchieNemesis
    September 28th, 2010 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    Off to the computer store to replace my screen. I shattered the LCD with a reflexive punch when Mr. Pencilthin Mustache and his sideburned buddies appeared in my Mark Trail comic viewer.

  112. Dood
    September 28th, 2010 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed (#110): Frank: “Oh, and speaking of wild and cagey, ignore the hobo with the dildo camera who’s camped on the hill overlooking the fenced area. Say, who needs a refill of blue liquor?”

  113. yaoi huntress earth
    September 28th, 2010 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    9CWL: Would it kill Amos to at least put some pants on or at least get a cape that went to the ground?

  114. Gabacho
    September 28th, 2010 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    OMG – Thank you! Thank you again! I can’t believe I hit COTW. I feel like Tommie after her recent makeover. I feel like Mary when a meddle works out. I feel like Funky when he does or doesn’t die (I forget which is good). I feel like Crankshaft when he passes a stone. I better stop now before I am removed. But thanks again.

  115. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 28th, 2010 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#92):

    I like how the credits read “by Carl Anderson” — a man who’s been dead for almost 62 years!

  116. terrapin
    September 28th, 2010 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    For the first time in my life I feel sorry for a Plugger. Poor bastard.

  117. Chip Whittle
    September 28th, 2010 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    Look out! One of the Between Friends women is being sucked into On The Fastrack! Bail out! You can’t do three strips a day!

    Crankshaft left me wondering all day where I’ve seen that middle medical-type woman before. I think she’s that sly-talking pixie from the Dexter’s Laboratory episode where DeeDee leads Dexter’s friends in a Dungeons and Dragons game. Anyone with me?

    Deflocked: The kid hopes to use poetry contests to pay his way through vampire school. Well, when I was his age I wanted to live on the moon and add numbers up, so I’m not sure his plan is less workable than mine.

    Gasoline Alley: Boog got a picture of the bus going off the cliff using the cell phone he said had run out of battery due to his father calling him obsessively. Implication: the phone is fine and Boog doesn’t want to talk to his father on it. Further implication: Yes, Boog is vastly more qualified to be the adult in the family than his dad is.

    Mandrake: “Maybe you can tell us, Mister Big-City Magician, you with your fancy-pants big-town wands-into-roses trick and your actual female assistant dressed in glittered spandex and your pockets full of neatly starched, mended and pressed handkerchiefs! Around here we have Plugger magicians and we like them! Or we tolerate their existence as slightly less unbearable than working up the energy to kill ourselves! What do you say to that, Mister Big-City Magician?”

    Am I the only person who thinks the angry sheriff here looks like Dilbert’s boss from the early years of the strip?

    The Middletons writer tries to get in on some of those big, fat Wee Pals paychecks.

    Pros and Cons: So what’s the scarier prospect: that whatever lead up to this encounter will go unexplained, or that it will go explained?

    Sam and Silo: If you’ve been taking this approach for ten years to catch a mugger, it’s not about the mugger anymore. Guys, just, embrace your feelings, be confident in yourselves, and find a private room. It’ll be cool. Ask Sarge and Beetle.

  118. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 28th, 2010 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#106):

    And while they’re at it, perhaps Wilson and Nolan could bring back Dr. Brice Adam(s). He’s a young MD who was supposedly brought in to “sex up” the strip in the late 1960s/early 1970s. As I remember it, Rex was badly injured in a robbery at his office and Dr. Adam(s) took over his practice for a few months to a year. Does anyone else remember this storyline?

  119. Uncle Lumpy
    September 28th, 2010 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#118):

    Yow, I remember him — he always struck me as “Rex Lite”, like bringing Donny Osmond in to appeal to “youth”. When you’re already Rex, “Lite” is not the way to go.

    So I’m totally up for a “Bring Back Keith Cavell” campaign — if nothing else, we should find out what happened to him. Or maybe we could ask this guy.

  120. littlestevie
    September 28th, 2010 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    MW: Where did Dr. Jeff go in the last panel? And why is she laying back on the couch? And why does she have such a smirk on her face? Is she thinking about all of the meddle potential coming up with Adrian’s wedding or is it something else that only Dr. Jeff can provide for her.

  121. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 28th, 2010 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#117):

    (re: Sam & Silo) Jerry Dumas used to write gags for Beetle Bailey, so maybe he’s the one who originally came up with the idea that Beetle is actually Sarge’s lover. And doesn’t Sam look like Sarge in that dog costume?

  122. mr 12 oz can
    September 28th, 2010 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#7): what did fred basset ever do to you ???

  123. Baka Gaijin
    September 28th, 2010 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    @mr 12 oz can (#122): The question isn’t “what did…” but “what didn’t…” Fred Bassett didn’t ever entertain commodorejohn. Right John?

