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Ahh, Friday evening — must be time for your COTW:

“Jeffy’s stoop-moping has now become one of his trademark characteristics, along with ‘pantlessness’ and ‘abject lack of charm.'” –Cooler King

And your runners up! Also hilarious!

“I believe science has demonstrated that Thel’s neck would snap like a twig under the weight of Jeffy, The Prince of Pudge. Hell, I’m surprised she can wear a hat without collapsing.” –boojum

“So, basically, here’s the way the Mary Worth plot will play out: Mary will be choking to death on a fish bone, and Jeff’s digital electronic e-Book computerized reader will contain some document that explains the Heimlich maneuver. After her life is saved by the Booktronic Computome Digibook, she’ll renounce her former dislike of machines and marry a blender.” –Kibo

Here we see four comics, all using the same limited color palette, but somehow only Mary Worth manages to be completely nauseating.” –Ethan Shuster

“I fear that the Mary-Jeff interaction is going to be held up as the model for interpersonal disagreements on the adoption of new technologies, and that we’re about to see a more dysfunctional way to be a Luddite. It’s Wilbur, so perhaps he’ll eat Dawn’s oversized smartphone in a sandwich, while moping.” –Aviatrix

“One problem is that this alleged high school [in Luann] has always only had about a dozen students, tops. Introducing an actual new student seems to be an extremely lengthy and painful process, kinda like giving birth to a Volkswagen. Quill is very lucky to exist.” –Poteet

“‘LOL! ROFL! Epic fail!’ hoots Wilbur in an attempt to connect with his ‘net-savvy’ daughter, then goes back to eating his expired cling peaches in brine.” –new_squid_in_town

“Oh no, my daughter is addicted to her smart phone! Stay calm, Wilbur. She needs you right now! Step one is to finish dinner: cramming these orange globs down my throat as fast as possible, by hand if necessary!” –Black Drazon

“If you look carefully, you’ll notice that Crock’s fort (I have no idea if it has an actual name) is flying the white flag of surrender. The French Foreign Legion has capitulated to the Tunisian revolt, and Poulet’s last act before shipping back to France is to try and find a book in French — ANY book — to keep his mind occupied on the long journey home. Sadly, all the writings of the foreigners have been burned.” –Just Some Guy

“Maybe the Crock author is ready to roll out his own home-brewed language, and is trying to first discredit our current one using shaming tactics.” –The Other One

“‘Well, Loweezy, I can think of another way you can pay those bills.’ Cue the wacka-wacka background music … or banjo music … or wacka-wacka banjo music.” –Pozzo

“Dawn’s relationship with her father may actually deepen if limited to 140 character communications. Is more really needed to discuss sandwiches and nothingness?” –VochoCinco

“How expensive could a jar of leeches possibly be?” –James

“Listen to your father, Dawn. Both as the target of a Facebook paternity fraud scam and an advice columnist who answers anonymous letters while pretending to be a lady, Wilbur know a thing or two about connecting with real people.” –Violet

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And we must of course give thanks to our advertisers:

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