Archive: Pluggers

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Mary Worth, 7/26/24

Oh, man, sorry I thought this was going to be something “normal” like Wilbur deciding to murder his fish for attention, when in fact he’s going to dream/fantasize about merging with his dead fish as some kind of nearsighted human/fish hybrid. A dead one, too! Remember how he was speculating yesterday about fish heaven? Well, in his imagining, this is fish heaven, when a fish transcends its fishy form and becomes merged with Wilbur. Imagine the sick sort of God who would consider such a nightmare to be a reward for a life well lived: this is the deity that Wilbur worships.

Gil Thorp, 7/26/24

Speaking of cruel Gods, imagine if you were invited, just briefly, to bask in the holy radiance of your Creators, except that it has to take the form of walking by a couple of dudes sitting behind a folding table at Comic-Con, where you’ll be surrounded by absolute dorks. Would probably take a lot of the mystery out of the whole thing, right?

Pluggers, 7/26/24

A lot of people use my Pluggers commentary as evidence that I’m a coastal elitist who hates real, down-home Americans from the heartland, but nothing I’ve ever said about pluggers is anywhere close to as contemptuous as “pluggers get trapped in port-a-pottys all the time, probably they fall down in there accidentally and get all covered with really nasty piss and shit, that’s a classic plugger situation and that’s the tea, sis.”

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Dick Tracy, 7/20/24

Loving the MCU gang’s expressions here. They are absolutely disgusted that Dick has decided to do a raid that conforms to the fourth amendment for once. What is this, liberal Commiefornia???

Pluggers, 7/20/24

If you came into this cold, you might think that Pluggers took place in a post-apocalyptic world where the roads were ruled by bandits or mutants after the sun goes down, leaving ordinary folk in a state of panic. But no! It’s just that pluggers are old and their eyesight is failing, and that makes them a danger to themselves and others when they drive.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/20/24

Ha ha! It’s funny because Doc Pritchart is considering unnecessarily slicing Snuffy open and rummaging around in his insides, as part of a Medicaid fraud scheme!

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Mark Trail, 7/17/24

Wow, it seems the Grungey Boys’ whole deal was a real “I learned it from watching you” situation, because it started when Ranger Shaw dumped a box of Twilight DVDs in the woods, and then Robbie saw him do it, and then [chain of events I forget the details of and don’t feel like looking up] breaking up fax machines with baseball bats in a National Park. Anyway, I’m pretty hung up on that box of DVDs. I feel like it’s way too large for a scenario where you just own the entire Twilight saga on DVD, but way too small if your goal was to amass so many copies of movies from the Twilight saga on DVD that your husband wouldn’t be able to dispose of all of them in the woods. Also, while I’m not a fan of Twilight’s whole deal, I do think this act of marital warfare is over the line and also counterproductive — it will simply lead to Ranger Shaw’s wife repeatedly paying $3.99 to rent the movies VOD via iTunes or Amazon Prime, further enriching Stephenie Meyer and the films’ producers with each purchase.

Judge Parker, 7/17/24

Oh, good, Sophie in fact did her due diligence on the whole “Is my dad dead or not?” question. Unfortunately, she must now contend with the “Am I in the grips of an acute form of gothic madness or not?” question, which is the sort of thing guaranteed to ruin any beach vacation.

Pluggers, 7/17/24

Pluggers are simply covered with oozing sores and open wounds. And not little ones, either!