For once, there’s no further ado … just this week’s top comment.
“I don’t think the Luann writers understand that ‘risotto’ is not just ‘what the gays call rice.'” –teddytoad
And the almost-as-funny runners up!
“I’ve only read Mark Trail for a few months but the sneaky ball cap on Mr. Trail in the first panel — COME ON! It’s as unnatural as making your pets wear clothes. What’s next, a soul patch? Oh, I’m watching you, Elrod.” –Orange Cactus
“Jamaal, you’re my best friend and I value our time together, but can we save the food critique for a time when I’m not being molested by a giant disembodied Jheri-Curl?” –Chyron HR
“I’m highly skeptical of the idea that Crankshaft would even for a moment balk at either hacking something up with a giant knife or participating in an activity the ultimate goal of which is to terrify children.” –Violet
“Nothing builds a sense of community like everyone in the neighborhood gathering round to lynch the couple who gave you loose bowel movements.” –Laocoon
“Crankshaft: ‘What time is it?’ Lady: ‘Five o’clock.’ Crankshaft: ‘Fuck you.'” –Red Greenback describes pretty much every Crankshaft ever published
“Pam’s tragic optimism in panel one just kills me. I mean, just stone cold kills me dead. She cheerfully and enthusiastically asks her father if he wants to carve jack-o-lanterns, hoping he’ll say — what? Perhaps: ‘I’d love to, darling! I realize I was a complete prick as a father, and I can never hope to make up for the damage I’ve done to your self-image, but I hope it’s not too late to show you some of the affection I cruelly withheld from you for decades.’ The only way the ‘shaft would ever say that, though, is in sarcasm. Good god, Pam. You’re holding a knife. What are you waiting for?” –Joe Blevins
“I love Bobbie: strung out on her addiction and weary from attempts at emotionally manipulating people she cares nothing for, she still remembers to think ‘whom’. She may be a goofball fiend but she has breeding.” –Cliff Arroyo
“A stint in the Foreign Legion will teach young Cory some discipline. Why not send him off to Crock? It’ll improve both strips.” –Mooncattie
“See, say what you want about Lynn Johnston, but it’s her flying in the face of the gag strips’ general disregard for week-to-week continuity that makes her a treasure. If Herb & Jamaal were so honest it would have to henceforth be called Jamaal & the Guy with the Horribly Scalded and Disfigured Bozac.” –Edgy DC
“The Mommy Wars have made it to Hootin’ Holler. Soon every strip will be about the competition to get Junior into the best one-room schoolhouse the barter-system can buy.” –Mollie
“I think the Spider-Man strip would be a lot better if the next several ones were just actual pages from The Dog in The Fog. And then Spider-Man is defeated by a lead pipe at the end.” –Gnoll
In response to the proposal that Luann and Gunther dress as each other for Halloween: “I dunno, I don’t think even the most exquisitely crafted costume could capture the sheer horror that is Gunther. Or disguise it.” –commodorejohn
“A fiber optic jack-o-lantern? What, are we Episcopalian now?” –PoeWar
“‘And just to show you your little girl’s safe … I downloaded the new iStalk app for my 2-inch-thick iPhone so I can watch everything she does.’ ‘I like this book even better than the other one, Mr. Foghorn. But why are you pointing that camera at my face?’ ‘Stop asking questions. Shut up and read your crappy fake Dr. Seuss books! You’re not paying me enough for this, Bigshot!'” –Bob
“Am I the only one who thinks that it’s horrible that the Sandman’s daughter is called ‘Sandy’? Because that’s horrible.” –AndyL
“It’s fitting that the only porn in the Foobiverse consists of be-wigged muppets.” –yellojkt
“I realize that most of us view the Keanes as a medieval-minded cult of reactionaries, but I have to say that I’m impressed by the amount of obvious trust they’re placing in Billy by arming him with that scythe.” –Alan’s Addiction
“Bobbie, there aren’t enough symbols on the keyboard to describe how badly you need a makeover.” –NoahSnark
“Rocky, on a 10-minute break from his job at the nuclear power plant, talks to his life partner on the phone. They have a small tiff based mainly on Rocky’s insecurities about a horse, which is possibly a euphemism for erectile dysfunction.” –MolyBendum
“Why is Billy dressed as the ghost of Flava Flav?” –Stij
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