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Judge Parker, 5/20/06

Yeah, you’re a great guy, Randy. A great, hairy guy. Did you think that loosening your tie, unbuttoning that top button, and unleashing that thatch of chest hair would keep April from running off to the CIA? That she’d think, “Damn, why should sign I up for an exciting world of espionage and intrigue when I could be running my fingers through that sexy, sexy torso rug?”

Sadly, Randy, you’ve miscalculated. Now button up, please, in the name of all that’s good and decent.

Mark Trail, 5/20/06

Is the Lost Forest located in some county were all zoning decisions incomprehensibly take the form of a jury trial? Is the courtroom full of redheaded clones in grey suits? Does everybody forget that Tony is Evil Baldy’s grandson, not son? Why do I care about the answers to these questions? Why? Why? Why?