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They’ll Do It Every Time, 3/23/07

See, here’s the thing about the classic “send in your ideas to get them turned into a comic” comics: you never really know what’s going to happen to them after you send them in. They might get through almost entirely unfiltered, except that you end up in a vest or with a bow in your hair or something; on the other hand, you things might get so twisted around that they become completely unrecognizable. For instance, I have a hard time imagining that a “number of wives all over the U.S.A.” wrote Al Scaduto to say, “Ha! It used to be that I would harass my husband all the time for working for a living while I sat around doing nothing … but now that he’s retired, the very sight of him disgusts me! Ha! I guess I’m just a fickle, controlling shrew!” On the bright side, it looks like we’re about to get some hi-larious wife-beating action.

Mark Trail, 3/23/07

Wow, I’ve never seen Mark so depressed, so downcast, so … upset and confused. All because of one little hook from the bottom of a boat. That hook made him feel worse than he did watching his old army buddy drown and die. Maybe it’s his Rosebud, his madeleine, bringing his mind back to a past that’s now lost, a better time, when he didn’t have to live with a dumb girl and her creepy old dad and a moronic adopted son, when it was just him and his vast collection of hooks and screws, and he was happy.

Ziggy, 3/23/07

AUUUUGGGHHH ZIGGY OWNS SAILOR MOON UNDERWEAR MUST NOT VISUALIZE NOOOOOOOO