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I don’t select the Comments of the Week (not worthy!), but good news: Josh assembled these gems before high-tailing it for parts unknown! Here is your weekly top comment!

“A lot of people may regard Hi and Lois as pretty conventional, but I for one have never seen a couple of non-junkies so consistently committed to ignoring their baby.” –Violet

And here are your runners up!

“Scott is killed by a heroin dealer, but is able to get a shot off before the sweet sweet Charterstone-free eternal sleep envelops him. The critically injured dealer is rushed to the hospital where Adrian is faced with the moral dilemma — do I let him die or do I accept his invitation for drinks and a movie?” –Uncle Ritzy-Fitz

“And yeah, and what’s-her-face is totally using this to try to get into Les’s pants. I would express disapproval, but actually getting into Les’s pants will be punishment enough.” –Cliff Arroyo

“That traditional Milford bonfire is of Gil’s house by everyone he’s screwed over. Marty DeJong was just a little early this year.” –Steve S

“And I think Archie should just go ahead and reboot as a funny animal strip if that’s what they want to draw. Go ahead, let them get married, say ‘OK, that’s it!’, and the next morning they’re all squirrels. I believe it’s what nature intends.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“YO TOM BATUIK, I’M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU, AND I’MMA LET YOU FINISH DEPRESSING THE MASSES ON A WEEKLY BASIS, BUT SPAMALOT IS ONE OF THE BEST MUSICALS OF ALL TIME. OF ALL TIME.” –Ace

“Ah, nothing like a good witch burning to kick off the football season.” –zerowolf

“Toni’s turnaround was clearly Day One of Brad’s schizoid break with reality. Hope the real Toni is still alive.” –Marion D

“MW: I love the ‘Cartel Update’ pamphlet. I prefer to think that the police merely intercepted the drug cartel’s weekly newsletter. ‘Not only have they changed warehouses, but it’s big Pauly’s birthday! Be sure to wish him a hearty congratulations as you arrest him.'” –Citric

“Ah, Brad, once again you stand in for all humanity. Who amongst us does not have erotic daydreams involving our best friend and our father?” –neographite

“On the plus side, though, it seems that Brad can’t even create non-Toni people who care about him. High-five, universe!” –cj

“Grandma Keane just wants to know where her goddam flying car is. She was promised one.” –yellojkt

“When Grandma says the future just isn’t what it used to be, she should know. After all, she’s a time traveller who came here from a wonderful future where we all live in enlightened peace and harmony. However, during her time travels, she accidentally killed a mosquito, and … well, that’s how we end up living in a post-apocalyptic hell with President Jeffy.” –Perky Bird

“It’s nice of Brad to envision a world where TJ has been cured of his chronic case of lockjaw.” –zamros

“Weren’t JAMARR, DEONTE, DIEHL and BAUZA the clues in today’s Jumble?” –Dancing Bear

Three cheers for everyone who put cash into my tip jar! And cheers also to my advertisers:

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— Uncle Lumpy