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Guys! One week from tonight, in LA, you need to come to The Internet Read Aloud, my beloved comedy show. Need to, I say, need to! Don’t miss it!

Also don’t miss this comment of the week! (How could you miss it, honestly? It’s right here!)

“‘That’s quite an array of men!‘ Mary said, frantically trying to think of a way to gently let her addled friend know that they were looking at an ad for a men’s hair salon.” –jroggs

Don’t miss these runners up either!

“Jeff is very insightful here. Marvin is 2-3 years old and experiencing severe speech delay, but he’d probably overcome it out of sheer spite just to embarrass his parents by yelling swear words in public.” –TheDiva

“In the final frame, Toby goes in for the kiss… and somehow it’s a CLEAN MISS! Strike three, swinging!” –Just John

This would be a great time for Jannie to come crashing through the bedroom window, wielding a knife and screaming, ‘GIVE ME A B MINUS!’” –Joe Blevins

“Look, I know it’s MJ and not Dr. Strange or Doug Henning, but I still maintain hope that when she pulls the blanket off of Killgrave he’ll be replaced with a small flock of doves.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“So, anyone taking bets on down what new dark path this story is heading? I’m guessing Bull tries to commit suicide to spare his wife the agony of taking care of him in his final days, leaving behind a letter full of hilarious malapropisms.” –pugfuggly

“‘Does every president have to pass the cherry tree test?’ ‘Yes. If the American voters swallow a made-up anecdote that proves how honest and cool you are, you have plenty of chances of getting elected.’” –Ettore

“‘What about you, Les, have you given any thought to retiring?’ ‘Like I told the principal, I don’t care how many students signed that petition. If anything, it made me more determined to stay here, out of spite!’” –Horace Broon

“Mary will hopefully accumulate enough of Libby’s dander on her clothes to keep Jeff out of her apartment for several weeks.” –nescio

“Generally, applicants at Silverdaters have to go through a rigorous screening process to make sure they qualify. In this case she only had to prove her name is ‘Estelle.’” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“‘Every sentence ends with exclamation marks in this strip,’ the Phantom thinks. ‘I’m going to mix it up a little. How about starting with exclamation marks? !!Here we go…’” –Peanut Gallery

“Look at these entitled Millennials with their jobs that are so poorly paid they have to beg their coworkers for money to go out and enjoy themselves.” –Rosstifer

“The combination of drooping ceiling liner and no-headrest seats creates the optical illusion of a busted out windshield — making me think at first of the awful carnage just off-panel. ‘Hello, AAA? Me again. Route 6. Bring a shovel.’” –Blonde, Jane Blonde

“Like a Dickensian workhouse, Mr. Dithers does not allow his employees paid time off. Also, this young man wasn’t promoted as much as he grew up and could no longer fit into the crawl spaces where he and the other urchins were forced to carry the mail to other floors unseen by human eyes.” –Dread

“Mimi shouldn’t worry. After they’ve tucked into their gigantic basket of nachos with a side of brussels sprouts, she’s not going to need any deflector shield to keep Marty Moon away, if you know what I’m talking about. (I’m talking about the farting)” –Schroduck

“Chip has an REO Speedwagon t-shirt on, which is even sadder than the lava lamp filled with turds in the background.” –Rusty

“Is that plugger a capybara? Is this a preview for the ultimate crossover, Pluggers and Mark Trail? I’m crossing my slightly webbed feet AND my vestigial tail.” –Briane Pagel

“Perplexed by the ‘there goes the neighborhood‘ when Marty Moon has lived in Milford for as long as (if not longer than) any of the ladies in this strip. Perhaps Marty is only allowed above ground to do high school sportscasting and is otherwise confined to the sewers. Seeing him out and about in town proves that Milford law enforcement is getting a little too lax.” –Jenna

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