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“There’s far more interesting story that we’re not being told in Blondie. Dumb kid with fighting parents, boring. Who stole Blondie’s voice, and what sort of quest they’ll send her on to recover it, that’s a good tale. I’m thinking Dagwood sold her voice to the Devil in exchange for free food.” –Voshkod


“The police wrist wizards in Dick Tracy are large because of the integrated hi-res body cam. The recordings are used not in court cases, though, but in a weekly game show in which a prize is awarded to the cop dealing out the best, most imaginative violence to criminals.” –Gerry Quinn

“I really think this strip should consider changing its name to Least Of All, Spider-Man.” –pugfuggly

“I usually think of malapropisms about habitual lawbreakers as the Snuffy Smif beat, but I guess for this set up to work the characters have to be able to read.” –matt w

“Max Mouse is reciting a crime puzzle while balancing on a log in front of a fire with his shirt off. This is the weirdest key party ever.” –Glod Gloddson

“Save room for dessert! We’re having Giant Bowl of Flour!” –Peanut Gallery

Ted Miller is an anagram for ‘red millet.’ Clearly Mary is getting tired of sharing bland white flour with Jeff, and is ready to cook with an alternative grain, if you know what I mean.” –BigTed

“Wow! Snuffy Smith today perfectly illustrates the Atlantic article I just read about the idea of food deserts. Despite her botanical knowledge (and possibility of reaching a Whole Foods by broom? Maybe?), her food choices reflect her locale and culture and are deeply entrenched.” –Janna L., on Twitter

“I just love that Granny Creeps is buying blonde hair dye. I can imagine her back home in her hovel, surrounded by glass jars full of grotesque animal parts suspended in some nasty liquid and staring at her green visage in a cracked looking glass. ‘Y’know what the fellers would find fetching? Blonde tresses!’” –Joe Momma

“‘Meet my Mary‘ indeed! Because don’t we all have a Mary, in a very real and muffiney sense?” –Hopester

“When the forces of earth move outward to conquer the rest of the solar system, I hope we attack the asteroid belt with Mark’s battle cry on our lips, ‘Remember the dinosaurs!’” –seismic-2

“How timely! Ripped from today’s headlines: Mr. Dithers calls Marlene into his office to watch him masturbate.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“Dagwood engages in some teen-text-speak of his own. MFGBL in this context is clearly Make Facebook Give Bumstead Likes. If it weren’t for me keeping up with the hip kids of today, you fellow ‘mudges would never learn these cool, new things. You’re welcome.” –Hogenmogen

“‘What totally bored person would even care about what I do?’ is a little too on-the-nose for a meta-comment about the Blondie strip.” –nescio

“Blondie has a long tradition of Mr. Dithers abusing Dagwood for not working. Those lazy workers, amirite? But today we glimpse the real truth — it’s not like the boss actually does work for his money either. He just hypocritically blames his subordinates. I say this subversive deconstruction of our class system is long overdue in newspaper comics, and if it has to be disguised as a joke that doesn’t quite make sense, so be it.” –pachoo

“The likelihood that Doc is yelling into the phone at his AA sponsor makes this the saddest Mark Trail ever.” –Where’s Rocky

“I’m guessing that mirror behind the Keane parents is actually a two-way mirror, confirming my suspicions that the Keane Kompound is actually a long-running psychological experiment.” –Andrew

“Bil reads the paper aloud as Thel tries to interpret the news according to the Book of Revelation.” –lumaca morente

“For at least a decade (probably two), Radiohead have been more into droning ambient electronica than any catchy rock stuff that anyone might scream at. I’m pretty sure that in keeping with Marvin’s themes of awful humans doing awful things, Jeff and Jenny just spent the whole evening yelling ‘PLAY CREEP’ at the top of their voices to spoil everyone else’s enjoyment of ‘Lotus Flower.’” –Schroduck

“The contact lenses Mary uses to hide her yellow snake eyes appear to be slipping out of place in that first panel. Is she preparing to unhinge her jaw and consume Ted Miller, the latest sacrifice brought to her by her faithful high priest Dr Jeff? Find out next week on Mary Worth: Snake Goddess.” –Truckosaurus

“Smash cut to Mary and Ted trying to drum up venture capital for their muffin business while a 28-year-old dead-eyed investment banker asks them how they’re going to connect baked goods to an app. ‘Like Uber for muffins!” Ted desperately blurts out.” –Dan

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