Metapost: Snowbound comments of the week!
As you may have heard, the mid-Atlantic region has been blanketed with snow, with yet more on the way! Fortunately, said snow hasn’t interfered with the flow of sweet electricity and/or Internet-borne witticisms into my snowbound home, allowing me to present you with the following COMMENT OF THE WEEK!
“Imagine the poor DEA agent who ends up at a plugger’s house: ‘Man, there’s enough animal tranquilizer here to take down a bear. Oh, he is? Never mind.'” –BigTed
And the runners up! Very funny!
“Thinking of all the raw, primal love he and Abby shared made Wilbur briefly forget how to use ‘civilized’ word structures, such as pronouns.” –Perky Bird
“Two panels and just 56 words in today’s Mary Worth and yet Wilbur’s last sentence is still missing a word. By contrast each of the 3 wispy hairs on his forehead are meticulously rendered in each panel. The priorities at Mary Worth Quality Control are a little hard to fathom.” –DaveyK
“That’s what broke us apart. Specifically, it severed my head from my body. If I don’t hold it fast like this, it will fall off and roll away.” –Nekrotzar
“Most disturbing strip of the year. You know Giella wanted to put in yellow pit stains but was stopped by the censor.” –mr 12 oz can
“I’m trying to increase Mary Worth awareness among college students. I promote her cause by advising everyone to make the most socially acceptable choices, regardless of what might be best for them! Next up: buying all of my friends ugly salmon-colored blazers.” –rachel
“What is the damn deal with all the close-ups lately? These characters are unappealing enough from a medium distance. The ideal would be somewhere between the Elrod ‘now entering state forest’ POV and an aerial map, but I’ll settle for anything over Wilbur Weston breathing on me.” –Chromium
“Substituting limp pieces of macaroni for bait worms is exactly the kind of thing that Mark Trail would consider as ‘something one does in an emergency.'” –teddytoad
“The blond fellow backing up Mark’s testimony? Color his hair black and, my God! It’s Adolph Hitler! If he’s got the final solution for cleaning our water, I think I’ll stick with my good ole fashioned dirty-but-fascist-free AMERICAN water, thank you very much.” –DownwithOPP
“Coach Kaz, representing the best of 1987’s hairstyles. He’s also probably wearing Zubaz.” –Howland Awl
“Oh man, Dawn’s angry face as she angrily arranges flowers (or not; they’re probably just in the background but I like imagining they’re part of the scene). And then the way she’s clutching her head/ear in the second panel. Does it hurt, Dawn? Do all those thoughts make your brain hurt?” –Carly
“Don’t be ridiculous, Marty. Gil is never indecisive. Indecision is for people who remotely give a rat’s ass about anything, ever.” –Violet
“Gil Thorp never feels like a narrative to me. More like doing shrooms and wandering through a high school with a strobe light.” –bunivasal
“Everyone needs to lay off poor Dawn today — her hearing aid’s acting up and her dentures and/or face won’t stay put. We’ve all been there.” –Walker of Dog
“Notice how the stakes keep getting lowered here. The wildly varying results of being seen include: (1) death, then (2) insanity, and finally (3) leaving a Canadian jazz club in a calm, orderly manner.” –Joe Blevins
“Wilbur Weston would never make ‘sweet love.’ Imagine an intoxicated walrus inching its way across the ice toward a bored, uninterested walrus in a hat. Imagine that walrus overtaking the second walrus and the sounds of flapping flesh and the general unpleasantness of the act. That would be Kathleen Turner and William Hurt compared to Wilbur Weston and Abby Evans.” –Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
“Looks like Dawn is pantomiming her scenes for the Charterstone production of Hamlet she’s appearing in. She has the lead, of course, hence the haircut.” –Hibbleton
In response to a suggestion that Dawn might be transforming herself into The Joker: “Of course, if you say to Mary Worth ‘Why so serious?’, be prepared to hear exactly why she’s so serious. In excruciating detail. With a quote from Thomas Merton.” –Artist formerly known as Ben
“Y’know, with just a little tweaking, this production of West Side Story could be made much less bizarre: North Side Story: An edgy new musical highlighting the tensions and tragedies between The Lutefisks, a gang of depressed Swedes, and The Smørrebrøds, a gang of ever-partying Danes, in a small farming community in Minnesota. The score, by Leonard Bjornson, includes such exciting numbers as ‘I Feel Bored’ (‘I feel bored/Oh so bored/I feel bored, suicidal, and depressed…’), ‘Dear Lay Minister Lofgren’ (&lsqup;Deep down inside me is Köttbullar’), and ‘Kølig’ (‘Get kølig, boy! / Got a Tuborg in your pocket’).” –odinthor
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