When I heard that Cathy was going to get married on Valentine’s Day, I assumed, naturally enough, that Cathy was going to get married on Valentine’s Day. This week, however, the comics-reading public has discovered that in fact Cathy is just going to say “I do” on Valentine’s Day, so that the unspeakable horror that is the Cathy wedding will actually last two weeks. Charles and Diana’s wedding didn’t last that long. Britney Spears’ first marriage didn’t last that long.
I don’t even want to think about how long the wedding night is going to last.