Metapost: Every week has comments. These are their stories.
Folks, your COTW in a moment, but first, a note: I am making an appearance at a live comedy show not my own (whatttt????) one week from tonight! It is the always fun and hilarious Game Night, hosted by Laser Malena-Webber of the Doubleclicks and Joseph Scrimshaw of Rifftrax! The show is at Geeky Teas & Games in Burbank, and I’m jazzed about it! See you there!
But what I’m seeing here is the comment of the week:
“The power light on Mark has gone to the slow blink of ‘stand by’.” –Foodar
Along with the hilarious runners up!
“Henry rejects the authority of the state to legislate mandatory seat belt use, and has taken it to extremes by removing all the belts in his car. He is upping the menace by driving something that looks like it uses corrugated cardboard in lieu of sheet metal for the bodywork.” –Rusty
“Okay, I’ve come to terms with the fact that the throwaway panels on Dennis the Menace Sunday strips will no longer contain their own, self-contained jokes. Whoever does the strip now can’t be bothered. Fine. Be lazy. Yawn in the Grim Reaper’s face. Whatever. But now, the traditional Sunday subtitle isn’t even a pun? This one is called ‘A Nice Thought,’ and it’s about Dennis having a nice thought. That’s just … I mean, Jesus Christ, Dennis the Menace! You had your own prime time show for four years! And a movie starring Walter Matthau! He won an Oscar … not for that, but still, he won one. What I’m saying is, where’s the pride?” –Joe Blevins
“Alternative explanation: Doc Pritchart doesn’t actually have a working x-ray machine, that‘s just a drawing of what he imagines a skeleton looks like.” –Boston Unscientific, on Twitter
“I know it is difficult for the captain to go down with the ship, but he IS a duck.” –amarylliss
“[Sixty years later] ‘And once, kids, when I was twelve, I was on a plane that landed in the desert.’ [Grandchildren look up briefly from their phones] ‘Really?’ ‘Yeah, a bus came and picked us up.’ [Kids look back down at their phones] ‘I sat next to a doctor.’ [Kids get up and walk into the next room] ‘He said I could tell you this story!’” –But What Do I Know?
“Is this what phone sex looks like in retirement? I’ll just keep eating cheeseburgers and try to die at 50, thank you.” –DevOpsDad
“Pluggers’ contempt is usually reserved for younger people and the newfangled things they like, but I’m guessing from the waitress’s glasses and paunch that she too is a plugger, and salads have been around for centuries. Maybe the waitress-dog horrified look is saying, ‘Look, pal, I’m on your side, but we pluggers can’t just start hating everything. This isn’t Crankshaft, for Pete’s sake.’” –Jenna
“That ‘bearded‘ is awkward and gratuitous, but you have to get Mark emotionally involved somehow.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women
“Wait a minute, ‘our parents-in-law are going to live with us and make us miserable‘ is a plot point of Crankshaft. I believed that not even Funky Winkerbean would sink so low as to steal from Crankshaft!” –Ettore
“Yep, the Doc said that as long as you trust the pilot, everything will always be fine! Fatal crashes only happen when people don’t trust the pilot enough!” –JJ48
“Dennis’ fifth birthday is an infinite number that never repeats, which is why it’s celebrated on 3/14.” –cheech wizard
“There’s a non-zero chance that between panels 2 and 3, Dagwood tried to snort that phone.” –pugfuggly
“It’s clearly a catfish though. There are no successful men named Arthur.” –Dan
“The only people Dag actually talks to are his elderly boss and the kid from down the street, so his main cultural touchpoints are the Korean War and some 12-year-old girl who does unboxing videos on YouTube.” –BigTed
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