  124. Tuna Adroit
    September 28th, 2010 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    I would like to comment that I thought today’s Daily News comics page was very funny… I apologize that I lack the patience to wait until post-meta-post posting to share this comment.

  125. Little A and his Crystal Ball That Might Finally Be Right Predicts:
    September 28th, 2010 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#117): This is the first time I have ever seen Deflocked. It mus thave been pointed out here that this is a Calvin and Hobbes rip-off. Since I can’t judge the strip by one view — is it any good?

    I suppose if I weren’t lazy I could look it up on the web, but I trust the judgement of you snarkers, and you will let me know.

    Of course we don’t agree on the declining quality of OBH art, but most of the time I agree with most of you.

  126. Fashion Police
    September 28th, 2010 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    @Bootsy (#87) said:

    Only diff is the hair. Adrian does not sport The Off-Center Ponytail O’Stupidity and Drunkenness (TM).

    If we remember correctly, Dr. Adrian Cory sported a rather aimless bob that was completely wrong for her face. Even a visit to Mrs. Powers’ I Dressed in the Dark hairdresser would be an improvement. To say that she was also perhaps the best-dressed Santa Royalean would be no more than damning with faint praise.

  127. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 28th, 2010 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#126): Oh, I would just love to see a mash-up with various Santa Royals made over with Luann’s Grecian hair!

  128. Jamus The Bartender
    September 28th, 2010 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    HEY, guess who just saw President Obama ride by in his motorcade about a half hour or so ago? THIS GUY :)

  129. Jamus The Bartender
    September 28th, 2010 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    Doonesbury: Yeah, he seemed kinda tired when he rode by. That would explain it.

  130. Fashion Police
    September 28th, 2010 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#127):
    Starting with Mr. Wilbur Weston…

  131. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 28th, 2010 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    @Little A and his Crystal Ball That Might Finally Be Right Predicts: (#125): That’s ok, we can still all agree that Hilburn of AS is an unspeakable HACK!

    *ahem*

  132. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 28th, 2010 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#128): I think this reporter was more thrilled.

    @Jamus The Bartender (#129): There may be another reason for that.

    (sorry for the Cockpit tangent, but the two of them went so WELL! with Jamus’s posts. My apologies to the docweaslettes of the world for getting their blood pressure up.)

  133. ElkMeadow
    September 28th, 2010 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    Got my dead tree today.

    I like Mother Goose and Grimm’s visit to the FamilyCircus. Guess where that paw was that you’re holding in your hand, Jeff.

    Shoe and Herman both had appendix jokes.

    I would like some brain bleach to get rid of Adam@home.

    reFOOB: Like everyone said today–too easy.

    Final panel in Peanuts: Classic.

  134. Aviatrix
    September 28th, 2010 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#128): I accidentally read that as “on his motorcycle.” I was thinking that that must pose some issues for his security detail.

  135. Anonymous
    September 28th, 2010 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#128): Very cool! I just got caught in the massive traffic jam that his visit caused…

  136. Scott Bot
    September 28th, 2010 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#135): Dang it, this was me! And I was happy he came to visit, just being a smarty boots.

  137. This Guy
    September 28th, 2010 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#112): Blue liquor? “Dammit, Frank, you know it’s illegal to import Romulan ale into Federation space! The news services will have a field day when they get wind of this.”

  138. HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
    September 28th, 2010 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    I’VE GOT FLEAS!!!!!!!

    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

    no wait those aren't fleas. they're salmon squares

    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

  139. Ukulele Ike
    September 28th, 2010 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#41): ast several days of Sinfest: d’awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

    Yes, thank you. I didn’t want to mention it because I hate to be seen as an outcast, nonprint media Sinfest freak. But the last week has been totally glorious, especially to us Fuchsia/Criminy tenderhearts. Smoochies are in store, I hope.

  140. sugarpie
    September 28th, 2010 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    Congratulations to Gabacho and his court of jesters! And welcome back Josh.

    (Psst! If you want to know what happened to the liquor cabinet, you might just check Poteet’s and Bourbon Babe’s recycling bins.)

  141. erzuliemom
    September 29th, 2010 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    FC: What, the Keanes aren’t Jewish?

  142. B
    September 29th, 2010 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    I thought the MT comment would be a little too photogeek for mass consumption. I should know not to underestimate the Curmudgeon audience.

    Sadly, the most realistic resolution of this plotline is that some citizen, possibly a Teabagger, sees Mark with his incredibly long and skinny lens and assumes he’s a Muslin Terr’st gathering information for the location of the next 911 Mosk. Mark gets harassed by the local police who order him to delete all of his images, and he’s put on a “get out the rubber gloves, Maude” TSA watchlist.

    Oh hell, what am I talking about, of course Mark Trail doesn’t have a digital camera.

  143. Braniff
    September 29th, 2010 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    Welcome back Josh–and thanks to Uncle Lumpy for standing in–well done!!!

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