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Uh oh, COTWs are here on Friday … which as you might guess means that I’m about to leave on vacation. The inimitable Uncle Lumpy will be in charge until the 27th. Until then, enjoy this fine COTW, won’t you?

“You know what would make this Shoe great? Context. Imagine if ‘My dog never comes comes when I call’ had been the first and only thing the anonymous bird lady had said after 10 agonizing minutes of uncomfortable silence. Imagine further that Shoe’s witty retort is followed by 10 more minutes of silence. Shoe is a (potentially) great comic. It just needs waaaaayyyy more panels.” –Joe Blevins

And these fine runners up!

“Of course the doctor is confident! Their love is ordained by Mary Worth! When Mary commands loving, it happens.” –AndyL

“I like how Dr. Mike is still writing his case notes while ‘listening’ to Jenna. ‘Patient X seems to be exhibiting signs of delusions of dead vigilante dad, lunch with Jenna.'” –Bill Murray

“Just how do you fight a circle saw? Unplug it?” –Dood

“Jeff Karoub would fight a circular saw for you. Too bad the other area coaches show no imagination at all, and will probably resort to the same outworn trope of the ‘300-pound defensive lineman.'” –boojum

“If only we could hear the great hip sound of Modern English’s ‘I Melt with You’ emanating from those wicked speakers as Gil initiates his chin’s nightly dissolve into Mimi’s eyebrows. One of these mornings, they’re not going to reconstitute correctly, and then we’ll see what Marty Moon has to say about that.” –Bret

“Not many people know that ‘Mary Worth’ is a title as well, although it differs a bit in that the Phantom is a hereditary title, whereas Mary Worth is more of a golden bough thing, where a new Mary slays the old Mary and wears her skin.” –Wally Wyrd

“I can’t draw one more strip with Ziggy staring out at us from the blank nothingness! There’s got to be more in life!! I’ll … draw a background character. Ooh, and I’ll give him a little hat! Okay, I feel better.” –Maggie

“I’d like to know what sort of restaurants the Mary Worth writers and artists frequent to serve as their inspiration for ‘Menu’, partly because it’d be fun to witness such ridiculous decor and insane diner interaction firsthand, but mostly because I want to know where I can get a giant basket of McDonald’s hash browns past 10:30am.” –Cooler King

“Jenna should explain to Mike that comestibles enter the stomach by being eaten and swallowed, not by being forced through the abdominal wall.” –Nekrotzar

“If you follow Jenna’s line of sight, she’s gazing with the adoration of the newly in love at the basket of taupe oblong food-things. Tomorrow, she’ll raise her trembling, soft, delicate hand and run a finger-colored nail along the various crags and ridges, murmuring, ‘I’ve waited so long….. You’re so beige, so very crusty…. Crumble in my mouth, my precious….'” –bourbon babe, unbuckled

See you in a week or so! Be kind to your favorite uncle!