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Wait, what’s this? Why, your favorite Uncle left a parting gift — some comments of the week for me to sift through! Here’s the new COTW, at long last:

“A crime-fighting judge? What a novel and entertaining idea. You might also consider adding a disease-fighting nurse, an illiteracy-fighting middle school teacher and perhaps a fire-fighting fireman, to add to the variety. Throw in a busman who drives buses and you’ll be all set.” — Henning Makholm

And some runners-up!

“The specificity rolls on! For Herb, it must feel liberating, like coming out of the closet. ‘And I have a whole bunch of Captain & Tenille albums! And I eat Grape-Nuts for breakfast! Hee hee! And I drive a Ford! No, not just a Ford… dare I say it?’ ‘Don’t do it, former NBA star and longtime friend with whom I run a restaurant! You don’t know what’ll happen!’ ‘No, I’m gonna say it! A Ford Crown Victoria! And I prefer R.C. over Pepsi or Coke!’ — The Spectacular Spider-Brick

‘‘Is Spider-Man Really the Vulture?’ ???!? Why would someone who IS a secret identity NEED a secret identity?” — Pozzo

“I’m fairly sure Osama bin Laden has wept at some point today. If America’s the devil, then having Peter Parker mention your name must be like the most tediously pathetic version of hell.” — kitty

“Mary: You’ve driven me into the arms of another man, Jeff!
Jeff: How’d I do that?
Mary: By implying that I date other men!
Jeff: Huh?
Mary: Grovel, Jeff! Grovel!” — Hogenmogen

“Unfortunately, in Judge Parker’s book, the judge disappears on page 25, and the next 200 pages feature almost totally unrelated characters doing all of the crime-solving. Someone must have told him to write what he knows.” — Windier E. Megatons

“I love the serendipity of placing the ‘Learn to Draw the Human Figure’ blogad adjacent to Dick Tracy, whose illustrators have never, ever taken any such course.” — Evan

“Kitty is going down a bad path. Next thing you know, she is going to be doing lines of cat nip and having threesomes with Morris and Garfield. Stop her Rufus before it is too late.” — Walt’s Wallet

“If ya wanna date Mary Worth, ya gotta love dead fish.
Somehow I already guessed that.”– mojo

“Suddenly Coach Thorp’s team is trying to qualify for the playoffs, not the playdowns. Did their town move?” — Saluki

“Bonus! More similes for Dick Tracy villains! –
• Easy as chewing milk!
• Easy as shoveling wood!
• Smooth as a baby’s resume!
• Fungible as pie!
• Platitudinous as February 3rd!
• It was just like driving a train to the dentist!
• It was just like putting a rubber band around a lava lite!
• Like sand through the hourglass; these are the days of our lives!” — Muffaroo

“Gosh, was this just the best darndest Mary Worth ever or what? In one fell swoop, Ron goes from potential ‘friend with privileges’ to ‘friend with shriveleges.’ There’s a reason Mary wants you to order the raw oysters, Ron. Actually, a couple reasons.” — gh

Ahh, feels good to have the COTWs back, don’t it? Enjoy!