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One Big Happy, 2/12/06

Yes, kids, it’s true: all those tchotchkes you bought your grandparents — all that crap you thought they treasured so much? Baloney. They didn’t want any of it, and only dragged it out when you came over to avoid hurting your feelings. And not because they actually cared about your feelings, but just because they knew you’d start squalling like a little baby, and if there’s one thing they earned by living through the Depression and fighting World War II and mortgaging themselves to the hilt to move to the suburbs and never once complaining when their kids started smoking dope and burning their bras, it was the right to not hear you cry, you little brat.

Also, those plastic-covered sofas in their living rooms? They had sex on those. Thus the plastic. Easy wipe-down.

My question for you in this One Big Happy: what exactly is Grandma doing on the computer in the rightmost panel of the second row? If it has something to do with a filthy, filthy browser history, my suspicions about life are all confirmed.