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OK, I was completely unprepared for the overwhelming quantity and quality of haiku(s) that you guys posted. You guys all rock, and anyone who hasn’t read them all should do so right now. Here are my arbitrary top picks:

Actual Japanese category:


Who knows what it means? I’m just impressed that someone actually wrote it. According to Altavista’s Babelfish, it translates to: “Side it is in the newspaper and laughing ふ ガフィールド”. Well alrighty then!

Using actual comics dialog category:

Pushed out by the tide.
Oh no, Sharks. That’s all I need!
I’ll try to stay calm.

–Jeff R.

Sexual playtoy!
Ooh-och-ookie! Hoo hoo hoo!
Baby had NO shame!


Subtle use of catchphrase category:

Grampa on the couch
dreaming of harem women
I guess he’s been there


Shameless merchandising category:

Hats of Fencepost Frank
Are for sale at Cafepress
But no one buys them

–Dub Not Dubya

Doing that whole “haikus and seasons” thing category:

Haikus need seasons
but time never passes at
Apartment 3-G


Spring Moon, Anna pukes
Mary plots a fresh meddle
And dreams of new angst


Seeing what’s unseen category:

Meddlesome Mary
dispensing advice to all
Just needs to get laid.


Peppermint Patty
Sir, may I have another?
Marcie seeks the sweet


Margo and LuAnn
Seemingly main characters
But Tommie’s in charge


Snide but funy category:

Sally Forth is lame
While Medium Large is great
But which brings in cash?


Poignant as the source material category:

Unseen red-haired girl
His heart’s imagination
Mailbox is empty


All search term category:

tijauna bible
baby moses bath cartoon
naked miss buxley


Ick category:

My bed is comfy
It is warm and soft and it
calls me ‘hunny-pot’


And the last word:

Die, Judge Parker, die
Die, die, die, die, die, die, die
You, too, Rex Morgan