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Mary Worth, 6/30/05

All bets and Comics Curmudgeon conventions are off as long as Rita’s drunken rage persists, folks. Forget the rest of the comics. There’s just all of you, and me, and Rita, and this poor, terrified waiter. And why shouldn’t he be terrified? Rita’s just sort of waving her arms around drunkenly, but she’s managed to manifest some sort of telekenetic surge of power that’s blasting out of her collarbone and right into the tray. This energy, no doubt a living expression of sheer pettiness, seems to have enveloped our server in a glowing nimbus of mysterious luminescence, and transformed what was a harmless highball into a liquid creature that’s reaching hungrily for his face. More than anything else, it looks to me like the origin story for some kind of booze-oriented superhero. “Brett thought that he was working an ordinary dinner shift. He couldn’t imagine that by the end of that fateful evening, a brush with a toxically alcoholic patron would transform him into … The Cocktail!”

Also, is it just me, or does our hapless waiter look like a character from Pathetic Geek Stories? The wide eyes, the open mouth with all the teeth … hmm.

Of course, even though I can’t take my eyes away from Mary Worth, this little gem didn’t get past me:

This panel is now my new official heading for the bill-paying section of my sidebar menu. Comedy, thy name is old people in Gil Thorp.