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Hey guys! I think I am going to revive a tradition I once had, where in my Friday metapost I plug some stuff I’ve written elsewhere, because why not? Surely you like me and therefore want more me, right? Anyway, here’s some stuff:

OK! Look for more links like these in the future, assuming I write more things! (If you would like me to write freelance stuff for you, in exchange for money, feel free to email me!) But until then, here’s your comment of the week:

‘Incidents lead me to believe too many people are lacking in some way!’ If art history doesn’t work out, Dawn’s got a great future as a lyricist for Morrissey.” –Esther Blodgett

And the very funny runners up!

“I cannot get over how much I enjoyed that panel! Spin-off idea: Sarah Stinks. A goat butts her into a glue-filled sewer.” –Adam, on Twitter

Meanwhile, outside a recently renovated home in a newly upscale neighborhood on the edge of downtown, a young boy and his dog stagger into the yard, trailing blood. ‘We got shot!’ Mom: ‘That does it! We are definitely moving to the suburbs! Carl, get the hydrogen peroxide – that’s the new sanitizer, you know. We’ll probably need a compress and tourniquet as well.’” –cheech wizard

Incidents lead me to believe too many people are lacking in some way! We need to dramatically reduce the global population.” –nerionaya, on Twitter

“Count Weirdly likes his robot servants to be clean shaven — so what? You might suspect that he’s up to something unsettling and odd with those smooth, smooth hairless robots. Just cause a guy is named Weirdly you assume that there’s something going on there … with those … smooth, bald, shaved, obedient, so very smooth robots. You’re projecting!” –Chareth Cutestory

Mom’s last words were ‘I know that my Redeemer liveth.’ Ha, just kidding. They were that you were always a profound disappointment to her and Dad.” –Ukulele Ike

“You hear that, Del? Jumbo orders! So you get back to the plant and start rendering those elephants: we need 500 gallons of pachysolvent by Monday!” –pugfuggly

“‘Christ, what an asshole’ is to New Yorker cartoons as ‘Pluggers long for the sweet release of death’ is to Pluggers.” –Mike

“That big fluffball snoozing in front of the TV is actually pretty cute. Who’s a depressing metaphor for the ultimate meaninglessness of existence? That’s right — you are, Kitty. Yes you are!” –Mustang

“It’s fun if you pretend that Mary already talks way too loud, and that the bolded words are her just shouting in a small room, as older people do. ‘I SAID IT’S WORTH KEEPING. KEEPING. KEE-PING.'” –Tigernan Douglas Quinn, on Facebook

“The best way to illustrate ‘How much is your relationship with Harlan worth to you?’ would be Mary rubbing her forefingers and thumb together, hinting that she could make it happen for as price.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“DAWN: …and dare I say spiritual?
MARY: No, dear.
DAWN: (lowers gaze) Yes, Mary.
MARY: (sips tea)” –Dan

“I’m guessing that, being the oldest person in the community, nobody in town is going to publicly reprimand Walt for anything anymore. I mean, who would want to be seen telling the town’s oldest person to do (or stop doing) anything? Basically, that cane is diplomatic immunity in golden, club-shaped, weaponized form.” –Brady

If only there was a wolf I could throw you both to, Papa Keane thought ruefully. He’d be my goddamn hero.” –Voskhod

Heart … attack? Is that a type of cancer?” –A Concerned Reader

Barstool malfunction.” –Midtown

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

  • Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
  • Oh, yes, and my novel is something you should buy, in hardback, paperback, or ebook form! It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.