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Folks! With zero ado, here is this week’s top comment!

“Rex knows the obligations of his profession compel him to ask medical questions and receive answers from the aging husk of flesh before him, but goddamnit it doesn’t mean he’s obliged to LIKE it.” –The Silent Penultimate Panel

And here are this week’s very funny runners up!

“Sorry, but I don’t buy any of this. I can’t believe that the pirates would be so casual about a treasure map they’d just been studying. I can’t believe that Hagar would literally run home to tell his family he loves them. I can’t believe that his family would take him at face value, let alone be so enthusiastic about this. Most of all, I can’t believe Hagar’s vocabulary includes both ‘extraordinary’ and ‘incalculable.’” –Joe Blevins

“Look, buddy, walking around with that baby is already a perfectly good gimmick for picking up chicks. Adding an extra element to the scam is like putting a hat on a hat.” –BigTed

“On the one hand, the writer has given him the sort of unlikely pile-up of letters that a person who has never met a Polish person is likely to make up. On the other hand, ‘Tildy Bobrowski’ is the kind of super-charged zaniness Aunt Tildy is destined for, especially when she comes back to freeload again next year, after ol’ Andrzej here is dead.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“Ah, Rex Morgan: the strip with a narration box that tells you exactly what’s going to happen, and then shows you that thing, regardless of how pointless or dull it might be. Never change.” –pugfuggly

“Given the grotesque Gasoline Alley aesthetic, I guess looking being a regular schlub is like the real world equivalent of being Pierce Brosnan.” –toxic

“The question isn’t whether Rex will violate HIPAA to tell Aunt Tildy all about Andrezjsfn’s personal history in an attempt to hook them up and get her out of his hair — of course he’s going to do that — but whether he’ll wait until the end of the day or cancel all his afternoon appointments at the last minute.” –TheDiva

“‘REMIND HIM WHAT I SAID ABOUT NO FOSSILIZED RECORD OF YETI OR YETI LIKE CREATURE EXISTING!!!’ [Takes out sign-off sheet. Puts initials in ‘2:30am’ box]” –Foodar

“Wilbur said ‘firsthand’ and ‘hard on’ in relation to long distance relationships to tell Hugo to get used to a lot of masturbation, but Hugo doesn’t speak English well enough to pick up the subtleties and will probably just cheat on Dawn.” –nescio

“Into Thick Air, a story of madness and tragedy in the Himalayas, will be the book that makes Mark famous. I mean, more famous. So famous that people who aren’t poachers and bass kidnappers will recognize him.” –Voshkod

“Times have been tough for Sam, without any clients in his new office. He has resorted to attaching a severed arm on top of his desk with the palm up, so that visitors can just drop cash into it without having to endure the annoyance of actually talking to Sam.” –seismic-2

“His stump speech will just be waving his paperback book in the air and asking if ‘you know who I am?’” –Rusty

“Dawn’s latest heartbreak comes when she realizes that she isn’t video-chatting with Hugo but, rather, watching a poorly dubbed anime on YouTube.” –Her Father, John Darling

“Long-distance relationships are always hard, but it must be especially rough with Hugo imprisoned in the Phantom Zone.” –Dan

“Look deep into your heart. It is a sex joke. You know this. No, don’t resist. Let the truth wash over you like a wave.” –pastordan

“Fire hydrant? Otto is imagining a trashcan to dispose of the bloodied and bruised body of the faux-patriarchal tyrant known as ‘Sarge,’ colored red as a means of communicating with his fellow comrades. Step two: fashion hammer and sickle out of his retrieved bones.” –Irrischano

“Look, I don’t mean to downplay Otto’s obviously abusive relationship with the Sarge, but if he can stand on his hind legs and tie the necktie on his uniform, he can probably just use the latrine.” –Francisco Arrowroot

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