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Hey all! One week from tonight the Internet Read Aloud, my free monthly comedy show in Los Angeles, returns to the stage in Los Angeles and is free! We’ve got a great lineup, and, I’m just going gently whisper, “a special robot guest star.” Here’s the Facebook event!

And here’s the comment of the week! Very funny!

“Sometimes I wish I had a real dad instead of one of those buttons you push in museums to ‘Learn More.’” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

And here are the very funny runners up!

“An intimate dinner where your bowl of milk is seasoned only with the flavour of Leroy’s breath.” –Rhody Tobin, on Facebook

“Slylock Fox here to enforce his biggest concern: the Fair Packaging and Labeling Act of 1967.” –Windier E. Megatons, on Twitter

“Too little too late, Dennis. The ICBMs are already detonating on the horizon. Recycling a glass bottle once a day won’t mean anything when nuclear winter takes hold.” –jroggs

None of these ingredients are real, unlike talking animals who engage in customer fraud.” –Erez

“Clearly this query about the possible diminution of the auditory capabilities of Roy Rogers’s horse is not merely a rhetorical question or the subject of idle speculation on the part of this plugger — we see from the sofa’s end table that he’s already pulled out three volumes of The World Book Encyclopedia to read up on ‘Horses,’ ‘Deafness,’ and ‘Movie Sound Tracks.’ The man has done some research, is what I’m saying.” –seismic-2

“So I ate the parrot and spit up his remains in a ball.” –Little Blue Bicycle

“If a plugger with a lousy memory keeps telling the same joke to a plugger with lousy hearing, does either one notice? Plus, if neither of them can see anything through his tiny glasses, do they even know the other one is there? And with a steady diet of diner coffee and stale pie, in a few years will any of this even matter? Sometimes plugger life seems very, very sad.” –BigTed

“Somehow this brain teaser is familiar: Spidey needs to get JJJ, Banner, and Connors to the other side of the swamp, but he can only tuck two of them under his arms at a time. If he leaves JJJ and Connors alone together, JJJ will reveal Connors’ true identity. If he leaves Connors and Banner alone at the same time, there will be another blood transfusion, with bad consequences for all involved. How does Spidey get all three across the swamp?” –DAS

“There are many advantages to not reading Funky Winkerbean. Today’s is that with no concept of who these people are or what’s going on in the plot, I can pretend that they have been imprisoned in an unfurnished room with hardwood floors, empty picture frames, and bars on the windows where society will never have to think of them again. This is a marked improvement over the traditional Funky Winkerbean punishment, in which people die of cancer and everyone else has to think of them in perpetuity.” –Drew Funk

“Is finding out that Prime Negatron is named after a cut of meat really such a disappointing origin, compared to the more probable truth that he’s a calculated rip off of someone else’s intellectual property?” –pachoo

“Pluggers don’t use them high-tech dryer machines. No, sir. They’re connected to the internet these days, and sure as heck I ain’t lettin’ no Mr. Putin know what panties my wife’s wearin’. I’ll hang ’em on a line in the yard fer th’ neighbors t’ see.” –Hogenmogen

Now I see why you’re so good at fairy tales. Your mastery of the morphology of folk tales, such as the Aarne-Thompson Index, and your ability to force someone into them, is truly terrifying. The way you destroyed the IRS audit team by feeding them to the ogre in the castle (AT 1160), and the way you sent the Director of the IRS over a bridge to another world (AT 471), have taught me the meaning of fear (AT 326). Please, now, I’ve finished your taxes, no charge, please don’t let me be swallowed by a fish (AT 1889G) or kill me five times (AT 1537).” –Voshkod

“Now that there are two suns, the Flagstons are really going to regret paving the inside of their house.” –Joe Blevins

“This is not the first time I’ve wondered about the people who send suggestions in to Pluggers. What was Nancy Shue thinking that fateful day when she came up with her idea? Did she tell anyone about it? ‘Hey, you know what would make a great gag for Pluggers? You know, that thing in the newspaper with the animal-people? Yes, it’s called Pluggers. Yes, I read it.’” –Randy

“Mark Trail sure looks excited to be watching a plane crash.” –Schroduck

“I don’t hear him, Henry, so he’s probably gone and best forgotten. [keeps filling in boy-sized hole]” –pugfuggly

“I love Mayan temples, Rusty! All those arrogant buildings, made by cutting stone and ravishing the forest — they stood so proud, like a scar on the skin of Mother Earth. Then human civilisation fell, human beings exterminated like bugs and nature retook what was hers. Now these ruins mock human arrogance! One day the entire world will be like this, Rusty, and it won’t be too soon!” –Ettore

“I’m glad to see Gil Thorp returning to its roots, which as years of this site have taught me are giant hands taking up disproportionate amounts of panel space.” –Dragon of Life

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