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Without further ado: Your funny funnies from the past seven days!

“I don’t think these people know the meaning of the word ‘closure’ any more than they know the meaning of the word ‘intervention’. For ‘intervention’ read ‘attack’, and for ‘closure’ read ‘satisfaction’.” –ragthetiger

“It seems to me that Mark Trail’s Molly also has the remarkable ability to change size; she’s shrunk from a full-sized behemoth to little more than a teddy bear when visiting her trainer in the hospital. Next week Mark should be able to stow Molly in the pocket of his flannel shirt and keep her fed with a peanut a day.” –Nicky Newark

“This morning in MW, Wilbur sez, ‘I hope we won’t be asked to say anything…’ Apparently Wilbur hasn’t noticed that no one’s ever asked him to say anything, ever.” –jules

“I guess the rules of responsible pet ownership, much like the laws of physics, don’t apply in Lost Forest.” –MossMoses

“Why no freshly dug grave? After that wreck, they probably decided to save money and just injected Aldo’s remains into the earth using a Popeil Solid Flavor Injector.” –Trent

“And Ian: Making a joke at Aldo’s funeral. I can’t wait to see you have a heart attack on the toilet.” –smacky

“Seriously, you read that last dialogue balloon too many times, all hope in the universe dies.” –Zack

“Personally, I’m hoping we get a tearful confession from Toby. ‘It was my fault! In my concern for my friend, I created the confrontation that drove Aldo to his death! Also, I paid a guy to cut his brake lines.'” –Splinky

“And that’s when I realized Family Circus is where humor goes to die.” –treedweller

“FooB: This strip has degenerated into the boringest thing ever. It is a glorification of the dull. I imagine everyone wearing shades of beige and grey, the sky behind them the color of a hangover, and the vague scent of a papermill in the air.” –pelagius

“It seems Abbey now has a permanent seductive ‘let’s boink’ expression regardless of what she’s talking about, including hordes of mice. I think she should become a local news anchor.” –Poteet

“And as for you people who want Liz to get together with Paul — what did Paul ever do to you? I like Paul, and he deserves much better than Liz. He should marry that nice girl that replaced Liz. And they should adopt a pet bear, named Molly, who is A Very Good Bear with Very Bad Luck.” –Summerhouse

“The majority of Gil Thorp takes place after something has happened: ‘Well, we lost that game!’ ‘Hey, I saw someone tearing down posters!’ ‘I dropped out of the race!’ It’s an interesting creative choice to concentrate solely on the conversations that take place between the rare moments of excitement.” –smacky

“Between Molly and Barfy, there’s been a lot of cross-species making out going on lately, and I for one am excited…er, disgusted.” –Pozzo

“Family Circus actually is on target today. I’d much rather be licked by a dog or rat-eating cat than have any close contact with a child.” –Frank Drackman

“How are these mullet-tops going to make money with a trained bear, anyway? Take her to a national park and have her steal pick-a-nick baskets?” –Randy

“Granthony hasn’t made a tough decision since he was at Tim Horten’s and it was a choice between frosted or unfrosted cinnamon rolls. (BTW, he chose frosted and has had serious doubts ever since.)” –Justafoob

“Oh, and yesterday? When she said she felt like she wasn’t ‘accomplished’ next to Anthony? I assumed she was just being polite…try to make the poor lug feel better since, you know, his life is shambles and whatnot.” –Cafangdra

“Lu Ann is caught between the moon and New York City. It isn’t pretty, but it’s true.” –Dingo

“I will be the first to admit that I am nothing if not inept when it comes to identifying the various Judge Parker characters. My excuse — and I think its a good one — is that I really don’t give a damn who they are. I believe the blonde JP kid is called ‘Sophie’. Why she is called that, well, that’s anybody’s guess.” –Fred P.

“I can’t believe Mark Trail called Molly ‘it.’ ‘It?!’ Listen, Mark, Molly is a BUAP : Brown Ursa-American Princess. You better check yourself before you wreck yourself, because pretty soon the strip is going to be called Molly and Mark and then just Molly. We’ll see who’s an ‘it’ then.” –Summerhouse

“I’m too urbane and witty for Pluggers, not quite literate enough for 9CL. I’ll always have Mark Trail.” –dramashoes

“The more Anthony burbles on at Liz, the more I realize what a truly unsung heroine — possessed of patience and strength beyond that of we mere mortals — Thérèse must have been to have prevented herself from brutally clubbing him to death with his telescope before she left.” –Jennifer