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Spider-Man, 2/11/10

So after inviting himself along on his wife’s Florida trip, Spider-Man has spent most of his time visiting — or at least looking at and making stray comments about — other popular superheroes from Marvel Comics. Some of these characters will be appearing in action-packed films coming soon to a theater near you, while others have already starred in movies you can rent or own on DVD and Blu-Ray! Because Spidey is a super-powered ball of wholly justified self-loathing, what he’s mostly taken away from these encounters is that he really isn’t particularly necessary for the health and safety of New York City. And perhaps this is supposed to be a metaphor for the turmoil behind the scenes in the Spider-Man film series, with the director and all the main stars leaving and the rebooted franchise not reappearing until 2012 at the earliest. “It’s OK, corporate parent! Your Iron Mans and your Fantastic Fours will keep you afloat! I’ll just be … relaxing … in Miami … you won’t need me … ” [uncontrollable sobbing]

Of course, speaking of corporate parents, now that Marvel is a wholly owned subsidiary of the Walt Disney Company, Spidey might have other synergistic duties in his future, since Miami is just a few hours of tree-to-tree web slinging away from Orlando. “Gosh, it’s great that all those other superheroes are defending New York … so that I can enjoy a good time while standing guard here at Magic Kingdom® Park and Disney’s Hollywood Studios™! Look, there’s Mickey and Goofy, also on patrol!”

Pluggers, 2/11/10

Pluggers may not believe in evolution via the survival of the fittest, but they sure will be participating in it.