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I got stuff going on today, folks (including getting ready for my performance at Baltimore’s 14K Cabaret tonight, you should come watch and strike a blow against the region’s insane panic about extremely mild snow accumulation) so I’ve got your comment of the week … kinda early:

“Three cheers for Kraven! The good guy escaped! (Kraven is the good guy, right?)” –Cloudbuster

And your runners up! Very funny!

“It was nice of Greg, the James Bond actor, to comb out, part, and curl Margo’s luxurious blue hair before putting her to bed. Maybe he concluded that ‘Eric’ was her stylist.” –Chipper

“Dilton isn’t absent-minded at all during his awkward display. His feverish mind is present inside his clumsy body all throughout. Aware that the girls are looking at him with not-quite-pity and not-quite-disgust, aware that the local loudmouths are braying remarks, and aware that one day … one day … all of Riverdale is going to burn.” –Chareth Cutestory

“‘Wait, isn’t that the sock your husband masturbates into?’ ‘Yeah. We’re really gross.” –Greg

“Snapping turtles have a worm-like appendage that they use to lure fish, so does this guy. ‘I have nothing to hide’ means he gets in the water naked during competitions.” –nescio

“So let me get this straight. Aquaman dyed his hair black and now cheats on the pro bass circuit with his fish-summoning powers? How the mighty have fallen. Well, at least he kept the orange shirt, for old times’ sake.” –Voshkod

“Margo owns the building, right? Which means those sprinkler-thingies are just for show and the axe is a foam-rubber replica.” –Dood

“‘Oh, no … not again?!’ That is officially the most you can fuck up punctuation in one sentence.” –Doctor Handsome

“‘Knute, what career are you looking for at the fair?’ ‘I want to be TJ .. in a hat!’” –Mr. Fogarty

“‘You’re ready, Mary?’ ‘Yes!’ Man, if that isn’t a set-up for the most anti-erotic porn ever, I don’t know what is. The fact that her next line starts with ‘Oof!’ only adds to an image I’ll never be able to drink away.” –Pozzo

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