Metapost: Holiday-break-presaging comments of the next couple of weeks!
Hi everybody! The time has come for me to go off on my multi-city Christmanukwanzaa journey! As usual, I will be returning after the first of the year and leaving this week’s COTW up until I get a week of comments when I return. (And I’ve jiggered the discussion settings so the comments for this post will remain open during my entire absence.)
I might be on hiatus a little bit longer than usual this year because faithful designer Adam Norwood and I are hard at work at unleashing a new, improved design and some exciting features for you in the new year! If we get to January and it looks like we’re close to a rollout, I may hold off on restarting posting until the second week of 2017 or so, but if it seems like it’ll be longer I’ll start in again with the old design. Refresh joshreads dot com constantly for updates!
UPDATE: Happy new year y’all! Adam and I are putting the finishing touches on the new design, so I’m gonna hold off until January 9th to start posting again. Brace yourself for excitement!
Anyway, with that said, please enjoy your comment … of the week!
“‘Now on to matters of the heart!’ [SMASH CUT TO WILBUR’S CARDIOLOGIST READING TEST RESULTS AND SHAKING HIS HEAD IN DISGUST]” –Doctor Handsome
And your very funny, 2016-capping runners up!
Peter has to put his foot down right away, or MJ will pester him to call every other superhero that they know. ‘What about Jameson? He wore Iron Man’s suit once, he kind of counts, right?’” –TheDiva
“I like the vulture in Slylock Fox. ‘C’mon, Max, you want this dollar, don’t you? Sure you do. You probably need it, am I right?’” –BeckoningChasm
“‘We’re currently in the Negative Zone’ simply means ‘No, I don’t want to talk to you.'” –Ettorre
“So, is Killer supposed to be a sheep, a cloud, or just a highly-visible, easy-to-hit object that wants to get out of the wargame as quick as possible?” –pugfuggly
“I just realized that Shoe takes place in the same universe as Slylock Fox. Down below the trees the mammals fight for dominance over what remains of the human’s world while the birds live in a futuristic society full of driverless cars and ennui.” –EscapeZeppelin
“Okay, with a little imagination, I can picture Killer wriggling, worm-like, into his tube-shaped ‘sheep’ costume and finally poking his head out the other end after a half hour of struggle. But how did he get the hat on his head after that?” –Joe Blevins
“The real tipoff came from Loweezy, who is not surprisingly delighted to see her husband go to jail.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid
“Of course, even if Snuffy isn’t frozen to death, there’s no way he’ll be able to hear the Sherriff with so much snow and ice packed around his head. After the Sherriff shoots Snuffy for ‘resistin arrest,’ the snowman will serve to keep the body from putrefying too much until the ground thaws enough to dig a grave.” –JJ48
“Today we learn that Zak is not, in fact, 25 years old. He’s a centuries-old undead creature who maintains his youthful appearance by absorbing the life energies of his middle-aged paramours. Just look at the process happening to poor Iris right before our eyes! By tomorrow she’ll be a dry, discarded husk.” –Steve S
“General Halftrack isn’t dying; the Rapture is occurring. Miss Buxley is about the ascend, hence her spreading her arms so she can fly better. Also, we, the readers are also rapidly rising, which is why the General seems to be sinking from out perspective. Clearly, reading Beetle Bailey for our entire lives counts as our penance.” –Drew Funk
“Just realized, Mark Trail is dropping the ultimate ironic twist: everything but the boat is exploding.” –Dan
“If only there were some way to convert electricity to heat.” –James Dowd, on Facebook
“Even in Wilbur’s imagination, Iris looks like she’s settling” –Kevin on Earth
“It’s fun to imagine that the military has grabbed Wilbur for research purposes in trying to figure out his immortality. ‘Sir, he’s been in the oxygen-deprivation, mayo-starvation unit for 30 days. Seriously, he shouldn’t be alive. But. He. Is.’” –Dood
“Aaron wants to know what’s coming up this weekend? Well, Christmas, for starters. And I didn’t even have to scroll down through the ads on Google!” –seismic-2
“Wow, hey, Spider-Man is looking like a muscular sex machine in panel one as he’s popping his shirt off. Oh, wait, next panel has him huddled very awkwardly in his undies trying desperately to get his costume out. Immediate re-balancing of the scales.” –Chareth Cutestory
“‘No sense blowing my secret identity’ shouts Peter to his famous wife as he carefully unfolds the costume he carries everywhere and pulls it on in public, mask last.” –Schroduck
“I feel like saying ‘Stay back, honey’ as he disrobes probably sums up all levels Peter and MJ’s relationship, unfortunately.” –Here csome the Judge
“What’s that box supposed to be? Did Peter have to type his costume?” –made of wince
And I must give a huge thanks to all the extremely kind people who put some scratch in my tip jar or backed me on Patreon! I’m taking a moritorium on ad buys because the redesign is going to reshuffle the ad slots, but look for exciting ways you can advertise on this site come 2017! Happy New Year! Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Let’s hope for a real Kwanzaa madness tale in Curtis this year! I love you all! See you next year!