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Hey y’all! Before we launch into the comments of the week, just wanted to point you to this brief update on my novel, which is getting close to the stage of becoming a REAL PHYSICAL BOOK! Super excited! Stay tuned! Etc.! But, you don’t have to wait for this week’s comment of the week, that’s here right now:

“What the hell, Judge Parker? I didn’t do a thing to you, I’ve been living and letting live, and out of nowhere you get all aggressively mullet-y at me?” –Dragon of Life

The runners up are also here, and also extremely funny!

“Mark Trail has leapt from barely acknowledging cell phones to featuring an army of amphibious ATVs. I am so disoriented.” –Kevin Keeney, on Facebook

“If the last five panels of today’s RMMD were devoted to showing Rex on hold, impatiently listening to ‘Music Box Dancer’ over and over, I for one would be delighted.” –Pozzo

“When the smiley old guy started underselling himself, I assumed that the cabin is haunted, or is incredibly dangerous, or has somehow offended the mob. Honestly, let’s all pray for Rex Morgan vs The Cabin of Mobster Ghosts to come out direct to DVD.” –Victor Von

“‘That’s eight!’ giggled Patton, as urine and feces seeped into his abandoned car seat. 20 years later, a supervillain known as The Waste Product would terrorize the town with weaponized excrement.” –Izzy

“‘I don’t know what the future holds.’ Based on the alarming angle in panel one, I’d say it holds Charterstone finally being swallowed up by an angry, dissatisfied earth.” –Joe Blevins

“A mildly-attractive, yet vaguely odd-looking blonde waiting at home to surprise the ‘professor’ sounds a bit like a (weak) porn setup. But instead of sexy shenanigans, I’m sure we’ll be treated to days and days of platitudes and salmon-colored foodstuffs. For Mary Worth, that is sex.” –The Might Untrained FOOZLE

“Let us go, then, little Reggie/ When the night mantles the city/ Like victims spread out on the concrete/ For three straight weeks.” –made of wince

“One might focus on the fact that they’re drinking coffee in a field somewhere, rather than a coffee shop, but I prefer to focus on Clappy Cathy over on the far right. She’s probably out there to get all her nervous ticks out where she won’t be embarrassed, and these two assholes have to have their coffee conversation right next to her secret spot.” –rbmalpha

“By the looks of that tape player I would say Ralph is opening relations with 1991.” –saluki

“And so Toby and Ian divorced because each of them refused to let the other take the blame in their relationship.” –TheDiva

“Sure, their words say they’re apologizing to each other, but their body English in panel 2 says that the Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? antics are about to flare up again at any moment. One of them thinks this is the prelude to great sex: the other imagines it’ll lead to great sex with Hilton Berks.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“Congratulations. Sure wish I could get a few days off around here. Much less buy the damn Econo Lodge I’d have to stay at when I do. Now if you don’t mind, some people are literally waitin’ for the 1%-ers to stick it to ’em in the rear again.” –Tonya

“Uh, I guess the contract was written up by the legal department, Mr. Dithers, since that’s their job and all. Why are you asking me? My job here is pretty ill-defined, but in nearly a century nobody’s mentioned that I’m supposed to be a lawyer.” –Cambias

“On this episode of Welcome Back, Carter, former President Jimmy Carter, Egyptologist Howard Carter, H.P. Lovecraft’s Randolph Carter and — due to a hilarious typographical error — Judge Joseph Crater team up to rescue current U.S. Secretary of Defense Ashton Carter and John Carter of Mars from the menace of the Carter Islands.” –Voshkod

“Maybe Sam turned to crime because that hand up his ass started to piss him off. He is a ventriloquist dummy, right?” –DimensionalOtter

“We were terrible parents. How can we make up for that? We can’t change the past but perhaps we can be better people going forward. Let’s stand on this street corner for another four or five days debating how to do that. The last thing I want to be now is neglectful of Margo.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“‘I’m old, but I’m not good for nothing yet!’ said the 97-year-old comic, directly to its dwindling readership.” –pugfuggly

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

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