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Your comment of the week shortly, but, first a very important note from a faithful reader who (for obvious reasons) wishes to go nameless! I haven’t been covering Luann for a while, so you’ll have to trust me when I say that the long-simmering fight between Toni and Anne Eiffel for Brad’s squishy, passive love is proceeding apace! But what if it weren’t long-simmering? What if it were hot and fast and happening all at once? Wouldn’t you like Luann artist Greg Evans to draw that for you? Well, he has, on his blog. YOU’RE WELCOME EVERYBODY.

Aaaand now that you’re done contemplating that, why not contemplate the comment of the week?

“I don’t mean to get all legalistic, but Miranda warnings do not go with ‘today’s litigious society.’ What you really need is some joke combining ‘McDonald’s coffee’ and ‘poop.'” –Lawyerbob

And the runners up! Very funny!

“Seriously? A motor home? You can just do it right there in the barn, ya know. The horse ain’t gonna tell.” –Apeman

“That’s actually the North Beech diet, referring to a particular tree on Smith property. Its bark was Loweezy’s sole sustenance for three weeks. She lost 25 pounds and her upper lip, but then she switched to a sweetgum and packed it all back on.” –Walker of Dog

“Slylock picked the panda because the panda is totally okay with going six months without getting laid.” –commodorejohn

“Max Mouse is being viciously sexually harassed by that crab. Only the fish and seagull are horrified to see Max so mishandled; the dockworkers are indifferent, Slylock and his colleague are willfully unaware, the wolf and walrus are titillated, and the panda is too baked on eucalyptus to make his eyes converge on any one fixed point.” –A.E.F.

“Gramma Rose definitely has the high trousers fast talking routine down. What do you think about kids? What type of underwear are you wearing? Do you bathe in the nude? Who are you? Suppose to say I’m supposing. What do you mean by that! Well that’s just a fine set of crackers.” –Government Cheese

“Gasoline Alley: Where ugly people say pointless things. Forever.” –Lorne

“I really enjoy how far away Lois is from this man. ‘DITTO NEEDS SOME NEW SCHOOL CLOTHES! … NO, I SAID ‘DITTO’! MY SON! YES, HIS NAME IS DITTO! WHAT? I’M SORRY, I CAN’T HEAR YOU ALL THE WAY OVER HERE! DON’T COME ANY CLOSER! I’M MARRIED!!!'” –Austria

“I’m not sure if the hallway to Petey and MJ’s apartment is higher than their floor (and with no step down, to boot), or if the newspaper is levitating. No wonder MJ has to strike such an awkward pose just to approach the paper. Could this be the work of Forced Perspective Man? ‘Ha ha! I will use my incredible powers of bending time and space to provide minor inconveniences to Spider-Man so that he will whine himself to death! My plan is perfect!'” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

Oh and also there is this long and amazing comment from longtime reader/commenting hero Master Softheart, which is not the first comment of his that made me say, “Gee, I wish I had written that.”

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.