Metapost: Ad note, plus COTW!
Hey all, an extremely brief note on ads here: over the past few months I’ve gotten some complaints about ads on my site redirecting you elsewhere, especially on phones and tablets. I’ve got a new ad provider now and I think these problems should be solved. If you do have further trouble with the ads, please email me at email@example.com and I’ll see what I can do! You’ll also notice that most of my new banner ads have “report ad” links at the bottom left, so if they’re behaving badly (especially if they’re playing audio) please click that and let the advertiser know directly.
And now, without further ado, it’s your comment of the week!
“Wilbur’s look of horror is understandable. Since he has never heard of any human being named ‘Zak’, he assumes that now he has been replaced by a brand of vibrator.” –seismic-2
And your hilarious runners up!
“At least Thel will have a Merry Christmas. She finally ran away, leaving a big cartoon-style hole in the wall of the house.” –nescio
“I’ve seen a lot of unrealistic things in this comic strip: misshapen criminals, space aliens, personal-use spaceships, etc. But two teenagers that still go to the mall and still buy CDs may take the cake.” –Where’s Rocky
“The Keane’s house appears to be about four feet wide. For some reason, nothing about this strip has ever depressed me more.” –Pozzo
“The animals paint everything in the neighborhood white because they only have a vague idea what gentrification entails.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip
“Slylock doesn’t even bother to point out to Shady that using a water soluble paint on the outside of his house is a terrible idea. While performing a citizen’s arrest on the shrew, he fails to notice Eddie Elephant dumping the waste from his brush wash bucket into the pond, which can only benefit from a proprietary concoction of dimethylforamide, 2-butoxyethanol and ethylbenzene.” –Hogenmogen
“Full communism at the Six Chix studio in 2018. #sixlidarity” –Dan
“This khaki-clad individual is not a third-string paranormal; he’s a member of the cult of Jack Hanna, whose members live zookeeper based lifestyles and often recruit new followers by staging fake animal attacks and then ‘rescuing’ the victims. The fact that the comic letterist misspelled Hanna’s name in his prayer just shows the kind of prejudice these brave worshippers face in today’s secular society.” –samurailizard
“What Wilbur had in Bogota…? Cocaine? Is he talking about cocaine? It would certainly explain the filthy credit card he’s holding up to his face.” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE
“In trying to figure out what it means that she studied the report about the 110 football players ‘intently,’ I Googled the word, and it took me to the Merriam-Webster definition of ‘intent,” the first listing being ‘the design or purpose to commit a wrongful or criminal act.’ Grifter Concussion Doctor: this could be the best Gil Thorp story line ever!” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women
“Wilbur, I’ve got a millennial boyfriend now. He’s looking at apps on his phone as we speak!” –Peanut Gallery
“I like that they spelled it ‘Bogotà,’ just to assure us that yes, Wilbur is saying that word in a Spanish accent and yes, he is that insufferable guy who comes back from vacation with a whole new set of unbearable foreign affectations. You made an excellent decision, Iris. Stay the course.” –pugfuggly
“I’m so happy that there’s still a lingering possibility that we’ll get to see Mark punch a prairie dog.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid
“Man, June is missing out on the great sport of messing with people. ‘Yes, they may as well be twins. They were vat-grown from the same DNA and yet one turned out blond and the other has black hair. Nature, nurture, Brazilian Hitler-clone facility, who knows? Oh, heil, I’ve said too much. I meant oh, hell, of course. Not heil. We should go now.’” –Voshkod
“Okay guys, we got to get our story straight if anybody asks. Remember, the bear ate the bank loot when he ate the three perps. Now for the big question: what’s 200 grand divided by three?” –Guillermo el chiclero
“‘Now, if you folks will pardon me, I’ve got to get back to the station — there’s a lot of paperwork to do!’ Having said this, the sheriff took a moment to survey the faces of the others in the room. All glum, every one. Clearly, his attempt to launch a catchphrase just then had failed.” –Joe Blevins
“‘HULK WILL SMASH‘ is an interesting development. Normally, Hulk is only capable of expressing himself in the simple present tense, but here he is getting all modal future on us. Looking forward to Hulk advancing through preterite (‘HULK SMASHED’), perfect (‘HULK HAD SMASHED’), progressive (‘HULK IS SMASHING’), subjunctive (‘IF HULK WERE TO SMASH’), simple conditional (‘HULK WOULD SMASH’), pluperfect progressive (‘HULK HAD BEEN SMASHING’) and finally the conditional perfect progressive (‘HULK WOULD HAVE BEEN SMASHING’)” –Schroduck
“The real question is: who’s throwing that football? It looks like it’s emerging from Token Black Basketball Guy’s skull like some kind of Dick’s Sporting Goods Athena.” –TheDiva
“Now that there is a second credentialed scientist on the scene, surely Dr. Connors has no more use for a photojournalist who excelled at high school chemistry. So for Peter and MJ, it’s off to the next adventure! Or Pretty Little Liars binge, or whatever!” –A Concerned Reader
“Although morally questionable, I understand that Gil Thorp has to pander to his audience of people who love football and do not care about concussions. I am just saying that there are not enough people reading newspapers today, so promoting an injury which robs the people of their ability to read is self-defeating in the long-term.” –Ettore
“The real story in today’s Mark Trail is not that he is admitting to eating prairie dog, it’s that he has admitted to eating something as wildly exotic as enchiladas.” –grsblvnyk
“You can see where this is going. The causal rip in space-time that allowed the bearded evil Uncle Gary to replace football loving, proud American Uncle Gary will be repaired by Gil using his vast knowledge of alternative quantum theory and his other-worldly intellect. That or maybe they’ll Skype Rick’s dad.” –Mikey
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